Bryce Crawford (1:39)

Would you ever get another one?

Pastor Judah Smith (1:40)

Yeah, no. I'm going to do a collection just on my left knee.

Bryce Crawford (1:42)

Oh, nice.

Pastor Judah Smith (1:44)

Maybe we could get a tattoo artist in here in the next few minutes.

Bryce Crawford (1:47)

Yeah, let's do it after it. Let's do. Let's. Someone just walks in mid interview. That'd be so funny. We should get a match in one. All right, I'm down.

Pastor Judah Smith (1:57)

And you'll do it. Can you do on your left knee with.

Bryce Crawford (1:58)

Yeah, yeah.

Pastor Judah Smith (1:59)

You already.

Bryce Crawford (2:00)

I mean, yeah, it's literally perfect. Yes, let's do it.

Pastor Judah Smith (2:03)

Okay.

Bryce Crawford (2:03)

All right. Deal?

Pastor Judah Smith (2:04)

Deal. Promise.

Bryce Crawford (2:05)

All right. Yeah, deal. I like that.

Pastor Judah Smith (2:08)

Pinky brown.

Bryce Crawford (2:09)

Yeah, it's whatever. You know, so many people really liked our episode we did last time.

Pastor Judah Smith (2:15)

Wow.

Bryce Crawford (2:15)

Like, every time I hear people talk about the podcast, our episode gets brought up a ton. So I'm super glad that you're back and we get to talk again. A lot of people found a lot of freedom, peace, encouragement from our conversation, and it was so fun. And your dating advice is some of the most replayed dating advice I think we have on the podcast.

Pastor Judah Smith (2:40)

So my coming from a guy who hasn't dated in 27 years, but that's awesome.

Bryce Crawford (2:45)

So I'm encouraged by you and happy that you're on. And yeah, today. Today it sounds like we're going to talk about, like, anxiety and kind of when the enemy invades your mind and how to kind of deal with those things, which I think, you know, a lot of people in our generation struggle with. You've got information overload. And I know, at least for me personally, it's easy for me to struggle, wake up, like every human being, to wake myself up. Scrolling on social media and then the first thing you consume is, oh, a negative comment or a negative video or someone says this or someone says that, and you kind of are, you know, it's like the first thing you consume is someone's opinion about you, man. So I'm just so excited to get to talk about it. What. What made you. What made you so passionate about. About this?

Pastor Judah Smith (3:30)

I mean, honestly, probably discovering some progress and some solutions. I am a feeler. I think you're a feeler. I'm fragile like a flower. And I feel like people's words, people's thoughts, people's feelings towards me, like, affect me more than I want to admit. And I think, like anybody else, I try to act tough and I try to act impervious to it, but in reality, like, it just affects me. Like, weird stuff happens to me. The other day, I was saying to friend, like, like, we were on a golf course and, like, I was, like, trying to be nice and talk to these guys who are, like, playing around us, and they, like, wouldn't talk to me. And I felt like they were, like, annoyed and it, like, it, like, hurt my feelings for, like, 30 minutes. And then my old, like, drug dealer from high school who now, like, follows Jesus, he's like, you know, he said, use explicit words, but he's like, what is wrong with you, bro? Like, you have to win with everyone.

Bryce Crawford (4:20)

Yeah.

Pastor Judah Smith (4:20)

And so my thoughts spiral and I get in my head and I like, should I have done something, said something? I had friends over till, like, 3:00am last night, and I said some comments that people are like, wait What? And, like, I'll, like, take a bath, like, late after everyone leaves, because I'll just kind of debrief and, like, get in my head. Like, I shouldn't have said that. And why did I say that? That wasn't funny. And before you know it, like, you kind of live in this secret little prison is a pretty heavy word. But, yeah, you just feel not yourself.

Bryce Crawford (4:56)

Yeah.

Pastor Judah Smith (4:56)

I think my passion around the thought life is like, what if you could be fully.

Bryce Crawford (5:00)

You.

Pastor Judah Smith (5:00)

What if you could be fully confident? What if you could get out of your head and more into your heart and, like, serve people and love people? I think today, like, the. The verse of the day on the Bible app was, you'll be far happier giving than you will getting. And what if we could, you know, affect our thoughts a little bit more? I also think that a lot of people don't think about their thoughts. They take thoughts as, like, whatever comes, I just have to accept. Yeah, I think that's a big hurdle, by the way, because I felt like I've lived like that. Like, well, my thoughts are. My thoughts. They. They come as they are. And it just is what it is. When in reality, I think there's something to be said about, like, you know, your thoughts and what you. On what you think about. And then, by the way, thoughts attract thoughts. People who have similar thought patterns seem to hang out together, so then you can get stuck and. But we're all in this together. Like, anyone out there who's beating themselves up about their thought life, I mean, guys, we're all in this together. It is difficult these days to think healthy thoughts in 2025. I'm convinced.

Bryce Crawford (6:04)

No, I believe I'm, like, the worst overthinker ever. And I think. I think literally the worst overthinker ever.

Pastor Judah Smith (6:09)

I will.

Bryce Crawford (6:09)

Even. Even when it comes to. Even when it comes to serious stuff. Yeah, you know, like, if. If so last night, come back from a fair date. Went to the Orange county fair with Maddie.

Pastor Judah Smith (6:19)

Really?

Bryce Crawford (6:20)

So fun.

Pastor Judah Smith (6:20)

Tell me your favorite ride, though, please. What was your favorite ride?

Bryce Crawford (6:23)

I think my favorite ride was. Oh, man. It's like this thing. It goes around a circle. It's called, like an avalanche. I don't know. It's like, goes right.

Pastor Judah Smith (6:30)

That goes really fast.

Bryce Crawford (6:31)

It goes really fast. I get super dizzy, but I like it.

