Loving Yourself Out Loud with Jessica Battle: A Conversation on Body Image & Healing

Summary

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The Chisme Corner with Vee Rivera

"Loving Yourself Out Loud with Jessica Battle: A Conversation on Body Image & Healing"

Date: November 19, 2025
Host: Vee Rivera
Guest: Jessica Battle (Lifestyle Influencer, Podcaster, Motivational Speaker)

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Main Theme & Purpose

This heartfelt episode centers on embracing self-love, healing personal wounds, and challenging toxic body image norms, especially as women and women of color. Vee Rivera and her guest, Jessica Battle, dive into their experiences with body image, diet culture, building community, motherhood, setting boundaries, and learning the power of vulnerability and authentic connection. With a candid, no-filters-attached approach, the conversation brings together chisme (gossip), culture, healing, and the realities of being a woman in 2025.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Building Authentic Connections in a Digital World

[01:09-04:50]

• Vee and Jessica reflect on meeting as "Delaware transplants," bonding over Instagram support in a sometimes competitive influencer space.
• Jessica points out the scarcity of genuine connection online: "I always love your fashion... I think you’re dope, and I want you to know that. I wish that more people were willing to do that." [03:28]
• Both agree inspiration should be shared, not hoarded: "I love watching, getting new ideas and stuff... not necessarily taking what they're doing and duplicating it, but making it your own." —Vee [04:43]

2. The Challenges of Moving & Motherhood

[05:11–07:34]

• The two swap stories about relocating, cultural adjustment, and the impact of moving away from family support during big life changes, like pregnancy and marriage.
• Jessica explains her move to Delaware, stating, "I had an opportunity to move back home if I wanted to... I wanted to keep as much familiar as possible." [06:27]

3. Jessica’s Upbringing & Body Image Journey

[08:00–15:35]

• Jessica details a tumultuous childhood marked by familial abandonment, emotional eating, and instability after her father left: "He moved and literally started a new family, raised somebody else's children, and just basically completely forgot about us. And it devastated me." [08:22]
• Early emotional eating led to weight fluctuations and unhealthy coping: "At the time obviously didn’t understand, like, oh, I’m emotionally eating. But as I grew up, I began to realize..." [09:07]
• She highlights a hard-won truth: "Just changing your body is not really going to change your life." [14:43]

4. Debunking Toxic Diet Culture & Social Comparisons

[11:38–15:35]

• Discussion turns to societal pressure to "bounce back" post-baby, triggered by celebrity endorsements of rapid weight loss:
  • "It is so dangerous to me... let your body heal and take its time." —Vee [12:55]
• Jessica reflects on the hollowness of superficial transformation: "Your body doesn’t create the emotions that you feel. The way you think about your body creates the emotions that you feel." [15:06]
• Both stress that health is not equated to thinness.

5. Generational Cycles & Role Modeling Healthy Habits

[16:04–17:05]

• Jessica opens up about lacking positive health models growing up: "I didn’t witness anybody in my life, like, take care of themselves... Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if someone instilled healthy habits in me." [16:04]
• She emphasizes her mission: "We all get to be leaders in this world...showing the world what it looks like to really take care of yourself inside and out." [16:43]

6. Choosing Not to Have Children & Owning Your Path

[17:09–21:38]

• Jessica candidly explains her decision to remain childfree, how it was influenced by childhood loneliness, and pervasive social pressures:
  • "I desperately wanted a baby... if I have a baby, I'm going to have someone that loves me unconditionally." [17:36]
  • "I just feel like I shouldn’t have to have children because society says...that’s my duty as a woman. No, it’s not. My duty is to get this bag and go to sleep at 8pm." [21:24]
• Both deconstruct the societal expectation that a woman’s worth is tied to motherhood.

7. Navigating People-Pleasing, Boundaries, and Healing Relationships

[23:43–28:43]

• Honest talk on being empathic "people-pleasers" and learning to set boundaries:
  • "My biggest issue is that I get resentful of people when they’re not reciprocal of that." —Jessica [25:59]
  • "You cannot expect people to have the same heart as you. People don’t have the same heart as you." [28:02]
• Vee and Jessica discuss the challenge (and necessity) of learning that people won’t always reciprocate energy or support.

8. Healing Food Relationships & Self-Trust

[28:56–32:42]

• Jessica details how healing food issues requires "self-awareness and treating yourself as someone you love and respect":
  • "It requires a level of self-awareness…to pause in the moment and be like, what am I actually seeking to feel?" [28:56]
• Vee agrees: "You have to have some type of level of self-awareness to get through life." [31:07]
• They note how prioritizing oneself, especially as mothers and caretakers, is an act of self-love, not selfishness.

9. Perfectionism & Navigating Wellness Without Extremes

[32:42–35:35]

• Jessica describes her battles with all-or-nothing thinking:
  • "There are so many other options besides doing everything and doing nothing. If we see it as a scale...zero to 100, there’s 99 other percent in there." [32:47]
  • She addresses continued societal pressure to shrink herself as a plus-size woman, even as body positivity grows online.

10. Harmful Trends in "Inclusivity"

[34:19–35:35]

• Both critique brands for performative body diversity ("You want to be able to say it, but you’re not actually doing it with your heart." —Jessica [35:08])
• Conversation on the cycling of beauty trends (e.g., BBLs to "heroin chic") and the shifting standards women face.

11. Emotional Toll of the Weight Loss Journey

[37:23–41:18]

• Jessica recounts her experience of extreme weight loss before her wedding, subsequent binge eating, and the realization that "you’re addressing the wrong thing... you’re obsessed with being skinny, but not addressing what's going on within." [38:57]
• Practical advice:
  • "A smaller body is not the solution to a happier life...you have a choice to either continue to be in something that is not serving you or take the first step." [41:18, 72:45]

12. Divorce, Boundaries, and Moving Forward

[45:16–62:20]

• Jessica discusses the difficulties of going through a public divorce and the importance of protecting her ex-husband’s privacy:
  • "I want to be careful about the way I portray the people in my life." [45:31]
• Lessons learned include the necessity of honest communication and realizing the importance of not losing oneself in partnership.
• On new love: Jessica describes her current partner as someone she feels seen by, emphasizing the need for emotional availability and soul-level connection:
  • "I want someone that is emotionally available who can handle the bigness of me." [59:26]
• They both talk about shifting love languages, the reality of changing needs over time, and the myth of having to be “fully healed” before loving or being loved.

13. Advice for Starting Over

[71:09–73:26]

• Jessica shares wisdom to those scared to start over, at any stage:
  • "If you're going to be here for another day...don't you deserve to live the life you really want?" [71:14]
  • "You’re not going to have it all figured out...Let life unfold the way it’s meant to." [73:08]

14. Defining Wellness & Next Chapters

[76:36–77:50]

