Charlie and Erika's AMA on Marriage

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Charlie Kirk Show

Episode: Charlie and Erika’s AMA on Marriage

Host: Charlie Kirk
Guest: Erika Kirk
Date: May 9, 2026

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Overview

In this special "Ask Me Anything" (AMA) episode, Charlie Kirk is joined by his wife, Erika, for an open and candid discussion about marriage, family, and faith. Responding to listener questions, the couple explores the dynamics of conservative Christian marriage, navigating gender roles, dealing with public scrutiny, the role of faith in relationships, parenting, and the impact of modern dating culture—including dating apps. With humor, honesty, and a direct style, they share personal anecdotes and practical advice aimed at young couples and singles hoping to build strong families.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How They Met & Deciding to Marry

Timestamps: [02:05 – 02:49]

• Married since 2021, engaged in 2020.
• Dates are "messed up because of babies" and so many anniversaries to remember.
• On knowing when it was time:
  Erika: “You just know. Don’t waste your time.” [02:39]
  Charlie: “We were ready to start our life together.” [02:44]

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2. Conservatism in the Marriage

Timestamps: [02:53 – 04:01]

• Who is more conservative?
  Charlie: “Erika. By far. Not even close. I am a moderate compared to Erika.” [03:00]
• Erika’s upbringing influenced her views:
  Erika: “My grandfather was an immigrant from Sweden and fought in World War II and the Korean War. He got the Silver Star, the Bronze Star and was knighted by the King of Sweden. And he was always super far right.” [03:23]
• Having kids increased her conservatism:
  Erika: “100%. Which I didn’t think was possible, but 100%, absolutely.” [03:42]

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3. Women, Motherhood, and Political Leanings

Timestamps: [04:03 – 04:53]

• Charlie questions if women without kids are more likely to be liberal.
  Erika: “I have friends who are still not married and don’t have kids and they’re conservative… But traditionally, the women who don’t have kids are more left leaning because they choose not to have kids, that’s a whole different topic.” [04:06]
• Importance of understanding biblical roles when getting married.

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4. Qualities to Seek in a Spouse & Dating Apps

Timestamps: [05:01 – 07:19]

• Erika urges women:
  Erika: “Is he going to lead you closer to Christ or further away? Make sure you’re equally yoked.” [05:09]
• Caution with dating apps:
  Erika: “The guy didn’t have to hunt for them… it’s just a number in their head.” [06:03]
  “It’s like the lottery… the likelihood of you finding your future husband or wife on an app is a lot less likely.”
• For men:
  Charlie: “Women should look for men that have self control and men should look for women that are willing to submit, which is basically a non-feminist woman.” [06:33]

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5. The Topic of Submission

Timestamps: [07:24 – 11:35]

• Erika on biblical submission:
  Erika: “My biblical role is to be the helpmate to my husband. That does not mean I’m less than you… Thank goodness. I love that you lead our home.” [07:24]
  “Submission’s a beautiful word… It’s supposed to be liberating. It’s supposed to be freeing. You are in charge of what you’re in charge of. Your husband’s in charge of what he’s in charge of.” [08:53]
• Addressing abuse: Erika clarifies that biblical submission excludes abusive dynamics.
• Feminism’s impact:
  Erika: “Women… think it makes them lesser… which makes them feel like they don’t have the choice or the voice… but that’s the exact opposite. When you’re in a biblical marriage, you are supported and you’re loved and your viewpoint is just as important. But yeah, you have to let your husband lead.” [11:15]

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6. Dealing with Hate and Public Scrutiny

Timestamps: [15:14 – 16:46]

• Erika admits to losing friends and family because of public activism but values her “small mighty circle.”
• Erika: “Anytime I do get, quote, unquote hate, it’s the same stuff you get… but I actually am kind of grateful… God has pruned my life…” [15:33]
• Charlie: “If you are out there and you aren’t getting a lot of hate, then what are you doing?” [16:32]

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7. Modern Dating, Apps, and Gender Dynamics

Timestamps: [16:54 – 20:29]

• Women are “notoriously pickier than men,” leading to overall female frustration in the dating pool.
• Erika jokes: “They have a CVS receipt length checklist of what they want.” [17:32]
• Charlie humorously references niche dating sites (Christian Mingle, farmersonly.com):
  “You have to show a video of yourself throwing hay around.” [19:20]
• Both agree: prioritizing finding a spouse makes it more likely, and caring for yourself is important for women, while men should “figure out ways to make more money.” [20:16]
• On college debt: “Shouldn’t have gone to college because college is a scam.” [20:53]
• Charlie: “It’s easy to not be poor. If you are a man, you have to make a decision, a conscious choice to not have a poverty mindset.” [20:29]

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8. Memories and Parenting Milestones

Timestamps: [21:04 – 22:09]

• Favorite pre-kids memory: Going to Israel together; Erika prayed for her husband while there before meeting Charlie.
• Favorite post-kids memories: Family trips to Maine, Jackson Hole, milestones such as birthdays and dance classes.

