A (0:00)

I bet your little Asian fish head wife doesn't have these cannons. Um, excuse me. What the actual. I mean, guys, my jaw was on the fricking floor. I have to pull this back out again. I mean, days since talking about sexual perverts. We're back. We are back down to fricking zero. Now, if you guys did not see what I just read to you over the weekend, I want to say congratulations. You kicked more rocks, you touched more grass than I did over the past few days. Because this might be one of the top five most insane stories I have ever come across. And each time some something new came out, I was just more and more flabbergasted. So let's just get into it. This is the JP Morgan employee who filed a sexual assault lawsuit against his female superior. And how 24 hours later, everything fell apart. Now, before we dive into this, as a reminder, if you guys are in the greater Nashville middle Tennessee area, I will be back at Zany's May 19th if you wanna come out and see me live. It's a super fun show. It's like this, but a ton of topics and we just have a great time and I just riff on things. I have a lot of fun doing it. I love getting to see all of your beautiful faces. So come on out, Zany'. All right, so this insane story was originally published by the Daily Mail. I think it came out on Thursday or Friday. And as I said, a male banker accused one of the female executives at JPMorgan of sexual assault and harassment and of drugging him. I mean, it's just insane. So let me read you these allegations because again, pure unbridled absurdity. So let me just read you some of these allegations. All right, so Daily Mail writes in early May 2024, do alleges that Hajini, that's the last name of this associate, dropped her pen on the floor next to his desk and while bending over to pick it up, rubbed his leg and squeezed his calf. I mean, what is this, like Legally Blonde? Bend and snap? That's what we're seeing here. He claims that she then remarked, oh, did you play basketball in college? I love basketball players. They get me so wet. Right. Later, that may do. Said in the complaint that Hodgini invited him out for drinks, but he declined. In response, she is alleged to have said, if you don't f me soon, I am going to ruin you. Never forget, I effing own you twice. Doe claims that Hajdini propositioned him for oral sex in the office on one Occasion asking birth BJ for the brown boy. My little brown boy. I mean, again, just, it's. This is freaky. I should have said viewer discretion, but this is just weird. Waldo complains that he continued to resist her advances. Hajdini allegedly threatened professional retribution, telling him that if he wanted to be promoted to executive director, he would need to start pleasing her, according to the lawsuit. You're going to need to earn it, my little Arab boy toy. Doe alleges that she told him during a work social event at her private members club. During the same event, he claims that she repeatedly groped his groin under the table and sprayed fat on her hands, running them over his neck and head. He also claimed that Hodgenie admitted to drugging him with the date rape drug and other drugs without his knowledge. Apparently Viagra was one of the drugs. He apparently said, I am very uncomfortable. Please, Lorna. That's her first name, Lorna Pajdini. But she allegedly laughed before making a racist remark that at least his genitals don't taste like curry, according to the complaint. Now, all of that is on top of her allegedly calling his wife a fish faced woman with smaller boobs than her, which is what I read to you at the beginning. So again, this is like, it is insane allegation after insane allegation. Like, is this real or is this a scene out of the most insane porno you could ever concoct in your mind? Basically, that is what people on the Internet were trying to decipher. So this was a lawsuit. It is a civil suit. It was filed anonymously by a John Doe. But he did name his alleged abuser. So that would be 37 year old Lorna Hajdini, who is in fact an executive director of JP Morgan. People were very quick to find her online on LinkedIn and. And this is her right here. Now, obviously, the moment that this story broke on Daily Mail, the Internet was set ablaze. The story got more than 50 million impressions on just their post alone. The memes, unfortunately for Lorna, were immediate. Like somebody said, I bet your little Asian fish head wife does not have these cannons. I mean, it's like the military version of Katy Perry in her California Girls music video. Somebody else said, I can't believe this. Also me filling out my application, J.P. morgan. Somebody else said, POV, you're a junior banker at J.P. morgan and your MD wants to have a performance chat. Another person said, claude, find me a junior analyst role at JP Morgan. Tailor my resume to fit the role. Make no mistake. Do you hear me? Do you hear me? It's like all of these men are like, this sounds great, dude. I don't know why you're complaining. This sounds delightful. Another person, this was actually the top comment under the Daily Mail article