Charlie and Erika Kirk on Marriage, Parenthood, and More

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Charlie Kirk Show – "Charlie and Erika Kirk on Marriage, Parenthood, and More"

Release Date: June 29, 2025
Hosts: Charlie Kirk, Erika Kirk, and Karen Duddleston

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Introduction

In the June 29, 2025 episode of The Charlie Kirk Show, Charlie Kirk sits down with his wife, Erika Kirk, and guest speaker Karen Duddleston to delve into pivotal topics surrounding marriage, parenthood, and maintaining strong relationships amidst societal pressures. Filmed at the 10th Annual Young Women's Leadership Summit, the conversation provides valuable insights for young women navigating the complexities of modern relationships.

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Prioritizing Marriage and Career

Erika Kirk opens the discussion by addressing the common dilemma young women face: balancing career ambitions with the desire to marry and start a family. She highlights the competing pressures from parents and society urging women to focus on their careers first.

[03:00] Erika Kirk: "Some might even have parents that are like, 'You got to get a job, you got to build your career, you got to build money. Marriage can come later.'"

Karen Duddleston advises young women to prioritize their goals clearly. She suggests writing down career aspirations and focusing on finding the right partner first, asserting that "finding the right person is 90% of the problem."

[04:30] Karen Duddleston: "You just have to make sure that you find the right [person]."

Erika reinforces the importance of prioritization, encouraging women to aim for what matters most to them and align their daily actions accordingly.

[04:26] Erika Kirk: "You have to prioritize and aim at what you want the most."

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Navigating Hookup Culture and Maintaining Purity

The conversation shifts to the challenges posed by hookup culture on college campuses. Erika underscores the difficulty of maintaining purity in an environment saturated with free contraceptives and liberal media influences.

[06:43] Erika Kirk: "How many of you feel as if it's very difficult to maintain your purity on a college campus?"

Karen emphasizes the importance of self-respect and preserving purity until marriage, stating, "He needs to honor your purity. Save it for your husband."

[06:31] Karen Duddleston: "He's not meant to be with you in that way. He needs to honor your purity. Save it for your husband."

They discuss practical strategies for young women to resist societal pressures, including fostering self-control and seeking relationships based on mutual respect and shared values.

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Understanding Male and Female Nature

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the inherent differences between male and female nature, especially in the context of relationships.

Erika points out that men and women communicate differently, with women finding therapeutic value in sharing and men often seeking solutions.

[51:36] Erica Kirk: "For women, conversation, especially conversation about nothing is therapeutic... For men, it's exhausting."

Charlie adds that understanding these differences is crucial for nurturing emotional connections in marriages. He explains that men often approach problems logically and may need to learn to engage more emotionally with their partners.

[18:02] Charlie Kirk: "If everyone in this room collectively said that we are only going to save ourselves for our future husbands, Men will grow up in a way that you would never imagine."

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Premarital Counseling and Key Questions

Erika and Karen advocate for thorough premarital counseling, emphasizing the importance of discussing essential topics before marriage. They suggest a multitude of questions to ensure compatibility, ranging from financial management to lifestyle preferences.

[31:20] Erica Kirk: "Premarital counseling should really explore the nature of your spouse. Introvert, extrovert. What is their love language?"

Karen highlights that addressing potential deal-breakers early on can prevent future conflicts.

[31:47] Karen Duddleston: "What is a vice that your spouse struggles with and what is an acceptable vice and an unacceptable vice?"

They stress that premarital counseling should cover both significant and seemingly minor issues to build a strong foundation for marriage.

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Sabbath Observance and Family Life

The Kirk family shares their commitment to observing the Sabbath, drawing parallels between biblical teachings and modern life. Karen recounts how Sabbath observance has positively impacted her husband's mental health and the overall family dynamic.

[21:18] Karen Duddleston: "Honoring the Sabbath... there is nothing more precious than my husband's sanity."

Erika elaborates on the practical benefits of a day of rest, such as improved mental health and stronger family bonds.

[22:32] Erica Kirk: "We honor the Sabbath... no contact, no social media, no work. Your mental health will improve dramatically."

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Balancing Marriage with Parenthood

The Kirs discuss strategies for maintaining a healthy marriage while raising children. They emphasize that the marital relationship should always take precedence over parenthood.

[25:28] Erica Kirk: "Your marriage actually comes before your kids. Your relationship with your kids is important, yes, but it's not covenantal."

Karen shares practical tips, such as setting aside intentional moments for connection and prioritizing date nights, even amidst the chaos of parenting.

[24:08] Karen Duddleston: "But you have to be really intentional about little moments, that will build into a greater, greater good for the relationship."

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Audience Q&A Highlights

The summit attendees posed various questions, which Charlie, Erika, and Karen addressed with thoughtful advice:

1. Dealing with Visa Delays for a Winter Wedding:

   • Karen encourages embracing the uniqueness of a winter wedding, highlighting cost savings and the beauty of the season.

   [36:29] Karen Duddleston: "The winter season. There really is. And because what comes after winter, spring, metaphorically, you are springing into a new season of life."

2. Navigating Early Marriage Goals Amidst Criticism:

   • Erica and Karen support young women’s desires to marry early, advising resilience against external criticisms and emphasizing the sanctity of marriage and motherhood.

   [39:52] Karen Duddleston: "Don’t let that deter you. It’s another thing, too. Motherhood's the same thing. There are so many Christian moms who will get on social media and they’ll say, 'I need wine. My child's driving me nuts.' Like, no, no, motherhood is beautiful."

3. Balancing Career Aspirations with Future Family Plans:

   • Karen reassures that career endeavors can coexist with family goals, emphasizing that current efforts (like Erika’s Bible projects) will not be lost once children arrive.

   [43:58] Karen Duddleston: "Your children are sacred. Protect them. That is your role as a mother. Your platform was given to you by God. So steward it well and steward it properly."

4. Balancing Gentle Parenting with Partner’s Maturity:

   • Erica and Karen discuss the importance of instilling self-control in children and ensuring that both partners contribute equally to parenting. They highlight practical methods to manage parenting challenges without relying on screens.

   [46:01] Erica Kirk: "The data shows this, but we anecdotally can confirm this. Even like 5 minutes of screen time, they get brattier. They get more unruly."

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Erica and Karen wrap up the episode by reinforcing the importance of strong, biblically grounded relationships and community support. They encourage attendees to start Turning Point USA chapters and to foster meaningful connections that bolster their faith and personal lives.

[57:34] Erica Kirk: "We have. I want all of you to start a Turning Point USA chapter at your high school or college."

Charlie concludes by expressing gratitude to listeners and encouraging them to engage further with the Kirs’ initiatives.

[60:23] Charlie Kirk: "Thanks so much for listening everybody. Email us. As always, freedom.charliekirk.com thanks so much for listening and God bless."

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Key Takeaways

• Prioritize Relationships: Erika and Karen emphasize that prioritizing marriage and building a strong relational foundation is crucial before focusing on career advancements.

• Maintain Purity: Navigating hookup culture requires intentionality and self-control, preserving purity until marriage enhances relationship quality.

• Understand Gender Dynamics: Recognizing and respecting inherent differences between male and female communication and emotional needs strengthens marital bonds.

• Thorough Premarital Counseling: Engaging in comprehensive premarital discussions helps identify and resolve potential conflicts, ensuring compatibility.

