Mermaid Tempura

Summary

The Brilliant Idiots – "Mermaid Tempura" (April 17, 2026)

Main Theme & Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz blend their trademark idiocy and brilliance to riff on aging, social media, viral videos, pop culture scandals, political controversies, nostalgia for the 90s, the power of satire, and more. Beginning with joking about hangovers and the realities of getting older, the conversation careens through viral mermaid videos, fast food debates, Caitlyn Jenner’s latest headlines, Trump’s bizarre Jesus photo, the effectiveness of modern satire, and a heated take on the Katy Perry and Ruby Rose controversy. The hosts keep the energy high with irreverent humor, slick cultural commentary, and frequent dives into deeper issues—all punctuated by moments of pure absurdity and undeniable wit.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Getting Older, Hangovers, & Life Choices (01:27–04:43)

• Hangovers and Aging: Andrew laments how hangovers now ruin his entire day and talks about attempts to recover: “I hit the sauna. The steam room. I was trying to sweat it out. It's not going nowhere.” (03:43)
• Lifestyle Choices: Both discuss how with age, choices between sleep, health, and “erections over everything” become daily trade-offs.
• Sleep Routines: Schulz likes his late-night doom scrolls while Charlamagne is militant about winding down early: “You gotta shut your screen time down at least an hour and a half before bed.” (04:06)

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Viral Mermaid Video, AI, and Culinary Shock (04:38–15:19)

• The ‘Crying Mermaid’ Video: Charlamagne describes a viral clip of fishermen catching a “kid mermaid,” riffing about whether he believes it’s real or AI; Andrew makes dark "sushi" jokes. (05:06–06:49)
  • Quote: “Yo, you got to be an ill to eat a mermaid, yo. This mermaid is fighting for this life.” (06:19, Charlamagne)
• AI & Misinformation: They contemplate how AI confuses what’s real—“There’s probably so many things we saw that we thought were real, but was actually AI the whole time.” (14:16)
• Food Tangent: The talk segues into the absurdity of eating jellyfish, mermaids, and the linguistic logic of peanut butter and “jellyfish sandwiches.”

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Tom Hanks vs. Leonardo DiCaprio – The GOAT Actor Debate (17:15–25:54)

• Filmography Showdown: Charlamagne passionately argues Tom Hanks outshines Leo in terms of quality and cultural impact. They list hits from both, and praise those "who don’t miss."
  • Quote: “Everybody got a daddy, bro, and Tom is Tom’s motherfucker’s daddy…I can start with Philadelphia. Before that, it was Sleepless in Seattle…” (19:34)
• Denzel Washington Side Discussion: They analyze Denzel’s range and argue which roles prove he’s more than “just Denzel.”
• Spike Lee’s “Inside Man”: The crew agrees it's a modern classic—Schulz praises its writing and 'bleeding New York' authenticity.

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Consistency, One-Time Genius, and Cultural Impact (26:18–31:37)

• Mary J. Blige vs. Lauryn Hill: They weigh the value of a consistent catalog (Tom Hanks, Mary) versus single-album legend status (Lauren Hill).
• Fast Food as Metaphor: Comparing McDonald’s fries to artistic output—ubiquity breeds underappreciation: “McDonald's might be underrated...” (30:52)
• Nostalgia: They wax poetic on how fast food has changed and reminisce about specific childhood meals.

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KFC International & Food Comparisons (32:31–33:57)

• Global Fast Food: Debates over KFC in Jamaica, Iceland, Barcelona, and the difference in seasoning and regulations globally.

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Volleyball Virality: “Zesty” Athletes & Representation (37:31–41:06)

• Zesty Volleyball Player: The hosts riff—mixing admiration and playful stereotyping—on a viral volleyball player’s on-court flair.
  • Quote: “This is what we've been waiting for. We need a zesty athlete that dominates.” (37:38, Schulz)
• Discussion about Athletes’ Sexuality: Jokes about "the gays and volleyball" and acknowledgment of Hawaii’s legacy of LGBTQ volleyball representation.

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Caitlyn Jenner’s "Hypocrisy," Kardashian-Jenner Curse, and Trans Discourse (41:12–45:55)

• Jenner’s Contradictions: Discussing Caitlyn’s admission about hypocrisy around women's awards and stance on sports, with jokes about hormonal treatments, sexuality, and romantic partners.
  • Quote: “How you a transgender and can't get no emotion? ...He say anything? He try to get hot. Do anything to try to get hot and can't get hot, yo.” (41:30, Charlamagne)
• Kardashian Curse: Musing on the fate of men associated with the Kardashian-Jenner clan, the origins of "their curse," and inside conspiracy theories.
• Transgender Relationship Talk: The group makes irreverent jokes but acknowledges lack of mainstream attention for certain issues.

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Trump’s Jesus Photo, Christian Outrage, & Media Manipulation (47:01–55:16)

• Doctored Photo: Discussion of Trump posting himself as Jesus, Christian backlash, and the curious choice to remove that post but not overtly racist content.
  • Quote: “Racism is light compared to blasphemy of Jesus Christ.” (49:19, Charlamagne)
• Power of Religious Imagery: The dangers of leaders leveraging religious iconography and the blurred line with dictatorship.
• Religion & Hypocrisy: A thoughtful chat about Catholic vs. Protestant structures, faith, and why people cover up evil in institutions.

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The Power of Satire & The Need for Context (63:06–73:58)

• Satire’s Role Today: The group laments that the real world is now so absurd, it's hard for satire to outdo reality (citing Trump’s Easter Bunny moment and The Daily Show’s effectiveness). “Right now, we're aware of how absurd shit is. So how do you go more absurd than what's happening?” (65:41, Andrew)
• Nostalgia & Authenticity: Younger generations crave 90s and early 2000s "realness" as a break from today’s hyperreal, chaotic news cycle.
• Comedy as Coping: They debate whether people want political humor or pure escapism at shows—Schulz thinks fun first, politics second.

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Katy Perry & Ruby Rose Controversy – Same Sex Assault, Public Perception (74:12–81:33)

• Ruby Rose’s Accusation: The group reads and reacts to Ruby Rose’s tweet alleging Katy Perry sexually assaulted her at a nightclub, sparking a discussion on how same-sex and female-female assaults are perceived and (under)reported.
  • Quote: “The worst part of this story is that you heard that your vagina smells so bad that somebody projectile vomited...” (77:15, Charlamagne)
• Double Standards: Both note the lack of public outcry compared to a hypothetical male perpetrator, and the long-lasting impact of sexual allegations.
  • Quote: “For some reason we don't take the same sex sexual ass... For some reason we don't take the same sex sexual ass(ault seriously).” (78:55, Schulz)

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Ask An Idiot Fan Questions (95:10–102:36)

• Success in War: Consensus—there is no real “success” in war when innocents die and the global economy tanks.
• Millennial President: The hosts agree it’s inevitable and perhaps refreshing, given current gerontocracy.
• Aging, Fat People, & Celebrity Looks: Tangent about how “fat is an age” in Hollywood, using Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill as examples.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You get to a certain age where you gonna have to choose erections over everything, baby. Okay, there's certain things that you get to a certain age, you know, gonna impact that erection, the hangover, the motherfucking sugar. You gotta choose what you want, bro.” —Charlamagne (03:13)
• “Nah, bro, McDonald's fries might be underrated. Like, even the sundae at McDonald's...” —Schulz (30:52)
• “Everybody got a daddy, bro, and Tom is Tom’s motherfucker’s daddy... Tom Hanks’ catalog is different.” —Charlamagne (19:34)
• “You gotta be an ill to eat a mermaid, yo. This mermaid is fighting for this life.” —Charlamagne (06:19)
• “Racism is light compared to blasphemy of Jesus Christ.” —Charlamagne (49:19)
• “For some reason, we don't take the same sex sexual ass(ault seriously)...” —Schulz (78:55)
• "It's like, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" —Charlamagne (60:44)
• "Right now, we're aware of how absurd shit is. So how do you go more absurd than what's happening?" —Schulz (65:41)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Hangover, Sleep, Erections, and Doomscrolling: 01:27–04:43
• Mermaid Viral Video & AI Reality: 04:38–15:19
• Tom Hanks vs. Leonardo DiCaprio / Denzel & Spike Lee: 17:15–25:54
• Lauryn Hill vs. Mary J. Blige / Fast Food as Art: 26:18–31:37
• Global KFC and Food Talk: 32:31–33:57
• Zesty Volleyball Viral Star: 37:31–41:06
• Caitlyn Jenner, Kardashian-Jenner Curse: 41:12–45:55
• Trump’s Messiah Imagery: 47:01–55:16
• Power of Satire / Absurdity of Reality: 63:06–73:58
• Katy Perry/Ruby Rose Assault Claim: 74:12–81:33
• Ask An Idiot (Fan Q&A): 95:10–102:36

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Style & Tone

The hosts mix unfiltered humor, hearty debates, and earnest reflection. They balance irreverence and sharp insights, often flipping from gallows humor to unexpected profundity.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a quintessential “Brilliant Idiots” ride—sharply observant, brash, and frequently laugh-out-loud. If you want a pulse on internet culture, modern absurdity, generational divides, and the line between “brilliant” and “idiotic,” this chat is both a wild time and surprisingly thoughtful. Whether it’s the way scandals are perceived, why fries matter, or why satire is hard now, Charlamagne and Schulz serve up something to think (and laugh) about.

Transcript

[Charlamagne Tha God]

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[Andrew Schultz]

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[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Taylor]

Was she brave?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

She was tired mostly. But she went to Carvana.com and found a great car at a great price. No secret treasure map required.

[Andrew Schultz]

Did you have to fight a dragon? Nope.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

She bought it 100. 100% online from her bed, actually.

[Andrew Schultz]

Was it scary?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.

[Taylor]

Did the car have a sunroof?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

It did, actually. Okay, good story. Car buying you'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yep. Charlamagne. Tha God.

[Andrew Schultz]

Andrew Schultz.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We are the Brilliant Idiots podcast. Back for another week of brilliant idiotness. Hemichiah Walker.

[Andrew Schultz]

Sup, my man?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How was your week? Your weekend?

[Andrew Schultz]

My weekend was good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Where'd you go? You was. Were you doing shows this weekend?

[Andrew Schultz]

What the fuck? Did I do this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yep. Getting old, buddy.

[Andrew Schultz]

I am.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You did this weekend.

[Andrew Schultz]

Where was I? Oh, I just did this. This Garden of Laughs charity show at Radio City, man, and that was really cool. Yesterday. Was it yesterday? Okay, yesterday or two days ago?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I could have been yesterday.

[Andrew Schultz]

Two days ago. Two days ago.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Weekend.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm hungover, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You was drinking.

[Andrew Schultz]

I drank yesterday. I guess I went on date night with my wife.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Bro, you can't that shit. You can't be having alcohol, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

It is crazy. And I'm just paying for it right now. Just brutal.

[Taylor]

What did you drink?

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't think I drank a lot. I had a Vesper martini and then I had a glass of red wine. I had some.

[Guest/Contributor]

We started at the podcast.

[Andrew Schultz]

Fuck. We were drinking during a pod and we had a lot of tequila. Then that's always drinking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I hadn't drink all year long. Last time I had a drink was New Year's Eve. And the first time I had a drink since New Year's Eve was last week at the Final Four, and it was tequila. And I'm like, nah, I can't fuck.

[Andrew Schultz]

Knocked you out, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I woke up the next day and it just. It takes me too long to recover at this age.

[Andrew Schultz]

When you're old, bro, it's the whole day. My whole day is fucked. I know that's for a fact. And I hit the sauna.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's right.

[Andrew Schultz]

I hit the. The steam room. I was trying to sweat it out. It's not going nowhere.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I did that the next day. I went to the sauna, went and got a facial. When you get to a certain age, you got to choose between erections or like, recovering from hangovers.

[Andrew Schultz]

I choose between dessert and erections.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Damn.

[Andrew Schultz]

If I have dessert, we're going to sleep when we get home.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Too much dessert causes me not to have an erection. I think it's the sugar.

[Andrew Schultz]

What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Don't worry.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, y' all will get there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You. Y' all get there, y' all gonna

[Andrew Schultz]

know young and horny.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's right.

[Andrew Schultz]

I can't wait.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's right.

[Andrew Schultz]

I cannot wait. That's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You get to a certain age where you gonna have to choose erections over everything, baby. Okay, there's certain things that you get to a certain age, you know, gonna impact that erection, the hangover, the motherfucking sugar. You gotta choose what you want, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Sleep.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Sleep.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm just at a point right now, like, if I don't get to sleep by 9:30pm I'm exhausted because I'm getting up at 6 every morning with the kids.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I get a warning at 8:20 to get you. No. Yeah, 7:20. My phone says. I have my phone set to go to bed at 8:20. So my phone warns me at 7:20, because I know I need to start winding down around that. And by like 9:15, 9:30, I got to be in the bed.

[Andrew Schultz]

And that's not how I'm wired. I'm wired to go to bed around like one.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No way.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, like in my brain, like the way. Like, that's when I do my thinking. That's when I have a little time to myself. I get a little doom scroll. I like that. Midnight to 1am period. But I'm.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, you gotta. You gotta take. You gotta shut your screen time down at least an hour and a half

[Andrew Schultz]

before bed at Night is when they get the emotional videos on Instagram reels. Damn, I was. I got a nice scroll last night. I was crying.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What you was crying about?

