← The Candy Valentino Show
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Welcome to the Candy Valentino show, the podcast for founders, investors and entrepreneurs where we have honest conversations about what it takes to grow your business, build more wealth and create financial freedom.
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Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode of the show. I'm Candy Valentino and thanks for joining us for five minutes of Motivation, where we give you fast, powerful insights on how to dominate life, business and wealth. And today's topic is an important one, critical, crucial. Two words, emotional control. Because here's the truth. The person who masters their emotions masters the game. You've seen it. Business negotiations, leadership, relationships. The person who stays calm, focused and in control always wins. The person who is erratic and emotional, they lose before the game even starts. So I wanna break this down, cause this is critically important. I saw this play out in my own life just recently and I wanted to bring it onto the podcast because I believe that if you can master your emotions, you can dominate any situation. So let's get into it. Step one, understand that emotions are just data. Most people think emotions are who they are, but it's wrong. Emotions are just signals. Whether they are your emotions or someone else's emotions, they're actually telling you something. They're not controlling you, not controlling them. Anger, frustration, doubt, whatever it may be, anxiety, those are all data points. It's not an instruction. You get to decide what to do with them. It's like reviewing a P and L. We get to see all of these line items and expenses and income. We get to decide what they mean. Emotions are the same. So when you or someone that you are working with is feeling triggered and displaying a certain type of emotion, I always ask myself two questions. One, what is this emotion telling me? Regardless if it's my own emotion or somebody else's emotion, I'm always looking at why is this happening and what is this telling me? You know, oftentimes if you're in the middle of an acquisition or a business deal or some negotiation, when someone is having a highly triggered emotion to the situation that isn't warranted, it's typically because of something else that's going on in their life. And the same would be true in life and relationships. So it's always good to ask, what is this emotion telling me? And the second question I ask is, is this reaction validation? Is it useful? Is it actually harmful? And that's again, whether it's my own or someone else's. When you take a moment to separate yourself from that emotion, whether it's yours or someone else's, you regain control. You get to decide what to do next. That is where the power lies. And in order to do that, you need step two, which is to control your physiology. When emotions run high, the very first thing it does, it charges up your body. Ever been in a heated conversation with someone and your heart starts racing, your breath gets shallow, your muscles tense, your neck starts to hurt. That is your body, your physiology, reacting to the emotion. The way that you take control back instantly is to do this. Number one, slow your breathing. I literally will do this in a heated exchange, argument, negotiation, whatever it is, where I will just take a minute, Slow down my inhales, hold. Slow down my exhales. Literally. Slowing down your breathing will reduce your nervous system's reaction to whatever it is that's going on. The second thing is take a check on your posture. Is your jaw clenched or your shoulders tight? Unclench it. Drop your shoulders. Do you need to move? Do you need to slow down your actions with the way that you talk, what it is that you're doing, so that you can signal to your brain, I've got this. We're good. Your body triggers your mind. Not the opposite. Your body triggers your mind. I want you to get that. So you need to make sure that you use it to stay calm when you're under pressure. And that brings us to the third step, Pause. Developing a pause response is powerful. Reacting emotionally to something literally hands over your power. Whether it's business, relationships, conflict, negotiation, whatever it is. The person who speaks first and loudest out of emotion usually loses your edge comes from mastering the pause. Take a deep breath. Slow that breathing. Unclench anything that's going on in your body. Jaw, shoulders, count to three. Ask yourself, will this response get me what I want? And silence makes people uncomfortable, so use it to your advantage. A well timed pause makes you look stronger, more in control, and it forces the other person to reveal more. There is so much power in the pause. Never let external chaos control your inner state. The world is chaotic. People are chaotic. They will test you. Situations will push you. The state that you hold internally is your fortress. And no one gets in unless you allow it. Because once you control your response, you control the game, my friend. All right, guys, that's his Today's five minute motivation. If you like this, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Subscribe to the show, leave a review. I'll see you next time. Hey, guys, thanks for tuning in to this episode. And if there was something that you loved or you had a specific takeaway, share it and tag me Andy Valentino. And if you haven't already, grab a copy of my latest book, the 9% Edge Life Changing Secrets to create more revenue for your business and more freedom for yourself. You can pick it up anywhere books are sold, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or your local independent store. And once you do, head over to 9% edge.com and claim $1500 in pre order bonuses, including a chance to join me on this very show. Thanks so much for tuning in and spending this time with me today guys. We'll see you next time.