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9. Preparing for Marriage and Family

Timestamps: [24:26 – 29:15]

• Advice for young couples:
  Erika: “Always remember to put your spouse first.” [25:01]
  Charlie: “Get premarital counseling… Save money.” [25:01]
• Use wedding gifts/money for practical support (e.g., overnight help with babies) instead of items.
• Charlie: “The man has to start earning enough money where the wife or the mom does not have to work, and if the man is incapable of doing that, well, then figure it out. Become a man.” [26:01]
• Erika: “Don’t get so hyper fixated on the birth process… leave room for God’s will.” [26:22]
• Couples should address personal issues (gossip, addiction, spending) before starting a family.
• Erika urges wives: “Do not gossip to friends about their husband… You're on the same team.” [27:36]
• On order of priority: "God first, then marriage, then kids." [29:25]

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10. Happiness and Gender Roles

Timestamps: [29:35 – 30:55]

• Married women with kids are the happiest.
• Erika: “You can have a career after children, but if you try to have a career while you have your kids, there is no such thing as balance…you have to choose where your heart has to be fully with the home.” [29:44]

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11. Finances in Marriage

Timestamps: [32:14 – 39:00]

• Charlie: “Men, you should be completely in charge of finances.”
• Erika: “To be able to relinquish that to you is so liberating. And I can focus on other things that are way more important because that’s your domain and I don’t have to worry about it.” [32:36]
• If a man is “horrible at money”, Charlie’s advice is firm: don’t marry him.
  “If you're not capable of providing for a wife or a family, then you should take some time before you get married... you gotta get disciplined.” [38:41]
• Financial issues, according to Charlie, are a leading cause of divorce and cheating.

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12. Waiting for a Spouse: Advice for Singles

Timestamps: [40:13 – 42:17]

• Erika: “Don’t have sex before you get married… be intentional about growing down before you grow up and out. Make sure your heart is rooted in Christ.” [40:24]
• Practical: take care of your health, appearance, and attitude; be grateful; focus on preparation rather than comparison.

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13. Homeschooling and Education

Timestamps: [42:22 – 43:43]

• The Kirks plan to homeschool their children, especially in the early years, for both educational and safety reasons.
• Erika: “I was horrified, thinking I am horrible at math and geometry, but I’m excited…you get to relearn everything all over again…”
• Charlie encourages all parents to homeschool if possible or try pod schooling.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Marriage and Readiness:
  Erika: “Don’t waste your time. And plus, we are ready to start our life together.” [02:44]
• On Submission:
  Erika: “Marriage in the right context is so beautiful because your husband will give up anything and everything for you… They will literally love you and honor you and cherish you above all and put all the noise aside and focus on wife, children, family.” [06:55]
• On Haters:
  Erika: “Bring it on. I’ll have a velvet steel spine by the end of my life.” [16:17]
• On Gender Roles & Finances:
  Charlie: “Men, you should be completely in charge of finances.” [32:27]
  Erika: “To relinquish that role… is so liberating.” [32:36]
• On Modern Dating:
  Erika: “They have a CVS receipt length checklist of what they want.” [17:32]
• On Priorities in Family:
  Charlie: “God first, then marriage, then kids.” [29:25]

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Structure & Flow

• The episode alternates between answering submitted questions and rich personal storytelling, with both Charlie and Erika offering a blend of ideological conviction and lighthearted banter.
• Erika’s perspective blends vulnerability and strength; Charlie’s is directive and uncompromising.

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Conclusion

This episode is both a primer on Christian conservative views on marriage and family and a window into the Kirk family’s domestic life and values. The couple offers clear-cut advice, strong opinions on gender roles, finances, and dating, and encourages listeners to build lives rooted in faith, intentional relationships, and traditional family structures.

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Note: Timestamps refer to approximate section starts in the provided transcript. Non-content segments (ads, promotions) have been excluded as per request.

Transcript

[A]

My name is Charlie Kirk. I run the largest pro American student organization in the country, fighting for the future of our republic. My call is to fight evil and to proclaim truth. If the most important thing for you is just feeling good, you're gonna end up miserable. But if the most important thing is doing good, you will end up purposeful. College is a scam, everybody. You gotta stop sending your kids to college. You should get married as young as possible and have as many kids as possible. Go start a Point USA College chapter. Go start a Turning Point USA High School chapter. Go find out how your church can get involved. Sign up and become an activist. I gave my life to the Lord in fifth grade. Most important decision I ever made in my life. And I encourage you to do the same. Here I am, Lord. Use me. Buckle up, everybody. Here we go. Noble Gold Investments is the official gold sponsor of the Charlie Kirk Show, a company that specializes in gold IRAs and physical delivery of precious metals. Learn how you could protect your wealth with Noble gold investments@noblegold investments.com. that is noblegoldinvestments.com hello, everyone. Very special, our episode for you today. My wife joins us. Erica Kirk, the beautiful, legendary Erica.

