Podcast Summary: The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz) – Day 311: Adultery and Divorce

Date: November 7, 2025
Host: Fr. Mike Schmitz
Episode: Day 311 – Adultery and Divorce (Paragraphs 2380-2386, Catechism of the Catholic Church)

Episode Overview

This episode delves into the Catechism’s teaching on two grave offenses against the dignity of marriage: adultery and divorce. Fr. Mike guides listeners through the Catechism’s definitions, the moral gravity of these acts, the personal and societal consequences, and the hope for healing and redemption even amidst brokenness. With pastoral care, he navigates sensitive realities many listeners live with, explaining Church teaching while recognizing its profound impact.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction: The Dignity and Woundedness of Marriage

• Marriage as a Sacred Gift: Elevated by Christ to sacrament; inherently good but vulnerable to attack (00:56).

• Brokenness in the Community: Fr. Mike acknowledges the struggles and wounds of listeners who have experienced adultery or divorce, reminding them of Christ’s power to redeem all brokenness (02:10).

  “Our God has entered into our broken world. He has entered into our broken hearts, and he’s entered into our broken relationships… He has the ability to redeem them.”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz (03:21)

2. What is Adultery? (CCC 2380–2381)

• Precise Definition: Adultery is marital infidelity—when at least one party is married to another, and sexual relations occur outside the spouse (06:55).

• Adultery in Scripture: Condemned absolutely by the sixth commandment and the New Testament. Even desire (“adultery of the heart”) is strongly rebuked by Christ (07:30).

  “Adultery, specifically speaking, means when two partners, of whom one is at least married to someone else, have sexual relations. So that’s strictly speaking, that’s what adultery is.”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz (14:28)

• Lust vs. Love: Drawing from John Paul II, Fr. Mike reflects that the opposite of love isn’t hate, but use. Lust reduces a person to “what I can get out of them” (16:34).

• Personhood and Use: Using a person for one’s pleasure obscures their dignity, as in pornography, and “reduces them to their parts” rather than seeing the fullness of the person (18:24).

3. Adultery as Injustice and Covenant-Breaking

• Injustice to the Spouse & Family: It breaks a solemn promise, undermines the marriage covenant (a sign of God’s love), and injures the other spouse’s rights (21:32).
• Deeper Reflection on Promises:

  “There’s no need for them to promise to love the other person [only] on that day... You’re making the promise on that day because you know the day is going to come when I won’t feel like choosing this other person. …When that day comes, I promise to choose you.”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz (23:15)

• False Sanction of Eros: Referencing Sheldon Vanauken and C.S. Lewis, Fr. Mike criticizes cultural justification of adultery through the “false sanction of new passion” (25:05).

4. Consequences of Adultery

• Wounds to Children and Family: Adultery “compromises the good of human generation and the welfare of children who need their parents’ stable union” (27:42).
• Impact Beyond the Couple: Not just a personal sin—adultery echoes through families and entire communities.

5. The Indissolubility of Marriage and Teaching on Divorce (CCC 2382–2386)

• Jesus’ Command: Marriage is indissoluble; even “civil divorce” cannot break the true marital bond (28:54).

• Legitimacy of Separation: When safety, child welfare, or legal rights are at stake, separation or civil divorce may be tolerated (31:02), but does not end the Church’s recognition of the marital bond.

  “If civil divorce remains the only possible way of ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children or the protection of inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz quoting the CCC (31:17)

• Morality of Divorce: Divorce is a “grave offense against natural law,” wounds the deserted spouse, traumatizes children, and acts “like a plague on society” (32:14).

  “Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. …This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them.”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz quoting the CCC (32:22)

• Nuances of Innocence and Guilt: Distinction between a spouse “who has sincerely tried to be faithful ...and is unjustly abandoned” and one who, “through his own grave fault, destroys a canonically valid marriage” (34:20).

• Serious Cases and Safety: The Church recognizes the need for physical separation in dangerous situations, yet upholds the marital bond itself (35:26).

6. The Echoes of Sin and the Invitation to Mercy

• Consequences Are Real: Adultery and divorce never stop at just the individuals involved; choices ripple into wider circles (36:40).

• Conviction, Not Condemnation: Fr. Mike encourages listeners to reflect, seek forgiveness, and hope in God’s mercy, rather than wallow in shame (38:16).

  “Our choices have consequences and our sins don’t end with us: they echo out... But not as a condemnation—this is conviction: Where do I need to ask for forgiveness? Where do I need to repent?”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz (36:47)

• High Call, Hard Call: Marriage is a sign of God’s love for the world—an icon of Christ’s relationship with the Church. This is a “high call and a hard call,” but God’s grace is always available even after failure (39:44).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Nature of Use and Love:

  “The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is use.”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz referencing John Paul II (16:36)

• On False Justification for Adultery:

  “[Culture says:] ‘I feel this new thing with Sally that I never ever felt with Jane...’ But you made a promise. That comes undone. This sanction of eros doesn’t matter.”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz (25:50)

• On the Enduring Consequences for Children:

  “At the very least, one of the things it does to children is it lets them know, ‘Oh, mom and dad can change their mind.’”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz (29:58)

• Encouragement for the Wounded:

  “Maybe I walked away. It was my fault. To be able to recognize that and take the next step: ‘Let me go to confession, let me stop sinning, let me turn back to the Lord; allow his grace to renew your heart and give you new hope.’”
  — Fr. Mike Schmitz (40:18)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:56 – The dignity and sacramental nature of marriage
• 06:55 – Definition and focus of adultery
• 14:00 – Distinguishing adultery from other sexual sins
• 16:36 – The opposite of love is use (John Paul II insight)
• 18:24 – Personhood obscured by lust and use
• 21:32 – Adultery as an injustice and violation of promise
• 23:15 – The purpose of making vows
• 25:05 – The “false sanction of eros” (Sheldon Vanauken/C.S. Lewis)
• 27:42 – Consequences for family and children
• 28:54 – Divorce: Church teaching and Jesus’ words
• 31:17 – Legitimate reasons for civil divorce/separation
• 32:22 – Divorce as a “plague on society”
• 34:20 – Innocent vs. guilty party in divorce
• 36:47 – Echoes of our choices (conviction, not condemnation)
• 39:44 – The high calling of married life as a sign of Christ and the Church
• 40:18 – A call to mercy and next steps in healing

Final Thoughts

Fr. Mike balances theological rigor with heartfelt pastoral care, making it clear that Church teaching on adultery and divorce is motivated not by condemnation, but by a deep desire to uphold the dignity, beauty, and truth of marriage. He leaves listeners with encouragement for repentance, confidence in God’s mercy, and a renewed commitment to love as Christ calls.

“Tomorrow we’ll continue with other offenses against the dignity of marriage. Please know that I am praying for you. Please pray for me.”
— Fr. Mike Schmitz (41:18)