Evolving Style, Evolving Women: Girl Talk with Marissa Roche

Summary

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The Chisme Corner with Vee Rivera

Episode: Evolving Style, Evolving Women: Girl Talk with Marissa Roche
Date: February 4, 2026
Host: Vee Rivera
Guest: Marissa Roche (aka Mari)

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Episode Theme & Overview

This episode is a heartfelt, funny, and unfiltered conversation between Vee Rivera and her close friend, fashion influencer Marissa Roche. The two dive into "girl talk" about their evolving personal styles, balancing motherhood and careers, and the unique challenges and camaraderie of being women—especially Latinas—in the influencer and corporate spaces. Expect stories about past career pivots, fashion inspirations, cultural heritage, and staying authentic while navigating social media and personal growth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Their Friendship Began (00:57 – 04:00)

• Meeting Story: Vee and Marissa recount their first IRL meeting at a chaotic beach photo shoot and joke about their instant, filter-free connection.
• Social Media Bond: Their friendship sparked after Vee reposted Mari’s viral video—bonding instantly over Instagram DMs and voice notes.
• Quote:
  Vee (02:07): “It was so random and weird, but it was like it was meant to happen.”
• On Female Friendship: Both cherish finding genuinely supportive, non-competitive girlfriends in the influencer world.
• Quote:
  Vee (03:19): “I feel like now the people that I’m starting to gravitate towards… they have that same demeanor.”

2. Navigating the Influencer & Corporate Worlds (05:03 – 14:20)

• Marissa's Career Journey:
  • Started as a teacher’s assistant—found it draining, especially as a mother.
  • Bartending school and (comedic) failed attempts at being a bottle girl.
  • Dabbled in background acting in shows like The Blacklist and Orange is the New Black.
  • Eventually moved into banking in NYC, where her corporate ‘baddie’ style flourished.
• Notable Moment:
  Mari’s description of pushing a babyless stroller on set (12:27):
  Marissa: “I was just strolling a carriage. And it was Chase’s carriage … There’s nothing in there. It was so embarrassing.”
• Insight: Career pivots (sometimes out of necessity), and the complexities for young women, especially as mothers, seeking balance and fulfillment.

3. Latinx Culture, Language, and Novelas (15:47 – 20:42)

• Reflecting on Heritage: Both share stories about not learning Spanish fluently as kids and the generational nuances of language in immigrant families.
• **Vee’s Stepdad taught her Spanish with newspapers (17:35), highlighting how “the Spanish you learn in school or Duolingo isn’t how Puerto Ricans actually talk.”
• Pop Culture Bonding:
  From Friends vs That 70s Show loyalties to classic Spanish-language telenovelas.
  Vee (16:23): “They used to be smacking the shit out of each other in the novellas. And I was like, I need to watch this.”

4. Fashion Roots & Influences (20:43 – 34:17)

• Mother as Fashion Role Model:
  Mari’s mom was a style icon of the ’80s/’90s—shoulder pads, bold lipstick, boots.
  Marissa (23:13): “She used to always have shoulder pads and accessories… now I think I’m understanding what she was going through.”
• Evolving Personal Style:
  • Both discuss how motherhood, moving out of the city, COVID, and day-to-day life shifted their style priorities to comfort and simplicity.
  • But their love for dressing up (“tropical girly” – Vee) remains at heart.
  • Thrifting for nostalgia and the cyclical nature of trends.
• Fashion Creativity:
  • Layering, accessorizing, and the joy in breaking traditional “fashion rules.”
  • Quote:
    Vee (30:43): “Fashion has no rules … once I started learning that, I was like, oh, this is like—I love this.”

5. The Realities of Influencing & Entrepreneurship (34:17 – 51:10)

• How Mari Started Influencing:
  • Early Instagram: Story-focused content, always dressed up for her bank job, fashion polls, connecting with her audience.
  • Viral moments: “Smoking and making coffee videos” helped her page pop.
• Challenges:
  • The “admin” side—forms, contracts, negotiations—was overwhelming.
  • Pressure to sell (“I never want to make the wrong move and just look like a fake”—42:15).
  • Creatively draining and not always as glamorous as it seems.
  • Balancing authenticity with evolving audience expectations.
• Quote:
  Marissa (47:33): "I want to post what I love and do what I love, but I also need to make money from what I’m doing. So I have to post what my audience wants."
• Multiple Income Streams: Necessity for financial stability—especially as a single/busy mom.

6. Recent Work Experiences & Workplace Microaggressions (51:10 – 61:54)

• Mari’s Return to Work:
  Chose a creative, marketing-oriented job near her home, hoping to blend her passion for branding and stability. But the environment was toxic, with subtle racism/microaggressions and classic sexism.
  • Quote:
    Marissa (56:34): "It was just unprofessional… what’s your intent behind it?"
  • The job pushed her toward being the "face" on lives instead of the managerial/creative role she was hired for.
  • Emotional distress and processing her departure as a necessary boundary.
• Women in the Workplace:
  Both reflect on how women, and especially women of color, are undervalued for their talent and potential, often reduced to their appearance.

7. Generational Strength, Motherhood & Self-Care (62:02 – 67:55)

• Anecdotes from Childhood:
  Family drama, protective (and sometimes misunderstood) moms, and outgrowing the need for “beef.”
• Generational Change:
  Their mothers worked hard, rarely took a day off; now they're learning to claim self-care and balance.
  • Quote:
    Vee (67:49): "Now [my mom] has that self…she's like, you know what? I owe myself the self-care. But back then…it was just nonstop. Like, I don’t care if you’re sick."

8. Dreaming About the Future & Embracing Softness (68:01 – 70:24)

• Soft Life Aspirations:
  Both fantasize about traveling, bus life, seeing the world, and living with more balance.
  • Quote:
    Marissa (68:23): “Can you imagine just like traveling…waking up and having like a beautiful mountain sunrise, with some coffee and some weed—girl, that hits.”
• Importance of Spontaneity & Structure:
  Both value having routine but need spontaneity and adventure to feel alive.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “It smells like ho in here.”
  — Marissa joking about their first-ever meetup (01:56)

• “When a baddie wants to be a baddie… I’m putting on the heels because that shit feels good.”
  — Marissa (36:39), on dressing up at work

• “I want to post what I love and do what I love, but I also, like, need to make money from what I’m doing… sometimes what my audience wants isn’t always what I want to sit and record.”
  — Vee (47:33)

• “Fashion has no rules.”
  — Vee (30:43)

• “I just want to craft. I just been doing my little crafts. I just want to read my books in peace. Like, I don’t know if you like me still…”
  — Vee (66:00), on leaving drama behind

• “You gotta have confidence within yourself. Because I know that if I get my shit together… my products will sell. Now it’s just about get the fuck up and do it…”
  — Marissa (46:16), on entrepreneurship motivation

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:57 – 04:00: How Vee & Marissa met, friendship dynamics, influencer space friendships
• 05:03 – 14:20: Marissa’s career journey (teaching, bartending, acting, corporate/banking)
• 15:47 – 20:42: Cultural heritage, language, and telenovela nostalgia
• 20:43 – 34:17: Fashion influences from their moms, their evolving styles, and motherhood impact
• 34:17 – 51:10: Building a brand & Instagram, influencer realities, staying authentic
• 51:10 – 61:54: Toxic workplace experiences, microaggressions, processing setbacks
• 62:02 – 67:55: Generational strength, mother-daughter dynamics, claiming space for self-care
• 68:01 – 70:24: Dreaming about the future, "soft life," and finding life balance

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Recap & Takeaways

• Both women exemplify evolving as both professionals and mothers—unafraid to switch lanes and set boundaries in pursuit of authenticity and happiness.
• Style is cyclical, deeply personal, and can be a form of self-care and cultural pride.
• The influencer economy is complex and emotionally taxing, requiring authenticity and resilience.
• Candid discussions on culture, identity, and navigating gendered spaces highlight how community and shared experience foster resilience.
• The episode’s humor and realness offer encouragement for listeners navigating their own paths—whatever career or life stage they’re in.

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Look out for a potential Part Two, as the amigas have plenty more to chismear about—fashion, family, and everything unfiltered in between.

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Find Marissa (Mari):
Links to her Instagram and brand in the episode description!

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Transcript

[A]

El programa nacional de vecas a ser de McDonald's a beneficiado mas de vieiciente mille estudian tes con mas e trentai sil comissiones de dolares esta esma historia de generaciones que dudavan queuerte capiculum.