[B]

I love you so much. Much.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

You're my best friend.

[A]

Welcome to the Charlie Kirk Show.

[B]

Thanks, babe. I'm stoked.

[A]

So we good to be back.

[B]

It's been a while.

[A]

We have asked the audience for questions.

[B]

Yes, they had. They came up with some great ones.

[A]

Well, there were some not so great ones too, that Daisy had too. There are some X rated ones too, weren't there, Daisy? Yeah, we. Yeah. Not good. Not. Not radio appropriate. Not appropriate for anybody. I don't know. All right, so we are taking your questions and hopefully we'll be able to answer any thoughts that you have.

[B]

Great. Do you want to take the. You choose the first one. I'll pepper in the next one.

[A]

All right.

[B]

There's a few of them.

[A]

Well, this one's easy. How long have you been married and when did you know it was time to get married?

[B]

We've been married since 2021. Engaged. 2020.

[A]

So it'll be four years.

[B]

Four years. We laugh about this because our dates are so messed up because of babies. Meaning. There's so many dates to remember. Mm.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I get all the anniversary anniversaries, like kids, birth birthdays.

[A]

May 14th.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, August 23rd.

[B]

How did we. So we've been married for.

[A]

How did you know it was time to get married?

[B]

I mean, almost four years in May.

[A]

Proposed and she said yes.

[B]

How did we know? We just. You just know.

[A]

It's also what? Don't waste your time. Right.

[B]

Don't waste your time. And plus, we are ready to start our life together.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Okay, that was an easy one.

[A]

That's easy.

[B]

You pick one who is more conservative and why?

[A]

Erica.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

By far. Not even close. I am a moderate compared to Erica.

[B]

Andrew always jokes that once you got married to me you got more based.

[A]

That's true. That is true. No, Erica is very conservative and yeah,

[B]

I was raised well.

[A]

Yes, you have a great mom.

[B]

Great mom.

[A]

Great parents.

[B]

My grandparents were amazing.

[A]

Fiercely right wing.

[B]

Yes. My grandfather was an immigrant from Sweden and fought in World War II and the Korean War. Yeah. And he got the Silver Star, the Bronze Star and knighted by the King of Sweden. And he was always super far right.

[A]

Do you think having kids made you more conservative?

[B]

100%. Which I didn't think was possible, but 100%, absolutely.

[A]

And do you.

[B]

And a better wife. And a better wife.

[A]

Do you think that a lot of the fact that kid. That young women are liberals because they don't have kids, usually typically young women

[B]

are liberals because they don't have kids.

[A]

I'm asking. Yeah.

[B]

No, I wouldn't say that because I have some friends who are still not married and don't have kids and they're conservative and they're finding it hard to find a mate. But if you're saying traditionally speaking like the women who don't have kids are more left leaning because they choose not to have kids, that's a whole different topic. Whole different topic.

[A]

They consider kids to being a nuisance, a burden.

[B]

A burden. A nuisance. But no, it's me and. But also too. You have to understand. And that also goes back to how did you know it was time to get married? Understanding your biblical role as a wife and a mother and knowing that you're ready to step into that motherhood, that being a wife and that type of era of your life, if you will.

[A]

So here's a good one. What traits should conservative women be looking for in men and vice versa?

[B]

Ooh, I know one of the questions deals with. Do you want to. I was going to go off one of the questions that talked about the apps, but I think women for looking for their future spouse needs to hone in on the fact is he going to lead you closer to Christ or further away? Make sure you're equally yoked. That's so important. Make sure that you are not looking for a man who or you know, the men that are just, they're grabbing the low hanging fruit, meaning on the apps, women get upset when they go on a date with a guy they found on the app and all of a sudden they ghost them or all of a sudden they're just not communicating with them anymore. To me, it's because the guy didn't have to hunt for them. Not saying they have to hunt for a woman, but they do have to seek out a wife. And since they didn't have to, they made it so easy on an app to just press a button.

[A]

It.

[B]

It's just a number in their head. Like you want to be so much more than. I'm not saying apps are bad. I mean, they're not the greatest thing. I've had friends who did find their significant other on an app, but the likelihood, it's like the lottery. The likelihood of you finding your future husband or wife on an app is a lot less likely to happen. So that to say, I'm so blessed, it's so hard because I literally won the jackpot with my husband.

[A]

Vice versa, that's really hard. I will say women should look for men that have self control and men should look for women that are willing to submit, which is basically a non feminist woman.

[B]

Right? But the whole topic of submission becomes. That word really lights people on fire.

[A]

It's biblical.

[B]

I know, it's beautiful. Marriage in the right context is so beautiful because your husband will give up anything and everything for you in a healthy manner, but they will literally love you and honor you and cherish you above all and put all the noise aside and focus on wife, children, family.

[A]

Daisy says there were quite a number of questions on submission, so we can dive more into that.