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, they just hit you with one thoughtful one after another. And like, this dad does this for his daughter. And this. Oh, it's beautiful. And the music is all baked in. And you could kind of train the algorithm to what you want. So when they try to throw in some bullshit that's not that, you swipe right by it. And I was on a tear. I mean, it was like 30 minutes,

[Charlamagne Tha God]

just, oh, I got one to send you semi. Man, these fucking fishermen, right? Because, you know, we live in this era now where since there's AI, they show us all these real videos and try to make us believe it's AI. Man, these fishermen had this little.

[Taylor]

Like that mermaid you talking about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, man, that mermaid had to be about 8 or 9. It was a little kid. You could tell mermaid. And that little kid mermaid was just crying. I mean, I'm just like, throw the back in the ocean. The do y' all gonna do with this thing now?

[Andrew Schultz]

That's sushi right there. No, turn that. Little Mermaid. Nice.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let me see if I got it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Man, get that up because I'm hungry just thinking about it. They lucky Japanese people didn't find that little.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Damn. Oh, it's already gone.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm just saying, if some Japanese people found her, you know, she's gonna be on rice by the afternoon. That's a guarantee.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I put it in my story. It's gone already.

[Andrew Schultz]

You think that. You think the Japanese people wouldn't discriminate against the mer people?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I couldn't eat no mermaid, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

You couldn't?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chinese people got to draw the line somewhere.

[Andrew Schultz]

Japanese.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, either way, whatever needs.

[Andrew Schultz]

Chinese people eat anything.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's not right, man. You gotta.

[Andrew Schultz]

Who eats the most shit. It's not even like, shit you couldn't even imagine they would. They eat jellyfish. Like, that's not. That's just.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, that's. That might be fire a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich. See something that got something that. Got something already in the name, like jellyfish. Like, why wouldn't I try that? Nah, if you offer me a jellyfish, I'm like, all right, put some peanut butter with some white bread with that motherfucker. Let's see what's hitting. Yeah, let's see what's happening.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, okay. God bless you, Joe. God bless you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This little mermaid was crying.

[Taylor]

So go back to the archive and find it.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's how they get archives they cry, they cry, they cry, they cry.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, you got to be an ill to eat a mermaid, yo. This mermaid is fighting for this life.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why you have to be ill to eat that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because it's a child.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're not going to eat the human part.

[Guest/Contributor]

It's more.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're just going to go right for the tail.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never thought about that.

[Andrew Schultz]

You could just make it an amputee, put it in a wheelchair, and then you just take the tail. It's like when they take the tusks off the rhinoceros.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Fried mermaid tail might be fire.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why you gotta fry it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And you wouldn't even think of. And you wouldn't even think about.

[Andrew Schultz]

Think about nothing where it came from.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's like, your fried mermaid tail. You wouldn't care if it was a child cat, a woman down. Because I know they got some mermaids with down syndrome.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what they do?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no, no, no. They do. And I'm not gonna sing the song.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's the song?

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not gonna.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's this that. You gotta sing this song. Do you have to? It's an educational part of the.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I know. It's to spread awareness for the mermaids with down syndrome.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's the. What's the song?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I'm not going to do it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's the song? Send me the video, Taylor.

[Taylor]

It's not when I type it in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on. Let me see Crying. Let me Google crying mermaid child. I don't even want to see it, man. This hurt my heart.

[Taylor]

Just go back to your story.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know how to do all of this, man. You know how long it took me just to merge a call yesterday?

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, don't even get me started.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not here for this technology.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I was like, why the. Y' all ain't just sitting the zoom link or the conference call. Y' all want me to do what? I merged. I FaceTimed my homeboy. He wondering why I'm FaceTiming him. And I'm like, Hold. I'm trying to FaceTime. No, I'm trying to just merge with. I said, hold on. That took me five minutes just to merge a call.

[Andrew Schultz]

I felt it like five years ago. Technology was passing me by. Why don't you stand over there?

[Taylor]

The art.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why don't you stand right over there?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I want everybody to see her snap back. That's all I was.

[Andrew Schultz]

Y' all said it. That's all I was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all Said it. That's the ho.

[Andrew Schultz]

She walked right in front of my camera.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nothing. I didn't eat no sugar. I see you.

[Andrew Schultz]

I see you. Back to wearing stripes. I see you. Back to wearing stripes. You got to get it back if you're wearing stripes now, huh? Okay, with all due respect. With all due respect, we was talking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Speaking.

[Andrew Schultz]

What type of mermaid would Taylor be?

[Taylor]

Excuse me?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not a Little Mermaid.

[Taylor]

I mean, a thick one, but it's

[Charlamagne Tha God]

not a little one. A little. About that mermaid.

[Taylor]

He right.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's all this guy right here.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's a mother.

[Taylor]

He just mad because I'm thinking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm thinking. No, you. You're not. Cut it out. Cut it out. There's only one stallion in here right now, okay? You could be a little pony.

[Taylor]

That's you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Now you are you. You're my little pony. You got that for sure.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Was shaming me because you said I eat fat, and I'm like, I almost died. No, you didn't, bro. Cut it out. Everybody always want to almost die nowadays. Either almost die or don't. Like, why people. I hate when people do that. Almost die. What the fuck? You did it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, why can't we almost.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because, man, we know what almost death looks like, all right? Yeah, I know you didn't almost die.

[Andrew Schultz]

I saw someone trying to catch a drop or whatever.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You see what I'm saying? But I didn't run in the building. But I almost died. You could have respect.

[Andrew Schultz]

We would have respected you if you did.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, that's too dramatic.

[Andrew Schultz]

I know you're not a drama queen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, Paul said. Didn't even say he almost died. He got shot.

[Andrew Schultz]

Where'd he get shot?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He said in the leg. Everybody was saying the ass, but he got shot in the leg.

[Andrew Schultz]

Getting shot in the ass is. That shit is super gay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. No.

[Andrew Schultz]

Imagine someone pulls out a pistol, you just poke your ass out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? He shot me in the ass. No, I think it's gay to shoot her. Why are you aiming for my ass, bro?

[Andrew Schultz]

Cause they want more holes in it. One hole ain't enough. I need to poke that thing multiple ways.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm gonna make my own hole. If you make your own hol. Hole in some cheeks.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, that's just.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

How does a mermaid. We never even figured that out with fish. And I know how fish.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I have a fish. Is mermaid the same?

[Andrew Schultz]

So you're saying a mermaid got a little booty hole?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because the mermaids are easily and clearly a vagina. Too. If they breeding, you gotta believe in mermaids, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Get the out of here. How do y' all not believe in mermaids?

[Andrew Schultz]

Maybe they existed once in a Chinese animal. Listen, what did the Chinese not eat? Chris, can you tell me one thing that the Chinese go. We draw the line right here.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Pussy. Not why they like being in Jamaica. That's why they like buying a property in Jamaica. Right now I'm here, finally, in a land that we don't have to eat buses, ok? That's what. That's what it is.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, do you think the Jamaicans are coming around? Like, is there, like a progressive Jamaican movement where they eat box?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. Jamaican women been telling you that. The guys been lying. I don't even know what. I don't even know what the flex is about that we don't eat. Boom, boom. Okay, okay. And more for us.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, why is that a flex to y'? All?

[Taylor]

It's not really.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's never been real. You share a blunt but wouldn't eat pussy. You share a joint but wouldn't eat pussy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, that's a good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You understand what I'm saying? Like, what's the. What is your re. I don't. By the way, I don't know what Jamaican's reasonings historically have been. I'm sure I've asked a couple in my lifetime, but I don't remember.

[Andrew Schultz]

That is. That is crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you find a little crying mermaid?

[Taylor]

I thought I did, but it wasn't that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got to see this. The eyes on this thing, man. But it was like, bam.

[Andrew Schultz]

Should I get it up or what?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know if you're gonna be able to find it. But the problem was it was a bunch of fishermen. One of them was holding the mermaid up like this, like, holding them up. The mermaid is terrified, crying for his life. Can't believe how he even ended up in this situation. You just swimming, minding your business in the ocean. These got a net out or whatever, and they catch you and they're just holding this shit up. And all of them are like, yeah, look at that. Throw this shit back in the water.

[Taylor]

Yeah, yeah. Mom is going to come, and then it's going to be a problem.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, what's she going to do about it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Once you get well, you never know. We don't know what kind of powers they got.

[Andrew Schultz]

What you do about it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I just want to know how he got away from his tribe. I can't believe I don't believe in mermaid.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I'm not against mermaids. What I don't believe. What I'm surprised by is that whales aren't violent. They are not whales is what I've

[Charlamagne Tha God]

been trying to tell you.

[Taylor]

Killer whales are very.

[Andrew Schultz]

Those are the only ones and they don't harm.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They only, only. They do that for food and they.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't even think killer whales eat humans.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't think.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think they do it only inside SeaWorld. I think outside of that, they never attack humans. Dead ass.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't attack nobody.

[Andrew Schultz]

So what I'm saying is there's this species of bee, there's a species of mammal, the whales. They are constantly being attacked and hunted by human beings. And yet they are not violent. They're completely passive. They never hurt the human beings. They could probably knock over every single boat that exists. Oh, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on, man. That looks like how pitiful that mermaid looks, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chris, don't. The. Are you rolling your eyes? Because that you. That is clearly real. Everything ain't AI guys.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, put that back, man. That's not nice. Oh, nah, that is kind of sad. They. You can't do awkafina like that, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Put her back in the water.

[Andrew Schultz]

Put. Put Aquafina back, man. Nah, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now, I'm not gonna lie. That'll probably get eaten because if you look at the body right, it's all fish. Almost like. You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

Like fish.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You get rid of the head.

[Andrew Schultz]

I thought it was going to be more you, more human, to be honest.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What I'm saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

Mostly fish.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You get rid of the head and the arms you like. There's really nothing to do with that but eat it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, you eating that one.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Put that little baby back, man. Oh, that pissed me off so bad. Why do humans always gotta with everything, man? Leave that alone. Put that thing back in the water.

[Taylor]

They have multiple. I'm looking. They have multiple videos, but it's different.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No.

[Andrew Schultz]

We don't know what we don't need.

[Taylor]

I guess this the same person but holding a different mermaid because they're trying

[Charlamagne Tha God]

to throw you off. You are not. Let me tell you something about AI this is my theory about Psyop. AI has been around forever.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There's probably so many things we saw that we thought were real, but was actually AI the whole time.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, I don't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And just name something. I mean, it's regular things that we saw that we were just looking at, like, oh, that was wild. It was probably AI this whole time. If they gave us the technology now, they've been. Had it. They've been sitting on this, bro. We saw the. They saw the. That. They got the. The. That can detect your heartbeat. They can identify you by your heartbeat, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

That is crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What the. What are we talking about?

[Andrew Schultz]

That is crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You think they just came up with this shit?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, it's like duct tape. Like duct tape NASA had way before they gave it to us. I'm not even trying to catch you. If you look at the old. You look at the old spaceships, it was basically duct tape. And then they probably got a better tape. And now we get the duct tape.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all still believe in that spaceship?

[Andrew Schultz]

Say again?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all still believe in that spaceship?

[Andrew Schultz]

Man, get me out of here. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm just showing you. That's the. This is just to throw us off. No, no, no, no.

[Andrew Schultz]

Get me out of here. I don't like. I don't even like looking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Remember when Tom Hanks fucked that mermaid? Remember Splash? Y' all don't remember Splash with Daryl Handle?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I. I do remember the movie, but I never watched it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That was crazy to me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cause I'm like, yo, Daryl Handle was like, you know, good looking for her time, right? Like, that was with the 80s, you know? I mean, I guess that was a good looking white woman.

[Andrew Schultz]

You could just say she's good looking. Why don't you just stamp that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cause over time.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, you gotta put a time period on it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So over time, you've seen better of that version.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I guess people do get more attractive.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, you know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

Teeth from the 70s were wild. It's crazy what we put up with. Have you seen teeth from the 70s? Like, even. Like major actors, like, you see them on a billboard with. With their regular teeth, it's insanity, right? They didn't care about teeth back in the day. They didn't care about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, but they didn't have veneers and shit yet back then. I know they have veneers and shit back then, but remember when he used to. I would always think about, yo, how trash were the women on land that he fell for a fucking mermaid?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, I get that. I get that. A little bit exotic because I don't think mermaids have periods because the sharks would eat them. Oh, so now you found a woman that doesn't menstruate, so you basically get

[Charlamagne Tha God]

25 of your month back and clearly no gag reflex.

[Andrew Schultz]

None.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They can suck you off for hours.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hours.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Don't even gotta.

[Andrew Schultz]

They don't even gotta Breathe. They got gills, so you really. He really. He really maximized, if you're thinking about it. He really maximized.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you have to get head underwater, though?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You could bring him up, because they can't. Oh, no.

[Andrew Schultz]

She's always as long as their gills are underwater.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's fire on the edge of the pool.

[Andrew Schultz]

You put her in a bath, you sit on the toilet.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all ain't never watched Flash?

