← Everything Is Energy with Cathy Heller
Everything Is Energy with Cathy Heller
Ask the Kabbalist - Rabbi David Aaron on Unconditional Love, Spiritual Connection & Tiny Tasks that Transform the World
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- [00:00]
A
I'm really excited because we are going to do a two day workshop where I teach you Kabbalah, where I teach you these ancient, mystical, beautiful ingredients, secrets, tools, codes to how to understand the universe, to how to connect to God, to the Creator, so that you can become a vessel, which you already are, but a wider, bigger vessel. Because the divine light is always pouring in an infinite amount. And each of us has the capacity to be a vehicle for so much light, to reveal light, to reveal possibility, to create love, compassion, goodness, abundance in the world. So join me for these two days. It's a free workshop if you are interested, if you want to quench that thirst in your soul, I think that you're going to walk away with some beautiful, amazing insights. And I think you're going to feel closer to who you really are. And if anything I say is true, it's because there's a part of you that knew it. And you will feel closer to the divine, closer to God and to your soul's mission. You can sign up@kathyheller.com workshop. I hope to see you there. Hey guys, it's Kathy Heller. Welcome back to the Kathy Heller Podcast. I hope you had a beautiful weekend. We are in New York City right now. I'm here with my daughters. I came up to speak at an event and we are staying for the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah. And it's just been so special to be here with them today. We rode paddleboats in Central park and we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art yester yesterday. And it's just been just so unbelievably special. We went to see the Outsiders on Broadway. I highly recommend it. And I don't know if you get my Sunday emails, but I wrote an email yesterday, I send an email myself to everyone who's on our email list on Sundays just to give you, like, a little personal insight from my life, from my week. And in that email, I was talking about how we're about to step into, as I said, Rosh Hashanah, which is the first day of Libra. And on the Hebrew calendar, Kabbalistically, we know that these first 10 days of Libra, what we call them, it's sort of like the DNA for the year. Like, these are the days of wet cement. You know how when you're walking through wet cement, you can, you know, write your name in wet cement? You know, you could write Joni loves Chachi, or you can put your dog's paw in there and what happens, it stays. So the first 10 days of library really become the DNA for the rest of the next 12 months. And how you spend these days, how you feel connected, how you feel in terms of your capacity to receive, your capacity to trust, your capacity to step into the identity of your soul versus whatever role you've been playing, your capacity to love, your capacity to receive love, to give love, all of that really sets the tone for the next 12 months. And so in this time, it's just a really fertile time to plant the seeds of whatever feels like the fullest. Yes. And I'm excited for this conversation because we brought my dearest mentor and teacher, Rabbi David Aaron, back. He is a renowned Kabbalah teacher. He's the author of incredible books like Endless Light and many others. His entire mission is to help us remember our soul's purpose, to help us remember that there is unconditional love on tap, always holding us. When I met him over two decades ago in Jerusalem, he said to me words that forever changed me. He said, you are a masterpiece, a piece of the Master. And I love that I have this platform to spread such a beautiful message. Today in this conversation, you're going to hear what do a Q and A with him about Kabbalah. And how do you start your day to feel connected to your soul? And how do you receive love without feeling like you have to earn it? And how do you use this season as an invitation to return to who you truly are? Rabbi Aaron is an incredible teacher. He is the biggest mentor in my life, and there are not enough words to express how special he is. I can't wait for you to experience the light that he rings. So without further ado, please welcome the phenomenal Rabbi David Aaron.
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B
Hi, Rabbi.
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C
Hey, how you doing?
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B
You see me, I see you. I see you every second of my life. I love you so much. This poor guy has to put up with me every time we're together. I'm like, I love you like the moonlight. And he's like, kathy, what am I going to do with you? Here's the thing. Can you imagine that Rabbi Aaron met me before anything was impressive about me, other than just me. And I'm going to cry. Oh, my God, it's so emotional. We met in 2001, and my life has been completely different ever since. I actually just did a post today, and I said the sentence that changed my life most is Rabbi Aaron telling me, you are someone. You're some of the one. You're a masterpiece, a piece of the Master. And this is. I just showed you this. But this is one of his many books. Many of you have read it. I guarantee you, this book is going to touch your soul and make you feel alive. So go get it. He's written many books, but I feel like you need to start here. This is, like, where you start. So Rabbi Aaron is so generous, and he's. He really just loves this so much. If you asked him, what would you like to do with a free day besides being with his family, he'd say, this. This is just what he loves to do. And I just was talking to him. We were catching up. He's like, I tell my wife, I just want to make people happier and suffer less. And you do that every day. So if you guys want to start putting questions in the chat, I'll start asking him some questions. And then really, this is like a Kabbalah, like Q and A. It's. It's like spiritual time for you to ask your soul's biggest questions. And we'll just kind of have fun with it so you can put questions in the chat. So first of all, let's dive in. Okay. What is it about Kabbalah? And there's obviously, Rabbi Aaron is. He's a rabbi. He lives in the old city of Jerusalem. He has a beautiful group of children who now, many of them have their own children. He has an amazing wife.