[B]

Okay. For me as a wife, my biblical role is to be the helpmate to my husband. That does not mean I'm less than you. That does not mean that I am above you. Thank goodness. I love that you lead our home. I love that you are such a. You are so intentional with your faith and you are so intentional with just how you are as a father and a husband. But as a wife, I am, to quote, unquote, submit to you. Which is a beautiful word, by the way, because that's the order of how it's supposed to go. And God will bless that I am not to try and rival you. We're on the same team. We complement each other. The body. An eye is supposed to be an eye to see. It's not. You can't expect an ear to see. There's Certain things within the body that operate how it's supposed to be similar to marriage. I am the wife, I am in charge of certain things. Guardian of the home, helping with the children, help that is so I can make it easy for my husband to do what he needs to do. There's a balance there. It's not. And then you get into the people who are saying, well, my husband's abusive. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the beautiful, beautiful sacred marriage of when you are at the altar, you become one with your spouse. And the problem is, is that I feel as if some women, after they have children, they lose that fire that they got at the altar, that fiery spirit of this is the man I've been praying for. And they, they get burned out because of the kids or because of circumstances. And then it's like, oh, submitting to my husband, that sounds exhausting. It's supposed to be liberating. It's supposed to be freeing. You are in charge of what you're in charge of. Your husband's in charge of what he's in charge of. And it's supposed to be a beautiful marriage of a teamwork and symbolic within biblical marriage and symbolic within how. How God and Jesus and, and everything. Just your whole faith is supposed to operate. So submission's a beautiful.

[A]

Yeah, it says, submit as Christ submitted that. Submit to your husbands. As I have to look at the exact verse. Well, husbands, yeah, yeah, Husbands submit to God.

[B]

Ephesians 5.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I've never found obviously any problem with it, but do you think that most, that most women struggle with it? Here it is.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. This submits that both husband and wives are called to serve and prioritize each other's needs. Do you think that most women struggle with it because of a kind of feminist mentality that has seeped in?

[B]

Yeah, because I feel as if Christianity in itself has become semi feminized from the standpoint of. I know we've talked about this before. You know, the Pinterest Christianity with the little flowers all over the beautiful scripted font and like making the Bible feminine. And it's, it's not, it's a beautiful, beautiful. Not even a story. I mean, it is a story, but it's a beautiful book on how to live your life. And it, and it has nothing to do with being feminine or being masculine. It's all about Jesus. It's all about God. It always leads you back to God and always leads you back to how you're supposed to live your life biblically. But yeah, women I think are offended by that because they feel as if it makes them lesser than they are, which it makes them feel like they don't have the choice or the voice that they need to have in order to be quote unquote liberated. But that's the exact opposite. When you're in a biblical marriage, you are supported and you're loved and your viewpoint is just as important. But yeah, you have to let your husband lead.

[C]

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[A]

Do you hear a lot of struggle with that? That topic of submission from. From women you talk to?

[B]

Yes and no. Yes. From the women who are not strong Christians who are just more of in the world trying to figure out and navigate their marriage based on that standpoint. But I think it goes back to what you were saying. The men need to be prepared to take on that role. That's not A light role to, to carry being the leader of the home. So I think what happens is men who aren't prepared for that season of life, they leave the metaphorical pants on the ground. And so the women come in and put those pants on because they feel like I have to be this role, I have to play this role and I need to be the provider or I need to. And also too, I think mom guilt falls into it too, of like I'm not providing for my family. If they worked in the workforce prior and now they're a stay at home mom, which is a huge blessing to, to have that opportunity to raise your babies like that. I think that they feel as if they're comparing their season to other people's. And so that's where I think, you know, you get the moms and wives that are not wanting to submit. But I think the husband needs to always be in a position of understanding his biblical role as well for that to all, you know, mesh together. And even, even if, even if the husband understands it and reminds his wife or the wife reminds the husband, like let's pray together, let's recenter our relationship and marriage to make it healthy and Christ centered.

[A]

It's important you pick one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I could also talk about more of what women should be looking for and, or men should be looking for in women, but we kind of talked about that though.

[B]

Yeah, I know. What, yeah. What traits are conservative?

[A]

This is one from that someone just emailed us in freedom. Charliekirk.com oh really? Erica, do you ever get hate from Charlie's work? How do you handle it? Charlie, do you ever feel guilt or do you ever deal with guilt when Erica gets hate? No, I don't.