[B]

Hi, guys. Welcome back to the Chismet Corner. This week I have my really good friend Marissa, AKA Mari. We met on Instagram a little while ago. She is like a fashion girly, fashion influencer, and I just love her. I knew I had to bring her on the podcast because she's just that type of. That's, like, real. She's down to earth. She's very open, and I just knew I needed to have her on the Cheeseman corner. So without further ado, I hope you guys enjoy this episode. And here is my. My girl. The last time we saw each other was the photo shoot, and that was also the first time we ever met. Like. Like, we just. We just went right into everything so fast. Like, I think the first words you ever said to me when we saw each other was, it smells like ho in here.

[A]

I think I did say that. You know what it was? I don't know. It was just like the second that we. How the did we even become cool?

[B]

I don't know. I think just Instagram, like, we were talking.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You know what it was? You know what's so funny? The other day, I was going through my Google Photos and I saw I had saved your video. It was the one video that I first found you where you went viral, where you're talking to the camera and you're like, just do it. Or I don't know what it was. Like, that one went super viral, and I loved that video. That was my first time I ever saw you and that I had the video saved on my Google Photos. So I was going down and I was like, oh, shit. Like, this is the video that I was, like, introduced to her, because I think at that time I reposted it. And then you messaged me and you were like, oh, my God. Hey. Like, thanks for the repost or whatever. And then we started. And then we, like, actually started talking through there. So it was so random and weird, but it was like it was meant to happen.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. I like that. I like stuff like that too, because it doesn't feel forced. Like it just happened.

[B]

Yeah, it just happened. And then after that, I don't even know how, we just exchanged numbers and then we just started. We've been like non stop voice noting each other.

[A]

It's cool. It's been a cool ride though. Like I love cool friends, you know, I like, it's so nice to meet people that like understand you or like kind of have the same mentality because I feel like, yeah, sometimes it just be weird with people. So it's nice when it's not weird.

[B]

Yeah, especially I feel like in the influencer space too. I feel like everyone be having like secret animosity or like competition and it's like we can all be in the same space and do have like, like I feel like me and you don't have the same niche. Like, well, kind of like we. You do beauty stuff but that's not like your main focus. Like your main focus is like fashion. Yeah, but even if it was beauty for you, like I don't, I'm not gonna look at you as competition. You know what I mean? Like, you're my girl, so I want you to succeed. And I feel like, it's just so, I feel like now the people that I'm starting to gravitate towards on social media, they have that same, you know.

[A]

Like that like, demeanor.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I love that. So I'm like, okay, I'm attracting that now because I wasn't attracting that before. Like it was always secret animosity and this one sided competition that I never signed up for.

[A]

You know it's funny. No, that's funny because it's so true and it is what you attract. People don't realize that, but I was just telling John this. Like I feel like I worked really hard to kind of like change my circle and not that my circle was like bad before, but it's just like you as a person, you know where you want to be and so you want to connect with people who are kind of headed the same way because it just makes it easier. Like each one teach one. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's so nice when I could like voice knowing you. Like, have you ever gone through this? Because like influencer world, that's very new to me. Like I haven't even tapped into it. So when I'm struggling, it's nice to have someone who really is not like, no hating, you know, that would genuinely help you because I've been moving forward in life ever since I like changed my circle to like, like, yeah, you know, like the real girls. Girls.

[B]

No, I feel the same. So I want you to talk to the audience a little bit about your journey because I Know, you didn't start off in the influencer space, you know, like, you started off with, like, you're a corporate baddie ultimately, like, that's how you started. So can you talk about your journey? Because I feel like I love. I have some friends too, also an influence at an influencer space space that are still corporate baddies. And then they also do influencing on the side too. So I just love that. I love that balance. So I just want to know, like, what, what? Let us know what your journey's been like.

[A]

So right after high school, I went straight into college for teaching because I always wanted to be a teacher. And I was a teacher's assistant for a few years. After I did, like, school and got my degree and applied to work. My mom was always in the school system, so she helped me get in, you know, like, really quick. And it was a good start. But ultimately being a teacher's assistant made me realize that, girl, I cannot be a teacher. Like, I didn't have the energy. Like, yeah, it is something. Like, it burns you out.

[B]

It burns you out when you have kids. Like, I had to get away from. I used to do, like, I used to teach in like a daycare. I was like a head teacher too, and stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, once I got pregnant with bb, I was like, I. I can't do this.

[A]

No, it's so hard. And I remember they were days that, like, along that journey from me starting, like my teaching journey to ending it, like, midway I met John, my husband. Well, first I had a baby right when I was still in college. So when Ryan was months old, that's when I started teaching. And so I was just a single mom for a little bit with me and Ryan. Then I ended up meeting John in college and we got married. And girl, life just lifed like we had a baby. And after that, I remember just coming home tired and telling him, Like, I would cry to John and I would be like, you're like, I'm so tired. You don't understand. Like, I'm tired and I'm upset because I'm coming home and I don't have the energy to deal with my kids. Like, I just didn't want to. And as much as I missed them, girl, I had nothing left in me. So I told John one day, I was just like, yo, this is crazy. Like, I'm about to crash out for real. He was just like, yo, you can't. On top of just the all the stuff that was going on with work, girl, it was just a lot, because, like, the job itself is hard. So when you put that negativity on top of just a hard job, and it's, like, hating on each other and talking and, like, girl, no, it just wasn't worth the money.

[B]

Yeah, no, I feel you. That's like. Makes you want to just be like, nah, this ain't for me.

[A]

Hell, yeah. For real. So one day, you know, it was scary, too, because we were young, and we had just got married, and we were living in a basement. It was this tiny little basement apartment, but it was our first apartment, and it was so, like, wholesome. Like, we really.

[B]

Yeah, But I was about to say, don't you look back at those moments, and you're like, damn. Like, this is like, we really got it from the mud. Like, we really came from nothing. And then you look now and you're like, holy. Like, we really did that. Like, I feel like there's, like, you said, there's, like, wholesome moments and coming from a space like that.

[A]

Yeah. So after that, I quit that girl. I went to bartending school because at that time, like, the bottles, girls, they.

[B]

Were popping, you know, they was making money.

[A]

I was like, I'm pretty. I think I might try this out. You know, my family was so mad. My mom was so disappointed. She was like, bartending school, Marissa, really? And I was like, girl, they make the money. Because, like, girl, it did not work out for me. Bartending. I never was a bottle girl, because, I don't know, I'm just. I feel like I'm outgoing, but not like that outgoing. Not like. Yeah, like, it's a different. You get what I'm saying? Because I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think that there's a certain personality to pursue something like that, and I don't have that personality. So, yeah, I feel like you got.

[B]

To be on, like, all the time because you're dealing with the customers all the time.

[A]

I also feel like people just have a lot of access to you when you're a bartender. Like, they just grab your arm like, men are.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I didn't want to be in the crowd with the men. I. I felt safe behind the bar. So I always kept it as just, like, bartending. But, girl, I sucked at it. Like, to this day, I don't know drinks. I don't know how to mix drinks. I don't know nothing. I paid all that money for that school. And I remember one time at school, it was a fun school, though. Like, it was a few weeks course and did you.

[B]

Where did you get it from?

[A]

Somewhere in the city or. I remember it was this building. It was like upstairs, though.

[B]

I feel like we went. We went to the same one because I did a. I did like a. I did. I swear to God. I did a bartending class with my friend. Well, she has signed me up. She wanted to be a bartender. And then she was like, can you come with me? Because I don't want to go by myself. So we found. She found like this Groupon thing.

[A]

Yeah, I think, girl, I think same.

[B]

Was that the same thing?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

And tell me why. She ended up missing like two of the last classes. And I kept going and I got the certificate and she did it. I was like, I don't want to be a bartender. Like, I came because you wanted to come. But then I ended up. I ended up going and I was like, oh. Like. But I. I should have done something with it though.

[A]

Like, so you never even like.

[B]

No, I didn't do anything with it. And I have. I still have the certificate and everything. But it was like one of those things that was like. It was like four or five classes. Like, I didn't really learn that much. Like, it was nothing crazy.

[A]

I learned stuff. Stuff in the school. That was the weird part. Like, I feel like when I was in the bartending school, I was learning things, but then when I got out into the real bar, I was just nervous. Yeah. So anyway, that didn't work out for me. Yeah. That's crazy, right? Do we go to the same one?

[B]

Imagine we was like in the same class.

[A]

Now my class was lit, though. I'm not gonna lie. Like, it was a time I'd be looking, I'll be like, yo, Marissa, you'd be doing some wild. But it was experience.

[B]

Yeah, it was fun. I met some fun ass people there. Like, it was me too. But I was just never. I was like, oh. I was like, I should have worked at Applebee's or some. So, okay, so you did that. And then what happened?

