From Heartbreak to Hot Girl Era: Amber V Cruz Unfiltered

Summary

The Chisme Corner with Vee Rivera

Episode: From Heartbreak to Hot Girl Era: Amber V Cruz Unfiltered
Release Date: October 29, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This lively and raw episode of The Chisme Corner dives into the journey of Amber V Cruz, a well-known lifestyle and beauty content creator, as she opens up about her devastating breakup and ensuing “hot girl era.” Host Vee Rivera and Amber keep it 100% real, discussing infidelity, the realities of divorce, healing from heartbreak, the power of community, and reclaiming confidence as single moms. It’s an honest look at resilience, self-worth, and starting anew.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Amber’s Backstory: From Beauty Creator to “Single Mom Era”

• Amber began her online journey on Instagram during the pandemic, after leaving Sephora and becoming a stay-at-home mom.
• Her content blended beauty and "mom life," which resonated with many.
• Relationship timeline: She met her now soon-to-be-ex-husband when her son (from a previous partner) was six, and together they had a daughter in 2019.
• Amber emphasized her resolve not to date men with kids in the future, highlighting experiences with “baby mama drama.”

  “I am not not doing that… First baby mama for both of them.” (05:09)

2. The Messy Divorce Process

• The divorce, though amicably approached via mediation, has been expensive and slow (approx. $5,000 so far).

• Both expressed frustration at how legal processes can trap women in unhappy marriages.

  “This costs us… This is costing more than the wedding. Like, get out.” — Amber (06:28)
  "I think this is like a huge reason why… people stay in situations because a lot of people don’t have the resources to get out.” — Vee (07:01)

3. Discovering Infidelity – The Breaking Point

• Amber’s relationship seemed “perfect” until the last six months, when her ex became consistently moody and distant. She attributes his irritability to the cheating already in progress.

• The first red flag: a follower DM’d Amber reporting that her husband was at a bar with other women (April 2024). Amber initially believed her husband over the follower.

• The final straw: After a suspicious, emotional birthday phone call from him, she resolved to go through his phone and found proof—graphic pictures and videos, which led to her immediately kicking him out (13:38—14:48).

• She subsequently found extensive evidence of cheating in his Instagram DMs.

  “I see the most disgusting videos, pictures from the girl in the phone, and I wake him up out of the sleep and tell him to get the fuck out of my house. Like, I blacked out.” — Amber (14:33)

4. Community Reactions and Betrayal

• Amber struggled with betrayal not only by her husband, but also by people around her who knew about his cheating.

• Moving from NYC to Jersey City brought needed distance from local drama and potential run-ins with “side pieces.”

  “Thank God I moved away… I can gladly walk outside and not see a single side piece…” (17:23)

5. Cultural & Online Pressures + The Power of Storytelling

• Amber candidly discusses the unique pressures for Latinas and content creators when it comes to relationship image and public perception.

• Sharing her story online connected her with a “community” she didn’t have in her personal life.

  “I don’t know anybody that’s ever gone through this. So when I first opened up and shared about it… it felt like a huge relief.” (33:47)

6. Healing: Therapy, Medication, and Daily Rituals

• The initial aftermath was deeply painful: anxiety, rapid weight loss, and depressive episodes.

• She sought therapy and started medication (Zoloft)—her “happy pills”—which she credits with helping her function.

• Support from family, especially her son, was crucial.

  “I lost a total of 25 pounds because I was sick to my stomach… There’s not signs when [he’s] good at it. Props to him. He’s good at lying and manipulating and faking his whole personality.” (20:24-21:10)

7. Red Flags & Gut Instincts

• Reflecting, Amber noticed small red flags: unexplained deodorant stains, odd dog behavior, and excuses.

• She and Vee discuss the tendency to distrust gut feelings or make excuses when you don’t want to believe the worst.

  “Our dog is barking… I’m like, imagine he smells like another dog… He did. Because this girl has a dog.” (22:36-23:04)

8. Parenting Through Heartbreak

• Amber was transparent with her 13-year-old son about the breakup, while her younger daughter remains unaware.

• She tries to provide emotional security and set examples about self-worth and not tolerating cheating.

  “I told him straight up. I said, I found out that Daddy was cheating on me and I kicked him out.” (23:57)

9. Both Healing and the “Hot Girl Era”

• Embracing content creation, gym time, and “romanticizing little things” helped Amber reclaim her identity.

• The importance of not comparing her healing journey to others—healing isn’t linear.

  “There’s a healed version of me and then there’s a non-healed version of me, and you’re never going to see one at just—just at once.” — Vee (30:56)

10. The Single Mom Glow Up

• Amber focused on career independence, becoming the main breadwinner, and enjoying her “hot girl” transformation.

• She’s determined to prioritize her kids, her passions, and her peace of mind.

  “This new version of me represents loving yourself, knowing your worth, that you do not need a man. I can do all this by myself.” (42:03) “I’m still gonna do that. And they’re going to realize, you know, that Mommy did that.” (43:16)

11. Advice for Other Women

• Healing is non-linear, and self-focus is crucial.

• Kids can be the ultimate motivator to push through.

• Community (IRL and online) makes a difference.

  “You can finally focus on yourself and the healing is a journey that is not linear.” (49:07)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Divorce Costs:
  “This is costing more than the wedding. Like, get out.” —Amber (06:28)

• On Cheating & Self-Respect:
  “I know my worth. I'm not gonna stay with a man who's cheating on me.” (18:33)

• On Community:
  “I'm inspiring to [other women], and I love [that] so much. Like, I get messages, the sweetest messages, all the time.” (33:47—34:38)

• On Mental Health:
  “I had to seek therapy and they ended up putting me on Zoloft because I was having anxiety.” (26:50)

• On Glow-Up:
  “Everyone’s like, oh my gosh, you look so good, but I’m just like, I’ve cried to get this back.” (41:29)

• On Single Motherhood as a Flex:
  “[My kids] are going to realize, you know, that Mommy did that.” (43:16)

• On Starting Over:
  “I never want to get into a relationship again,” but maybe one day, “just don’t sign those papers.” (58:08)

• On Happiness Now:
  “I try to romanticize, like, little things… waking up every morning, I love making my coffee… in this brand new apartment that I’ve only dreamed of.” (51:08)

---

Important Segments & Timestamps

• [03:26] – Amber’s background in content creation/postpartum life
• [06:13] – Navigating divorce logistics and costs
• [08:59] – The moment Amber checked her husband’s phone
• [13:38] – Discovering evidence and kicking husband out
• [20:18] – Immediate aftermath: severe weight loss and mental health
• [22:36] – Looking back at missed red flags
• [23:57] – Talking to her kids about the breakup
• [26:50] – Healing: therapy, medication, support systems
• [30:56] – The non-linear process of healing
• [33:47] – Role of the social media community
• [42:03] – Amber’s new outlook and self-definition
• [49:07] – Advice for women starting over

---

Tone & Vibe

• Candid, warm, and affirming—like a healing conversation with your homegirls
• Balances deep honesty with humor and sass (“pretty petty,” “hot girl era”)
• Empowering: Encourages self-love, self-respect, and breaking stigmas, especially for Latina women and single moms

---

Conclusion

Amber V Cruz’s story is one of heartbreak, resilience, and transformation. Her journey from betrayal to self-reclamation is a testament to the strength it takes to start over and the magic that happens when women share their truths—online and IRL. The episode ends with both Amber and Vee reflecting on the power of community, self-love, and the surprising gifts found in letting go.

---

Transcript

[A]

Our state has changed a lot in the last 140 years.

[B]

We know because Multicare has been here.

[A]

Guided by a single making our communities healthier. That comes from making courageous decisions, partnering with local communities to grow programs and services, and expanding healthcare access to those who need it most. Together, we're building a healthier future. Learn more@ multicare.org.

[B]

Deadlines move fast. So should your takeoffs with Lowe's blueprint takeoff. You can turn blueprints into competitive quotes. Bring us your plans and we'll generate itemized material lists to make quoting faster and easier. And when you're ready, we'll deliver everything you need straight to the job site. Visit the pro desk today to get started.