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C
He just had a granddaughter Yesterday.
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B
Yesterday. Okay, let's just put some reaction here. Mazel tov. Mazel tov. That's amazing. So he lives a very full, very, like, deeply spiritually attuned Jewish life. But one of the things that he's been studying within the context of Jewish life is Kabbalah. And I just want to start with, can you describe what that is for people who don't know what the heck. What is Kabbalah? How would you describe it?
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C
I would describe it as the grammar of life. You know, grammar is unwritten. If you looked at a page and there were lines and words, those words and lines are there, but you wouldn't be able to put it together because there's this unwritten principles that are holding it together and making sense out of it. And really, the goal of the teachings of Kabbalah is to reveal the. What I call the oneity of the universe, not the unity, because unity suggests that two are coming together and becoming one. When one of the. In my mind is one was always there, and we have to go back to becoming conscious of the one.
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B
So beautiful. You know, there's just so much noise in the world, you guys. And then Once in a while you meet a person, you're like, well, that's real wisdom. Oh, my gosh. It's pretty powerful. One question that's already in the chat, which I think is beautiful, is Christina said, is there a daily practice, apart from meditation, to align with my soul's purpose? And I could answer that in a million ways. I'm just curious, what is one practice that you do that helps you align with your soul's purpose every day?
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C
Well, one of the practices I do in Torah tradition is there's a. A meditation that we say immediately when we open our eyes in the morning, thanking, I am before you, Creator, because you compassionately gave me back my soul. Great is your faith in me. And that's like a wow. I just taught that to my students yesterday. You know, it's interesting. It doesn't say, I thank you, but thanking, I am before you. The difference is I thank you as I did it, done and finished. But thanking I'm before you is describing a state of being that I'm in now. The word modern means not just to thank, but also to be mindful and to acknowledge. And the goal is really in life to be mindful of and grateful to the Creator. And when a person starts their day that way, that's a game changer right there. And why am I able to be grateful and mindful of the Creator? Because I have a soul. You know, people that have soul live mindfully and gratefully. And I know that if I'm awake, the Creator believes in me. That's an amazing thing. I grew up thinking that I'm supposed to believe in God, but that's actually not the goal here. The goal is to believe in a God that believes in me. That's a whole different world. You know, so many people are in so much pain because their father didn't believe in them, the mother didn't believe in them, the teacher didn't believe in them, the friends didn't believe in them, and we so desperately deserve to be believed in. And when you believe in someone, you're saying, I know there's greatness inside you. It's just waiting to be released. And I believe in that. I actually heard an interesting experiment. Don't know how nice this experiment was, but a group of actors went into a school and pretended to be experts in evaluating the educational capacity of the kids, the intellectual capacity. And they told the teachers, this group of kids are exceptional in their capacity, and they're brilliant. And these are average. And they were just making it up. But the Teachers that believed that the kids that were exceptional, those kids became exceptional, and the kids that were believed to not be exceptional, they didn't become. And because we need to believe that we are believed in. And so when you wake up in the morning and you say, I am mindful, I am grateful because I have a soul, and that's what makes the difference. People who are soulful are grateful and mindful, and they live with a deep confidence that the Creator believes in me. And if I woke up today, then I've got something important to do. And, you know, and question is, people think important means something that makes the headlines. No, not necessarily. Important means there's somebody waiting for a kind word, a sweet smile, a pat on the back. It's the tiny tasks that transform the world.