• Observe Sabbath: Incorporating a day of rest fosters mental well-being and strengthens family connections.

• Balance Parenthood and Marriage: Maintaining a strong marital relationship amidst parenting demands requires intentional efforts and prioritization.

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This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for young women and couples seeking to build robust, faith-based relationships while navigating modern societal challenges. The Kirs provide actionable advice backed by personal experiences and biblical principles, making it a valuable resource for listeners aiming to cultivate meaningful and lasting marriages.

Transcript

[Charlie Kirk]

Hey, everybody. My conversation with my wife Erica at the Young Women's Leadership Summit. It was a phenomenal conversation that I think you'll really enjoy about dating and marriage and so much more. Email us, as always, freedomarliekirk.com and subscribe to our podcast. Tell your friends to subscribe today at.

[Erica Kirk]

The Charlie Kirk show podcast page.

[Charlie Kirk]

Thanks to Alan Jackson Ministries for your continued support. Buckle up, everybody. Here we go.

[Erica Kirk]

Charlie, what you've done is incredible here.

[Karen Duddleston]

Maybe Charlie Kirk is on the college campus.

[Erica Kirk]

I want you to know we are lucky to have Charlie Kirk. Charlie Kirk's running the White House, folks. I want to thank Charlie. He's an incredible guy, his spirit, his love of this country. He's done an amazing job building one of the most powerful youth organizations ever created, Turning Point usa. We will not embrace the ideas that have destroyed countries, destroyed lives. And we are going to fight for freedom on campuses across the country. That's why we are here.

[Charlie Kirk]

Noble Gold Investments is the official gold sponsor of the Charlie Kirk Show, a company that specializes in gold IRAs and physical delivery of precious metals. Learn how you could protect your wealth with Noble gold investments@noblegold investments.com that is noblegoldinvestments.com it's where I buy all of my gold. Go to noblegoldinvestments.com.

[Erica Kirk]

Thank you, everybody. How great is Erica, by the way? That's not easy to do. I'll tell you what. And it's amazing. She's a incredible mom and doing working on Bible in 365 and proclaim streetwear. And then she gives an amazing address like that. And so, so many friends here. You know, this is our 10th annual Young Women's Leadership Summit. We've been doing this for 10 years. Real women only. Because there's only such thing as real women. I want to say a special thank you to our friend here, Karen Duddleston from the Duttleston Foundation. They've been so generously supporting us for years. So thank you. Without you, none of this would be possible. And so we're just gonna chat for a second here. And then we wanted to open it up for questions from you, which is the most fun, but no political questions. I'll be here back. I'll be here tomorrow. We could do that if you want to talk about all that fun stuff. Literally just want questions for both of us about relationships and raising kids and getting married and all that stuff that you might have questions about. That's what we want to focus this Q and A on. So, Erica, Great job again. I love you.

[Karen Duddleston]

I love you too, baby.

[Erica Kirk]

And so a lot of these young ladies have competing pressures right now. Some might even have parents that are like, hey, you got to get a job, you got to build your career, you got to build money. Marriage can come later. Marriage can come later. However, some ladies might be getting different advice from this conference or from even inside. They say, boy, I might want to get married sooner rather than later. How do they balance that in a godly and biblical way?

[Karen Duddleston]

That's hard because usually those voices are coming from your parents. I mean, they were for me. And so it's hard because you're in that in between of honoring your parents, but also knowing that there's a conviction in your heart to have a family. If you want, you can literally write down what your career, what you want that to look like on a piece of paper, put in an envelope, go pursue. If you find the right guy, that's 90% of the problem, is finding the right, finding the right person first, then building your life. And once you do find the right person and your family loves them, your parents are going to be way more understanding and into the fact of you having a family. I think that's 90% of the.

[Erica Kirk]

So let me ask you, raise your hand. If you had to choose between amazing career, amazing family, you have to choose, who here would choose amazing career?

[Karen Duddleston]

That's fine. If you do, please, like, seriously, please raise your hand.

[Erica Kirk]

There's a couple hands. Amazing family, all the other hands. Got it. Okay, so for everyone that rose the hand of amazing family, how many of you, every single day, it's your purpose for being is finding a husband, then every hand should then go up. But I thought you said you wanted amazing family. You have to prioritize and aim at what you want the most. I might be the only speaker that says this these next couple of days.

[Karen Duddleston]

You just have to make sure that you find the right.

[Erica Kirk]

No, no, I know, but you have to prioritize it.

[Karen Duddleston]

I know, but you can't be like, you can't be like a heat seeking missile where you're like, you see a guy in the back room and you're like, hi. Like, you can't, you know, there's like some nuance. I get what you're saying. I understand his sentiment.

[Erica Kirk]

If you are not, if you're not married by the age of 3, 30, you only have a 50% chance of getting married. And if you don't have kids by the age of 30, you have a 50% chance of not having Kids, you should know that. Now, I'm not telling you anything that is that provocative. It's just the data, right? Having children are a gift from the Lord, and unfortunately, our culture de. Emphasizes it. And again, you get what you aim at, you get what you prioritize. And so, yeah, I. I just. It's interesting because every hand, except a couple. That's. I'm not even saying which answer is right or wrong. It's just if that matters more for you, then everything you do on a daily basis should point towards that.

[Karen Duddleston]

To add on to that for the women who are getting married after 30, that's okay. I'm trying to bridge the gap here because it is okay. It's not ideal. It's not probably the best statistical odd position for you, but it's. But God is good.

[Erica Kirk]

There's nothing wrong with it, right? It's just. I find.

[Karen Duddleston]

No, it's good. This is good.

[Erica Kirk]

If you just want happy talk, that's fine.

[Karen Duddleston]

It's good. God is good. You'll find your human. I found mine, and he's amazing.

[Erica Kirk]

So how do you tell young ladies to navigate the pressures of hookup culture on a college campus where they feel pressured that if they don't get into, let's just say, sexual situations with a male counterpart, then they will not be able to find a boyfriend or a husband.

[Karen Duddleston]

He's not meant to be with you, like on. He needs to honor your purity. Save it for your husband. That's simple.

[Erica Kirk]

Talk more about how they should go about doing that because the pressures are so enormous, from free contraceptives to the podcasts they listen to. How many of you feel as if it's very difficult to maintain your purity on a college campus? Raise your hand. Okay. Not actually. It's less than I thought. So it's easy. Good. No, I guess it's fine. How many. How many people would you. What percentage of young ladies by the time they graduate college do you think still are virgins? Less than 25%. So it's not that easy. Okay, that's interesting. No, I just think. I'm just trying to process it because I don't think the church talks enough about purity. I think it's incredibly important and we should tell young men and young ladies to save themselves from marriage. It's a beautiful thing, right?

[Karen Duddleston]

No, I agree. Because a lot of people will say, well, how do I know that I'm compatible with that person unless I test drive the car before I buy it? That's not a real thing. Don't listen to that lie. Because when you make that covenant with the Lord on that altar, don't let that fire burn out from the altar. That love is so special and so powerful. You will have natural chemistry within that marriage. It's not like you're marrying a robot. Like you married your soulmate. You married the person who God made for you. You're going to be compatible. You should know that.

[Erica Kirk]

So then the question that a lot of young ladies have, but how do you know? How do you know this person is right? And second question. If these young ladies have a liberal boyfriend, should they dump him?