Pastor Judah Smith (6:33)

People throw up on it. And the throw up, like, suspends. Yeah, that didn't happen.

Bryce Crawford (6:38)

No, not this time. Praise God.

Pastor Judah Smith (6:40)

That's crazy.

Bryce Crawford (6:41)

And. Yeah, it was. Honestly, the fair is. Is. Is so awesome. I love the fair.

Pastor Judah Smith (6:46)

I love.

Bryce Crawford (6:46)

It was great date night. Great date night.

Pastor Judah Smith (6:48)

Yeah.

Bryce Crawford (6:49)

And we're coming back. And I remember driving home, something hit me that was just thinking about, you know, it's kind of like I just started thinking of something. It was on my chest. And so I was just like, hey, Maddie, I just want to tell you about this thing. Seems kind of bothering me. Nothing she did. It was just like, something. I opened up to her about something, and after I got open, open up. I felt bad for opening. I began to overthink. I was like, why did I say that I shouldn't have done it? Or, like, you know, even on. Even on the serious stuff, I can begin to overthink of, like, why did I say that? Or, oh, I hope they didn't get offended that I just opened up to them about this thing, because I don't want them to think this about what I said, because that's not what I meant. And I did this where my brain goes to the worst extreme possible, and it's kind of like what you said. It's like I'm not really thinking. I'm believing everything that's, like, coming in my brain. And so it can create a spiral.

Pastor Judah Smith (7:40)

Yep.

Bryce Crawford (7:40)

You know. So how do you begin to deal with those thoughts and things like that? How do you. How do you handle the overthinking?

Pastor Judah Smith (7:50)

My therapist, who we did a project together, and I'm excited about it. But he literally, this simple phrase. It's so simple. Don't believe everything you think now, that can become pretty overwhelming, too. And it's like, I doubt everything I think now, but that because I'm such a, like, feeler, I really absorbed every thought and was like, that's just like, that's it, bro. That's like, Bible. And you got to question some of your thoughts. Okay. So I want to be the most honest about when I get in my head and when I overthink things. And the truth is, hearing myself talk to God out loud in the bathtub helps me a lot. So I'll literally say to God, I really need you to help me here. I'm really overdoing this. I'm overthinking this. I know you can hear me. I feel kind of dumb because sometimes I don't hear anything. But I know you're there, and I need you to know, like, I need, you know, my. My thought life is stormy, and it's like, you know, white caps and waves, and it's, like, a lot. I need you to, you know, calm, calm, you know, my mind that Helps a lot, by the way. Even the research and study, even if you don't believe in God, talking out loud to a higher being is, like, scientifically proven that it actually sues your soul and is helpful. In our case, we believe that we're talking to Jesus and he's alive and he really helps us. And then a few trusted people that. That I can process with, bro. Recently, I will say the biggest challenge in my entire life. This has never happened to me. I'm 46 years old. I told Chelsea the other day, I suddenly had the wildest thoughts that I can't trust my wife, and she doesn't have my best interest. I promise you, like, had a lot of different struggles in our marriage, but, like, I've always been confident, and that's been really interesting. I have felt like. And ironically, I'm working on, like, helping people with this book and with thoughts and suddenly, like, this whole new threat of, like, I can't trust my most trusted people. And, man, it's been really unnerving. And so I'll just say the way I've combated that is I've told them, I've told my most trusted people that I've had random thoughts that I can't trust them. And I feel weird saying it. I mean, Chelsea and I went on a walk a couple nights ago, and she's like, baby, are you serious? I was like, yeah, I know it's dumb. I'm so sorry. She's like, no, thank you for telling me, like, I love you. Like, I'm going to be praying for you. And as silly as it sounds, like, even her not freaking out and being like, what? Like, you could trust me, bro. Like, what are you talking? You know, that in and of itself, really, really helped me. But I don't know, man. I do feel bad, you know, sometimes answering questions like this and telling people, like, go to trusted people, because someone could be watching right now, and they're like, yeah, I don't have a trusted person. And the only thing I can say is, he leads me to a tower. He leads me to a high point that's higher than myself. That scripture is this poetry that says, like, God. God brings you to this place where you can trust him and you can tell him and you can offload everything you have to him. And I really do that, bro. Like, I really talk out loud to God and I tell him how I feel, and I. I can't imagine where I'd be emotionally if I didn't do that. Some people make it this I'm a big prayer guy. Yeah. But let's say what it is. I'm a big talking out loud to God guy. Like, that helps me more then, then I'm even probably willing to admit.

Bryce Crawford (11:32)

Yeah. I mean, I think there's so much beauty in that because I, I feel like even the times in my life when I talk out loud to God or tell like, or I just shared with Maddie, like, hey, this just random thing is bothering me. It almost like makes it lose its power a little bit over me. It's like, oh, that's really not as bad as I thought it was. And, and I enjoy that. I enjoy getting, it's like uncomfortable good tension of like, getting to share that. Yeah. It's so crazy. Even, like, I feel in today's society, we have, we have access to literally everyone on the planet. And one of my, like, one of my, like, amazing mentors and close friend was like, he was like, hey, Bryce, a lot of people have a view of your life, but few people have a voice in your life. And I think there's truth to that. And I'm like, well, you know, it's like, weird because I don't trust all of these voices, but for some reason I'm like, giving them the trust because I, like, listen to, I'm like, listening to them and that's, that's how it goes. Or it's like I don't even want to listen to them, but because of my phone and things like that, it's like it just pops up on my feed. And I remember, like, there was like one morning where I have a life coach and a therapist and all this other stuff. And we work on this thing about overthinking and perspective and because I'm, I'm a feeler too. And I love, I, I, I love people. And when people's opinions and things like that, they can affect me.

Pastor Judah Smith (13:04)

Yeah. Yeah.

