Podcast Summary: The Brett Cooper Show – Episode 58

Title: Why Did Every Guy Reject This Girl?
Date: August 18, 2025
Host: Brett Cooper

Episode Overview

This episode dives into a viral controversy from a Mormon dating show called The Altar, where a contestant named Riley was rejected by all the men after giving what many saw as a wholesome introduction. Brett explores the cultural discourse surrounding the event—particularly the backlash online that interpreted Riley’s love for travel and adventure as "red flags" or indicators of promiscuity—unpacking what this reaction says about modern dating, generational insecurities, and growing divides between men and women. Brett contextualizes the uproar with examples from other online discussions and adds thoughtful commentary on how digital discourse distorts reality and amplifies toxic narratives.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Viral Clip and Initial Reaction

• [00:00–02:46] Brett introduces Riley’s viral appearance on The Altar, a Mormon dating show where men could stand up if they wanted to meet a woman after hearing her introduction. Riley describes herself as “down for any good adventure,” mentioning certifications in scuba diving, plans to travel, and a love for themed parties.
• All the men remain seated; Riley is rejected without a single introduction.
• Brett’s emotional reaction:

  "She seems so sweet. And I obviously… I don't want anybody to feel rejected. And it was pulling at my heartstrings." – Brett [02:46]

2. Online Discourse: From Sympathy to Outrage

• [02:46–04:20] The conversation migrates from supportive Instagram comments to a brutal, judgmental discourse on X (formerly Twitter).

• A barrage of comments paint Riley’s adventurous spirit as a "red flag," with several suggesting that travel means promiscuity or that she must be high-maintenance.

• Notable online quotes:

  "‘I want to get railed by lots of foreign men and then settle down.’" – Anonymous commenter [03:29]
  "Travel means shifty, rootless, and a compulsive spender." – Anonymous commenter [03:06]

• Brett’s response:

  "I shouldn't be laughing at this comment, but I literally cackled out loud because…in what world did you watch that video of that sweet, innocent girl and go, oh yeah, shifty, rootless." – Brett [03:45]

3. Travel as a Gendered "Red Flag"

• [06:22–07:01] Brett plays a clip from Steiny’s podcast (Nelk Boys) echoing the sentiment that travel (especially funded travel) is suspicious in women, leading men to assume a lack of innocence.

• Notable quotes from the podcast:

  "I just don't like to see them on that first class lie-flat seat, you know, some rich guys flying them out to Europe… trips are red flag." – Michael Porter Jr. on Steiny’s podcast [06:22]
  "We want her to have some innocence left." – Guest on Steiny’s podcast [06:51]

• Brett counters with a personal story of a devout Catholic friend who loves travel, funds her own trips, and represents the vast majority of travel-loving women—contradicting the online stereotype [07:20].

  "It's more normal than girls getting flown out in lay-flat seats to Mykonos… Girls wanting to travel just being, you know, a code for I want to go hook up with a bunch of foreign guys—I'm sorry, that is just not real." – Brett [07:48]

4. Other Critiques: Expense and Masculinity

• Online critics label Riley as "expensive," "high maintenance," and unreliable simply for liking adventure-based hobbies.

  "If this was a pitch for a friend, I would think that she is very expensive to hang out with." – Anonymous commenter [09:43]

• Brett dissects these accusations, noting their contradictions:

  "People say that girls who are into shopping and fashion and doing make up are high maintenance… Which one do you want?" – Brett [10:10]

• Online scrutiny further targets her clothing and demeanor, with commenters attacking what she wore—despite the fact that Riley was behind a curtain and not visible to the men, a key detail omitted from most viral clips.

  "They did not even see her... It was a blind dating experience… So, this was not about her outfit or her posture or her demeanor…" – Brett [11:59]

• The show's format placed Riley at a disadvantage:

  "[She] went first. She launched the entire web series... Everybody was awkward, everybody was fidgeting." – Brett [15:25]

5. Hobbies, Preferences, and Reality vs. Online Stereotypes

• Brett argues that shared hobbies are critical to real-world relationships, and having masculine or adventurous interests should not be stigmatized.

