Megyn Kelly (9:22)

This woman is accusing Elon of impregnating her and not, I guess, negotiating with her on the care of the child. Or at least not to the point where she's happy with the negotiation. All I can think as I look at this is your life is the way it is because you decided it would be because of your choices. Madam, you can have a swanky New York apartment. You could earn money and actually wind up renting one yourself. You could also find a man who wants to marry you and raise children with you and who won't have other women in his life at the same time. All of this is available to you. You do not have to make a choice where you try to bang the billionaire to get his baby so that he'll put you up in some lavish New York City apartment and take care of you for the rest of his life and then be shocked, shocked when he doesn't actually want to have a relationship with you. And the only way you can maybe get him to respond to you is via tweet. I'm sorry, but again, you made choices. They were Very bad ones.

Brett Cooper (10:21)

I mean, listen, some people don't like Megan. Meghan did not miss here at all. This was completely factual. I say it all the time. Your life is your fault, and that doesn't have to be a negative thing. And right now, Ashley St. Clair is dealing with the consequences of her own actions. Now, she has a beautiful new child, and she's trying to protect this child, but there are consequences to her actions. And what Meghan was trying to say is it didn't need to be this way. She had a career. She was very well connected. I'm sure she was around a lot of men. She could have found somebody who wanted to marry her and raise a family with her, like, she tweeted about for years on end. But that's. That's not how it worked out. And instead, she now has a child with a man who historically, very publicly, has never committed to anyone ever. Like, it's very, very public. He probably knew that going into this situation. And so this tweet that everyone got so riled up about is specifically calling out the fact that she allegedly got this expensive, swanky apartment paid for, that she's being seen and photographed in all of these fancy clothes, you know, like head to toe. Balenciaga is what I've heard, that she acquired that by having a child with this billionaire who won't commit to her or anyone else for that matter. And obviously not being able to contact the father of your child is awful and messy, especially for this innocent child. But this man's history with dating and relationships and parenthood is well on display. And as Megan says, I'm sorry, but this was a choice. And she is also saying, in addition to kind of, you know, that subtweet that dig at Ashley, she is also saying, women, and Ashley, this is not the only option. You have other choices. And Ali Beth Stuckey, who is a good friend of mine, and she is one of the biggest Christian conservative female podcasters, and mother is living proof of that. And so I asked her for her take. Take a listen.

Allie Beth Stuckey (12:00)

You don't have to sacrifice your morals and jump at the opportunity to get in a sexual relationship with a powerful, rich man just because you want to be rich. And I'm not saying that was necessarily Ashley's motivated motivations. I don't think we know that for sure, but I think she was trying to say, women, like, if you want money and you want the ritzy apartment, this is not the way to do it. And it could be possible that you get all of those things One day.

Brett Cooper (12:27)

