The Breakfast Club – We Talk Back: "Peri Who?" feat. Dr. Kelly Elmore

Date: December 13, 2025
Hosts: Tam Bam & AJ Holiday 2.0
Guest: Dr. Kelly Elmore (OBGYN, founder of KOE Medical Consulting)

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the realities of perimenopause and menopause, featuring Dr. Kelly Elmore—a board-certified OBGYN and retired Navy captain. Hosts Tam Bam and AJ Holiday bring humor and honesty, sharing their own experiences and questions about women’s health. Dr. Elmore breaks down myths, symptoms, lifestyle adjustments, and medical options, framing the "change" as a powerful, inevitable, and manageable life phase for women. The conversation is candid, relatable, and packed with practical advice.

Main Topics & Key Discussion Points

1. Busting Menopause Myths

• Myth: Hormone therapy is universally unsafe due to old studies (06:50)
  • Dr. Elmore (26:50): “A lot of people thought that they could not utilize hormone replacement... But more women are able to utilize supplements and hormone therapy to help them navigate perimenopause and menopause.”
• FDA warnings have changed; hormone therapy may be appropriate for more women than commonly thought.

2. Understanding Perimenopause & Menopause

• Definitions (27:47–29:00):
  • Menopause: Twelve consecutive months without a menstrual period, caused by significant drops in estrogen and progesterone—an irreversible life phase.
  • Perimenopause: The years leading up to menopause, when hormones fluctuate erratically. Can last 5-10 years and can start in the 40s.
  • Notable Quote:
    Dr. Elmore (28:21): “If you live past age 60, you are going to go through the change... Just like when you were born, you went through adolescence, [now] you’re going through the change.”
• Symptoms: Hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, vaginal dryness, low libido, joint pain, heart palpitations, brain fog (“minnow belly” a.k.a. midriff weight gain).
• AJ Holiday (29:05): "See, I used to think it's like when you stop liking men—men know: pause, pause on these men..."

3. Symptom Management & Treatment

• Lifestyle: Emphasis on nutrition (the "Viva Life 5"), exercise, stress reduction, and sleep.
  • Dr. Elmore (46:45): "We should be exercising five to six times a week, if not seven... even if the seventh day is just going for a walk."
• Medical options: Hormone replacement therapy, vaginal estrogen, and plant-based/herbal supplements (e.g., maca, ashwagandha, fenugreek).
  • Dr. Elmore (34:16): “There are medications for women that help improve their libido, sex drive, and vaginal moisture; more are coming out."
• Holistic approaches: Dr. Elmore supports combining pharmaceutical and alternative/plant-based remedies. Importance of working with integrative or functional medicine practitioners.

4. Black Women, Stress, and Early Menopause

• Earlier Onset: Black women may experience perimenopause and menopause eight months to a year earlier than white women (44:05).
• Factors: Chronic stress, racism, structural discrimination all play a role.
  • Dr. Elmore (44:24): “That is associated with the amount of stress and weight that we carry as Black women... financial, mental, emotional responsibilities more than most people do.”

5. Common Misconceptions & Questions from Listeners

• Hysterectomies: Surgical removal of uterus (hysterectomy) vs. ovaries (oophorectomy)—removing ovaries induces immediate ("surgical") menopause (35:57).
  • Dr. Elmore (36:05): “You can have surgical menopause... medical menopause... or natural menopause.”
• Fibroids: Black women get fibroids more often, but fibroids don’t trigger menopause; hormones affect fibroid growth (56:51).
• Vaginal Dryness: Can use vaginal estrogen, lubricants, and dietary changes to help (“If you don’t use it, you lose it” - 32:53). Maca and fenugreek highlighted for libido/support.
• Alcohol & Diet: Limit alcohol, sodium, and fried foods. Eat “clean” 85-90% of the time.

6. Tracking, Conversation & Community

• Cycle Tracking: Continue tracking periods and symptoms to monitor changes (77:50).
• Mother-Daughter Talk: Normalize conversations about women's health, cycles, and menopause.
  • Dr. Elmore (78:39): “Your children are going to experience your menopause probably before you notice the change in yourself. Have these conversations with your boys and girls.”
• Social Connection: Community support crucial for staying active and motivated (50:19).

7. Holistic Advice & Life Philosophy

• Dr. Elmore’s “Viva Life 5”: Five daily habits—fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains/beans, water; plus spiritual, mental, physical, financial, and emotional health focus (59:44).
  • Dr. Elmore (81:47): “Do not be afraid of this. It can be the best time of your life as well. Period.”

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Staying After Cheating (Paul Pierce story):
  AJ Holiday (8:34): “Don't test me. Cause you’re gonna fail every fucking time.”
• On knowing your worth:
  AJ Holiday (11:10): “I’ll never think I can’t do better. I can do comparable to you or greater every single time.”
• On perimenopause’s symptoms:
  Dr. Elmore (53:58): “A lot of men will tell you... I don’t know what’s going on with her, but she seem like...”
• On libido in your 40s:
  AJ Holiday (69:44): “It feels like since I turned 40, I’m like, who’s calling my phone? I’m horny all the time. Is that normal?” Dr. Elmore (70:03): “Perimenopause is just like puberty. What happened in puberty? You found yourself, you found all that hotness.”
• On using vaginal products:
  Dr. Elmore (66:25): “If you’re okay with using estrogen, place it in your vagina a couple times a week and it will help you significantly.”
• On food and family:
  Tam Bam (59:02): “Over the years, my mama’s food... tastes more like white people food because she don’t use salt like that no more. She don’t fry no more. Everything is changing, but I’m adopting that a little bit, okay?”

Essential Timestamps

• Dr. Elmore’s background & medical calling: 21:12–22:22
• Menopause & perimenopause explained: 27:47–29:05
• Diet, exercise, and the “Viva Life 5”: 45:33–49:48; 59:44–60:53
• Menopause myths debunked: 26:50–27:30
• Black women and earlier menopause: 44:02–44:54
• Holistic vs mainstream medicine: 67:32–69:44
• Questions about libido, vaginal dryness, and practical treatments: 32:19–34:14, 64:54–67:32, 69:44–72:47
• Tracking cycles and mother-daughter conversations: 77:50–79:24
• Final advice & resources: 81:35–82:56

Tone & Style

• Humorous, unfiltered, supportive, and practical
• Language is direct, occasionally explicit, always relatable
• Focus on empowerment, honesty, and breaking taboos about aging and sexuality for Black women

Resource Links & How to Connect

• Dr. Kelly Elmore:

  • Website: doctorkellyomd.com
  • Instagram: @doctorkellyomd
  • Viva Life program: info on the website / links provided during show

• We Talk Back podcast:

  • Instagram: @wetalkbackpodcast

Closing Wisdom

“Do not be afraid of the change. It can be the best time of your life as well, period.” — Dr. Kelly Elmore (81:47)

Summary by The Breakfast Club: We Talk Back – “Peri Who? feat. Dr. Kelly Elmore”
For further questions or community, connect with the hosts and Dr. Kelly via social media or the provided web links.