[A]

Lowe's.

[B]

We help you save.

[A]

You don't think your husband's going to cheat on you? And people are always like, oh, like, how do you not know? Like, there has got to be signs. There's not signs when he's good at it.

[B]

All right, guys, welcome back to the Cheeseman corner. I have a good friend of mine here. Her name is Amber Cruz. You guys have probably heard about her. She's all over Tick Tock. She's a really great lifestyle beauty content creator. I feel like I don't even remember how we met. Like, I think it just on. Yeah, I think it was just Instagram.

[A]

It's Instagram. Yeah, right. I think I should probably find you on Tick Tock. I actually added your TikTok yesterday. Oh, did you? Okay, so then when we're done here, I'll add you back.

[B]

But yeah, I haven't been on TikTok in a minute. Like, I feel like I had deleted it from my home screen. So it was kind of like an out of sight, out of mind thing. And then I was like, oh. Like, I was like, I need to go back on my Tick Tock. Like, it's been months. Like, I have not been on it. So I went on yesterday and, like, finally posted something and everyone's like, where the hell have you been? Like.

[A]

And I was like.

[B]

And then it's funny because I was on my for you and you popped up and I realized I wasn't. I was like, wasn't following you. And I was like, I thought I followed her on Tick Tock. So I just followed your page, but I was like, yo, she probably thinks of. Oh, well, like, what the fuck does she following me?

[A]

No, I have to find you now. So.

[B]

But yeah, I did this other look. But yeah, so we met like on Instagram and I think we just Started, like, talking for there. And you know what's funny? Like, I. I think I started following, following you, like when everything happened. So we'll get into you. Like, I want you to explain, you know, where you are now in the situation. But when I first started following you, you were just going through your separation and you were in Disneyland or Disney World.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. With your baby.

[B]

Dad.

[A]

That'S hilarious.

[B]

I know. And I was, it was so funny because I started following you for beauty content, but then I got pulled in. Cause, like, your, I don't know, your stories are so engaging too. Like when you start dropping your tea. And I was like, what is going on? I was like, I guess she's like getting a divorce and I guess this is her baby. So I started really tuning in and.

[A]

I was like, oh, my God, that's so funny.

[B]

I was like, oh, my God, this is crazy. But I want you to explain, like, from beginning to end, because just in case anybody here doesn't know your story, like, okay, everything that happened from beginning.

[A]

So I'll try to make it, like, as short and sweet as possible.

[B]

Cliff Notes.

[A]

Yeah. So I started off as a beauty content creator during COVID had my baby. I was postpartum working at Sephora and I was like, I'm not going back to work because they wanted to go back to work. So that's when I started my content creation journey. That's when reels just came out. So then that's how I started growing on social media. And, um, my Instagram took off. So at that point I was like a stay at home mom with my now almost ex husband. Well, my boyfriend at the time was turned into my fiance. Then we got married. So then I started doing like, stay at home mom content with beauty.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then now that was what, 2020? And now you were in 2025. And now I'm doing beauty content stills there. But now I'm a divorced single mom.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. So you have two kids, right?

[A]

Yeah, I have two kids. I got pregnant when I was 17. So my son's father. Yeah. So he's not around.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I met my ex husband when he was around six. He decided to take on the father figure role for my son, which was great. And then we had our baby ourselves in 2019. So now he's like, dad two, both kids. How long were you married for three years. We were married and together for six years. Wow. So that's a.

[B]

That's a long time for him to even be in your. Your Son's lives, too.

[A]

Yeah, it's a good chunk of time, because if I think about it now my. My daughter's now 5, but, like, he met my son around, like, 5, 5, 6, and then now my son is 13. So he's been around. He basically, like, was around, like, having him grow up.

[B]

Yeah, definitely, like, helped raise him and everything. Does he have kids from any prior relationships?

[A]

No, I am not.

[B]

She said, I'm not doing that.

[A]

I'm not not doing that. Yes.

[B]

I applaud you. Don't do that.

[A]

Right. First baby mama for both of them.

[B]

Good for you. Because the drama is not worth it, honestly.

[A]

It's not. No. Like, baby daddy is a mess. He's a mess. I can't. It's crazy because it's like, I won't date someone who has kids. I mean, I'm not even thinking about dating right now. But, like, in the future, I don't think I want to date someone who has kids. Yeah. Especially if they're young kids, because that comes with drama. But, like, you know, as you get older and the kids get older, things might change. But right now, I'm like, I'm not dealing with any baby mama, baby daddy drama.

[B]

I definitely feel you. All right, so you guys aren't together now? You got divorced?

[A]

Yeah, well, we're still legally married. It's a very long process, unfortunately. So, yeah, you're still dealing with all of that. And I was hoping, like, we would get the papers finalized by this year, but right now it's just, like, put on hold because I have to get something done, and then it's emails.

[B]

It's always such a process. Like, why?

[A]

Yeah, I'm, like, so hard. I don't understand. And, like, we don't. It's not even, like, we have properties. Like, none of that. Like, we literally just want to sign a paper saying, let's get divorced, and that's it. Like, we've already figured out our kids schedule the holidays. Like, can we just sign everything?

[B]

Figured out? Yeah.

[A]

Like, what's the hold up? Right? And then it's mad expensive. This costs us. This is costing more than the wedding. Like, get out.

[B]

Really? Like, ballpark, how much to get divorced?

[A]

So far, it's been, like, almost 5,000.

[B]

Get the out.

[A]

And we're taking the easy way out, which is, like, mediation, because we're not doing, like, the courts and stuff. We're doing mediation. So we just have, like, this girl that we're emailing back and forth to, like, get everything done. And, you know, she's charges by the hour, whatever document she's writing up. And I'm just like, yeah, well, this.

[B]

I mean, this is. I think this is, like, a huge reason why, like, a lot of the times sometimes people stay in, like, situations because a lot of people don't have the resources to get out. And with how expensive a divorce is and, like, even just to be apart from someone that you don't want to be with anymore literally costs money.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it's insane.

[A]

And I didn't even want this, so, like.

[B]

Yeah. So now why do I.

[A]

Why do I have to pay? Right? Like, you should be paying for all of the. You caused all of this. This is what you wanted. So now pay for it.

[B]

I feel like that should be a rule. Like, that should be a legal thing. And I don't know. I. I don't know if I heard this somewhere or if it was, like, some states that were doing this, but it was, like, starting to be a thing where if someone cheats, like, they have to be the one to, like, pay everything. Like, it's almost like a. For them. I don't. I don't know. I don't. I could be wrong. I just vaguely remember reading something about.

[A]

It, like, on Instagram. I read, like, a meme, right? I don't know if it was true or not, but, like, in 2026, if they cheat, they go to jail. Like.

[B]

Okay, so then let's just wait.

[A]

Let's hold off. She's actually. Let's hold off.

[B]

Give me a minute.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I'm going to be stalling. Let's not pick up this girl's calls. No more till 20.

[A]

No, honestly, I don't even. I don't even think we'd be divorced before then. So, like, maybe it will work out for me and he can go to jail.

[B]

I thought that would be the best case scenario.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Hold on one second. Because I had some. I had, like, cards with questions written on them, and I pulled the ones that don't have any. So let me go find where they. Okay.

[A]

Okay. Were they in the room the whole time?

[B]

They were literally in the room. And I went all the way upstairs like a fucking idiot. Yeah, I'm a mess. I can't. Okay, so I wanted to go back to. When was it. Okay, so it's been a year. Because I saw you posted something on TikTok, like, a couple months ago, and you said that it's been a year since you left your husband.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can you talk about what exactly happened? Like, I know you mentioned that you went through his phone? Yeah, Everything kind of took off from there.