Now, another great example of this type of woman that you guys might know is Brittany Martinez Hugoboom, who is the founder of EV Magazine. She also runs 28 Wellness, which is the hormone tracking and period tracking app. And she is married to this man that she is deeply in love with, that she has been with since they were young. And she had this idea for a more traditional women's magazine. She wanted this health app because there wasn't anything like that on the market. And she found a way to pursue something that she loved and that she was passionate about and build it with the person that she loved while also being a mother and being very engaged in their life and also finding massive, massive success. And she didn't have to compromise her values in order to do that. And she's not the only example of that. I have so many examples in my personal life on all different scales of success and different lifestyles and different things that they're pursuing. But the common denominator is that they are living in accordance to their values and they're not compromising that at any turn. And finding success obviously does not mean having the lavish, swanky New York City apartment. It can be anything. And that's different for everyone. That is up to you to decide. But that, again, is what Meghan is saying. You can find that success that you want and not compromise your values when it comes to the things that mean the most to you, like marriage and family. You can get the expensive apartment or the nicer house or the great job and not do it through child support. You can get social clout and higher social standing or more opportunities without sleeping your way there, which is what people are alleging that Ashley St. Clair did. So, again, not trying to beat a dead horse here, but you can achieve your dreams and build the life that you want and simultaneously not compromise your values without compromising your belief in traditional family, traditional marriage. And in my mind, this point, this point that Meghan is making is a very clear and objectively good statement for anyone to hear. But as you guys obviously saw from that New York Post article, many did not see it that way. And many thought that she was parroting this idea, this very left wing feminist idea that women can and should have it all. But where did that even come from? And what does that mean? I think we need to understand that before we can circle out this argument. Now, that term, you know, women having it all, can you have it all? Was popularized in 1982 by the longtime Cosmopolitan editor, Helen Gurley Brown. And she wrote a book entitled Having It, Love, Success, Sex and Money, which was basically instructing women at the time how to succeed in the workforce and still balance it all, how to have great romance and a sex life and make all the money and, you know, climb the corporate ladder and do all the things, because she was the Cosmopolitan editor. So that is kind of where this term came from. But she also was not the first one to use that term. As a New York Times article from 2015 acknowledges, the term having it all, at least as it applies to women and work, has a relatively limited pedigree. Ruth Rosen, a scholar who has written extensively on the history of feminism, told me that you can't find much archival evidence of the phrase before the tail end of the 1970s. And even then it wasn't so much a feminist mantra as a marketing pitch directed towards the well heeled, liberated consumer. By 1980, two, years before Brown's book, Joyce Gabriel and Betty Baldwin published Having It A Practical Guide to Managing a Home and a Career. True to its promise, Gabriel and Baldwin's book offers straightforward tips on how a working mother might make the most of her scarce time. So I had to do two things at once, the authors advised, like letting your nail polish set while you blow dry your hair, which, I'm sorry, is the worst advice I have ever heard. Your nail polish will be all in your hair. Or maybe these authors do not have as much hair as I do, because that would be a recipe for disaster. Anyway, that was just an aside, but they go on and they say women's magazines and Madison Avenue might have been selling the concept, but it was after Brown's book landed on the bestseller list, Rosen said, that the phrase gathered real cultural momentum, becoming a shorthand for having kids and a career. So as you heard from there, the phrase took off. And as they wrote, being shorthand for children and a career and doing everything perfectly and having all the things and having all the success that you want with no compromises whatsoever, because you're a woman and you deserve to have it all. But the thing that is so ironic about this entire story is that Helen didn't even want Having it All to be the title. And she famously did not have children. She was not a mother. She did not even believe that children would fit into her framework of what success looks like for women and the instruction that she was giving to these young women. New York Times goes on, and they say there is then no small absurdity in the fact that Brown's vision omitted children. Only six of the 462 pages of having et al mention them. And Brown has a hard time disguising her suspicion that children aren't so seamlessly integrated into her program. Admitting her own lack of first hand knowledge on the subject, she quotes several of her time starved mother friends as authorities and sounds mildly flummox that anyone would willingly undertake such an endeavor. Here we go. This is where it all came from, ladies and gentlemen. This is the beginning of the end of, you know, girl bossing. That's where it all started. Quote, isn't that a hard sell if you ever heard one? So it's so funny to me because this whole ideology, this whole girl boss push, the things that my mom dealt with in the 80s that she had to push back against when so many of her friends and her siblings were gawking at her for being a stay at home mom, for saying, yeah, I don't really know if I want this career, I just want to be a mother. This, this ideology is what she was pushing back against. And it's so ironic because we know it to kind of include motherhood and be about balancing motherhood, but it actually excluded motherhood from the get go. And we sort of just assumed that it would fit in, which only set up women for decades of problems, in my opinion, because from there came the belief that women needed to have it all and that actually it was our government and men that were holding us back. Like we, we can't have