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We gather here tonight to bring women back to their rightful place. The Testaments, a new Hulu original series from the executive producers of the Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than believe that the people around you are monsters. The battle isn't over. There comes a time when you have to take action, when you have to choose your own destiny. Never quite as it seems. Watch the new Hulu original series, the Testaments, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
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Oh my gosh. Have you been to Marshall's lately? They have all the brand name and designer pieces you love, but without the jaw dropping price tags. Alright, so here's the truth. You should never have to compromise between quality and price. And at Marshalls, you don't have to. Marshalls believes everyone deserves access to the good stuff. And that's why their buyers hustle around the clock to make it happen for you. Visit a Marshalls store near you or shop online@marshalls.com I'm not.
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A
Okay, like I need about three margaritas right now and a Xanax but walking on a dream like we out here. We still here. I'm still here girl. Welcome to the Chisme Corner. I'm your host V. Rivera, your Latina amiga. And go to Chismosa for all the chisme that actually matters. Latina, motherhood, beauty, navigating life in your 30s and keeping our mental health in check. We're keeping it raw, relatable and a little spicy. We'll also be getting into some pop culture topics and all the reality show tea. I love me some tea. So get comfy because the Chisme starts now. Hello cheesmosas. Welcome back to the Cheese My corner. I hope you guys are having an amazing week. We are currently on spring break. So when you guys, when you guys hear this episode which is on Friday cuz we are now on Fridays. We are not a Wednesday podcast anymore. I was able to get it changed. I either wanted to get it changed to like Thursday or Friday. I just needed. I just needed a little bit more time throughout the week to get the episodes done and ready and edited and stuff. So we were able to get Friday and I'm super excited cuz I actually love Friday. Thursday and Friday are actually my favorite days of the week. Like cuz Thursday is like Friday junior and Friday is obviously Friday so it's the best. So yeah, that's a little update. Now you guys get to listen to the Cheeseman corner every Friday. I did announce it on the Instagram. If you are not following us on Instagram, it's the Cheeseman corner. But yeah, we're just over here enjoying our spring break. I got my little hair done. I got my hair braided. Honestly, I wasn't gonna do my hair at all. I had an appointment for Vivi and Ali, my niece. We've done the braids before when we went to Puerto Rico. They usually just do the two. Like, the two French braids, and they get it with the hair in, so they're able to, like, pick a color. And they. It looks so cute on them. But I really want to. I was thinking about Florida, and I really don't want to do my hair while I'm over there. And she does this really cute style. This is like the hair in the French braid style. So she does two French braids and then she does the hair in, but it's like, curly. So she leaves some pieces out that are curly. And I just. I love curly hair. Like, I think the only people I'm ever jealous of is people with curly hair. Like, I love. I love curly hair. Like, y' all don't know. Y' all don't know how cute curly hair is. Like, I know for you it's probably like, I hate it. Or it's a lot. Like, when we have something, we don't realize how much we actually, like, love it until someone else is like, I wish I had it. And that's how I feel with curly hair. Like, I wish I had curly hair. It just looks so cute. So this is my first time, like, having fake hair. Like, it's like a weave. Like, I got, like, a little weave in here, but I'm excited to, like, not have to touch my hair for a week. I've been. I don't know what it is. I just been, like, in a hair slump. Like, I haven't been thinking. I haven't been wanting to do any hairstyles. I haven't been. I just been in the slump, girl. So I was just like, let me just get this to see if I like it and then I'll do it again for Florida. And my sister loved it too, so now she wants to do her hair for Florida. Cuz we're just like, we don't want to have to deal with our hair and the humidity and all that. So I definitely was gonna have the girls have their hair done, but now we're gonna get ours done too. So I love it. If you guys are watching on the YouTube, you can see it. It's so cute. Like, it's just the most adorable hairstyle. I love it. So