[Andrew Schultz]

What? You put on a bath, you sit on it, you sit on the toilet, you get that suck.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all never watch Splash? I never watch Splash Splash, or you gotta watch Splash? Tom Hanks, Daryl Hannah, man, go watch the.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, Tom Hanks. The goat, though.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. I told y' all this already.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, but, like, we never bring him up in terms of every whole. But I don't. I go like, oh, Denzel is my goat. Or, like, oh, Leo's the goat. He's never kind of brought up in that discussion.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I've been saying Tom Hank, the greatest actor of all time, might be, man.

[Taylor]

You really think so? Yo, he might be compared to Leonardo DiCaprio washes Leo.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

How many cartoons Leo got Tom's gills? How many cartoons Leo got Tom Hanks got Toy Story that really shifts everything else.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Pull up Tom Hanks.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, run. Run the Tom Hanks catalog.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's not even dend before. I. I know. With Tom Hanks, it's not even close. Yo, this is Tom Hanks. Is it?

[Andrew Schultz]

Is it? Is it? Because we haven't seen him give, like, an emotional performance since.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Since what? There's not too many Tom Hans movies. You gonna watch and don't cry.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no. I'm talking about, like, what he did with Forest Gump or what he did.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cry tears.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, I know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cast Away Tears.

[Andrew Schultz]

Cast. Cast Away was Cast Away Auto tears. Yo, that movie.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

See, I told you. That movie right there. I tried to tell you.

[Andrew Schultz]

That movie right there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you cry?

[Andrew Schultz]

What do you mean, did I?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you, man?

[Andrew Schultz]

What you mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This motherfucker falls out on his bed, face down, ass up, and you. You cry, bro. You cry.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, the scene that got me was when the younger version of him took the girl that he was interested on a date, and then she ordered an entree, and he didn't order anything. Oh.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because he couldn't afford it.

[Andrew Schultz]

And then she's like, why aren't you having anything? He's like, I ate already. And then she's like. She says something. She pushes back again. She's like, but wait. But why don't you just order something. She's like. He's like, well, I wanted. I wanted to make sure that you could get whatever you wanted. That's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on, man. Tom Hanks. Got a new movie out now that. I ain't watch it. It's on Apple.

[Andrew Schultz]

Which one?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I can't remember the name of it, but I saw it. That's it right there. Taylor, what is that? You pulled up.

[Taylor]

I didn't mean to push up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, just pull up Tom Hanks movies. Tom Hanks movies. Yo, just pull up Tom Hank. Why he went to Rotten Tomatoes? Why y' all think Leo got anything on Tom Hanks, bro?

[Taylor]

He's a great actor.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, Leo's nice. He's nice, but he just might not have it on. Tom.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Everybody got a daddy, bro, and Tom is Tom's motherfucker's daddy. I don't even know where to sit. Start with. I can start with motherfucking Philadelphia. Before that, it was Sleepless in Seattle. Yo, he got classics like Turner and Hooch.

[Andrew Schultz]

Wow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Big Fire. I said that already. The man with one red suit. Splash.

[Andrew Schultz]

How old is he?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Phenomenal. Okay, Angels and Demons. Da Vinci Code.

[Guest/Contributor]

Forrest Gump.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Forrest Gump. Inferno. Big. Come on, man. What is it? What was that shit called? What was the joint for? The King movie called. He played Mr. Rogers.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Was he Apollo 13?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He was in Apollo 13. A beautiful day in the neighborhood. Come on, man.

[Taylor]

Man with the red. With one.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Man with the one. One with man. Red shoes. Sully.

[Andrew Schultz]

I didn't with Sully.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You didn't with Sully? Come on, you had to. With Saving Private Ryan, Saving Prior.

[Andrew Schultz]

God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Tom Hanks, man. The Green Mile.

[Guest/Contributor]

Oh, wow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Stop playing with Tom fucking Hanks, bro. Ain't no. It's nobody better. And it's one thing to be a great actor. It's another to be in so many great films.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, to shoot at this percentage.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm saying. There's a lot of great actors. Like Denzel is a great actor, but every film Denzel has been in isn't great.

[Andrew Schultz]

Denzel hits at a high percentage. Leo hits at a high percentage.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They do.

[Andrew Schultz]

They do like the real greats, Barely floppy.

[Taylor]

Experiment more.

[Andrew Schultz]

Say what?

[Taylor]

I want to see him experiment more. I feel like he plays his. The same personality, but when he does

[Andrew Schultz]

experiment, he wins the Oscar.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Taylor]

No, for sure. I'm.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm agreeing with you. I'm like. Every time he steps out of, like, the prototypical Denzel role, he's celebrated for it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There's been two roles that Denzel has played to me, that I didn't see Denzel. Malcolm X in Training Day.

[Andrew Schultz]

Training Day.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Everything else was a lot of detail. John Q. John Q, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

John Q will make you cry, bro.

[Taylor]

Every single.

[Andrew Schultz]

When he pulls that trigger and it doesn't go off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The reason I put John Q in there is because I don't feel like Denzel would ever be in a situation where he's desperate like that.

[Andrew Schultz]

What's the. What's the fuck you gonna do?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What the fuck I told you to do? You're gonna give my son this heart.

[Taylor]

The worst movie Denzel's been in for me right now is the Higher Learning or something with asap.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That was good.

[Taylor]

That was why everybody said that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I didn't agree with that. I watched it.

[Taylor]

So wait, you need to make me understand the ending, because what was that? Where they split the screen and you see Denzel, like, listening to his song. But was that, like, this imaginary or. I'm mad confused.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I like that movie. Everybody said that was whack. I thought it was. I thought it was dope.

[Andrew Schultz]

Now, what was the movie that let's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What was so bad about it? I'm saying, first of all, Denzel's playing

[Taylor]

like this wannabe, like man on Fire.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That was dope.

[Taylor]

Hip hop, old person. It was.

[Andrew Schultz]

That movie was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Man on Fire was dope.

[Andrew Schultz]

The man on Fire.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He wasn't a hip hop old person. He was a mogul. He was a. Yeah, and he was.

[Taylor]

It's just. It was terrible.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He was the new movie with the. With ASAP rock. He's a music mogul. A$AP grew up idolizing him. Basically. ASAP wanted to be signed to him, but ASAP ends up kidnapping his child and holding him for ransom.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, interesting.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, that's. I didn't see what was wrong with the movie. I enjoyed it.

[Taylor]

That's the summary of it. But the acting and everything was trash.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not from Denzel. Not even from asap. Everybody told me that movie was trash. I watched it and I was like, this shit was not nowhere near as bad. So what did you think?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but the bar was low. Cause everybody said it was ass.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I thought it was cool. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the movie.

[Andrew Schultz]

The true test.

[Taylor]

Biting on the train that she was not even believable.

[Andrew Schultz]

The true test to a movie being fantastic is when everybody tells you it's fantastic and your cynical ass goes in wanting to prove them all wrong. And you still love it. Because once you tell me a movie's amazing, I'm going in There. Like, these motherfuckers don't know shit about cinema. And then if it blows me away, I'm like, all right, you got it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is incredible, man. That didn't. I enjoyed the Denzel and ASAP movie. I don't know what.

[Andrew Schultz]

Even your tone right now is. Like, you're different for enjoying it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. I didn't. I'm like. I really trying to figure out what was so bad about it. I've seen some bad movies.

[Taylor]

Please, please watch it.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm a watch.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm not gonna feel bad about it.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not gonna do it because I can't get those hours back.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why not? Why? What's so bad about

[Guest/Contributor]

was the directing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who directed Directing?

[Taylor]

It was Spike Lee.

[Guest/Contributor]

Didn't look premiere like.

[Taylor]

It looked like the background was trash. What was the name of it hired?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Highest.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, highest to lowest. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris]

Y' all love games.

[Taylor]

The background of it was trash.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You could tell, like, background.

[Andrew Schultz]

But Spike. Spike needs a banger, bro. Spike is nasty, but he needs another banger.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I enjoy it.

[Taylor]

Wasn't that one?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I know what I'm saying. It's like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm not saying it was a banger, but I enjoyed it. It was a good watch.

[Taylor]

What. Are you rating it?

[Andrew Schultz]

What's the last Spike banger out of one?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Out of ten?

[Taylor]

Yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hold on. We're having two different strong six, maybe. All right, six is fine.

[Taylor]

I'm giving it a four.

[Andrew Schultz]

What's. What's the last Spike banger? The one when they rob Inside Man.

[Guest/Contributor]

Inside Man.

[Andrew Schultz]

Inside man was one of the best movies I ever see. It's classic Spike Lee. It, like, the New York characters bleed through the screen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, 50 was gonna name Diddy's doc that. You didn't hear that. He's gonna name it Inside Man. You didn't know that? Y' all didn't know that? That's crazy. Y' all didn't know that. What was so good about it?

[Andrew Schultz]

You're crazy. You never saw it with Clive Owen.

[Guest/Contributor]

Oh, it's really good.

[Andrew Schultz]

First of all, the script is genius. Like, genius. The. The twist is fantastic. And then it's just classic Spike. Like, every scene is just amazingly shot and, like, perfect tension. And, like, Spike does this thing with New York characters, specifically where, like, the cop will be the most New York guy. The guy at the halal stand will, like. You'll feel like they're not an actor. Like, they actually worked the halal stand. And he hired him. So anyway, that's his zone for me. But I Want to see something like that from Spike.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How many bangers do you need, though? And what I mean by that is,

[Andrew Schultz]

as a director, as an actor.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Either we say Spike needs a banger, but it's like, directly you need one. You only as hot as your last shit, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but director, you need one, and then if your last shit flops, they'll give you one more shot. If that shit flops, you're pretty much out the game. And. But if you have like three or four hit, you could miss for a few and you still get opportunities.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Would you rather have one universally, you know, known classic, or would you rather have a Tom Hanks catalog? Because that can work against you sometimes your catalog can be so great that people forget how good you are.

[Andrew Schultz]

We expect it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

We expect it to be good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Straight up. Would you rather have that one? Because I think. Think about somebody like Lauryn Hill. Right? Miseducation. Lauryn Hill, one phenomenal classic album.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But then you think about, like, somebody like a Mary J. Blige, who has a extensive catalog. You kind of take her for granted.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I guess it depends.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, they put. They put Mary on. They put Lauren on the pedestal I think Mary should be on.

[Andrew Schultz]

Did you? Did you. Well, it depends what you want. It's like, is your goal in life to perfect a thing, or is your goal in life to continue creating? Because if your goal in life creatively is to perfect a thing and then you do that, then you did it. You accomplish your goal. Like, everything after that is gravy. If your goal in life is to continuously create, then Tom's career, without a doubt, is like, every. Come on. But, like, Lauren put out an undeniable, undeniable body. Most human beings that create things, not just music, will never be able to replicate.

[Chris]

But she didn't release anything else. That's what makes her different.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's.

[Chris]

But I can't even then compare that

[Andrew Schultz]

to her other shit.

[Chris]

Yeah, there is no other.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I know.

[Chris]

She literally never.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So that's a good point.

[Chris]

So is that an Unplugged with MTV a couple years. She literally. There's no precedent of someone releasing an album which was that successful commercially and critically and then just never doing anything.

[Guest/Contributor]

Andre 3000.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's put out a solo album. He never put out a solo album.

[Guest/Contributor]

I mean, but the dual album was kind of a solo.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But no, Andre had a bunch of body work. He had a bunch of body.

[Chris]

You can say Lauren has that with

[Charlamagne Tha God]

sort of kind of Yeah, I don't know. I like.

[Chris]

That's not a bad comparison.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I like what you're saying, though, because maybe that's why we take people for granted. Right. Cause you start comparing, they're competing with themselves at that point.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So you start comparing them to things that they're doing, and if they try something, like, let's say Tom Hanks comes out with a new movie, or JJ Blotch or Denzel came out with this movie that y' all don't think is that good, so now you start discrediting all this other stuff just because your last impression was this.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's McDonald's, bro. It's like, it's McDonald's or it's chick fil A versus whatever. It's like consistency. If you have a Big Mac, right, imagine you never had one your life and you have a Big Mac. That Big Mac will be better than, like, 99% of the burgers you will have at restaurants around the world. It really will. Like, you could have a burger at a restaurant. So I got his bun is mad dry. Or like, I don't like the fucking saw. This is plain. Or it's whatever. It's restaurant, not fast food. So you put in a different category, but in terms of, like, you eating it and you actually being satisfied by the experience, you're like, the Big Mac is does the job. But because no matter where you go on the planet, you can get that same tasting. Big Mac. We don't even put in the category

[Charlamagne Tha God]

of food is because. Well, also, you get to a McDonald's

[Andrew Schultz]

started cutting McDonald's fries. McDonald's fries are better than 99 of fries you're gonna get in any restaurant. Like, you know, a mermaid, ain't, you know? What do you mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not fries.

[Chris]

It's cardboard and perfume, basically.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They don't use real potatoes.

[Andrew Schultz]

Of course they do.

[Chris]

This fast food nation breaks it down.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Back in my day, they used to use real potatoes. Animals that used to cook them with. And Malcolm Gladwell had a great podcast on. On Revisionist History. What was that, Chris?