• Jessica’s one-word definition of wellness: "Self-compassion."
  • "We think about being healthier for so many people, it’s coming from a place of hatred towards ourselves and feeling like, not enough... But I think if we could approach wellness with self-compassion, we would realize that so much of being healthy really does start within yourself and the relationship that you have with yourself." [76:36]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Just changing your body is not really going to change your life." —Jessica [14:43]
• "Your body doesn’t create the emotions that you feel. The way you think about your body creates the emotions that you feel." —Jessica [15:06]
• "I shouldn't have to have children because society says, like, that's my duty as a woman...No, it's not." —Jessica [21:24]
• "You cannot expect people to have the same heart as you. People don't have the same heart as you." —Jessica [28:02]
• "If you're going to be here for another day... don't you deserve to live the life that you really want to live?" —Jessica [71:14]
• "I want someone that is emotionally available who can handle the bigness of me." —Jessica [59:26]
• "Wellness is self-compassion." —Jessica [76:36]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:09] - Vee introduces Jessica & their friendship origin
• [08:00] - Jessica’s childhood & emotional eating backstory
• [11:38] - Dangers of celebrity-endorsed weight loss narratives
• [15:06] - “Your body doesn’t create the emotions…”
• [21:24] - Pushing back on motherhood expectations
• [25:59] - Emotional labor & resentment in relationships
• [28:56] - Self-trust as the cornerstone for food & life choices
• [32:47] - Perfectionism and learning balance
• [34:19] - Calling out fake "inclusivity" in brands
• [38:57] - Binge cycle at her own wedding
• [45:16] - Navigating divorce & setting public/private boundaries
• [59:26] - What Jessica now looks for in a partner
• [71:14] - Advice for anyone afraid of starting over
• [76:36] - One-word definition of wellness: self-compassion
• [79:32] - Dreaming about moving back to Puerto Rico
• [80:09] - Upcoming women’s retreat in Greece

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Conclusion

Vee and Jessica keep it real—never shying away from tough truths, but always infusing the conversation with humor, warmth and deep mutual respect. Their open-hearted discussion invites listeners to heal loudly, challenge diet culture, honor boundaries, and rewrite their own rules for happiness, whether through new love, parenthood (or not!), building community, or finding wellbeing via self-compassion.

Find Jessica:

• Podcast: "Queen of Pep Talks"
• Instagram: @join_jessica_exo

Next up: Jessica heads to Greece for her sixth annual wellness retreat—living proof that honoring your healing and your “bigness” is always worth it.

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Transcript

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[Jessica Battle]

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[Podcast Host]

All right, guys. So welcome back to the Cheeseman Corner. I have a really good friend of mine here. Do you want to introduce yourself? Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

I'm Jessica Battle, a lifestyle influencer, podcaster, motivational speaker.

[Podcast Host]

I'm so excited to have you here.

[Jessica Battle]

I'm so excited for us to chat. Like, I feel like we could just yap for hours. We're like, we better get started.

[Podcast Host]

We need to get started, girl, because we hear yapping. So we met on Instagram. I remember. I don't. I don't know when we started, like, following each other, but I know when we did. You were always showing love on my post, which is really rare because you know how, like, you follow people.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Especially, like, in your niche and stuff like that. Or like, influencers. And sometimes they won't even give you a follow back or they won't show you any love. But I feel like me and you always went back and forth, and I love that because I kind of love, like, forming friendships.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. Especially in the areas organically as well.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's so hard. Like, it's so hard to form friendships, especially with what we do and on the Internet and stuff.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So I appreciate that.

[Jessica Battle]

Like, I really.

[Podcast Host]

I was like, oh, Jess is the real one. Like, she's always showing love.

[Jessica Battle]

I think one of the things that, like, drew me to you is, like, listening to your podcast and knowing you were, like, a Delaware transplant. I was also a Delaware transplant. Not close to my family here. And it's like, nobody fucking knows Delaware. Like, nobody is in Delaware. There's nothing to do here. And I was like, oh, this poor girl out here in Dover got nothing.

[Podcast Host]

To do from city girl to Delawarean, me and my sister call it. We, like little DeLoreans.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like that when she first. She moved down here last year, and in her WI fi, it says DeLorean. And I was like, it's Delawarean. And she's like, no, we're deloreans now. And it was so funny. But, yeah, being a trans transplant is super hard.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

Especially coming from where I came. It was like a culture shock. And I tell people that all the time.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And I'm like, I don't. I can't explain it unless you're actually in it. And then I also never realized how much it affected my life until I was here for a couple years.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I was like, wow, my life is really different.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. I didn't feel so much like where I grew up in Pennsylvania was similar to where I live in Delaware in terms of, like, my surroundings. But being away from my friends and family was definitely hard. Like, I don't have any friends or family that are closer than an hour away. Being here in Delaware.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

But, yeah, like, just seeing you're a Delaware transplant, like, obviously we have similar interests. Like, I always love your fashion, your hair, your makeup. I was like, I like to show support. I'm 100% a girl's girl. And, like, if I find people that I with, I'm like, I'm going to let you know I with you. Like, I think you're dope, and I want you to know that. And I wish that more people. We're willing to do that. But I think especially in the influencer space, there's, like, this feeling of, like, it. If I let you shine, it takes away from me, and I just don't feel it needs to be that way.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. It's so weird because I feel like, especially now we're living in IT where there's countless. There's endless amounts of influencers in every niche and lifestyle, makeup, beauty, like, 100% fashion. Like, there's so many. And I meet so many people who are doing the same thing as me, and I've never looked at it, like, oh, you're gonna take away from me. If anything, I feel, like, so inspired, which I love, because I've actually been connecting more with more influencers, and there's times where I get really, like. Like, I don't feel creative or I just feel like I'm in a rut, you know, and they actually give me some type of inspiration, you know, And I love watching. Getting new ideas and stuff and not necessarily taking what they're Doing and like duplicating it, but like just getting ideas and like, you know, making. Making it your own.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

Type of way.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

But I love having like that side where I can be like, oh, that was a nice idea, you know, or I like that, like getting some type of inspiration.

[Jessica Battle]

I mean, people. I feel like that's all the Internet is.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Everyone's every.

[Jessica Battle]

Everyone and creating it in your own way. And I think that there's people who are like, afraid of, like, oh, I'm copying. It's like. But that's what's happening online right now. Find a way to make it your own. Yeah. Take the trend and make it your own somehow. Like put your spin on it.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You.

[Jessica Battle]

It's fine to do that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. But it's been. It's been really nice finding, like, community. But when I first moved out here, I'm very close to my family. Like super close. Especially, like, I was pregnant out here. Like, I literally felt like I was alone even though I had Joe. Yeah. I feel like when a girl is pregnant for the first time, you want your mom.

[Jessica Battle]

You're so close with your sister. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You want your family just like, oh, my God. I didn't. And it was crazy because I was so excited about all these new things happening. Like, I was like, I'm pregnant and then I'm getting married and like I have like a new house and everything. So once all of that kind of like happened and died down, that was when I was really in my fields. Like, wow.

[Jessica Battle]

I'm.

[Podcast Host]

I feel really.

[Jessica Battle]

By yourself.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So it was like, super. Where did you.

[Jessica Battle]

I grew up in Pennsylvania, like around King of Prussia area. So not super far from where I live now. And again, like, the surroundings were very similar, but having nobody close to me, like no family or friends close to me, has definitely been challeng challenging.

[Podcast Host]

So why did you move to Delaware?

[Jessica Battle]

Because of my ex husband. I met him online. He was from Jersey, I'm from Pennsylvania. He had been living in Delaware for I think at that point, probably like two or three years because of work. And so I ended up out here.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Do you ever regret moving out here?

[Jessica Battle]

No, definitely not. I mean, in the last year with my separation, I had an opportunity to move back home if I would have wanted to. But I do feel like over the last, especially probably like five years, I started to build a community out here and feel close to people here. And like, I already felt like with so much changing in my marriage and like losing the person that I was closest with, it Was like, I wanted to keep as much familiar as possible. So I decided not to go back home. Cuz yeah, of course, like, I would have had my mom and my best friend, but it's like all of the day to day relationships and the day to day routines would change and I felt like that was most important for me to hang on to.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I definitely, I can. I think I would do the same thing. Like. Yeah, like my life is here now.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. You know, and it's not that bad here.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

People say that. They're like, Delaware, it's really not that bad here. No sales tax whenever I shop anywhere else.