Bryce Crawford (13:04)

And I remember I was doing so good at a week where I'm just like, man, I'm conquering this thing. And then I open up my phone for I wake up, open up my phone, open up TikTok, the first video that pops up on my phone. I'm not kidding, word for word. It's funny to laugh about now, but it was like a guy in the title of the video said, why Bryce Crawford sucks. And it would, like, had a bunch of, like, views. And I remember sitting there and I remember it just affected me so bad. And I was like, first of all, I was like, how does that even get recommended to Me? How does that even algorithms the worst even happen? I even watch my own videos, and I got recommended that video. But I remember, like, thinking about the whole trajectory of that day, and I was like, man, my whole mood was off. Like, I didn't even know. I didn't even. Like, my workout was awful. I was like, down and this and. Yeah. And. And even in those moments, do you ever feel like. Do you ever feel like. When you deal with people's opinions or overthinking the, like, prison that you were talking about, that cage in your brain, do you ever just feel like, I like you, like, self isolate.

Pastor Judah Smith (14:17)

Yeah.

Bryce Crawford (14:17)

You know, like, you kind of, like, hide.

Pastor Judah Smith (14:19)

Yep.

Bryce Crawford (14:20)

Yeah. What do you do in those hiding moments?

Pastor Judah Smith (14:22)

Oh, man, that's such a good question. I'd like to ask you that. I do have a question I have to ask you at some point, too, but I. I won't forget it because I'm really, really interested in your perspective. I think. Yeah, hiding's like a real thing, and I think we do it without thinking, is ironic because we're talking about thinking, but suddenly something tells us in our human condition, like, okay, I'm over sharing. I'm saying too much. You need to, like, like, hide. Which is interesting, right? Because the first question in the sacred scripture of all time, the first question maybe in human history, is God says, you know, where are you? And it's not because he doesn't geographically know where Adam and Eve is, but, right, the statement's been said. It's that they didn't know where they were. Like, where are you? And perhaps that's some of what we're doing today, too, is, like, asking all of ourselves, like. Like, where are you? I have been struggling, which is weird because I'm 46, and you'd think you'd grow out of this, but I've been struggling lately with this idea of, like, am I as okay as I think I am? Like, I know this sounds weird, bro, but narcissism, like, when I was your age, like, I don't even. Didn't even know the word existed, and I certainly didn't know how to spell it. But narcissism now is, like, thrown around. Like, if you, like, drink too much soda, you're a narcissist. You know, like, if you. If you, like, look at yourself in the mirror too long, you're a narcissist. If you, like, you know, comb your hair, you're a narcissist. You know, whatever. Or if you, like, take a selfie and, like, you're clearly looking at yourself and not the camera lens. You're not, you know, and so, like, the narcissism thing, like, at my age kind of haunts me. And I'm like, maybe I'm a narcissist. Like, for sure. Like, I think I think about myself all the time. And so you get in your head. And I think my antidote for any of those crippling fears is like, I'm going to go away. And what I mean by that is, like, I'm going to throw this thing in autopilot and I'm going to do this like, hey, man, good to see you. Good to see you too. How are you? Good. How are you? Good. And I'm not saying that, like, you know, people you randomly meet for 10 seconds, you don't just go, good, good. Hey, good to see, you know, courtesy and kindness and decorum. But I'm talking about, like, people that I do life with. Suddenly I go into that, like, I'm good. You good? Yeah, good. How are you? Great. Good to see you. I can do it with my kids, I can do it with my wife, I can do it with my best friends. And what am I doing? Well, I'm hiding, but the reason I'm doing it is because I don't know where I am. And I'm not sure I want to know where I am because I'm afraid of where I am. And, like, if you're like me, being married 25 years means there's going to come a time where your spouse comes to you and basically says you, you got to get your stuff together. You know, and maybe other words were used, but you got to get your stuff together. Like, you don't follow through. You're not available. Like, this is marriage, right? You have this moment where your wife's like, we're not connecting. What's wrong with you? Like, are you okay? And boy, there's that moment where the love of your life is asking you to, like, are you okay? And my biggest fear is that I'm not okay. That I've become something that I despise, that I'm a self serving, self absorbed male who only thinks about himself, is not there for his kids, is insensitive to his wife. And all of a sudden, it's so funny, bro, those conversations, they've all started. We've had maybe a hundred of them in our 25 years of marriage. And you know what's wild, Bryce, is every time Chelsea's like, are you okay? My response is, yeah, I'M good. And instantly, the hiding begins. Yeah, I'm good. What are you talking about? Or worse, I turn it on her. Like, oh, I'm not okay. Maybe you're not okay.

Bryce Crawford (18:14)

No.

Pastor Judah Smith (18:15)

And it's just like, what am I doing? I'm deflecting and I'm hiding. The only thing I can say that gets me out of that, like, bro, it's a root. Like, it's. It's. It's a rut that I fall into. It's like, I have brain grooves around that. It's literally how I protect myself is this overwhelming, unconditional, unrelenting love that God has for the real me. And I promise I'm done. But I'll say this. I got on this train of thought that what does God want from my life? Like, ultimately, what does God want? Because, like, you're. You're a very driven person. You know, you want to change the world, and you want to help people, and you're doing it, bro, and I freaking love it. And I, I. I'm with you. Like, I'm. I so love what you're doing. But we ask ourselves, like, is God in heaven? Being like. Finally, Bryce did another podcast, and that's the podcast I needed for finally the kingdom of God to be established on earth. Meaning, like, my preaching, your podcasting, your preaching, my podcasting, writing more books is what God wants from us. Like this. Always pleased with this. He's called us to do this. God told you do this. Like, I'm with you. But ultimately, what does God want from my life? What does he want? Right? And, like, people are watching right now. Does God want me to be pure? Does God want. Yeah, but, like, what does God ultimately want from Bryce? What does he ultimately want from Judah? And you know what's wild? So I tried as fast as I could to study the Bible or the scripture stories to try to figure out what it was. And my conclusion is one thing, and I think I'm right. And I think what God wants from us, bear with me, is brokenness. And what I mean is what God wants most from our life is us. And guess what? Us is broken. And what God wants is us to give him our brokenness. And so David, in his lowest moment, after killing Bathsheba's husband and, like, taking her, he said, a broken and a contrite spirit. You actually can't deny it. Like, God, you're so desirous of that. And the only thing, what am I doing around, like, preaching, like, a whole sermon? Like, Jude, I ask you one Question. But I'm so passionate about getting out of that hiding zone. And the only way I come out of that is realizing that I literally was designed and made by a God who wants me in all my brokenness, and I can fully bring that to him, and then by doing so, gives me courage to bring it to the people that are closest to me. That was long, bro.