[Andrew Schultz]

How about I just eat it until my toes fall? How about I do that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They used to cook them in transaction. What was this? It wasn't, you know, trans fat.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

It's going to transition my feet into off my body. That's what it's going to do.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's trans fat. It's really oil, but it identifies as, like, something else delicious. But think about it. We'll never eat McDonald's the same ever again, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

What you mean by that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Think about being a child and begging your parents for McDonald's. And they'd be like, we got McDonald's at the house. But then, you know, you might end up going to get something from McDonald's. And that shit used to just taste different in the 80s. Tastes different in the 90s.

[Andrew Schultz]

Tell me, tell me if we're being honest here. You go to a fucking restaurant, a nice restaurant.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And you have french fries there. Are they more satisfying than McDonald's fries?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. Our chick fil a fry.

[Andrew Schultz]

But we don't even put McDonald's fries, like, in the conversation of best friends. We're not supposed to.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They tell us we're not postal. Yeah, exactly.

[Andrew Schultz]

But to your point about when you have a body of work that's so consistent, we take it for granted.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, you're right.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, I would even go like, yo, McDonald's might be underrated. Like, even the Sunday at McDonald's, like the McFlurries, right? You go have ice cream somewhere else.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Better than the McFlurry is fired. Oreo McFlurry, but regular vanilla sundae with the chocolate fudge and the nuts on it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Tell me when you go get the fancy ice cream for fucking $10 waiting online in the street, New York. You think it's better than that? Okay, here we go. Apple pie.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

The apple pie from McDonald's.

[Taylor]

My mother's apple spies way much better.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Your mom is.

[Andrew Schultz]

Mom is built different and she's not doing it around the world, in every single country exactly the same.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Last time I had McDonald's, I was leaving a Lil Duvall comedy show. This was years ago when we were in D.C. no, this was. He was in New Brunswick at Vince Stress Factory. And, man, for some reason, I think I took a puff of Duvall's weed and I got the munchies and something said, I want fucking McDonald's. And I went to McDonald's and got the two double cheese burgers.

[Andrew Schultz]

That was my meal. I never went. Big Mac fries, cheeseburger. Every single time.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Two apple pies.

[Andrew Schultz]

Barbecue sauce went perfect with nuggets, though. I never with the nuggets. I never with nuggets.

[Taylor]

Wendy's has better chicken nuggets, though.

[Andrew Schultz]

I would agree.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Wendy's got. Wendy's got great french fries on the low, too.

[Taylor]

They used to when they changed it to the red, the red. Was the red French still flat? No, when they had the yellow brand. The French Fried Holder 5.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When they had the Yellow.

[Taylor]

How would I know about it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Instagram. You are 34.

[Taylor]

No, I remember.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Live with a yellow pack. Yes.

[Taylor]

How old do you think I am?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm saying all that to say. I'm saying all that to say. Shout out to Crystal, man. Crystal is where you really want to go get your fast food.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, shout out Crystal.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They got one in Orangeburg, South Carolina. That's phenomenal. One in Walterboro, South Carolina. That's phenomenal. Crystal.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, we gotta really.

[Taylor]

In Jamaica.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's kfc Fire, too.

[Taylor]

Jamaica.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never went to one in Jamaica. I went to the one in Iceland. Nah, if it's another island, it's still gonna taste Grenada.

[Taylor]

It's still gonna taste good. Because however they make it, go to

[Andrew Schultz]

KFC in, like, a country where they care about their people, right? And there's rules and what goes in the food. Oh, my God. KFC in Iceland is crazy.

[Guest/Contributor]

No, but you know what's crazy? I went to one in Barcelona. They have the American chicken or chicken. And so the American KFC chicken, it's way saltier than what they get.

[Andrew Schultz]

You can choose.

[Guest/Contributor]

You can choose American Fried or just regular.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Where should you prefer theirs?

[Guest/Contributor]

Because ours is crazy salty.

[Taylor]

Where was this at?

[Guest/Contributor]

In Barcelona.

[Taylor]

Really?

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's gonna give you that choice.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And Chucky Fried.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You ever had that? Yeah, not yet.

[Guest/Contributor]

How was it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I'm just asking. I don't know. I never had that. I never tried it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I see you licking your lips.

[Andrew Schultz]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

What else we got, Taylor? Let's get into some. All memes matter. Taylor, what is happening this week?

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, that volleyball. The zesty volleyball player. You gotta sign that guy to every nil Deal.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I haven't seen it.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is what we've been waiting for. We need a zesty athlete that dominates.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What is the volleyball got zesty.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, just watch. Watch. I saw this guy. Look at this man. Look. No, no, you got to see him slam it. He eats a little turn and then he goes, oh.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yeah, he eats that KFC for sure. He likes his Kentucky fry.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

Bye.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay, bye. Okay, that man is not by. Don't disrespect him. That man is straight.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, Jesus, that's a.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's pure gay.

[Andrew Schultz]

But this is what you need. This is what we need because sports.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why do y' all think he's gay, Man, Stop. I mean, I was going along with the joke, but what makes him gay?

[Andrew Schultz]

You believe in braids, but not that. This guy is gay.

[Taylor]

What do you mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He just seemed passionate to me. He's a passion fruit.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're so annoying.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't think so?

[Taylor]

I love the little head turn afterwards.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, this is fire, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, he's passionate, man. What's his name?

[Andrew Schultz]

Number Two.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did they win?

[Andrew Schultz]

At least that's fire, that. His name is Number Two.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Is it like that? Is it numbered? Like value meals?

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

One would be a flow job.

[Andrew Schultz]

I just feel like Two.

[Chris]

He's.

[Andrew Schultz]

He's a top for sure.

[Taylor]

He might be top, though.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He might be top toe. Shout out to homie, man. Yeah, they even got his next games listed. What's it. Oh, his name is Jordan.

[Andrew Schultz]

Jordan K. Lucas.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jordan K. Lucas. Do your thing, Jordan.

[Andrew Schultz]

Get your fucking money, Jordan. You deserve it. You're about to be an Internet sensation.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm gonna be honest with you. They made him in a lab.

[Andrew Schultz]

Of course.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Like. Like, when I see stuff like this, I'm like, all right. He ain't just. Ain't come out of nowhere. This all of a sudden. Oh, he killing it. No, go to the one with him with the Chinese fan. That's fire right there. Oh, that. He played basketball, too. That's the volleyball team.

[Taylor]

That's volleyball.

[Andrew Schultz]

You think he's Hawaiian?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think he might be Jordan. And he got the pink J's on.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, he leaning in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yo, yo, yo. I was born this way, bro. You can't even, like. You can't script that. You know what I'M saying you can't shout out to Pooh Sashi. That's Pooh Sashy. Pooh Sashi right there. Okay? That's Pooh Sassy working Jordan. Shout out to Jordan.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think he's Hawaiian, man. Hawaii's got a long legacy of phenomenal gay volleyball players.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Get the fuck out of here.

[Andrew Schultz]

Really? The gays are the best at volleyball out there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What you mean? How you figure that?

[Andrew Schultz]

It's just the truth. That's what. They got, like a wrist thing. I'm telling you, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They.

[Andrew Schultz]

They got it. Ask them, bro. They got a whole.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What you mean they got a wrist thing?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, they have a league. They got, like, a mahu volleyball league.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Really?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, well, shout out to them. That's dope. I mean, list. If certain areas can breed, you know, basketball players, football players, why not have a place that can breed volleyball players, man?

[Andrew Schultz]

I agree with you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

I agree with you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I ain't mad at it. What else we got, Taylor? Caitlyn Jenner, a hypocrite. What Caitlyn do?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, not Caitlyn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What did Caitlyn do, man?

[Andrew Schultz]

Not Caitlyn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What did Caitlyn do?

[Taylor]

He's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on, let me see. Let me. Oh, Caitlyn's on with Tommy Lauren. Let me read.

[Taylor]

Hold on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let me read.

[Taylor]

Sure. It's a volume.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Caitlyn. Caitlyn can't get no emotion, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

She really can't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Caitlyn can't get no motion. You know how lame you got to be? And you can't get no motion as a Jenner or a trans. You know what I'm saying? You're a transgender. You can't get no motion. How you a transgender and can't get no emotion? He say anything? He try to get hot. Do anything to try to get hot and can't get hot, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nothing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What. What's this transgender talk about?

[Taylor]

Basically, he's. Jenner said that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let me read it, Taylor, because you just want to confuse me. What did it say? Caitlyn Jenner calls self a hypocrite for accepting women of Glamorous Women of the year. We knew this already.

[Andrew Schultz]

What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You Fuck you telling us Shit. We already know. Press play. We knew that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Here I am fighting the battle to keep biological men out of women's sports,

[Charlamagne Tha God]

okay?

[Andrew Schultz]

Because it's. It's not right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It just is not right, okay?

[Andrew Schultz]

And I want to protect women.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Here I am fighting this battle.

[Andrew Schultz]

Biological men out of women's sports. But back when I came out what did I accept? Glamorous Woman of the year award.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I go, what a hypocrite. I'm still ex wife.

[Andrew Schultz]

What a hypocrite. I am, you know, trying to keep biological men at a women's sports. But I'm a biological man, and they gave me Glamorous woman of the year award.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's not. No wild out of here.

[Guest/Contributor]

No, I mean, she's trans being transphobic.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She been that.

[Andrew Schultz]

She been that. I want to know. Yeah, I want to know who's hitting it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She's.

[Taylor]

She's still got a thing that's hitting it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

She's still got to think she likes girls.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's why. That's why I never understood when she first came out, people got mad at me because I said, oh, she's a lesbian.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, yes, she is a lesbian.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Uh oh. I would think if you're. If you're a woman, if we're recognizing her as a woman, you'd be lesbian. Exactly. So I never understood why people got mad when I said that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Here's the problem. When you're pop. When you got a lot of, like, estrogen in your system, your dick gets. Doesn't get hard easy, do they?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Does she got estrogen?

[Andrew Schultz]

She must. If she's taking the hormones to be feminized.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She's still getting morning wood in the morning, man. You don't think so?

[Andrew Schultz]

I think the balls have shriveled, to be completely honest. If she is taking the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, damn.

[Taylor]

What the hell?

[Andrew Schultz]

Cut the top off. Nah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Shows over there getting bricked up. That mother excited.

[Andrew Schultz]

My bad. But yeah, I want to know who's hitting it or who she's hitting, man. Who's she dating? How is that not. Is this the only gender that we don't know about that.

[Taylor]

No, she don't care. She comes out with it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I care. Yo the men and yo the men in that family. Bro, bro, like, don't nobody give a about Rob. Like, if you did the motion chart, bro, like, from hot to coldness, all the guys are at the bottom.

[Andrew Schultz]

All the guys are like, low key is they went through it, man. There might be like a curse we had that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what? Somebody said that to me the other day. But there's like, that's not as true as people say it is.

[Andrew Schultz]

Talk to me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chris Humphries owns mad fast food franchises. Like, Chris Humphries is like, caked up somewhere to me.

[Andrew Schultz]

He's not a Jenner, though.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So you mean like the biological.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm talking about like, if you got the blood? Cause I think the curse runs through the blood.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, you know, there's a. There's a. There's a.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's a blood curse.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There's a conspiracy theory that all of the women use Rob. So they got Rob fat, and then they started using his fat for, like, their injections and shit like that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Do you know who started that conspiracy theory?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who?

[Andrew Schultz]

A guy named Andrew Schultz on a brilliant idiots podcast about a decade ago.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Holy shit. It was you. Holy shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's how long we've been podcasting, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They made it wrong.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's how long we've been podcasting. Yo, it might have been you. Actually.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I don't remember. I don't fucking remember.

[Andrew Schultz]

It was one of us, though. It was.

[Guest/Contributor]

I do remember you. We said here, but I think it was you, Charles.

[Andrew Schultz]

It might have been you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You think we made Rob going to hide because we ain't seen him since?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, well, they still need it. I think once they stop the injections,

[Taylor]

they not do it no more. I thought.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, what do you mean? What they're not doing?

[Taylor]

I thought they stopped. They're like reducing it, everything.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Reducing what?

[Taylor]

They're injecting. Like, Kim got rid of hers.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but they got them in cold storage just in case they could trend the other way. Fat ass could come back in, and they're going to need that. You know what I mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't think she lost her ass. Why did you pull up Sophia Hutchins?

[Taylor]

They were together, you said. Who was she dating?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, get the out of here.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, you know who that is? Sophia Hutchins.

[Guest/Contributor]

Who is that?

[Andrew Schultz]

American socialite. What a title.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She dates Caitlyn Jenner. That says Caitlyn Jenner's friend and man, she's dead.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, man. R.I.P. see?

[Taylor]

Oh, my God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but she died.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hold on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm not saying it. Hold on. That headline says, Sophia Hutchins, Caitlyn Jenner's friend and manager, dead.

[Taylor]

That's not. That's not her.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Click on it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Taylor. Taylor, what's going on?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What are you doing?

[Taylor]

That's what they showed me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. Sophia Hutchins, Caitlyn Jenner's furniture manager, dead at 29.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What is wrong with you? Taylor.

[Andrew Schultz]

Taylor, hold on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Rest in peace.

[Andrew Schultz]

God rest the desk.

[Taylor]

Wait, wait.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My God.

[Taylor]

Wait. They live together? They. Stop. They lived together. They shared a dog and were called often.