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B
It's so unbelievably beautiful. And the reason I posted that today and said that the biggest sentence to change my life was you telling me you're a masterpiece, a piece of the master, is because spending time with you in Jerusalem after college, which was not on my list of plans, but of course God makes my plans. I always say it was like changing the software that was running the program, right? And I saw the world through totally different lenses. And the most important distinction was knowing who I am and knowing that my identity is really a soul, not whatever, what do I weigh, what's. What's in my bank account, you know, how many accolades did I get in college? It's like, no, no, your soul is. Is who you are. And what you just said, that prayer that we say first thing in the morning, I tell my students, like before you pick up your phone and your mind is hijacked, your whole day is hijacked by all the things, all the different roles you play, all the different things that are needed from you to just, like, have a moment where you. You connect to this truth, this powerful understanding that there is a God and you are here and you are here with. And as you said that prayer, it's so beautiful that it's been said for thousands of years that we wake up and say, we are so grateful that God has this faith in us because we're needed to be a vessel. And so often the mind, which is such a liar, tells us that in order to prove our existence, we have to be impressive, we have to accomplish, we have to do all these things. And the soul is actually so full of light, it just wants to give. Right? It doesn't need to chase. It needs to literally be a vehicle for light and for love and so when you start your day with that, your whole day is different. You know, Wayne Dyer talks about the power of intention. That's a pretty big intention to set for the day. May I be shown how I'm a blessing and to be needed, because I am. Because I'm a soul, because I'm an ambassador for this light, because I'm someone. Some of the one. Rabbi Aaron, I don't know if you would mind telling it, but you have so many good stories and so many of your stories I retell. But you tell this story about going to visit your parents when you saw the pictures everywhere and how that reminded you of how much God loves you. Can you tell that story?
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C
Sure. Well, when I was 18 years old, I went to Israel for a year to study in a Torah center, a yeshiva. And I was coming home for the summer, and I wanted to surprise my parents, so I didn't tell them what date I'm arriving so that I could kind of just knock on the door and give him a big surprise. So I landed. I'm from Toronto, Canada. I landed in Toronto. I took a taxi. I got to my home. I knocked on the door, nobody answered. I rang the bell, nobody answered. I said, oh, my gosh, the surprise is on me. My parents aren't home. And I wasn't even sure. Maybe they even not in Toronto. Maybe they. Sometimes they would go to Hamilton or whatever, Buffalo, you know. And so I said, oh, my gosh. But, you know, if it's your home, you know how to break in, right? That's how you know it's your home. And so I knew that the way to break into my home was through the bathroom window. I later wrote a song for the Beatles, you know. Broke in through the bathroom window. Came in through the bathroom window. So I came in through the bathroom window, and I walked out of the bathroom, and I was in shock. I see the. The family room and there's pictures of me. There's a picture of me on the piano, and there's a picture of me on the. And the chimney, you know, and there's a picture of me on the coffee table. And then I go into the kitchen and there's a picture of me on the refrigerator. And then I go into the living room. There's a picture of me there. And I couldn't believe it. There was a picture of me everywhere that said, wanted dead or alive. No, I didn't say that. I'm just joking. There was a picture of me. And I felt a tremendous shame. And the shame was My parents loved me so much, and I never really was aware of it. I really, really didn't appreciate it. I didn't really know that. And I see that as the ultimate judgment. I think the ultimate judgment is when we will realize that God loves us so much and only and always and forever loves us. And when we discover that that love was there and was always there, and we were either in denial of it or oblivious of it. And not that God is looking to be reciprocal, but if you really are loved, then you assurely love those who love you. And that was a big awakening for me, that my parents were so crazy about me, and I. I really wasn't aware of that. I really wasn't aware of that. And there's so many people that, you know, I think that's part of, you know, Kabbalah is about receiving. And I think one of the great challenges that people have today is they can't receive love. You know, there's a book that I once read called Women who Love Too Much, about people who are constantly loving and loving and not giving people the opportunity to love them back. And people think that love is to give, but sometimes I have to give you an opportunity to give me because you want to give also. And I realized this when my daughter got married. You know, she knows this guy for about a year, and she gets married. And by mod, by dad, I'm saying, wait a second, I'm the man in your life for all these years. And she was. Wasn't 18, actually, at the time. She was 23 years old. And I'm thinking, like, how did that happen? I mean, how does she so easily kind of, like, do that? And I realized, because I've been giving her love all these years and I'm so connecting to her, but she doesn't. She didn't give much love to us. I mean, she received love. She didn't really have too much opportunity to give love. And then I, you know, I asked my students, I asked myself this question, and I now ask my students, if you had a choice to love or to be loved, you know, which would you choose? But let's say it's just theoretical. You couldn't have both. And a lot of people say to be loved, but the truth is, you don't feel as connected to the people that love you as you do to the people that you love. And sometimes you have to give people the opportunity to love you because they want to feel connected to you. And they. They don't feel as connected to you because they're receiving from you, they feel connected to you because they're giving to you. That's what we have to do. We have to be in a world where love is something that we give, and we also give people the opportunity to give that love to us and to other people too.
