The Brett Cooper Show: "Can Women Have it All?" | Episode 10 Summary

Release Date: March 3, 2025
Host: Brett Cooper

Introduction: Navigating Modern Women's Roles

In Episode 10 titled "Can Women Have it All?", Brett Cooper delves into the evolving discourse surrounding women's roles in contemporary society. Highlighting the increasing polarization, especially within right-leaning circles, Cooper examines the conflicting expectations placed upon women, ranging from career ambitions to traditional homemaking.

The Social Media Storm: Ashley St. Clair and Patriarchy Hannah

Cooper opens the discussion by addressing recent controversies involving public figures like Ashley St. Clair and Patriarchy Hannah:

• Ashley St. Clair: Initially advocating for a traditional life centered around marriage and motherhood, St. Clair's subsequent actions—becoming a single mother and publicly seeking support from a wealthy partner—led to public scrutiny and accusations of hypocrisy. Cooper mentions, “Ashley St. Clair posted one thing online and then obviously did another...” (02:45).

• Patriarchy Hannah: Presenting herself as a devout Christian conservative with a large family, Hannah was later exposed as fictitious, revealing that her portrayed life was entirely fabricated. Cooper remarks, “She had no children whatsoever. She was not married to a man named Tony... it was all a sham” (04:10).

These incidents exemplify the broader online debates about women's authenticity and their place in modern society.

Megyn Kelly's Viral Tweet: Misinterpretations and Backlash

A significant portion of the episode centers on Megyn Kelly's controversial tweet, which has garnered over 4.1 million views:

Megyn Kelly's Tweet:
"Ladies, it is possible to make your own money, have your own care, pay for your own swanky New York City apartment, et cetera, and find a man who loves you and wants to have and raise kids with you and wants to be with you and only you. The only thing stopping you is your decision to settle for less."
(09:22)

Public Reaction: The tweet sparked intense backlash on social media, with critics labeling it as a feminist agenda or accusing Kelly of unrealistic expectations. Responses ranged from personal testimonials of struggle to outright rejection of Kelly's message.

Cooper's Interpretation: Brett argues that Kelly's intent was misrepresented. She believes Kelly was advocating for personal agency and value-driven choices rather than enforcing the notion that women must achieve societal standards of success. Cooper states, “Megyn Kelly was sort of trying to explain... making choices that are good for you and your values and your family” (10:21).

Historical Context: The Origin of "Having It All"

Cooper provides a comprehensive history of the "Having It All" concept:

• Helen Gurley Brown (1982): As the editor of Cosmopolitan, Brown popularized the term in her book "Having It: Love, Success, Sex and Money", encouraging women to balance career aspirations with personal life.

• Earlier Uses: Before Brown, Joyce Gabriel and Betty Baldwin's "Having It: A Practical Guide to Managing a Home and a Career" (1980) offered tips for working mothers, although it primarily targeted affluent women.

Critical Analysis: Cooper critiques the foundational ideology, noting that Brown herself did not embrace motherhood, as reflected in her minimal discussion of children in her book. This omission laid the groundwork for unrealistic expectations, setting women up for dissatisfaction by promoting an unattainable ideal.

“This whole ideology... the girl boss push... actually excluded motherhood from the get-go.”
— Brett Cooper (15:50)

Cultural Shifts and the Decline of Feminism's Centrality

Cooper observes that the fervor around feminism has waned:

• Exhaustion and Disillusionment: Decades of promoting the "Have It All" mantra led to widespread burnout and resentment among women who felt pressured to meet impossible standards.

• Rise of Traditional Aesthetics: Movements like Ballerina Farm, which embrace traditional roles and aesthetics, are gaining popularity as a response to the shortcomings of feminist ideals.

• Christine Hassler's Insight: Hassler, a motivational speaker, articulates the personal toll of chasing an elusive "having it all" dream, emphasizing the lack of fulfillment it brings.

“Trying to do it all at once... has made me realize that having it all was perhaps not all it was cracked up to be.”
— Christine Hassler (27:20)

Faith and Modern Womanhood: Insights from Allie Beth Stuckey

Inviting Allie Beth Stuckey, a renowned Christian conservative podcaster, Cooper explores the intersection of faith and women's roles:

• Biblical Perspectives: Stuckey challenges the rigid interpretations of Proverbs 31, arguing that true biblical womanhood extends beyond domestic duties to include contributions to the broader community.

“God wanted them to understand the heart behind his principles... They cared too much about the outward appearance...”
— Allie Beth Stuckey (23:55)

• Rejecting Superficial Standards: She criticizes the superficial application of traditional roles, advocating for a more heartfelt and authentic approach to faith-based womanhood.

Emphasizing Personal Values and Integrity

Central to the episode is the advocacy for living in alignment with personal values:

• Choices Over Compromises: Cooper emphasizes that fulfillment comes from making choices that resonate with one's core values rather than conforming to external pressures.

“Focus on your values and I promise things will turn out all right.”
— Brett Cooper (31:18)

• Rejecting the Myth of "Having It All": She asserts that no one can truly have everything without sacrifices, urging listeners to prioritize what truly matters to them personally.

• Real-Life Examples: Highlighting individuals like Brittany Martinez Hugoboom, Cooper showcases women who have successfully balanced personal passions, love, and family without compromising their values.

Conclusion: Redefining Success for Women Today

Brett Cooper concludes by reiterating that success is subjective and individualized. She urges women to define their own paths based on personal integrity and values, free from societal expectations. Emphasizing that fulfillment comes from authentic living rather than chasing an unattainable ideal, Cooper encourages listeners to prioritize what truly matters in their lives.

Key Takeaways:

1. Authenticity Over Appearance: True fulfillment arises from living authentically in alignment with personal values.
2. Rejecting Unrealistic Ideals: The notion of "having it all" is a flawed concept that sets women up for dissatisfaction.
3. Personal Agency: Women should make choices based on their own desires and values, not societal pressures.
4. Faith and Community: Integrating faith and community contributions can provide a more meaningful sense of purpose.
5. Redefining Success: Success should be individually defined, embracing both personal and professional aspirations without compromise.

Notable Quotes:

• “Megyn Kelly was sort of trying to explain... making choices that are good for you and your values and your family.”
  — Brett Cooper (10:21)

• “Trying to do it all at once... has made me realize that having it all was perhaps not all it was cracked up to be.”
  — Christine Hassler (27:20)

• “Focus on your values and I promise things will turn out all right.”
  — Brett Cooper (31:18)

• “God wanted them to understand the heart behind his principles... They cared too much about the outward appearance...”
  — Allie Beth Stuckey (23:55)

This episode offers a compelling critique of societal expectations placed on women, advocating for a more individualized and value-driven approach to personal and professional fulfillment. By weaving personal anecdotes, expert insights, and historical context, Brett Cooper provides listeners with a nuanced perspective on navigating the complexities of modern womanhood.