yeah, we just went today to do that. Yesterday we went to Washington D.C. we had a lot of fun. Bibi's never been to D.C. and she always was saying how she wanted to visit and we were trying to figure out what our week was going to look like because I'm already taking the kids to Great Wolf Lodge. So when you hear this, will be at Great Wolf. Wolf Lodge. We're leaving. We're going to be there Thursday, Friday. But we had nothing to do like Monday, Tuesday. And then Wednesday we had the appointment to get our hair done. So Joe was like, why don't we like, can we do something Tuesday? Like I really want to go to D.C. so I was like, all right, whatever. So he planned the whole thing and I'm glad we did. I'm glad that we ended up going. Cuz it was, it was actually so much fun. I love museum hopping. Like, I just love museums and we. I love art, I love paintings. Joe really loves sculptures and stuff. Like we just. I really enjoy art, like, like so much and just being able to share that with the kids and like seeing them just see new things. So we went to the Museum of Natural History. We went to the Museum, the Archives of the United States. Like, so we were able to see the Constitution and like the, like the original documents, the Bill of Rights and all that stuff. And it was so crazy. Like everything when we went into the room it was like so dim and dark because obviously you can't have any flash photography, like any light or any like, if it's not even in the right temperature, it can mess up the documents. So when you see them, they're like very light, like so faded. We just learned so much. And then the Museum of Natural History was like a lot of. We saw mummies and the dinosaurs and it just shows like how like how similar we are to animals, basically, so showing that. So we had a lot of fun. Like it was just. I feel like we were just learning new stuff all day and I don't know what it is, but I feel like I was just craving that. Like, I feel like we, we get so caught up in social media and like that's like kind of like brain rot. Like, I really feel like my brain is rotting away sometimes. Like I can only take so much reality TV and all and just like I don't. I feel like I'm just craving new information and new things. And this is. I've been like reading more and like, trying to stay away from scrolling on social media, just, you know, just to scroll. I just been. I just been wanting to, like, learn about new things. So when we hit up the museum, I feel like I was able to, like, get that satisfaction. Like, I was just like, okay, this is good. Like, this is definitely what I needed. So, yeah, I had a little itch for that. So I'm glad that we did that. And it was a lot of fun. We were there all day. We saw the Washington Monument. Where else did we go? We went to some other museum, too, but I forgot. I forgot the name. I forgot the name of it. But it had all these paintings and, like, paintings from Italy and all these sculptures and stuff. Like, it was so phenomenal. Like, sculptures made out of marble and paintings that were, like, huge. Like, we were like, how the hell do they even do this? Like, it was just so fascinating to me. Like, I just. I had a really good time. Like, I just. I was in all my glory. I loved it. I was definitely in heaven. So, yeah, highly recommend. If you haven't been to dc, definitely go. There's so many things that you can do there. And all the museums are free. Like, you didn't have to pay to get in anywhere. Everything is free. So it was really cool to, like, bring the kids there and just learn new stuff for the day. Oh, and for Easter Sunday, we actually went down to the outlets, which I've been dying to go to the outlets. I think I talked about this on last episode, but, girl, I love me the outlets. And I actually only went to get some stuff for Vivi. She needed new sneakers. We got some new Crocs. Like, we all got Disney Crocs for when we go to Disney in July. I'm so excited. Even Joe got Crocs. And it was so funny because Joe was like, me. Like, he was like a croc hater. When I. Before I got Crocs, I was like, you will never see them shits on my feet. Like, they're so ugly, disgusting. Like, never in my life. It's kind of how I feel about those bog bags. I'm sorry. I genuinely will never, ever in my life buy a bug bag. Like, I think they're so hideous, but that's kind of how I felt about Crocs. And no, I will not be buying a bug bag ever. I think a Crocs were, like, an exception option because they're just comfortable. But. But, yeah, he ended up getting a pair, and he was like, they're so ugly. But I'm Gonna do it because you know I love you and you want. Like, I want to match with you and be cutesy. So I was like, all right, let then get it then. And now he's