again, like the 50 million impression post. But he said, wish me luck, and then posted a screenshot of somebody applying to a job at JPMorgan. All right, so all of this chaos online, it went on for about 24 hours. It seemed like everyone was just focused on the absurdity of the story and the memes. I could not even get into the nitty gritty because it was so insane. But it's important to remember that there is a real person who is facing these accusations. I mean, her life, her relationships, her reputation, her career, everything is at stake. Now JP Morgan is involved, Obviously, this is a huge financial company. They're now reeling from the most viral story of probably the year thus far. So there are real people that are dealing with this, all memes aside. And so 24 hours later, this is really when things start to take a turn. So Lorna maintained her innocence and she released a statement to the New York Post through her attorney. So through her lawyers, she said, Lorna categorically denies the allegations. She never engaged in any inappropriate conduct with this individual of any kind. And she has never even been to the location where the alleged sexual assault supposedly took place. So that would be this members only club where allegedly she was groping him and spitting on her hands. Whatever he said. For a lot of people on the Internet from the jump, they were just not buying the story again because of how insane it is. Sounded like this guy posted the day that the story came out. He said, I would wager any amount of Money that this JP Morgan woman is 1000% innocent. And now she is having her life ruined by some failed banker turned scammer. And I mean, like, to me, as I was reading this story, I did not think it was real from the jump. I was like, okay, this is just so crazy. But also, Brett, you know, you've done so many of the sexual pervert episodes, maybe you should believe that it's real. But it was, again, it was just so out of pocket and so insane. And also, no woman refers to her boobs as cannons. Like, so something smelled fishy, pun very obviously intended fish head. But it turns out that it was allegedly, not allegedly, but allegedly all fabricated. And the story all started to fall apart when the New York Post released their follow up article about the story. So they did some investigating and they found Mr. John Doe and his name is Chirayu. Hopefully I'm saying that right. Chiaroo Rana. I'm gonna call him Rana for the sake of my own sanity for the rest of this episode. But here he is right there, Mr. Rana, Mr. Little Sex Slave. Now somebody commented and said somebody smashed his face with an Encyclopedia Britannica, which honestly I would have never thought about that. But that is the greatest way to describe this photo. Now here is where his story really starts to get muddled. So Rana, even though he is alleging that this woman was his boss, that she was holding promotions above him, that he felt like he had to partake in this because it was his superior. Allegedly. According to JP Morgan in New York Post investigation, Rana did not even work on under Lorna, the woman in question. So there is no way that she could have held this supposed bonus over his head. So Lorna, my girl, I'm just saying you are going to need a good sleep after the nightmare that this man has put you through. Might I suggest a Helix mattress? Now by now I'm sure you guys know how obsessed I am with my Helix mattress, especially these days now that we have an infant. Good restorative sleep for us is honestly a luxury. So I want to make sure that I thoroughly enjoy the very few hours of sleep I get. And Helix always makes that happen. So Helix Sleep makes premium mattresses that are customized to your needs. Whether you prefer a soft, medium or firm mattress, whether you are a side sleeper, a back sleeper, a stomach sleeper like me. Helix has you covered with 20 plus unique mattresses to choose from plus a variety of mattress toppers. So it is no wonder that Helix wins top awards by experts like Forbes and Wired every single year. I mean I can just personally attest it is the greatest mattress I have ever slept on. Their innovative technology and high quality materials deliver both comfort and support and you can elevate your experience even more with premium cooling. Add on options and it is shipped fast and free across the entire United States. With Helix you get a 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty and the Happy with Helix guarantee provides you a risk free customer first experience with seamless returns and exchanges if you need it. But honestly guys, I don't think you will go to helixleep.com red for 27% off sitewide exclusive for viewers of the Red cooper show. Again that is helixsleep.com Brett for 27% off site wide make sure that you enter our show name at checkout so that they know that we sent you helixsleep.com Brett, join everyone who is having the greatest sleep of their life. All right, now we need to get back to the story, guys, because there is more. So in addition, this really important fact that she was not even his boss, the