[Podcast Host]

What is this dope as like, I love it.

[Jessica Battle]

Low property taxes. Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Especially since we do like real estate and stuff. But so I'm like, there's a lot of benefits. And I always say, like, it's not that bad. Like, I can travel back and forth to see. I always said if I don't need to take a plane to like, see my family, I'm good.

[Jessica Battle]

I know. And that's the thing. What I think about is, like, if I was going to relocate, it's not going to be back to Pennsylvania. It's going to be like to Miami or something.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I'm going to be out like somewhere, like going to the West Coast.

[Jessica Battle]

I. I would love to. If, if it wasn't for my mom, I would. But like, I'm literally all that she has and leaving her behind. And she definitely would not want to like, rip up her entire life and move somewhere.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Especially when they're like, comfortable.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, they are 100. Yeah. Okay.

[Podcast Host]

Can you tell us a little bit about how you grew up and the space that you're in right now?

[Jessica Battle]

You.

[Podcast Host]

You help women with their lifestyle, their health. Like, I know you talk a lot about eating disorders.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And just toxic diet culture and everything. So how do you feel like growing up that impacted you to where you are today? Like, how did all of this start for you?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, for sure. So when I was like six or seven years old, my parents separated and they had been together for like 15 years. I have an older brother and a younger brother, and their relationship just got to the point where it was so toxic and so unhealthy and the entire family felt that. So my dad left and ultimately ended up shortly thereafter, like, completely abandoning my family. When I was nine, he sat me and my brother down at a Dunkin Donuts and he was like, I'm leaving. I'm moving to Louisiana. I'm gonna be with this new woman. That I'm with. And he moved and literally started a new family, raised somebody else's children, and just basically completely forgot about us. And it devastated me. Like I was a daddy's girl growing up. And I was just talking to my mom about it the other day. She's like, you know, she's like, your dad never liked either of your brothers, but you, like, he loved you. And it hurt me so much because, like, remember my dad coming home from work and being like, oh my gosh, like my person is here. Like, I felt safe with him. I loved him. And it, it was heartbreaking when he left my family. And so as a child at that time, now with a single mom who had not worked, she didn't have a job, my dad repossessed the car that we had, he sold the home that we were living in. He literally left us homeless. Like, my entire family was sleeping on my grandmother's pull out couch. Like it was crazy. I, as a kid started looking for ways to feel better. And the way that I found to feel better was eating. And so I found myself 10, 11 years old, hiding food, sneaking food, eating food in large amounts. And at the time obviously didn't understand, like, oh, I'm emotionally eating. But as I grew up, I began to realize like, this is happening as a way for me to cope with something that is going on and it's.

[Podcast Host]

You're starting to look at it like a pattern.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly. So when I graduated high school, I was £250, which was, was extremely overweight for me. And I decided, I'm gonna go on a diet and I'm gonna lose weight because I thought that will be the thing that makes me happy. And I think, as many women believe, like, living in a smaller body is going to be the key to living a happier, healthier life. And so what I found for myself, I lost 100 pounds very quickly, ended up gaining that weight back, lost 120 pounds, then yo yoed back and forth for years and years and years. And what I found was that I'm really good at losing weight, but I'm not good at maintaining a lifestyle that's actually healthy.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And I was going to say back to what you said about people thinking like, they need to be in a smaller body. I feel like there's so many women that I know that are in smaller bodies, but they're not. That doesn't necessarily make you healthy.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Like, even I struggle with that. Like, I'm like, I'm skinny, as people would say, but I don't feel healthy.

[Jessica Battle]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

There's a lot of things that I know I need to change about, like, myself in my diet.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

But I tell people all the time, like, I feel like, a lot of the time.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So, like, why would you want to feel like that?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, exactly. I was just talking to a client on my drive down here who is going through a separation and a divorce from her partner, and she has been struggling to take care of herself. And she's losing weight because she's not eating. And she. We're talking about how everyone around her is saying, like, oh, my gosh, you look so good. What are you doing? And she's like. And every time they say that, I just start breaking down crying because it's like, this is not happening.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly.

[Jessica Battle]

It's not happening as a result of something good. But it just shows how the world has trained us to believe that smaller is better, smaller means healthier, smaller means happier. Smaller means more successful, more worthy, more deserving, all of these things. And that is certainly the narrative that I've had in my head for my entire life. And I've been doing work to heal for 10 years now. And it's still. Especially with the GLP1, like, epidemic.

[Podcast Host]

It's like seeing Serena Williams.

[Jessica Battle]

I literally just posted about it last night. So I've been binge watching Love Island UK and I have to watch ads, and the ad that's on there all the time is Serena Williams saying, after having kids, I need. I needed to lose 30 pounds. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. The fittest, most. Most athletic woman we've ever witnessed in the world.

[Podcast Host]

That shocked me.

[Jessica Battle]

Me too. And it triggered me so badly.

[Podcast Host]

So I'm just like, I. And I see it cons constantly.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And with that, I was just like, wow. Like, I feel like it's so dangerous.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

For someone like her, with her reach to be promoting.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

In that type of way. You know, especially being saying like, oh, I. I have three months, or did she just have a baby or something?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. And she said after her baby she had 30 pounds that she needed to lose.

[Podcast Host]

That is so dangerous to me because I feel like we're already in a, you know, in this culture, in this time where people feel like they have to bounce back so fast. And it's like, let your body heal.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Let your body heal and take its time. Like.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I. After I had my daughter, I struggled. Like, I had, like, a pouch and obviously, like, I had gained a lot of weight.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

For me. For my body type. And I was okay with it.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I was like, I'm not gonna take. I'm not gonna, like, be so hard on myself because I just created life, you know? Like, and even though, like, I see so much on social media, and it's like, oh, you have to bounce back and you have to do this and then this, like, yeah, you do feel pressure.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I can't lie and say there were times where I'm like. Like, I want to get my old body back or whatever. But that's because I knew the stuff that I was taking in on social media was making me feel that way.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

Because deep down inside, I was like, no, babe. Like, rest, you know, like, it'll. It'll happen. Or whenever you feel ready to hit the gym, then do that. But for now, just relax.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly 100%. I think it's. I'm not here to judge what anybody does with their body. Like, what you want to do with your body is your preference. But it does concern me seeing the number of women who are using these drugs to lose, like, the last 10 or 15 pounds. It's like, what. What. How do you believe your life will really be different? Because is that really in the sake of being a healthier person? And I think that a lot of women mask a desire to be thin with a desire to be healthy. Like, they say, I want to be healthy, but what they do to achieve. And I was guilty of this. Like, I starved myself the first time. I lost 100 pounds, ate 800 calories a day, and worked out for, like, two hours a day, seven days a week. Like, all I wanted was to be skinny, because I was like, I'm going to be happy when I get there. But what I think many women fail to realize is that your body doesn't create the emotions that you feel. The way that you think about your body creates the emotions that you feel. So what I very quickly learned was, like, unless I work on the way that I think and feel about my body, just changing my body in and of itself is not going to change the way that I feel about myself. And so when I started to realize some of these things for myself, and I had been documenting my weight loss journey on social media, I had built. I was on the COVID of People magazine. I was in the Huffington Post. I had gained, like, a lot of media popularity, and people were watching me, and I felt this obligation to start sharing what I believed now was the truth of, like, just changing your body is not really going to change your life. And it just kind of organically turned into people reaching out to me and being like, hey, can you help me? And in the beginning I was like, I don't know, maybe I was like, I'll try because I, because I care. I'll try and teach you the things that I've taught myself. And it turned into now six years later, having a really successful business.

