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Guys, it is beyond time to stop trying to make throuples happen. It is odd, objectively. It is weird and just across the board. We need to stop excusing people's bad decisions in the name of empowerment because that is really what's happening here. Now I wish I had my whiteboard over in the new studio because keeping track of these delusional women and their exes and their partners and their partner's girlfriends and their partner's husbands like it is confusing. Nevertheless, I will persevere. And today we are going to break down the specific types of women who find themselves in these relationships and how society at large scale still feels hesitant to normalize these relationships. Thank God it means there is a tiny little bit of sanity left in the world. Polyamory might just be people's line in the sand. Now before I put on my psychoanalyst hat, if you want farm vlogs, conversations about motherhood and family life, cookie reviews, all of that sort of thing, that is all over at my subscription platform, which you can find@cooperconfidential.com, we built it from the ground up just for you guys. Nobody can de platform us. Nobody can tell me what to say on there. So that is the home for all things exclusive. Brett Cooper. All right, so first up in breaking this down, we have the insecure women who are so desperate for love and approval that a man is essentially able to groom her into being okay with polygamy. And that is the story that is really going viral on social media right now and why I decided to do this episode in the first place. And it all revolves around somebody named Lindy west and her new memoir and a New York Times interview that is breaking the Internet this week. So if you don't know if you were not privy to the feminist girl boss Buzzfeed era of like to 2016, that is really where Lindy west came up. She is a pretty famous writer in this liberal ecosystem. Her claim to fame was her 2016 memoir, which was later turned into a Hulu TV show called Shrill. And the entire premise of that was her journey to find love and success without having to conform to orthodox society, AKA losing weight. She is a body positive feminist liberal writer, and she wanted to prove to the world that she could find her happily ever after, become successful and famous and rich and all those things without having to conform to skinny society. And at the end of that book, and therefore at the end of the TV show, she seemingly got her happy ending. She proved to everyone that you did not have to be skinny to thrive. She was a successful writer and a creative and an artist. She married her best friend. What was not to love. So that all happened in 2016. Now, 10 years later, we're getting a little more insight into her story because Lindy left out one pretty damning detail about that happily ever after. This man, her husband, only married her because she agreed to an open marriage and she told no one. And so now in her new memoir, ten years later in this New York Times article that is promoting that memoir, she is apparently finally ready to talk about it. And you might be thinking, oh my gosh, this is so interesting. Like, thank God she got out of that situation. She must have realized what was going on. Did she realize how awful and oppressive that was? No, of course not, guys. No. She's telling us it's empowering. Ten years later, she's revealing the truth and she's saying, actually, it's really wonderful. So the headline reads, lindy west thought she could handle polyamory. She was. The writer reluctantly agreed to a non monogamous marriage. But the way she felt about her husband's new girlfriend completely surprised her. Oh, boy, here we go. Now, like I said, Lindy completely omitted this little detail of her arrangement when she made millions and millions of dollars selling their modern body positive love story back in 2016. But the reality of their marriage was much darker because at her lowest point, I think this was in 2011, 2012, after her father had died, who she was really close with. After she and her now husband were going through a breakup, her now husband apparently came to her and said, we should get back together. But there a caveat. Now, in the New York Times interview, she said this. So she responds to a question and she says, yes. So we briefly broke up in 2011. It was a bad time. My dad died. It was horrible. A tree fell on my house. Then we got back together. But part of that was, ahem, being like, I've been divorced twice by age 27, so already red flag. And I feel like possessiveness and jealousy had a lot to do with both of those relationships collapsing. I don't think monogamy is Healthy for me. Okay, so first of all, there's so many things we need to unpack in this. So first of all, her now husband is saying, hey, I've been divorced twice and it's because I'm possessive and I'm jealous. Monogam, instead of him taking responsibility, accountability, being like, I was an asshole, I cheated, I was jealous, whatever, I'm gonna work on that. He was like, actually, you need to adjust and I need to be able to sleep with whoever I want because I just can't control myself. And Lindy, she went along with it. She went along with it. But just imagine where she's at in life right now. Like, she's lost one of the most important people in her life. She is alone, arguably at her lowest, and the