The Brett Cooper Show

Episode 69: "Why Women Don't Want to Date Red Pill Men"

Date: September 25, 2025
Host: Brett Cooper

Overview

In Episode 69, Brett Cooper tackles the generational, political, and cultural forces fragmenting today’s dating landscape—particularly focusing on the "red pill" movement among young men and why these men repel rather than attract women. Drawing on personal commentary, social research, and viral podcast/creator clips, Brett unpacks how polarization and reactionary values on both the left (toxic feminism) and right (red pill ideology) are deepening distrust between sexes, fueling the loneliness epidemic, and making meaningful relationships harder to build. Ultimately, Brett calls for a rejection of extremes and a return to responsibility, decency, and mutual appreciation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dating Divide: How We Got Here

Timestamps: 00:00–05:50

• Loneliness epidemic among Gen Z: Brett refers to recent studies identifying Gen Z as the "loneliest generation," citing factors from social media to COVID as root causes.
• Widening ideological gap: Brett cites Wendy Walsh (psych professor and "Ambassador for Dating Advice.com") on rising political polarization:

  “Males have become increasingly conservative and the most liberal and progressive group in America is young females. The political polarization is already creating problems in the dating scene.” (00:38)

• Effects on young people: Polarization means many aren’t dating, and those who do are confined to a shrinking pool who match their ideological views.

2. Alienation of Men & Cultural Messaging

Timestamps: 05:51–10:55

• Longstanding alienation: Years of shaming men, especially post-MeToo, for “normal male traits” (stoicism, assertiveness, hobbies) has caused men to feel “monsters or predators or less than.”

  “There was and still is this attack on toxic masculinity, which stereotyped, you know, normal male traits...as being inherently harmful.” (02:14)

• Loss of male pride: Brett references a British study:

  “Nearly 50% of young men reported feeling that being a man is not a source of pride for them, which is just insane.” (03:22)

• Political consequence:

  “No wonder young men move to the right...they are men who seem to be proud of being men.” (04:37)
  She notes the rise of male-centric spaces—UFC, male podcasts—as “speaking to generations of men who've been ignored.”

3. Emergence and Critique of the Red Pill Man

Timestamps: 10:56–15:01

• Who are the "red pill bros"? Men who see modern feminism as societal evil, believe women have unfair cultural power, and idolize hyper-dominant “alpha” traits.

  “They have a perverted view of masculinity...They also very often lump women together and see us all as being inherently menac, manipulative, interested only in exploiting men.” (08:08)

• Caricature of masculinity:

  “Their manhood is defined by how many women they can exploit, how many women they can sleep with...It is a caricature of masculinity. It is bitter, and in my opinion, it is incredibly performative.” (08:43)

• Core grievances are legitimate:

  “Their core grievances are often very legitimate...Liberal women and progressives, you created a space for the red pill man to thrive.” (09:23)

• Unattractive to women:

  “Women are not going to want to date men who are assholes and hate them for just being women.” (10:05) Example: Younger women now prefer older, “chill, feminist bros”—contrasting sharply with red-pilled counterparts.

4. The Feminist Response and Toxicity on Both Sides

Timestamps: 15:02–18:30

• Feminist influencers (e.g., Call Her Daddy): Brett discusses influence of female podcasters, notably Alex Cooper.

  “They should, quote, unquote, have sex like a man, that they should toy and play games with men as a way of gaining power and confidence...” (12:08)

• Men as disposable:

  “Her ideology was based on the fact that men are pigs, so women should be pigs. Back towards them.” (13:44) Clip from Alex Cooper on her intentions: “Did you want to punish them?” — “Kind of, yeah... when boys were drooling over me and I was just like, oh, I hate you.” (14:37)

• Bad for everyone: “It is not just unhealthy for men, it impacts them negatively. It's impacting the women negatively...” (15:08)
• Endless cycle: Hurt men respond by adopting red pill attitudes; both sides mirror the antagonism and distrust.