[Andrew Schultz]

A couple obituary. That'd be funny to do. That'd be funny to do. Put the obituary out. Like when you transition.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think you should have To.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's heavy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Funny, because they say, don't call me by my dead name. I think it is.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's called dead naming. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All right, so if my name is dead, then, hey, he's dead. You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

Killed him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I mean? What else we got? What else happened this week, Taylor? What else happened this week?

[Taylor]

Your boy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who's my boy?

[Taylor]

Wants to be Jesus.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, you gotta stop, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Pull it up.

[Andrew Schultz]

Trump. Gotta stop.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Trump wants Trump's.

[Taylor]

So he put this one out, and he has another one out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's another one he put out. No, this is the funny shit. Hold on.

[Andrew Schultz]

He said, I'm a doctor, but no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you hear the story behind this? Pam Bondi came out and said the picture was doctored. So they must have told Trump that picture was doctored.

[Andrew Schultz]

He's retarded. He's definitely retarded. They're like, the picture was doctor, but you know the crazy thing about this picture? Try to find the original image and then the one he posted because they got a satanic imagery above him. So that middle figure right there. Look at the top figures that are shadowed. The middle figure, they kind of warp to make look like. It kind of looks like this guy, Ball or whatever like that. I don't know if you've seen that imagery. It's just a regular soldier in the original image. The one he posted got the satanic imagery. Wow. So. So what do we think of this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think that everybody's retarded and.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, that's true.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When Pam Bondi says this picture was Doc.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at, look at. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not the original. You got to find the original. The OG hold on, let me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What do you mean satanic images? Now I got a fucking.

[Andrew Schultz]

And that one right there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That.

[Guest/Contributor]

It used to just be a regular soldier. Soldier. And they added the little horn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So what is this picture right here I'm looking at? Is this the original?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no, no. This is the doctored image. We could.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't understand. When they say doctored.

[Andrew Schultz]

Photoshopped.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but we know that. Like, why do we have to say that?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no, meaning there was another image of it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no, no. But what I'm saying is, why did Pam Bondi have to tell us the image was doctored? We know it was doctored. Donald Trump is not Jesus. So what was the point of her saying it's a doctored photo? Would be like if me and you took a picture right now.

[Andrew Schultz]

And we put some dicks in it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? Like that would be doctored. Why did they have to tell us this was doctored?

[Andrew Schultz]

What I think is interesting about this is he took this picture down right immediately when the Christians were upset. He took that shit down. And he didn't take the Obama video down. That it made them monkeys.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, the reality is racism is light compared to blasphemy of Jesus Christ.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think the reality is, is what's my base care about? And I think the reality is like I don't care if black people are upset about this shit. I care if Christians are upset about this shit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Of course his base. Listen. Yeah. You cater into a racist base. Of course.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't think it makes the base racist. I think it makes the based Christian.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But no, I'm not talking about with the Obama, with the monkeys. You have to be catering to the racist in your base.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

To post that and leave it up.

[Andrew Schultz]

Or catering to. Yes, Catering to them there or not. Concerned if you piss off black people?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Of course not.

[Guest/Contributor]

No.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Guest/Contributor]

I think both. Yeah, both.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a lot of black Christians. He must not know, you know what I'm saying?

[Chris]

Well, you also have to take the religion out of it to me because I don't care if he posts himself as Jesus. I'm not offended by that because I don't believe in Jesus, but the type of Jesus Christ, Chris, I don't. But the type of imagery.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, you do that.

[Chris]

I don't, but yeah, you do. How?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't know what's worse, posting a being Jesus or not believing in Jesus. I think not believing in Jesus might be worse. Chris, what do you believe? What do you not believe about Jesus? You know, everything Jesus, please forgive him, yo.

[Taylor]

I mean, what do you believe?

[Andrew Schultz]

He knows not what he does, man. He's been indoctrinated with chines. Say again.

[Chris]

I grew up in a very Catholic neighborhood, almost 100% Catholic. I was one of the few non Catholic families. I have a very distinct memory of going to my mother as a young child and being like, who the fuck is this Jesus guy that wants up?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, that's a notebook. That's wild right out.

[Chris]

I'll tell you what the conversation was.

[Andrew Schultz]

What she say? She said we killed that back in the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chill out. Chill out.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm just saying that's what his mom said, is that we all own mom said they killed him and then blamed

[Charlamagne Tha God]

it on the Romans. God, I Don't. I don't know what got into them today.

[Andrew Schultz]

She said, what you put in me and his little satanic For. I'm telling some you what his blasphemous mom.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I get what you're saying, but I don't want to role play that. Don't even put yourself in Chinese slippers. But go. Okay. Go on.

[Chris]

Jewish slippers.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jewish. I'm sorry.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Chris]

She said, you know, Jesus was a great man, but. But just a man. Just a great human being. I said, that makes sense to me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I mean, listen. Yeah, but that's still. Anyway, but that still don't make me. I don't understand why you don't believe in him then.

[Andrew Schultz]

You believe he was a man.

[Chris]

Hey, he's a great man. He had some great ideas.

[Andrew Schultz]

So you believe in Jesus, right?

[Chris]

I don't believe that he was the son of God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Of course he was. Cause we're all children of God.

[Andrew Schultz]

We're splitting hairs, my boy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You believe in Jesus?

[Andrew Schultz]

Jesus?

[Chris]

I believe there was a Jesus.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's. That's the step.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But that's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's the first step.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I'm gonna reel you in.

[Chris]

And the last, we gonna reel you

[Andrew Schultz]

in like a fresh jellyfish, my boy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He could be a great prophet, great messenger.

[Chris]

Listen, I've. I had uncles who every Christmas I would get the Bible with Jesus's words in red. They've been trying to flip me for, you know, decades. I'm good. Anyway, what I'm saying is, for me, the issue is the type of imagery that's being used, this type of iconography, like that's what you saw from Mao, that's what you saw from Stalin. That's what you see in North Korea. It's the imagery that's the issue. More so than the Jesus to me as our president, is this omnipotent, all powerful figure who savior. You can't do that, man. Yeah, yeah, that's a dictatorship.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, don't worry. They're not falling for it. They're fucking pissed.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What happened to the separation between church and church and state?

[Andrew Schultz]

Now we're talking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, what happened though?

[Andrew Schultz]

There's a part of me that thinks we might need, like, the Pope to just step in because Pope Leo's been cooking yo.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Him shitting on the Pope was crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but Pope Leo pressing him too. Pope Leo's a Chicago gangster.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Here's my thing with Pope Leo. What did he say wrong? Other than he wants peace? Don't we all want peace?

[Chris]

Soft on crime.

[Andrew Schultz]

He Was soft on crime.

[Chris]

Soft on crime.

[Andrew Schultz]

I will. Hey, listen, and not to give Trump some credit here, but, like, you know, Catholic Church could be a little tougher on one specific type of crime, you know, but so could Trump.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But Trump gotta keep his own house, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

Maybe that's why they're beefing. Maybe it's like, I'm the best pedophile protector. No, I'm the best pedophile protector. That's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's the class back for Pope Leo. Don't come over here trying to clean up our house. You better clean up your house.

[Andrew Schultz]

Clean it up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Andrew Schultz]

Clean it up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What if Trump be like, they were in the Epstein file.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah. And he's like, we had our own files. We had our own. We moved them around. Yeah, but what if that's what the Pope was like? Yo, at least we moved them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Schultz]

You guys still let them stay in government business, that is. And control the world.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It is sad that people love to cover up child sex crimes, bro. I don't know what's sadder. The fact that so many people participate in them are that so many people like to cover them up. Both. Well, both.

[Guest/Contributor]

Both is bad, but the participating is way worse.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know. It's not way to me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, it's not way. Yeah, you said way. It ain't way.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's worse. It ain't that many wise, but yeah, it's worse. But it's not way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, because if I wa. If I'm watching it, you right there. I'm right there. And I'm like, yo, yo, don't.

[Andrew Schultz]

If you protect somebody that's doing that to kids, you just as bad, bro. I don't care. Oh, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Maybe what? I mean, probably worse.

[Andrew Schultz]

Don't even make the argument.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not only. No, no, probably. You know the reason I say probably worse? Cause it's like you would participate to me. Like, you don't get no stripes because you see it going down. You cover it up and then, you know, try to keep it from people. Cause you're not trying to protect nobody.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's not bank robbery.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's not bank robbery.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I mean? Like, you're not an accomplice. This is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's worse than being an accomplice to me. This is worse than being an accomplice. I know that this person is committing child sex crimes. I'm not covering it up. I'm not turning the person in.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm just continuing to watch this shit go on how could you live with yourself?

[Guest/Contributor]

But what about for the priest? And they're looking at it like, oh, well, this priest delivers the message and he does so much good. So it's like, yeah, they could be looking at it that way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, because God don't got nothing to do with this. The word of God can stand without, you know, the person who's preaching it. You don't need a messenger to understand the word of God.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, Catholics would say that you do. That would be the distinction for Catholics.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I would say that too. If I'm trying to get a bunch of little boy asses, I wouldn't want to stay in a position of power and try to be the guy all the time. Goddamn, I would. I would tell everybody, y' all can't get to him without me.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And then point to your penis.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but I also think that, like, the Catholic Church arises at a time where not everybody had the ability to read. So literacy rates weren't high. So you needed people to communicate the Bible to the. To you, and you needed people to, like, help you understand the metaphors that existed within the Bible. Bible. Now we take for granted everybody's literary. So like the modern Christian, the. Was it like the Episcopalian or evangelical or like basically the Protestant Reformation happens after the printing press, if I'm not mistaken.

[Chris]

Also remember what the Catholic Church, how they gave their mass originally too.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's in Latin, right?

[Chris]

Right. No one speaks Latin.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but you could have. You could have direct discourse with your priests. Right, but that's the whole point.

[Chris]

The priest is the conduit, the only conduit, because literally the language, the message

[Andrew Schultz]

is being spoken and there. So there's negative sides to that. Right, of course. But there's also positive sides to it, I think, because you've also seen a lot of people kind of. I don't want to. I'm always delicate with religion. But like, you've maybe seen people, like, morph and change what the meaning of the book is to their own preferences. And I'm sure the Catholic Church has done that throughout history as well. I'm not saying every single person is perfect, but like, when you are held accountable by one person that the church figures feel like is the most pious and responsible man. It's a little different than when you have like an offshoot church that is just directed on the Bible. And then you can get people do crazy and justice, justify it by pages

[Charlamagne Tha God]

in that book, but it should be held together by one entity, which is God. Because I would have to assume that belief in a higher power came way before organized religion.

[Andrew Schultz]

Of course. But like, we know that man will use God to do heinous acts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, what's the first thing that this motherfucker did when they're trying to get us to believe in this war? That makes no sense. It's like Hegseth is talking shit about it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God wanted him.

[Andrew Schultz]

God wanted us to do this. You really got, got no reason for us to be over there if you, if you going to God immediately. It's like what you say when, when a comedian's bombing and he goes, give it up to God. So when America's bombing, we go, give it up to God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's like, yo, shout out to God. God be treating us like YouTube, bro. He treats, he treats earthlings the way

[Andrew Schultz]

I treat YouTube, where you're just like,

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I watch it, I'm entertain. But I don't. I ain't moved by none of that y' all saying about me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying, cuz? There's no way cuz God should have been pressure washed. All of this, all of the lies we done put on God, man. Man, people swear to God every day on every day,

[Andrew Schultz]

every damn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm one of them and not no more. I used to swear to God about so, so much stupid, yo, but you know why? Cuz I really could do that, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

I was at.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When I told you I had a 72 inch vertical leave, you believed it. I. I did it.

[Chris]

You did it.

[Andrew Schultz]

I believe you did it too. Still lying. That's not a lie.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen, if you're 52 and you dunk a 10 foot basketball goal, he. He was. How high are you in the air?

[Andrew Schultz]

I think you were 72 inches above some part of earth. I just don't think it was the, the part where you was jumping from. But there was a part of earth that was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If you five two, five, three and dunk a ten foot basketball.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's the that probably like 50 plus 40, probably. You know what I'm saying? 50 plus inch vertical leaf inches. That was me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. Yeah, probably that was me. I was at, I was at church this past Sunday, this church in, in Harlem that my wife goes to regularly and I try to go to. And I just, I don't want to make myself seem like I'm very consistent. I'm casual in it, but I really enjoy it and I have a great time. It's called Renaissance in Harlem. It's absolutely fantastic. And there's the, the Pastor, this guy named Corvinus. And he said this for not. He had this amazing, amazing, amazing sermon. And he was talking about, like, sometimes we get to the point where we want to. We. We want to con. He would. He would want to convince people of the truth of God so much, and he would be, like, debating and debating and debating, and he's like, what's the point of winning the argument if you lose your friend? And it was just this really interesting framework, which is like, love thy neighbor is what God wants you to do. He doesn't want you to win your neighbor. He doesn't want you to, like, beat the life out of them until they finally submit. It's like sometimes being kind to that person and loving that person, even if you guys disagree on something, is the more holy thing to do. And it's a. It was like, a really good reminder, because our ego gets in the way sometimes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

When you're debating or arguing and you just want to be right, especially with the people we're closest to.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think that's one of the. Is it one of the 48 laws of power? Never win, never win through argument. Like, you never want to win. You never want to win something through argument or something like that?