person that she loves, that she wants to marry and be with, drops a bomb and says, I don't want monogamy. And I'm sure in her mind she's freaking out because she does. She doesn't wanna lose somebody else in her life. So what brought them back together? How do they end up together now? Well, she agreed to go along with it. The interviewer asked, was it presented as some sort of like, we can get back together if we are not monogamous, Was it like a conditional thing? And she responds and she says, yes, basically. And so from there, as she is retelling the story, she says that she breaks down, she was crying, she was desperate, and she agrees to something that she is uncomfortable with because she doesn't wanna lose him, hoping the day that he meets somebody else never comes, that she will never have to deal with it, that this is just an idea, but it will never become her reality. But it does. And this is how she described what happened when she found out. She responds to the interviewer and says, I think it felt like I was losing him, which I think was probably her biggest fear. But I was just determined to win. I was like, you're being crazy. I'm the greatest person alive because I also have high self esteem in addition to low self esteem. I let myself be angry in every possible direction, which was actually cathartic. Yeah, no shit, it felt good. No shit, you'd feel angry and of course it would impact your self esteem. Cartoons Hate her, who is an account on ex and one of my favorite substackers. And she was posting about Lindy and said, I know she eventually came around, but I feel like anything sexual or romantic that initially makes you cry and feel intense dread is probably not for you and you shouldn't do it. Yeah, like that. Common sense folks. That's the lesson we should take from this moment in the episode. If you feel immense dread and worry, you should walk away. Lindy, your husband was saying that you weren't good enough alone and he only agreed to marry you if he could also not just have sex with but also fall in love and be in a relationship with somebody else. That is insane. Get a dog. Dogs are more loyal. Now speaking of, when it comes to our dogs, why does it seem like there is always a compromise when it comes to their food? I mean it is either fresh and healthy, maybe raw or it's easy to store and serve. And that is why Alex and I love Sundae for Dogs. Because after years of literally hand making raw food, like imagine me and my mom Diane with a commercial meat grinder making all this raw food. We didn't want to sacrifice quality for our dogs. But we were exhausted by the process and the mess and the freezer space that it took up in our life. And that is what led us to Sunday for Dogs. Now Sundaes was founded by Dr. Tony White Waxman who was a vet who got tired of seeing the so called premium dog food brands just be chock full of fillers and synthetics. So she designed Sundaes which is air dried real food made in human grade kitchens using the same ingredients and care that you would use to cook for yourself and your family. Every bite for your dogs is clean, packed with real meat, fruits and vegetables, no weird ingredients and no fillers. Now compared to Kibble or other brands on the market, Sundaes invests 50 times more in its ingredients for true premium quality. No cost cutting and just the cherry on top is that you just have to scoop and serve. No freezer, no thawing, no prep, no mess. Just nutrient rich food that fuels the happiest and healthiest day for your dogs. So make the switch to Sundays today. Go right now to sundaysfordogs.com Brett50 and you will get 50% off your first order. Or you can just use code Brett50 at checkout. Again that is 50% off your first order at Sundays for dogs.com Brett50 and while some people might say that higher education is outdated and irrelevant in 2026, I disagree. Not when it is purpose driven education. And that is why I'm so proud that this show is sponsored by Grand Canyon University which is an affordable private, nonprofit Christian university based in the beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. Now GCU does not settle for average their industry driven programs to move at the speed of relevance with practical skills, career readiness, and opportunity for every single student. They are recognized for excellence in both academics and campus life. GCU's vibrant, welcoming campus was ranked in the top 20 best college campuses in the country by Niche.com for 2026. And what I really love about GCU is that they believe education should not be a privilege, but an affordable and practical path forward for all. That sets you up for success in the Future. With some 380 programs as of this year, including 153 degree programs, 180 emphases, and 56 certificate programs, there is truly something for everyone if you are to continue your education. Grounded in Christian truth, GCU works to empower the next generation to lead with integrity, to serve with purpose and help transform their communities and build a future that matters. So if that sounds like something that is up your alley, take action. Find your purpose at gcu. It is private, it's Christian, it's affordable, it's nonprofit. Visit GCU Edu to learn more. Again, that is GCU Edu to learn more today. Now back to Lindy. I obviously have to ask, like, why the hell did you actually do this? Like, why did you agree to this? Was