[Karen Duddleston]

100%. How many of you have a liberal boyfriend?

[Erica Kirk]

You have a liberal boyfriend. Don't boo her.

[Karen Duddleston]

Pray for her.

[Erica Kirk]

I was gonna tell you. You can't change them. I'll tell you right now.

[Karen Duddleston]

You can't change.

[Erica Kirk]

No, you're great. But. So how does a young lady know. And is it ever too early to get married? If they're 22 and they feel as if they found the right guy? Is that too early?

[Karen Duddleston]

Well, if you're. Either way, whether you're younger, whatever age you are, I think going through. I know it has a stigma, but premarital is amazing. You get to learn so much about the person you're with. And I have seen it prevent marriages that should not be happening because they are so young and naive with things, and they're so lustful because they haven't gone down the road of having. You know, they're saving themselves, so they're just, like, salivating. Go to premarital. You'll learn a lot when you know he's the one. Here's an example. When Charlie sat across from me and he said, I want to date you. You want to be with someone who has every intention to not mess with your heart, you're going to know. I know it sounds cliche, but you will know. He's not going to treat you like an option.

[Erica Kirk]

How? What advice would you give to young ladies where they are much more motivated than their boyfriend? How many of you have this problem? Raise your hand.

[Karen Duddleston]

Ooh, that's tough.

[Erica Kirk]

I think it's a big problem.

[Karen Duddleston]

Yeah.

[Erica Kirk]

Now, I think that you should both be motivated. But if the woman is much more motivated than the man, would you agree that ends up causing structural issues?

[Karen Duddleston]

Right. Because the man then ends up leaving his pants on the ground and the woman has to put them on. And so then she becomes the breadwinner because then the husband's just chill and is like, I'm fine with, you know, not going any further. Than the level that I'm at while the woman is aspiring to be more and more and more so, then you become uneven and unequally yoked in your relationship or marriage, and that's just a recipe for.

[Erica Kirk]

It becomes disordered. And there. There wasn't a ton of hands, but there were enough where it's a noticeable issue. And I find it from the young male perspective that there's a whole longer speech I could give about the problems with male masculinity. How many of you think that the current dating pool of young men is not great? Raise your hand. Okay, so. No, no, this is very important. Every hand went up. This is very important. What if I told you, if every hand of young men think that the dating pool of young women is not great? So who's right? Oh, you guys are right. Okay, okay. I encourage you all to have a little more humility about that. What is one thing young women can do better to make themselves more appealing to men who say that the current dating pool of young women is lackluster? I ask good questions.

[Karen Duddleston]

You? Yes.

[Erica Kirk]

I do this for a little.

[Karen Duddleston]

That's why he has such a good podcast and radio show, the Charlie Kirk Show.

[Erica Kirk]

You guys liking these questions?

[Karen Duddleston]

You know, this might be so simple, but people pick up on the way you speak. I'm not talking about, you know, if you sound smart or whatever. I'm saying the. They will pick up if you curse, they will pick up. If you're speaking life over someone men hate when women are gossiping, literally, the fire behind your lips is so powerful. And if you can find a way to harness your tongue in a way that's biblical and you dress appropriately, you don't have everything hanging out, you will attract a different type of guy. Now, if you're going to the club or wherever you're going and you're trying to appease a guy that is, are you going to bring him to your mom? Are you going to bring him to your grandparents? Like, really just be the type of woman, the godly woman that God needs you to be to attract the man that he made for you. That's what you need to be.

[Charlie Kirk]

We're honored to be partnering with the Alan Jackson Ministries, and today I want to point you to their podcast. It's called Culture and Christianity, the Alan Jackson Podcast. What makes it unique is Pastor Alan's biblical perspective. He takes the truth from the Bible and applies it to issues that we're facing today. Gender confusion, abortion, immigration, Doge Trump and the White House issues in the church. He doesn't just discuss the problems. In every episode, he gives practical things we can do to make a difference. His guests have incredible expertise and powerful testimonies. Each episode will make you recognize the power of your faith and how God can use your life to impact our world. Today, the Culture and Christianity podcast is informative and encouraging. You can find it on YouTube, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes. Alan Jackson Ministries is working hard to get biblical truth back into our culture. You can find out more about Pastor Alan and the [e-mail] that is AlanJackson.com.

[Erica Kirk]

Again, that is AlanJackson.com young men have serious problems. We're working on fixing that. Right? And it's easy to laugh. But you need, you need young men. You do and understand that young men are in a far sicker position right now than young ladies are. They're committing suicide more. They're checking out a society. They are on more anti, they're on a lot of. There's a lot of issues and it's easy to kind of make fun of young men. But a society needs strong men and we need husbands and we need fathers. And everyone in this room should be part of that project of making men strong again. Everyone. And so let me first say what young men need to embrace. How many of you would agree that self control is an attractive quality that's hard to find in men? Every man. Every hand goes up. Right? I totally, I say this to young men all the time, that a young lady cares more that if you can control your impulses and control your desires, because that is a signal of what? Maturity, not of infancy. Self control is a signal of maturity. And a young lady, whether she can articulate it or not, when she sees maturity in a man, she knows that when there's chaos, that man will be able to navigate the family, the relationship through that kind of environment. Young ladies need to be willing to submit to a godly man when you meet one. And if you're not willing to do that, then you got to pray about that. Because a lot of young men in the dating pool say, I don't want to be bossed around all the time. I'm just telling you what I hear from men all the time. The hyper toxic feminism is very, very off, off putting to young men. And I know this is contrary to what a lot of people here on college campuses. You know, you have to assert your dominance. You have to kind of call your shot. That's fine. However, an attitude in the dating pool is that it can be very off putting to young men that are already put down so much in our society. They're called toxically masculine. They're called, you know, who needs men? The patriarchy. And so then they just largely disengage or they do even a worse thing, which is they get involved. Like, I'm just going to sleep with a bunch of women but not going to marry them. Right. The problem is on both sides, in my personal opinion. And again, I think that Erica hit it perfectly. Last thing I'll say, and then we'll do some questions is men want what they cannot have. Men will do anything to solve the problem of scarcity. Anything. And if. If men can get you quite easily, that is not an attractive quality to be able to have a man go on a journey with you. I'm just being very, very honest with you. And there is one thing that men want more than anything else, and it's not Bitcoin. You know what it is? And as women have not been saving themselves for marriage, and men too, in the last 30 or 40 years, we've seen marriage rates collapse. There is a one to one correlation on those two things. And so all that to say that, young ladies, everybody in this room, you have more power than I think you could ever imagine. If everybody in this room collectively said that we are only going to save ourselves for our future husbands, Men will grow up in a way that you would never imagine, like you can't believe. Because all of a sudden they'd be like, well, well, because you understand, hookup culture has given men everything they've always wanted. They don't have to work for sex. They don't have to grow up, they don't have to do anything. And then women will just throw themselves at them and they could stay as grown infants for the rest of their life. And unfortunately does a lot of damage to young ladies. A lot. It does a lot of psychological damage and a lot of spiritual damage. So if everyone here basically said, nope, we're going to combine our power and be pure and trust in Jesus and in God for our future husband, you would be shocked at how much the dating pool improves.

[Charlie Kirk]

Okay, I want to tell you about.

