The Brett Cooper Show: "Cardi B’s Trial Is Unhinged (in the Best Way)"

Air Date: September 1, 2025
Host: Brett Cooper

Episode Overview

In this episode, Brett Cooper dives into the spectacle of Cardi B’s current $24 million trial, using it as a lens to examine broader themes of celebrity court cases, the court system's susceptibility to exploitation, and cultural trends driving these public legal battles. The discussion is light-hearted, funny, and peppered with Brett’s own pregnancy-fueled personal anecdotes, as well as the host’s evolving (and somewhat reluctant) fandom for Cardi B after witnessing the rapper’s unfiltered courtroom candor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Contemporary Celebrity Trials: A Cultural Mirror

• Brett begins by contrasting the Cardi B trial with other recent headline-making celebrity cases (e.g., Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard, Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski trial, and the ongoing Blake Lively-Justin Baldoni dispute) ([00:00]).

  • Insight: While many of these cases claim a moral or social justice undertone (e.g., #MeToo), Brett argues the root often lies in “greed” and the desire to profit or destroy reputations.

  • Quote:

    "At the root of it, I think that it's anger, it's greed, and it's wanting to destroy somebody's reputation for your own gain." – Brett ([03:05])

2. Cardi B’s Case: Absurdity & Entertainment Value

• Cardi B is being sued for $24 million by Imani Ellis, a security guard, for an alleged altercation at her OB-GYN’s office back in 2018 ([05:10]).

  • Details include Cardi trying to keep her pregnancy private, the security guard allegedly filming her, and a delayed lawsuit and treatment for a minor facial scratch.

  • Brett highlights the lengthy timeline (incident in 2018, lawsuit in 2020, treatment in 2022) as “suspicious” and suggests a financial motive.

  • Quote:

    "For $24 million, I should see like a gash the size of an axe in your cheek." – Brett ([08:36])

3. The Testimony: Trauma Claims & Physical Evidence

• The security guard claims PTSD, anxiety, and insomnia, supposedly caused by Cardi’s actions and a barely visible facial scar.

  • Brett reads Ellis’s courtroom testimony detailing alleged verbal abuse, slurs, and threats from Cardi B ([07:00]).

  • Brett lampoons the (to her mind) exaggerated emotional and physical damages, noting the scar is minuscule.

  • Quote:

    "Insomnia, anxiety and post traumatic Stress from a verbal, possibly physical altercation with Cardi B that gave her a scar." – Brett ([09:14])

4. Cardi B on the Witness Stand: Unfiltered & Hilarious

• Brett shares and reacts to several courtroom exchanges between Cardi, the plaintiff’s lawyer (Ron Rosen), and the judge that went viral for their comedic value.

  a. On Insults and Fighting ([11:27]):

  • Notable Quote:

    B (Lawyer): "Did you call her fat?"
    C (Cardi B): "No, I was calling her a bitch."
    – ([11:32])

  • Brett laughs at the “mic drop” moment, noting Cardi’s defiance and self-assurance.

  b. On Pregnancy as Disability ([12:58]):

  • Notable Quote:

    B: "Are you disabled?"
    C: "Yes or no, at that moment when you're pregnant? I'm very disabled. You want me to tell you things I can't do?"
    – ([13:06])

  • Brett relates, given her own pregnancy:

    "It is a disability that is only made better thanks to my Cozy Earth pajamas." – Brett ([13:14])

  c. On the Lawyer’s Bizarre Questioning ([16:45], [17:47], [18:35]):

  • The lawyer's lines of questioning become increasingly absurd, touching on Cardi’s hair, wigs, nails, and possible abilities to “fight” while pregnant.