it simply to keep up a facade of this fantasy imaginary life that you've created? Maybe because you told the world that you didn't have to change yourself to get the love that you wanted, but actually it didn't work out that way and you were too embarrassed to admit it. I mean, like now she is openly sharing how much of a hit it was to her ego and her self worth, which she was trying to protect and promote throughout all of her work with Shrill and her original memoir. Like in this interview, she says, I had always been kind of lonely and single and sad and yearning and growing up in a fat body. People will tell you that no one will ever love you unless you fix your body. And then being a very visible woman on the Internet, strangers are just telling you that every day and there's all this baggage around it, but really at heart, ahem. And I just love each other so much. Okay. Really? And I think that we both kind of knew that we couldn't imagine a life without the other person. Then why? Why does it have to be non monogamous if that is the reality? Lindy, Sorry, I'm getting distracted. She goes on and she says, but on some level he wanted to give me that big proposal, big wedding that I thought I would never get to have because it healed something in me. That's why he wanted to marry you. And you're okay with that? Like, I mean, this is telling the entire world that her whole brand and her story, again, her multimillion dollar brand, that it fell apart and that sure, she didn't have to change herself or lose weight or conform, but that she did feel the need to settle for a pity proposal and an open marriage. Like, how is that any better? Now, the good thing is you might be thinking that in this insane year of 2026, the world would be on her side and cheering this on, similarly, you know, applauding her compassion, her understanding, her progressivism, her empathy, all of that stuff. But no, guys, there is some sanity left because people online at large think that this is utterly depressing and that she is lying to herself. And I would have to agree. Somebody commented and said lindy West's poly thing going viral right now is bizarre. She did a whole documentary defending her embrace of polyamory like, three years ago, and it was just as depressing then as it is now. And guys, do not worry, I found the documentary and this part gutted me. Just watch. You know, Aham said something that I have to correct. You know, monogamous, traditional monogamous relationships, which was what both of us were used to. I was not used to that. No man ever wanted to, like, be monogamous with me or felt jealousy about me or wanted to, like, cherish me and keep me as, like, a special jewel. I was like trash, you know, So I didn't have that. You know, I had, like, shitty fake relationships with, like, people who didn't want to be seen with me. I mean, like, that's the undercurrent. That's why this is happening. And that entire documentary video that they did, like, the body language is so glaring. Like, her husband is sitting there grasping onto his girlfriend who's holding his hand, and he's like, maybe touching Lindy's thigh. And she's out there essentially on an island all by herself, crying about how she has felt unwanted and unloved for her entire life. Hence why she had to settle for this open marriage. I mean, she is literally saying she felt unwanted and unattractive. But of course, in the classic progressive way, she decided, apparently, that it wasn't her problem, it was society's problem. So I think that's probably why she went on this crusade to find love with without changing. Which is fine, do whatever you want. Write the book, do the TV show, whatever. But she told everybody that she had succeeded. But the objective and sad reality is that she is just as unwanted as before. And how ironic is it that she went on this entire journey to find love without becoming skinny and losing weight, only for her husband to find a girlfriend that is objectively, I'm sorry, prettier and skinnier than she is. And instead of finding love, she found a man who is using her and essentially groomed her into thinking that this was a healthy, good idea of a marriage. That is what happened. And now, 10 years later, instead of dealing with that, because obviously, per usual, it's not her problem, it's society's problem, she has decided to tell us how wonderful and empowering and progressive this is. And again, I am telling you, no one is buying it. Like, this is the biggest white bull I've ever seen. Everybody is like, you're crazy. This is unhealthy and we hate it. For example, one journalist from the Atlantic. I mean, she's already losing the journalists. That's never a good sign. This journalist even brought up another memoir from another polyamorous woman who had a similar story that he had done a review of a few years ago. So he tweeted this. He said, a while ago I reviewed a memoir of a polyamorous woman. It received glowing coverage despite it being painfully clear, if you're at all literate, that the author, a literal cult survivor, was manipulated into an open marriage by her husband. She spends the whole book crying. And then he posts an excerpt from the review that he did of this book, and I want you to hear this so he wrote at the time. But though Molly may tell herself and her readers that she is on a journey of learning and growth, the ugly truth is that More feels