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B
Yeah. It's so powerful what you just said. And any one of us who is a parent knows, you know, when I was breastfeeding, all those moments of, like, having a newborn and you're bone tired and you're exhausted and you're just, like, going crazy, and yet you're so in love with this baby who's just such a taker. Oh, my goodness. Right? Like, but, like, that's the point is the more you're giving, you're just falling so deeply in love. We just got a puppy. Oh, my God. Whose bad idea was that? And my 14, almost 14 year old, she's like, mom, she's like, I'm so in love with this dog. Because part of it was like, for her responsibility. She's like, I want to do this, this. And she's waking up in the night. And I'm like, you see how you love someone when you give so much of yourself, you invest so much of yourself, right? And Rabbi Aaron, I remember that one of the most significant things that you ever did for me, you always do for me, and we even discussed it, was it's not just the wisdom and the power and the wisdom that you teach, but how much you have always been the embodiment of unconditional love in my life. And I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna try to, like, just be able to form words. But when we first met, and he knows my whole story very intimately, my parents, all that stuff, he was like, kathy, you're so easy to love. And it's like there's nothing you have to do to earn it. It's not like that. Love is not earnable. And love is a gift. And I think what you just said is so big because the word Kabbalah comes from the word le cabel, to receive. And if you don't in your life, have practice where you've received that pure thing. Forget money, forget prestige, before we get into any of, like, the opportunities, the way for you to be in purpose, just at the very basic level, if you feel that you haven't really felt deeply that you've been practicing receiving unconditional love, we have to start there. We have to learn that God the divine, the creator of the universe, loves you. And Rabbi Aaron was The one who told me, oh, by the way, he said, because I'm like, oh, do I need to go become super religious and do all of these? And he goes, where have I failed? What's happening right now? You know? I go, but you live that way. He goes, yeah, I chose to live this way and do all these things. And he said to me, God loves you at the maximum, right? So whatever you do, whoever you are, it's a constant. It's not earnable. And I just didn't really get that at first. I really didn't get that. And I don't know, Rabbi Ern, if you want to say anything about that, but I feel like.
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C
I think a lot of people are suffering from thinking they have to deserve love. Like, where did that come from? That I have to deserve love, that I have to earn love, that I have to justify being lovable. Like, where did that come from? I had a student at Israelite, and she came into my office and she started crying. And I said, why are you crying? She says, well, because you're nice to me. I said, well, I'm sorry you're crying because I'm nice to you. And nobody's ever said that, but I've never done anything for you. Why should you be nice for me? To me? And I said, well, why do you have to do something for me for me to be nice to you? Just because I was raised that way? You have to earn your love. No, love is a gift. It's a gift and it's unconditional. And it's important to understand that that doesn't mean you're not judged. If I really love you, then I want to help you and I want to enable you and I want to uplift you. And sometimes I have to let you know that you're going in the wrong direction. It's not because I don't love you. It's actually because I love you that I'm judging you. The people we love the most are the people we judge the most. We're not judging them because we want, God forbid, them to be punished. We're judging them because we want them to be aligned and we want them to have the best life they can. And we care, you know. You know, I don't judge some kid on the street. I don't know the kid. Why would I be. Why would I judge him? It's your own children that you judge, but they know that it's coming from a place of love, and it's only love. And it's just because you love them. It's only because you want the best for them.
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B
I want to piggyback on that, because right now we're in the month of Virgo, right, which is on the Hebrew calendar, the month of Elul. And we were talking about sort of the kabbalistic Jewish understanding of this month and how I was sharing with my community that this is really, like, you're the gardener of your soul this month. You're pulling weeds and you're planting seeds. You're really, like, looking at who you are, and you're wanting to get to the essence of who you're really supposed to be and take out whatever really doesn't belong to you, wherever you sort of went away from your soul and really plant the seeds of, like, what really is ultimately what needs to bloom as you. And as we walk into the end of this month, we have the birthday of creation, which is Rosh hashanah, which is September 23rd, 4th, and that begins Libra, which is about. You know, this is the month of, like, now we're in balance right now. There's alignment, because you. You did that reinvention where you came back. You returned to the essence of yourself. So I would love for you, because, of course, you're the. I know you don't, like. You're very humble, so you probably won't like me to say that you're an expert, but you are the expert at this. So can you weigh in on the energy of Ell, the energy of Virgo this month and what it's about that we could, because this energy, right time has an energy to it, and it's cyclical. And this time has a powerful blueprint for us to be able to access.