like, oh, my God. I'm fighting the urge to wear these Crocs every day. Because the ones that he got have, like, all the Disney characters on it. I told him. I was like, you should have just got the black ones and then just got the croc charms. Like, BB did that. My niece did that. I got some really cute Minnie Mouse ones, and they're red and white, but I don't care. Like, I'll wear them shits wherever y' all know me. I really don't give. He was like, oh, my God. I'm, like, fighting this urge to, like, wear these Crocs. And I'm like, who gives a? Just wear them. Like, they're so comfortable. Nobody's gonna give a that you have Disney Crocs. Like, who cares? But it was so funny that now he loves Crocs, so now we're all definitely a croc family. So I'm really happy about that. But I. And then we went into Aeropostel because my niece, she really wanted to go into Aeropostale. And I was like, wow, this brings back so many memories. Like, girl, I used to shop at Arrow. I used to shop at Hollister. Like, those are my favorites. And those were the two stores that we hit up. And we also went to Old Navy. Like, we got a lot of good things. I love shopping for Oavy. Oavy is one of my favorite stores to shop for BB like, if you got kids, Old Navy always has the cutest. Like, you will always find clothes at Old Navy. And I got some stuff, too. I got these really cute. They're like, linen. Linen pants, but they're very flowy. Yeah. So we went to Old Navy, and then we went to Arpistel, and they had, like, buy one shirt, get two free. Buy one pair earrings, get two free. Like, they were just trying to get rid of all this. And I ended up getting a pair of shorts there. I got this really cute black and white polka dot dress from there. Like, if you're looking for really cute summer dresses and stuff, don't sleep on Arrow pastel. I'm telling you, when I walked in there, I was thinking, like, oh, this is going to be, like, for little. You know, like, for teenagers, like, little girls. But they had really cute, really nice shorts. Really nice. Just regular. Like, obviously they have their T shirts and stuff, but they have really. I found this really cute white button up. It's like a cropped button up. And that is like really cute with the shorts that I got. Like just something super casual and nice, you know? Yeah. So I was surprised that I like found stuff there. I wasn't even planning to shop for me, but I just couldn't help it. I was like, this is really cute. My niece got some stuff and then we went to Hollister and girl, worst mistake I could have made because I didn't start shopping Hollister till I was like in high school. BB over here now. She loves Hollister now. And I'm like, like, Hollister is expensive. Like, so she got this cute little camo hoodie and like the Hollister is like in pink. So it's actually a really freaking cute hoodie. Like I actually really wanted it too. It's like a little zip up hoodie. She were like, the minute we got it, she put it on in the store. And three days later she's still wearing it. Like it's become one of those things. It's like I call it her emotional support hoodie because she has. Every time I wake up, she's in it. Like she's. She wakes up in it and then she like wears it throughout the day. And I'm like, girl, I'm sorry to tell you, but I have to wash this. Like you've been wearing it for like three, four days now. Like she's got to go in the wash, babe. Like she's, she's screaming for a wash right now. I thought it was just so funny because remember when you would go like shopping with your, with your, with your mom or whatever, your family, and then you buy something and you can't wait to wear it and you're just like. And then you wear the out of it. That's basically what she did. And I was like, wow, this is just. It brings back so many memories. Cuz I used to be like that too. So it was just fun. We did a lot of shopping, got her some new sneakers. I got her this really cute pair of blue Adidas. And she got these other pair of Nikes, whatever. And then I also picked up. I got these really cute. Okay, I have to tell you, I was just looking on ebay where I go for all kinds of things I love. And there it was, that hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set.
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Shiny, like the designer handbag of my dreams.
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A
One of a kind. Ebay had it.
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And now everyone's asking.
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Ooh, where'd you get your windshield wipers? Ebay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying, just beautiful. Millions of finds, each with a story. EBay. Things people love.