[A]

Yeah. So let's get into the tea now. So everyone's like, what made you go through his phone? Like, so we. I can't even complain about our relationship and marriage because, like, it was the happiest I've ever been. Like, we were perfectly fine. Everything was normal. The only thing was, so 2024 July is when we broke up in January. Like, we just started arguing more in the last six months of our relationship. Like, that was really it. But, like, I didn't think that I was getting cheated on or anything like that.

[B]

So do you think that the arguing kind of had something to do with that? Like, maybe he was starting to feel a little. Like, was he picking at things or words? Were they just totally not.

[A]

I think he just, like, hated me so much.

[B]

Like, he would.

[A]

So he would, like, wake up and be in the worst mood. I'm like, we just irritable. Yes. Like, he hated being here. I'm like, what is going on? Like, why do you wake up with this every single day? And, like, I'm not even.

[B]

They just started.

[A]

I just opened my eyes, I went to the kitchen, make a coffee. I come back, and you have attitude. Like, he just hated being here. But because he was already cheating on.

[B]

Me, he was so mentally checked out somewhere else.

[A]

Yeah. Because, okay, so obviously, like, he's had this side piece for a few months or whatever, and obviously I didn't know about that. And so, you know, just like, the behavior of, like, acting weird and upset and just being moody was really weird to me. But, like, I was like, what's going on? And, you know, I'm. I'm. I believe in God. So, like, I pray and stuff, and I'm like, you know, God, please help me. Like, I don't know what's going on, but I don't know, like, we would just be arguing and he would. I don't want to, like, say too much stuff that he said, but he would say some things, and I'm just like, okay, like, trying to be a wife and be there for you. And like, you know, he would just basically say that he's, like, unhappy with himself. And I'm like, okay, like, we can.

[B]

Get through this together. Yeah, like.

[A]

Like, I'm trying to be there for you and help you out. Like, what's going on? But, you know, he. He said some things. Come July, actually in April, I have to do a story time for my TikTok. I've been saying I'm Gonna do it. I don't wanna get into it right now. Cause it might be too long. But in April, I had a follower DM me saying, like, I think your husband is here with two other girls and another guy.

[B]

Where?

[A]

It was at some, like, bar in Brooklyn. And I. We were messaging back and forth. But then I called him and, like, he left. And that's like a whole other story.

[B]

So that turned out to be true then.

[A]

Yep. I ended up not believing her. Because when you're with someone that is really good at manipulating and lying, then you believe them. I'm like, yeah, she's crazy. Like, why is she randomly just going to say this? But anyway, that was in April. Come July, it's his birthday weekend. And we had a phone call. And he gets emotional. And I thought that was really weird. I was like, okay. After that's. It was a phone call that he started being emotional. I was like, no, I need to go through, respond, something's going on. But I was like, let's enjoy his birthday weekend. So we went through his birthday weekend. Me being the amazing wife I am. I treated the whole thing.

[B]

I was like, you're nice.

[A]

Me being the amazing wife I am, I treated the entire table, the guys, the bottles, the food for everything. Because I wanted us to have a good time. I don't want no one to be like, oh, I can't come because I don't have money. I got it. It's my husband's birthday. I want to take care of him and you guys. Right? Yeah. Meanwhile, they all know I'm getting cheated on too, by the way. And so.

[B]

Oh, girl, that is the worst.

[A]

Yeah. We ended up getting into a fight that same night, which was so stupid because it was about, like, some guy looking at me. I told him, but I didn't tell him soon enough. So he got really upset. I'm just like, that's another story.

[B]

Yeah. At the. Now that you look at it, you're like, why were you even that mad? Like, you weren't even, like, you acting like you hate me, literally.

[A]

So then we ended up coming home, whatever that from that day or that weekend. I was like, I'm gonna go through his phone this week. And so I would go through his phone Monday. I found, like, pictures and his deleted, like, random, like, screenshots. I'm like, whatever. It's not hard evidence. Next day, Tuesday, check again. Those photos are deleted. I'm like, hmm. So he's deleting stuff next day. I don't think I checked. Or maybe I Didn't. Didn't find anything. Following day, it was Thursday. He got home late from work, which is how he was able to, like, get away with all of this. Was lying to me about going to work. And so I went through his phone in the middle of the night. It was like three in the morning. And that day, I remember, I was like, why is he taking so long to go to sleep? Like, I was ready to, like, find something that day. Finally, he fell asleep. I go through the phone, I see the most disgusting videos, pictures from the girl in the phone, and I wake him up out of the sleep and tell him to get the fuck out of my house. Like, I blacked out. And I feel bad because Amaya, or my daughter, she was what, like four at the time? She's. She sleeps in the bed with us, but she had her own bed on the side. So, like, she was able to witness everything. My son is in his room, so obviously he hears me screaming. So, like, he's very aware of the situation. My daughter still thinks that, like, I'm the bad guy and I kicked Eddie out. But I'm sure, like, we'll obviously, we'll have the conversation when she's older. But yeah, I kicked him out because I went through the phone and I found all that disgusting evidence. And then three days later, so obviously, like, I told my friend, one of my close friends about this. She's like, have you ever checked his Instagram? I'm like, no. I was like, I've never even thought about that. And I don't even know if I would have the password. So I tried the one password that I thought might be, and it was. It. I got in. When I tell you that there was so many girls in those DMs, so many girls in those DMs.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah, that is.

[B]

You know what you should do? You should write to Netflix and start like a little novella. I literally.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. Like, I want to do this. I'm not going to do over. Tick tock. I'm like, I need a Netflix documentary about what the I've been through because.

[B]

This is just like a movie made out of this. But I did. So what made you choose? Because I. I think I saw on one of your videos that you said that you, like, didn't initially want to go through his phone. Like, you. It was almost like you had this gut instinct that you knew you were gonna find something.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So, like, what was like that final straw? That was like that pull for you to finally do.

[A]

It was the phone call that we had the, the weekend of his birthday. He called. I say emotional. Let's. He called me crying and it was a really random phone call of him crying. And then he was like, I hung. He hung up. Like he had to go and he was like, sorry. Like it's just like a mood swing. Like that's it. And I'm like, at this point it's weird because this is something that you keep on, like, oh, I'm in this mood. So like I'm supposed, like, I don't know, like, what is the mood then? Like you keep doing this. Yeah. Every, every week we're talking about this mood that you're in and it's like, okay, what the fuck is going on? So that phone call that we had the weekend of his birthday, he called me randomly crying and I was like, fuck that, I'm going to the phone. That was. That was it because you're not calling me crying for no reason.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So really? So you know, then I find out in the DMs that he's basically been cheating on me basically the entire relationship. Girls are coming forward left and right for like the past few months. I mean, they haven't recently, thank God, but like when this first was all, you know, on social media, whatever.

[B]

So since you guys got together, he has been just non stop cheating or was it more like when you guys were married?

[A]

Basically? No, like from what I know at this point because he can't have a sit down conversation and tell me the full truth. But girls have come forward to me telling me that he was trying to meet up with me after we just got married. Like, so at this point he's just cheated on me the entire relationship and I look like an idiot thinking I have like this great man showing him off on social media. He's a great stepfather or father to my son. And this is what you're doing behind my back. So I'm showing you off for what is.

[B]

Yeah, I feel like that is like the ultimate betrayal right there too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like you're taking on this role with. Not with my child. You know, like he looks at you as like another father figure and this is the shit that you do to me like behind my back. And then the fact that like people knew about it around you. I don't know. How do you deal with that? That's like that.

[A]

I don't know. Like I can't even. Thank God I moved away. I live in Jersey now, by the way, for everyone. I was about to say we were living in New York and I was like, I need to get out of here. So now I'm in Jersey City, which is not far. I can gladly walk outside and not see a single side piece on the street like I used to see. Because now that I know who these girls are, it's like now I have.

[B]

Run into them or something. You don't want to freaking run into.

[A]

Them too many times.

[B]

It's almost like reliving the situation all the time. So sometimes it is good to have just like a little fresh start. And you're not too far from New York, too. Like, you can still go into the city and everything.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Which I love so much. And I'm able to, like, we can bring the kids back and forth. It's. It's easy. So.