[Erica Kirk]

One thing, and then we'll do a question line. We have a special. Who would love to meet Erica Riley Gaines and get a picture with me? I'm sure that would be a lot of fun. Right? All right, so we have a special giveaway if you, if you guys follow the QR Codes on our screen, subscribe to the podcast and then email@freedom charliekirk.com we'll pick 10 winners, but you have to follow that QR code in the next couple minutes. So follow that QR code, subscribe and email us. Proof of subscription freedomarliekirk.com you know what's awesome? Women are much better rule followers than men. So I know that all of you are going to get that right. No, it's true. Men, if you guys. One of the most important things that I can leave you with before we go to questions. If you want to find your future soulmate, you must desire to humbly know male nature. How many people here think you know male nature? Anybody? Only if you are married. Do you. Can you raise your hand? Okay. Male nature. Easy to make fun of, but a lot deeper than you realize. Raise your hand. Do you think that men are better at. Let me put it this way. Raise your hand if you think that men are better at micro tasks than women. Details? Anybody? Okay, couple hands. Raise your hand if you think that men are better at macro tasks than women. Raise your hand. Okay, you're right. It's not even close. Okay, macro. When. If two people are talking on a college campus and I told you they were talking about sports, they were talking about the stock market or politics, is it more likely to be a man, two men, or two women? Two. Two men. If I tell you that two people on a college campus are talking about their relationships, the conversations they had earlier in the day and what fellow classmates were wearing, is it two men or two women? Micro versus macro. You must understand that a man might forget to shower for three days because he's too worried that we're going to go to a nuclear war with Iran. Men are obsessed with the macro and they often forget the micro. This is why corporations want to hire you so badly. Understand this because you are incredibly good at micro tasks. That is why young women have been so well paid in the corporate environment. Because when it comes to getting details done, women are much better than men. No male nature and you'll be in a much better chance to find your future husband. Okay, we'll start right there. Is that okay? Hi, what's your name?

[Carissa]

My name is Carissa. Charlie and Erica. Thank you for saying yes and being obedient to what God has for you. And it's really shaped my life and everyone else here. I would love to know your thoughts on Sabbath and how practically your family practices this and applies it.

[Karen Duddleston]

I will let him talk, but as the wife I will say I have seen it transform. I already. I love my husband, and he's amazing, and an intentional father and husband.

[Erica Kirk]

But.

[Karen Duddleston]

But him honoring the Sabbath, I have seen it transform him in a way that is so powerful that when he turns his phone off and it goes in that drawer, and I know that it's, you know, he's all on for the family. There is no distractions, and he finally gets to reset his brain. He finally gets to breathe. And as a wife, there is nothing more precious than my husband's sanity when it comes to the echo chamber and everything that he's dealing with in his world. So I have seen it change him and impact our family in one of the most beautiful ways. But I want him to.

[Erica Kirk]

Well, thank you. And we're very serious Sabbath keepers. We. This would be an exception because we're here with all of you, but we'll do it on Sunday. We actually take the traditional Jewish Sabbath. If you don't want to do that, I'm not here to debate you on it. It's fine. If you want to do it privately, I'll beat you. But that's a whole separate issue. But it's fine. It doesn't. It actually doesn't matter that much. What does matter is I think that to our own detriment and to our own failure, we as Christians have decided to cast away. Resting on one of the seven days God rested after creation. That comes before the Hebrews. It comes even before the creation of the. Of the. Of the modern world and civilization as we know it. And so we honor the Sabbath. We're very serious about it. We get to spend more time with our family. We do no news. We do no work. And it says very, very clearly in the Scriptures, for six days you shall work, and the seventh day you shall rest. If you are feeling overrun by society, you might be feeling depressed or anxious. Here's just one way that you might be able to improve. Turn your phone off for one day. No contact, no social media, no work. Your mental health will improve dramatically. You can. You can hang out with friends, you can go for a walk, but don't work for one day. That is a day for worship. That is a day for the Lord. That is a day to go be with God. That is a day to read your Bible and be out of the busyness and the hurriedness and the. Just the anger and the noise of this world. Go back to God's natural rhythm. And it's made our family much tighter knit. And I could be traveling for five or six days. But if I at least get one good Sabbath, my family, it charges all back up. So God bless you. Thank you so much and Shabbat shalom tonight.

[Savannah]

Hi, Charlie and Erica. My name's Savannah. This is Lila, Esther. And we have another one on the way in January, so I did find my godly man and we are making more babies. My question for you is we want to have a lot of kids. And I'm wondering what your best advice is for young couples with small children on how to prioritize and nurture their marriage amidst the busy day to day life of kids.

[Karen Duddleston]

That's a very good question because your marriage came first and your husband is very important because your kids, you're raising them to fly, you're raising them to leave the nest. They'll always come back. And once they do, I think that's why people get empty nest syndrome, because they look at their husband in an empty living room and they're like, who are you? I have to relearn you. You want to grow with your husband. That is going to be very acrobatic at times. Even if that means locking yourself in a closet with your husband for just an hour to say, can I breathe with you? Can I just five minutes. Can I just have a second to look at you? Something that Charlie does that's really sweet, that I love, is that sometimes, especially when he's traveling, we don't. Obviously we figure out the dynamic of at least having a date night at least once a month, at least. But there'll be moments where he's literally about to rush out the door and I won't see him for several days. Kids are wreaking havoc in the kitchen, pulling things out all over, and he just grabs me and he's like, one minute. And we just literally stare at each other for a minute and say like, I love you, whatever you need to say. But you just. We have that one minute together to reset our hearts. And honestly, that is something that we. That helps recharge the bucket until you get that date night. So just being really intentional about little moments, that will build into a greater, greater good for the relationship. But I know you.

[Erica Kirk]

I agree with all that. Just prioritize. Obviously your marriage actually comes before your kids. I know that's a provocative thing to say, but it's true. Your, your relationship with your kids is important, yes, but it's not covenantal.

[Karen Duddleston]

Right?

[Erica Kirk]

It's, it's your, you, Your marriage is a covenant. Your relationship with your kids is an outgrowth of a covenant, they're under your stewardship. But covenantal relationships are ones that we saw with Abraham and David and Israel and of course, Jesus. That idea of marriage being a covenant is a big, big deal. In fact, only marriage in the Bible is compared to Christ's relationship with the church. So always prioritize your marriage. Thank you.

[Charlie Kirk]

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[Erica Kirk]

Why?

[Charlie Kirk]

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[Erica Kirk]

Us and it's only getting started. They were a huge supporter of our Young Women's Leadership Summit.

[Charlie Kirk]

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[Erica Kirk]

Student loan statements on your kitchen table anymore. Why?

[Charlie Kirk]

Refi offers a 3 minute rate check without any credit impact. Go to yrefi.com let's face it, if you have distressed or defaulted private student loans, nobody is coming to bail you out and bankruptcy is not an option. But you could take charge of your situation by contacting yrefi. Go to yrefi.com that is yre f y.com that is yrefi.com Many clients are.

[Erica Kirk]

Not able to even make the first monthly payment on their private student loans.

[Charlie Kirk]

When they contact yrefi. Go to yrefi.com Again, they don't care what your credit score is.

[Erica Kirk]

You got to check it out right.

[Charlie Kirk]

[e-mail] Yrefi is not a debt settlement company and they work with each borrower.