- [12:25]
B
Oh my gosh. Have you been to Marshalls lately? They have all the brand name and designer pieces you love, but without the jaw dropping price tags. Alright, so here's the should never have to compromise between quality and price. And at Marshalls, you don't have to. Marshall's believes everyone deserves access to the good stuff and that's why their buyers hustle around the clock to make it happen for you. Visit a Marshall store near you or shop online@marshalls.com okay, so I saw them
- [12:55]
A
online not too long ago and at first I was like very. I couldn't figure out if I liked them or if I didn't like them. And then when I saw them in the store, I showed them to Joe. So they're like Adidas, but they look like, like they're like ballerina shoes. Like they have like this crisscross in the front and they're. They, they look like a little flat, but they also look like a sneaker. Kind of like, I can't explain it, you'll have to like, look it up online or something. Or I can show it on my Instagram or whatever. But to me, they're so cute because I was just thinking, okay, I can really dress this up. And even Joe was like, I feel like if anyone could wear this, it's you. He's like, I feel like you can make this look so cute because, like, you make everything look nice. Like you can put a fit together. Like, he's like, I feel like you should get these. And was like, buy one pair, get the other one 30 off. So Vivi had already bought something, so he was like, just get it. Like, just get it, whatever. So I bought them and I'm like obsessed with them. They're so freaking cute. They're like little ballet shoes, but Adidas, like, and they're so comfortable. They're like the. I forgot the name of it. But like that foam, like the. I don't know the name, but it's so comfortable. Like it literally feels like you're walking on a cloud. Like, cloud foam, whatever. I don't even know if that's it, but it really feels like you're walking on a cloud. So. So I'm very happy about that and I just can't. I will show you guys how it looks and you guys are probably hate it. Like, honestly, it's. It's one of those things where you either love it or you hate it. Like, there's no in between. Like, I couldn't even figure out myself until I just saw it in person and I literally pulled the trigger. Cuz I was like, you know what? I'm going to try something different. Like, I just want to start trying different things and like, taking risks. As far as my fashion, especially as I get older, I feel like I've been stuck in this rut where I can't really figure out my style. And I know that sounds. You guys are probably like, V, like, what the are you talking about? Because you guys always see me dressed up and stuff. But just because I'm like, dressing up doesn't mean that I necessarily. Like, all of my. Like, I literally am in a phase where I just feel like I'm putting stuff on, but I'm not really like, in love with how they look or like just the style that I have right now. Like, I feel like I need to elevate. So that's where I'm at. And I just feel like this springtime summer, that's where I'm going to try and like, do it. And I really want to work with like more colors and like patterns. Like, I feel like I don't play with patterns or anything. And I really want to start doing that. Like, I don't know. I just want to elevate everything in my. In my life, I just want to elevate. And that's what I've been thinking too. Like my style, like I'm getting older. Like, I'm not, I'm not super young anymore. And not that I'm saying it so like, you don't. You could dress however the you want to dress. Like, it don't matter how old you are, whatever. Like, to me, you can wear whatever you want. I don't care. I don't know. I'm just in this, in this mindset where I'm just like, I can picture myself a certain way and like wearing certain things. So I need to just do it, you know? Like, I just need to go for it. It's hard being like in your mid-30s, like, because it's like, obviously you're not 20 anymore, but then you're also not. I'm not 40, I'm not in my 40s. I'm not like in my 50s. I'm not, you know, like, it's just you're kind of in this awkward in between. You figure you're at the age where you finally figure everything out and, like, you figured your style out, and you figure stuff out, and it's like, no. Like, I feel like I'm just now, like, I'm restarting. Almost like it's like you're constantly evolving, you know, and there's, like, no end to it. But then, like, also just being in your mid-30s, I feel like that's also. It almost feels like a regrowth. Like you're growing into, like, an even better and even more like. Like a more. Almost like a more polished version of yourself. Like, I guess that's what I would describe it as for me. Like, a little more polished, A little more, like, grown, you know, like, just, like, grown and sexy. That's like, I really want to start, like, going for. You know. But, yeah, last time I talked to you guys, I told you that I wanted to talk about intentional parenting because I feel like, as growing up Latina, and obviously I'm Latina, I'm Puerto Rican. A lot of the times I feel like I love my culture. Like, let's be real. I. I love my culture, and I'm very proud to be Puerto Rican, to be where I'm from, you know? But as a Latina mother, I think a lot of us are trying to, like, heal parts of us while also parenting. And this doesn't even have to pertain to just Latinas. I'm saying this because this is my experience, obviously, as a Latina mother, but I think anyone can