[B]

Yeah, that's good. Okay.

[A]

So.

[B]

So you immediately were like. Which I'm actually really proud of you because I feel like a lot of people, you know, like I said earlier, some people don't even have, like, the resources and a lot of people don't have the strength, honestly, sometimes to like, leave that first time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, you can't really judge a lot of people for that. Like, it's. I can only imagine how hard it is. I can imagine how hard it was for you to just be like, right, no, like this. I'm not dealing with this. Like, I got all the evidence I need. I'm going to be out. So kudos to you because I feel.

[A]

Like, yeah, I think I'm able to do that for a few reasons. Like, I've already. I'm 31 years old now. Like, I know my worth. I know whatever to the table. Like, I've matured. I do not tolerate cheating. Have I took back a man in the past? Yes. But once I found my husband, I was like, I would never do that again. I'm, you know, I know my worth. So I'm not gonna stay with a man who's cheating on me. And I don't care if it's like, if it was. If I had found this out, like the first time, I would have left him a long time ago. So I wish that, like, one girl would have came forward and told me, but everyone, everyone either, like, wanted to keep it a secret or they think it's a flex to be with the influencer's man. Like, bitches are so weird and disgusting. So, I mean, that's why I'm like.

[B]

I wish is so nasty. And, you know, like, the whole cardi B and offset thing. I saw something the other day and she. She had mentioned that too. She was like, I don't know why, like, bitches are so eager to, like, want to mess with my man, you know? Like, she's like, I don't know if it's because of, like, my status or things like that. And I feel like that has to do a lot with, like, the influencer world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, people will have, like, I don't want to say, like, animosity towards you or maybe they're jealous of you. So, like, to have something that you have right. Is like, it makes them feel like if they have one up on you or something.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

But girls are so weird. Like, it's just disgusting.

[A]

Like, I just.

[B]

I would never want something that belongs to somebody else. Like, that's not.

[A]

It's so sad.

[B]

It is sad. And it's like the same way you get them is like, the same way you're going to lose them. So it makes you think 100% wouldn't do the same thing to you, Silly goose.

[A]

Because he will.

[B]

Silly goose.

[A]

He sure will. A lot. I swear, a lustful man cannot be stopped.

[B]

That is very true.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So, like, what were those days like and. Or like, even just those weeks for you after that, like, emotionally it was such a blur.

[A]

Like, I did, like, the saddest part of my life. Like, depressed, didn't leave the house, couldn't get out of bed. It. I didn't eat. Like, I. I've also shared on social media, like, the first. I think it was like, two weeks, I lost like 15 pounds or something like that. Or eight days, I lost 15 pounds. Like, I lost. I could not eat. So I lost that much weight in a short amount of time. And then, like, for that entire month, I lost a total of £25 because I was sick to my stomach. Because you don't think your husband's gonna cheat on you. And people are always like, oh. Like, how do you not know? Like, there has gotta be signs. There's not signs. When he's good at it, props to him. He's good at that. He's good at lying and manipulating and faking his whole personality and who. And who he is.

[B]

That's what I was.

[A]

Cause I'm like, go ahead. We're Puerto Rico. You're Puerto Rican, right? We're Puerto Rican. We're crazy. And we're on top of our man. This, this and that. Like, I have scenarios in my head. Right. For me, I'm ready. Right for me, like, I'm. Even if I'm just, like, lying and joking, I'm like, but are you talking to another girl? Like, I feel like I'm pretty much on him with that, but clearly not.

[B]

Yeah, that was. I was gonna ask you too. Like, were there any red flags that you feel like you might have missed?

[A]

Because there are, now that I think about it. Because I would say, like, I'm saying, like, I say things as a joke because I'm joking, but I'm like, nah. But I'm like, also not serious.

[B]

You kind of want to feel it out and see that reaction.

[A]

Right? Like, there was this one time that he came home from work with a deodorant stain on his. The outside of his shirt. Right here. He comes home, and I'm like, oh, who was laying on you like that? Like, what, did you order it? Like, I'm joking, but also like, where the fuck is that deodorant stain coming from?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was like, oh, nothing. Like, I was just changing my shirt at work, and I looked at him, and I was just like, that's weird. Like, how would the deodorant thing be on the outside? So he. He takes a shower, as he does usually when he gets home from work, and I look. He puts the shirt in the dirty clothes. I look at it, I take a picture of it, and I'm just like. I just, like, hold it as evidence. So I wasn't like, nah, he's not cheating on me. Like, yeah. But now I'm like, I should have checked that a long time ago then. Yeah.

[B]

Like, that probably was one of the little scenarios that you just missed.

[A]

Yep. And then there was another time that this is me, like, being crazy, just thinking about something random, making it up. But he came home from work again, and our dog is barking. He never barks when he comes home. Like, he's excited to see him, but he's barking but, like, not going to him. And I'm like. In my head, I'm like, imagine he smells like another dog.

[B]

Yes. I was just about to say that, because dogs are so good with that.

[A]

He did. Because this girl has a dog. So he must have smelled like the dog, and that's what he was barking.

[B]

Giving you signs, Amber. Like, the dog was like, bitch, I got.

[A]

But I never told him this. This was just in my head. And I'm like, no, the dog is just being weird. And it's like, no, you take a.

[B]

Little things that you kind of pass. And I feel like that is like, I Don't know what it is. Like, sometimes our gut will tell us something and. But we're so eager to let it slide or be like, no, like, this camp. Like, you don't want it to be true.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, so sometimes you do kind of like, glare over those feelings, or you're just like, nah, like, that's not that he wouldn't do that. Like, nah, yeah, he's not going to do that. So did you feel. Did you feel pressure to, like, really, like, I guess, hold it together for your kids, like, while your whole world was falling apart? Because I know you're a mom and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, how does that. How did you hold it together, like, for your kids while you were going through that?

[A]

So I remember I had the day that, like, I kicked him out. And the day. I swear it was such a blur. So, like, I kicked him out, whatever. And then, like, when a couple hours, I obviously couldn't go to sleep, but my son went back to sleep. When he woke him up, I was like, I'm really sorry that you had to hear that last night, but I just told him straight up. I said, I found out that Daddy was cheating on me and I kicked him out. And that's what happened. Like, because I can't lie and be like, oh, excuse the argument from last night. Like, no, he heard everything.

[B]

Yeah. Like, nothing happens.

[A]

And he's 13, so he knows what's going on. And so I told him. I was like, mommy's gonna be sad for a little while, but, like, I'm gonna be fine. Like, I'll. You know, I'll pull it through. I'll try my best.

[B]

So, like, that, like, was he.

[A]

He doesn't. Yeah, he doesn't talk about it, but I know he's very upset over it. And. Yeah. It's just hard because he. Even if. Yeah, even if you want me to talk about it, he's just not. He'd just rather not talk about it. And.

[B]

Yeah, well, he probably knows, like, it's gonna hurt you, too. Like, he's like. Sees you going through it. I know, but I bring this up to her.

[A]

I know especially because, like, in the beginning, a lot, he used to just, like, see me randomly crying, and he'd be like, what's wrong? And I'm like, nothing. He goes, daddy. I'm like, yeah. And that's it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's so sweet.

[B]

I know he's enough for you.

[A]

Yeah. So, like, he's very aware. We don't. But it's like, a little bit over a Year later. So I'm sure, you know, I hope you can tell that I'm doing better. Yeah, no, my daughter's. She's so clueless about what's going on. But like, yeah, she, she's, she's cute. She also like loves and misses her and mommy and daddy together. So like every time, like, we do drop offs or whatever. Yeah. She like, wants us to hug and she, you know, we're her world.

[B]

So she like, I want that old thing back. And you like, girl, no, please.

[A]

Never get right. Absolutely not. Sorry. Girl.

[B]

What is this custody schedule? Like, do you guys have like 50? 50?

[A]

No. So he just gets the kids every other weekend.