[Podcast Host]

Wow, that is awesome.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Podcast Host]

You've created such an amazing, like, platform for yourself. And I love how you like, help women so much. Like, I genuinely love following you and like, I'm just reading your stories and how you just connect with people. Thank you. It's really amazing. I think you've built something, really something to be really proud of. Thank you so much. What was there a moment or experience growing up that shaped like, how you view health and self love today?

[Jessica Battle]

I think that what probably shaped the way that I see things today with health and health and wellness and fitness is really the lack of example that I had growing up. Like, I didn't witness anybody in my life, like, take care of themselves. My mom was a drinker, a chain smoker, an illegal drug user. My dad was not in my life. My brothers didn't play sports. Like, I didn't really witness any, anybody take care of themselves. And sometimes I wonder for myself, like, how would my life be different if someone instilled healthy habits in me? And it was like, oh yeah, we go to the gym three or four days a week, we go outside for walks, we, we eat healthy, we prioritize our sleep. And I didn't have someone that set those examples for me. And I think that's why even though I've chosen to not have children, I still believe that we all get to be leaders in this world and like, we get to show up for the people in our communities and the people around us and be an example of what living a healthy lifestyle looks like. And so feel very dedicated to showing the world what it looks like to really take care of yourself inside and out.

[Podcast Host]

I love that.

[Jessica Battle]

So you.

[Podcast Host]

That's interesting. I didn't know that you chose not to have children.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So what is it just you just have, have you always felt that way or is it just society now?

[Jessica Battle]

So this is always such a huge topic of conversation and I, I love having this conversation.

[Podcast Host]

I do too.

[Jessica Battle]

I think that society needs more of this. Yes, me too. So when I was 15 years old, I desperately wanted a child.

[Podcast Host]

Really?

[Jessica Battle]

Yes. Could have been on Teen Mom.

[Podcast Host]

It's so interesting.

[Jessica Battle]

I desperately wanted a baby because I Did not have love growing up the way that I wanted from my dad. And there was a lot of toxicity and abuse in my household from my older brother and really caused my mom to give a lot of her attention to him. And I felt very alone for a lot of my life. And I just had this belief of, like, if I have a baby, like, I'm going to have someone to love and I'm going to have someone that loves me unconditionally. So fortunately for me, things did not pan out that I had a child at 15 because how, how wild that I would have like a 20 something year old.

[Podcast Host]

Your life would be so different right now, girl.

[Jessica Battle]

Literally. So after that, like when I started getting older and getting into relationships, I kind of felt like I have never had, other than being 15, like this overwhelming feeling of, I want to be a mom, Like, I need to be a mom, I want to be a mom. So I always told myself, like, if I meet a partner that I fall in love with and I trust and believe in and believe could be a support to me and a support to a family and they really wanted a child, then I would do that. But it just so happened when I met my husband, he was like, absolutely not. I hate kids, I don't want kids. And I was like, oh, okay. So now people have been asking me since I've been separated for a year and I'm in a new relationship, people are like, have your feelings changed? It's like the question when I'm like, ask me and my boyfriend a question like, have your feelings on kids changed?

[Podcast Host]

But honestly, it's okay if it hasn't. Like, I feel like we get pressured as women so much, like, oh, you have to have kids or, you know, if you don't have children, like, what's the meaning of your life? Or like, what are you gonna take.

[Jessica Battle]

Care of you when you're old? That's the one that kills me.

[Podcast Host]

It's like, I think that's the most selfish way to think. Like, I didn't have kids so that my daughter could, I know, take care of me when I'm old and senile.

[Jessica Battle]

That's not what I have.

[Podcast Host]

It's weird, but people have this weird, like, thing with kids and it just equals like your worth as a woman, like, to have children. And I never understood that. And I'm like, because there's so many things that I am in this world other than being just somebody's mom.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely. So the answer to the question is my feelings about having kids haven't really changed. I don't see myself having children. I think that at this point in my life, I'm going to be 39 years old next month. I think that I'm very set in my life. I am honestly quite a bit selfish. I like my time, I like my sleep. I like my money. Give me that check and give me that bags. Give me my coins and give me my sleep.

[Podcast Host]

Thank you.

[Jessica Battle]

I love that those are the things that I prioritize and care about right now. And I do wonder, like, it's not to say, and I think this is something that holds a lot of people back in life. It's not to say that I won't one day look back and be like, man, what my. What might like my life would have looked like if I did have children. Or maybe there will come a time in my life where I do feel lonely and I wish that I would have done it. But it's like I don't live my life anticipating the what ifs of the future. It's like I just have to honor what I want in this season of my life right now and do the best with what's right in front of me. So I don't foresee myself having children.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, no. And I feel like that could be with anything. Like you could look back and think, what if for any reason, I am.

[Jessica Battle]

Certain there are women looking back on their life and wondering, what might my life be like had I not had these kids? Not had these kids.

[Podcast Host]

We think that more often, like, oh.

[Jessica Battle]

My God, where might I be?

[Podcast Host]

I'm just, now I got these gremlins running around. Please save me. So it goes both ways.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

But I think the best, best thing that you can do is. I think the best thing someone can do is honor the fact that they want to be selfish and that they like their life the way it is. Because if you feel like that and then do have kids, I feel like that is going to be even worse.

[Jessica Battle]

That resentment would be wild. Could you imagine looking at your child every day and in some way resenting them? Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

I just feel like I shouldn't have to have children because society says, like, that's my duty as a woman. Like, yeah, no, it's not. My duty is to get this bag and go to sleep at 8pm and look you facts.

[Podcast Host]

I love that. Facts. So when did you realize you wanted to turn your personal journey into a platform to help other women? It.

[Jessica Battle]

It really happened. I mean, organically. I knew I wanted to document my weight loss journey the second time after regaining 100 pounds, I wanted to document it because it was like, this is a way to hold me accountable. This is a. Like, if you were to scroll back to my Instagram from 2015, it was like still pictures of me in the gym, but like photos of like what I was eating and photos of my scale weigh ins and like me literally just having a place to that I was treating it like a diary.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

And it just so happened that when you started back then, like as it still now, before and after pictures of weight loss, they're. They catch people's attention. It intrigues people. They're like, oh, what is she doing? And so it just kind of happened organically that people took interest in what I was doing. Like, I grew up and I still am a very shy person, a very introverted person. Like, truth be told, I, I don't really like people that much. Like, I'm very much a people. Like, I'm good. I'm good at, like, I'm good at acting and playing the game and like, I care about people. But like, having a lot of people in my life has never been like my thing. I'm never like, oh, I need a circle of 15 friends. Like, I'm not that kind of girl.

[Podcast Host]

With like just your genuine.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, small circle.

[Podcast Host]

That, that's exactly how I. What, what is your sign?

[Jessica Battle]

Sagittarius.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, you're sad.

[Jessica Battle]

What do you. Are you a Virgo? I'm a Virgo, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

I love Virgos.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I feel like people, people either hate us or love us.

[Jessica Battle]

That's how Sagittarius are. You know, they call us Sagittarius. Sagittarius.

[Podcast Host]

I actually love that more now.

[Jessica Battle]

I do too. We are one of a kind.

[Podcast Host]

What are like the, like the traits of a Sagittarius? We're just very, in my life, we're very outspoken.

[Jessica Battle]

We're very fiery, spicy. Say what we mean.

[Podcast Host]

Like, like kind of like a Leo too.

[Jessica Battle]

We're similar to a Leo. Yeah, Very like huge heart, incredibly caring. Like, will bend over backwards for you. But the minute you cross me, like, bro, you're done. Like, I will make you feel. No chances. Like, it's done. It's a wrap. Don't even look in my direction again.