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know. But it just.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know.

[Andrew Schultz]

That shit resonated with me. It's like, what's the point of. Of winning if you lose the connection with that person?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's like, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

[Andrew Schultz]

What if you're fucking right, then, hey, if you're right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yeah. Never went through argument, went through actions.

[Andrew Schultz]

So it's like, if you're right, then you trust God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Robert Green says. He doesn't say never argue at all. He's saying when you prove someone wrong publicly, you often trigger ego. People don't change. They just get defensive and resentful. You win the moment, but lose influence long term.

[Andrew Schultz]

Have you read the Prince? I'm not getting you. This is a. It's a Machiavelli.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No.

[Andrew Schultz]

So Machiavelli was this, like, I know who Machiavelli was. So when he was locked up, he was trying to, like, get the good favor of. Maybe it was the Medicis or something like that. So he wrote this book called the Prince, if I'm not mistaken, about, like, how to operate within power dynamics, specifically within, like, government and monarchy, et cetera. And the idea was, like, to pitch himself as, like, a consultant to this ruling family while he was locked up Hopefully I'm not bastard in this. And Robert Green acknowledges that the 48 laws of power are just taken from. So like, it's a. He reframes them and packages them in this, like, beautiful way. But, like, it's pretty cool that back in, like, Renaissance era Italy, there's this dude that's locked up, but is so fully aware of power dynamics and, like, how to operate with power to make sure that they don't kick you out of power. One straight up behead you, but also so that you don't appear weak.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And he's writing this as like, I don't. Not a resume, but, like, what is it, like an audition? Chris, right?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Does he end up getting scooped up by the family or.

[Chris]

No, I don't remember how it played out in his own life, but that crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like a guy wrote a book in that. That far away. And like, right now we're referencing it on a podcast in 2020.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Words are powerful.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But that's also back in the day when they understood the power of words. So much so that they would. Would write them down in that way and say, hey, this is going to be shared for generations. You know what I mean? And I think that, you know, it's not just the words. They were actually writing from experiences. You don't just wake up and say, okay, when, when, when through. When don't. Never went through argument. Went through action. You have to experience that over and over, over and over, and then write it down. I wonder about that all the time because I'm like, yo, who is actually transcribing what's going on right now?

[Andrew Schultz]

You're saying right now, like, how is history gonna look back at this moment?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How is history gonna look back at this moment?

[Andrew Schultz]

Depends who wins.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I was thinking about that. I'll tell you later, but I think we need more satire. Ooh, we need more In Living colors. We need more boondocks.

[Andrew Schultz]

We need more Huckleberry Finn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We need more Huckleberry Finn. When Chappelle said he want to bring Chappelle's show back, I was like, that's interesting. And the reason why is because there's nobody holding a mirror up to society. I even think about that era of, Remember when Jonah Hill was in, like, all the super bags and it was. It was Seth Rogan and it was making. They were. They were capturing a moment in time to get them to the Greeks, all of that. Like, that.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is to me, like, I think what you're. What you're saying here is that People won't. Don't want direct conversation about what's happening in the world right now because. Especially politically, because it's so exhausting. But they will accept a satirized version of Bit that makes light of these things that are going down without taking on the weight of everything that's happening.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because I can give you my messaging without getting into an argument. So now it's no back and forth. Here, watch this. You watched it for an hour and a half. You digest it. If I do it right, then I'm showing all sides of the debate. All sides, the argument. And now we can go figure it out.

[Andrew Schultz]

People are exhausted. People are exhausted.

[Chris]

But satire also works because it's an exaggerated version of the truth. Truth, yes. And the problem is, right now, the truth is so exaggerated, or the presentation, let's say, is so exaggerated, that the satire is almost entering at the same

[Andrew Schultz]

level as the truth as the truth.

[Chris]

So it loses a lot of its sting.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's hard to satirize what's happening now because, like, it's so absolutely absurd that 10 years ago, if you just said these things are happening, it would be satire. Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't think you have to exaggerate it that much. If you go back and you watch some of the best satire, like, you know, things like the person's physical appearance may be exaggerated.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But everything else, the idea, you know, something the person may have said, it's pretty on par with what we actually experienced.

[Guest/Contributor]

But I feel like Chappelle's show, he exaggerated the figures. Like Prince and R. Kelly. He exaggerated them. What Drew Ski is doing. Did he, though Drew Ski is just. Just mimicking them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But did he exaggerate him? Because, listen, when we saw the Prince basketball sketch, we thought that was exaggeration until we learned no, Prince really was playing basketball and taking through the hole.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, I think that's to what Chris is saying. It's like we were unaware that that was true.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

So the truth seemed like satire.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, Right.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right now we're aware of how absurd shit is. So how do you. How do you go more absurd than what's happening?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, by the way, it's still absurd. Just because, like, Prince playing basketball is crazy. Dressed like Prince and making people pancakes afterwards is absurd.

[Andrew Schultz]

But it was true.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's true, though. So you can still show people the truth. I don't think we're really paying attention,

[Andrew Schultz]

but maybe we got too much truth. Like, maybe that's what's going on.

[Chris]

Take like, Chappelle's the Yellow Cake sketch. Or the sketch where he knocks the bottle of water over to distract everybody from the fact that he wants all that doesn't feel radically. I mean, there was a clip on Easter of Trump standing next to an Easter Bunny giving a speech on a rant.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's satire.

[Chris]

That would have been a satire, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's some shit happening there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But you know what's so funny? This is why I still watch the Daily Show. I mean, not just because I come on it, but the Daily show takes these real life moments and just creates content around them. And they'll show you the clips. And this is some shit that back in the day, you would do a sketch of. Now, you don't have to. Now you could just show me the real clip. But I'm telling you, a lot of people miss this shit. I saw the Easter Bunny shit on

[Andrew Schultz]

the Daily show, and there are others like that.

[Sketch Character]

You don't mind when the enemy is weak, but that enemy is

[Andrew Schultz]

the.

[Sketch Character]

You guys see the rabbit too, right? I've been. I. You see it. Oh, thank God. I'm so glad they see it. You know, clearly, I've been on a lot of leprosy meds, so I don't. A lot of hallucinations and shit. By the way, the surreal image of the President running through his cavalcade of grievances next to the Easter Bunny was not exclusive to the balcony. Poor Peter Cotton Cocktail had to listen to this all day.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I heard, I heard. I knew I didn't pay attention enough because Donald Trump is always doing so much shit. But I saw the Easter Bunny clip on the Daily Show.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'll be honest, man. I think people want to escape from it. I don't even think they want to hear about it. I think when they get home from work, I think that they're getting New York Times notifications on their phone, and every new one is a little bit more exhausting and fear inducing than the next. And they're just like, I want to think about a fucking reality show with Mormon women cheating on their husbands. Like, I just. I need to be completely pulled out of this political exhaustion and put into a different world where I can escape.

[Chris]

But the more, period. I mean, I was talking to my daughter about this, and she's like, my generation wants 90s theme shows.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, that this is the cycle.

[Chris]

It makes us think there was America where things were normal, you know, Like, I think.

[Andrew Schultz]

I feel. I think there's a version of that. And I also think that this generation craves authenticity because everything that they've seen is completely magical, is inauthentic.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That shit from the 90s, early 2000s feels real.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, look at even what's happening right now. Like, the white boy rocker bands are popping again, right? Like, the guys that headline Coachella are like the classic white boy indie rock bands, the Strokes. Like, I grew up listening to these guys in the city. Now they're headlining Coachella Umbrella. So it's like there is a movement kind of happening. And I think things are cyclical in general, but, like, the 90s was probably. They don't remember it. They don't even understand it. But they look back at it and they go, oh, this is a time where things were, quote, unquote, real, Right? And they crave real.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I think that we have to go back to holding up a mirror to society and showing people how ridiculous this shit is. So, yes, I understand everybody's exhausted, but they're exhausted because nobody's putting any of this in context. It's just constantly coming at us, coming at us, coming at us, coming at us. If somebody can take some of this shit, put it in context, that's what Stand up is good about. That's what George Carlin used to be so good about. That's what all of these sketch comedy shows used to be so good about. You could take these absurd, crazy moments in our society, put some funny behind it and give us some context to it, at least make us make us realize what we should be thinking about.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah, to a certain extent. But, like, I think also, like, if you're somebody who's, you know, working a job, you're trying to make ends meet and rent is expensive and food, expense all these things, and you go out to a comedy show, like, do you want somebody up there going, like. And Pete Hegseth said, if it's funny.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And if I know who the Pete Hegseth is.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, maybe. Or do you want to escape from that and hear hilarious stories about maybe cultural things that are happening about somebody's own personal life? And does that escape provide you the value that just being completely locked into this doom scroll does not give?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think when you're able to make fun of something, yeah. It makes whatever that something is, even if it's heavy, feel lighter and make us feel like we can get through

[Andrew Schultz]

it, as long as the fun is the goal and not, like, some political messaging. Because I think what people don't want is, regardless of which side, just to have, like, messaging jammed down their throat. Like, if the punchline is. And that's why we should go to Iran. You're like, oh, get me out of this shit. If the punchline is using this war and then making something absurd or silly around it that has nothing to do with it, then we're in kind of fun zone.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You guys see the movie Eddington, by any chance?

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah.

[Chris]

So about a bear, not Paddington. Now, it's about the height of the Black Lives Matter and Covid. Around 20. 20.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, people don't want that right now.

[Chris]

No, no, it was really good.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but people don't want it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Is it satire? Is it satire?

[Chris]

But there was just enough distance six years ago, and they made fun of it all. They made fun of Black Lives Matter. They made fun of the COVID Oh,

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I gotta watch it. It's a movie.

[Chris]

It was a movie, and I watched it. I was like, yeah, man, that time really was fucking stupid.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen, that's. Yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, there's, like, Kevin. Distance from.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Six years ago. Felt like I could kind of take a breath and look back at it, you know?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Two of my favorite things. When Kevin Hart's standup special, when he talks about how he got caught up in wanting to be an activist during that time, and when Duvall always posts those videos of, like, people dancing in front of the cops and shit. And Duval's like, I'll never let y' all forget how stupid y' all was in 2000. Like, I do. I do believe. Yes, but that's factor. That's what we need. Like, there's really no. Like, this can't. The phone can't be the only timestamp show. It can't just be podcast clips and shit like that. Like, give me.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, you need art.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Art.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think. I think art.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's the music.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think art is important. I think art is. Is incredibly powerful and is, like, useful definitely at times like this, like, when people are stressed and when people just kind of want to escape. And I think you can address the issues, but, like, when you see movies that have, like, a political undertone, they just don't really perform that well. And then you see movies that, like, are just about, like, a girl who's, like a. A cleaning lady that the other girl's husband. They make $400 million. What if the clean lady is Mexican?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Mexican. But she's here illegally.

[Andrew Schultz]

And she's too much.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She's too much for her visa and her green.

[Guest/Contributor]

I think there's room for both. Have you seen the show the Boys Superhero?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I know.

[Guest/Contributor]

It's like one of the popular superhero shows right now.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, very.

[Guest/Contributor]

Has a lot of political tone. Like they're always making fun.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Even though we got mad political, I

[Guest/Contributor]

think there's room for.

[Andrew Schultz]

But the Boys is so absurd and silly. Like, they're superheroes. Right?

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah, but.

[Andrew Schultz]

So it's like you're already out of

[Guest/Contributor]

the stuff that you see.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Sure.

[Guest/Contributor]

In the Trump administration. So it's satire of the Trump.

[Andrew Schultz]

Sure. But, like, so is Zootopia like, Zootopia? The cartoon is, like, obviously a metaphor. Right. For race relations or, you know, social dynamics and culture. But it's. It's a cartoon and we have animals, so it pulls us far enough away from it where it doesn't feel like it's jamming the messaging down our throat. And I think that's what the superhero genre can do. Do. It's like all these guys got superpowers, so they pull us away so I could just escape in this world and I don't have to think too much of it. And then when they do make a point, you're like, ooh, was that. And I think that's the distance you need to be. I think if it gets close, close, close. I think people are like, I'm already. I'm so fucking stressed. I don't want to think about it. That's my suspicion.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think it's just got to be done. Right. I really do. I. I think that we need somebody to hold the mirror up to what's going on on in society right now and. And not only make us laugh about it, put some things in context.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I really do. Katy Perry, sexual assault. This is so crazy. You know, I love me some Katy Perry.

[Taylor]

You didn't believe it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who. Who didn't believe it?

[Taylor]

You. When I was telling you the story,

[Charlamagne Tha God]

because the story sounded absurd, I'm like. But, you know, there is a part

[Andrew Schultz]

of it that is quite difficult to believe.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Leave.

[Taylor]

You want to read it?

[Andrew Schultz]

No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Just tell me the story. Who wrote this, first of all?

[Andrew Schultz]

So there's an actress.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And by the way, I didn't. And here's the thing. When Taylor told me the story, Taylor told me some wild. Taylor was like, she. She pulled her panties to.

[Taylor]

Exactly. That's a story.

[Andrew Schultz]

You want to read it? You want to read it or not?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I do. I just. I don't read the tweet.

[Andrew Schultz]

Tweets go up because the tweets are crazy.

[Taylor]

Yeah. Ruby Rose, who is an act, who was an actress on Orange is the New Black.