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C
Well, you know, it's. You know, Rosh Hashanah is a day of judgment, but I would prefer to call it a day of valuation. You know, imagine I work for a company, and the boss calls me in and he said, well, let's look at what we set up as your goals for this year, and let's see what you accomplished, and let's think about where we didn't succeed, and let's think of ways that we can up our game and accomplish what we set for ourselves. The boss is not judging the employee. The boss is evaluating his performance and considering ways that would be in the best interest of the employee as well as the boss. And one thing I know is this company doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the boss. And the boss wants all his employees to succeed, you know, and so it's an important time for a person to look and say, what am I doing? Am I getting to where I think I need to be doing? Am I doing my job? You know, because, you know, what makes people happy? I know what makes me happy. I mean, I feel really happy when I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, you know, when I do my job. Kind of crazy thing, but, you know, when my wife sends me out to the fruit vegetable market, you know, machina Yehuda, and I got this list of what I got to get. And it's kind of really funny that I, I take joy and okay, I got to get 10 tomatoes. Did that. Got to get five oranges. Okay, got that. And there's a joy in doing your job. What's your job? And, and when you don't do your job well, first of all, you don't know your job. It's very hard, very hard. What, what is my job? And if I know my job, I can look at it and say, well, what am I doing that isn't in the best interest of, of the company that I work for and am I producing well? And also, I think people have to be really careful not to be over judgmental because you don't want to undermine your job. You want to say, okay, you know, in the teachings of Torah, you're human. You make mistakes. And you can say, you know, I, I made a mistake. I regret that. I'm, I'm going to work hard not to do it again. Finish. Go on, let go. Don't keep going back to that. You're okay. You made a mistake. You're not a mistake. That's the mistake people make. They think they are a mistake. You're never a mistake. You're a soul. You're a light. You're, as you mentioned, so to speak, so to speak metaphorically, a masterpiece, a piece of the master. You're a silver coin that's tarnished, but underneath the tarnish, there's always that silver. It's always there, always inside, always, always, always. And so it's a time for us to be judging how we're doing. How can we do it better, but in a compassionate way. And be honest, but not rough, not mean, not critical. You know, I believe that constructive criticism doesn't exist. All criticism ends up being destructive because nobody likes to be criticized. But what you can do is you can share your needs and ask yourself, am I providing my needs? And my needs is I want to do a good job and I want to know what My job is. And a lot of people think their job is just how they make money. Now. You know, that's the funny thing about it. You know, when it. When it comes to money, people talk about making a living. Money doesn't make a living. Money supports the living that you should be making. You should be making a life and not making a living. A lot of people are judging themselves on how much they earn. When I think we should evaluate ourselves and how much we yearn. What are you really yearning for? What do you really, really, really care about? What are you going to really be able to say to yourself when you look in the mirror and say, I did something that really matters? You know, I had to be at the hospital this Shabbat, and I saw this man in a wheelchair, and all these people just walked by him and he was trying to move with one foot. He's in a wheelchair, he's by himself. And I couldn't believe that all these people walked by him and nobody looked to see if there's anybody. So I said, can I help you? And he said, wow, thank you. And I took him all the way to his room. And I was shocked. Like, you know, how come we don't see this? There's so many people that need help. You know, that's why the Kabbalah describes God as a light. Because a light enables you to see a person that lives with the light of God. They see what's broken and they want to fix. They see who's hurting and they want to heal. That's a person that lives with the light of God because God is a light. And when a person, you can have a person says, I don't believe in God. But they see the pain, they see the hurt, they see what's broken, and they just want to help fix. And they just help, want to help heal. Oh, my gosh. You have so much God consciousness. You didn't even know. And then you could have people that talk to talk. You know, they talk God all the time. But they walk right by a guy who's in a wheelchair all by himself. Like, how could you do that? How did you miss that?
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B
It's so beautiful. Everybody is so touched by what you are saying. It's so powerful. We all get on a million zooms. And then there's one that you go, oh, this is the one not to miss. By the way, Rabbi Aaron and I are going to do this once a month. We're going to have like a Kabbalah Q and A, so get ready for that. But one of the things that I always say is the best way to be at the right place at the right time is know that you're always in it. You're always at the right place at the right time. And you can see why having Rabbi Aaron as the greatest mentor in my life has let me know that. Because whether I'm at the DMV or I'm at car line drop off for school, I'm looking for where I could be a blessing to somebody and I'm the recipient of it. I'm the lucky one, actually, because we live in a world where few people are doing it. So I come home feeling so lit up that God lets me contribute like that. You know, I dropped my car off to get serviced a couple months ago, and there was a woman screaming at the guy because they made a mistake and she wasn't gonna be able to take her car to work. They had to keep it the whole day. And she was screaming that she's not gonna be able to go to work and they can't give her a loaner car cause her car's out of warranty. And I'm looking at this poor guy who doesn't know how to fix it. And she's so frustrated. And I said to her, hey, I said, when was the last time you had a day off work? And she's like, what do you mean I can't take a day off? And then it turned out she worked for herself. And I said, well, right now, for whatever reason, you're supposed to be here for the next eight hours. And I said, what if you could give yourself that gift and, you know, listen to a podcast? There's coffee, there's a coffee maker, you get all the coffee one. And I said, and also I could drive you to work. I go, those are my two choices. I'm either going to drive you to work, or maybe you want this day off. Maybe God loves you so much you need a break and you're being forced. She starts to cry and she's like, you know, I work for myself and I don't give myself a day off. And after the whole conversation, she goes, don't drive me to work. I'm going to sit here, I'm going to read a book, I'm going to listen to an audiobook, and I'm going to sit here. And because of the interaction, the guy behind the counter goes, that was like the sweetest. He's like, here's a loaner car, you can go whatever. And I thought to myself, oh my gosh, it's so extraordinary how I get to feel that meaningful in my morning. How lucky am I? And of course then that's why in my business I'm not really worrying about my business. Then my business tends to grow because that's to me, that's the money in the bank, right? It's like I want to go to sleep every night and feel like I had an opportunity to change the world for one person. And it's just every day you're going to be set right up to do it. So. Okay, Rabbi Aaron, speaking of that, one of the questions in the chat was how do we keep the connection all day?