[B]

I honestly, this is so, I got, I, this is how I know God made us for each other. Because anytime I do get, quote, unquote hate, it's the same stuff you get. Like, I don't even want to say, it's not even worth saying it or repeating the things that were called or the names that were called. But yes, I do. I've lost family members, I've lost friends, but I actually am kind of grateful that that's happened because God has pruned my life in a way where I am surrounded in a circle now by people who love us, support us, pray with, encourage us, small mighty circle. And that's what I would much rather have, a small mighty circle than a massive one. It's the people that you know that you can trust and pour into. And yes, do I get hate Bring it on.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I'll have a velvet steel spine by the end of end of my life. So bring it on. I have nothing to fear.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, look, we get a lot of hate, we get a lot of death threats, but just part of life, it makes you stronger.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And honestly, if you are out there and you aren't getting a lot of hate, then what are you doing? Well, yes, Satan's not, you're not doing anything that's being boring. You're probably honestly doing the bidding of the enemy. Right?

[B]

No, it's true.

[A]

Okay, let's see. Emails, freedom. Charliekirk.com Lots of questions coming in from you guys. You want to do the dating app thing?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I kind of touched on it. I. Yes and no. I used to have stronger ones, but I don't think as many people are

[A]

on them anymore than like dating apps and like dating services. Are those two different?

[B]

I hear dating services are awful. I hear that the ones that are

[A]

very pro, like dating apps and services. He always was. I mean, his thought is more options the better.

[B]

Yeah, but how lazy does that make the man to be able to be? They're presented a binder of women and

[A]

they're like, like a Mitt Romney binder full of woman.

[B]

Do you want a brunette? Okay, let's go down this manila folder.

[A]

Women are, are becoming notoriously pickier than men though, right? It's a big problem.

[B]

They have a CVS receipt length checklist of what they want.

[A]

There is a growing theme that women, if women are actually grading, they say they're unhappier with the dating pool right now than men.

[B]

I could see that.

[A]

They say, and part of it, by the way, is incredibly superficial.

[B]

But are men unhappy with the dating pool?

[A]

Not as unhappy as women.

[B]

I think. Women, you know what's interesting, somewhat superficially

[A]

say that men aren't attractive.

[B]

I know, but I'm thinking about all of the way how we grew up, of how romanticized they made finding your, your future spouse. Like you're going to be so in love, you're going to be swept up and these flowers are going to be flying around you and you're going to be so like butterflies in your stomach. And so I feel as if when people don't feel that immediately they're like, oh, this person's not the right one. Or they're just, I don't know, I think they're caught up in what they're supposed to. That just.

[A]

Is there like a. There like a Christian Tinder? Does that exist I don't know.

[B]

You have an ad for it.

[A]

It's like a matchmaking service, I think.

[B]

I don't know if there's a Christian Tinder, but match matchmaking services, I heard, are not.

[A]

No. Good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, it's called Christian Mingle. I don't think they're a sponsor of our thing. Right.

[B]

No.

[A]

Isn't there, like, farmers connect to.

[B]

For farmers?

[A]

Yeah, no, I think there's, like a far. There's like, Mormon Mingle, too.

[B]

There's Mormon Mingle.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, there's definitely. Yeah, Dallin probably knows all about it. Not anymore. Yeah, I was gonna say not Terrell and the gang probably know all about it.

[B]

Mormon Mingle.

[A]

I think there's Mormon Mingle. Yeah, there's also. Yeah, it's farmersonly.com. that's a thing.

[B]

So you. How do they check to make sure? I guess you have to submit that you have a farm.

[A]

You have to show a video of yourself throwing hay around.

[B]

Are you serious?

[A]

I don't know. It says single in the country, question mark. Oh, yeah. There's no way this is ever abused.

[B]

I wonder if, like, a woman is like, you know what? I want that farm life. And so she gets some chickens in the backyard and then shows herself cultivating her. Her many.

[A]

No, I think there definitely is Mormon Mingle. There's something of that variety.

[B]

Okay. But apps for seating service. I just. You know what? Ask your local pastor. I'm.

[A]

What you prioritize is what you get.

[B]

Right. I'm looking for my future spouse.

[A]

If you prioritize trying to find a spouse, you're much higher likelihood to find one.

[B]

But as women, you need to take care of yourself in order to. You can't be looking like Adam Sandler and expect that you're going to.

[A]

And men just figure out ways to make more money. I don't want to say it's not that hard, but if you work hard and apply yourself and obsess, you can make more money and you will be more.

[B]

But like you say, stop spending money on alcohol, stop playing video games, invest

[A]

in yourself, learn more. You know, be scrappier for a. I don't want to say it's easy because it's not necessarily easy, but it's easy to not be poor. If you were a man, that's. You have to make a decision, a conscious choice to not have a poverty mindset.

[B]

But what about school debt?

[A]

They should have gone to college because

[B]

college is a scam.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, look, I just. Men will find a greater pool of women if they increase their income.

[B]

Right. What's your favorite memory? Pre kids. Post kids.

[A]

Going to Israel, definitely.

[B]

That was amazing. I loved that. Being able to walk. Yeah. Because, you know, when. Before I met you, when I last was, when I went previously was with my mom on a pilgrimage and the whole time I was there, I was praying for my future husband. Didn't know it was you. And we were both in Israel at the same time, but anytime I could find a place to put a little piece of paper of a prayer in a hole in a wall, that was me. And that was. That was me praying for you. And that and then I got to go back with you was surreal.

