Podcast Summary: The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz)

Episode: Day 312: Polygamy, Incest, and Free Union

Date: November 8, 2025
Host: Fr. Mike Schmitz
Sponsor: Ascension
Reading: Catechism Paragraphs 2387–2400

Main Theme & Purpose

Day 312 of The Catechism in a Year podcast dives into the Catechism’s teaching on additional serious offenses against the dignity of marriage—specifically, polygamy, incest, sexual abuse, free union (cohabitation), and so-called "trial marriages." Fr. Mike both explains the Catechism’s position and explores the deeper meaning, challenging modern misunderstandings about love, fidelity, and true freedom. The episode aims to help listeners understand why these acts are gravely wrong and how the Church’s vision for love and sexuality is rooted in human dignity and the call to self-gift.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Seriousness of These Offenses (00:55–03:30)

• These acts are grave offenses against the dignity of marriage, against God’s law, and damage individuals (men, women, and children).
• Fr. Mike invites listeners to approach these topics with "strong and sensitive hearts" open to transformation, repentance, and a return to God’s plan.

2. Polygamy and Conversion Predicaments (03:35–09:00)

• Catechism context: "The predicament of a man who… is obliged to repudiate one or more wives… is understandable. However, polygamy is not in accord with the moral law." (2387)
• Polygamy radically contradicts conjugal communion as unique/exclusive, which is God’s plan for marriage.
• Quote:

  "The gospel cannot and may not and cannot change. People need to change... when we hear the call of Jesus Christ, the gospel is not going to change that. We are called to make whatever sacrifice we need to make." (07:15–07:39)

• New converts from polygamy must:
  • Not live as if married to multiple women
  • But: Honoring obligations to children and former wives is a grave duty in justice
• The universal call: Everyone, regardless of history or predicament, is called to conversion—even when it requires "something radical."

3. Incest and Sexual Abuse (09:01–11:50)

• Catechism: Incest = relations within prohibited degrees. St. Paul stigmatizes this (1 Cor 5:1).
• Sexual abuse of minors (connected to incest by context of trust) inflicts "scandalous harm… scars for life" and is a grave violation.
• Quote:

  "We name those things and note that the church consistently teaches that these are grave, grave, grave evils—evils." (10:15–10:22)

• Past victims are reminded:
  • "You are redeemed by Jesus Christ… the Lord loves you in your scars… in the brokenness perpetrated against you." (11:10–11:22)
  • The Church offers a word of hope, not condemnation, for victims.

4. Free Unions / Cohabitation (11:51–16:30)

• Free union: Partners refuse public/legal commitment and are sexually intimate.
• Critique: The term “free union” is "fallacious" because true union requires commitment and trust.
  • Cohabitation is covered; Fr. Mike expresses personal pain over working with youth who cohabit without marriage.
• Quote:

  "I don't know what it is, but cohabitation... is one of those sins that for whatever reason, it just… it hurts me in an emotional way, like in a gut punch kind of way." (13:24–13:39)

• Consequences:
  • Cohabiting couples have an 80–90% higher divorce rate if they marry.
  • Living together before marriage undermines trust and fidelity.
  • Such relationships weaken the idea of family and fidelity, contrary to the moral law.

5. Trial Marriages (16:31–18:20)

• Catechism rejects the concept of "trial marriage" (2391).
• Firm intentions do not secure sincerity/fidelity or protection from shifting desires.
• Fr. Mike’s reflection:
  • "You don't take a person for a test drive… you can't actually have a trial marriage… marriage, by the very definition… is permanent."
  • Quote:

    "You're trying every part of marriage except for the part that is hard." (17:58)

• Cites (paraphrase) of John Paul II:
  • "The person who does not truly love forever will find it very difficult to truly love for even one day."

6. The Core Vocation: Love (18:21–19:27)

• Catechism (2392): Love is the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.
• God gives personal dignity equally to men and women.
• Each is to acknowledge/accept sexual identity.
• Final appeal:
  • Quote:

    "Make of yourself somehow a gift of love. Because that's what your call is. That's what your vocation is." (19:19–19:27)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On polygamy:

  "We are called to make whatever sacrifice we need to make. Of course, in justice, we're called to make any sacrifice we need to make in order to belong to Jesus." (07:21–07:35)

• On healing after abuse:

  "If you've been a victim of that, you're not contemptible. You are redeemed by Jesus Christ. You're loved by God himself... the Lord loves you in your scars." (11:12–11:20)

• On free unions and cohabitation:

  "It just makes me so sad when I hear of students that I've worked with… living together without getting married. Even if they're planning on getting married, it's just so out of order and so harmful." (13:35–13:47)

• On trial marriages:

  "You don't take a person for a test drive. There's no such thing [as trial marriage], because marriage… is permanent." (17:30–17:42)

• On the essence of love:

  "Love wants to say forever, and it demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another." (18:05–18:13)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening & Prayer (00:05–02:30)
• Introduction to Today's Sections (02:31–03:28)
• Polygamy: The Convert’s Dilemma (03:35–09:00)
• Incest and Sexual Abuse (09:01–11:50)
• Free Union & Cohabitation (11:51–16:30)
• Trial Marriage (16:31–18:20)
• Summary: Love as Vocation (18:21–19:27)
• Conclusion & Blessing (19:28–end)

Tone & Style

Fr. Mike approaches these challenging topics with compassion, candor, and a pastoral heart. He mixes teaching with personal reflection, using plain language, pauses for emphasis, and a direct but empathetic style. There’s no shying away from seriousness, but always an encouragement to hope, healing, and deeper conversion.

Takeaway

This episode challenges listeners to see why the Church upholds the dignity and exclusivity of marriage, rejects sexual relationships outside of that bond, and elevates love as the core human vocation. Even when Church teaching is demanding, the invitation is for all—regardless of their story—to move closer to God’s plan, which is always a plan of sheer goodness and transforming love.