[Erica Kirk]

Individually, tailoring each loan. Each borrower's specific situation you will not be calling a faceless call center.

[Charlie Kirk]

Go to yrefi.com that is yrefy.com.

[Erica Kirk]

Hi.

[Lindsey Cameron]

My name is Lindsey Cameron. I'm 18 years old and I was homeschooled and I just graduated high school. And with graduating high school comes the question of, so what are you gonna do? Yeah, and to be honest, in my career, like, I want to be a mom and I want to have kids and I want to homeschool them and I want to stay at home with them. And that's just not a really acceptable answer. And I'm struggling to really know what I want to do in the meantime while I'm waiting to get married and have kids because I'm not dating and I don't see anybody that I really want to date. And so I'm just, I'm in. I know I have a lot of friends who are in the same position too, of being in this weird waiting period where I don't want to go to college, and I don't want to commit to a career that I know that I'm going to abandon once I have kids. So I was just wondering if y' all had any advice for that and if you had any advice with dealing with criticism, because I'm having some from my extended family.

[Karen Duddleston]

What I know we talk about don't follow your. Don't follow your heart and all that.

[Erica Kirk]

Don't follow your heart. It's a bad idea. Not do that. No, you laugh, but the Bible is very clear. The heart is wicked. Do not follow your heart, but your talents.

[Karen Duddleston]

Right?

[Erica Kirk]

Yes, that's correct. Yeah. I mean, so look, what are you good at?

[Karen Duddleston]

What are you talented at?

[Lindsey Cameron]

I love people. I love talking to people all the time. And honestly, Turning Point usa, like, Alex Clark has really shaped my life. I got really into cultural apothecary, and it's kind of changed my life. And, I mean, I would love to get involved in health and wellness, but I feel like there's not a really clear path for a career in that. I feel like most people just kind of happen to fall into it because of life circumstances, and I don't really know where to start for that.

[Erica Kirk]

Yeah, you'd be surprised. I mean, like, so I could give you a million ideas, but the first thing is you're already thinking about this correctly. Which is your aim. You got your aim right, which is important. And by the way, if your aim is career, I'm not saying that's bad. At least you are clear. Don't confuse yourself of your aim. We are aiming creatures. We need something to point at. I mean, look, there's a million things you could do. You could work at a mobile IV clinic, right. As an administrator. Like, there's a lot of stuff you could do in that kind of Maha space, I would imagine. Are you from Texas, I'm guessing?

[Lindsey Cameron]

Yeah, I'm from here.

[Erica Kirk]

Okay. Yeah. Great. And Dallas actually has a huge infrastructure of, like, new maha small businesses. You could work at those kind of around that kind of genre and that outreach. I will say, though, that don't. If you find your future husband and he is godly and it passes premarital counseling, which. Erica's exactly right. Do not appease extended family. You only really have one thing to worry about, which is the fear of the Lord. Right. Now, let me just. Can we riff on premarital counseling for a second? It's very, very important, and it shouldn't get a bad taboo. If you are anybody currently engaged right now, I'M sure there's some. Okay. Awesome. Praise the Lord. It's amazing. Aren't you from Canada or something? Yeah, I remember you. You found a husband. We'll talk in a second. We'll talk in a second. I remember you. That's great. I hope you did not find your partner here at ywls. I hope you. I'm kidding. So. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. So at sas, right? So premarital counseling. Who's going to control the finances? Who's going to wake up in the middle of the night if the kid has an issue? Are you going to have kids? How many kids? Are you going to raise the kids Protestant or Catholic? Are you going to read the Bible? Are you. Here's a good question. In premarital counseling that most won't ask and you got. This will save you a lot of problems. Are you a open or closed house? Who here grew up in an open house where all the kids would come by in the neighborhood? You know what I'm talking about, right? How many of you was raised in a closed house where your parents. Yeah, okay. That's important, though. Has anyone ever told you when you look in a spouse to ask that question, were you raised in an open or closed house? It's incredibly important because all of a sudden, if you re. If you. If you marry an open house person, this was not an issue for us, thankfully.

[Karen Duddleston]

Yeah.

[Erica Kirk]

At all. But I've seen it destroy marriages, and they've recovered some. Not an open house person marries a closed house person. They get married. They're inviting all their friends over all the time. Barbecue, open up. Let's end. The closed house person is like, this is crazy. I wasn't raised like this. And none of that gets filtered in the engagement. That's one of like a hundred questions that. That would be a good book. We could write 100 questions you should ask before you get married. Right. That would be a good book.

[Vicki]

That'd be fun.

[Erica Kirk]

Go ahead.

[Karen Duddleston]

No, no, no. I was just saying the home is sacred.

[Erica Kirk]

I could go on, but that's like. You just have to. What premarital counseling should do, which it does a bad job of in most churches, is you must really know the nature of your spouse. Introvert, extrovert. What is their love language? Right. Do they need time alone? Do they get filled up when you spend time with them or when they come home and they're beat down? Do they need time alone? Here's a good one that almost no pastor will ever tell you what is a vice that your spouse struggles with and what is an acceptable vice and an unacceptable vice? So, for example, an acceptable vice might be that you'll allow alcohol. We don't drink. Right. So that for us, I'm not saying you have to do that, but for us, that's what works. So it's not even a question. Some men like cigars. I think they smell like, you know, dead raccoons, but that's fine. Are you willing to smell a cigar? Have you ever smelled a cigar? Will your house be able to withstand cigar smoke? Inside, you're laughing. This is the stuff that breaks apart marriages. This is the stuff that creates isolation. And it must be flushed out in the engagement period, not in the honeymoon period or two years in. And so other vices, which is like, you know, we're not going to watch R rated movies or we're not going to swear. You'd be amazed at how many marriages, all of a sudden, you know, the husband's just dropping F bombs. She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, we don't do that around here. You see this? Who's going to cook? Right? What does it mean to take time off? Here's another one. What type of vacations are you guys going to take? This is very important, right? What, I should write the book? Yeah. Right. But no, but think about it. Because Erica grew up in a camping family, right?

[Karen Duddleston]

Yes, we.

[Erica Kirk]

How many of you guys are camping families? Yes.

[Karen Duddleston]

Yeah.

[Erica Kirk]

How many of you guys think camping is, like, for Neanderthals? Raise your hand. I. I'm an Eagle Scout. If it's a necessity for survival, I'll go camping. Okay.

[Karen Duddleston]

His camping's like the Four Seasons.

[Erica Kirk]

Yeah, exactly. Okay. No, I have no shame in that. Okay? I have a busy life. I get, like, three days off a year. I'm not going to, like, hang my food by a tree for the three days off I have a year. Okay. That dog's not gonna hunt for other families. They think it's, like, invigorating and exhilarating, right? To, like, run from the wolves at night or something. I don't know. Or like, hey, we're gonna do a road trip. Road trip? Really? In an rv? Oh, sounds interesting.

[Karen Duddleston]

That's like Charlie's worst nightmare to be stuck in a moving vehicle at multiple. For multiple hours.

[Erica Kirk]

I had to go into a trailer that's an rv. And they said, isn't this nice? So, yeah, I would rather go to Alcatraz than be stuck in this thing. It's just. It's Just every day.

[Karen Duddleston]

We went on a cruise once and that was the last time we'd ever go on it.