[A]

And then the bartending didn't work, so I ended up quitting. And then I signed up to be a background actor. So I had to go through this whole, I think it was called central casting thing was the. The company and you go to the city and you take headshots and they put you in their system and then you get calls. Like it's a certain number that calls you and it'll be like, do you want to accept. Sometimes it's confidential, so you won't know what show you're going to be on until you're on set and you see like the stars. Oh, yeah, that was a cool experience. But it was so like, I think you get paid like a hundred dollars a day and sometimes you don't know if you're working 12 hours straight. Like you don't know what that scene looks like. So. But that was my dreams of being like an actress. I swore when I was little I was gonna be an actress. But I gave that up after like a few months because it was a cool experience. But I was just like, girl, you know.

[B]

Wait, so what projects? Yeah, what projects did you get called for then?

[A]

So I did this. The Blacklist. Is it the Blacklist, John? What's the one that I was on? The first one, the one that we was trying to show Chase the other day. Oh, the Blacklist.

[B]

Oh, I've seen that.

[A]

Yeah, that one was cool. And then I.

[B]

Where can I. Wait, which episode can I find you on? I want to look at.

[A]

I want to look for it, which sucks. But I know in the Black lives me. And I was trying to show Chase it because I was, I was just telling him like, you know, I was like going through all my crazy ass careers and he was just like, damn, mom, that's a lot. But I was like, I did background acting and he was just like, like, but can I see? I swear to you, just last week we was going through Netflix. I couldn't find. I'm gonna look for it though. But I'm like strolling a carriage. And it was Chase's carriage because that was the reason why I got that role because they had accident like carriages and I was on the train with an empty ass carriage. I felt so embarrassed. I was like, wow, that's a cute ass baby. And I was like, there's nothing in there. It was so embarrassing.

[B]

It's a prop.

[A]

But when I got on set, they had gave me a little fake baby and I was just strolling through the park with her. That was just my job for the day. And I did actually, I did one. I was never on the episode because sometimes they call you but they don't need you. So you stay in holding for the whole day. So, yeah.

[B]

Do you get paid even for the day if you're in holding?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get paid for the day. And I had did Orange is the New Black, yo. That was actually a really cool experience because we had to meet in the city and they had got a big one of those, like big buses and you get on the bus, and then it takes you to the filming site, which actually was upstate New York. It's. It used to be, like, a kid's asylum, but they just. And. And it looked. It very. Like, it looked very, like, creepy. And jail. Like. Like cement.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there was, like, creepy kids writing all over it. Like, it was. It was weird. Weird. But it was interesting because they really made it look like a jail. Like, I think it was a really cool spot to film in, but I was excited to learn that because I guess my thought was, this is a jail. I'm going to a jail.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I would have thought.

[A]

Yeah. So that was pretty cool.

[B]

I love that show too. I used to watch that like crazy.

[A]

I watched it all the way up until one season. I don't know. Like, I just feel like I get very overstimulated with TV shows too. Like, once it's like on freaking season 13 and 20, I'd be like, you know what?

[B]

Forget it. That's like Grey's Anatomy. Like, that got, like, 26 seasons, and I'm like, I stopped at, like, 10. I was like, but this story shows.

[A]

I think, like, are you a friend's girl?

[B]

Yeah, I've watched every single season of.

[A]

Friends, but that's one watch all the time.

[B]

You know what showed that? I really love that 70 show. Like, my. My sister was a friend's girly, and I was a. That 70s show girly. Like, I used to watch that all the time. Yes, the 90s one.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I loved it. And Vivi watched it too, with me, and she was obsessed. She loved it.

[A]

I liked it.

[B]

Yeah, I liked it too. And. But, Yeah, I was that 70s show girly. But I saw my sister used to have all the friends DVDs and everything. Like, she's obsessed with that. And I'm like, oh, my God. So she was the whole reason why I had to watch it all the time. I mean, I. I like it, but I just like that 70 show more. But, yeah, I feel you. There'd be, like, way too many seasons for Sometimes I just be like, pull the plug. Like, no, for real.

[A]

And then they start getting weird. Like, then they start adding mad unnecessary to the show. And I'd be like, this could have ended a long time ago, right?

[B]

Mad, unnecessary characters and, like, I don't even care about this person.

[A]

I know. You know the. The novella Days of Our Lives.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Girl is still going. Did you know that?

[B]

Because no way. Didn't Joey have, like, a. On Friends? He was, like, a part of Days of our Lives too.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes. I found that so funny. And the days of our lives are still running. Yo. That's crazy that. That is dragging.

[B]

You know what's funny? I was looking. I was like, where can I watch, like, a classic Spanish novella? Because I haven't watched, like, a novella in so long. And I remember my mom used to watch this one called Mujeres and Ganadas.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Do you remember that?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

They used to be smacking the. Out of each other in the novellas. And I was like, I need to watch this. Like, I just want to see a smack a. You know.

[A]

No, for real. That was heavy in our household, too. We used to watch all the novellas, my mom and I. We didn't really speak Spanish. The kids. But my parents always spoke to us in Spanish, so we understood it. But we used to watch those novellas. There was this one that was called, I think, Sonia Doras. All the little high school girls. One was sleeping with the teacher. I was like, I have no business watching this. Wild.

[B]

They were so wild. I was like, I want to look for this one and, like, re watch it, because I remember I was young watching it, so I didn't really understand it, but now I'm like, that's just forgot to be lit now that I understand what the hell's going on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, yeah, growing up, I didn't really. I didn't know a lot of Spanish either. Like. Like, when I was growing up, I didn't learn Spanish until my stepfather moved from Puerto Rico down to the States. And then he basically taught me Spanish, which is weird because my mom's first language is Spanish. So I was like, why didn't you ever teach me Spanish? And she was like, well, because you're like, you're. You're American. Like, you grew up here. It's not like you grew up in Puerto Rico. You didn't have to. Really. I didn't have to teach you Spanish because everything you were learning was English. I didn't want to, like, confuse you, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, well, it would have been nice to, like, know earlier, but. So when. Yeah, my stepfather moved out here, he used to buy a newspaper for me from the Pueblo, like this little supermarket that we have called Pueblo. And he would buy me the Spanish newspaper and have me read it, and then I would. So he would teach me Spanish like that. And then I would teach him English.

[A]

That is so cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Super cute.

[B]

Yeah, like that. Yeah. And it was hard because I was older. Like, I was like, 10. So I'm like, I was like, my daughter's age now. Like, yeah, Spanish. So it was like, like, a lot harder. But I'm like, I actually did that shit. Like, I'm proud that I actually learned it. Time is valuable.

[A]

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[A]

I never really learned it. And my mom be just getting on my nerves because she's always like, hey, you never taught your kids Spanish. I'm like, you never taught me.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Like, it has to be passed down from some.

[A]

She gets so offended. She's like, oh, they should be learning Spanish. Spanish. And I'm like, please. But I do wish I was fluent in it.

[B]

And even if you do, like, duolingo or anything like any of those apps, I feel like it's still not the same Spanish. Like, because lingo all the time. Like, she's in the Spanish immersion program at school.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's also different because she'll get a teacher from, like, Spain and then another teacher from, like, Mexico. Like, the ones that she got now is actually Puerto Rican. So she's like, ma, like, all these different things that I'm learning is. Is always different. She's like, I feel like they'll teach you one thing, and then the other teacher teaches you another. I'm like, yeah. I was like. Because we all got different types of Spanish. So, like, the. That you're learning on dual lingo. Like, if you talk to a Puerto Rican straight up and have a conversation with them, you're going to be lost as hell. Like, you're not going to know what the other saying. So it's so weird. I'm like, I saw, like, I tell people there's a difference between, like, Spanish and, like, Puerto Rican Spanish. Like, I have to learn Puerto Rican Spanish.

[A]

Yeah. I still know all the Puerto Rican words, even though I don't know, like, the Spanish, because you're right. And they are different. And. And you know what's crazy, too? Because I thought that, like, Puerto rico and, like, Dr. I thought it was the same Spanish girl. Even they. I don't know why I always thought that we had the same.

[B]

I used to think that Too, like, out of everyone that we were like, the most, like, similar.

[A]

Similar. Yeah.

[B]

Growing up, I realized, like, now we're our. Our Spanish is so different. You're such a fashion girly. I love it. What made you get into, like, were you always into fashion? Like, even when you were little girl?

[A]

Yeah, ever since I can remember. Like, my earliest memories were when I was really young. My mom, she. She used to dress yo. Like, she used to be that. I don't know, along the lines, I think maybe having so many children kind of slowed her down a little bit. And she, you know, when you have mad kids and, well, even if you have one kid, you kind of lose yourself for a little bit. You do.

[B]

When you got mad kids, You.

[A]

Oh, you didn't agree for a second.

[B]

So you got three kids, right? Or four.

[A]

Four. Yeah, you got four.

[B]

I be. Yo, you be holding it down.

[A]

I swear I'll be trying. Girl, you got no choice. You know what I'm saying? But it be a struggle. Go ahead, day. But damn, what the hell was I going to say to you. On the beach? Stop.