5. Critique from Former Insiders

Timestamps: 18:31–19:57

• Clip from Billy Ray Brandt, former red pill creator:

  “I used to think they all wanted to defeat feminism, but now I'm just realizing that they used feminism as an excuse to encourage negativity and toxic behavior amongst men... It's all bitching with no solution.” (17:13)

• Brett:

  “Everything that she said about the red pill bros, about this community of guys, these attitudes. You could also say that about feminism. You could say that about Alex Cooper.” (17:58)

6. Pathways to Healing: Personal Accountability & New Masculinity

Timestamps: 19:58–24:15

• “Two wrongs do not make a right... Neither of those behaviors or attitudes are right or moral or good or promote goodness.” (15:54)
• Advice for women:

  “If you respect yourself and you hold yourself to a higher standard, an amazing man will come your way.” (19:58)

• Advice for men:

  "Women are not the enemy... If you want a princess, be a prince. That means that you have to work on yourself... for a lot of women, that is not being a bitter, angry, red pill bro." (20:39)

7. A Third Option: Competent Generosity

Timestamps: 24:16–25:11

• Father Mike Schmidt’s Homily (clips):

  “Our culture offers young boys two alternatives...You can either be the weakling or you can be the brute, the bully.” (21:19)

• But real masculinity means taking responsibility for yourself, then for others:

  “A marker of adulthood is I'm now willing to take responsibility for myself...another level of adulthood...takes responsibility for others.” (22:25)

• True “alpha” is not brute domination, but “competent generosity.”

  “Women aren't attracted to that dominant personality...what they're attracted to is...competent generosity.” (24:13)

• Brett:

  “You don't have to be the strongest or most attractive...But you should be someone who is good, who takes responsibility for not just your life, but for others, who can care for others, who can protect them and treat them with decency.” (24:13)

8. Hopeful Models & Cultural Optimism

Timestamps: 25:12–26:35

• Clips from Nara Smith and Hannah Nealman praising compassionate, collaborative marriages.

  “Marriage is a collaboration between two people... for me, that's not a thing. It was really us learning how to communicate better, how to be there for each other, how to be less stubborn, how to be more loving and compassionate.” – Nara Smith (25:07) “Daniel, my husband, is so good at just being a steady rock...he doesn't ever get entangled with the ups and downs of social media.” – Hannah Nealman (25:42)

• Traditional values: Brett emphasizes that marriage, monogamy, and family-building are not oppressive, but “the most freeing and empowering part of my life.”

9. Final Takeaways: Reject Caricatures, Seek Real Connection

Timestamps: 26:36–End

• Both men and women must stop demonizing the other side, stop performing bitter stereotypes, and instead “reach across the aisle of the sexes with compassion and...decency.”
• Practical first steps: “Get your ducks in a row. Clean your own bedroom first. Be a good human being. Have a basic appreciation and interest in the opposite sex.” (End)
• Brett’s sign-off:

  “Put down your phone, log off of X, get off of TikTok, go touch grass for the love of Pete, and find somebody that you love being around that you believe you can build a life with...There is so much hope. There are so many great people out there who are striving for greatness and goodness. And I promise you, if you take responsibility for yourself, if you build a good life and surround yourself with great people, that person will find you.” (End)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We are so lonely, we have literally been dubbed the loneliest generation.” (00:09)
• “Young men can look up to [Trump and J.D. Vance] and maybe even see themselves in those two men.” (05:13)
• “The red pill man... idolize these hyper dominant, quote unquote alpha traits. They have a perverted view of masculinity and femininity...” (08:18)
• “That is where this divide started... it is no wonder that now men are responding by basically doing the same thing to women.” (15:19)
• Alex Cooper: “Did you want to punish them?” — “Kind of, yeah... when boys were drooling over me and I was just like, oh, I hate you.” (14:37)
• Billy Ray Brandt: “They bitch about women being hoes, but encourage men to be more promiscuous and create more hoes... It's all bitching with no solution.” (17:13)
• Father Mike Schmidt: “Women aren't attracted to that dominant personality...what they're attracted to is...competent generosity.” (24:13)
• “Traditional values, settling down, finding somebody you love...are not oppressive. In my experience. They have actually been the most freeing and empowering part of my life.” (25:42)
• “Put down your phone...go touch grass...find somebody that you love being around...There is so much hope...” (End)

Conclusion

Brett Cooper’s Episode 69 is a frank, multifaceted exploration of how men and women are being pushed into antagonistic corners by cultural and digital forces. She cautions against reflexively adopting angry red pill or feminist postures, urging listeners instead to embrace personal responsibility, “competent generosity,” and a return to genuine mutual appreciation—reclaiming hope and connection in a divided age.