it all because of the patriarchy, because men have all of these expectations of us. And we can't have it all because the government won't allow every single woman, no matter your age, no matter how far along you are, to get an abortion. We just created all of these issues that were keeping women back from having it all, which, spoiler alert, you're gonna see, none of that is actually real. So now, decades later, we are in 2025, long after this book was published, long after this phrase was coined, and this entire idea of women having it all has fallen apart. We know now that it was a sham. This is one of the reasons why so many women have turned their back on feminism. I mean, the feminists are no longer merging. I literally, when I was putting this episode together, I had to look up and even see if there was a women's march that happened over Trump's inauguration because there has been no outrage whatsoever. I mean, they are defeated. Women are tired, they have lost their gusto. They are not interested in this girl boss rallying cry anymore. You know, lean in. Feminism has been expended. It's done. That is why these trad aesthetics and creators like Ballerina Farm are going viral. Because women want something different. It is a response to what began in 1982 and women are done, they're exhausted, they're looking for something else. They want something different because they know that this having it all idea isn't real and it doesn't work. And all this has done has breed a generation and a type of woman who is anxious and angry and resentful and entitled and not fulfilled in the slightest. Which was expertly summed up in this piece by Christine Hassler, who is a motivational speaker and an author. Because after years of trying to do it all and believing this lie and feeling less than for not being able to, she said that she learned that by trying to do it all at once. She was not doing anything at the level of 100% effort or enjoyment. She said there was simply too much to do and accomplish to feel 100% about anything other than my stress level. So in my 30s, when each item on my checklist that I accomplished did not create a sense of fulfillment or relief, but rather more longing, I could not deny that having it all was perhaps not all it was cracked up to be. I looked at women who seemingly had it all and I noticed that so many of them were so tired and overburdened that they didn't seem to be enjoying anything. And when I looked at women who nurtured their natural preferences and their abilities and made choices to support those rather than chasing all of the shoulds in life, they seemed peaceful and actually quite happy. And these women seemed far more feminine to me. I mean, mic drop moment. That is the mic drop moment of this entire episode. It's almost like nature has been telling us these things all along. Just like it's been telling us that American grass fed beef is obviously best. And you would know that if you bought from Good ranchers. Now, since 2017, over 140,000 family farms in the US have shut down. And why, you would ask? Well, it's because a lot of the meat in grocery stores isn't coming from American farms anymore. It is imported from overseas, where mass production and low costs take priority over true quality. And this spring we need to change that. And you can do that with Good Ranchers. It is time to spring into action and put American farms first. Because nothing beats American quality. And that is why I love goodranchers.com Good Ranchers puts family values first, just like you do, just like I do. And their meat is born Raised and harvested right here in the USA from local family farms. So you know exactly where your meat is coming from. And I promise it's coming from happy cows. It is free from hidden additives, no antibiotics ever, no added hormones, no seed oils, just simple, trustworthy ingredients that you can feel good about feeding your family. And they really make life easier by making sure that these products are delivered straight to your door. No last minute grocery runs, no long lines, or wondering if you're getting the best quality. With goodranchers.com, everything you need to create delicious meals for you and your family are just a click away. And@goodranchers.com, you can also check out my exclusive Brett Cooper box. You'll be able to try my handpicked selections that Alex and I eat throughout the week, our favorite Good Ranchers products, while also supporting my show and directly supporting American Ranchers. So if you want to check that out, just go to goodranchers.com Brett to shop my box today. And if all of that doesn't convince you, right now, Good Ranchers is running their Spring into Action promotion where if you subscribe to any of their boxes, but preferably, obviously the Brett Cooper box, you will get free bacon, ground beef seed oil, free chicken nuggets or salmon in every single order for a year. That is free beat for a year. You'll get to pick which one you want. Plus you will get $40 off when you use my code Brett at checkout. That is high quality, clean protein in every order delivered to your door for free for an entire year. To spring into action and help American family farms with every purchase, visit goodranchers.com today. And don't forget to use my code Brett to claim your free meat and $40 off. All right, so now you guys might be wondering how all of this, this whole history lesson on leaning in and having it all in feminism, how all of of this relates back to what we talked about at the top of this episode, to Megyn Kelly and her tweet about Ashley St. Clair or about conservative traditional women in general. And again, to jog your memory, this outdated idea of having it all, this feminist left wing idea is what people on the right were accusing Megyn Kelly of parroting because they now have their own ideas of what is right for women, about what women should be doing. And many of them not only believe that women shouldn't try to have it all and that they're not entitled to that and that it doesn't work, but that they should only focus on Being in the home, being in the kitchen, being a wife and mother, because that is what is morally and biblically right. These are the types of people who look at creators like me and Megyn Kelly and even Allie Beth Stuckey and say that we are the lingering results of feminism, that we are still a net negative on society because we are women who work. And I obviously brought that up to Ali Beth because she deals with that a lot, especially on X. And this is how she examines that in response to this.

