The Brett Cooper Show
Episode 147: Reacting to UNWELL Throuples
Date: March 7, 2026
Host: Brett Cooper
Episode Overview
In episode 147, Brett Cooper takes a critical look at the rising trend of throuples and polyamorous relationships gaining visibility in pop culture and social media. She analyzes how these arrangements are framed as empowering by their participants—particularly focusing on women—and evaluates whether this narrative aligns with the reality depicted both in memoirs and public discourse. Through case studies involving public figures like Lindy West, Aspen Ovard, and Camryn Turner, Brett questions whether the normalization of non-monogamous arrangements is truly a sign of generational progress or instead a symptom of instability and insecurity.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Push to Normalize Throuples and Polyamory
[00:30]
- Brett immediately establishes her skepticism of efforts to normalize throuples:
“It is beyond time to stop trying to make throuples happen. It is odd, objectively. It is weird and just across the board. We need to stop excusing people’s bad decisions in the name of empowerment because that is really what’s happening here.”
- She notes confusion and complexity in these relationship structures, joking about needing a whiteboard to keep track.
2. Dissecting the Lindy West Story
[03:00–16:45]
- Background: Lindy West, a prominent feminist writer, originally promoted a narrative of body acceptance and unconventional romance, culminating in marriage and career success.
- Revelation: In her new memoir and New York Times interview, West admits her “happily ever after” involved acquiescing to an open marriage as a condition for marrying her husband (“She agreed to something that she is uncomfortable with because she doesn’t want to lose him.” [07:15]).
- Brett’s critique:
“Lindy, your husband was saying that you weren’t good enough alone and he only agreed to marry you if he could also not just have sex with but also fall in love and be in a relationship with somebody else. That is insane. Get a dog. Dogs are more loyal.” [10:20]
- Brett questions West’s claim that this arrangement is empowering, calling attention to the contradiction between West’s public persona and her private struggles.
- Body Image & Self-Worth: Direct quote from Lindy West highlights her vulnerability:
“I had always been kind of lonely and single and sad and yearning and growing up in a fat body. People will tell you that no one will ever love you unless you fix your body. And then being a very visible woman on the Internet, strangers are just telling you that every day and there’s all this baggage around it...” [14:50]
- Online & Media Reaction:
“People online at large think that this is utterly depressing and that she is lying to herself. And I would have to agree.” [17:02]
- Notable comment Brett shares:
“Anything sexual or romantic that initially makes you cry and feel intense dread is probably not for you and you shouldn’t do it.” [09:10, quoting Cartoons Hate Her]
3. The Narrative Disconnect: Empowerment vs. Reality
[17:40–20:45]
- Brett plays clips from West’s documentary where West describes never feeling “cherished” or “wanted,” often feeling like “trash.”
- Critique:
“She is out there essentially on an island all by herself, crying about how she has felt unwanted and unloved for her entire life, hence why she had to settle for this open marriage.” [18:50]
- Brett notes the contradiction between the progressive messaging and the visible unhappiness.
4. Media & Public Pushback: Other Examples
[21:00–23:20]
- Brett references a review of a similar memoir (“More” by Molly Roden Winter), pointing out reviewers’ tendency to frame manipulative or distressing open marriages as “sexy and empowering” despite authors’ admitted unhappiness (Quote from the Atlantic journalist:
“...the ugly truth is that More feels like a 290 page cry for help…” [21:50]).
- Critical observation of cultural tendencies to dress up coping with trauma or insecurity as progressivism.
5. The “Weaponization” of Progressive Narratives
[24:10]
- A highlighted X (Twitter) post:
“Mostly what I’m struck by in regards to Lindy is that…all these people have recreated some of the most regressive structures that they once railed against, just kind of rebranded them…He, her husband, treats being polyamorous as if it’s a completely immutable part of himself that she must accept.”