like a 290 page cry for help. Molly does not come off as a woman boldly finding herself, but rather as somebody who is vulnerable to psychological manipulation and does not enjoy her open marriage. And I am not holding a magnifying glass up to the text in search of hidden signs of discontent. I am not paternalistically projecting my Protestant values or wintry Northeastern prudishness onto the author. I simply read the book. And if it seems like Molly Roden Winter does not want to be in an open marriage, it is because she often lets us know that she does not want to be in an open marriage. Now he goes on and he replies to himself on Twitter and he says, at the time, I was shocked that so many reviewers painted More as a fun, sexy story of empowerment when it is, and this is a neutral description of fact, a memoir about a cult survivor whose husband pressures her into an Open marriage, which she says over and over that she wants to stop. And I think that that entire series of posts from this journalist is a great analogy for our culture, because every day we see this, we have objectively bad and unhealthy things, people who feel the impacts of those bad and unhealthy things. Yet through projection and sheer willpower and just gritted teeth, they tell society that act. It's all really empowering and they're really happy. That's essentially what that author was doing. That is essentially what Lindy west is doing. And it's all in an effort to avoid dealing with their reality, Whether it's over a broken relationship or their bodies, their weight, their insecurities over their gender identity, personal failures, race, whatever it is, they're desperate to convince us that the world is the problem, not them. Now, one post on X really pointed to that idea, and he put it so well. And he said, mostly what I'm struck by in regards to Lindy is that in the name of sort of outliving them, all these people have recreated some of the most regressive structures that they once railed against, just kind of rebranded them. I fail to see how what happened to her is any different than women were supposed to just turn a blind eye to their husband's cheating days. He, her husband treats being polyamorous as if it's a completely immutable part of himself that she must accept. The lib framework is simply weaponized to meet the desires of whoever is at the helm. Exactly. And they'll never acknowledge that this is unhealthy. They will never acknowledge that it is regressive. Again, through gritted teeth, they'll tell us how amazing it is. And it's just so ironic because we had this entire era of feminism driven by women railing against the terrible men who wouldn't commit to them, who walked all over them. We're done. We're taking back the power from the patriarchy. Like, okay, and you did that how? Like, how did that work out for you? By letting your husband cheat on you every day and him convincing you to allow that through threats of racism. And yes, she really wrote about that. That is not me just putting words in her mouth. That is not an exaggeration. Lindy west literally said that. Listen to this excerpt from her new book. She said, Aham said that he wasn't seeing anyone else. And this wasn't about me. It was just a fundamental part of his ethos. He believed that monogamy was, at its root, a system of ownership. I Had to admit that perhaps I didn't feel it as keenly as a white person. Like, guys, I just like, cannot. Even so, her husband, who I think maybe is Nigerian, he really convinced this overweight, desperate, sad, lived out woman that he could not be monogamous in their marriage because as a man of color, that was simply a system of oppression and she just didn't understand because of her skin color. Like guys. Is this why we have a fatherlessness crisis in the black community? I mean, have we solved the problem? Slavery and oppression? Thank you, aham for illuminating this. Great. I mean, it is just. It's just ridiculous. Somebody commented and said, I am staggered that this conceited pratt with a pineapple man bun is being fought over by not one, but two women. 2. Imagine having self esteem that low. My God, get a cat, get a dog, get a goldfish. It would have to be more rewarding company. And yes, that right there is. Ahem. Like Lindy, I am not saying any of this out of malice. Let us help you, because I promise that is not what a good marriage looks like. That is not what happiness looks like. When you trying to convince the world of that is just so absurd. Somebody else commented and said polyamorous was called being a douche back in my day. But so many women fell for the rebranding for the sake of fighting heteronormative culture. This is the sad result. Exactly. All politics aside and weird sexual perversions, all of that stuff, at the end of the day, polyamory, in my opinion, is really about attention, whether it is from their partner, their queer, progressive political communities, or an audience online. And that last part reminds me of an influencer that I follow named Aspen Ovart. And unlike Lindy, she is not the poster child for liberal insanity, which makes this story even more interesting and I think drives the point even more home. Now, if any of you girls out there grew up watching YouTube, the beauty vloggers, family vloggers, all of that sort of thing, you might remember Aspen as your very traditional Utah girl who made makeup videos. She married