Allie Beth Stuckey (23:08)

There is a subset of people on the right who would say that women should not be fighting culture wars at all. They should not have any work that takes them outside of the home. That means that they're an undercover girl boss feminist that is leading everyone else into girl boss feminism. We are talking about words. We're not talking about physical prowess. When it comes to talking, that's actually something that women traditionally are pretty good at and something that is that God can equip women to do at particular times. So I'm not out there trying to wage any wars. I am trying to use, to the best of my ability, one of the capabilities that God has given me and to steward that well, to say something that is true and hopefully to give him glory. And I think all women and men are called to do that in a variety of ways.

Brett Cooper (23:55)

And as Ellie Beth brought up just a couple seconds later, it is actually a very new idea that women should solely focus on being in the home or being in the kitchen.

Allie Beth Stuckey (24:03)

Men and women have contributed to their same household economy through a variety of ways for a really long time. I think it's actually very new, this idea that in order to be a Proverbs 31 woman or a biblical mom, that that literally only means being in the kitchen. I think being in the kitchen is great. I love all of it. I love domestic things. But having the home and the family, being the center of a family economy doesn't always just mean cleaning and cooking.

Brett Cooper (24:30)

Now, if you guys have been watching me for a while, then you probably know that I was not raised in the most religious home. I was not raised in the most Christian home. But, you know, Ali Beth's point makes a lot of sense. And so, you know, after talking with her, I made my way on over to my Bible to take a look. And it's ironic that so many of these people online, these critics of women, these critics of me and Ali Beth and Megyn Kelly and all the other women that you see and that you might listen to, that these critics use Proverbs 31 to instruct women on their place in the home and out of the public sphere, because it seems as though they missed the part where the Bible says that the woman, the wife, considers a field and buys it out of her earnings and she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously. Her arms are strong for her tactics. She sees that her trading is profitable and that her lamp does not go out at night. At another point it reads, her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the merchants with sashes. And that she speaks with wisdom and grace and that she is respected by the community. She is not just contributing to her home and her family, but she is contributing to the community at large. And that is what Ali Beth is arguing that a lot of these people are missing. And so basically the argument that I am now making in this episode with you guys is that basically it seems like everyone seems to have these ideas and the opinions on what the perfect life is for women in 2025. I mean, the left has parroted one idea for years. At this point, we are all well accustomed to it, and it didn't work. Women were not fulfilled by trying to juggle it all while primarily focusing on their careers. And this idea was pushed and started by women who actually didn't want to have families in the first place. So obviously it wasn't going to work. They weren't juggling it in the first place. And now we're dealing with the political right that has this new idea for women that really isn't rooted in historical truth. Maybe we should get into that in another episode that could be interesting. But it's also an idea and a structure that is not attainable for many women, especially in this economy and in the dating landscape. And also in Ali Beth's mind, she says that this is pushing a standard that Jesus himself did not set.

Allie Beth Stuckey (26:24)

Take a listen the online trend of saying that in order to be a biblical woman, your life has to look like this. Specifically, it has to look like this aesthetic, this kind of homesteading, this many hours at home. These kinds of jobs are okay, but these kinds of jobs are not okay. The outlines that are not in Scripture, I think that places a burden on women to reach a particular standard that Jesus did not set. But if you truly look at Jesus's interactions with Pharisees, the problem wasn't that they were too religious or that they were too holy, but it's that they did not understand the heart of God's law. They cared too much about the outward appearance and these arbitrary standards, some of which they had come up with themselves, that were completely outside of scripture. And God wanted them to understand the heart behind his principles. A lot of what I see in this trad world is really only about the superficial. And that's never going to change someone's heart or life for the better.

Brett Cooper (27:20)