[B]

I can't breathe. Oh, my God. Yo, that photo shoot where we was on the beach, so much was happening, but nothing was happening all at the same time. It was.

[A]

And it was like just the most random that you would think, like, well, this is the only crazy thing that's gonna happen. And it was like, nope, here you go. Three more.

[B]

It got crazier.

[A]

A whole performance. I'm not gonna lie, girl, I was embarrassed.

[B]

We look like straight up hookers on that beach show.

[A]

For real.

[B]

It was funny.

[A]

So crazy compared to every.

[B]

Yo. Everyone was there in, like coats and. And we were there in like, Like.

[A]

That was a good time. That was a good ass day. That was a good.

[B]

That was such a funny. That was such a day. And then the seagull and was taking the. The babies snacks. Oh, my God, I was dying. We had so much fun. It was so funny. Oh, good times. But anyway, back to what you were saying about your mom. She used to put that on.

[A]

Put that on, girl. And I remember she used to always have shoulder pads and shoes and, like, accessories. Like, sis always had, like, orange lipstick, which kind of threw me off when I was a kid because I used to be like, girl, you look like a clown. Like, the orange lipstick is crazy. But now I think I'm understanding, like, what she was kind of going through right at that time. I didn't have style and adult style. And even when I was like a teenager, if I looked back at like 80s fashion, part of me was just like, I could never wear that. Like, that's so outdated. I can never wear that. But now I'm seeing the beauty in it as an adult and how timeless it is. So it makes me think about like a lot of outfits that my mom used to have a lot of. She always had nice leather boots. Like every fall she had the flyest leather boots and just like little pieces and things that always stood out to me. And I remember when I was young, I used to be like, I can't wait to wear all her. Like, I cannot wait. But then, I don't know, when I became a teenager or I think, you know what happened. Like she had three girls. That was a lot. You know, doing three heads every morning. Like then she like ended up cutting all her hair off. I think she was like. And, and I know from experience because, because girl, me trying to do all these kids hairs, at one point I was just like cutting my off. I don't need an extra to do.

[B]

I can't do all this hair and then gotta do my too.

[A]

Yeah. Like at that time I was just like, hell no, get it off. So and then she just changed into like wearing sneakers and jeans and T shirts. And she's been like that ever since.

[B]

I get it. You know what? I think what changed for me too was when Covet hit. Like after that I stopped getting like super dressed. I used to be like dressed up even just to go to the supermarket. Like, I didn't even care. Like I was like, if I have, if I have it, I' ma wear it, you know? And then after Covet hit, I got real lazy and I still believe.

[A]

Or was it that you like moved to like the countryside? Because that was for me the same thing. Like, oh, because I used to be always like dressed the down in New York. And then, girl, you don't even. You would never recognize me, I swear to God, if you see me outside here.

[B]

Yeah, no, I feel the same way too. I talk about that a little bit too. Like in Jers, when I was in Jersey, always dressed up. Like always, because it's a different vibe. Like you in the city. So you always like. I don't know, it's. It's so different. You can't even explain it to someone unless you actually come from there. Like, you know what I'm talking about. Like, you know, the vibes. And then when you come out here, like, I don't know, I don't like. And I don't like to say like I just like gave up. Like, it's not that. It's just like literally like after co with hit, I just was like, yo, I just want to be comfortable. Like, I was just like, I. And then also with like everything that I'm doing, my career got a little more. Like, everything got crazy. Like, it got hectic real fast. Like, I had so much going on that I didn't really have time to focus on. On like, you know, buying. Buying clothes and like putting. Like, I didn't have time. So then now I just be like, what's comfortable? Cute and I guess like just cozy. Like, that's like my, that's like my. Like, I. I like to dress up, don't get me wrong. But most of the time, like, I'll have like a cute top and then I'll have like the, like, I. I wear like these little flared pants a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, this is like my, like, I.

[A]

Love all the time for like a dress down vibe.

[B]

But I try, I try my best.

[A]

Yeah, it's. It gives very. Exactly like stylish, but comfortable is. Is what you give, which I like. But I think that in a few years you might kind of change your style. I think that now with running around with cheer and like all those extra activities, like, nobody want to be in heels. You know what I'm saying? When, when. When life kind of slows down, you'll probably go back to like dressing up. I think every woman just has their process.

[B]

Yeah. And it's like seasons. So I think like, it does come in seasons. Like, you're right. Because I feel like now I'm starting to get the urge. Like I. And also like in the winter time, I know like, that's the best time to like layer and like really dress up and. But for me, like, I like, I like the summer, like in the summertime is my. Like, I really like to like, put it down. Like, I love dresses and I love like floral. I love patterns and like florals and stuff. So summer is like.

[A]

Right. I love that.

[B]

Yeah, it's that, that's like my style. And I always say I'm like a tropical girly. Like, I was meant to be somewhere tropical. I feel like if I could live in a bikini all day, I would like that. That was my life. And you know what's funny? I tell my mom all the time because we were supposed to move to Puerto Rico when I was young. Like, my stepfather wasn't supposed to move over here, we were supposed to move over there. And I'm like, why The. Did you ever, like, say no to that? Like, I would have been living my best life in Puerto Rico right now.

[A]

For real. I'll be seeing, like, my cousins. I grew up in Puerto Rico and stuff. And I'm like, girl, it looks like they just had a good time.

[B]

Just a care. It was like, just very like, should.

[A]

I shut off this light? Do I look like, blown out and ugly and be honest.

[B]

No, you look good. Your makeup looks snatched. She said, do I look blown out and ugly?

[A]

Number one? I don't know. It's weird for me because I'm looking at you here, but the camera's here, so I'm just like. I feel like I look like I'm on crack. And they're gonna be like, girl, I feel jittery as too. I just had too much coffee. I should have not had it right before. You're like.

[B]

She'S like this.

[A]

Before we started, I was like, john, I'm so. I'm so nervous. And he's like, you're nervous to talk. He was like, all the time on your stories and.

[B]

And I'm like, I don't know.

[A]

This feels different.

[B]

That's why when you popped up in the beginning, you're like, I'm nervous. I was like, bitch, why? Like the shit that you be voice noting me on my phone. Like, don't be nervous. Like, talk to me like that, you know.

[A]

Facts, facts.

[B]

Your fashion inspo came from your mom.

[A]

Yeah. So she used to just always, like, dress the fuck up. And I used to be like, I can't wait to dress like her. So, yeah, a lot of the pieces, like, when I thrift now, sometimes I just be like, wow. Like, my mom has something just like this. Like, they're just pieces that I remember. Like, they stick out to me. Like shoulder pads stick out to me a lot because my mom, I. I used to just dig in her closet and like, squeeze them. Because I used to be like, this is weird. Like, what the hell does she have there? But when I got older that I realized, you know what it was, I was just like, my mom always had those squishy things that's. And it looks good. It looks good. But when I was little, I thought it looked a little off. Like, that's the only thing. Like, for me, I was just like, she looked boxy as. Why the hell should. You know?

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. I used to hate them shits too. And then once I started getting into fashion when I was an adult, I was like, oh, that is dope. Like, when you know how to style and push it together. Like, that's why I, like, love your fashion. And I follow a few fashion girlies, and I'm just, like, always inspired by the things that you guys put together, because I love. There's things that I. I don't have an eye for, you know, like, there's things where sometimes people will put things together, and I'm like, oh, I didn't think to layer, like, a dress or over, like, jeans or, like, a tea, you know? Like, it's so different. So I love. I love getting inspiration like that. And.

[A]

Yeah, me too.

[B]

Like, yes. It makes it a lot more fun to shop, too, because I'm the type person. I see something, and it's just like, I see. I see it just as that piece, and I'm just gonna put it on. But then once I start seeing how other people, like, layer and things like that, like, I start learning, like, okay, I can layer this with something or I can.

[A]

I can, like, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's like accessorizing. It's like accessorizing the pieces.

[A]

Piece.

[B]

You know, I'm like, oh, once I started learning that, I was like, oh, this is like. I love this. Like, you can. Fashion has no rules, and it has no.

[A]

I was just gonna say it's so, like, infinite in so many ways. You could do whatever. When I was young, I remember there were certain colors that just didn't match to me. Like, for example, like, green and yellow, like, in my mind that I remember one day specifically, girl, when I was in junior high school, and that's around the time that I started. Started, like, really dressing myself, because other than that, my mom used to, like, get my outfits ready, so I'm, like, dressing myself. And that was the first time that I have friends that also spoke about fashion. So, like, I remember one day we were talking about, like, style and stuff, and one of my friends was like, I had said something like, green and yellow don't go together. And she was just like, they go together. Depending on how you put them together, they can go together. And I was like, how? Like, those two colors don't match. And she's like, yeah, but if. If you have, you know, a green and yellow top, and then you have blue pants, you know, blue jeans, and then green and yellow shoes. She was like, those two colors match. You just have to find how to put them together, girl.

