The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz)
Episode: Day 306 – Gift of Self (2025)
Date: November 2, 2025
Host: Fr. Mike Schmitz
Coverage: Catechism of the Catholic Church, Paragraphs 2346–2350
Episode Overview
On Day 306 of The Catechism in a Year, Fr. Mike Schmitz explores the “integrality of the gift of self,” reflecting on how chastity is not merely about saying “no” to certain behaviors, but about achieving true self-mastery so that one may fully say “yes” in love. He explains various forms of chastity according to different states of life, underscores the pivotal role of friendship, and reiterates the significance of making a gift of oneself as the core of love. As always, Fr. Mike encourages compassion, patience, and hope in the daily struggle toward virtue, particularly in the modern cultural context.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Context and Recap
- Fr. Mike recalls previous discussions on chastity:
- Chastity as the “successful integration of sexuality within the person” (01:50)
- Self-mastery is described as “a long and exacting work” and an “apprenticeship in human freedom.” (02:15)
- He acknowledges the increased difficulty of living chastely in today’s world due to widespread access to “distortion.” (03:30)
Notable Quote:
"Where you live right now, meaning in the time period in which we're all living, it is more difficult than maybe literally than ever, to have a mind and a heart that can remain pure.”
— Fr. Mike quoting Jason Evert (04:00)
2. The Gift of Self and Chastity’s Deeper Purpose
- Moving beyond mere self-denial, chastity is fundamentally about being able to make a “gift of oneself.” (06:15)
- Love, defined as “willing the good of the other,” requires integrity and unity—not fragmentation or self-division. (06:50)
- Fr. Mike distinguishes chastity from celibacy, emphasizing they are not synonymous (07:30).
Notable Quote:
“Love is to be a gift...not to be fractured and bifurcated...but the integrality of the gift of self.”
— Fr. Mike (06:55)
3. Chastity and Self-Mastery: The Power to Say ‘No’ and ‘Yes’
- Chastity is described as a “school of the gift of the person.” (09:50)
- The ability to say “no” is essential for the “yes” of self-gift to have meaning. (10:20)
- “If I can't say no, then what does my yes mean?” (10:35)
- Self-mastery is not an end for its own sake, but is “ordered to the gift of self.” (11:13)
Notable Quote:
"If I do not make a gift of myself, then my life is senseless.”
— Fr. Mike paraphrasing St. John Paul II (12:05)
“Chastity leads him who practices it to become a witness to his neighbor of God's fidelity and loving kindness.”
— CCC 2346, highlighted by Fr. Mike (13:10)
4. Chastity Blossoms in Friendship
- True friendship is a paramount place where chastity “blossoms.” (13:32)
- Citing the Greek words for love, especially philia (friendship), Fr. Mike reflects on how rare and valuable real friendship is (14:40).
- C.S. Lewis’ “storge,” “eros,” “philia,” and “agape” are referenced to illustrate the types and depth of love (15:00).
- Friendship is essential for spiritual communion and personal growth.
Notable Quote:
“Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one's neighbor...Whether it develops between persons of the same or opposite sex. Friendship represents a great good for all.”
— CCC 2347, read and expanded by Fr. Mike (13:45)
5. The Various Forms of Chastity & States of Life
- All the baptized are called to chastity, but its expression varies with one’s state of life: married, single, consecrated, widowed (17:05).
- “Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy...Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single.” (17:30)
- St. Ambrose’s three forms of chastity:
- Spouses
- Widows
- Virgins
- These forms are equally valuable; none is above the others (18:00).
Notable Quote:
“We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.”
— CCC 2349, via St. Ambrose (18:12)
6. Chastity for the Engaged: The Time of Testing
- Engaged couples are called to “live chastity in continence,” reserving marital affection for marriage (19:05).
- Engagement is framed as a time for learning mutual respect, apprenticeship in fidelity, and preparation for total self-gift (19:35).
- Fr. Mike offers pastoral reflections on the real challenges engaged couples face, noting “it gets harder” as the relationship deepens (20:00).
Notable Quote:
“Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God.”
— CCC 2350 (19:20)
7. Universal Call to Love in Every State of Life
- Regardless of being single, married, celibate, or widowed, everyone is called to learn how to love—to “make a gift of themselves” (21:00).
- Love continues to be something learned and deepened, not only before marriage but within marriage, and in every state (21:30).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|--------------|-------| | 04:00 | Fr. Mike (quoting Jason Evert) | “Where you live right now… it is more difficult than maybe literally than ever, to have a mind and a heart that can remain pure.” | | 06:55 | Fr. Mike | “Love is to be a gift... not to be fractured and bifurcated... but the integrality of the gift of self.” | | 10:35 | Fr. Mike | “If I can't say no, then what does my yes mean?” | | 12:05 | Fr. Mike (paraphrasing St. JP II) | “If I do not make a gift of myself, then my life is senseless.” | | 13:45 | CCC 2347 via Fr. Mike | “Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one's neighbor... Friendship represents a great good for all.” | | 18:12 | CCC 2349 via St. Ambrose | “We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.” | | 19:20 | CCC 2350 | “Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence… an apprenticeship in fidelity…” |
Important Timestamps for Segments
- 01:50 – Recap on the meaning of chastity and self-mastery
- 04:00 – Challenges of living chastely in today’s culture
- 06:50 – Introduction to the integrality of the gift of self
- 09:50 – Chastity as a “school of the gift of the person”
- 13:32 – Chastity and true friendship
- 17:05 – Various forms of chastity for different life states
- 19:05 – Chastity during engagement
- 21:00 – Universal call to love and self-gift, regardless of state
Tone and Approach
Fr. Mike is warm, direct, pastoral, and practical. He recognizes listeners’ struggles with patience and encouragement, returns often to the core message of hope and perseverance, and grounds everything in both personal experience and the Church’s teaching. His explanations are accessible and empathetic, often using stories, analogies, and references to broader philosophical or literary works.
Conclusion
Day 306 presents chastity as more than a prohibition—it's a positive, dynamic virtue that enables the authentic gift of self in love. Whether single, married, consecrated, or widowed, all are called to cultivate self-mastery, to cherish the value of friendship, and most importantly, to pour themselves out in love according to their state in life. Fr. Mike concludes with a promise of prayer, encouragement, and anticipation for the next episode’s discussion on the “offenses against chastity.”
“If you’re having a difficult time, that’s okay, because why? Because it is a difficult time.”
— Fr. Mike, encouraging patience and compassion (04:35)
“I am praying for you. Please pray for me. My name is Father Mike. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow. God bless.”
— Fr. Mike (Final Words)