relate to this. We're really trying to raise, like, emotionally healthy kids, but we're also. We're also healing ourselves in the process of that, because I think a lot of us were not raised on softness and, like, obviously, like, this gentle parenting, and, like, we were raised on, like, survival. Like, a lot of us were just raised to just survive. Like, there wasn't a lot of softness there. So, yeah, intentional parenting can really sound cute or whatever, especially online. Like, it sounds cute on Instagram. It sounds cute on Tick Tock. Nobody talks about how hard it is when you were not raised that way. So to me, intentional parenting is like, parenting on purpose. Like, you're not parenting on autopilot, basically. I guess that's the word that you can use. And also, like, I think we're just being super aware of, like, the things that we're passing down to our children. We're trying to, like, break cycles. We're trying to do things so differently and in the right way. But at the same time, a lot of us, we don't know what's the right way. So this is, like, trial and error for us, and we still don't know. We don't know if we're failing. We don't know if we're succeeding. I feel like a lot of us are succeeding, but we won't really know until our kids are grown up. Right. Like, I'm not gonna know if I succeeded and, like, really did what my intentional parenting and what I thought was parenting in my eyes. Tilby grows up. Yeah, I think it's, like, actually parenting, like, parenting with a purpose and also choosing that connection over control. Because I feel like a lot of the times, like, growing up, our parents kind of wanted that control over us. Like, it didn't feel like they almost wanted that, like, connection. They just had to control us in a way, and that was parenting for them. Like, I don't think they knew any different. Like, it was like, whatever I say goes. Like, you know, like, this is. You do what I say because I'm the parent, and that's it. But you also want to, like, have a connection with your kid, and you don't want your kid to fear you. And I think with control can easily come fear. So that's, like, a fine line I feel that you can be riding on. But I think the number one thing for me really is connection. As far as parenting now, a lot of the times I ask myself, like, a question that I always, always ask myself is, do I want my child to feel like how I felt? You know? And I'm not going to sit here and act like my childhood was, like, terrible. Like, my. My childhood as far. I guess I can speak on, like, my mom, because she's the one who, like, really, really raised me. I wouldn't say she was, like, a gentle parent, but my mom was the one that wasn't, like, ashamed to apologize if she was wrong. Like, you know, but she also was very much like, what I say goes, and that's it. You know? Like, sometimes my respect for her would turn into fear a little bit. Like, that's just kind of how it was. But not my. Not my parenting with my dad. That's a whole nother story. Like, that was traumatic. Like, that's trauma. Like, that's something I never want to bring into my relationship with Vivi. I don't know. I can't say that my relationship with my mom was bad or, like, her parenting me was bad, because she was doing what she knew how to do, you know, as a parent. But if you are Latina, growing up, Like, I think in a lot of households. Okay, I have to tell you, I was just looking on ebay, where I go for all kinds of things I love. And there it was. That hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set.
- [20:41]
B
Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams.
- [20:44]
A
One of a kind. Ebay had it.
- [20:46]
B
And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you
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A
get your windshield wipers? Ebay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying, just beautiful. Millions of finds, each with a story. EBay, things people love.
- [21:02]
B
Oh my gosh. Have you been to Marshalls lately? They have all the brand name and designer pieces you love, but without the jaw dropping price tags. Alright, so here's the truth. You should never have to compromise between quality and price. And at Marshalls, you don't have to. Marshalls believes everyone deserves access to the good stuff. And that's why their buyers hustle around the clock. To make it happen for you, visit a Marshalls store near you or shop
- [21:27]
A
online@marshalls.com it is about respect and control. And a lot of that can turn into fear for your parents. Like, a lot of my friends, like, really feared their parents, like so bad. And you can't really, you're not really allowed to like, express your emotions because God forbid, like, you will literally be labeled dramatic and disrespectful. Like, oh my God, like, if you even had. I. I don't. Not even talking back. Like, because most of the time I wouldn't even talk back to my mom because I was scared. Like, if I talk back to my mom, she would smack me in my mouth. Like, there was no talking back to my mom. But if I had an opinion or I had something to say, like, it was like, no, you know, like, you can't really. I don't. That's disrespectful. You know, at least that's how I felt in my, in, in my situation. Like, I literally felt like it was disrespectful if I even said anything or how I felt. So you kind of just have this pressure to just like stay quiet, stay obedient. And I think that's kind of how I grew up. Like, I had to be on point all the time. Like, I didn't want to cause my