Episode Summary: Day 309 – Faithful and Fruitful Marriage (2025)

Podcast: The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz)
Host: Fr. Mike Schmitz / Ascension
Episode Air Date: November 5, 2025
Catechism Paragraphs: 2364-2372
Main Focus: The Catholic teaching on conjugal fidelity (faithfulness) and fecundity (fruitfulness) in marriage

Overview

In this episode, Fr. Mike Schmitz explores the dual obligations of marriage as presented in the Catechism: fidelity (faithfulness) and fecundity (fruitfulness). He reads and unpacks paragraphs 2364–2372, which address the true nature of marital commitment, the expectations the Church has for married couples, the openness to life in marriage, and the moral framework for regulating birth. Fr. Mike balances doctrinal explanation with pastoral empathy, addressing challenges modern couples face and highlighting why the Church’s teaching is both a high calling and a source of deep love.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Twofold Obligation of Marriage

• Foundation (00:52–02:15):
  • Marriage stands under obligations of both faithfulness (conjugal fidelity) and fruitfulness (fecundity).
  • Rooted in irrevocable personal consent: spouses give themselves “definitively and totally” to each other, forming “one flesh.”

“Both give themselves definitively and totally to one another. They are no longer two. From now on they form one flesh.” — [01:40]

2. Conjugal Fidelity: What Faithfulness Really Means

• Explanation of Conjugal Covenant (02:15–04:15):
  • Distinction between contract (an exchange of goods/conditions) and covenant (an unconditional exchange of persons).
  • Marriage is unique, indissoluble, and does not “tolerate rivals.”
• Vows and Constancy (05:38–06:55):
  • The promise to remain faithful is easy on the wedding day, but it’s made for when it will be hardest—when feelings wane.
  • Faithfulness reflects not just love but one’s ability to keep a promise.

“They make the promise on their wedding day to love the other person because they're saying, I know the day is going to come when I won't feel like loving you... When that day does come, I will choose you. When that day does come, I will love you.” — Fr. Mike [06:15]

• St. John Chrysostom's Advice (07:24):
  • A husband should place the love of his wife above all things, aiming for union not just in this life but in eternity.

“I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself... My most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us.” — St. John Chrysostom, quoted by Fr. Mike [07:37]

3. Fecundity: The Fruitfulness of Marriage

• Natural End and Gift (08:00–09:18):
  • Fecundity (fruitfulness) is a core purpose of marriage; children “spring from the very heart” of mutual giving.
  • All sexual acts in marriage must remain “ordered per se to the procreation of human life.”
• Participation in God’s Creative Power (09:18–11:13):
  • Spouses cooperate in God’s creative love, tasked not only with procreation but also education of children.

4. Regulation of Birth: Responsible Parenthood

• Just Motives and Moral Means (11:20–13:17):
  • Couples may space births for “just reasons”—but not from selfishness. The regulation must align with objective moral criteria.
• Moral Difference Between NFP and Contraception (13:25–15:45):

  • Natural Family Planning (NFP):

    • Methods based on self-observation and periodic abstinence are in harmony with morality; they respect the body and foster authentic freedom.
    • Modern methods of NFP far exceed outdated “rhythm” methods in effectiveness.

  • Contraception:

    • Any act intending to render procreation impossible is “intrinsically evil.”
    • Contraception introduces a “contradictory language” into the marital act, meaning spouses are not giving themselves totally.

“To introduce contraception into that says, 'I am freely yours, but not really. I am totally yours, but not really. I am faithfully yours, but not really. I am fruitfully yours, but not really.' It introduces a contradictory language, namely that of not giving oneself totally to the other.” — Fr. Mike [15:05]

• Illustrative Analogy:
  • The “Dead Grandma” analogy illustrates why “ends don’t justify the means”—the means matter, not just the result.
  • “In one, I'm directly working against life. In the other, I'm allowing... using the natural rhythms of a woman's fertility...” [14:40]

5. Practical Compassion and Church Teaching

• Not a Call to Destitution (12:44):
  • The Church does not mandate having as many children as possible but prudent stewardship and generosity.
• Statistical Reflections (16:55):
  • Notably, the divorce rate among couples practicing NFP, attending Mass, and praying together is dramatically lower (2-4%) than the general rate (~50%).

“Couples that use natural family planning... have tried to make their life coherent, their faith coherent. It turns out that that divorce rate is somewhere along the lines between 2 to 4%. That should teach us something.” — Fr. Mike [17:00]

6. The State’s Role

• Summary of Catholic Social Teaching (11:55):
  • The state may provide information and encourage responsible population policies but must never coerce or impose immoral means of birth regulation.

Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

• Love is Always Free, Total, Faithful, and Fruitful:
  • “God’s love is always free... always total... always faithful... and always fruitful. And that’s what we’re called to as well.” [04:18]
• On Keeping One’s Word:
  • “The depth to which marriage and faithfulness in marriage is a reflection on one's character... It's the most basic: Am I able to keep a promise?” [06:50]
• On the Pain of Infertility:
  • “Not all marriages are able to be naturally fruitful... That doesn't make them any less married and doesn't make the sexual act any less beautiful. It just means that that sexual act does not have on its own a natural fruitfulness.” [09:40]
• Personal Reflection on Difficulty:
  • “Again, this is challenging. This is difficult. But love is challenging. And love is difficult. Yeah. Father, who are you to tell me this? You're right. I'm nobody. But this is the Lord speaking through the Church to God's beloved children.” [18:05]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening and Main Theme: 00:05–01:45
• Prayer: 01:45–02:15
• Reading Catechism Paragraphs: 02:15–08:00
• Fidelity—Theory and Real Life: 05:00–07:50
• Fruitfulness and the End of Marriage: 08:00–09:18
• Infertility and Fruitful Love: 09:40–10:20
• On Regulating Birth Responsibly: 11:20–13:17
• NFP vs. Contraception Analogy: 13:18–15:45
• Language of the Body; Contradiction of Contraception: 15:00–16:00
• Statistics on NFP and Divorce: 16:55–17:45
• Closing Pastoral Reflection: 17:45–end

Tone and Original Language

Fr. Mike balances doctrinal clarity with empathy, often addressing real anxieties and fears, always emphasizing that love is at the heart of these teachings. He quotes the Catechism directly, weaves in Church fathers like St. John Chrysostom, and uses poignant analogies, all while maintaining a warm and encouraging tone.

Final Takeaways

• Marriage in the Catholic Church is marked by lifelong faithfulness and an openness to life.
• The marital act, to be fully loving, must be free, total, faithful, and fruitful.
• Couples must uphold both the unitive and procreative aspects of sex.
• Natural Family Planning is a moral and effective means of responsible parenthood; contraception is not.
• Living out these teachings is challenging but leads to deeper freedom, love, and often, more resilient marriages.

“I'm praying that we all hear. I'm praying for you. Please pray for me. My name is Father Mike. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow. God bless.” — Fr. Mike [18:10]