Bryce Crawford (21:01)

Sorry, man. No, I love that. I think that's so sweet. It reminds Me of Matthew 9 When the Pharisees pull up and you got the prostitutes and the tax collectors, and they're all sitting at the table, and they're like, what is Jesus doing with these guys? And. But, like, Jesus isn't looking for the back door. He's not like, oh, shoot, I got to get out of here. Like, and he's. He's there. He's not endorsing, like, them to keep doing what they're doing, right? But he literally says, the healthy don't eat a doctor. The sick do. Like, these guys understand. And I think that can be the scariest part is being vulnerable. It's like, well, what happens with this information? And even for me being a Christian and you being a Christian and constantly dealing with things and. And God working in our lives and God working in my. And in your life and growing and. And finding out, oh, I didn't know I struggled with this thing, or, oh, this thing's popping back up. It is intimidating after you claim to have put faith in Jesus and be set free to go, oh, man, I'm like, this. This thing's coming back on me. Like, I. You know, it's so crazy. I had. When I was 17 and I gave my life to Jesus, I prayed the prayer, God, if you're real, take away my anxiety and depression. I hadn't had crippling anxiety or depression since that day. And three days ago, I had the first anxiety attack I've ever had in my life. Since that moment. I gave my life to Jesus, and I felt like the biggest failure on the planet. I felt like a hypocrite. I was like, oh, my gosh, what am I doing? I had heard a rumor from someone that I used to be close with, and then I ended. It was just like, you know, acted like I brushed it off months ago. It's like, right, I don't really see this person. Then ended up randomly seeing them. And the worst anxiety hit my body shaken. That never. Literally haven't done that since before I was a Christian and freaking out. Almost wanted to cry. Just the fact that I Saw them. And then the whole next day, I'm just in bed all day, didn't get up all day. And I remember sitting there and I was like, man, I just feel like the biggest failure right now. I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I feel like the biggest anything. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to do anything. I. You know, I'm. I missed a close friend's birthday party because I couldn't get out of bed. I'm like, man, what am I? I'm like, you know, I feel like the worst human being on the planet. I feel so. So, like, I've got to do something about it, and I can't do anything about it. And. But it was crazy because in that moment, I found. I found that piece of, like, I had it. The thing I would. The thing I could do about it was being open and vulnerable to God, about the brokenness of, like, yeah, here's the pieces. And it was. It was even like a little bit of like a. There were. You know, there was like a good that came out of it, too, because I'm, you know, I. It was like God was like, hey, you know, sometimes when you. I don't even know how else to phrase this. It's like you go on a streak. Yeah, we went on a street.

Pastor Judah Smith (24:14)

A roll, baby.

Bryce Crawford (24:15)

We were on a roll. No anxiety. Let's go. And then. And it was almost like a. Hey, you need me. You still. You still need me. Like, I need to be the rock. You. You need me. And. And it was so interesting, like, how. Because it was like, I realized that my thoughts affected my heart. How do our thoughts and our anxieties affect our heart?

Pastor Judah Smith (24:42)