[B]

Or, like, yellow shoes and then, like, some green accessories to, like, yeah, exactly.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Everything had to be paired with, like. And I still. I still have to get myself out of that. That mindset too. Like, I'm like, okay, everything has to match. Or like, I have to wear. I have to put at least like, a nude in there or like a black. And I'm like, no. Like, I want to explore more in the summertime. I really want to explore more with, like, yeah, bright, like, colors and like, that.

[A]

Because I do feel like it also is. Sorry, it also. You remind me of, like, when I was young and like, my mom, for some reason, like, instilled certain fashion rules and she. It wasn't. It was like, also, like, when you iron the pants, like, you have. Have to iron it with the line going down. And I used to be like, no. Like, I didn't understand where these rules were coming from. But there are certain things that as an adult and as I try to, like, figure out what my style is, there's certain things that I need to remind myself that I can not do anymore.

[B]

Also, my mom was very much like, she. She was a 80s baddie. But I wouldn't say she wasn't. Like, she. She had like, the leather jacket. Like, she was very, like, grungy kind of. I feel like that's how my mom style was, which I love. And I grew into that in, like, high school. Like, I used to shop at, like, Hot Topic a lot and like that and. But my mom, One thing I knew about my mom was she always had the red lipstick and always had the long red nails. That was the. My mom never, never went without her nails, without her red lipstick and her big ass blowout, her 80s blowouts. Like, she had that hair was something serious. But, like, she was always really that. Like, I know she was just. She reminds me so much of me because I'm like, yo, like, I look at pictures of her and she's like, dressed in a cute, nice dress and she has like, her blowout. And I'm like, she's just so, like, classy and elegant and I'm like. I feel like that's what she like. Like, I. I definitely took my fashion from her, you know? Yeah, my sister is like a whole different. My sister don't even like dressing up. Like, my sister is something so different. Like, she's like, yeah, she's like a graphic tee jeans kind of girl, you know? And. Yeah, we always bonded off of, like.

[A]

You the oldest?

[B]

No, I'm the youngest. Well, I'm the oldest on my dad's side. But my mom, I'm. I'm the baby.

[A]

So. How many.

[B]

It's just, you and your sister on my mom's side. Yeah. So when you started, like, your fashion account on Instagram, what made you. What made you want to even do that?

[A]

I think I was always into fashion. When I first started, like, my first Instagram page was when I was like probably 22, 23 around there. That was when I first, like ever had an Instagram account. And it was just dumb. It was dumb. But I remember like seeing photos and seeing like, women who would have like, fashion pages. And I always entertained the thought, but I never really took it serious. And that was all the way back in 2015. So, yeah, people will always tell me. And I started working at a bank. Right after the background acting, I started working at a bank and that was like my first real corporate. Corporate job.

[B]

And I. Yeah, that's what I remember. You told me that you were there for years, right?

[A]

Yeah, for like seven years. And I learned a lot of my style working there. Like, so. Because it was like in the heart of fashion. Like the fashion fashion, you know, in New York City, it was right there. There was all the stores always. So on my lunch break, I always used to just like go to all the stores and just see at all the outfits. And, you know, it was a corporate job. I always loved wearing heels since I was like, I think at 12 was when I bought my first pair of heels. And I know my mom was upset as. But I used to get child support, right? And so she used to give me the money in the beginning of the week and I used to. To like buy myself stuff. And so one day I decided to buy myself Utah heels. And my mother was just like, girl, you better return. I was 12 years old. They were like this. And they had two strings that wrap around your leg. And I. Oh, my God. And I was crying because I was like, mommy, please, I don't want to wear them outside. I just wanna. Because I started going to barbers on modeling school. Yeah, I was going there when I was young and they taught me how to wear heels. They was just like when you're cleaning, when you're sweeping, just put heels into and little. And I started doing that when I was 12. And girl, I could eat it up in some heels. Like. Yeah, a little. My knees are not the same no more. So maybe not like a little baby deer.

[B]

If I clean up some heels, I'm falling down the stairs. The only thing I clean it, yo, I got these little mop shoes. They're like little dogs. And then they have the mom, daddy, remember that's What? I'm cleaning it. Yeah, that's funny anymore.

[A]

But when I was young, hell yeah, girl, I would throw. But anyway, my mom was just like, you got to return them. And I was like, I'm not. Please. Like, I just want to clean it up. She didn't allow me outside. But yeah, I definitely was cleaning in them shits. But anyway, when I got hired at the bank, I was excited because I always wanted a job where I could wear heels. Girl, it was a dream come true. I was just like, I fit in because in other jobs I will wear heels. But you stand out and it makes. It's just uncomfortable. Everybody's looking at you like, this is dumb. Why the she's wearing heels? But like. And I get it from their perspective. I get it because it's just like you work in a school, you're running after kids. Why the you got heels on. But at the same time, you can't break a baddie. Like when, when a body wants a body. Like, there's no. I don't care what you say. I'm putting on the heels because that should feel good. Yeah, so. So that's when I started like exploring with a lot of fashion. Pencil skirts and different from there, I started learning like textiles and, and colors and just like certain like, materials and even that plays a lot in like a person's personal style, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[A]

When I started that job that I was always like dressing up, people will always be like, yo, you should, you should have like a fashion account, whatever. Like, you dress so nice every day. And I was just like, yeah, hell yeah, I gotta document this. You know, my stupid ass would always post on my stories. Like, I wasn't big on posting on my feed. Yeah. I don't know why. Like, stories on my safe school place. Like, even when I open up my stories and I start talking, that's the most natural you're gonna get me because I don't know about them that I feel like connected. So sometimes I try to record for my stories, but I'm recording with the camera and I'm like, this feels off.

[B]

Yeah, no, I get you. You, you are a lot. You're on your stories, like a lot like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where you get personal and stuff like that.

[A]

Yeah. So I would do all my content on my stories and even like, I would do like, I would set up two hours outfits and I would do like a poll like, which one should I wear tomorrow? And it was just such a fun game. But all of that was done through the Story So the engagement on the page never like the following wasn't growing. But I didn't know that either. I thought if I was consistent with stories then maybe you know, one day. I don't know what I thought. I didn't know. That's the thing. I didn't know what the I was doing. But I was just posting on my stories.

[B]

But I've got a really good following now. Like your page definitely grew like over time.

[A]

El Programa Nacional de becas Hacer de McDonald's. I think it just like it popped because my. And cut this off if you need to, but my pothead ass was just smoking Halloween and making coffee. And those are the stories, those were the videos. Everybody was like.

[B]

Yeah, that's how, that's all the stuff that would pop up. It's funny because the algorithm, how the algorithm is like that was pushed so much on my for you page. Like and then when I, when I actually went to your page I'm like, wow, she's got so much fashion content and stuff. But this is the only thing that they were pushing because that was the stuff that everyone was like, you know, posting and stuff.

[A]

Yeah, it kind of sucks cuz I do miss those videos but at the same time it's just not worth it cuz I'm just like, I don't know where I'm headed and I don't want to make the same mistake and just like, you know. But anyway, long story short, I finally. The page that I have first ever created, it had like, you know, ran its course. I feel like on my stories I was just so connected to these people and not in a bad way because they were people that I really with. Like people that I never met before. But you connect with these people like you know, you get those raw them. And I connected with a lot of people. But I also felt like at that point John had ended up getting really sick and I just didn't know. I. I don't know. At that moment I kind of felt like I don't want to be open to people. Like it's time for me to like close that door. And so I had went on the page and I was telling everybody because they literally watch my kids grow up. Like I had that page for so long.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was just like, you know what? Like this I don't want to do anymore. I don't want to give too much of myself anymore because it's draining, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I had. That page is still up. But I don't use It. But then that's when I made this page and I was like, this, I'm gonna take serious now.

[B]

And this was last time, like, strictly fashion.

[A]

Yeah, I was just like, now I'm gonna really take myself serious. And so I started that new page and I was just consistent with posting and then, you know, a got high and it popped the off and I'm just. I mean, whatever works.

[B]

Obviously you have this account and stuff, but you recently just went back to like, I don't want to say corporate life, but you had a new. You had another job basically, and you were doing like social media management and stuff like that. So what, do you like doing that more or do you like doing the influencing or do you just not really want to do influencing? Like, where's your mind at right now? Because I know we've had conversations and yeah, we talk a lot about, you know, the influencer space and we've talked about, like, not feeling. Not feeling like, connected sometimes or not being creative. And like, maybe we feel like we need to be doing other things. So, like, where. Where are you at right now?