[Andrew Schultz]

Katy Perry said Katy Perry Katy Perry said about Justin Bieber's performance. I guess she was watching. She's like, thank God he paid for YouTube Premium. I don't want to. I don't want to have to sit through any ads.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is what set this off.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And then on that comment, Ruby Rose, who's an actress, said, Katy Perry sexually assaulted me at Spice Market nightclub in Melbourne. Who gives a shit what she thinks?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Dang. Damn. That went left fat.

[Andrew Schultz]

And somebody commented on that. Says she kissed a girl and you didn't like it. Trying to have a joke. And then Ruby Rose says, she didn't kiss me. She saw me resting on my friend's lap to avoid her and bent down, pulled her underwear to the side and rubbed her disgusting vagina on my face until my eyes snapped open. I projectile vomited on her.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God damn. What the her smell like, son? That's crazy.

[Taylor]

She's in her early 20s.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She must have had that BV. BV. Allegedly. You gotta have BV if you make somebody projectile vomit just by putting their face in it. By the way, Taylor, that's not the case.

[Andrew Schultz]

And Ruby Rose is a lesbian.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This story makes perfect sense. You told me something else that I was like, there's no way it fits

[Taylor]

me that I literally read you that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, you did. I forgot how you worded it. Maybe in my mind, the way I. In my mind, I thought you said that Katie pulled her panties to the side and then put her vagina in her face. And I'm like, how the fuck can you do that? Like, I'm. This is what I was thinking when you told me the story. You said. I thought this. You said she pulled her panties to the side and then took her vagina, meaning Ruby Rose's vagina, and put Ruby Rose's vagina in her.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm like, on her own face.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm like, how Taylor. Like that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Don't projectile vomit.

[Taylor]

I don't know how you got that.

[Sketch Character]

I don't know how.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what you told me. I'm like, that don't even make. I'm like, physically. That's impossible.

[Taylor]

Possible.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How the could that even happen?

[Andrew Schultz]

How else do they project out vomiting off of like a vagina smell? Seems hard.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's the most. If. Now what if you're a Katie. And that's the most offensive thing about this whole post.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, it's got to be.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Got to be, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

Because that girl is a lesbian. So she definitely tried something. It's not like it was the first time she smelled it. Like she been down there. She knows what they're like. So I think the worst part is

[Guest/Contributor]

Katy Perry being alleged that she sexually assaulted somebody else.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think that's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I said that's not what we said, Alex. I said, what if you're Katy Perry. Yeah. The worst part of this story is that you heard that your vagina smells so bad that somebody projectile vomited. I ain't talking about what we think. Of course, what we think this worst part is the sexual assault.

[Andrew Schultz]

Imagine just one, like, we live in New York. There's a lot of smells here. I never projectile vomited.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I know, yeah, projectile vomit. You go straight horror movie. Off the box.

[Andrew Schultz]

Off the box.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Crazy. God.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like it wakes you up. Like you're like exorbitant.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Wake up.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, that's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? The smell of sauce. Bring Katy Perry's box over.

[Andrew Schultz]

God damn rounds for a boxer.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

You on the sidelines for an NFL game.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Quarterback gets sacked Willie Beeman from smelling Katy Perry's.

[Taylor]

She might also be saying she could have been drunk. And then when she smell bad meat, heard vomit to it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I was only in my early 20s. I'm now 40. It has taken almost two decades to say this publicly, though I am so grateful to have made it long enough to find my voice. I just know how much of an impact trauma and sexual assault takes. Thank you for seeing me. She's absolutely right.

[Andrew Schultz]

But you know, Katie is denying that any of this happens.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. But also the reality of the situation is people don't take same sex sexual assault the same, especially women on women. If it was a guy on guy, I'd be totally different, bro. Woman on women. This. This as big as a star Katy Perry is. You would think this would be a huge, huge story. This is not as huge as if this was Luke Perry. Am I lying? No. If this was Luke Perry.

[Andrew Schultz]

You make a great point. For some reason we don't take the same sex sexual ass.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Women. Women.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah. Men on men too.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, yeah, it depends. Depends if it's. If it's an older man with a younger boy. For sure, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes, sure. But like how many. How many like age quote unquote inappropriate relationships are there? Like there's a super old gay dude, he got like a 20 something year old twink. Twink. And it's like a twink. Like a skinny gay guy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's a real thing.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah. Anyway. And like, and if there was a. If. Yo, you ain't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If.

[Andrew Schultz]

If there was a super old dude with like a young girl, we would be critical of it, right? We would be like, well, this seems inappropriate. There's a big age gap. Is this person taking advantage of that person? But like, you're right, there's a different bar for same sex relationships where we seem to not be as protective of the people there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You take the same story. Luke Perry pulls woman's panties to the side, sticks his in her face.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, he's going to chill. He's going to jail.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They say. They say Katy Perry is being investigated. All right. Did I read that somewhere?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. Damn. Yeah, that's gonna be interesting. She has denied it. She has denied it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is gonna be interesting.

[Andrew Schultz]

If there is footage from that nightclub.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, is that a nightclub?

[Andrew Schultz]

If apparently if there's footage from Spice Market where she throws that thing at her and then immediate projectile vomit. God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God damn. That is horrible, man. What the is wrong with your vagina that it makes somebody project tile vomit? Allegedly.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's an alleged bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Geez.

[Andrew Schultz]

Come on, man. She got kids. She got kids. You know that's an Orlando Bloom's ex. Shout out to Katie Perry. Oh, Shout out to Orlando. Shout out to Legolas.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, and that's sad, yo, because also this is just an allegation. Allegation, right.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's right. Allegations are not.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But nobody cares about the truth. And the lie is more entertaining that

[Andrew Schultz]

lies entertaining as you know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Salute to Ruby Rose. If that. I don't know. I'm not saying what's true and what's not true.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm just saying, like, we hope everyone gets justice.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, that's right.

[Andrew Schultz]

If that's Katie, that the truth comes out and vindicates her. We hope that if that's Ruby and the truth vindicates her, then we hope that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But, well, nobody's gonna ever look at Katie the same.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, you know what? You might be right. And that is a shame name. That's why these allegations are very damning.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She better hope that it's not another person that comes out and talks about how she got a whiff of her boxing projectile vomited.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, her and Orlando just got divorced, so he is in a power position right now. He's in a power position right now. He's in a power position.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think we should just move on.

[Andrew Schultz]

I agree.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Let's pay some bills.

[Andrew Schultz]

Let's do it. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's pay some bills, gang. Let's pay some bills. Salute to Quint. This time of year always makes me rethink what's in my closet. True story. I'M literally about to throw away everything. Like, I don't want nothing that's in my closet right now. I'm giving it all away to Goodwill. I'm trying to keep fewer things, but better ones. You know, pieces that are well made and easy to wear all the time. That's why I keep coming back to Quint. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are thoughtful, and the pricing actually makes sense. Sense. Quince makes high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen and their insanely soft flow knit activewear fabric. Their men's linen pants and shirts are lightweight, breathable and comfortable. Basically the perfect layer for spring. The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined, so you look put together without trying too hard. And their FLO did activewear moisture, wicking, anti odor and soft enough that you'll actually want to wear it all day. Anti odor is very important in the summertime. A lot of y' all be wearing them wolf pants. And the reason we call them wolf pants is because you be having them on all day. And then when you go home and take them off, that shit just hits you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Woof.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay. The best part is that their prices are 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How? Because Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy. Okay. I like the T shirts personally. And some nice comfortable pants. Okay. That is just breathable and comfortable. Okay. And I wear them with my skims underwear.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hey, hey.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, Everything breathing? All right. Everything breathing. I look more polished than I even expected. So they don't cost what you think. All right? It's quality linen. Trust me when I tell you refresh your wardrobe with quints. Go to quints.comidiots for free shipping. Shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Q-U-N-C-E.comidiots for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comidiots I want to tell y' all something, man. I recently found out that men start losing testosterone around 30. About 1% a year. And here's the part that got me. Even when your body is making testosterone, a lot of it gets locked up by this protein called shbg. So it's like having money in your account, but your card doesn't work. That's why men should be taking Mars. Men. You see this? No synthetics, no needles. Eight natural, clinically dosed ingredients. I Can't pronounce any of these things. Chris. That looks like it's up your alley. Tongue Cat Ali Shilajit, Vitamin D, zinc boron, made in the usa. Third party tested the whole thing. Okay, look, man, Marsman workouts are going to start feeling like workouts again. Recovery gets better and the energy isn't like a coffee spike. It's just steady. You feel like yourself again. They've got a 90 day money back guarantee, so there's literally no risk. But over 91% of users report higher energy levels. Go check the reviews yourself. Thousands of guys are feeling it. For a limited time, you can get 50% off for life, free shipping and three free gifts@ Mengotomars.com that's Mengotomars.com that's mengotomars.com it's also on Amazon and when you check out, they'll ask where you heard about it. Please tell them the brilliant idiot sent you. You okay? Support the show Marsman supports the show Marsman Salute to y'.

[Andrew Schultz]

All.

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

let's do some church announcements, show, see what we got.

[Andrew Schultz]

Let's do it, man. Show's coming up, man. Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. This is, we got, I don't know, my website, maybe you could bring it up. Theandrewsals.com but we're gonna add some more. We're gonna add some more clubs in the near future and we're gonna add some more potentially shows at have sold out. So thank you guys so much, man. Tampa, sold out. Denver, sold out. Salt Lake City, sold out. Thank you guys so much. We're thinking about adding shows in those places. I'll post on my Instagram if we do. We got the Netflix's joke festival with Jelly Roll. That show is going to be absolutely crazy. That's going to be may scroll down eighth if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, May 8th. All right, so go check that out. And then we're also going to be out in Nova Scotia, Halifax, Nova Scotia this summer for the Great Outdoors Festival. Gonna bring Cam Patterson from SNL and kill Tony up there. Lucas Zelnick. Mark Gagnon is Going to be on it as well. So we got that cooking, man. I appreciate y'.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All.

[Andrew Schultz]

Charlamagne. What you got?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The fourth annual Black Effect Podcast Festival, baby. Saturday, April 25th in Atlanta, Georgia at Pullman Yards. Man. Go to black effect.com podcast festival to get your tickets. We are, man. Next weekend. Next weekend. Next weekend we will be there. Atlanta, Georgia, April 25. Nore and DJ E FM Nori Effin drink Champs podcast will be on that stage. Salute to Mona. The Don't Call Me White Girl podcast. Mona, I love your hair. I love your Black Effect hair, Mona. Okay. I can't wait to see you at the podcast festival. Crystal Renee Haslet. Keep it positive, sweetie. Podcast. She'll be there. Jeff teague with the Club 520 podcast. Carlos King with the Reality with the King. Grits and Eggs podcast with Ice Cup Cat and my man Deontay Kyle. Man, I want to announce some of the guests that's going to be on the podcast, but I still don't think I can yet. But you're going to want to be there. That's the thing about the podcast festival. It's not just the shows. It's the people that they bring, you know, on their shows as well. But I'm, you know, it's some very. Nah, that'll give too much away. But tickets are on sale now. Black Effect.com podcast festival. Go get your tickets. Tickets and we'll see you in Atlanta next week. I love the black

[Andrew Schultz]

whatever.

[Taylor]

I'm gonna be hosting the stream.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So, yeah, that's the beauty of the Black Effect Podcast Festival, man. It's not just a place that you come and you're entertained by the podcast that are on stage. It's really a networking event. Like, if you're in, you know, in the podcasting space and you're into the business of podcasting or want to get into the business of podcasting, then, you know, the Black Effect is like a great place for you to come and just network with people. Like, we got panels like Kevin on stage is going to be on the panel. John Hope Bryant is on a panel. I'm looking at this. Yeah, I'm looking at this panel right now. It is the AI the Evolution and Future panel. John Hope Bryant, Ian Dunlap, Bridget Todd, Cliff Worley. It's a lot going on, man.

[Guest/Contributor]

And you got a lot of dope activations, sir. You have that race car, too.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We got dope activations. We got the race car simulator that's gonna be there courtesy of nascar. My guy Raja Karuf we got the Pitch youh podcast platform that's gonna be there so you can come out there and pitch your podcast to potentially be on the Black Effect Network. Like it's a lot of dope shit going on, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

I like it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Pull up, pull up, pull up, pull up.

[Andrew Schultz]

I like it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Look at my guy, Lil Jon, man. Little John's book. We just announced that I'm putting out Lil Jon's wife book, Black Privilege Publishing. Oh my God. It's called I only Shout so you can hear me, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

Wow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, it's called I only shout so you can hear me. It'll be out this fall. Yeah, man. Shout out to Little John, man. Lil John is a, a cultural icon and it is a pleasure to be able to help him tell his story. October 20, 2026. You can pre order that right now wherever you buy books.

[Guest/Contributor]

Oh, guys. And I got a new live show every Sunday at 11am it's called AM Mornings. It's a live call in show. So you guys at give your opinion about today's pop culture, politics, everything in between. Just head over to YouTube.com amortings I'll see you there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I kept getting sent this clip this weekend and people were saying that Saturday Night Live was inspired by the brilliant idiots.

[Guest/Contributor]

Yep.