I think one of the things in our tradition is we have quite literally disconnected thoughts and feelings when in reality, they are tandem. They're like. They're like twins. They. They work together. And what I mean by that is, is we live in a cerebral society, at least in the, you know, west Western hemisphere. We kind of think our way through life, so. So we speak. And, you know, sometimes feelers get a bad rap, and in other cultures and settings, sometimes thinkers get a bad rap. So, you know, touche. But I think they are intrinsically connected. I think in Scripture they're connected. I wrote a sermon last night at, like, 4:00am in the bathtub, which is very odd. But such is my life. And it, you know, I'm doing this thing on the faith, I feel, and preparing these thoughts around how our tradition has minimized feelings. And we've basically told people to grit, you know, grin and bear it, Pull up your bootstraps and just trust God. I think what you're sharing, bro, is like, okay, so what does Bryce Crawford do, who's a superhero to many? As much as you don't like that term and feels like you're, like, impervious to, like, the evils of darkness, I mean, you're just like, bro, you are just, like, freaking on the streets doing this thing, and you're inspiring millions of people, and it's like, so. So did Bryce Crawford do something wrong because three days ago you couldn't get out of bed? Did you not have enough faith? Did you sin and so that caused it? Well, the answer is we've all sinned. So that's a never ending, you know, cycle and train of thought. So we hop off that train of thought and then go, well, what happened? Well, I'll tell you what three days ago proves. It proves one thing overwhelmingly, and that is that you are, in fact, human. And you're a guy, and we're human. And you know what I love about you is that you love so deeply. And I think in our culture, we think we can be selective with that. But what I've learned, bro, I've had friends that won't talk to me anymore. I had a whole combo yesterday with a buddy who I was like, dude, I've texted him like, seven times. He won't text me back. And my expression to him was like, bro, I can't turn off my love for you. Like, I'm trying, but it hurts. When you saw that old friend, like, bro, your heart is your heart, bro. Like, you're a people person. You love deeply. You care deeply. Everyone who knows you knows that. So, like, you see that person. And I mean, I am Certainly no. No PhD. I'm no, you know, philosopher or therapist. But, like, I think your brain and body just goes, I just love this guy so much, and it feels weird. I don't know what to do with it. And then I don't know if that's what causes anxiety. But I. I've been there where I, like, I have so much affection and love for this person, but they won't talk to me anymore, or they, like, hate me, or they spread rumors about me. And. And then I feel absolutely insane because I'm like, why can't I turn off my love for this person? Because then I look at other people and I feel like they're so good at that, bro. Like, they're just like, all right, we're not friends anymore. And I'm like, why do I still want to be friends with them? And why do I hope that they text me tomorrow? Yeah, but I say all that to say, like, I'm definitely not answering your question because I'm not sure I have, like, a great answer. But I just think validating a little bit, maybe validating isn't the right word, but like, owning and absorbing and recognizing that, like, God knows we have feelings, bro, and he knows we have thoughts that float into our head that are so destructive, and he knows that we're weak. And I don't know, the apostle Paul is like, yo, God, take this weakness from me. Take this thorn in the flesh. And we could go on and on about what we think it is. But then God's like, nah, when you're weak, then you're strong. Because that's when my power is like, most prevalent and obvious. And I personally think this is breathing. Probably neither the time or the place that I think a lot of your incredible influence and impact is because you're a new kind of communicator, preacher, leader, evangelist, all the different titles. I don't know what your title is or what any of our titles are, but, like, you're willing to be like, bro, here's what I'm going through, like not three years ago, but three days ago. And I think all of us are like, oh, thank God, because me too, bro, and this is hard. And I, I think what I, what I love about you and what I applaud and what I only encourage you to be more of is like, you're, you're fully you. You're like, this is my story. This is what I've been through. And if nothing else, bro, I don't know why three days happened happened three days ago that happened. But, man, I know for a fact that this old 46 year old sitting here going like, well, it's nice to know that, you know, Bryce isn't superhuman. It's nice to know that Bryce still has challenges. And I think it's, you know, I know it's sadistic, bro, but people identify with our weaknesses far more than our strengths. And your weakness that you've been able to willingly share with all of us continues to be an incredible source of encouragement. And maybe there's somebody watching this that can't get out of bed. And maybe our response isn't like, get out of bed and trust God. It's like, lay there and ask him to meet you and show you his love. And I'm believing that. I've been in bed, bro. I've been there, bro. I definitely been where I can't get out of bed 100%.

Bryce Crawford (30:34)

Yeah.

Pastor Judah Smith (30:35)

And most of it was, for me, was sadness. But we're here. We're here right now, bro. Like, so we got out of bed. We know. And that's. And that's a victory. I don't know what in the world I just said in answer to that question, but that's how I feel.

Bryce Crawford (30:48)

No, I love it. I love it. And I think, man, I. I even just am thinking now, like, you know, the overthinking, the people's opinions, so letting. Letting opinions and words affect you, man, I hate. I hate. Yes. I hate the phrase sticks and stones may break my bones.

Pastor Judah Smith (31:08)

My world's whenever.

Bryce Crawford (31:08)

Words will never hurt me. I'm like, oh, my gosh. You got to be like, the. The. You must be living under a rock.

Pastor Judah Smith (31:13)

Literally.

Bryce Crawford (31:14)

You think that. Literally. I'm like, what is going on? And, you know, I think some of the hardest things for me, and I think this can speak to so many people, right? Like, you know, it may not be a hate video. It may be, like, the person in your school that you see every day. It may be the employee that you work with, the co worker, and maybe that thing. I think one of the hardest things for me can be, you know, hearing something or seeing something negative and then having something to do after I see that thing, you know, especially, like. Especially, like, I think that I really believe one of the devil's biggest wars against me is when I'm getting ready to go preach. I hear something from my family. Like something's happening in my family life or something. Or I hear this opinion, or I see this bad video, and then I'm just like, I'm really supposed to go. I'm supposed to record this podcast right now on how. How to. How to overcome anxiety. And. And I'm over here thinking about this opinion, and I'm just, like, sad, and I can't even. You know, how. I mean, is there. Is there even in. Because the initial instinct, like we said, it's like the hide. It's like, you know, kick the ice cube underneath the fridge and just act like it's not there anymore. You know, it's like you kind of kick it under there. But every. Every time I do that, I. I look back on my life. Like, every time I've tried to run from the problems, they just follow me, and it's like, oh, I gotta forget, and then I gotta go on. And I gotta preach, and I've gotta act like, oh, I've got it together. And then it's like, I'm. I'm preaching Jesus, and I believe what I'm preaching. But then in the back of my mind, I'm just thinking about the phone call. I had two minutes walking up that. The escalator, going to the mall to pray for people, and I'm like, you know, man, Jesus, thank you. And I'm praying. But then the intrusive thought, the bad thought is like, and this person hates me now. Or this is. This is. This thing's my fault. Even if it's not, you know, is it. How can we. How can we learn? You know, maybe it's the kid at school. Like, you hear the rumor and it's like, you have to enter. You have to see this person interact with them. You know, they may not not even know that you know about the rumor or the. Like, how do you. How can we conquer that thing? You know? How do we deal with that?

Pastor Judah Smith (33:43)

Ironically, that's literally the one question I wanted to ask you today in terms of, like. Because I feel like your experience on the Internet has been so unique to me because of my age and era. I'm like, bro, how do you deal with. With painful things said about you on the Internet? Like, what is your go to? What's the one most productive thing? I definitely have a response to your questions, and I'm not. I'm not the interviewer. I'm not trying to turn it back on you, but I genuinely, curiously, honestly, the thought was thinking about you last night, and, like, what is. Like, what is Bryce's go to? You've been so willing to put yourself out there and even, like, share your thoughts on scriptures that have been debated for thousands of years. You know, you're like, bro. And. Which I just applaud and I love. But, yeah, what is your go to? I don't know if you want to go or if you want me to go, but, like, I. I'd really love to hear that.