[B]

Oh, okay. Wow, that's crazy. I feel like in Jersey and like New York, that's kind of like standard for like dads and stuff. But here, where I live in Delaware, everything is 50, 50.

[A]

See, but I don't even get how that would work out because he. They have to go to their school, so it's not like he could take them anyway, especially if they go to school over here now.

[B]

And yeah, he still lives in New York, so, like.

[A]

Yeah, but also he works, so it's like he's not even available to like take the kids to school or pick them up. It would, it would be really weird. It would even work out. I'm the one. I work from home. I do content creation. So I'm able to pick them up, drop them off, go to all the sporting stuff, the doctor's appointments. Like, he can't because he works. So 50. 50 doesn't even make sense.

[B]

It doesn't work for you guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What did your healing look like for you? Like, not just the Instagram version, like the messy version. Like, what were some things that you really had to, to work through to be like, I have to heal myself.

[A]

Yeah. So in the beginning, just stayed in bed crying, you know, talking to family members about it, just being home. And it was so bad that I had to seek therapy and they ended up putting me on Zoloft because I was having anxiety. Like, I would wake up with anxiety all day, have anxiety. Like my, Like, I feel like I. To the point where I thought I was going to die and I was like, no, I need to get on medication. I need to get help. So thank God I was able to get my medication.

[B]

Have you had anxiety before?

[A]

No, I've never dealt with anxiety. And I used to, I used to hear how people were like, talking about it. I'm just like, huh? Like, what is that?

[B]

Yeah, like, can't I know.

[A]

I know, right? I know what that is now that I completely understand. And so I've had anxiety, like, my whole life.

[B]

And that shit, it sucks. But I'm so glad that you went to therapy and, like, yeah. Even just going on medications, that can be really hard for people because you never know what to expect. Like, you don't know if it's gonna make you worse or it's gonna make you better. Like, so I feel like that taking the chance on that and being like, listen, I need to do something, because it must. It's hard. Like, if you can't get out of bed, you can't eat, like, you can't think, like, you can't do anything. Like, you have to. And I tell people all the time, like, don't be ashamed of looking for those resources, you know? Like, some people need to medicate for a little bit, and that's okay. You know, I think people. There's such, like, a bad stigma around, like, medication and like, oh, if you're depressed, like, don't get on anything or don't do this. And I'm like, yeah, I'm just. I'm a. I'm a full blown advocate. Like, if you need it, you need it, right?

[A]

I'm like, I love it. Like, I need to take my happy pills.

[B]

That's why I call them your happy pills.

[A]

I'm like, I have an attitude.

[B]

I need my.

[A]

I need my pills.

[B]

Let me just pop my pill.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I'm not feeling like myself right now.

[A]

I know. For real, because sometimes, like, I'll miss a couple days, and I'm just like, is this because I miss my medication? Like, should I, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't keep on forgetting. But no.

[B]

Okay, so you're still on it, too?

[A]

I'm still on it, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. But I'm thinking this might be, like, my last bottle. I just want to, like, finish it and, like, see how I am. But that's also another scary thing. I'm like, will I feel this again when I get off of it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I don't know. We'll see. But, yeah, so in the beginning, you know, I got my medication, went to therapy. I was going. I would hang out with anybody. I don't care who you are, you want to hang out, let's go outside. Like, let's go to the bar, let's go drink. Right? That's what I. Right. That's what I was doing. And that doesn't help because as soon as I'd be coming home crying, Crying, crying, crying, crying. I remember last year, like in August, because we had broke up in July, I went to Boston, time of my life over there. Like, hanging out with my friends from high school. That drive home was so sad. I was, like, crying the whole way home because I was so depressed. And then eventually that just kind of started to die out. And then I ended up meeting or I got close with another old friend of mine who was also going through a breakup. So I've been hanging out with her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot instead of just hanging out with anybody. Because all those people that are like, were there for me in the beginning, they're nowhere to be found now. So it's like, like, yeah, are you true, my friend? Or you just want, like, updates of what's going on and of like the tea and stuff? Yeah.

[B]

And it's also nice to have friends who, like, I mean, not that. Not that it's nice that they're going through the same thing.

[A]

No, Yeah, I know, but it is.

[B]

Nice to have someone that you. Yeah, exactly. Like, it's nice to have that. That I can talk to you and you.

[A]

You just.

[B]

You get it. Like, you understand. Like, I don't have to, like, overly explain what I'm going through.

[A]

Right. Or I can talk about it over and over. And you don't care because. Yeah. Because you're going through it. You understand?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, and that's another reason why I. I talk about it on social media a lot because I'm like, I'm still getting new followers that are just, like, just catching up or like, they're still going through it. And like, I also don't like to make it seem like, oh, I'm perfectly fine now, like, even though I'm doing a lot better. I have a new car, a new place. I'm, you know, I'm in Jersey now. It's great, but I'm still hurting. Like, it doesn't mean it's a journey. Yeah.

[B]

Like, healing and growing is not linear. Like, I just started listening to this. This book yesterday in my car, and she said that, and I literally wrote that in my notes. And I was like, that's such a good take to have on life. Because I always say, like, there's a healed version of me and then there's a non healed version of me, and you're never gonna see one at just. Just at once. Like, you're always gonna get both versions of me. Yeah. No matter how much therapy I've had, no matter how much growth I've had, like, I'M still, We're always healing.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Every day is, is, is a journey and.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And I, you know, I, I started going to the gym a lot now I like can't picture my life, like not going to the gym because before I wasn't going. Like, I'd say I want to go, but never fully went. I started going and yeah, I need to get.

[B]

I have a gym down here, bitch. I have a whole. And she does not get touched.

[A]

She's.

[B]

She's growing cobwebs.

[A]

Like, it's bad.

[B]

I'm like, yo, I have shit that people go and like pay for a membership for. Like, I have it here and I don't use it. I need, I need.

[A]

Well, you look good. You look so good. I need your motivation.

[B]

No, but like, you know when you just want, like, I want to fucking. I want abs. I want abs and I want a toned, like, Yes. I want to look like I go to the gym.

[A]

I'm trying to get that gym booty. Like those glutes. That's my goal for next time.

[B]

That's what I want. Like the booty and the thighs, Like, I want, want them to like look really toned and like, okay, she goes to the gym. Like, she does her squats. Like, that's what I want.

[A]

That's my goal.

[B]

My friend's like, you've been trying to lock in since last year. Like, I've been telling her, we gotta pick it. I'm like, we gotta pick a day. And then we just like do it. She's like, I'm still waiting for you. I'm like, I promise I'll get there, right?

[A]

Well, that was me.

[B]

But now that I'm like, I go.

[A]

To the gym, I'm like, I. If I don't go, I feel terrible. Like, what's wrong with me? Like, I need to be going to the gym. So like, that feels good. Because before, I mean, I love content creation. I could really lock. If I'm like filming videos, like, I just lock myself in and I'm just, it's non stop. And so I won't even like bother going to the gym because I'm like locked into the videos. So it's like nice to get out the house, move your body. Because if not, I'll be sitting at this desk all day.

[B]

No, definitely. I think that's a good outlet. I think that's a good outlet for anyone who's like going through something. Like, I always, you know what's so funny? Like, you know, when it hits new Year, and people are like, oh, like, I'm going to the gym. Like, that's when everyone wants to start.

[A]

Going to the gym. Yeah.

[B]

I used to always, like, judge people who would do that, but now I'm like, as I'm older, I'm like, I get it. Because even, like, even in the beginning of the year, towards the end of the year, I'm like, I need something different. Like, I need motivation. Like, I feel like we're all burnt out by, like, the end of the year with, like, the holidays and stuff. Totally understand. I might be that bitch that just, like, I. I'm just gonna start working out. Like, I just need that motivation. What helped you most in, like, rebuilding your confidence?