Internet also outed him for working on this story for the last year, trying to get it right just before he filed the lawsuit. So look at this. Andrew Polk on X. He says it looks like this guy asked a random scam chatbot legal site about his baseless claim. Ten months ago, Rana gave his name, email address and phone number to a site for legal advice that specifically says it is not legal advice, which then posted their full conversation. I mean, like, okay, so first of all, doing that in and of itself is just plain retarded. Like, especially if you are going to massage and edit your story after the fact after posting it in a public legal forum. The intelligent thing to do is not to adapt the story after the fact. And yet that is what our friend Mr. Rana did. Because look at this. In this conversation, first of all, he says that this awful abuse, harassment, drugging took place at Morgan Stanley, not JPMorgan. You can see that in the headline right there. I was raped, sexually assaulted, harassed and forced to do drugs on my former boss at Morgan Stanley. So, you know, let's just, you know, give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he didn't want to give all of the information. He was, you know, kind of covering his trail while he knowingly posted on a public law chatbot. Got it. Okay, maybe, maybe then we can give him the benefit of the doubt. But then even that theory falls apart because it still gets better. So this TEMU legalzoom ask a lawyer chatbot also publicized the actual conversation that he then had with the actual, maybe a real attorney online. And there is an interesting detail that seems awry about this whole story and whole conversation. So listen to this. So the Joyce Law expert reaches out to him and says, hello, I am an attorney with Just Answer. I understand that you have some serious concerns regarding your former boss. I'm here to help. And the customer, Mr. Rana, he replies and says, I was sexually assaulted and harassed by my former boss and he even forced me to do drugs. It has been really hard to deal with. The law expert says if he reported this to the police. He goes on, no, I have not. He threatened me while I was living in this. He made me really scared. I was working on Blank. It's a small world there. I moved to Blank for this job. And when he found out, I Was looking to transfer to another group. He became hostile. And then he said that he would ruin my career if I didn't comply. I signed this agreement. He started spreading lies about me, claiming that I made everything up. And then he goes on, at the end, he said, I've been struggling mentally since then. He told everybody a false narrative about me, which made it even harder. He, he, he, he did all of this. He my male boss. And again, I'm trying to be fair. So I'm looking at this like the first line that I read, I was like, okay, maybe it's a slip up. Maybe it was a little typo. That's not a typo. If you're answering eight questions to an attorney that you're allegedly trying to have help you and you're talking about this male boss that is you changing the story. So this was not some typo slip up. This alleged abuser was a man in his mind 10 months ago until he thought maybe it would be better for the story, for the lawsuit if his alleged sex master was a woman. And so after talking to an attorney on a public legal advice forum, he decided to change the story. Again, it is just retarded, I guess. When he changed his narrative, decided that the abuser needed to be a woman. Poor Lorna got picked out of the J.P. morgan executive lineup. And Rana made himself into a public laughing stock, which obviously you guys are seeing online right now. But the interesting thing is Rana is not the only one, the only one who has been made into a laughingstock. Because apparently this has also been a big hit to the Indian community because obviously everyone has been making the Indian scammer jokes. Obviously. I mean, who can blame people? This is like the lowest hanging fruit possible on the Internet. And like somebody posted and said an incompetent Indian man would invent a story of a sex maniac to harm a woman and pocket millions of dollars. I can't believe it. Like I'm, I'm anticipating some email, like I'm an Indian prince. This woman has taken everything from me. Please, please give me your credit card information. That's going to be his next thing. Somebody else said, turns out this was just an Indian guy trying to scam because he got fired. Yikes. Another person said, still one of my favorite stories of the year. And the fact that it is going to likely end with an Indian scammer getting sued into oblivion only makes it better, in my opinion. My friend Kongmin Lee says they just can't help themselves. They just have to scam. And guys Guess who is triggered. Guess who is triggered? The Indian community. Because apparently, apparently he's not Indian. It's a technicality. Apparently Mr. John Doe, Mr. Rana is Nepali, not Indian. Like somebody commented and said Shirayu Rana, the man in the J.P. morgan viral story, is from Nepal. But as expected, the Internet has