her high school sweetheart. I think at 19, she was vlogging their family, started having babies almost immediately. But then in 2024, she filed for divorce. On the day that their third daughter was born, she quickly packed up her and her girls, moved them out of Utah where they were living their entire lives, and moved them all to the great state of California. And I think that she lives somewhere around Newport beach in Orange County. Now, despite saying that she was never going to discuss her Divorce online never revealed details about what happened because she wanted to protect her children and she didn't want them to grow up. Seeing everything unfold online, she quickly began alluding to what happened, which obviously sparked online rumors. And even more intriguing, so she went even further. She would drop crumbs here and there. She would make videos with her ex husband, essentially making fun of him. She would joke about getting back together. She would talk about betrayal, all sorts of things. And all of these videos got millions upon millions of views. But then, per usual, when people are asking questions but not getting answers, they move on to the next thing. And so the attention on her died down. And so a year after all of that drama and interest in her did kind of dissipate, she announced that actually now she was bisexual and she was dating multiple people. Revolutionary. A woman has never done that before to get attention. But then once again, a few months later, the intro died down yet again. So now we're here, end of 2025, beginning of 2026, and she announces that one of the women that she was dating in her bisexual journey is actually married and that she is dating the husband as well. Just watch this. So that is her new girlfriend, Bri. Bri is now all over Aspen's TikTok. They go on trips together. And so is Brie's husband. He's on the trips. They go on dates as a throuple. They're all cuddling, they're all talking, and her children are watching all of it. But remember, back in 2024, she wasn't gonna put them through any drama. She wanted them to see crazy stuff unfold. Even though now she's dating a married couple, somebody commented and said this will end well for sure. Yeah, you think? Now, my point in bringing all this up with Aspen is that none of this feels genuine or healthy. And most of her audience agrees. Again, thank God there is sanity in our culture. It just seems like this is a. A huge cry for help. And while she is arguing out of one side of her mouth that this is really freeing and empowering, it really just looks like this is imploding her personal life even more. For example, before all of this throuple stuff came out, she was constantly making tiktoks with her best friend and a fellow influencer by the name of Alison Kooch. And she was joking about being in a throuple with Alison and her husband. Just watch this. This is one of many videos that she posted just like this. Darling, hold my hand nothing beats a Jet2 holiday. And right now you can save 50 pounds per person. So she was posting enough with Alison and her husband that somebody commented and said throuple. And she replies to that comment with a video saying, on our first date, and they're taking me to Cabo. And then on that trip, she proceeds to make video after video talking about how Alison's husband is paying for her and he's zaddy and they're paying for this trip, and they're all there together as a throuple. And so obviously people started to notice. And then out of nowhere, pretty soon after that Cabo trip, Alison and Alex Aspen stopped being friends, stopped posting their videos, and even stopped following each other. Somebody on Reddit said, I saw a theory that Allison is distancing herself. After Aspen got involved into an open marriage type situation. People think that Aspen tried to get with her and Isaac. Alison recently commented on a video regarding Aspen's new throuple and said that she would never be in an open marriage. And then to take this even a step further beyond a little comment section nugget there, there was a bit of a Freudian slip on Alison's podcast where she talked about losing friends. Just watch huge shifts that are happening in, like, my personal life, especially with, like, friendships and just, like, changes and, like, the dynamic of, like, what's happening in me and Isaac's life and, like, what we're gonna do about that. I feel like I'm being very, like, monogamous right now. Monogamous. I feel like I'm, like, dancing around. What is it? What is that saying? I feel like I'm not saying much, but I'm saying a lot at the same time. So I think that she was probably trying to say that she was being ambiguous, that she was beating around the bush. But I'm sure that she was obviously thinking about Aspen and the falling out of this very public relationship. She was think about the open relationship, monogamy, and just monogamous came out because she was thinking about that friendship. Back to Aspen. And I promise there's a through line here, so stick with me. But as Aspen is getting all of these millions of views and queries in her personal life, she has all of this newfound interest and eyes on her. She's losing friends, which now Aspen is even talking about openly on her page. She's saying, I don't have a community. I have nobody to invite to my daughter's birthday party. I feel so lonely, but I can't go back to Utah, but