[A]

I can honestly say just sharing my story on social media, because I don't know anybody that's ever gone through this. So when I first opened up and shared about it, because, like, I said, we broke up in July, but I didn't share with my audience until October. So when I. When I shared, it felt like a huge relief that now I can talk to so many people that are going through the same thing or have experienced this because in my personal life, I'm the first one to be getting divorced that their husband had the secret double life. Like, I don't know anybody going through this. So that's why I'm really happy that I shared my story on social media. And, you know, now lots of women, like, look up to me. I'm inspiring to them, and I love so much. Like, I get messages, the sweetest messages, all the time. And that's why I try to be, like, very vocal about. On social media. Yeah. I mean, I do a mix of, like. Like, shady and inspirational.

[B]

You do? I love it. But that's. It's like, pretty and petty, like. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Pretty petty as fuck.

[B]

I think that's what really drew me to you too, because I'm kind of like that. Like, I. Yeah, I just love that. And I was just like. Because it's so real. Like, yeah, you want to be mature about the situation, but also, like, no, like, I'm gonna be petty about it because I can.

[A]

Yeah, like. Right, Exactly. It's like. It's like, what did you think you was getting yourself into?

[B]

Yeah, like, sometimes that. That's what it takes. Like, were you a little reluctant to, like, talk about your story on social media at first? Like, in the beginning? Okay. Once I talk about this, like, everyone's gonna know.

[A]

Like, so I wasn't embarrassed of me. I was more happy to expose him so, like, no, not.

[B]

I'm not saying, like, I don't want you to think I'm telling you that you were embarrassed. It's just like putting it out to the public. So, like, once they know, it's everybody's business. You know what I mean? Like, there's so many opinions and, like, everyone's gonna have their take. Like, no.

[A]

Yeah. Which is why I didn't share in the beginning, of course, because I couldn't even get out of bed. So for me to make Instagram post. Hell no. If I were to post something as soon as it happened, I'd be like, on my story. Yeah.

[B]

I'd be like, that bitch.

[A]

Like, I would be.

[B]

Yeah. Like, no control. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So I just didn't say anything for a little bit, but then people started to message me and like, are you single? Because they'd be like, where's your ring? Why are you going out all of a sudden?

[B]

Like, I get that time too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I, I, I literally just. I don't barely wear. But people are always like, where's your ring? And I'm like, bro, like, sometimes people don't wear their ring.

[A]

I never. Right? And I don't wear in the house. If I'm in the house. Like, I don't wear it. Yeah, I just.

[B]

Well, I just got a new one and it's different from my old one. And I got like a. It's not a diamond. Like, I got like a moonstone. Like, I got it from this random company that I like. And I told my husband, I was like, I love this ring. I was like, I feel like my other one, it doesn't reflect, like, me anymore, like, my personality or anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was like, can I get this one? He was like, I don't care. Like, you the one that gotta wear it. Like, if you want to get it, get it. So I bought it. But it's like, it's hard. Like, I can't have it in water. I can't do it. And like, my other one, I was able to, like, I could wear all fucking day. I could wear it, shower, whatever. So whenever I take it off for anything, like, if I'm washing my hands or anything, I forget to put it back on.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So everyone immediately. Yeah, exactly. So sometimes I just leave it off for the day if I know I'm going to be working with my hands a lot and stuff. And if I'm filming something, God forbid, everyone's like, oh, my gosh, she's divorced. Like, you. I've been Divorced for like six years. Years now. Like, I swear, like, I'm like, yo, I didn't know this, but I'm like, yo, like, not everybody wears their rings. But I guess because I. I went from like wearing it all the time to now I don't really.

[A]

It's also, I feel like you. Something you have to get used to. So, like, I'm a very, like, yeah, hoops and necklace type of girl.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I can see you are too. So, like, I had to get used to wearing my ring.

[B]

So, like, I feel. Sometimes I feel naked without it. But then I'm like, if I put it back on now, I gotta take it off in like 10 minutes because I gotta do this. Like, it's just, it's such a process. And some. I told him I was like, I'm about to just start wearing my old one again. Because, yeah, I was like, this is like too much.

[A]

Yeah, we just wear it outside basically whenever. But yeah. Yeah. People, my followers wouldn't. Daughters, like, where's your hanging? Yeah, where are you going? Outside more. Where's. Where is he? Like, they haven't seen him. And I'm like, I don't even post them like that anyway. So like. But I, I don't know. People just. People aren't dumb. They know.

[B]

Yeah. They just know what's going on.

[A]

Yeah. Especially if I'm like, oh, I'm a stay at home mom and a wife and I'm doing like home stuff. All of a sudden, you outside, it's.

[B]

Like, yeah, like, if you're adding up, girl. Right. So was there like a specific moment where you kind of realized, like, you know what? I'm okay. Like, I'm. I think I'm. I'm good. Like, I think I'm gonna be fine. What was that moment that, that hit you like that?

[A]

So I think for me is. Because I. What is it? Like, I are. I'm already established and like, I'm. I would say. What do you, what do you call, like, the word? I don't know. I can't think of the word. But like, I'm. I make my own money. I don't depend on it. Right.

[B]

Independent.

[A]

I don't. Right. I don't depend on him for really, really much anything. When we, you know, shared bills, it was like me and him, which is fine because we're a partnership. So you were always more on the breadwinner then? No, I wouldn't say always. I do have to give him credits because in the beginning, obviously, it's social media. You don't make money like that in the beginning. So in the beginning, we were obviously living off of just him. It was a struggle. But eventually, as my social media grew, I started making more money than. I became the biggest breadwinner, which. So I would take over more of the bills, which is fine. Like, we're a partnership. I have no problem with that.

[B]

No, I can definitely. Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Once I started, like, when I started, like, 10 years ago, no one was really making money on social media, so we relied on a lot of his income and everything. But now. Thankful. Yeah.

[A]

So now, like, you know, I knew that I'd be fine because I'm like, I pay the bills anyway. Like, I'll be fine. It's just like, you're just so hers. Like, yeah, I have, you know, this and that. And, like, financially I'm okay, but it's like, my heart is broken. I don't have a feeling family. My dad's or my kid's dad doesn't come home. Like, that's sad. But, you know, I.

[B]

Do you have, like, any other family.

[A]

That live around you? I do have my brothers that live in New York, in the city still, so they're not far. And then my mom is an hour and a half upstate, so she's always back and forth here. She's here, like, every weekend. So, like, I have my family around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, I mean, like, I knew I'd be fine. It's just, like, it sucks that this situation happened to me because it's like, for what? Like, you would think that I was the worst wife you could ever think of, and I'm just like, what. What did I do to deserve this thing?

[B]

You can't think that. Like, it's not you.

[A]

It's him.

[B]

He's a broken man, you know, like, he was never ready to obviously be a husband. And.

[A]

Yeah, it sucks.

[B]

You get. Yeah, it sucks because you feel like you get the shit end of the stick. Because it's like, I've dedicated my life to you. I dedicated so much to you. And then for you to go and do this, like, I don't. I wish men would just leave women the fuck alone. Like, if that's how you're gonna act, like, if you're gonna cheat and you want to do it, like, be single. Like, be fucking real about it. Like, especially if he was doing it since the beginning, like, why put yourself.

[A]

In a situation, right?

[B]

Like, it's at that point, like, you're not. Like, you're fucking up a whole family. Like, you Guys have a family, you know, like, it's not just one person that you have to think about. It's like these kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I feel like that's the most, like, selfish part.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That men don't think about.

[A]

Yeah. Because they just think about themselves.

[B]

But your glow up has been so damn real. Like, you're thankful. Divorce glow up has been so real. And I know it's, it's. It sucks. Like, it's like, I don't want to have like a divorce glow up.

[A]

But no, seriously, that's like, that's something that kind of triggers me. I'm just like, everyone's like, oh, my gosh, you look so good. But I'm just like, I've cried to get this back. That's why I'm like, I don't want.