[Podcast Host]

How do you do that? Because I feel like I'm at a point in my life where, well, I've been a people pleaser, like my whole life.

[Jessica Battle]

Same.

[Podcast Host]

But I don't know, I feel like I contradict myself sometimes and I'm very confusing even to myself and people same people can never, like, read me. And this is, I think this is probably why me and my husband have been married for so long. Because he's like, you're so, like, intriguing.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I can't ever, like, read you. 100 or when I think I have you figured out. I don't.

[Jessica Battle]

I don't. I'm the same way. Absolutely. It's very toxic. It is.

[Podcast Host]

I know.

[Jessica Battle]

Toxic.

[Podcast Host]

I think.

[Jessica Battle]

Very toxic.

[Podcast Host]

Is that why you love me? But, like, I just feel like I, I think about people so much. Not, not really like what they think about me. But I want them to feel, like, loved and cared for it all the time.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So in that, in that aspect, I am a people pleaser. But then also, like, when people me over or something, I either it can go both ways. Like, either I can give you a second chance to, like, redeem yourself or I just cut you off and act like you've never existed.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. 100 I, I, more times than not.

[Podcast Host]

I try to give people, like, the benefit of the doubt because I'm such an empath. And I'm like, oh, like, well, I kind of, like, analyze people's childhoods and I'm like, well, if they're like, they did this for a reason or what did they go through that, like, now they're an adult and they do these things. Like, I, and I'm like, I can't do that for people because people know what they're doing as an adult. Like, you can't take the stuff that you went through as a child and, like, not learn from it and keep repeating those same mistakes and treating people like that.

[Jessica Battle]

100 I. But I do think the way that you look at it is a powerful way. It's something that I've been trying to do more of in my life to like, try and understand that my life experience and perspective is not going to be the same as everybody else's. And they've been through things that I have not. But I agree, like, there comes a point where you got to take responsibility as an adult and say, this is a problem with me and so I'm going to fix it. And it's, I think the biggest turnoff for me and people is a lack of accountability. Like, if you don't take accountability for your actions and you don't want to genuinely change and do better. But my biggest issue as a person and something I'm working on is like, like, I'm such an empathetic, loving, caring person. Like, I will bend over backwards for you if I care about you. I will do literally anything to make you feel loved and special and important. My biggest issue is that I get resentful of people when they're not reciprocal of that.

[Podcast Host]

And I'm like, yeah, it's everything for me feeling resentful. And we put ourselves in that.

[Jessica Battle]

In that position.

[Podcast Host]

And that's what I never asked anyone. You know, they don't know that I'm like. Like, wanting them to do these things.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Anything. But it's something that's like, oh, if I'm doing this for you and, like, why can't you be the same way for me?

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I'm like, is that a toxic way to think? Because.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

But I think it's also just like, you know how when it comes to, like, I'm trying to give an example, like, let's you right now. Like, I got Starbucks. And I was like, hey, like, I'm gonna get you some Starbucks. Like, I think it's just like. Like, being nice and, like, just being like, it's like, common decency.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely. And I think a lot of people lack that.

[Podcast Host]

Absolutely. That's the main thing. I'm like, I feel like. I think that all the time, like, you don't have, like, common. Like, it's common decency to me to do these things.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes. You. You. And I prioritize other people's feelings. Not everybody does that. And that's something that I'm having to learn and understand, and it's something that I'm genuinely working on in my life. Especially now, like, being back in the dating world and having to form new relationships with people, it's realizing, like, if I'm going to give, I'm gonna do it because I want to give, not because I have an expectation that they're gonna do the same in return. Yeah. But it's hard because it's like, I feel the way I think is like, if. If you with me the way I with you, you'd want to do the things. You'd want to do the things I'm doing.

[Podcast Host]

Someone feels the exact same way. I can never explain it, but I'm like, I did start, you know, like. Like this year. I had so much happen in my life, and that was one of the things that I was like, I feel like I give and give and give. And I was like, I'm like, I feel like I never get the reciprocation. And I'm like, what is it wrong with me that I'm not. Like, am I not worthy? Like, am I not A good enough friend or whatever. So I started thinking like that. And you can't expect people to love the same way you love.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

And I was just like, that kind of like, stayed with me and I was just like. Like, that's something I have to work on because I feel like I just give and give and I always expect the same.

[Jessica Battle]

I resonate. I say all the time, Jessica, you cannot expect people to have the same heart as you. Like, people don't have the same heart as you. It is hard. It's really hard because it's like, it doesn't. For me, it doesn't feel like it takes that much effort to look out for people, but I think for other people, it's like, it's a really hard thing to do. So it's like just recognizing. It's like a superpower of ours and it comes easy to us. And that's why people love us and gravitate towards us. But that's also why we have to be intentional in terms of who we let into our life. Which is one of the conversations I want to have with you on my podcast about friendships and stuff. Because it is hard, especially as this type of person.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, definitely. That's something that I've been struggling with.

[Jessica Battle]

Like, yeah, a lot. We can.

[Podcast Host]

We can talk about that.

[Jessica Battle]

I resonate.

[Podcast Host]

Part two.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

We'll be having a part two on her podcast.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

So what was the hardest part about healing your relationship with food? And what was like, the turning point that helped you rebuild, build trust within yourself?

[Jessica Battle]

I think the hardest part about healing your relationship with food is that it's not an addiction like drugs or alcohol, where it's like, I can completely just close this thing out of my life and, like, put it in the closet and lock the door and I don't have to deal with it again. It's like when you have become a person who is dependent on food to feel better in your life, or you use it out of boredom or stress or habitual. Like, for me, my binge eating was very habitual. It requires. There's such a heightened level of self awareness in your life to be able to, like, pause in the moment and be like, what am I doing? Why am I behaving this way? What am I actually seeking to feel? And how can I give myself that without turning to food? And I. I love being self aware now, but in the beginning it was very hard because if. I'm sure there are women listening to this who will resonate. Like, when you have awareness that something in Your life needs to change or you want it to change, but you feel like you don't have the willpower or discipline to actually change that thing. It feels so bad. It's so. It' like, because it's like, in your head all the time of like, I know I don't like this about myself. I know I want to change this. I know this is not how I want to be behaving. Why does it feel so hard to just stop doing? And when it comes to food, it's like, it's such a social thing. It's a celebratory thing. It's a I need this to survive thing. So it's like you can't escape it. So it's like really having to. The thing that helped me the most was really learning to look at myself as a woman that I love and respect and asking myself, like, if I truly love and respect myself, how would I be treating myself right now? Like, how would I be showing up for myself? And that continued action of saying this is how I want to treat myself and treating myself that way, that's genuinely what rebuilt my trust was like showing myself, you can depend on yourself. You're a woman of your word. You're going to do what you say. You keep the promises and commitments that you make to yourself. And then once you start to trust yourself more, it's just so much easier to navigate through life, making decisions across the board, not just with your relationship with food, but with everything. Like trusting myself to start a business or walking away from a corporate job or even divorcing my husband. Like, if I didn't trust in myself or believe myself, I would have stayed in that marriage another 10 years unhappy because it feels like I don't trust that I'm going to be okay.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's. And I think that's the hardest thing is growing into that self awareness.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

Because so many people don't have that and never develop it ever shapes you as a person. Like, growing up and. And especially right now, like, I feel like people just need to have a level. You have to have some type of level of self awareness to get through life.