[Chris]

Nah, nah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what they said. It was a sketch called two kids from the back of the bus and they were on Weekend Update with Michael Che and Colin. I don't even know if Michael Che was there. I didn't see Michael Che, but he's not in this segment at least. But it's Cam.

[Andrew Schultz]

And what's Cam Patterson, Marcelo. Cam Patterson and Marcelo.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo. We just want to know if this was this inspired by us because that's what the people are saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

A lot of people do dick jokes. It's not. We're not the only ones.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It ain't even about the dick jokes though. It's the. It's the part when they go from idiot to intelligent.

[Andrew Schultz]

So you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They go from idiot to brilliant. Yes. And Colin referenced it, bro. Let's listen to it.

[Andrew Schultz]

What's up, Mr. Jones?

[Sketch Character]

What's up, Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hey, guys, calm down, calm down, calm down. Okay.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're here to talk about inflation. Okay?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Sketch Character]

Right, right. But first, can I just use your phone real quick, Mr. Jost, I'm sorry, mine got confiscated.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, why did your phone get confiscated?

[Sketch Character]

I don't know. I didn't do nothing. I didn't do nothing. I didn't even do nothing. I don't know. Why you would think if I didn't even do nothing?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know.

[Andrew Schultz]

I find that hard to believe.

[Sketch Character]

Okay, fine. I posted a video of me swiping a debit card between the bus driver's neck folds.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was funny. Back at, like, a pack of hot dogs.

[Sketch Character]

It was like, framp. You know what I mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Framp.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what? Because this is serious. This is serious, okay? I want you guys.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You gotta focus up, okay?

[Andrew Schultz]

Focus up. Okay.

[Sketch Character]

Seriously. Seriously. Okay. Inflation was up 3.3%. Prices are out of control. Everyone has been affected. Even my boy Grabon can't afford these groceries.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, for real. I feel bad for Garbon. Life is tough.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, my God. Who's Grabone?

[Sketch Character]

Oh, Grabone is a friend of ours. It's Grabone. These nuts.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I really don't appreciate being shot in the face a bunch of times. Also, you're supposed to come out here and talk about the inflation. You've had this assignment for weeks.

[Sketch Character]

Nah, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Right now let me lock in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Lock in.

[Andrew Schultz]

Let him cook.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let him cook.

[Sketch Character]

Okay. Inflation report, right? Let me ask you a basic question of economics, basing basic.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got it.

[Andrew Schultz]

You got it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got it.

[Sketch Character]

I got it. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Lock in, man.

[Sketch Character]

All right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got it.

[Sketch Character]

Let me ask you a basic question of economics. Okay.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay, great. Yeah.

[Sketch Character]

Would you rape, eat 100 glizzies, or pass away from big booty disease? Good question.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Good question.

[Andrew Schultz]

I guess. I would obviously choose the glizzies.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh. Oh, hell no. Mr. Joseph Glizzy Goblin.

[Sketch Character]

You're nasty, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

All right, you guys are. You're too rowdy. Okay, you guys need to calm down.

[Sketch Character]

Okay, fine. Jokes aside, I don't think this inflation will predicate a noticeable shift in the Federal Reserve.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but it does put the Fed between a rock and a hard place because they have to promote low inflation while still encouraging economic growth.

[Andrew Schultz]

The hell is that? Are you guys, like, secretly smart?

[Sketch Character]

Yes, dude. We get tutoring from Amanda Caholt. She's a genius. You know Amanda Cajole?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who.

[Andrew Schultz]

Who is. Who is Amanda Cajole?

[Sketch Character]

Amanda Cajole. These nut.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Got him.

[Andrew Schultz]

Got him.

[Sketch Character]

Done.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, can brilliant get some credit? For what? Can Brian N Get some credit for the inspiration to this For?

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, that's not us, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That we. This. We definitely inspired this.

[Andrew Schultz]

Ah, come on.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Come on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

D. Might as well have said y' all are like, some brilliant idiots. He. This was like, come on, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Who's who then?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Stop it. It's clear. It's obvious who's who. The black guy and the white guy.

[Andrew Schultz]

The only reason why I can say we inspired is because Cam doesn't get one One these nuts joke off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, he definitely.

[Andrew Schultz]

And you have yet to get one off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Those are some good ones, too. Amanda Cahole was hilarious.

[Andrew Schultz]

I like Amanda Cahole.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And it was great because he did it right after being serious.

[Andrew Schultz]

Exactly.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So he wasn't expecting it. Who's Amanda?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I'm saying a man that can hold these nuts. That sound too intimate, though. You can't make your dick joke sound intimate. A man that can hold these nuts.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. I don't want it to be gentle. Nah, it's got to be more aggressive.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And dick jokes work best when they're in and around your mouth.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I mean? When you saying intimate shit like a man that can't hold you. Wait a minute.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hold on. So is Jost then Chris Moreau? Is that what you're trying to say?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I can see Chris doing that. Wow.

[Andrew Schultz]

They had a. Had a white guy take an Asian dude's role. That's fucked up. That's fucked up that SNL wouldn't honor your race, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Are both of these guys cast members? I know the black Cam is the brother, right? Yes, I know he's a cast member, but who's the other guy?

[Andrew Schultz]

Marcel. He's also a cast member.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's a comedian.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes. Yeah.

[Sketch Character]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Salute to Marcelo. Both do stand up, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Funny.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes. Funny, guys. Very funny, guys.

[Guest/Contributor]

Both of them. Really funny.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's do some asking idiots, gang. Gang. Let's do some asking idiots. How do you d underscore Loparella says, how do you measure success in a war with a global economy? Also takes a hit. I don't think there is such a success in a war. Yeah, there's no success when it comes

[Andrew Schultz]

to success when innocent people are dying. No success when the global economy is absolutely obliterated. There's no success.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, there's no success.

[Andrew Schultz]

They go invent success and they're going to try to sell it to us, but hopefully we're at a point where we're not believing the propaganda.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, you're a sick person if you think, you know, war making the stock market go up is worth it.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't even know if it makes it go up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't think it does. People say that, but I don't know.

[Andrew Schultz]

Not right now. When oil is 120, $140 a barrel.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, why do they say that, Chris? Why did they say War makes the stock market go up.

[Chris]

Well, in the past, it's because you've had a lot of manufacturing jobs created. And, you know, there's war efforts where they start making tanks or planes. This isn't really the case.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, this is not the case at all right now. But back in the day, yeah, the government. I mean, when you're at war, the government is going to spend as much money as possible to make sure you win, because if you lose, everything's over. So when the government is pumping money into the economy, there's ideally some liquidity in there, and, like, businesses will do better. But that's not what is happening right now. No, that's not this. So, no, let's stop. Let's stop the. And nobody wants war, bro. Hey, bro. Say. Say it with your chest, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, nobody wants war. Manny Yee says, would y' all be down for a president that's a millennial? Absolute lutely. What are you talking.

[Andrew Schultz]

Whether we like it or not is gonna happen eventually.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Is it?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're not gonna skip the whole generation. It might not. Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So they go to start at, what, 81.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but you got to be 35 to be president. So the next one's going.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Then he was like, 81.

[Andrew Schultz]

I know, but you have to be at least 35 years old to be president.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I know, but they're talking about somebody born within that time frame. 81. Whatever. What is it?

[Chris]

I think more so they're saying you become the president who's, like, 30 to 45.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Would you.

[Chris]

A monomy age president.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's not a millennial. Millennial is a millennial.

[Chris]

I think so.

[Andrew Schultz]

He's like 35. Yeah.

[Guest/Contributor]

81 to 89.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, 81. Okay, okay. I think.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think so. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When millennials are. Hold on.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think it'd be nice. I think it'd be refreshing. I think these old dudes.

[Chris]

Maybe we need to get them vice president right now. How old? Shady Van?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. 81 to 96 are millennials. 81 to 96 of millennials?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, he's probably.

[Taylor]

I was going to say, like, I'm a millennial.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

81 to 96 of millennials. So, yeah, I guess 190 would be a millennial.

[Chris]

He's a little. 84.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He was born who. Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

81 to 89.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's a millennial then. Yeah. 81 to 96 is considered millennial.

[Chris]

He doesn't have that energy, though.

[Taylor]

But millennial just sounds like a younger.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo. They age crazy, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's Crazy to be older than the vice president. That just hit me right now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. You know how old Seth Rogen is?

[Andrew Schultz]

Golly.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How old do you think Steph Rogan? I just guess. How old you think Steph Rogan is?

[Andrew Schultz]

42. 40. Really? How old?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, you're white, so y' all see each other.

[Andrew Schultz]

Old is he?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's 44.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. That's how old we look. He looks.

[Taylor]

How old do you think he is?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Seth Rogan?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I thought Seth was in his 50s at least.

[Andrew Schultz]

Wow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But you didn't think so. Seth Rogan.

[Andrew Schultz]

Fat people all kind of look the same age. Like from like. From like 25 to like 45. They all look the same. Like you never seen a fat person that look young or old. They just look fat.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Ain't fat. Do you think Z is fat?

[Andrew Schultz]

He was fat. Like he. He embodied fat. Like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I get what you're saying though, because when. When Jonah Hill was fat, you could play a teenager. Yeah, you wouldn't even.

[Andrew Schultz]

Or he could play a 35 year old. Like fat people have one age. It's fat.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jonah Hill looks the same. Super bad and in wolf.

[Andrew Schultz]

And then Jonah got skinny.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He looked old. You're right.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, he got fat again. He looked young.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's in a new movie now. I want to see. I haven't watched it yet. This is on Apple with him and Keanu Reeves.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, Shout Out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was number one this weekend. I a get a chance to watch it.

[Taylor]

I watched Super Bad not too long ago. That is such a funny.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hilarious.

[Taylor]

I forgot how funny as.

[Andrew Schultz]

Man, man, Jonah's funny.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, man, come. Jonah's funny the best. I don't think Jonah gets enough credit as a comedic actor. Yeah, one of the bad. I watch Super Bad.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's fun for no reason.

[Taylor]

He wants my dick all up in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All of in and around her mouth. Like that is my. Yo. Like he wants my dick all in around her mouth.

[Sketch Character]

She wants to me. She wants my dick in and around her mouth.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I like that type of shit. That shit was great. You know another good movie I watched this weekend, what this is called? I went down a Rabbit Hole. Cause I started watching get him to the Greek and then I was just like watching everything from getting Sarah Marshall

[Andrew Schultz]

Diddy and Russell Brand. Yo, that's you watching a fucking. Me too. Mount Rushmore right there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's a good ass cinema. They played the fuck out of them roles. But then I started watching forgetting Sarah Marshall. Cause I forget. I forgot that character came from that movie.

[Andrew Schultz]

Movie, yeah. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So I watched this Movie called Book Smart with Olivia Wild. And I forgot. Who else is it? I forgot who the other person is in there. Fire. It's like. It's. It's like about these two girls.

[Andrew Schultz]

This girl super bad.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not as edgy, but.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But there, right? These two girls who decide they want to. They wasted three years of high school, so they want to have, like one great night.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And so that. That shit was. That shit was pretty. Pretty good. Frankie Ads value says, what's your best childhood memory that your kids will never experience? Andrew?

[Andrew Schultz]

My best childhood memory that your kids will never experience. That my kids will never experience. My best childhood memory. I don't know if they'll never experience it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Because if it's your best childhood memory, I want my kids to experience.

[Andrew Schultz]

I remember we were down two. I'm at the free throw line. There's like three seconds left. I hit the first free throw. Second free throw, I miss. I get the rebound. I put up a layup. We win the game. I think that Carmine Street Recreation Center. Shout out. Ray Pagan. That was. Oh, my dad was there. He's hyped.

[Taylor]

Why you mad?

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not trying to get you. Ray Pagan. Real rest in peace. Ray the goat. But he ran car seat Street Recreation Center.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. My best childhood memory.

[Andrew Schultz]

What could Ray Pagon be?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know, but you're creative.

[Andrew Schultz]

I am creative. I am creative. You got to stand your toes for me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My best childhood memory that my kids would never experience growing up in the country, growing up in a rural area.

[Andrew Schultz]

You live in the woods, you hug trees.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's different growing up on a dirt road and playing in woods all day. We played in the woods. Like, we got woods behind us that they could play in, but they're not gonna do it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, because they got video games and television and the Internet.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, they like going outside, but it's just like.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, but you guys are, like chasing bobcats and putting your dick in them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Word. Gone. It was after the wildlife, bro. Like, for real.

[Taylor]

The wildlife.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We were after the wildlife.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm trying to something.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We weren't scared of no wildlife. Wildlife life. Now you going there. You know, these girls scared of deers. All types of. And. And. And probably rightfully so, you know? And then when you live in Jersey, like, it's unique out there.

[Andrew Schultz]

It is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They got b.

[Andrew Schultz]

The bears.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Bears and birds and I ain't never seen a bear, but I always see the po. I thought I was turning into a werewolf.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I thought Katy Perry put a on your mouth. Allegedly. That's a horrible thing to say about somebody. That's a horrible thing to say. That's a horrible thing to say. If that's not true, that's all, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

As always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent. You're absolutely right. But if you listen to this podcast, I think we're just a couple idiots who don't know shit. You're right too. It's the Brilliant Idiots podcast. Thank you for listening.

[Andrew Schultz]

Peace.

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