And so now all of this, this idea of has grown to a magnitude where women online are shamed and mocked if they don't fit into these standards. And it kind of reminds me of how the left would mock women who made the choice to stay at home. Like my mom was mocked 30 years ago, the way that I was mocked when I was 15 years old and told my best friend that I desperately wanted to have kids one day. And she gawked because she said that I was ruining any shot I had at ever having a career, finding any kind of fulfillment outside of the home. I mean, it is like a never, never ending cycle and it is so exhausting. And in my mind, we are completely focusing on the wrong things. And we actually should go back to what Megan said and maybe take a closer listen to what she was trying to communicate. Because in my eyes, what I want to be focusing on, but I think that everyone should be focusing on man or woman, regardless of your age or your situation, is living a life that is in accordance with your values, whatever they may be. And that is up to you to decide. I obviously have the ones that I live my life by that I think are more correct and healthy. But again, at the end of the day, that's up to you and it's important to focus on that and then also focus on not compromising those values for immediate gratification or material success. Because at the end of the day, when we all fall asleep at night, it's only us that we have to contend with. At the end of our lives, when we look back, we have to know that we had integrity with ourselves and that we lived a life of principles rather than cheapening ourselves or trying to fit in boxes set by other people who don't know our individual situations, literally do not know us at all. Because that personal integrity, being honest with yourself and living in accordance with your values, that is fulfillment. Sleeping your way to success, that's not fulfillment. Trying to juggle having it all and prioritizing a career when really that's not what you want, but you're just trying to do it because women told you that that is what you should want. And that you should be doing that, that will not provide fulfillment. As Christine Hassler explained, chasing an aesthetic of traditional womanhood that you see on X because people are telling you that that is what you should want, also will not bring fulfillment because it's not coming from you. And also, finally, I'm kind of running out of breath here, but this is probably the most important point in the entire video, is that no one, no one on this earth is going to be able to have it all. That is simply not realistic. And it's not just a female issue. That goes for men as well. Life is made up of dreams and reality and sacrifices and priorities. And you do not get everything you want in the exact way that you want at the time that you want. There might be things that you want and you'll get them later in life. I think about my mother in law who I just adore, who sacrificed so much of her career to raise my husband and his siblings, put her career on hold. You know, she worked part time, she did other things, but she sacrificed success that other people were getting at a younger age. And now in her 60s, now that her kids are grown, that they're in their 30s, she has a career that she absolutely adores, that she loves. In this like third act of her life, she is so, so happy and is so successful. But she didn't get it when everybody else was or when they told her that she should be getting it. And that okay, because your timeline does not need to be everyone else's. You just need to be living in accordance with your values and what you believe to be good and correct. And that will inevitably require sacrifices and it will require prioritizing what you believe to be important. For example, if you want that 9 to 5 job, if you want to climb the corporate ladder and that's what you want to focus on. I'm sorry, but you probably will not be able to have eight kids and be as engaged as other mothers who don't work or have more focus, flexible jobs or work part time things or work from home or whatever. It may be just as if you want to have eight children, there are things in your life and career that you will have to sacrifice and say no to. And that if you want to be that very engaged mother to all eight of your children and spend those years of your life having children and raising them, you probably won't be able to have the nine to five. And of course that does not mean that your life is going to be bad by any means. I'm not saying that at all. But it might not be perfect. It might not be having it all or exactly how you envisioned in your perfect dream world. And that's normal. That is just part of real life. And Allie Beth actually wrote an entire book based on this idea that, you know, you're not enough, and that's okay. And in our interview, she said this.

Allie Beth Stuckey (31:18)

One of the chapters of my book youk're Not Enough is you're not entitled to youo Dreams. And I was kind of raised believing some prosperity gospel things, that if I do this, if I pray for this, if I ask this in the right way, then God definitely will give me the kind of success that I want. And I still see that believe among a lot of people that if I like, say this basic, like, incantation, do xyz, then I will finally get the relationship and the job that I want. But none of those things are guaranteed. We are not entitled to the things that we desire. You may never have it all. You may have a lot, and there are a lot of things that you can be grateful for. And it's okay to want a lot of things as long as they're like righteous desires. But no, we're never guaranteed to have everything. And that's okay.

Brett Cooper (32:04)

And in addition to that, she continuously emphasized, I think that this, this is so important that the values and the principles of your life must always be the driver.

Allie Beth Stuckey (32:12)

I will always say, pursuing money for the sake of money, pursuing fame for the sake of fame, pursuing power for the sake of power is never going to end well. So decide what you are going to pursue. If you pursue godly things, like if you pursue the family and a stable marriage, those other things may get thrown in, and that may be great. But I promise, if you pursue money and you pursue power for the sake of those things, you will not also get the stable family thrown in. So it's just a matter of what you want to prioritize and pursue and let God take care of the material stuff.

Brett Cooper (32:51)

So the point of all of this, the point of this entire episode, what I've been talking about for the last 30 plus minutes, all of this was to say that, number one, Megyn Kelly was not attacking you. She was not attacking women or men for that matter. And I see, personally, I see her tweet as a form of empowerment. She wasn't telling you that you can and should have it all and that you must go do it all and you must go get that apartment and you must do everything the way that she has done it. But she's saying that if there are things that you dream of and that you hope for that you see happening in your life, you do not have to compromise the things that you say are your core principles to get there, which is at the time what we were seeing unfold on social media. And then secondly what I wanted to talk about, and this is for women more specifically, there are a lot of people right now telling us who to be and who we are and what we should do and how we should be defined and what is right for us. And at the end of the day, that is up to you and your family and your principles to decide because like with every single human being on planet earth, you will have to prioritize and sacrifice and say no and then take risks. But that doesn't mean that you won't have a full life no matter what people online say. So focus on you, focus on your values and I promise things will turn out all right.