[Jessica Battle]

Life, it's uncomfortable and it's hard and requires a level of, like, personal accountability unlike.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

Any other. But at the end of the day, it's like your life isn't going to change itself. Like, if you really want things to look different in your life, no matter what that's with. If it's your body, if it's your relationship with food, your job, your Finances, your partner. Like, if you want things to change, you have to decide you're going to be the person that steps in and does the things to make that happen.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I think we talked about when we were, like, on our zoom meeting, how, how, like, we get, like, comfortable.

[Jessica Battle]

I think we might have been talking about how, like, we get so comfortable in the way our life feels that we don't realize life can feel so much better than it does.

[Podcast Host]

Like, and then. Oh, yeah. And then we were talking about self sacrifice.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, so we end up sacrificing, like, our happiness and things that we know that we deserve.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. For other people.

[Podcast Host]

For other people.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. 100. Especially as a mom, like, I can imagine that's definitely a conversation I want to have for my podcast as well, because I can imagine it's hard for women myself, don't have kids, don't really have other responsibilities besides my business and keeping myself alive.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

It's hard sometimes to say, yeah, I'm gonna get up and do these things for myself. It's like, it's so much easier to worry about other people's problems and issues and, like, oh, let me call a friend and see what they need help with. Like, no, do what you said you're gonna do for yourself. Hold yourself accountable. Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

So how do you approach wellness without falling into, like, perfectionism or restrict or restriction?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, perfectionism is something that I'm continually working on overcoming and improving in my life. I'm very much like a type A person. I want things the way I want them. I like routines, I like structure. And as soon as, like, one little thing deviates from that, it's like, oh, well, it all up the whole day. Exactly. I think that navigating my perfectionism, I've come so far with that and I've just really realized, like. Like, they're so. Because for me, when I think about being perfect, I get into, like, black or white thinking where it's like, if I can't do everything exactly the way I wanted to, then I'm just going to do nothing at all. When it's like, there are so many other options besides doing everything and doing nothing. Like, if we see it as a scale, doing nothing is zero percent. Doing everything is 100. You've got 99 other percent in there to, you know, meet yourself somewhere. But I think that when it comes to restriction and like, like not allowing myself to get back into that head space because it's hard, like, it's something I've actually been dealing with a lot Lately of like feeling societal pressure again to shrink and to be small as a bigger woman. I mean, I'm five foot nine. Like I, I'm 200 pounds. Like I am a woman who is not going to be 5 foot 2 and a size 2. Like I'm never going to be that. But society just makes you feel like if you're not that, then you're not worthy and beautiful. And I think social media has helped a lot with being able to see women of all shapes and sizes. And I do think that there's a. Of brands and magazines and, and things that are trying to be more inclusive to women. They could try, they could try harder a lot, A lot in the beauty.

[Podcast Host]

Space that they still don't get like color matchings.

[Jessica Battle]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

And they're so like, I'm like, girl, guys, we're like in 2025. I know, can we just do this right? Like, I feel like there's no more excuses.

[Jessica Battle]

No, there's really not all the resources.

[Podcast Host]

You have everything to work with.

[Jessica Battle]

I know. I was watching a woman yesterday on social media. She's so funny. I just found her yesterday. She was popping off on Club London about their clothes. Basically talking about how, like, you claim to be inclusive up to a size 24, but your size is 20 through 24. There are 40 total items on your website. Your size is below that. There's 1500 items per size. So it's like how inclusive are you actually being? And when I order a size 20 to my door and it fits like a size 14, that's not actually size inclusive. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Or you're just. This just shows because of the little items you have have. You want to look or appear that you're exactly including.

[Jessica Battle]

You want to be able to say it, but you don't actually mean it. You're not actually like doing it with your heart. You're doing it because you feel you're supposed to.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly. That really pisses me off. And it's in every space. Like it's, it's gotten out of control, like, and I'm like, I feel like for the past couple years, everyone like, oh, we're making progress. And like everything's getting better. And I'm like, no, like we shouldn't be still in 2025 making progress.

[Jessica Battle]

I know. And I feel it's just going back in the opposite direction now with.

[Podcast Host]

Especially now. I feel like now they're starting bring back like women. You know how like bbls were like a huge.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. Now it's like the heroin chic. Super skinny 90s look again. I'm like, oh my God, where are we going?

[Podcast Host]

Did you see? And I don't, I hate like judging women and I don't want to feel like I'm being judgy, but when I see something that I feel like is unhealthy looking, it's. I can feel it. Yes. Miley Cyrus did like a cover.

[Jessica Battle]

I didn't see it.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Jessica Battle]

What about toys? Do they have brands kids have been wanting all year? Yep.

[Podcast Host]

Barbie, Tonys and Lego.

[Jessica Battle]

Gifts that will make them all cheer. Do you mean they have all the brands I adore? They have Nintendo, Nespresso, Apple and more. What about.

[Commercial Announcer]

So the who answered questions from friends till they were blue. Each one listened and shouted from Walmart. Who knew? Shop gifts from top brands for everyone on your list. In the Walmart app, she's like, girl.

[Podcast Host]

Is it on her Instagram it?

[Jessica Battle]

I mean none of these are looking real good. So if it's looking. So if it's looking worse than this.

[Podcast Host]

It'S like something like this, like she. I don't know. It wasn't, it wasn't exactly this one. There was one specific picture that I, I should try and see it after. It doesn't look like healthy, you know, like it really doesn't look. And it doesn't look like them. Like they look, it looks kind of like sick, you know?

[Jessica Battle]

Well, it's interesting cuz when I lost £120 the second time that I lost weight, I then went on to lose 30 pounds leading up to my wedd. And I remember like I would go into the office at my job and the girls there that I worked with, they were like, Jess, like are you okay? Like you don't look well. Yeah. And I look back at photos of myself now from that time and I'm like, whoa. Like I look so sick. Yeah. But when I got on the plane, I got married in the Dominican Republic. When I got on the plane to get married, my best friend's husband said to me, who I'm friends with, I love him like a brother. He said, you've got to be done losing weight after this. And I was like, like, oh no. I was like, I need to come home, lose 10 more pounds. And that was like my breaking point because I then went, I went to get married and I was in the Dominican Republic for 11 days and I gained 21 pounds while I was there because as soon as I landed, I went insane with food. Like the day of my wedding was sitting on the floor in the bathroom in my wedding dress eating chocolate bars by myself before I walked down the aisle. Like I was just like, I feel.

[Podcast Host]

Like wedding is already such a stressful time too. So all the stress and like all the planning and everything like that probably took such a toll on you.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. And it was hard cuz my family, my family wasn't. My mom was like in the depths of her alcoholism at the time and wasn't at my wedding, which was really hard for me. There was so many facets of it. But that was like my breaking point. I was like, I'm so tired of living where I'm like losing 30 pounds and then in a week putting the weight back on and then hating myself and feeling like just. It's like feeling like a failure over and over and over again. When it's like really, you're addressing the wrong thing. Like you're obsessed with being skinny, but you're not addressing like what's actually going on within yourself.

[Podcast Host]

You're obsessing over the number.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

You know how like people throw away their scales?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You feel about that?

[Jessica Battle]

I think that if the scale is like triggering for you in a way that it makes you feel like, okay, I got on the scale and the number is down. I've been a good girl, let me eat less today and see if I can get it to go down again tomorrow. Or the opposite. Like if you get on the scale and the number has gone up and you're like, oh, what I'm doing is not working, what's the point in trying? And that makes you then go sabotage and like eat like the world's coming to an end. I think that then it's unhealthy and it makes sense to put it away. I think if you can get to a place where you see the number on the scale is just a piece of data that has nothing to do with your worthiness as a human, then it can serve as a tool on your weight loss journey. Cuz like I, I very much am. Do not agree with restrictive diets and like obsessing over diet culture. But I'm also as a woman who has lost £100, like it would be hypocritical of me to say like, oh, don't lose weight. If you want to lose weight to be healthier or genuinely just feel better in your body. Amazing, do it. But don't expect it to be like a fix to your life.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna get. Ask you, too. I was gonna ask you, like, what advice you could give women who are trying to, like, unlearn toxic diet culture.