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C
Right?
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B
Like, let's say you start your morning with a meditation or a prayer, you're feeling great and then you have your coffee, you get your kids to school, and by 11:15am you're stressed out, you're worried about the money in the bank, there's a flood in your kitchen, your parents are going to the doctor, you've got a dog that's gotta go to the vet, and you start to feel really anxious and you start to feel like the world is hectic and you're looking at your social media and the news is awful. And how do you keep the connection throughout the day?
- [32:41]
C
Oh, beautiful. First of all, I don't know if we should think that we're going to keep the connection throughout the day because if you're always connected, you'll forget that you're connected. You know what I mean? It's like the moments where you're not connected, say, wait a second, I'm not connected. Suddenly you realize, oh my gosh, how important it is to be connected, how beautiful it is. So first of all, I think we shouldn't set ourselves up to try and be connected all the time, but actually see how hidden in the non connection is so much blessing for an even deeper connection. You know what I mean? Like in a marriage, sometimes you get into a bit of a conflict and maybe the disciples get a little high and then sudden you realize, how can I be saying this? How could we be talking this way? I can't believe it. What are we doing? And then suddenly you feel even closer to your partner than you did before. The fallout actually created a space to realize, oh my gosh, it's like, sadly, it's like when you're not well, that's when you realize what health is all about. So the first thing is to know that there's a plan to even when you're not connected, that is really part of the bigger story of what it means to be connected. But in terms of what do I do when I'm not feeling connected? I heard a guy once say something that I found very, very helpful. He said, we have to learn to talk to ourselves more than we listen to ourselves. Because when we listen to ourselves, there's this inner chatter. And very often it's a really dark, sad, critical chatter. It's an old recording of my mother or my father or my teacher or my brother or somebody recorded on my recording as a kid, some really negative stuff. And I start thinking it's my voice, and I have to talk over it. And I have to say to myself, you're okay. You care, you have good intentions. You made a mistake again, you're not a mistake, and it's okay. You're human. That's all right. Just fix it. And you can fix it. And don't become fixated on it. Just go on, move forward. And I think that's really so much of the connection is through talking. The way God created the world is through speech. The Torah says. And I don't think the Torah is trying to tell us actually how exactly God created the world, but the Torah is telling us how you create your world. It's through what you say, what you're saying to yourself, what you're saying to other people. You have to speak in a really compassionate way, talk to yourself and tell yourself good things. Look, you can also give yourself a little bit rebuke, but in a sweet way, in a compassionate way. But I think the connection is when you don't feel it, talk it. And I believe in the principle of fake it until you awake it, not fake it till you make it. There's no goal to be a fake, but awake it. Because deep inside you are connected. You cannot not be connected. You are to God like a ray of light is to the sun. And it's always connected, Always, always connected. The question is not whether I'm connected or not. The question is whether I'm aware of my connection. Am I thinking, speaking and acting in ways that is indicative of and expressing and revealing that connection. So it really has to do with first knowing that I'm always connected, but I'm not always aware of that connection. And the beginning of change is talk the talk, talk yourself in a positive way, in an uplifting way, in a compassionate way. And very often we say things to ourselves that we wouldn't want our worst enemy to say to us, and we say that to ourselves. It's not Right. It's not fair. You don't have a right to do that. You know, in Judaism, there's an idea of lashin hara, which is to speak in a derogatory way against somebody. That applies to yourself. You're not allowed to speak lashon hara in a derogatory way about yourself. You can't say, oh, I'm so stupid. I can't believe I did that. You have no right to say that. You absolutely no right to say that. And so I think a lot of people, you know, during this time, as we prepare ourselves for Rosh Hashanah of Kippur, we're going around and asking people for forgiveness. When's the last time you asked yourself for forgiveness? And all the things and all the crimes that you committed to yourself.