[A]

How about post Kids? I'd say Maine was pretty great. Jackson Hole was great.

[B]

That one's tough. Post kids, because every milestone with the kids is so special. Birthdays, seeing Gigi at dance class. Just little things like that. She did the Trump dance, by the way. I don't even know if I told you that in dance class yesterday.

[D]

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[A]

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[D]

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[A]

That's strongcell.com Charlie and don't forget to use special discount code Charlie at checkout to get a special 20% off just for Kirk listeners. StrongCell.com Charlie check it out right now. We have lots of questions. Email us freedom charliekirk.com how would you tell young married couples who are going to start having families to prepare ready their marriage for the changes that come with it?

[B]

That's a great question. Okay. First and foremost, always remember to put your spouse first.

[A]

Get premarital counseling.

[B]

Premarital counseling. Put your spouse first.

[A]

Save money.

[B]

Save money. Oh, instead of investing in a bunch of clothes that they'll grow out of really quickly, they should put, have a, you know how people do honeymoon funds?

[A]

Well, these are young married couples. Got it. Not single ones. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Oh, no. That's good. So instead of doing, you know, how they do the honeymoon fund, they should do a fund where it's overnight help if they don't have a family member to help them.

[A]

I totally agree. I think that wedding directories, there's so much money wasted.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Like, oh, I want a blender, I want a knife.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And my experience, most people don't even use all that stuff. No, it should just be give us money. Just give, give, give us money. And it will be honeymoon fund or.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Save money fund. We did a honeymoon fund and it was great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was special. It was totally special because those memories

[B]

are way more important than.

[A]

So how would you tell young married couples who are going to start having families to prepare ready their Marriage for the changes that come with it. Yeah, look, the man has to, I mean, I'll be very honest. The man has to start earning enough money where the wife or the mom does not have to work. And if the man is incapable of doing that, well, then figure it out. Become a man.

[B]

Right. More tangible side for a female perspective. Make sure that you don't get so hyper fixated on the birth process once you're about to have a child. Like, don't be so fixated and obsessed with, I am going to have a child on my couch, in my living room, free birth, no drugs, and then leave no room for God's will if that totally does not happen. Because I know we had a birth plan and the only thing that went to plan on that birth plan was that we had a child.

[A]

That's right. Everything else, we had a great.

[B]

Out the window.

[A]

We had a great ob. May he rest in peace. Terrible story.

[B]

That's so sad.

[A]

So what young married couples, look, keep your faith obviously first and try to identify any fleshly problems that you might be having it having. So if the wife might have a gossip problem or a spending money problem, or the husband might have an alcohol problem or a pornography problem or a drug problem. Don't welcome kids into the world. I shouldn't say you should always welcome kids in the world, but try to get those things settled before you entered

[B]

kids in the world. I think before we go to that next question, I think it's because you mentioned gossip. I think it's really important that women do not, do not gossip to their friends about their husband. Because first of all, friends can be very unforgiving when it comes to certain things with husband. But what you talk about with your spouse behind closed doors needs to stay there. Goes through one ear and literally ends at the other ear. And you do not share it, you do not repeat it. You have to continually invest in the confidence in one another that you're on the same team. You support each other, you love each other. You're not going to undercut each other. You're not going to, you are not going to sabotage one another unknowingly because you're trying to impress a friend that you have a husband that does xyz. And wives do not compare your husband to other women's husbands. Like Hank does XYZ so well with a hammer. Well, my husband doesn't do that. Like, do what your husband's good at someone else's husband might not be good at. So just like love your husband. Love, love him so much that. And understand and hold in your heart that God has put you guys together for a reason. To have a beautiful family and children are a blessing from the Lord. And don't forget your husband in the process. And don't forget your husband in the chaos of having kids. Now we can go to the next question.

[A]

No, I totally agree. What is the next. Daisy, I think, sent it.

[B]

What should be the order when it comes to God, kids, and marriage and why? I just kind of.

[A]

Well, it's God first, then marriage, then kids.

[B]

It is. You get to choose the next one. These are great questions.

[A]

The study shows that married women with kids are the happiest. Why do you think that is? I mean, it's just nature. I mean, just becoming a CEO of a shoe company is not going to give you happiness.

[B]

Women have it so mixed up. You can have. You can have a career after children, but if you try to have a career while you have your kids, you. There is no such thing as balance. That is such a myth. Gigi gets those little Montessori toys every month. And there's this one that has the buckets that balance. If I put something in one of those buckets, it's gonna drop down. And if I try to balance them, but both buckets are filled, which is not realistic. I can't spend half of the day doing one thing. I missed out half of that time with being with the kids. So, like, you have to choose where your heart has to be fully with the home. You have to make that decision on your own. But you can always. After your kids are in school or after they're in high school, you can always go back to work. You can always find a way to get back into the workforce. But if you miss those precious first few years, that is so hard to make up because memories are so much more important than an added paycheck. I just.