mom stress. I didn't wanna because she also was. My mom, was a single mom. But to me, I don't know, I feel like intentional parenting really is like apologizing to your child. Like, I don't think It's a bad thing to apologize to your child if you're wrong. Letting them express their emotions and feeling safe to do so. Like, giving them a safe space to do so without shutting them down, but also creating that boundary where it's like, okay, I'm not. I will not allow you to be disrespectful towards me. You're not going to talk to me in any type of way because I'm still your parent. But I will hear you out. And I do want you to be able to express your emotions and not have to just like, keep everything in. Like, that is not. That's not normal. And trust me, because I was someone that was like that. That's how you raise people pleasers. Also, like, you can't tell me anything about that. Like, I know that is definitely how you raise people pleasers. And you raise people to just kind of like, think that it's okay basically to not have to express themselves and express their emotions and tell people how they feel. And you don't want that. Like, you do not want to raise a child like that. I think it just makes things so much harder for them as an adult. A very important one is like, setting boundaries without yelling. Like, I feel like I don't ever have to yell because I've slowly learned how to set those boundaries and in a healthy way where I don't have to scream or yell at my child, you know, And I think that's how a lot of us were raised. Like, I know some of us was bad. Like, we were some badass kids too. Like, we wasn't listening. We just wasn't. But we. I feel like there's also, like, there's certain kids who can be gentle parented and then there's other kids that like, really can. But I. Gentle parenting and intentional parenting are like, different for me. You know? Like, I think no matter what, you can gentle parent everyone, but you have to parent intentionally. And it'll look different with every kid because every kid is different. Still being intentional, still hearing them out, giving them a safe space to keep. Have those emotions to be able to talk to you and explaining things, actually explaining things without demanding them. Like, I don't. Like, I. I'm someone that has a problem with, like, authority. I've been like that kind of like my whole life. Like, I just don't like people telling me what to do. Like, it really makes me want to do otherwise. I don't know. I feel like for me, there's a certain way where you could go about Telling things. Like, I don't want to be demanded to do something, if that makes sense. Like, actually having dialogue about it instead of just, hey, you need to do. And then that's it. Like, walk out of my room. Like, that's not something that I was okay with. Like, if we sat down and, like, had an open dialogue and we're talking and, hey, let's get this done today. Can you do this? Like, I was more receptive to that. Like, that's the type of person that I am. Like, I don't. Like, someone just fucking demanding something of me and, like, blurting it out to me and then expecting me to just drop everything that I'm doing and do it. I've never been that person. Like, I am not that till this day. I'm not that person. Let's have an actual conversation. Like, human beings, you know, like, treat me like a human being, not like a fucking dog, basically. So I think, like, that, too. And there's times where I get it wrong. Like, there's times I'm like, baby, you need to go. You know? And it's like I said, it's a fine line because you're still a parent. You know, you're a parent, and sometimes you just be like. Like, you can't be around. Like, you need to listen to what I say. But I almost do. I do it in a way where it's like, okay, baby, look, this is what we're gonna do. This is what's gonna happen today. You gotta do xyz. Like, I'll kind of run through, like, a list with her of, like, things that need to be done throughout the week or, like, what I expect of her in that day so she doesn't feel like, I'm just like, bibi, you need to do this. Like, Because I feel like that also overwhelms her, too. Like, and again, this is just my experience with my child, you know? So this is just something that I've learned that works with for her, that I'm able to do with her. So, yeah, like, we'll go through it like that, and, you know, we'll write on the board, like, the things that she needs, she needs to do. And so that way she knows what she needs to do weekly. And I'm not just. I don't have to just demand her every day. Like, hey, you need to do this. Like, I'm not just throwing things at her. She knows, like, what she needs to get done, and if she doesn't get done, then that's her issue. You know, like that's going to be a problem and she knows that that's going to be a problem. But we do have. I explained things to her before. I just demand them to her. It's just weird, man. It's just crazy because I feel like we were raised to like. Okay, I have to tell you, I was just looking on ebay where I go for all kinds of things I love. And there it was, that hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set.
- [26:55]
B
Shiny, like the designer handbag of my dreams.
- [26:58]
A
One of a kind. Ebay had it.
- [27:00]
B
And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you
- [27:03]
A
get your windshield wipers? Ebay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying, just beautiful. Millions of finds, each with a story. EBay, things people love.