[A]

So I feel like the. The reason why I kind of struggled, I feel like with influencing is because there's been times that I've had, like, people that I follow and I with them. Like, I love them, I love their content. But then it starts feeling. Feeling too, like, like, too pushed, like, you need to buy this or, you know, and I just never. I don't want to make the wrong move or the wrong video and then I just look like a fake. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, influencer world is very different from what I imagined it to be. It's not like black and white. There's a lot going on in between. There's a lot of admin stuff that I had no idea of how many forms and how, yeah, you know, accounts you have to make for certain brands. Like, there's just so much. And I, I think I was having a hard time just looking natural every time I would try to film content. And so it wasn't really, like, it wasn't doing it for me. So I, I kind of entertained not being an influencer because I was just like, I don't know if this is for me and that's okay too. Like, if it ain't for you, it ain't for you. You know what I'm saying? But I love the marketing side of, like, creating 1989, like creating the campaigns. Like, just having a brand is. It's fun and it's Creative. But it does get overwhelming quick when you're the one that's packing all the orders, shipping all the orders. Like, you have to be the one that's in charge of.

[B]

You're the accountant. You're the marketer. You're like.

[A]

And. And even jobs that you didn't even know existed, it's just like, yo, I didn't know that I was gonna have to do this now, too.

[B]

Yeah, you put on a lot of hats when you have your own brand.

[A]

Exactly. So I wanted to take a little break from it, and I was just like, let me try and find a job. But I wanted also something that was more, like, creative. I kind of didn't want to go back to corporate because I knew. I just. I. I all like, I don't. I want to work. It's not that I don't. I hate working, but I hate working for things that I don't want to do. Like, if it's something that I like, hell yeah. Right. Exactly. So it's just, like, not worth my energy to. To spend my day feeling, like, dragging ass. Like, that's hard. That is hard, yo. And people do that, and they're strong because, like, my sister, all the time, I'll be telling her, I'll be like, girl, how are you? It's been, like, 30 years, and you still at the same job? Like, yeah, girl.

[B]

That's how my. My mom and my. My sister it, too. Like, they got the same. They've been at the same place. And I. My mom always says, like, she's like, you always been the one that, like, if you don't like something, you. Yeah, I went through so many jobs in my, like, growing up, and, like, I always had so many jobs, but I was like, you know what? One thing about me, though, I always kept the job, and I always had money in my bank. Best believe I was always making money, but I was making sure that I was doing whatever the. I like to do.

[A]

Like, that's what I wanted to do.

[B]

And if I felt like I wasn't connecting with the. With the job anymore and I wasn't with it, I would just leave. And the thing. I will always find something better. Like, I always found something better. So I think that motivated and pushed me that it kind of, like, it kind of gave me a little ego boost, too. Like, I was just like, it. I could. I could do what I want to do, you know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a lot of people. Anybody could do what they want to do, but a lot of people don't have the mentality like it's very few that can do that.

[B]

And it is scary. It's scary to.

[A]

It is scary. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

To hop from job to job. Especially if you know when it comes to the pay. Like if you go from somewhere where you have a salary and you know I'm getting paid this every year. I don't gotta worry about it. I know I'm getting paid this. And then you go to a job where or you, or let's say you like you have your own, you make your own brands or you make your own. You're self employed now. You don't have that, that luxury of saying, okay, I know I'm gonna make this right. Like that is scary. It is scary. So it's a big risk. And like, you know, like that's how like my income fluctuates every year because it's like I can make so much money one year and then the next year make like half that. You know, it just, yeah. Industry like it's, it's so much. It's different. It's different than having something that you can actually rely on. So.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And it is.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. It's hard. It's scary. Damn. And the more you say it, the scared or I get now I'm just like, damn. No, don't be scared. Reevaluating like weight. No, but it's scary. But it'd be, you know what it is too. You just have the confidence within yourself. Because I know that if I get my together and I redo my website and I create, you know, like a nice campaign, my products will sell. I know that it's now it's just about get the up and do it, you know, and sometimes that's the hard part because you just. That is, I don't know, like, it'd be scary.

[B]

You got to get out of your own head and then also like this. But you, you have to like make stuff. That's where you have to like try and make it fun and not feel like so much of a job. Because I feel like that's another thing with like influencing is like I first. I mean we've been, we've been doing it for so long. It's like. But if you look back at the times when it first started, everything was fun. Everything was like, oh my God, like we were just posting the random on Instagram, like our food and like everything was just art and creative. Yeah. We didn't have to worry about like being trolled all the time or like, worried about what we're posting and like, what's getting. What's getting Engagement. Like, nobody was really worried about that. Everyone was just being themselves and posting what they actually loved.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's what I miss. I say all the time, like, I miss that so much. And I'm someone that, yeah, like, I want to post what I love and do what I love, but I also, like, need to make money from what I'm doing. So I have to post what my audience wants and I have to put. And sometimes what my audience wants is. Wasn't always what I want to sit and record. Like. Like, sometimes I want to do something totally different, but I have to also give my audience what they want. So I don't know. That's when it becomes, like, tricky sometimes. And it's like I have to try and find that line where I'm getting creative and like, being happy about what I'm putting out there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And also like, you know, making sure that my audience with me still. Because.

[A]

Right. Yeah. Yeah. That is pressure that do feel heavy because it's like, you know, you don't have no control over it. You know, you just have to keep, like going. And sometimes even the numbers be me up. I feel like I'll do. I'll post a video and it'll be like 80k and I'm like, I'm eating it up. And then the next. Yeah, I was just walking with you yesterday.

[B]

You get humbled so fast. Like, yo, what the happened? I did the same.

[A]

Yeah. So times like that, it's. It does get a little, like, hard because you like crazy. I feel like ever since I started doing the influencing, I don't know, like my ass for my tits, I just.

[B]

And then it's just like we just feel like it.

[A]

Like you just gotta just keep going. But that's why now when it comes to influence. So my plan was to. Because I feel like I need multiple streams of income. That's the only way I'm going to be successful because one is not going to do it. I feel like 1989 does okay, but obviously there's so much more that needs to be invested back into the brand. So when you're making money and now what you're making is paying bills and you don't have nothing left to reinvest. It's like this is never going to work for me. And I realized that after four years because now I'm just starting to learn business. For real. For real. Like, I don't know what the fuck I was doing these past four years. But I'm like, what makes sense to me is to get a job and go back to, like, corporate world or find something. Something. That's why I started looking for marketing jobs, because I don't mind going back to work. I just want to do something that I enjoy, you know, and learn in the process. Like, I'm so into learning right now. I'm learning so much. And ever since I started, like, just influencing and doing the business, like, I'm learning, girl. So much about myself. So much about, like, just so much. And what the was I saying? I'll just be talking so much, girl, you don't know. So many times I'll be on my stories and I just talk, and then mid sentence, I'll be like, what the was I even talking about? Like, I don't know how. Like that.

[B]

Yo, so you said that you need multiple streams of income, so you're going back to, like, the corporate, right?

[A]

So I'm like, if I go back to corporate, what helps me with that is a lot of the times I feel sluggish, and I think it's just because I don't have a social life, but I'm also just exiting my mom era. Like, and I don't mean that I'm not gonna be a mom anymore, but the mom era is when you sacrifice everything to be the mother. Like a job. I don't give a about a job. I'm gonna be home. I'm gonna take my kids to school. I'm gonna be home when they come home from school. Like, I don't want to lose that time with them. It's not worth it to me. So it's like, now that Levi, who's five, you know, he just turned five, he's so independent. He's gonna start kindergarten garden next year. So next year will be the first time in 15 years where I can. The kids go to school and. And I have space for myself at home. No kids. Yeah. Like, during the day. That's crazy. Like, that is just insane for me for a person that's been doing, you know, momming so hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So now it is time for me to pour more into myself. So my plan. Plan, Sorry, going back now. So my plan was to get a job, a regular job, something that I, like, enjoy doing, that would give me. That would make my influencer career flow easier because I'm naturally waking up and getting dressed to go to work. So all I have to do is set up the camera in the morning, do a little Fashion reel, like film. It gives me the consistency, but also just the. The authenticity of this is genuinely what I would wear to go to work, you know, so that was kind of where I was headed with it, so that, you know, I feel like my content would have, like, done well, and then I would obviously be having money from work because, hello, I'm working. And then I kind of, you know, get brand deals from being consistent. And then with the brand deals, I can invest that into 1989 and create what I needed to create. Create. So I had this whole strategy of what it was supposed to be, and I even found a good marketing job. So I went on, indeed, one day, and I was just like, this. This structure, like, is. It's bulletproof. Like, this is gonna work for me. So I went looking for a job and I found. I think I typed in social media because initially I was looking for, like, an admin position because that's what I was doing at the bank. But then I was just like, you didn't like the bank? You quit the bank. Why would you go back to a job like that? You know? So I put. I typed social media in the search engine just to see what came up. And a lot of marketing positions had started coming up. And so I found one that was close to me, which you already know. Like, it's the Poconos out here. Like, there's nothing you out there. Yeah, there. Like, it's hard to find jobs, let alone, like, social life or anything out here. So when that job had came up that I saw it was post posted, and it was 40 minutes for me, I was just like, I want this job. So I called before I even filled out the application. I was like, listen, I'm really interested in that position as a marketing manager or whatever. And the girl on the phone was just like, yeah, like, I'll get you, you know, I'll pass along your application, whatever. So I got a call the next day. I had the application after the phone call, and the next day I got a email saying to set up an interview. And so we did the interview. You. And everything was all good. And I was just basically explaining that I don't. I love working. I love having my own brand, but not because. Not because it's my own brand. I just really enjoy the marketing of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I wanted to kind of coming.