launched a racist attack on Indians, assuming that Rana is from India. And I hate to say, but this comment made me chuckle more than it should. Somebody said. Bold of you to think that people care about the differences between India, Pakistan, Nepal and Bangladesh. They're just memeing. They don't really care about the technicalities. They're just making memes trying to go viral. But listen, like, I'm not even hating here because you all want us to be clear that, you know, the one time the scammer is not Indian, you want to make sure that does not get confused. I get it. I would too. Just like I would also wanna make sure that my dogs are eating rough green supplements if I were you. Now, you guys know I am really careful about what we feed our dogs. And that is why we love Rough Greens. Rough Greens makes nutritional supplements that are designed to help fill the gaps that most dog foods leave behind. And their newest product, Rough Chews, does just that. They are super easy to give. They're literally like little baby treats. And they are packed with things like probiotics, omega oils, digestive enzymes, and nutrients from fruits and vegetables to help support your dog's overall health. Our dogs honestly just think they are treats. We use them as treats, but we know that they're getting real lasting nutrition with every single bite. Rough GRE also make something called Vita Smart, which is their powdered supplement that you sprinkle right on top of your dog's food every single day. It is another really simple way to boost your dog's nutrition without changing their diet. So you got the chews, you got the powder. You can choose whatever works for your family and your dog, but they have options. So if you want to try Ruffgreens today for your dog, go to ruffgreens.com and use promo code Brett at checkout and they will send you a free Vita Smart starter pack so that you can see the difference for yourself. Again, that is ruffgreens.com, use promo code Brett at checkout. And guys, when you are cuddled up with your healthy supplemented dog this week, I have the perfect documentary for you both to watch. And it is called Standout. Standout tells the Ben Care, who is a young man who was born with a rare condition that made him look different growing up. And because of that, he dealt with years and years of bullying and feeling like he did not belong. But at a young age, Ben made the choice to not avoid the struggle or hide from all of that bullying. He chose to go through all of the doubt and the pain and he turned it into strength as he fell in love with wrestling. Now, by channeling all of this pain and following his passion, ignoring all the naysayers, he became a five times national high school wrestling champion. And this, this right here is his story. This is a movie that makes you better by watching it. It is inspiring. It is empowering. The entire family will enjoy it. To see standout, go to angel.com Brett join the Angel Guild and stream Standout today. Now. Anyway, back to this developing story. Now at this point, based on everything we know, the only thing that could really help legitimize Ronna's story is that according to the New York Post in their follow up article, he did file an HR complaint with JP Morgan a year ago. So according to their article they wrote, he filed an internal complaint in May of 2020 alleging race and gender based harassment and abuse of power before trying to negotiate a payoff. It ran into millions to leave the company, sources said. But here's the thing. J.P. morgan's investigation, once he launched that complaint, they found no evidence. So JP Morgan strongly denied all of the claims. A bank spokesperson who refused to be drawn out on the identity of Doe, said a thorough internal probe by the bank's HR department and in house lawyers, which included a review of team phone records and emails, found no evidence to support them. Following an investigation, we don't believe there's any merit to these claims. While numerous employees cooperated with the investigation, including Lorna, apparently the complainant refused to participate and has declined to provide facts. So it would be central to support his allegations. Which is ironic, I might add, because remember in the TEMU Legal Zoom conversation he said he had ample evidence. We can put that on the screen here. He recorded all the phone calls. He has ample evidence to support this abuse at the hands of his male boss. Got it. Anyway, basically what I am trying to say here is that unless Rana can provide that evidence in the court of public opinion, it has now been decided that he fabricated the entire story. That everything was just. I mean he premeditated it on TEMU Legal Zoom. The facts changed. He massaged the story to make it more interesting. He then filed a civil lawsuit instead of a criminal lawsuit because allegedly Apparently. Apparently. Allegedly. He just was after a payday from JP Morgan, and when that internal complaint did not work, he took it to court a year later. Now, interestingly, on top of all of this, he and his team have now apparently withdrawn