[Jessica Battle]

I think understanding that a smaller body is not the solution to a happier life would be the biggest thing that I think people need to realize. And unfortunately, I think a lot of us need to experience things to believe them to be true. Like, did your parents ever try and teach you a lesson and you're like, I'm not trying to hear it. Like, I don't believe you. I need to go. I need to go. They was right about that. Yeah, exactly. So I think a lot of people I know I did. Like, I had to experience, like, oh, living in a smaller body actually doesn't make me happier in my life. I had to experience that to actually believe it to be true. But I think the problem also is women who have lost weight and then gained weight back when they're in a bigger body, they start to romanticize living in the smaller body. Because as we do, like, when you break up with someone, it's like, oh, my God, he was so amazing. Like, why did I ever break up with him? Actually, no, sis, he sucked. Like, yeah, but you don't think about those things. When the breakup is over. You're just like, oh, I miss my man. Like, he was so amazing. No, he wasn't. And neither was your small body. Like, there might have been things that you enjoyed about it, but you have to ask yourself, who did you have to be and what did you have to do to achieve that? Yeah. And if what you had to do and who you had to be was not sustainable and maintainable for the rest of your life, then it's not something that you should be doing.

[Podcast Host]

Facts. I think that's. That's a great, great advice to give people, especially in this society that we live in now, where I see all these new, like, diets coming up and ones and stuff. And, like, don't get me wrong, I know this has helped. I know personally, people who have been on it. And I, like, don't judge. And I'm just like. But I'm also, like, just be careful, you know? And, like, just also accommodate your lifestyle to where you're making healthier choices.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly. I have a number of clients who are on GLP1s.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

And I would never say, obviously, like, I'm not a doctor. It's not my place to say what you and your doctor believe is best for your body, but I admire them. So much for still making the choice to work on the things that is going to help them be successful long term. Because for most people who are starting a GLP one, it's like, how many times have you actually lost weight in the past? Probably a lot. How many times have you gained weight in the past? Probably a lot. So it's like, sure, this can be another tool that helps you, but you have to at some point take accountability and address the things that are happening within the way that you think, within yourself, within your confidence, your self esteem, your body image, all of these things. Your habits, your routines. Exactly. Because even people who are taking GLP1s and they're like, well, I'm just not hungry, so I'm not eating. That's not healthy. Like it's not healthy. Go to the gym and lift weights and prioritize your protein. If you're going to be on a GLP one like, you have to make sure you're actually prioritizing your health.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, definitely. So what does healing look like for you on a day to day basis now?

[Jessica Battle]

Oh gosh, it looks exhausting. That's why I don't have kids, because I need my sleep.

[Podcast Host]

So busy healing sleep now.

[Jessica Battle]

I'm busy healing, you know, healing for me at, at this. I've been on a journey of personal development and self discovery for almost 10 years. Healing for me is self awareness in my life, paying attention to who I'm being, how that makes me feel, paying attention to the actions and habits and behaviors and routines that I'm participating in, how they impact the way that I feel about myself. Healing is choosing to be intentional with my time, with my energy, with my words, with the people that I let in my life, with what I'm ingesting, what I'm watching, what I'm eating, what I'm, you know, paying attention to those things. Healing is offering myself grace for not being a perfect human. Because I think it's frustrating when you feel like, gosh, I've been working on myself for so long, like, why am I still dealing with this? I think we talked about this on our zoom call as well. It's like I believe the things I've struggled with in my life, perfectionism, all or nothing, thinking people pleasing, unrealistic expectations of myself, of other people. I don't believe that these are things that will ever fully go away. I think it's just I learn how to navigate through them better and process them in a healthier way way that doesn't sabotage me quite so much. So it's staying aware, staying accountable, being willing to have hard conversations with myself.

[Podcast Host]

Because I think that's the hardest thing.

[Jessica Battle]

It's so challenging because we. We want to just, like, avoid things away. It's like, well, if I pretend it doesn't exist, it'll just disappear. No, it won't.

[Podcast Host]

It won't go away.

[Jessica Battle]

It actually just gets bigger.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly. It starts to fester.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. And worse and harder to deal with. Deal with.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

So, I mean, obviously, I love reading. I love listening to podcasts. I love taking in new information. But I do think that we are in a time where we have access to so much information that it can almost, for a lot of people, feel like information overload and overwhelming. I just think true change happens through taking action and, like, allowing things to be messy and allowing, like, life to unfold and learning from your mistakes. And I think that's a huge part of healing and is, like, being willing to look at the things that didn't work in your life and say, why didn't that work? What was my role in that? And how do I improve that moving forward?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Now we say, like, let life. Life.

[Jessica Battle]

It's gonna.

[Podcast Host]

Life is literally gonna life. So let that rock.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Roll with it.

[Jessica Battle]

That's all we can do.

[Podcast Host]

That's all we can do.

[Jessica Battle]

One day at a time.

[Podcast Host]

So you went through a pretty public divorce. What was that like? What was it like navigating that and, like, just navigating a private heartbreak in such, like, a public space?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, it. It's been hard. I think we were talking off camera about some of the difficulties that I've had in navigating my divorce so publicly. And I think anyone who shares themselves the way that you and I do is, like, there's such a fine line. Like, I talk on my podcast every week. I'm on my social media all the time. Like, I want to be careful about the way I portray the people in my life. And I've done. Although his family might not agree. Yeah, I've done the best that I can to be respectful. I've only speaking spoken kindly about him. I've not aired any. I've not aired any of the. I've. I've tried. And trust me when I say, like, I'm hurt. Like, I'm hurt by his choices. I'm hurt by my situation now. Like, I had to walk away from my home, like. Like, I had to completely uproot my life. And, yes, it was my choice to walk away from the marriage, but in large part because of his Choices and behaviors, and those things are not things that I want to share publicly. And so I think, like, my audience specifically took it as, like, whoa. Like, this is very shocking because I wasn't talking about our problems because I. I think it's very important in a relationship to protect your relationship at all costs.

[Podcast Host]

Honor it.

[Jessica Battle]

If. Yeah, if I show up on my social media, I'm like, yo, my husband's acting like a piece of. He's doing this, he's doing that. And then. And then I got 300 women in DMS, like, oh, leave him. It's like, okay. Then. Then when I turn around and forgive my husband, and y' all still mad about it.

[Podcast Host]

But this is what we do all the time. And this is why I say, like, social media is such a highlight reel, because people can post something and they can be arguing with their husband that day, and I'm not gonna sit here and record it and post it or talk about it, because it's just normal.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly. That's what it is.

[Podcast Host]

But am I gonna sit here and talk about every argument we have?

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

No. If we want to talk about it together on, like, the podcast, whatever. Hey, remember when this happened? Yeah, that' to do. But in those moments, I'm not thinking about broadcasting people because it's.

[Jessica Battle]

It's.

[Podcast Host]

It's just my life.

[Jessica Battle]

It's your personal. It's your personal life. But I think sometimes there's like a. A. A fine line of, like, your people and your audience not understanding that. Like, I'm not. Oh, And I think even worse for you, because you've been on television. I'm not just here for your entertainment. Like, I'm navigating a real life behind the scenes. And.