[B]

Up with campaigns and.

[A]

Right, exactly.

[B]

Because when I. When we were at the shoot, like, I feel like that was something that me and you were kind of like, yeah, Going back and forth with you can tell. Like, it sparks like that. That fuel creativity.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So I was just basically saying that I would love to have a position where I didn't have to worry about everything within the brand, but just strictly focus on the marketing of the brand. And then I went in for interview in person because the phone interview had went good. And we went in for the in person, and it went good too. Like, I saw the place, and it was. It was so much potential in my mind. I was like, I could do so much with this. There was just, like, a lot. It was very modern but very nostalgic at the same time. So I was really interested and. And excited to get that position because I just knew it was. It was just a good opportunity. So when I got hired, it was. I don't know, there was just so much that was, like, going on. It was like. I guess I didn't realize how. How much chaos I was walking into. It looked like a pretty picture in the beginning. And, like, you see the employees that work there, and everybody's super nice. Like, so, you know, I really liked everybody. But once I started working there, I could just, like, the red flags just started.

[B]

Felt like a shift.

[A]

Yeah. Like, the first few days, I just felt like I was being, like, pushed so hard, and it was just like, you have to post three times a day, whatever. And, like, even if it was like a Saturday, like, I worked my first day was on a Thursday, and then Friday I worked, and then Saturday, it's like, I thought I was gonna relax. It's Saturday. I'm not supposed to work. But it was like, edit these videos, like, you know, sending me all these videos to, like, edit and stuff. And so it just. I think all. It really just started off way too intense. So it happened last week, which is still kind of new, but for me and my, like, emotions, I feel very healed from it, if that makes sense. Like, you know, so I'm happy that we're talking about it now, because if you would have called me last week, I would have been.

[B]

Yeah, I remember you. Yeah.

[A]

When it first happened, I was so upset. Yo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Coming home. And just like, I remember days that I was just, like, crying in the car coming home because I'm like, yeah, how did I go from like, having your own stuff, being on your own time, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, living really for you, so, like, feeling like you're locked up in somebody's jail. There was just, like, a lot of red flags when it came to the language. Like, you know, we would be at a meeting and it, it would just be like little, little dumb stuff like, oh, Cardi B. Whatever. Which I don't know how to feel about it because I love Cardi B. Like, that's my favorite.

[B]

But it's because you're from New York and they're not like how you, how people from New York and how you talk and stuff like that. But yeah, what the.

[A]

Yeah, I just feel like unprofessional. It was just unprofessional. And it also makes you wonder like, what's your intent behind it? Because, like, if my friend tells me that we both be part, like, they know me, they know that I'm like, you know, hood or whatever, so, you know, like my family will be like, oh, Cardi B. You know what I'm saying? Well, for someone who doesn't know you. I don't know, like, I just didn't know how to take it. I. I don't know. I think sometimes we make excuses for people. Even when we see the red flags in the beginning, we kind of just always feel like they didn't mean that. They didn't mean that. Like it was kind. But then, yeah, it happened.

[B]

Like, I'll let it, I'll let it slide this time because maybe it was like a slip up or something, but then that keeps going on and then you're like, what the, like, this is really how you feel about me then?

[A]

Exactly that. It was, it was exactly like that. It was like, it started off very nice and. But then it was just like little things kept like being said and it was just intense. I don't know, I just remember feeling really overwhelmed after one week and I was just like, I know it's not me because like, I've been working hard, like I've been doing everything for my business, so this should be easier. And the reason why I wanted to do a job that was solely focused on marketing was because it would be easier for me to just focus on marketing, focus on everything else and the sales and packing and all and all that stuff. So I couldn't understand why it was feeling so much harder. But it was just like I was being pushed so hard and not only for work, just like within my like, emotions, you know, like every day I have to go to work and decipher what does this joke mean? Like, how do you know what I'm saying?

[B]

Like, you start to like, live in your head because you're like questioning everything that they're saying about you. Yeah, this is like a full. This is like also like a male dominated field too.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Where you were working at. And I was mostly like white men too. And you're a lamina, so.

[A]

Right. Another thing that I've just like been reevaluating because over the past week, I've been like. Like the whole situation just been running through my mind and I just keep reacting replay. You know when that happens, when you.

[B]

Just like, yeah, you replace situations like, oh, I should have did this. Yeah.

[A]

Because I'm just like, yo, did I And it with you. Because one time. So the trap house video, right? Yeah, not the trap house video. Whatever was said about. Oh, I was asked, do you have friends to be also low key? I feel like I don't know if I was hired with the intent. Intent of ever being a man, a marketing manager. I think I was hired with the intent of being a person that gets on the lives to sell the product on the lives. Because I noticed after a week that that kept coming up, like, oh, you could be this person. You can make this much money. You can make 20k a month. Like, if I teach you, if I train you. And I'm just like, I don't want to do that. Like, I have no. I have dire to do that desire to sit in a room full of men and cards and show them and. And give them access to me where they can write whatever they want. And I have no desire for that. My purpose was to go here as a marketing manager because my goal is to eventually work with other brands, you know, and this would be a good. Even though it wasn't. It wasn't something that I was into. Like, I wasn't into that hobby.

[B]

Yeah, but it was a good leeway for you, right?

[A]

Exactly. It's a good entryway for sure, to show, like. So I don't know, girl, it just ended up going so left. And I feel like once that kept being entertained, the like, oh, but you could go on lives. Like you. You should be able to break on lives. It's just. I think it started becoming more and more apparent, like, like, maybe that was why I was hired. It wasn't so that, you know, the marketing manager actually do what you wanted to do. Right. I think it was the way of, like, all right, this. Want to be a marketing manager. Sure, come in. But I think I'm gonna, you know, trying to persuade her to, like, detour. And so that already just felt kind of like the whole thing was unprofessional, if I'm being honest with you. Like, yeah, I'm this Like, and I don't want to talk bad about people's business, but it is. There's no structure. It is so unprofessional. And it was after, like, two weeks of being there, I just. I kept telling myself, there's this girl that I worked with. Love her. Like, love her. Like, me and her were, like, locked in because we were just like, is this real? Like, we had to every so often kind of connect and be like, is this really happening?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Confirm that we're not crazy. Because that's what was happening. It got to a point that I was like. It was like a big psychological game with, like, certain. I just. I know. A manipulator.

[B]

How long was she. How long was she there, too?

[A]

I'm not sure, but I think a few months. Yeah, but it's sad. No, it is sad.

[B]

It's sad because I feel like, as women, we have so much to give, sometimes even more than these men, especially in these creative fields like marketing management, social media management. Like, oh, my God, we have so much to give, and then we still get looked down that as, like, no, I just want you to be a pretty face on a live. Like, what the. For what? When I could be making y' all money. Like, we could be evolving the brands.

[A]

Like, right.

[B]

That our mind goes further than that. Like, it's not just my looks, like, but that's solely what they focus on is, like, your looks like all the time.

[A]

That is. I'm just so tired of it, too, because it's just like, yo, when does it stop? Like, I'll never forget when I was young, like, there was these girls that didn't like us on the block. You know, how Start problem, like, for no reason. And anyway, long story short, my mom, she is not confrontational. So, like, if a. If I told my mom, like, yo, this girl's picking on me, my mom would be like, well, stay inside because you don't need to fight. Like, she would try to avoid. Yeah. So we never got some. We never, like, had beef like that. Whatever. But I do remember one time, this girl, she liked some boy that liked me, and she was mad at me because he liked me. He did. That is not my fault. I don't even, like. Yeah, yeah, like, stupid like that. That always. That's why I was always in beef when I was little. Was just, like, dumb like that. And my mom will always yell at me, like, I know it's you. I know you do it because. So I wasn't the easiest kid at home, but I wasn't problematic outside.

[B]

Like, just.

[A]

I was, like, outspoken at home, and I would, like, talk back and stuff. Like, I think my mom had a perception of me, and I can't be mad at it because what do you expect? You know, I'm talking back to her. Like, she probably thinks, like, this is.