  • Notable Exchanges:

    • On Concern:

      C: "I was more on a high level of concerned. Very concerned."
      B: "And why were you concerned?"
      C: "Because I'm pregnant and this girl's about to beat my ass. Hello."
      – ([16:56–17:03])

    • On Hair:

      B: "Yesterday you had black hair, short hair. Today it's blonde and long. Which one is your real hair? Or are they both real?"
      C: "They're wigs."
      – ([17:47–18:01])

    • On Nails:

      B: "If I wanted you to change them to three inch nails, how long would it take for you to do that right now?"
      C: "Well, it really depends. Like, these… these are, like, glued on, so they will be a little bit quicker. Sometimes I do acrylic, which could last me on for two weeks. I will literally have to take, like, two hours to melt them off if they're acrylically on."
      – ([18:35–19:05])

  • Brett draws a parallel between the plaintiff’s lawyer and sitcom attorneys, calling him “straight out of Better Call Saul or It's Always Sunny.”

  • Quote:

    "Does this man even know what she's saying? Does he know anything about Cardi B in the first place?" – Brett ([17:11])

5. Larger Point: Legal System as Spectacle and Shakedown

• Brett threads these anecdotes into a broader critique: celebrity trials are often used to “shake down” wealthy figures for cash under dramatic or fraudulent pretenses.

  • Connecting Cardi’s trial back to others (Johnny Depp, Baldwin-Lively), Brett argues the motivator is more often personal vendetta and greed than justice.
  • Quote:

    "At the end of the day, that is still what is happening there. It is anger, it is bitterness, it is greed. It is wanting revenge. And it is so blatantly obvious." – Brett ([21:19])

• She comically suggests streaming services should get in on broadcasting such trials as reality TV, given their entertainment value ([20:41]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “For $24 million, I should see like a gash the size of an axe in your cheek.” – Brett ([08:36])
• “Did you call her fat? ... No, I was calling her a bitch.” – Cardi B ([11:27–11:34])
• “Yes or no, at that moment when you're pregnant? I'm very disabled.” – Cardi B ([13:06])
• “Because I'm pregnant and this girl's about to beat my ass. Hello.” – Cardi B ([16:56–17:03])
• “They're wigs.” – Cardi B ([17:58–18:01])
• “If I wanted you to change them to three inch nails, how long would it take for you to do that right now?” ... “Well, it really depends. Like, these...these are, like, glued on, so they will be a little bit quicker.” – Lawyer & Cardi B ([18:35–19:05])
• “Does this man even know what she's saying? Does he know anything about Cardi B in the first place?” – Brett ([17:11])
• “This should be a Netflix special.” – Brett ([20:41])
• “At the end of the day…it is about greed. It is about bitterness.” – Brett ([21:19])

Segment Timestamps

• 00:00–05:00 — Discussion of recent celebrity court cases and underlying motives
• 05:00–10:00 — Cardi B’s trial background, incident timeline, and reading from the security guard’s testimony
• 11:27–13:13 — Cardi B on the stand: insults, allegations, and pregnancy
• 16:45–19:05 — Bizarre and hilarious courtroom exchanges (concern, hair, nails)
• 20:41–21:40 — Streaming services and court cases as entertainment
• 21:19–22:00 — Final take: greed and legal shakedowns as the real heart of celebrity court trials

Tone & Style

• Brett is irreverent, witty, and self-deprecating (frequent references to her own pregnancy, filming from her bedroom).
• The analysis mixes pop culture savvy with skepticism toward the tabloid spectacle.
• Brett expresses candid admiration for Cardi B’s unfiltered humor and honesty, even joking about switching allegiances from her friend Candace Owens.
• The episode is lively, laugh-out-loud funny in parts, and accessible even to those who haven’t followed the trial.

Conclusion

This episode spotlights the absurdities of celebrity litigation, with Cardi B’s trial serving as both a cautionary tale about the motivations fueling such lawsuits and a source of meme-worthy entertainment. Brett ties the spectacle back to deeper issues—celebrity culture, litigiousness, and public appetite for courtroom drama—while delighting in Cardi B’s candid, unfiltered approach. At its heart, the show asks listeners to question what these trials really reveal about our values and the modern court of public opinion.