[B]

To trigger you, but your glow up really is real. Thank you. Thank you. I feel like from when I started following you till now, like, even I can see it. And it's crazy because I don't know you like that. Like, we've never even hung out before.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I can see you, like, just like, regaining your confidence and like.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Just becoming some, like, more of yourself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, what is this new version of you? What is this new version of you represent?

[A]

This new version of me represents loving yourself, knowing your worth, that you do not need a man. I can do all this by myself. I've been a single mom already before with my son, before I my daughter. So, like, I'm kind of. I'm used to this. I mean, back then I was young, so it's like, I would co parent with my mom, but I'm not used. I'm not unfamiliar with the single mom lifestyle. Like, I've done this before. I knew I could do it again, but now I'm like, really focusing on myself and, like, I'm trying to eat better. I'm like, I said, I'm going to the gym. Like, it's just really all about me. I'm dressing up. I see people. I don't want people to think like, oh, she never dressed up for her husband. Like, yes, the I did. I'm just able to, like, get what you mean. I'm just able to spend more on myself and, like, buy new clothes and, you know, a lot more than, like, prioritize yourself. Right. A lot. Right. Than like, being like, oh, let me not spend anything because, you know, of this or whatever. So it's really just all about me and my kids and making the best memories and giving them I still want to give them a great life. Like, I don't want them to think, oh, because Daddy's not around. Like, they can't still go on vacations and be spoiled. And I'm still gonna do that. And they're gonna realize, you know, that Mommy did that.

[B]

No, that. Like, that. And that's a flex. Like, that is such a flex.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So how do you balance, like, protecting their peace while still, like, trying to be honest about what happens? Like, do you feel like eventually, like, as your daughter gets older, you're gonna tell her the situation or you just kind of just gonna let her figure it out on her own?

[A]

I feel like she might, like, pick it up on one day, like, and, like, realize. I mean, like, I don't know if you've. I feel like a lot of people have this realization of, like, who their parents are when they get older and, like, the truth about them. So I feel like she's gonna realize that. But if I were. If she were to ask, I would love to tell her again. I don't know if I'm sure he's gonna be like, I wanna be there, so, you know, we can both talk to her together. So he doesn't think that, like, I'm just putting him down and stuff. But, yeah, you can't say anything nice about the situation. Like, it is what it is. Yeah. You did this, right? You did this. And you're. And you're actually so lucky that she's so young to understand, because if she was old enough, I don't think that she would even talk to him.

[B]

She would want a relationship, right?

[A]

Because me and Maya are so close. Like, that's my little girl. So I don't even think that she would want to talk to him.

[B]

I feel like my daughter would fuck my husband up if she found out. Like, she would want to fight because she's 10, but.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But, like, that. That's definitely the relationship that you have, like, with your daughter. Like, it's so ride or die, like, right. Like, my dad. And when my. When my dad and my mom split, like, I just. I was. I went from being such a daddy's girl. Like, I was always ride or die for my dad. But then once all that shit happened with him and my mom and I started, like, seeing him for who he was. Like, I was already at the age where I was catching on to everything.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then I started realizing, okay, he's the problem. Like, he ended up being with so many other women after and not being able to keep A relationship. And he would get them pregnant and not even tell me. Bitch. Like, I would find out at, like, the baby showers that she did when women were pregnant. Yeah. So, like, I just started, like, after him and my mom split. Like, I didn't want, like, anything to do with, like, I got, like, disgust from him, you know, like, it was just almost like I was so cringe by him, and I was just like. I didn't look at him as, like, a man anymore or, like, my dad, like, that. That guy.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Because for me, he was like a hero. And after all of that, I was just like, I don't even know who the fuck you are anymore.

[A]

Exactly. Because I think. I mean, my parents were never together, but I could imagine if I had a mom and dad at home and my dad was cheating on my mom. Fuck you. I'm not talking to you exactly.

[B]

Like, you're gonna be like, you decided.

[A]

Right. If you decided to cheat on mom, that means you're cheating on all of us, so.

[B]

Yes, exactly. Like, you're doing it not just to her, to the family. Yeah, like, that's my thing. Like, that would be.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's just too much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So what do you hope, like, your kids learn from seeing you move through this? Because I feel like you're moving through it with such strength.

[A]

Thank you. I'm like, I really hope that, like, my biggest thing is, like, I don't want my son to be like him and, like, think, you know, because especially, like, having no father figure at home for him, it's like, I don't want him to think that, like, this is normal or, like, it's okay. So, like, my biggest thing is, like, I don't want you to turn out to be, like, a cheater.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then on top of that, since now he's watching his single mom do everything, I don't want to think that women have to do everything in the house, because. No, they don't. So I was like, I need to, like, obviously raise him right and, like, hope he doesn't end up being, like, one of those men, because that would make me sad. And, you know, also to not tolerate cheating, like, from man or woman, from my daughter or my son. Like, if anybody cheats on you, goodbye. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you didn't. You didn't see me stay with daddy after he cheated because there's. There's too many men and women, like, Right.

[B]

Instilling that in them. And I think overall, I think they'll. They'll be fine. Like, I don't think he's gonna end up like his dad. Like, especially. Especially if he has you to, like, look up to. Like, I feel like you're doing such a great job.

[A]

I'm trying my hardest. Thank you.

[B]

You're obviously all over TikTok Instagram. Like, you do a lot of beauty content. Like, you do sprinkle in, like, your motherhood stuff, which I love, and your vlogs and everything. So, like, what inspired you to start posting again after the divorce? Or, like, maybe just differently after that.

[A]

So afterwards. Because before, it was mostly just like, beauty contents at about sprinkle in, like, the motherhood stuff. But then once I've seen how much I grew from sharing my story, then I realized that so many women were going through the same thing. Yeah. So that every day I was like, what can I post today? And, like, most of it will be shady, because I know the shady posts get the engagement. So I'd be like, what can I post today? And so I just, like, wake up. And, like, I think my followers are my motivation because, like, they really hype me up.

[B]

For sure. They do.

[A]

Right? So, yeah, it's. It's.

[B]

I love that for you that sometimes. But then I'm like, Like, it's nice to have a little community. Like I always say, like, the little community that, you know, you grow on social media. Like, they kind of become family in a way. Like, it's really. They do crazy.

[A]

But then. Yeah, but then I'm like, I have to switch it up because I'm also not a negative person, and I don't want it to come across that, like, I hate life and all this. So, like, I have toned it down, and I always still think about, like, the brand side. It's like, like, she's talking about her.

[B]

Baby daddy, which we have to think about. Right.

[A]

Right. She's talking crap about her baby daddy, but then, like, she's doing her lip combo. Like, it just doesn't make sense.

[B]

Listen, they need to get with the times.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, let a put on her lip combo while she vents about her baby dad. Like, it is what it is.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So you feel like your followers have definitely grown with you through this chapter.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

I love that for you. So what advice would you give to women who are scared to start after a divorce or even after just a relationship ends?

[A]

I would say that you can finally focus on yourself and the healing is a journey that is not linear. And so, you know, people have to. Or. I feel like women. Because, you know, with social media, we're like, comparing ourselves, and we're not this, we're not that. And it's like, it's. It doesn't have to be that way. Focus on yourself, especially if you have kids. It's like, my kids is my biggest motivation. So, like, everything I do is for them. And so I don't. I don't even know if I didn't have kids. I'm like, I don't even know where it would be, to be honest, because they're like. They're the reason why I, like, wake up every day.

[B]

You have to, like, get harder.

[A]

Yeah. And push harder. If not, if I have to be a bum, like, laying in the bed, like, depressed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I say that.

[B]

I say that a lot too, because I go through. I have, like, some mild depression. So even if I go through my episodes and I. It makes me want to stay in bed and stuff. And, like, I have my partner who pushes me, but overall, that's not enough to, like, get me out of bed. Like, my kids are what's gonna get. Because you have to get shit done. Like, regardless, no matter how you feel, whether you're sad, depressed, anxious, no matter what, you have to get up and do your mom, like, it doesn't stop.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, Maya's asking me for a snack as I'm crying. I'm like, okay, give me a snack.