I have no one, and I've lost all of these friends. That's my first thought when I watched that video was like, girl, you are dating double the normal amount of people and you still feel lonely. And yet you're telling us how amazing this arrangement is. Like you're losing friends. You're saying you feel like you're on the outs of your old community. Maybe it has to do with your relationship. Maybe after all this isn't a healthy situation. Maybe people don't want to be friends with you because they can't trust you around their husbands. That might be the thing. And I also think it's important to bring up once again that you said you were going to protect your kids, not bring them into drama online. And yet you've never now crashed out multiple times on social media and you're dragging them through in real life, in person, a confusing polyamorous relationship. Now her audience, to their credit, more power to them have not held back. Somebody on Reddit said, at first I supported Aspen, but now this has gotten out of hand and it's pretty nasty. Her priorities have completely changed and it seems as though what she's doing now will affect her kids way more than that divorce. She definitely needs to focus on her three baby girls more than whatever she's doing in her personal life. And then somebody else said, I'm sure the gay is just for attention. I feel so bad for her girls who will be able to watch all of this unfold when they are older. So people online, her very progressive female audience is even saying this isn't healthy. This is because you're not doing well because you are seeking attention. This isn't right and you're not being a good mother by putting your daughters through this. And similarly with Lindy, most people who interact with her content are brushing all of this off as insecurity reframed as cool, empowering progressivism, something that actually should require therapy. For example, this comment killed me. One person said, the whole Lindy west thing has really got me thinking about how ethical non monogamy and polyamory and all the other BS that they come up with is nothing more than a way for leftist men to maintain a power dynamic over women without admitting that they want to benefit from the patriarchy. Lol. Like am I a feminist now? Do we need to go like save these submissive women from their oppressive patriarchal system? Hop in ladies. We gotta go save the libs from this insanity. All jokes aside, and obviously I do love mocking this and making fun of it, but the through line really here in all of these Stories is insecurity and instability. And another longtime YouTuber comes to mind as I'm talking about this. But this one is even less funny. Her name is Cam. She was a teen mom. She had a YouTube channel called Cam and Fam. Again, that was something I watched when I was like 17 years old, 16 years old, where she and her boyfriend, who did end up marrying her, would document their lives as teen parents. And you can see some of the videos here. They were getting millions and millions of views. They were very beloved. They had a nice family, good support system. That was the whole channel. But later, a couple of years into their marriage, after they had had their second baby, I believe, Cam's husband committed suicide. And she was the one who walked out to the garage to find. And so from there, understandably, obviously her audience has watched her unravel online as she has had to deal with that trauma. I mean, first she was in a trauma treatment center, then out of nowhere, per usual, unfortunately it's far for the course. She started dating women, then she came out as trans and she started documenting that journey, starting with her like gender affirming haircut. I mean, she's moved constantly, dragging these small children with her everywhere. And now recently, the latest iteration of this is that Cam, now a man, has announced that they are in a throuple. And so what started as a relatively wholesome family channel has now turned into a downward trend where she is documenting this relationship. Somebody commented and said, you seem like you have no idea who you are anymore, despite the fact that you are trying so hard to convince everyone that this new phase is the real you. I hope you find your place in the world soon for the sake of you and your kids. So again, another through line here is that much like with Lindy and Aspen, Cam's audience is not buying this lie. They are not buying the facade, the coping, the projection telling everybody that this is the real her, that it's amazing, that it's empowering, that it's happy and healthy for her children. Nobody's buying this now. All three of these stories are different, but they are similar in that none of them are happy. None of them are demonstrating stable, well adjusted people and families. And yet they always seem just desperate to convince the rest of us that actually they know more than we do and that these relationships are really awesome and really empowering and really freaking cool. It's not. It's not healthy, it's not empowering. You are coping whether you're coping with trauma or love or self esteem or the idea that your husband needs this because of white people. It is a cop. All of you, I'm sorry you have been brainwashed. And luckily for our culture, again, thank God, most people online seem to understand it and they are not buying it. And that is a good thing.