- [27:16]
B
Oh my gosh. Have you been to Marshalls lately? They have all the brand name and designer pieces you love, but without the jaw dropping price tags. Alright, so here's the truth. You should never have to compromise between quality and price. And at Marshalls, you don't have to. Marshalls believes everyone deserves access to the good stuff. And that's why their buyers hustle around the clock to make it happen for you. Visit a Marshalls store near you or
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shop online@marshalls.com almost like we can't fucking feel things. Like we can't have an opinion on things. Like we can't feel any type of emotion towards our parents or it's like we would be looked at a certain type of way and we're raising humans that are just in a totally different type of time. Like I, I don't know, it's so freaking weird. Like they are not like that. Like they are just not like that. It is a completely different emotional world. Like it really is. And it's hard because I feel like I also struggle with like, am I being too soft? Because I don't know, I feel like I, I do hold on to things that I feel like I can't let go of. Like, I would never let go of the fact that yes, she does need to respect me as a parent. Like, no matter what. Yeah, we're, we're. You're my, one of my best little friends, you know, you're my broke little best friend and I love you and we have a great relationship, but you need to respect me no matter what. Sometimes you battle with this. Am I being too soft? Like, is she actually gonna learn from me? And like, like I want her to be tough as well, but I don't know. That's why I always say, like, I kind of parent like a gentle parent with some sasson, because I still keep that spice in there. Because no matter what, I feel like you still gotta have some spice. You gotta let them know who's boss no matter what. But there's healthier ways to do it rather than what we were taught. And I think if. I think this is just one of those things where if, you know. You know, like, I don't even gotta sit here and explain. Like, especially my Latino parents, my Latinas out there, like, we just know, like, sometimes you gotta add a little spice. You gotta add a little sasson. Sometimes you gotta put a little fear in their heart. That's. That's. That is how they learn eventually. But do I think that needs to be the main way of parenting? No, absolutely not. It almost is like, a pulling of, like, your head in your heart where it's like, okay, well, this isn't. This isn't how I was raised. But then it's like, okay, well, that's exactly why I'm doing it differently. Like, that's exactly the reason why, you know? But then there are also other situations where it's like, well, I was raised this way, and I came off fine. Like, that's fine. So it's always, like, a constant battle. I feel like y' all gotta let me know if you go through this too, because I feel like I'm just always, like, it's, like, playing tug of war with, like, your parenting style. Yeah. I just feel like that's the best way I can explain it. It's just like, I'm playing tug of war sometimes with, like, how I'm gonna parent and how I go about things. But I will say, most of the time, like, I am. I'm very proud of myself for being a gentler parent. I'm not perfect in any way, shape, or form. I do have my times. Like, I will lose my sometimes, and I have to, like, really get myself together because I'm like, damn. Like, I don't want to keep. I don't want to be that mom that, like, lo of her or, like, BB Feels like she can't come to and, like, run to and. And talk to me about things. Like. And although right now I don't feel that way, like, she talks to me about every single thing, I do have to, like, be mindful. As she gets older, things can change. Like, she could change those feelings about me, you know? So I want to make sure that I'm keeping that line of communication open for her. I'm keeping her comfortable. Like I'm keeping her safe, I'm keeping her emotions safe. I'm keeping her emotions validated. I'm keeping her strong minded and strong willed and you know, I want her to be that girl that like isn't afraid to speak her mind and do things that I necessarily wasn't like, like I was not like that. The type of girl that Bibi is. I was not like in any way, shape or form, like at all. It's like night and day. Like if you were to put me and BB In a room together at her same age right now, like me at that age, it's two completely different children. Like it's so wild. But I'm proud of that. Like that's something that I'm so proud of because there's a lot of things I was like, I wish I didn't grow up that way because I think it would have made me a lot stronger. Like I had to get strong as an adult. Like I had to learn those things as an adult which I feel are harder. And so I'm very proud of like the things that I can see. Like there's certain things that I look at and I'm like, damn. Like we really did that like as parents, like, because I can't even take all their. Joe is very much like in tune with her emotions and he parent, like he parents her in a way where it almost like keeps me grounded too. So I just love that. Like I really do. And I think we might be really hard on ourselves, but I always take the time to look at Joe and I'm like, we're doing a great job. Like we're doing such a great job. Like she's