[A]

I. Look, it's how God has wired us, and it's our nature, which is to have children, not just have a bigger bank account. Next question. What means the most to Charlie coming home from the battlefield? What means most to Erica when Charlie is at home? I'm not quite sure I understand the question.

[B]

I understand the question. Charlie will text me and say, keep things boring.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because for the past several days, things were not boring.

[A]

Hospital visit.

[B]

So anyways, yeah, Keep things boring so that he can be on the battlefield and not be mortified when he comes home.

[A]

I love coming home. It's the best thing. But. But I have to go out and fight.

[B]

I know, it's so cute. Gigi loves blueberries. And so every time he leaves, she's so sad. And he's like, honey, baby, I gotta go. Cause I gotta. I have to afford your blueberry budget.

[A]

She gets it.

[B]

She totally gets it. She understands it. Cause then when we're FaceTiming Daddy, she'll look at daddy and be like, dada working. I'm like, he is. And she's like, to. For blueberries. Yes.

[A]

So she's connecting that. Blueberries just don't come from.

[B]

They're not just from the heavens.

[A]

Manna from heaven.

[B]

Right? They don't fall into the kitchen.

[A]

They don't just come ex nihilo.

[B]

No, they sure don't.

[A]

Not at all. This is a good one. How much did you guys discuss? Religion, finances, politics, how to raise children before getting engaged. If I could just chime in on one of them. Men, you should be completely in charge of finances.

[B]

I totally agree.

[A]

And your wife should have nothing to do with it. I'm. I mean, they can have input, but you should release that burden from your wife and just take care of all the money.

[B]

I have to say, having to provide for my. Just as myself as a woman, having to provide for yourself, especially because when I was living in New York City, it all fell on me. It's exhausting. I love the fact that I can relinquish that role to my husband because he's so good at it, but relinquish it to him and say, I, I trust you so much. I know you're going to help provide for our family. That is one less thing I have to not deal with. I've watched my mom have to deal with that while she had her own business. And she was my mom and dad in one package because my parents got divorced when I was really young. But to be able to relinquish that to you is so liberating. And I can focus on other things that are way more important because that's your domain and I don't have to worry about it.

[A]

And if you are marrying a man that is not capable of completely and totally handing the finances that you should not marry that man, it will. Finances will break a marriage quicker than anything else, Period.

[C]

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[A]

That.

[B]

But what if he checks all of the boxes? He just is horrible at money. And you're really good at money.

[A]

Doesn't matter. Okay, doesn't matter. I mean, then then all of a sudden you're talking about a reverse. I think then you're talking about very confused gender rules. Then, then are you going to be a stay at home dad? Is that basically what that is?

[B]

Okay, but then what about the women that are the ones that write the checks and do the bills?

[A]

Good luck. Yeah, I mean, it can work. I'm sure it has, but I see those marriages careening for divorce quicker than anything else. Here's why. We as men are hardwired to produce for the family. We find meaning. We find purpose. Tucker would talk about this all the time. He would, like, I have the worst day ever. But I'd know that today I'm paying for tuition. Like today my kids tuition are being paid for. I can't. And for men, we find great purpose in being able to come back home, being like, we provided for all of

[B]

this and like, this is my nest egg.

[A]

Yeah. And Daisy just said she has a stay at home friend who just went on a date and said the guy on the first date, he Wants to be a stay at home dad in the future. Yeah, he's probably gay. Daisy agrees. She says, I think he might be gay.

[B]

Yeah, I totally agree, but just went on a date. Why would the guy say he wants to be a state? I mean I. But can I just say, sounds like torture. Hold on. I do not want to knock the stay at home dads. I do not. There are some who had to temporary have to switch that role. That happened to my parents a long time ago. Granted again, they got a divorce, so that probably falls into your bucket.

[A]

But I am an anthropologist.

[B]

But my dad was a stay at home dad for a few years and I gotta say it was really sweet and really special. I was four. But that was.

[A]

Of course it's not an indictment of the morality.

[B]

No, but if you're saying from the get go, I want to be a

[A]

stay at home, it is a, it's an imbalance of nature. And some people are able to balance, are able to juggle imbalances of nature.

[B]

But your husband has to be the one that goes out into the world and builds and battles and comes home, conquers comes home. And it's like this is my nest egg. This is what I worked so hard for. And the wife is like, welcome home babe. Whatever you need.

[A]

Financial burdens should not be brought into the concern of the wife. It just, I just, it should.

[B]

Well then it bleeds into the kids and the kids are like, oh, I can't afford to do this.

[A]

Why am I being so firm on this? Because I know the number one reason why people cheat on their wives and why divorce happens is financial. It is number one. It is the number one thing. It start, it collapses and breaks apart marriages more than anything else. And so if you have a husband that leads in it, and it's not that I can, it comes easy to me. But guys don't borrow money. You just start with that principle. You're not going to have any credit card debt. Now you can use credit cards, just pay them off every month. And the only other debt that's acceptable is a mortgage payment. If you just start with that principle, you're going to be in a much better spot.