[Erica Kirk]

No, it's. It's terrible.

[Karen Duddleston]

Which, I mean, I.

[Erica Kirk]

This is important because you might think, think you know your spouse and all of a sudden you book like a seven day cruise in the Caribbean and it's non refundable and he has the head.

[Karen Duddleston]

I didn't do this, by the way. Just. But he. Charlie had the headband.

[Erica Kirk]

I had everything behind his Dramamine drop. I had. I was. Do I. I get totally seasick. It's terrible, right? It's. You have to know the nature. Right?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Erica Kirk]

And unfortunately. And we can kind of. We say we want to get married early, but that does not mean you should get married in a rushed way.

[Karen Duddleston]

Right.

[Erica Kirk]

So two different things. Early and rushing are not synonyms. Thank you. I hope that was somewhat helpful that we took a lot of detours there.

[Melissa]

Oh, do you want to hold it?

[Erica Kirk]

Hey. So you're getting married. Yes. Amazing.

[Melissa]

So, speaking of which, I have a winning planning question. I know that this sounds a bit weird. So essentially I am facing visa delays. How do I deal with the disappointment and the feeling of sadness of having to plan for a peak winter wedding in the state of Wisconsin?

[Erica Kirk]

Wait, so, okay, is it a visa question or is it.

[Karen Duddleston]

It's.

[Melissa]

So basically because of the visa delays, which is beyond anyone's, beyond pretty much anyone's control. How do I plan for. Okay, I am going to have a wedding in the peak winter when there's snow outside, when it's really, really cold, like, and I'm feeling disappointed and sad about it.

[Karen Duddleston]

You shouldn't. The winter is actually really beautiful. There's something really. I know it's cold. You can figure out the outfit. You can wear a really beautiful shawl over yourself. There's way more options for winter attire than the typical. Think of it this way. Your wedding's gonna be amazing because you're not having to have the florals and the things.

[Erica Kirk]

You'll save a bunch of money.

[Karen Duddleston]

You'll save a ton of money.

[Erica Kirk]

Wisconsin and winter.

[Karen Duddleston]

You're gonna get a killer deal. Yes, you'll get a killer deal. But there's something special about the. The winter season. There really is. And because what comes after winter, spring, metaphorically, you are springing into a new season of life. You are springing into a beautiful marriage. Embrace the snow. Embrace the beauty of it. It might not be ideally what you want. And that's. That's okay because God's challenging you to release that the Wedding day is a wedding day. It's really not for you. It's for your family. It's important on the altar, that is for you. But I'm talking about the party. It's really not for you. It's to entertain everyone else. So just hold true to the fact that what matters the most, regardless of the season, is the man and the woman standing at the altar. And that covenant you're making, it could be raining, it could be snowing, it could be a hundred and some degrees like our wedding. That didn't stop us. What's so important is, is that marriage. And that because when you guys get married, that's your family, Your husband's, your family, everyone else's relatives, that's your husband.

[Erica Kirk]

Congratulations. And I want to use you as an example. What's your name again?

[Melissa]

Vicki.

[Erica Kirk]

And that was last year when you gave the question two years ago?

[Karen Duddleston]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

So that was in 2024. So that was last year.

[Erica Kirk]

So Vicki came up last year and said, how do I meet a husband? And she made it her priority. And a year later, she's engaged. How awesome. I actually. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Next question. Yes.

[Lily]

Hi, Erica. Charlie. I'm Melissa. And my question is I'm 20 and I'm single, and I want to get married young. However, every. Almost every woman in my life is telling me that I'm not missing out on anything. Do you have any response to that?

[Karen Duddleston]

The women. The women that are married?

[Lily]

Yes.

[Karen Duddleston]

Oh, that's so sad. That's really sad.

[Erica Kirk]

I mean, as far as, like, having kids or the relationship or just, like.

[Lily]

Getting married young, because when I tell people, like, my parents are really supportive about it, but when I tell other people, like, in church, like, outside of church, I won't get married young, they. They look down on me. Like, why? They, like, they tell me to, you know, get. Go to college and get a career. So, like, what is, like, a good response to that? And, like, what should I be doing? Because I don't. I don't feel like I'm missing out, but I'm not sure what I should be doing.

[Erica Kirk]

What church do you go to? I must have missed it in Matthew, which is go forth and become a CEO of a shoe company. Be fruitful and multiply. Like, I mean, first of all, you are hitting a very fundamental and precious point. I've said for a long time, we as Christians have done a crappy job of glorifying and celebrating marriage. And in fact, when we first got married, I heard almost more negatives than positives like, oh, you're going to be have your handcuffs or, oh, marriage is the most awesome thing ever. Everybody. It's amazing. And.

[Karen Duddleston]

I think it's because they didn't have good examples to look towards themselves. So they either settled or they're not happy, because either something in their life they didn't settle and get fixed prior to getting marriage, they're unequally yoked. It's sad, but honestly, I feel like, like I talked about, that's a form of spiritual warfare. Like, the enemies will use anybody to keep you from where God needs you to be. So smile and wave, just be like, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's not going to happen to me. And you just, you say, I'll be praying for you. I mean, marriage is beautiful. Don't let that deter you. It's another thing, too. Motherhood's the same thing. There are so many Christian moms who will get on social media and they'll say, I'm so tired. I need wine. My child's driving me nuts. Like, no, no, motherhood is beautiful. It's exhausting, but it's beautiful. And it's not gonna be those sleepless nights. Yeah, one day your kid's probably not gonna come home until midnight. So the sleepless nights gets, like, a little bit. But you will sleep again. You will have, you know, your time again. But I feel so bad for the women not being able to have people to look towards for marriage and motherhood because they just are complaining about it mostly, which is sad.

[Charlie Kirk]

If you want to make sense of the change and the chaos happening around us, you're going to need God's help. That's why Alan Jackson Ministries, a friend of mine, created the Culture and Christianity podcast, the Culture and Christianity Conference, and their weeknight news show, Alan Jackson. Now millions of people also listen to Pastor Alan Jackson's powerful sermons each week. I do. On radio, television, satellite, and online. In today's world, there's desperate need for truth, and Alan Jackson Ministries feels a sense of urgency to deliver God's truth and a biblical perspective to anyone who will listen. We can't afford to be complacent. Their mission is to help people become more fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ, which is the most important thing, giving your life to the Lord. Including here on the Charlie Kirk show. Go to alanjackson.com Charlie that is alanjackson.com Charlie to find recent podcasts, shows and sermons. Be informed, find encouragement, hear the truth delivered in a way that just makes sense. You'll also find books, studies, prayers, and other tools to help you grow in your faith again. That's alanjackson.com Charlie. Alanjackson.com Charlie, this is our time to make a difference.

[Erica Kirk]

Check it out right now. I have to do this before I forget. Who here knows? Nobody in the room, raise your hand. Anybody?

[Karen Duddleston]

Oh, that's cool.

[Erica Kirk]

All right, for those of you that know, keep your hands up. Keep your hands up.

[Karen Duddleston]

I like that.

[Erica Kirk]

Everybody around the people raising your hands. Now you have to introduce yourself, and then we fix that problem. No, seriously, go do that right now and say where you're from.

[Karen Duddleston]

That's sweet. That's sweet.