Bryce Crawford (34:44)

I. I don't want to say I'll give, like, my go to, but it's not, like, my immediate response most of the time. It's not my immediate response most of the time. Definitely not. I know that feeling. Yeah, it takes a lot of, like, I. I do a lot of the talking out loud to God, too. The praying, just make out what's going on or, like. And my prayers for that stuff is like, dang, that sucked. Are you kidding me? Like, I've looked up that to that guy since I was saved. I just can't believe he doesn't even know me. Yeah, he just said that like, I'm 21. I'm like, what's going on? So you know that that's. I, I try to pray and I try to, I, I try my best to talk to the people that I'm closest with and receive encouragement and just go like, hey, you know this thing's happening. Or kind of bring it up in conversation and hear what they think. I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't have an antidote. I'm not even gonna lie. That's probably been the hardest thing I've had to deal with is just go like, dang, I'm not making an excuse about my age. I understand. I'm young, I'm still learning. But, but I think, I definitely think that's the hardest thing is just being, being misunderstood. And, and, and, and people saying stuff like it makes me feel not trustworthy. It makes me feel like I shouldn't be doing it anymore. It makes me want to go to the Verizon store, buy a flip phone and move to Kansas with a town of 32 people. That's what makes me want to do. But I find myself not doing it. And I think the thing that pulls me out of that and gives me the most encouragement is I'm remembering I'm not doing this for myself. And I'm doing this because I feel like God's telling me to do it and I'm supposed to do it. And the day I stop is the day that God tells me to stop. But I think, I think it's just so hard. And I think even the most beautiful moments is when I receive an encouraging text randomly and timely from someone like yourself that just sends me a hey, I love you. Thinking about you, it makes me go. That is really the most encouraging thing, I think practically because it goes me even in the midst of the crowd noise that I know everyone I love is seeing me right now is seeing this stuff that 99% of the time is not true. That the people that are closest to me aren't letting that affect them and they still say I love you. And, and you know, my grandma is so sweet, man, she sends me the hate videos all the time by accident. Cuz she thinks, she thinks that they're like good videos. Like she sees the thumbnail. No, she'll see the thumbnail be like, bryce, look, this dude made a video about you. And I'm Like, I'm sitting there like, grandma, Grandma, that you don't. You don't need to watch that video. Or you go, you're gonna hit the prayer closet again for me. You know, it's. It's like. I mean, I love juju. I love juju. Sometimes I. I get a text and I'm like, oh, and show you. Like, oh, my goodness, this person made a video about you. Oh, snap, Grandma. Like, not that kind of video, but. Yeah, I just think that's the most encouraging thing. It's. It's just the unconditional love aspect of it.

Pastor Judah Smith (38:04)

Yeah.

Bryce Crawford (38:05)

You know, like, all. All the junk's on display. All the flaws are on display. Yes, I've taught things wrong. Yes, I've made my attempt to break down the scriptures that have been debated on for thousands of years. And I've definitely done an awful job sometimes. Definitely butchered it, definitely been debunked, tweeted about all that whole nine yards. And it's. But even in the midst of that, that's where the. The grace is literally from that scripture. When in Matthew 9, Jesus's response, He says.

Pastor Judah Smith (38:34)

After.

Bryce Crawford (38:34)

He says, the hell, you don't need a doctor. The sick do. He says, hey, Pharisees, get a load of this. And then come back to me when you figure this out. I desire mercy, not sacrifice. And I'm just like, dang. Like, I. That hits me so hard right there, I think, because even in. Because the world wants you to do. Bryce said something wrong. Fix it. Go study. Go get the degree. Go do the. Do something about it. Then you do something about it. And they're still not satisfied in the doing. And I reflect. I'm like, I tried to do so much, much before I was a Christian because my heart was so broken. And that led me wanting to take my life because I was doing so much to fix it, and the doing didn't fix it. And so I'm just like, where am I at? And then the. I desire mercy, not sacrifice. Like, the grace empowers me to fix it. I don't fix it because I feel the pressure of the people, which. I learned that from you last time we sat down. So thank you for that. Thank you for that encouragement.

Pastor Judah Smith (39:33)

I'm learning it in real time. I so love that Matthew 9 passage you just quoted. Right. So Jesus says, and I'll use that as, like, a springboard to respond to and just add to what you're saying, which is so good. Jesus says, I desire mercy and not sacrifice. Okay, what's mercy? Well, mercy, by definition is not getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don't deserve. Mercy is the.

Bryce Crawford (40:02)

The.

Pastor Judah Smith (40:04)