[B]

But how? What if the guy comes from nothing and doesn't know where to start?

[A]

Then he shouldn't be getting married then he's a boy. Boys should not get married.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

I love you too. But it's true. I mean, if you are not capable of providing for a wife or a family, then you should take some time before you get Married, you got to figure yourself out. You got to get a skill. You got to get disciplined. You have to get.

[B]

There's a season for everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I know that for some young girls out there, or even older women who are still looking for their human. A season of waiting is to encourage you to just continue to trust God's timing. And if you're in a season of pruning, that's probably because God's trying to refine you. And if you're in a season of fruitfulness, then enjoy that and embrace that.

[A]

I will add to that that men have a much longer horizon of waiting than women. And what men need to get equipped for actually might not be as natural. Women can make very good mothers with almost no training. It's just at 23, 24, women can make good mothers.

[B]

I don't know about that. That's hit or miss. Because some women will. They. They have to be equipped for it, too, and their hearts prepared for it, or else they're going to stick their kid in front of Cocomelon. Cuckoo. Melon. What is it? Coco Melon. What is it? Ms. Rachel? Oh, her voice kills me. Those shows for hours. But they have to be prepared for it, too. You have to. Again, equally yoked, right? Equally yoked.

[A]

Next question. How would you wait? Well, for a spouse?

[B]

First of all, this is more of like a health standpoint. Get your blood work done every six months.

[A]

Don't have sex before you get married.

[B]

Don't have sex before you get married. Really be intentional about growing down before you grow up and out. Meaning make sure that your heart is so rooted in Christ. Make sure that you're reading the Bible every single day. Make sure that you're in a position where you're living your life, that he has to seek God in order to even be able to touch the slightest bit of your heart. And make sure that you are taking good care of yourself. Again, don't dress well, don't try. You're not gonna attract someone if you're not looking your best. Not saying you have to look like you're on a red carpet every single day, but take care of yourself. If you can't afford to get your nails and hair done, that's fine. There's still ways to make yourself look like you care about. I'm not saying from a prideful standpoint, but take, take. Be grateful that God gave you the body he gave you. Be grateful that he. You're healthy. If you're not healthy, that you have doctors in your life to help get you there. Just constantly be grateful. There's always something to be grateful for. And just find a way to be able to get yourself in the proper mindset and headspace of knowing that you are so intentional about this time and you're in a, in a stream of significance rather than focusing on what everyone else has. And you are in a position where, when and if the man has sought you out and he's, he's. He will tell you, I am intentional about this. I'm not trying to beat around the bush. I want to. I want to date you and I want to marry you. When it's that type of guy, you will know and you'll be ready. You won't say, oh, I don't know about this, like, you will be prepared. Just take, Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself.

[A]

I agree. I think we have one more. You want to pick? Last one?

[B]

No, I want you to.

[A]

Okay. Oh. What do you think about schooling for kids? What are you planning on doing?

[B]

We will be homeschooling. Especially in the beginning. At first, I will be honest. At first I was horrified, thinking I am horrible at math and geometry, but I'm excited. To some extent, I'm excited. And this is why I think that women lose a portion of their brain capacity after every single kid. It's because then you, you get excited to homeschool your kids and you get to relearn everything all over again. And you're excited about learning about triangles and octagons and proper grammar all over again because you have that brain space to do it and you're excited. So we will be homeschooling. Plus, we want to travel with the kids. And plus, to be honest with you, I do not want to deal with kids going up to either of our children and being like, I hate you because of your father.

[A]

Eventually, once they get old enough, they'll. They'll get into school, right?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

6th, 7th, 8th grade maybe, but.

[B]

Right. Especially for sports.

[A]

We also travel a lot. But I encourage everyone. If you, if you can homeschool and if you can't homeschool, I want. I would love to know the reason why.

[B]

Or you can do pod schooling where you have a teacher come to your friend's house and you all kind of.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Share. Share a teacher.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I love you too. That was really short and quick, but we have more questions to go.

[A]

It was a full episode. Wow.

[B]

Time with you flies.

[A]

Email us freedomarliekirk.com Check out Bibleand365.com yeah,

[B]

read the Bible with us in a year.

[A]

Plug it.

[B]

This is our ninth year, I think, and so we read the Bible cover to cover. We do not miss a day. And it's a very special, unique community where you can get your Bible readings texted to you, emailed to you, or through the app. And we would love to be on that journey with you to read the entire Bible with you. 365 days, words of encouragement, whatever you need, we're there. We're real humans, not bots. So yeah.

[A]

Bible365.com I love you.

[B]

I love you baby.

[A]

God bless you guys. For more on many of these stories

[B]

and news you can Trust, go to charliekirk.com.