[Erica Kirk]

And now you have friends. You're welcome. You're welcome. That's what the Young Women's Leadership Summit is all about. How great is that? Next question.

[Vicki]

Hi, Mr. Mr. Kirk, my name is Nevaeh. I'm 18 years old, and I was homeschooled my whole life and just graduated last year. Thank you. So right now I'm in that period of my life where I'm trying to establish myself. So I've been working for myself online as a YouTuber and a podcaster from the time I was 15, and I'm actually trying to work for you right now. So that's what I've been focusing on. But I do have a really strong desire as a Christian to eventually get married and have children, and I want to homeschool my kids as well eventually. So I'm wondering what your advice is for balancing those two desires and what to prioritize at what stage of your life since women can't have it all.

[Karen Duddleston]

Women, they can have it all, but it's not simultaneously like different seasons. Your career, again, like I said, is not going anywhere. So what you're establishing now on YouTube and your platform and all that stuff, it's not going anywhere. What I will recommend, though, is when you do have children, do not use your children as pawns for a discount code. Do not use your child for a free stroller for some influencer thing. Your children are sacred. Protect them. That is your role as a mother. Your platform was given to you by God. So steward it well and steward it properly, but it's not going to go anywhere. What you're building now is not going to get destroyed. I think that's what a lot of people get misconstrued, is thinking like, okay, what I'm building now is going to be worthless once I have a family. No, God will redirect it. He'll turn it into Whatever it needs to turn into, pray on it because it's not always super clear, but it will come to you. And I think that, yes, every season is going to come and have its own time and turn, but if you're, if this is what you're focusing on right now, like that's what you're focusing on. I mean, I don't.

[Erica Kirk]

I think you're in a great spot, honestly. And Erica answered it beautifully. So again, if you, you have to always prioritize what you. What matters most. And with that, the Lord will open up the right doors.

[Karen Duddleston]

Yeah.

[Erica Kirk]

Thank you. All right, let's see how quick this one is. This might be the last question. Yes. Okay.

[Carissa]

Hi, guys. My name is Lily. So one thing is a piece of advice I'd love. The other is a question, whichever one you guys have time for. So first of all, with gentle parenting and then you have like abusive homes, what is the balance of biblical discipline in love? And also I would love advice for. If, you know, you have a godly guy in your life. You guys agree on a lot of things, spiritually and politically, but you still feel like there's a of lot. Little bit more maturity that needs to go. How do you wait on the Lord and how do you go about that?

[Karen Duddleston]

I'll take the second one.

[Erica Kirk]

That, that's a. I'll take the first one too.

[Karen Duddleston]

But I want to hear, I mean, it's powerful to hear from the father.

[Erica Kirk]

Most important thing as a parent is that you must instill self control, not self esteem for your kid. Whatever it takes, you must have them understand the power of restraint, which is a fruit of the spirit. Remember, self control is a fruit of the spirit. That's much easier said than done. Right. I could tell you more about what not to do and what we're not doing than what we're doing, because we're still figuring it out. But we know what not to do.

[Karen Duddleston]

Yeah.

[Erica Kirk]

It is a, it is a civilizational tragedy when Eric and I go out with our two kids to eat and we go look at another family and everyone has their eyes on a screen. It's so, I just, it is so beyond. I don't want to sound judgmental. Maybe they had like a long day at work or something. I really find no excuse whatsoever because these kids put on these headphones and they just escape reality staring at these screens all day long and it's, it's really, really bad, everybody. And it's totally unnecessary. We have a very hyperactive two year old. You just, you have to just have them color something. Have them ready.

[Karen Duddleston]

I bring an arsenal of a backpack. I have play doh. I have paints. I have anything you can imagine. You just load up that bag and that's. But you're teaching them. You make it fun. Here's your fancy napkin. You get to order. Like, this is really special. If they have to get up and go outside and run around, so be it. But you're teaching them how to interact with adults. You're teaching them how to be patient. If you're putting a screen in front of them, you're teaching them a way to escape.

[Erica Kirk]

The data shows this, but we anecdotally can confirm this. Even like 5 minutes of screen time, they get brattier. They get more unruly. They just kind of get disconnected from where they are. We could see a total behavioral difference with our daughter as soon as there's like a screen introduced.

[Karen Duddleston]

Even if it's just Spotify. Like, if. Even if she's like, I want to choose my song. Do you want to be a snowman? And she. And. But like five minutes later, she's like, you can't.

[Erica Kirk]

It's like she's droned in.

[Karen Duddleston]

Right?

[Erica Kirk]

So we have one screen for the whole family central. And same as Matt Walsh, and I kind of got this from him. There's agreed upon stuff that we're allowed to watch as a family. And it's a very, very short list. Right? It's like Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and then the Chicago Cubs and the Charlie Kirk Show. And the Charlie Kirk Show. And we don't allow it later in the day unless the Cubs are playing. That's a whole separate issue. They happen to be good this year. And then maybe some college football. But that's like, we're so careful because we can do the whole parenting. But as far as this, this is a very difficult thing. And it's hard for. It's very hard, actually. But it must be said. You are not your kid's friend.

[Karen Duddleston]

Right?

[Erica Kirk]

That is like. It is. I know that it sounds easy to hear. You are their parents. It is a. It is an up and down relationship. It is. It is not a horizontal one. You are not their equal. And I see in public sometimes these parenting displays that it's so sad. Where it's just placation. The parent is being held hostage by the child. It is. It is like a ongoing blackmail operation. No, I'm not kidding. Where it's like, give me candy or else. I riot. It's like completely different than like, bl. It's no different than blm. It's like, you know, give me something or else I'm gonna tear. Seriously, it's like, no, you need rules and order. And like, Erica's been amazing. She deserves. You deserve so much credit. Like, sometimes you leave the restaurant, sometimes like, nope, we're done, actually. You made a fool of yourself. We're done. We gave you one last warning, right? And final thing is that and Alex Clark has been phenomenal on this. She deserves a lot of credit. She does. And it's informed us amongst Bobby, Kendi and others, what you are putting into your kids really matters. Especially sugar, carbohydrates, how they behave. If you feed them good stuff, parenting becomes easier. Not easy, but easier.

[Karen Duddleston]

Truly, truly. I forget what you're saying.

[Erica Kirk]

Gentle parenting and the maturity of a man. He's not quite there yet. He's not as mature as she would like.

[Karen Duddleston]

I would have him find someone. If you have a solid church that you go to, I would share that with either the pastor or someone within the church that you look up to. And have a male figure pour into him. Not a stranger or not an uncle or not a brother. Someone totally a separate party that's not connected. It can be private. But have him go and get mentored once, twice a week and really just have someone he can look towards to see. Like, this is the way to be a biblical.

[Erica Kirk]

He needs to hear one thing, just one sentence. You will lose her if you don't grow up.

[Karen Duddleston]

Yeah.

[Erica Kirk]

If he hears that, radical change will happen. If the right person says that, he doesn't need a whole feeling session. We don't need that as men. We don't need emotionality. No, no. You need conviction and order and a challenge. And we need like high stakes. And if we hear you're going to lose what you take for granted if you don't watch radical change ensue. Thank you. Last question.

[Carissa]

Sorry. Hi, guys. My name is Violet. I'm from San Antonio. I'm super emotional as well. I'm sure I'm not one the only. And I also know that men are very logical and kind of have a hard time with that. So I was wondering, Charlie, what do you do to really nurture Erica's emotional side when your boy brain is like trying to answer every question and be logical with her?