The. The generosity of God to say what you deserve is judgment and death, but I'm not going to give it to you. So, and. And I. God says I desire that. Jesus says, I desire that instead of sacrifice. I think there's a whole worldview and identity locked up in that statement. What am I going to focus on about me? All my sacrifice, all that? I. Here's what happens to me, Bryce. Happens all the time. People criticize me, and here's what my brain does, bro. You have any idea what. What it's like to be me, bro? Do you know how much I've sacrificed? Do you know, it's. And that's the theme that starts to bubble up, right? It's like, bro, like, I could be doing anything, bro. Like, I, like, man, I pray every day and I start doing, like, my statistics, my spiritual stats. I've sacrificed so much, bro. Like, church people have come to the church and left the church. And I was preaching 14 sermons a week, kind of in my peak, and I was like, how do they know, right? Jesus says, it's not what I desire. I don't want you to see yourself through the lens of sacrifice. I don't want your theme of your life to be sacrifice and all that you've sacrificed. You know what I desire? A life framed by mercy. What if all of my critics, and there always will be, and by the way, caveat, the fact that any of us have critics, how blessed are we? Apparently we have done something noteworthy enough that people want to comment on it. And by the way, Bishop Jake used to say, like, you better hope to God that there's going to be somebody, somewhere, something that proves that at one point you were here, because that'll be a thrill, like Bryce Crawford was here. What are the ways we'll know Bryce Crawford was here? One of them might be all the criticism you took. You know, it's like, well, Bryce was here, dog. Like you. You did something so noteworthy, it really riled people up. And there is an honor to that. And that gets me to like, what if we framed our life through mercy? And here's what I mean. Instead of telling ourselves, look at what we deserve because of what we sacrificed, what if we framed our whole life like this? You know what I deserve? I deserve judgment. I deserve death. And God doesn't give me what I deserve. You know what I am? I am the most fortunate, blessed, favored, graced person, imaginable you know what? Yeah, this hurts. People are saying things. It's not fair. It's not true. They're spreading lies. You know, we laughed before we started. This, like, the cult leader thing came out around me, and I'm like, what? Like, that hurt my feelings so bad because I was like, cults are really bad, and they really hurt people. And I'm like, I was trying to help people. Like, I don't want to be a cult leader. I'm not a cult leader. But it's like, instead of, do you know how much I sacrifice? You know, how much I give away? Do you know how much, you know, like, instead going, man, God has been so good to me, and. And this leads me to this, right? So if my life and ministry gets framed by mercy, which everything becomes a bonus, by the way. Like, gratitude is the antidote to entitlement. Entitlement says, I'm owed this. I deserve this. Like, gratitude says, like, dude, I'm so blessed to. On your podcast. Like, this is a thrill for me. I can't believe. This is awesome, right? Entitlement is like, I should do you know, it's two different ways of living. Sacrifice, mercy. I'll say this. I think the way you develop a mercy mentality, which is, life's a bonus. What I really deserve is nothing and hell and judgment. Instead, God gives me meaning, purpose, life, and Maddie, you know, whatever. Chelsea, you know, like, God has given us these big old bonuses, and all of this is bonus. And there's this little concept in the New Testament called waiting. Wait for the Lord and he'll, you know, by the way, the earliest followers were told, go to Jerusalem and just sit there until he shows up with power. And then you'll know you're to go. The word wait in the New Testament means to whirl. To whirl. Here's what I think. I'm trying to practice right now in my life to whirl with God in the wonder of his mercy towards me. Because I think what that means is I think the walking around Jericho is a portrait of whirling. What are we doing? I don't know. Are we doing anything? I don't know. Why are we still walking? God told us to. This is kind of wild. This is. All right, what are we doing? They have time to think, process, talk. Whirl with God. Whirl with God. Whirl, you know, dance until you feel like dancing. You know, whirl until you feel the wonder, ruminate. Sometimes you whirl with friends. Sometimes you whirl only with God. But meaning, like, talk it out, process it, and get to that point that says, wait a minute, the fact that I'm even alive, bro, is crazy.

Bryce Crawford (45:32)

Yeah.

Pastor Judah Smith (45:33)

The fact that, like, I get to do this, the fact that I get to live in LA as a neighbor to Bryce Crawford and we get to be on this podcast, the fact that anybody's watching. Wait a minute, bro. Bonus. Blessing. Unbelievable. This is incredible. All I'm saying is the only traction I personally have experienced is some form of leaning on the seeing my life through mercy. I'm owed nothing, entitled to nothing, and everything is bonus and blessing. I deserve death and judgment, but God withholds what I deserve so that I can have this life. And honestly, I know this sounds strange, but there is case for this in the New Testament, where you start to think, thank God for people that don't like you. I know that sounds weird, but it's like, well, at least I'm on somebody's mind, you know? I mean, that's bonus. And I know that sounds asinine and crazy, particularly if you're in pain right now because, like, that person in high school keeps gossiping about you and they're spreading lies about you, and it's super, super painful. But, man, I just know it can work for me. It can work for anybody. I really find myself sometimes. It takes time. It takes, you know, trusted friends. But we start to whirl. We start to whirl. We start to whirl. Bro, what a bonus. I can't believe we're alive. This is incredible. By the way, I love this Quest bar. It tastes so good. I love Celsius. This is fun. I love caffeine. You know, whatever the simplest little thing is. Like, it really stands to wonder that he desires a life of mercy, not sacrifice. And a life where we're owed nothing, entitled to nothing, and everything is bonus. And that. I mean, I'm saying it right now, bro, because it helps me while I say it, you know, like, it really. I'll drive home better for this moment because I'm whirling right now while I'm talking about whirling. And I'm galvanizing again, gratitude in my soul and in my heart that I love this life. I chose this life. I'm blessed to have it. It's all gift. And God has been very gracious.

Bryce Crawford (47:37)

Dang. That. I think that is the most encouraging thing about Jesus. It just reminds me of. Yeah. Just again, like, I feel like with the overthinking, the bad thoughts, the anxieties of the world. My immediate response is, what could Bryce do to get out of this hole? That my thoughts are convincing me that I've created or that's my fault. And then it's like when Jesus is. Is getting baptized before he ever did any ministry, did anything, God's like, yep, that's my son. And I'm completely pleased and content with him just existing and being loved by me. And it. And I love what you're saying. It's like the mercy of God, the grace of God empowers me to shift my perspective and have the gratitude and have the grace for other people, the love for other people. It's so encouraging, really is. I want to talk about your book. For people listening. This is a zoomed in out perspective of the wisdom that Judah and his therapist.

Pastor Judah Smith (48:48)

Yeah.

Bryce Crawford (48:49)

Have put into this book. I really believe. And I'm not. I'm not saying this just to butter you up. I really mean this. Like, I glean from you, I appreciate you. I believe the wisdom that God has inside of you through your life experience and through your love for the word of God is so specific, especially to my generation. And I believe that the value and the vulnerability you bring into. Into this book and into this conversation is going to impact people. Can you talk a little bit about it? The heart behind it kind of specifics?