A
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Date: March 7, 2026
Host: Brett Cooper
In episode 147, Brett Cooper takes a critical look at the rising trend of throuples and polyamorous relationships gaining visibility in pop culture and social media. She analyzes how these arrangements are framed as empowering by their participants—particularly focusing on women—and evaluates whether this narrative aligns with the reality depicted both in memoirs and public discourse. Through case studies involving public figures like Lindy West, Aspen Ovard, and Camryn Turner, Brett questions whether the normalization of non-monogamous arrangements is truly a sign of generational progress or instead a symptom of instability and insecurity.
[00:30]
“It is beyond time to stop trying to make throuples happen. It is odd, objectively. It is weird and just across the board. We need to stop excusing people’s bad decisions in the name of empowerment because that is really what’s happening here.”
[03:00–16:45]
“Lindy, your husband was saying that you weren’t good enough alone and he only agreed to marry you if he could also not just have sex with but also fall in love and be in a relationship with somebody else. That is insane. Get a dog. Dogs are more loyal.” [10:20]
“I had always been kind of lonely and single and sad and yearning and growing up in a fat body. People will tell you that no one will ever love you unless you fix your body. And then being a very visible woman on the Internet, strangers are just telling you that every day and there’s all this baggage around it...” [14:50]
“People online at large think that this is utterly depressing and that she is lying to herself. And I would have to agree.” [17:02]
“Anything sexual or romantic that initially makes you cry and feel intense dread is probably not for you and you shouldn’t do it.” [09:10, quoting Cartoons Hate Her]
[17:40–20:45]
“She is out there essentially on an island all by herself, crying about how she has felt unwanted and unloved for her entire life, hence why she had to settle for this open marriage.” [18:50]
[21:00–23:20]
“...the ugly truth is that More feels like a 290 page cry for help…” [21:50]).
[24:10]
“Mostly what I’m struck by in regards to Lindy is that…all these people have recreated some of the most regressive structures that they once railed against, just kind of rebranded them…He, her husband, treats being polyamorous as if it’s a completely immutable part of himself that she must accept.”
[27:00–32:30]
“I have nobody to invite to my daughter’s birthday party. I feel so lonely…” [31:50]
[33:00–36:00]
“Polyamory was called being a douche back in my day. But so many women fell for the rebranding for the sake of fighting heteronormative culture. This is the sad result.” [24:50]
“The through line really here in all of these stories is insecurity and instability… none of them are happy. None of them are demonstrating stable, well adjusted people and families…” [36:27]
“Her now husband is saying, hey, I’ve been divorced twice and it’s because I’m possessive and jealous. Monogam, instead of him taking responsibility… He was like, actually, you need to adjust and I need to be able to sleep with whoever I want… and Lindy, she went along with it.” [06:40]
“You are dating double the normal amount of people and you still feel lonely. And yet you’re telling us how amazing this arrangement is.” [32:10]
“Her husband… really convinced this overweight, desperate, sad, lived out woman that he could not be monogamous in their marriage because as a man of color, that was simply a system of oppression and she just didn’t understand because of her skin color. Like guys. I just like, cannot.” [25:00]
“All three of these stories are different, but they are similar in that none of them are happy. None of them are demonstrating stable, well adjusted people and families.” [36:27]
Brett Cooper frames the episode with skepticism and humor, unpacking the complex web of public relationships that claim empowerment but reveal emotional distress, instability, and a deep sense of insecurity beneath the surface. She threads together high-profile examples to argue that the movement to normalize throuples and polyamory is more about personal malaise and societal confusion than true progress. Brett consistently links individual anecdotes to broader cultural trends, emphasizing a recurring disconnect between public narratives and private reality, and finds solace in the fact that online audiences remain largely unconvinced by the purported empowerment such relationships bring.
For listeners seeking a nuanced, critical, and at times caustic take on throuple culture and the polyamory discourse, this episode delivers pointed analysis, sharp wit, and a survey of online reactions anchored in real-world details.