[B]

In the street starting exactly what she's doing outside. Yeah.

[A]

So when the girls would be like, oh, Marissa, like, we got beef, whatever. Like, my mom will always defend them, and she'll be like, I know it's you. And one day she did it in front of them. And, girl, I was so livid. Like, I wanted. I was so.

[B]

Your mom being your eye. I'd be like, yeah.

[A]

I was so mad. And I think that that was like, the. The. My mom saw how mad I was, and I think that that was the first time that she truly saw me. Because, girl, I just. I was in my room crying because I was so upset. And, like, I didn't cry when I was little. So my mom was like, this is really upset, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The next time those came, my mother looked at the girl's mother, and she was like, let me tell you something. I know my daughters are pretty. She was like, what the. You want me to do? Do? I can't hide them in a closet.

[B]

Yeah, I know. That's right.

[A]

I was like, yeah, yeah, say that, girl. I was so hyped. I was like, finally she told these ugly. Finally, yo. Because they knew that was the way to get to me. Like, they knew my mom. Everybody knows my mom. She's mad, quiet, like, she's never. No problems.

[B]

That's how my mom is, too. But it's funny because I always was like, okay, my mom's, like, really soft, and. But then I started learning.

[A]

Learned.

[B]

I learned about how my mom really was when she grew up. And my aunts. Literally, because my mom has three other sisters, so it was always the four sisters growing up together. And my other aunts, like, they hood as. Like, they don't give a. Like, they fight. Like, my mom's, like, the classy, cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, she. But. But. But there was like, oh. There was like. I remember I said I was like, oh, mom, don't fight. Or my. And my. My aunts were like, oh, your mom, don't fight. I was like, they were like, your mom was. Because my aunts are like the younger ones, so my mom is the older one. There's like, your mom used to. Everybody up for your sisters. Like, your mom was out there popping all the time because My. Her, her sisters used to get into all the time because they.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would always pop their mouth. Pop their mouth out in the block. So my mom had to come and bail them out all the time and fight. So my mom's like, this is why. She's like, I had to fight all the time growing up and I was always in some. So now I don't want you to grow up like that. Like I don't want you to have to go through the. That I'm going. That I went through too. Like we had to always defend ourselves and fight and do all this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, I'm over here thinking you like don't, don't rub that on me. But it's just the whole time she's tired. The is tired of fighting.

[A]

She just got tired. You do get tired. It's just not worth your energy anymore. I feel like that's why.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

I don't even have beef with nobody. I don't have energy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For real.

[B]

I'm like, if you got beef, it's one sided as. Because I'm just like, I don't got the time to be thinking about it. I just don't. I don't have. I just want to craft. I just been doing my little crafts. I just want to read my books in peace. Like, I don't know if you like me still.

[A]

I feel like you just in the frame. Perfect. Just sitting still. I feel like. So anyway, you know what it is? I really do think I have ADHD because I'm just, I can't sit still. It's hard for me probably.

[B]

You know women, we're like the, we're all where we go the like undiagnosed the most because that's how we live our life. Like think of a woman especially that got kids and works and does all the things like we're always on go. Like we don't know. I feel like we don't know any different. So it's hard for us to think, okay, I have adhd when it's literally just this is my everyday life. Like this is what I'm doing every day.

[A]

Maybe it's not even adhd. Maybe it's just like what we were born into because like I was born into that. Like that sick. Like even when she was sick, she was cooking, she was cleaning.

[B]

Like, exactly. My mom would still go to work sick as. Like she was still going. She had to go to work because she was a. Yeah. She had to make money. So like I never had a sick day. Never had a sick day. I don't, I don't think I ever seen my mom just like now that she's older and not like she, she manages like the whole place. She basically can do whatever the she wants. But yeah, now she has that freedom like and now I think she has that self. Like she's, she's like, you know what? I owe myself like the self care. But back then, and I look at it because I'm like she was the same age back then that I'm thinking of that I am now. And that's how I was. Like, that's how she was. Like it was just non stop like I don't care if you're sick. Like, and that's how we are now. Like if I'm sick, I still gotta get up and do. I gotta be a mom. I have to get things done. But now my mom be. She'd be taking days off and she don't give a. What they gonna do. She's like, what they gonna do? Fire me? I. She basically, she's like, I run that whole office. Like they can't fire me. So I'm like, yo, that's some funny. At least you're getting there now.

[A]

Yeah, no it right, yeah. Better late than never. Honestly. Some people be trapped forever.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. We go our whole lives like that. But that's just like, I think that's just like a woman thing. Like that's just how we are.

[A]

That's why I'm like, yo, when I get older, I don't even know like I don't give a. To have a house either. I will buy myself one of those school buses. Make that beautiful and just travel the world.

[B]

I can imagine you getting a school bus. Bus.

[A]

I was stopping every.

[B]

Please, please.

[A]

Yo.

[B]

Oh, you got to come pick me up then if you get a school bus.

[A]

Because can you imagine just like traveling to like those beautiful like waking up and having like a beautiful mountain sunset like, or sun sunset. Sunrise, sunrise, sunrise. With some coffee and some weed. Like, girl, that hits.

[B]

I know there's a one woman out here, she's like a. I think she's an attorney and her husband just bought one of them buses and they, I've been watching them like renovated and I wonder what, I wonder if they finished. I haven't seen anything like an update in a while, but I was like, that's crazy at first. And then I was like as I started to see the update because I've never seen some like that before. I've never seen someone no I never seen someone buy a school bus and turn it into, like, a mini home. And, like, I've never seen some like that. Like. Like, what the. So that was crazy to me. It does look lit. It looks lit. So I won't lie. I'm like, that looks cool as hell. Maybe we should just do that. Like, get a school bus and just sell our houses and travel the world and make life easier. We'll live a soft life. We deserve that.

[A]

Well, no, because I feel like I need balance too. Like, I need a little ratchet. Like, I can't go a long time without ratchet. Like, it doesn't have to be often, but, like, definitely got to be present.

[B]

I feel you. I always told you I'm like, I'm the type of person that I like structure and I like having, like. I want to say routine, but I like to know that at least that I'm getting the things that I need to get done. Done. But I also love, like, spontaneous. Like, I love when, like, if. If Joe will randomly be like, tomorrow, like, hey, pack up. We're going somewhere. Somewhere. Or, like, you could always up my day doing some like that. Because, like, it's not gonna up my day. It's just gonna make me happy.

[A]

Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is mad healing. Like, you're expecting a chaotic day.

[B]

Yeah. It takes you out of, like, the everyday.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I love. I love that. Like, as much as I love routine and stuff, I also really like to keep. I gotta keep things alive because I get bored. Like, I get bored really fast.

[A]

Yeah, same.

[B]

I think we need to do a part two soon, but.

[A]

Yeah, that felt like one minute, girl. Always a good time.

[B]

We talked about fashion. We talked about motherhood. We talked about influencing. We talked about a lot. But thank you for coming on.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you for having me.

[B]

We'll have to do a part two soon. There's a lot more that I want to talk about that we didn't even get to hit.

[A]

Yeah, we'll do it in person this time.

[B]

Yes. Next time I want to do in person like, that. It's gonna be so fun. I got my little studio downstairs, and it's a mess.

[A]

Have you been working? Oh, I was gonna say, because I feel like lately I've seen that you haven't filmed there yet.

[B]

I filmed. I filmed, like, my episodes there and stuff, but I haven't been down there to, like, do content or anything because I have to, like, mop and sweep and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So once I do, I'm probably gonna clean it this weekend. And then. Yeah, that's another thing. I'm like, I don't. I don't. Made a whole. Another place that I gotta clean.

[A]

And. Yeah, and you'll be surprised because that's with the garage. I feel like I'm only in there to work and somehow it'd be the messiest room of the whole.

[B]

It is. That's how. That's how it is. Yup. So I'm like. Like I just made myself. I just made life a lot harder for myself.

[A]

But it's worth it because it looks good. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, I'm gonna text you. Thank you for having me.

[B]

All right, thank you. I'll talk to you soon. Text me.

[A]

All right, bye.

[B]

All right, guys, that's it for this episode. I hope you liked it. I didn't want to do an interview style episode with her because that's just like my girl. Like, we just shoot this all the time and I just wanted it to kind of just flow and wherever it takes us, it takes us. There's so much more that I wanted to talk about with her. So I might have to do a part two with her in the future. But that's just how we are, girl. Like, we go in and we just talk and talk and talk and we go from subject to subject. But. But if you want to find her on social media, media. I'm going to leave all of Mari's stuff in the description box, Her Instagram, her brand, everything, so you can find her. I will be back next week for a Galentine's Day episode. And I will see you guys next week. Bye.

[A]

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