Pastor Judah Smith (49:21)

It's called Bad Thoughts. But the real origin story is this simple. I had never heard of a preacher writing a book with his therapist. And so the original title was like a preacher in a shrink walk into a bar, you know, whatever. But like, it was like a preacher in a shrink. And I was like, I just, I never heard of a preacher having a shrink and then telling everybody about his sessions with his shrink. And I just think in my era, preachers became like this, this completed package that was like, we all aspire to be. And then I became one. And I was like, oh, bro, we're damaged goods like anybody else. Like, we're just. We are works in progress. And that's a nice way to say it. And so I was like, bro, I just need to write a book with my therapist who will remember all the therapy sessions, because I won't. And he'll. He'll use the same stuff he used on me and we'll put it in a book. And so we did the five most Toxic thoughts People Are Thinking right now in the whole world based on our study and research, and then how to not think them and how to replace them with other things. And so we talk about Guilt. Talk about entitlement. We talk about, you know, accepting the love of God. But all these. Yeah, it's. I don't know. It says, a preacher and a shrink's guide to reclaiming your mind and soul. Wow. That's quite a promise, but sweet. I just wanted people to be like, yo, bro, if God can do that for Judah, he could do that for anybody. Like, this is really me. I doodle in it. I try to, like, draw these. I don't know if it came out great, but, like, I draw pictures and stuff because I'm trying to, like, keep myself interested. It's also. I really mean this. It's a short, easy read that makes you feel smart, and that is underestimated in this life. Okay. That is because you need the feeling of, like, dude, I read a book today. Y. I think I'm smart.

Bryce Crawford (51:08)

Y.

Pastor Judah Smith (51:09)

And I feel accomplished. So, by the way, that's a big deal for me. I've. I've only read, like, so many books all the way through. One of them happens to be the Bible, so that's good. So that's kind of my life's work, you know, in terms of talking about it. But, like, this is, like, you can get through this so easily. And a lot of it is conversations Les and I are having, and it's. It's. It's short chapters, and so at least you'll be encouraged. Like, dude, I read a book, but the less is a PhD and he really uses, like, really real science and stuff. And then I just. I'm like, well, here's what the Bible says, and here's how Jesus has changed my life. And then we recount some of our stories. So it's. It. It's less of a book, and it's more of, like, here's like, a journal from me and my therapy sessions. And I thought that would be refreshing in an age where politicians and preachers seem so polished.

Bryce Crawford (51:58)

Yeah, I think it's so timely. I mean, there's such an urgency for material like this because my generation is riddled with guilt, shame, anxiety, intrusive thoughts. I believe partially because we have access to literally anything and everything in two clicks of a button. And pros and cons to that?

Pastor Judah Smith (52:20)

Pros and cons.

Bryce Crawford (52:21)

We're talking about the cons right now. But, yeah, I just think there's such an urgency. And that's also encouraging that it's a good, easy read with depth, man. I want to really encourage everyone listening or watching to please go get Bad Thoughts by Pastor Judah.

Pastor Judah Smith (52:39)

And we did an audiobook, which, by the way, that's like, what I'm doing. Yeah, I read it. Yeah.

Bryce Crawford (52:43)

Yes.

Pastor Judah Smith (52:43)

So lesson I did an audiobook. So please everybody, if you're like me, you can get the book to put on your shelf if that makes you feel good. But just get the audio.

Bryce Crawford (52:50)

If you love his soothing voice, get the audiobook.

Pastor Judah Smith (52:54)

Really? Really was extra deep, too in. In the recording.

Bryce Crawford (52:58)

Oh, that's great.

Pastor Judah Smith (52:59)

I sound pretty smart.

Bryce Crawford (53:00)

Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. So if you guys want smart, Pastor Judah, go get the audiobook to Bad Thoughts. No, seriously, guys, like, please go get bad thoughts. I love and respect Pastor Judah. I'm just really grateful for this. So it comes out end of September.

Pastor Judah Smith (53:15)

End of September, Yep.

Bryce Crawford (53:16)

But can. Can they pre order, right?

Pastor Judah Smith (53:18)

Yeah, you can pre order on Amazon and stuff. So thank you, bro. Thank you for having me on. I. I really love you. You're such a voice to our generation. This generation, my generation, the younger jet. Like, it's. It's. It's absolutely astronomical to watch what. What God is doing with you. And I am grateful to be your friend. And we do have to make good on that double date.

Bryce Crawford (53:43)

We do. We got to do the guys. The double day, if you remember from the last podcast about is still happening.

Pastor Judah Smith (53:48)

Still pending.

Bryce Crawford (53:49)

It's pending. It's being planned.

Pastor Judah Smith (53:51)

We're going to do.

Bryce Crawford (53:52)

It's not abandoned. We're going to do it.

Pastor Judah Smith (53:53)

And I'm paying.

Bryce Crawford (53:54)

No way.

Pastor Judah Smith (53:54)

Yeah. No, bro, I'm old. Like, I have to pay. Like, that's part of the deal.

Bryce Crawford (53:58)

We dine and dash. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Okay. Yes.

Pastor Judah Smith (54:04)

Driving. And we're out.

Bryce Crawford (54:05)

See, we got all. Got to go to the bathroom at the same time.

Pastor Judah Smith (54:09)

Thank you for Maddie and Chelsea would never, like, let us do this.

Bryce Crawford (54:11)

I appreciate you and love you and thanks for believing in our generation, and I love being your friend as well.

Pastor Judah Smith (54:16)

Thanks, bro.

Bryce Crawford (54:17)

Let's go, guys. Thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. If you guys like it, subscribe to us on YouTube, follow us on Spotify, Instagram, and TikTok. Bless you guys and see you guys next week for the next episode.