- [36:55]
B
So powerful. It's so powerful. So beautiful. We're going to wrap up, but there's one last question we'll take, and then we'll. We'll do this again. And thank you guys. And you can. He doesn't need me to say this. He didn't even ask me to say this, but he wrote many books. This. This is like the one I would start with. It's called Endless Light. And the reason it's called Endless Light. You know what's really cool? When I interviewed Deepak Chopra, who Rabbi Aaron once was, on Larry King with Deepak and Marianne Williamson, which is a pretty cool panel of guests. Anyways, the first thing Deepak said to me is, kathy, you don't need to ask me any questions because you already know the answer is the ein soph. And he said it in Hebrew. Ein sof means the endless light. And I said, how did you start the show like that? He's like, I know you're Jewish. I know how you speak. He's like, and I know Rabbi Aaron. And I goes, I know that that's your teacher. And he goes, you have all the answers in you. So it was really cool. But that's what endless light means. The ein sof, the endless light. Somebody asked the question, how do you help somebody who doesn't want to help themselves? How can you help somebody? She said, if there's a family member who's an addict or something like that, it could be very painful, very frustrating. How do you help someone who doesn't want to help themselves?
- [38:06]
C
Well, I always remind people that I don't believe that there's too many things that are quick fixes. So. And I can't set an answer that fits all, because it depends who this person is. But I think it always goes down to love. When a person is mistreating themselves, they just don't feel good about themselves. They don't feel. They feel like they're trash and that, you know, it's interesting that getting drunk is called getting wasted. Getting trashed. Exactly. You are actually leaning into how you really feel about yourself, you know, or drugs is doping, you know, like, it's amazing how you're being honest about it because that's how you feel about yourself. So that's the way you treat yourself. And so the first thing is to give them love and unconditional love. They should know an unconditional love doesn't mean I say it's okay. I'm not telling you it's okay. I'm telling you I love you, and it's not okay. And that's why I'm telling you it's not okay. Because I love you, because I believe in you, because I know you so much more than that. And so it really starts with people just. They don't feel good about themselves, and they don't feel they're worth taking care of themselves. And that's a tragedy. You know, I was. I was speaking to a woman, and she had lent me her car. And she's giving me this whole lecture on the kind of gas I should put in her car because what is going to do to her car? And the whole time I'm getting a lecture of how to take care of her car and what exact gas has to go into it. She's smoking a cigarette. I'm thinking to myself, you care more about your car than your. Your body. I mean, like, you know, it says right on the package, you're smoking kills. You need more than that, you know, but, you know, a lot of people just don't care about themselves. And that's really, really sad. But it didn't start with them. They grew up feeling uncared, unloved. Like that girl crying that I was nice to her because she didn't deserve it. And we have to stop looking to earn love. You don't have to earn love. You don't have to deserve love. It's a gift. It's like my wife and I bought a gift for our neighbor. And our neighbor said, you know, you really didn't have to. I said, if I had to, it wouldn't be a gift. Right? It would be a payment. You're right, I don't have to. And that's why I'm giving it to you. And so very often, when People say, oh, that's not necessary. You're absolutely right. It's not necessary. That's why it's a gift. It's not necessary. And he didn't have to, but I want to please take it and enjoy it. And when people are uncomfortable receiving, that's also not right, because as I mentioned before, one of the gifts of love is to allow people to give you that gift, too.
- [40:40]
B
It's so extraordinary. And you are so the ultimate example. You know, there's so many people in the world who have become very well known for having a lot of really cool things to share, but they don't necessarily live it. You know, whether it's Bikram yoga, we know what happened to that guy. Even though the poses are great. You know what I mean? There's just so many people who, even if they have something so brilliant to give the world, they're not really a living embodiment of it, which is really frustrating. And, Rabbi Aaron, when I first met you at 21 or 20 years old, I went on this Shabbat weekend with you. I'd never done that in my life. I didn't know the Sabbath was even a whole 24 hours. I thought it was a dinner. I didn't even know anything about it, anyway. And four days later, my Mickey Mouse telephone rings in my dorm room in Tallahassee, Florida. And it's Rabbi Aaron. And I go, hello? And he's like, hey, how are you? I go, what? You're calling me? He's like, I don't know. The guy upstairs told me to give you a call. God said to give you a call. And I'm like, bawling, why are you calling? And I'm thinking, I don't have a donation to give. Nope. He didn't care. He doesn't ask. And then he's like, hey, you want to come to Jerusalem? We have an extra bed. I'm like, what are you talking about? Do you remember that Barb and I stayed in that little bedroom above your office? Yeah. Who does that? Who says to someone, I just. And you said, I know I just met you, but I love you so much. And I. And I'm like, yeah. And then you go and change my entire life for needing nothing. Needing nothing. Maybe it's because we both have freckles. I don't know. But whatever it is, I'm the luckiest person ever. And you. I used to annoy you so much because I would say, when I pray, you know, obviously I'm praying to God, but I'M like, I know you're supposed to be. I'm like, I want to pray. I'm praying to God. But I, like, see your face. And you're like, oh, my gosh, but I'm not God. Don't look at my face.