incredible. But yeah, that guilt and that struggle is real. Like it still happens, you know, and we have to be very mindful of that and we can't beat ourselves up for it. Like we are literally healing while parenting. There's nothing that I, I, I not that I thought parenting was going to be a walk in the park, but I never thought it would be like this. Like I did not think it was going to heal certain parts of me or I was going to be on a healing journey while parenting. You know, like I thought I was ready and it's just like you get hit with so many different things and you're just like, like I was not ready for this. So you're parenting your child but then you're also reparenting yourself. So many triggers and Stuff that. That came up from my childhood, things that I worked out in therapy. Like, I wasn't. It was. I was in therapy for a long time, like, about a year or two ago, like, working out, stuff from my childhood. And then that would trigger me so much. Like, I would have feelings and these big. These big, big feelings and big emotions that I almost didn't even know how to control myself. And then I have to be a mom, and then I have to be a wife. Like, I have to give back and do all these things for these people. And it's like, what the. Like, it's a lot like. It is a lot like you're literally learning emotional regulation in real time. And I had to. I had to get my together. I had to really suck it up and get it together. So, yeah, I feel like I'm not just raising my daughter. I'm raising the little girl that didn't feel, you know, heard or didn't feel like she could speak her mind. I'm healing her. And I just. Yeah, I do want to raise a strong, independent Latina woman, you know, like, that's what I want her to be. But she's also going to be emotionally, emotionally safe, emotionally heard, and just authentic to her true self. That's what I want more than anything. And confident. Confident as, like, I girl. The confidence that that girl has, I want that to stay with her forever, you know? So I'm going to keep growing that and nurturing that as much as I can. But I feel like it's so hard for us because we're, like, one of the first generations who are, like, trying to heal our kids from our trauma. We're literally trying to shield. We are being a human shield right now. Like, that's what I look at. Like, we're such a force because we're all just being this human shield because we don't want them to get hit with the shit that we got hit with. Literally breaking generational cycles. Like, we are that shield right now, and we're the first ones to fucking do it. I just want to raise a child that doesn't have to recover from her childhood. So, yeah, it has to end somewhere. And it. We feel like it has to end with us. It has to end with us, and we have to be the one to change. We have to be the parents to change things. And it has to start with how we love our child differently. We love them differently, we teach them differently. And, yeah, it ends and it starts with us. So, yeah, I would love to hear all of you guys's, like, intentional parenting tips. Like, if there's something that you do that you're very intentional with about your parenting or how did you go about things differently than how you were raised? Or are you a more, you know, like, do you like the way you're raised and you want to raise your child the same way? Like, I want to know what, like, how you guys feel as well. Let me know. Do you have any of you had a childhood that you don't have to recover from? Because I'm very jealous if you do. Like, that would be amazing. Like, I'm so happy for you if that is the thing. Like, how do you like that? That's. That's great. But anyone that is trying to, like, heal while parenting, how are you going about that and are you okay? Because there's times where I'm just like, I'm not okay. I'm not okay. Like, I need about three margaritas right now and a Xanax, but walking on a dream. Like, we out here. We still here. I'm still here, girl. So, yeah, let me know your thoughts and opinions about this episode about parenting. I want to hear it all. You can email our email. It's thecheesemycornerpodgmail.com. i love to read Yalls emails in there and, like, feedback. A lot of you guys sometimes email with feedback from the podcast or, you know, you do your homework with me and let me know about topics that, you know, you feel strongly about. And I love that. So, yeah, make sure you email us. But that's a wrap on today's chisme. But don't let the conversation stop here. We are also on YouTube, so make sure you go and subscribe on our YouTube. You get to watch the podcast every week there. Make sure you subscribe and leave a review and follow me until next time. Guys, take care of yourselves. And remember, there's always room for more chisme here at the chisme corner. Bye. Love you. We gather here tonight to bring women back to their rightful place. The Testaments, a new Hulu original series from the executive producers of the Handmaid's Tale. It's easier to accept a story than believe that the people around you are monsters. The battle isn't over. There comes a time when you have to take action, when you have to choose your own destiny. Watch the new Hulu original series, the Testaments, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers terms apply.
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