6. The Aspen Ovard Case: Seeking Attention and Community
[27:00–32:30]
- Background: Aspen Ovard, a former family vlogger, shifted from traditional motherhood vlogs to publicizing nontraditional relationships post-divorce.
- Progression:
- Declared bisexuality, began dating women, then joined a throuple with a married couple (Bri and her husband), making their lives public on TikTok.
- Audience reactions shift from support to concern; many accuse her of seeking attention at the expense of her children’s stability.
- Aspen expresses feelings of social isolation:
“I have nobody to invite to my daughter’s birthday party. I feel so lonely…” [31:50]
- Friendship Fallout: Brett highlights Aspen’s falling out with influencer friend Alison Kutch, speculated to be over new relationship boundaries and discomfort with polyamory.
7. The Pattern of Instability: Camryn Turner (Cam and Fam)
[33:00–36:00]
- Background: Another YouTuber who went from family vlogging to suffering major personal tragedy (husband’s suicide), then came out as trans, and most recently, entered a throuple.
- Audience reaction: Concern and skepticism about the stability and genuine happiness behind these decisions, especially relating to children.
8. Overarching Observations
- Brett argues the common thread between all highlighted stories is insecurity and personal instability, reframed as empowerment.
- She lambasts the tendency to “project” happiness and health onto arrangements that more likely serve as coping mechanisms.
- Notable quote (paraphrasing a comment):
“Polyamory was called being a douche back in my day. But so many women fell for the rebranding for the sake of fighting heteronormative culture. This is the sad result.” [24:50]
- Brett's closing thought:
“The through line really here in all of these stories is insecurity and instability… none of them are happy. None of them are demonstrating stable, well adjusted people and families…” [36:27]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Lindy West’s Marriage Origin
“Her now husband is saying, hey, I’ve been divorced twice and it’s because I’m possessive and jealous. Monogam, instead of him taking responsibility… He was like, actually, you need to adjust and I need to be able to sleep with whoever I want… and Lindy, she went along with it.” [06:40]
- On the Futility of Coping via Polyamory
“You are dating double the normal amount of people and you still feel lonely. And yet you’re telling us how amazing this arrangement is.” [32:10]
- On Gender/Racial Justification
“Her husband… really convinced this overweight, desperate, sad, lived out woman that he could not be monogamous in their marriage because as a man of color, that was simply a system of oppression and she just didn’t understand because of her skin color. Like guys. I just like, cannot.” [25:00]
- On Audience Skepticism
“All three of these stories are different, but they are similar in that none of them are happy. None of them are demonstrating stable, well adjusted people and families.” [36:27]
Important Timestamps
- 00:30 – Brett’s opening thesis: the issue with normalizing throuples
- 03:00–16:45 – The Lindy West case study (memoir revelation, open marriage, audience reaction)
- 17:40–20:45 – Analysis of documentary footage and public critique
- 21:00–23:20 – The “More” memoir, parallels in polyamorous narratives, public reaction
- 24:10 – “Weaponizing” progressive frameworks to justify husband’s desires
- 27:00–32:30 – Aspen Ovard: from family vlogging to influencer throuple, attention, and consequences
- 33:00–36:00 – Cam and Fam: instability, personal tragedies, and moving into polyamory
- 36:27 – Closing arguments on insecurity and cultural reactions
Summary Flow
Brett Cooper frames the episode with skepticism and humor, unpacking the complex web of public relationships that claim empowerment but reveal emotional distress, instability, and a deep sense of insecurity beneath the surface. She threads together high-profile examples to argue that the movement to normalize throuples and polyamory is more about personal malaise and societal confusion than true progress. Brett consistently links individual anecdotes to broader cultural trends, emphasizing a recurring disconnect between public narratives and private reality, and finds solace in the fact that online audiences remain largely unconvinced by the purported empowerment such relationships bring.
For listeners seeking a nuanced, critical, and at times caustic take on throuple culture and the polyamory discourse, this episode delivers pointed analysis, sharp wit, and a survey of online reactions anchored in real-world details.