[B]

It's like that. It's like that TikTok where it's like you're fucking dying and crying, and then they're like, Dairy Queen closes. Yeah, like, it's literally that, right? So every time I see that, like a TikTok of that, I fucking die laughing. Because I'm like, this is literally motherhood. Like, this is what it's like to be a mom. Like, if anyone doesn't have kids, like.

[A]

Like, that's what it is.

[B]

It don't. You could be going through the meanest breakdown of your life. Your kid's gonna be in the background asking you for a fucking snack. Like, they don't care.

[A]

They do not care. Everything's on their timing.

[B]

Exactly. So what does happiness look like for you today? Like, what is happiness for Amber today?

[A]

I think. Okay, I love this question because I really enjoy. I try to romanticize, like, little things. Like, when I wake up every morning, I love making my coffee. Like, first of all, I'm in this brand new apartment that I've only dreamed of. Because if you see, and I'm sure you see my old apartment or whoever has been following for a long time like it was not cute and you know, it was just like a very dark apartment. It wasn't very like much window lighting. It was just like that.

[B]

The lighting makes such a big difference.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

In your mood and everything.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. So now like I have amazing lighting in here. So just like waking up here makes. It brings me peace. So like I. I'll romanticize making my coffee in the morning. I love taking them to school. Like because now we drive to school but I don't have to like walk them. So like that little five minute drive to school and then. Yeah, just like little things. And I'm just, you know, happy that I'm able to get out of bed now because before I wasn't. Before I couldn't, you know, get out of bed. I couldn't go to the gym, nothing. I was so depressed. So now just those little things mean everything. And I, like, it might not sound like much, but like. No, it is.

[B]

Like I always say, like as cliche as it sounds, like the little things do change.

[A]

Matter.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, they matter. And it changes how you look at like everyday life, you know?

[A]

Yeah. And then like I have content creation is my full time job and I love it so much and I'm able to, you know, come home after I drop off the kids, go to the gym, come home, do my work, which doesn't feel like work. Oh, there's my light shutting off.

[B]

Which does it feel?

[A]

It doesn't feel. It doesn't feel like work because I love playing with makeup. Like, it's just so much fun. So. Yeah.

[B]

You know, you're just, you're doing what you love.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're having a damn good time. You're romanticizing your life.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

It's so important to like romanticize the little things in your life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I feel like also it, I don't want to say like it creates delusion, but sometimes delusion is good. Like sometimes you have to like train your brain into being like, I. I'm so delusional and I don't give a fuck, like I'm going to do it or I'm going to think this until it's true. Like you have to like trick your brain into thinking that sometimes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Because it will be true.

[B]

Yep, exactly. It's like manifestation, you know?

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

So what's next for you? Like personally, professionally, what do you have going on?

[A]

Okay, so right now the holidays are coming up. So really every year I do like this special Christmas theme. So I'm not gonna share it right now. You'll have to find out during the holidays. Yes. Wait, do you vlog vlogmas? No, I can't. I used to. I cannot anymore. I don't know, maybe I could try it.

[B]

That is such dedication. I used to post on YouTube like every week. Like, I would do a video every week, but now that I have the podcast and stuff, like, it's getting harder for me to even just post like a vlog every week. So I'm like, the fact that people post every day on like for December is insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Editing alone takes, like, so long.

[A]

And I'm like, no, seriously, I've done vlogmas in the past when I was doing YouTube heavy. But I. But it wasn't even every day. I'd be like, I'd record every day and then at the end of the week, post that vlog. Because I'm like, who's editing, uploading all this in one day? And like, I'm a mom and a wi fi. I don't have time for that. Yeah. But I don't know, maybe you just give me an idea. Maybe I'll do it for like, tick tock, like little mini vlogs or something like that.

[B]

You should do like little, like, you know, like how they do like the little mini gift sets and like Sephora and Ulta.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

Like, just get like a mini set and do like 10 days where you just try like all the sets or something.

[A]

Yeah, because that's a cute idea.

[B]

I feel like. I feel like I always buy sets for people, but sometimes I'm like, I want to see them or like, how they work or like, what, like, how much product is it, you know, like.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So that would be kind of cute. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm gonna do too. But, like, I'm always. I feel like I always say, like, oh, for the holidays I'm gonna do this and then I'm gonna do this video. And then. Right. I end up getting so, like, bombarded with stuff. Even just like school stuff with Eve.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They got so much going on.

[A]

It's a lot. Right?

[B]

It's a year.

[A]

Right? It's a lot. So I feel like this time of year is. It's hard for everyone. But it's also my daughter's birthday, so she's turning 6. I gotta figure that out. And then in January is my birthday. So, like, this is a time where I'm like, planning a vacation. So I'm like, where am I gonna go? I want to go with the kids. Oh. But as far as. As far as work wise, I'm coming out with something kind of san. I just. Just can't say yet.

[B]

Well, you had came out with merch, right?

[A]

Yes, I have merch.

[B]

Can you tell us what the merch is?

[A]

Yeah, we should have talked about that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have merch that is inspired by my divorce because, like I said, I. I grew so much from sharing my story and so many people were, like, going through the phone as well. I have. I made sweaters that say, go through this. Go through his phone. The other one says, whoever's dating my ex, all I can say is, she first. I think it's so funny because it's.

[B]

Like that you're monetizing. That is like.

[A]

Right? Like, hello.

[B]

You're such a queen.

[A]

Right? It's. It's so true. Like, actually, you need to listen to the sweater because you cheat first, actually, before you get with him. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Don't wait to get your lick back. Just do it.

[A]

Just do it first before he does it, because it's gonna get done.

[B]

I love that verse.

[A]

Yeah. So I do have that merch, but then I'm also releasing something else kind of soon, so.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's not. It's not merch, though.

[B]

Oh, is it like a collab?

[A]

It is a collab, but you can only get it in Jersey.

[B]

Oh, I'm actually going to Jersey. I think I'm going in, like, two weeks or I have to go visit my mom. I was just talking to my mom yesterday and I'm like, I haven't been down there in so freaking long.

[A]

So. Yeah, if you come to Jersey, then we should meet up and.

[B]

Yeah, let's have a drink or like a dinner.

[A]

Drinks. We'll do girls May dinner, huh? Cheese me and drinks.

[B]

All right, so this is my last question for you, and we can finish it up. Okay, so can you finish this sentence? My divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me because. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

That is a good question. Wow.

[B]

Because I know feel like divorce sometimes, you know, obviously all the time. People look at it as such a negative thing, but there's positives that can.

[A]

Come out of it. There is. There is.

[B]

You have to think about that.

[A]

Yeah. Because I am now able to just continue giving my kids a better life between us three and without worrying that I'm getting cheated on.

[B]

Yeah. So you have, like, that peace of mind now.

[A]

Yeah, it's a peace of mind. It's like, I'm not. I don't have to worry about you. Know, it's just me. I don't have to argue with anybody or like, yeah, do it this way if he wants it that way. Like, it's just, it's just us three. So it's, it's, it's peaceful.

[B]

Yeah. You have your little tribe now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wait, so do you like, see yourself ever getting remarried or are you just like done with that chapter?

[A]

I never want to get into your relationship again, but if there was some charming, if there were some miracle, I don't think I would do like a legal marriage. I think it would just be like a long term partner. I mean, you could still get me a beautiful ring, but like, as far as like legally get signed those papers. Right? We're not doing that.

[B]

I get that. All right, well, thank you so much. I had fun. Like, I'm glad that you came on here and shared your story and I hope anyone can, you know, who's going through a divorce or like any, any relationship ending, I hope they can get something from this.

[A]

And of course, I hope so too.

[B]

And grow.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you for having me. I had fun.

[B]

Of course we can do a part two soon when you're like, you know.

[A]

Yeah, like an update when I'm married.

[B]

All right, well, all right, I'm going to end this, but we can still stay on if you want. All right, guys, well, thank you for listening and I'll talk to you guys next week.

[A]

Bye.