the suit to work on some corrections. As you can see here, they're just gonna adapt it once again, maybe massage the story. Maybe he has finally remembered he's come to and realized that his abuser was actually a man. Sorry, had to. Anyway, as I watched all of this transpire over the last four days, I will say I was very impressed with the way that the Internet kept a level head throughout this entire story. Like, yes, the memes were going crazy. This poor woman, Lorna, was not really being mocked, but she was, like, in the center of this joke. But all of that uproar aside, people were relatively rational, and they are overwhelmingly now supporting the JP Morgan executive. And you guys probably know where I'm going with this, but this is so unlike everything that we as a society experience with the MeToo movement, where men, you know, were found guilty based on social media posts and vibes alone. And even after their innocence could have been proven guilty, their reputations were still destroyed. They could not rebuild their careers like they were done for, where the women in those stories were still hailed as brave survivors, empowered women, even if we now know that their stories did not hold water in the first place. So this really just feels like a ship. And so I guess my question is that I've been trying to think through is, is this different response because the culture has shifted a bit, thanks to the Amber Heard Johnny Depp trial, thanks to Blake Lively and Jessa Baldon, these huge cases that have completely thwarted the MeToo movement. Everything we now know about Harvey Weinstein and the women who were raped by him, but then kept coming back for years and years and emailing him asking for support, all of these things. Like, because of that, have we all kind of shifted back to reality and common sense? Or. Or. And this is, I guess, less fortunate. But is it because the accused victim was a woman and not a man, and so she gets more benefit than an accused man would? And I think it probably is a little bit of both. The other thing that I want to say is that when I was reading all of the comments, post fabrication, alleged fabrication information, I honestly winced every time that I opened up a comment section because I was expecting to see so many comments from people saying, you know, who cares about the woman if it's fake or not? This is karma. Women deserve to Be falsely accused. It's your time to be falsely accused. Like whatever. Like I was coming up with just the worst, most atrocious anti woman comments possible and I did not see a single one. Like, can we have a round of applause for the Internet? I did not see a single one. It was in fact quite the contrary. Like somebody said she's a dime and earner, she's probably brilliant. It sounds like she is well liked too. She is certainly not going to have a problem finding a partner. They just might have some weird requests. Now. That being said, she should still sue him into financial ruin for being a scammer. Another guy said, I mean all I can say, she will be all right. Having said that, I would love to see this scumbag be put in jail. Another guy said, you know, I felt the same way. Brief shock at the absurdity of it and then realizing, wait, this, this is not an Onion article. This is real life. I feel terrible for her though, but I'm hoping that she can clear her name and find a way to have a laugh about it. Another person said, seeing an innocent person's reputation get drugged through the mud by reporters and social media always sucks. You can never underestimate a low performer's take some scalps on the way out mentality. And I hate, like I hate to say this, but I genuinely was shocked to read comments like that. And that is just a few of thousands. Like I think I'm so used to seeing this like seething, disgusting underbelly of the Internet, the hatred between the genders, which obviously we've talked a lot about on the show. And so this is a really nice reminder through a very insane and absurd story. But it was a nice reminder that that is not always real life and that there are great, normal, good, not chronically online, not black pilled people, that they still exist. They actually have normal, healthy, empathetic, nuanced reactions to complex situations. Like something can be objectively absurd and funny and also be deeply awful and unfortunate for the people involved. At the same time, and looking at stories with even a grain of common sense and discernment can help keep a society's sanity in check. So that is what I personally am taking away from this story. And this is the last thing I'll say. This is what I really hope. I hope that dear sweet Lorna, again, I'm so sorry Lorna. I hope that Lorna and Rana's wife, because apparently he is married, can come together and have some kind of support group for women who have now had to deal with this insane man. I mean, he is calling Lorna a dominatrix sex master. And he called his wife a small boobed fish head in his allegedly fabricated made up story. So they both. Because that's so offensive, they both should sue him into oblivion.