[Erica Kirk]

It's a great question. This is why understanding female nature to the best of our ability as men is very important. And again, we've had like different configurations of a men's summit. But I talk to men a lot on campus. And through my content and stuff. But it's what I tell them is that you must understand. God wired us a lot differently. The biggest thing is really time. Time with your spouse. Time to have your spouse be able to think or talk about that specific situation that has them maybe fired up. Right? And then also, sometimes men look at. We have a problem where we think we are the firefighter to put out a fire. We see problem, we want to fix it, right? We see broken engine, we come to repair it, right? Sometimes the solution is just talking about the problem, which for us is like an incomprehensible thing. It's like, wait, why would you talk about the problem and not solve the problem? Because sometimes the problem is the fact that it hasn't been talked about. About. Am I right? I understand female nature. And it's like, for men, it's like. It's like, what do you. It's like a distant thing. And similarly for you, when you have husbands, right? It might drive you crazy that you can't. And Eric and I, we talk about this. You can't get out more than three. How was your day? Fine. You know what you do today? Stuff.

[Karen Duddleston]

A lot of stuff.

[Erica Kirk]

They're not. It's not an insult to you.

[Karen Duddleston]

No. They're tired.

[Erica Kirk]

Tired. And our brains work differently, right? It's. For women, conversation, especially conversation about nothing is therapeutic. Okay. I'm sorry. It's very cathartic, okay? For men, it's exhausting. And for us, we like to unplug, and we like to watch or see somebody else do something hard. That's what sports is, right? Or a movie. Like, we. We, for us, we either want to do hard things or watch other people do hard things. That's like men in a nutshell, okay? We either want to be the ones doing the hard thing, like mowing the lawn or chopping down a tree, right? Or we want to watch other people do hard things, okay? For women, they're like, well, let's talk for 45 minutes. And that's not. There's nothing wrong about that. Emotionality is a beautiful thing. This is why we are not AI Right. We're not chatgpt. We have a soul, right? And God made us different for a reason. And on. And I want to. I just want to brag on the women of America because there's a lot of bashing of, like, feminism. And there should be. There's a lot of bashing of women in the country of, like, how they veered off track, some of which, honestly, is warranted. But the one thing that is not talked about enough is how women have kept church attendance and the faith alive in the west in a much better job than men. The last third. No, it's a very real thing. This is why Mother's Day church service is one of the highest attendance of the year besides Easter and Christmas. Why? What do you want for Mother's Day, honey? I want to bring the entire family to church. Yeah, what do you want for Father's Day, honey? I don't know. Golf or watch. Golf. Remember, do hard things. Watch people do hard things. They don't want to go to church. By the way. Let me just say, for men out there that are listening in the Internet, if you do not lead your family to church, it is the number one predictor that your children will not also go to church. But it deserves so women, you deserve so much credit for keeping church attendance alive, for serving in the churches, for volunteering in the churches, for keeping the entire faith robust. And now we're seeing a resurgence of young men finally come back. That's something I don't think that's always articulated of how the American church has really been saved and strengthened by women in America. Final thoughts.

[Karen Duddleston]

So something that he does to pour into me emotionally is, or to just check in from that standpoint is if he comes home, he's tired, how's your day? Great. Blah, blah, blah, and I'm still cooking whatever. On this, on his Sabbath, when he has a moment, he writes me a note. He has not missed one. He writes me a note either leaves it on my pillow, hands it to me. I have saved every single one of them. And those notes are what refill me emotionally if I need that filling. He's very good about that. So when you're in a relationship, how it's important to know your spouse's nature. It's also important to know your own. What do you want him to do to help pour into your emotional side? What is something that makes you tick and your heart tick? Do you want him to write you a note? Do you want him to tell you you're beautiful? Do you want him to take you on a date? Do you want him to bring you flowers? Do you hate flowers? Do you want a cake like you learn what will speak to you so that you can check that box in your head. Even on a day where he says five words, but he brought you flowers and you're like, wow, I feel loved. I get it. Just like, be sure to communicate that though he can't read your brain it's the famous thing of where do you want to go eat for dinner? I don't care. We'll go to Chipotle. I don't want Chipotle. Like you need to be able to know your own nature to tell your husband, not train him. But as a team, this is what I want. This is what I expect. I love you so much. Please. This is how you can pour into me. How can I pour into you? Charlie and I check in with each other every single day. How can I serve you better? What can I do for you to make it better when you get home? Is there anything that you need me to have ready for you when you come back from the office or this trip? Xyz he asked me the same thing. If I'm out doing something or even if I'm out with the kids, what can I do? How can I make your day better? You are a team and you guys are not at ends with each other. Work together, communicate and grow together as equally yoked partnership.

[Erica Kirk]

It's beautiful and thank you for that. I want to plug one thing and then I will say one last thing to the whole audience and thank you. We have. I want all of you to start a Turning Point USA chapter at your high school or college. Who's here at Turning Point USA chapter leader, raise your hand. We need more of you to go start Turning Point USA chapters. You could do so out there. There's amazing giveaways associated. The final I'll say two final things and then. Erica, do you have any final thoughts before I get to my two final things? I. I'll go quick while you think about it. The first of which is we're going to have a whole Q and A for politics or whatever you want tomorrow or more relationship stuff if you want. Do not talk down to men. Do not engage in this toxic masc masculinity bashing of men. Not only do we need men, the civilization is God created man and women. And it's very tempting to get into the whole kind of girl dominant society. You do not want to live in that world. I'm telling you right now, you do not. You want to live in a world where the best of both sexes are equally balanced. The other thing I'll say which is this kind of funnier. It's hard to put into words how much men want a just like a return to normal things like cooking a meal, like serving in like those fundamental ways like that stuff as a husband or even a boyfriend goes beyond measure than I can put into words and make it fun.

[Karen Duddleston]

Be like, what do you want to eat? And then like have them make a menu and then it's a good challenge for you. So like I cooked swordfish the other night. It was okay. Wasn't my best, but like great. But that goes to say, just make things fun. Don't again, don't look at it as I have to. I get to serve my husband. I get to submit unto my husband because he's submitting himself to the Lord. There is a balance and there's something really beautiful about that balance. If you have a situation where you don't have someone in your life that you can look towards as a healthy marriage, find, seek that out. Whether that's in your church, whether that's in your community, whether that's something online. Hold on to that so that you can have something, some form of an understanding of. Okay, this is what I have to look forward to. I'm so excited. And God will make sure that the right man will come in your path. He won't walk past you. He won't miss you. God is always on time and so is your future husband. So just wait on the Lord and you'll get everything that you've prayed for and more stuff that you prayed for that you thought you needed. You'll get way beyond that because God knows truly the desires of your your heart.

[Erica Kirk]

If you see anybody that looks lonely, go introduce yourself totally. Make sure you counsel them and make a friend out of them. We want people to leave friends for a lifetime here and we are just getting started. The next couple days are gonna be life changing. God bless you all. Thank you so much.

[Charlie Kirk]

Thanks so much for listening everybody. Email us. As always, freedom charliekirk.com thanks so much for listening and God bless.

[Erica Kirk]

For more on many of these stories and news you can Trust, go to charliekirk.com.