- [42:29]
C
You know, then you must have annoyed me.
- [42:33]
B
He's like, don't. Don't see me. Just go right to your career. But the point is, you're so, so unbelievably special and humble and what do you say we do this again, guys? We're going to do this once a month. Rabbi Aaron, you want to leave us with any last thoughts for today?
- [42:49]
C
Well, you know what? It's what they call cta Call to action. And my call to action today is a tiny task to transform the world. And I'm asking everybody and encouraging everybody to think of one person that could use a kind text. Just wanted to know. I'm thinking about you and sending you my love and my blessings and just somebody that will so randomly be surprised to hear from you that I'm just sending you my love and care and I really hope you're well. We could just do that. Wouldn't this world be already so much better? Just one soul at a time, you know, one kind word at a time. You know, people think it takes big things, doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to take a long time. It just has to come from the heart. It'll go into the heart, and that's a great place to start.
- [43:45]
B
You're so amazing, and I'm so grateful that God puts you in this world for such a time as this. And you guys, thank you for joining us.
- [43:55]
C
Thank you so much, everybody.
- [43:57]
B
Also, Rabbi Aaron recently got onto Instagram. I don't know how much he's actually on it, but somebody's posting for him so you could follow him. He has two accounts, but one of them's not his real upto date one. The one that's his is, I think, David Aaron. 613.
- [44:13]
C
613.
- [44:14]
B
You can follow him. Somebody is, is posting clips of you and it's just beautiful stuff. But we're going to have you back and I know you have to go teach, so you go and do that and I'll. I'll say goodbye to everybody.
- [44:26]
C
Thank you, everybody. Have a great, great day. All the best.
- [44:30]
A
H. I love talking with him. He's so special. All right, Maddie is here to read you the takeaways.
- [44:38]
D
Number one, you are someone. You are some of the one you are a masterpiece piece of the master. Number two. Believe in a God that believes in you. Number three. Give love and give people the opportunity to give that love to you. Number four. Love is not earned, it's a gift. Number five. You should be making a life and not making a living. Instead of judging yourself for how much you earn, evaluate yourself on how much you earn. What do you really, really care about? What will you do so you can look at yourself and say I did something that really matters. Number six. You cannot not be connected. You are to God like a ray of light is to the sun and it's always, always connected. Number 7. Send your love and care to just one soul at a time. It's the tiny tasks that transform the world. Thanks so much for being here. I know you've got a lot going on right now, so I really appreciate how you listen. There's more podcast episodes coming, so make sure you follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen. And if you're enjoying the show, please please leave a rating and a review. Here's one we got today.
- [46:29]
A
Such life giving content. I've been following Kathy for a while and this podcast is like a friend that is always supportive and encouraging. No matter what state you find yourself in. You might be beating yourself up because you didn't do it, scared or the imposter syndrome overcame you or whatever, but when you come back here, it's like a breath of fresh air. You remember who you are, why you were created and you get back to it. I love it here. Oh my gosh, that is just so sweet. Thank you so much for sending in that review. I love reading these on the podcast, so leave the review if you haven't already and maybe you're going to hear me read it on the next episode. Before we go, I just want to remind you that since my book comes out in paperback on November 11, I'm having a summit in LA to celebrate. This is going to be a sacred day to master the art of manifestation where desire meets identity and the universe rushes in to conspire on your behalf. Throughout the day, I'll be leading you through guided practices, soul activations, and conversations with special guests that awaken your ability to create. You're going to witness how quickly reality rearranges when you embody who you really are and you become a magnet for miracles. So if you want to walk through the portal to your greatest expansion, you can sign up@kathyheller.com party I love you so much. And because we also want to celebrate what is possible for you when you say yes to your greatest calling. We're going to use the code expansion to give you 25% off over the next 10 days if you want to work with me privately for any of our one on one coaching offers or you want to join our Wealth Identity Mastermind. So you can either email helloathyheller.com and you can put the subject line Expansion and we'll get you signed up for whatever is the best fit. Or you can DM me on Instagram the word expansion and we can talk about what might be the best fit for you to step fully into this. I love you so much. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful week and I'll talk to you soon.