  "Just because somebody enjoys things that you don't particularly enjoy...does not make them objectively bad or unattractive to other people." – Brett [19:34]

• Brett references threads from Reddit’s r/AskMen, where the majority of men say the most attractive thing is simply that a woman has a hobby or passion, regardless of what it is.

  "Most of the men just said we just want her to have some kind of hobby and be passionate about something…that restored my faith in humanity a little bit." – Brett [18:07]

• Rejection is not an indictment of worth; just a mismatch in interests or context.

6. Broader Reflection: The Real Problem

• Brett returns to the lesson: Social media amplifies fringe negativity that doesn’t represent real-world experience or the majority of people.

  "You enjoying traveling as a woman does not mean that you are a slut. And I guarantee you, men out there who are offline, I do not think that that is what they assume." – Brett [17:53]

• Advice to listeners:

  "Take a deep breath, touch some grass, kick some fricking rocks and move on." – Brett [25:29]

Notable Quotes

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 03:06 | Commenter | “Travel means shifty, rootless, and a compulsive spender.” | | 03:29 | Commenter | “I want to get railed by lots of foreign men and then settle down.” | | 06:22 | Guest (Steiny’s podcast) | “Trips are red flag.” | | 06:51 | Guest | "We want her to have some innocence left." | | 07:48 | Brett | "Girls wanting to travel just being, you know, a code for I want to go hook up with a bunch of foreign guys—I'm sorry, that is just not real." | | 15:25 | Brett | "[She] went first. She launched the entire web series... Everybody was awkward, everybody was fidgeting." | | 17:53 | Brett | "You enjoying traveling as a woman does not mean that you are a slut." | | 18:07 | Brett | “Most of the men just said we just want her to have some kind of hobby and be passionate about something…that restored my faith in humanity a little bit.” | | 19:34 | Brett | “Just because somebody enjoys things that you don’t particularly enjoy...does not make them objectively bad or unattractive to other people.” | | 25:29 | Brett | “Take a deep breath, touch some grass, kick some fricking rocks and move on.” |

Memorable Moments and Observations

• Brett wearing a crocheted sweater in solidarity with Riley, responding to online criticism of Riley’s clothing. [11:20]
• Detailed context about the blind format of the dating show—showing how the viral narrative omitted important facts. [11:59]
• Use of a personal friend’s experience as anecdotal evidence against reductive online stereotypes. [07:20]
• Brett’s empathy for people who get rejected in public and frustration at the online mob’s cruelty.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:00–02:46]: Show setup; Riley’s introduction and viral rejection.
• [02:46–04:20]: Instagram vs. X reactions to Riley.
• [06:22–07:01]: Steiny’s Podcast; "travel girls" as a red flag.
• [09:43–10:10]: "Expense" critique of travel as a hobby.
• [11:59–13:45]: Show format context: blind introduction, not a looks-based rejection.
• [15:25–16:30]: The pressure and disadvantage of going first.
• [17:53–19:34]: Reality vs. online perceptions of female travelers and hobbies.
• [18:07–19:00]: Reddit r/AskMen views; men value women with hobbies.
• [19:34–20:50]: Broader reflection and advice for listeners.

Tone and Language

Brett’s tone is conversational, wry, and occasionally indignant, marked by exasperation with online toxicity but compassion toward those unfairly judged. She weaves humor, personal anecdotes, and direct addresses to both men and women, aiming for realism and nuance over ideological purity or clickbait outrage.

Takeaways

• The viral Riley dating show incident reveals more about online anxieties and projection than genuine relationship dynamics.
• Stereotyping women’s interests as red flags is both unfair and unrepresentative of most people's real-world experiences.
• Social media discourse too often strips important context and fosters hostility, driving wedges between men and women.
• Rejection in dating often comes down to context, format, and chemistry—not moral character or overarching cultural flaws.
• Empathy and nuance are needed; viewers should touch grass, embrace differences, and recognize everyone won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

End summary.