[Podcast Host]

And not just me. Like, you. Like, we were talking about taking into account people's feelings.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Stuff like that.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. So it's been. It's been challenging. I think my community has been incredibly supportive of me. Always like their ride or dies for me. They love me. They have my back. They want to see me happy. And it's interesting because so many people have come out of the woodworks and said, oh, I never actually thought your husband was a good fit for you. And I'm like, oh, interest. Interesting.

[Podcast Host]

Thanks.

[Jessica Battle]

Thanks. Thanks for. Thanks for. Thanks for that. But the way they just feel like they can just say whatever they want to.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

You know what I. I mean? And I get it. Like, I understand. We take interest in strangers and we feel. I know they're like, even you. And I. Like, I feel like I know you, you feel like you know me, but we don't really know each other. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, it's interesting, especially when you're the one being followed and the relationship is very one sided and they're just looking at you and you don't know them at all. Exactly. So there's been a lot of interest in wanting to know why and this and that. But I'm like, my personal life is my personal life and I've shared with you what I feel comfortable and, and that's. That's that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I love that you were able to set that boundary. And I always say, like, the people who like love you and are truly there for you, they're going to respect.

[Jessica Battle]

That 100 no matter what.

[Podcast Host]

Because a boundary is, people are going to respect it or, and the ones that don't, it's because it doesn't like serve them.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Whatever. Whatever reason.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

So what's one thing that divorce taught you about yourself that you didn't really know before?

[Jessica Battle]

A lot. Yeah, I've been reading a lot about. I just started reading this new book. It's called why we do the Things We Do. And it's very interesting about relationships and childhood traumas and all these things. But I think that in my marriage I claimed that I was a very good communicator when in reality I was just avoiding hard conversations. So that communication always felt easy because I wasn't willing to bring up the hard things. And I think that if I could go back and do things over in my marriage, one of the things that I would have done was tried harder to have the conversations that were important to me sooner so that maybe there would have been more of an opportunity for things to. To be fixed and be corrected. But it's challenging when you navigate conflict with someone and you see that it doesn't go well. It's hard to then want to address conflict again.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, you're like, how is this gonna go now?

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly. So in the past, when it's like you feel like your feelings have been shut down or invalidated, it's like, I know I'm an emotional person. I know that I feel a lot. I know that I can be needy. I know that I. I want specific things from someone. And I think that I realized early on in my marriage that. That he was not someone who was capable of giving me those things. So I stopped asking. And then I became resentful. And I just, I wish that I would have been more honest with myself. Sooner. And I wish I would have been more honest with him sooner.

[Podcast Host]

So how did you begin to rediscover who you are outside of, like, just being a wife?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. I think, truthfully, it's not. That's not something that I've really struggled with because I don't feel like I ever lost myself in marriage.

[Podcast Host]

I think, because, like, I think a lot of people. People, like, in marriages, sometimes we do. I think in the beginning, too. Like, we'll get caught up in, like, the title sometimes. Oh, I'm married.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

This is my husband, and I'm his wife.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

But then it's like, it's just a. It's just a title. Like, that doesn't take. It's just like, mother. Like, being a mother, like, that doesn't take up, like, your whole.

[Jessica Battle]

Right. Like, I think that you can lose yourself in that. If I was in a traditional role where I was, like, a homemaker and he was bringing home the money, and I was cooking him dinner every night and folding his laundry and, like, you know what I mean? But I ran my own business. We had a cleaner. He did most of the cooking. I did the laundry. Like, it was very much a. I. I never lost myself in that. Yeah. I think what I did lose that I wasn't really anticipating, feeling and experiencing was I have very much felt a sense of loss in terms of feeling, like, I. Now. I have no nuclear family. Right. Because, like, I still have an estranged relationship with my dad. I have a good relationship with my mom, don't have a relationship with my siblings. So my husband had become what felt like my family. It felt like this home. Coming home to him and coming home to my cats, like, that was my family. And even though it's just him that's now removed from the situation, I feel like I lost the family that I had. And that's.

[Podcast Host]

I think that's valid.

[Jessica Battle]

Been hard. That's probably been the hardest thing for me.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I could definitely relate to that, especially because you're. You're away from that, you know, like.

[Jessica Battle]

We were people who.

[Podcast Host]

We moved away from what we knew and everything. So.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You kind of do have to create, you know, your own.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. Little bubble.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And you live in that. And when you live in that for so long, it's like you don't want to know anything else, but. But that sometimes.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

Coming out of that bubble can be so scary.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. I think, too. It's just. I never. I was talking to my mom about this the other day. It's just like, I know I'm in a great position in my life. Like, I'm at a good age. Like, I'm. I have an amazing business, and I'm financially secure. Like, I'm at a good place in my life. But I just never. Never. I never saw this happening. Do you know what I mean? Like, I really got married with the hope that I would be married for the rest of my life. And I think it's like, those personal feelings of, like, failure and, like, letting myself down and wondering, like, did I try hard enough? Should I have tried harder? And it's like, I knew it was time to go, because I think when you know, you know. But it's still, like, it's just. It's hard.

[Podcast Host]

I think that's something that any woman that goes through probably can't even put into words because. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I would feel the same way. I feel like that's valid, you know, Like. And you're not a failure. I feel like you. You are someone who. You stay true to you no matter what. And I can tell.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And like, I. Like we were saying before, like, we're so. We give people when we give and we give and we give and we love and we love and we love. And I think it's okay if we're not getting that in return or we feel like we're just settling for a love that is. Is not what it is. And it's okay. You've been with him for, what, like, over 10 years? Like, think about how much you've changed, how much he's changed. Like, people change. People don't realize, like, the person you marry is not the person that you are with now.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

Especially if you've been with them forever. Like, I look back at my marriage and I'm like, I don't even know the person that I was first. When you first proposed to me and all that. Like, we were like babies. I look at it and I'm like, we're like babies. And, like, we've grown so much. And me and him had a conversation not too long ago, and I was like, I feel like we've grown so much separately, but then we also, like, we make it a priority to still grow together.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And that. But it's still hard. Like, that is the hardest thing when you're trying to still discover yourself separately.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And then still, you know, grow together. Because sometimes you can get caught up. And I always say, like, the brand. I'd be like, the brand branches are. Are. They're all over the place. Like, we're not growing together. Like, we're branching out. Yeah, we gotta get back.

[Jessica Battle]

That's such a good analogy. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I always say I'm like, we're branching out. Like, we gotta. We gotta get it together. But it's hard. Like, it's. And especially me, I'm someone who.

[Jessica Battle]

I'm very.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I. Like, my competition is, like, me yesterday, you know, so it's like, every day I'm trying to focus on who I want to be next and, like, how I want to, like, improve myself. And sometimes I'm so tunnel vision and just like, me and me and me. And I can be selfish in that. I. I say all the time, like, I'm like, I know I'm selfish, but, like, sometimes you gotta, like, bring me back to life, you know? Like, it's us. Like, it. It has to be a team, you know?

[Jessica Battle]

Y.

[Podcast Host]

And it's. It's hard. I always. I'm always telling people, like, marriage is. I saw something the other day and someone was like, oh, like, if marriage is hard to you, like, it's not something you should be in. And I was like, that's.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, I disagree. I disagree with that. I disagree with that. It's like saying, if anything in life is hard, it's not for you.

[Podcast Host]

For you. Exactly. Like, I was like, I get it. That it shouldn't be that hard. Like, it shouldn't be a hard every single day. I get that.

[Jessica Battle]

And it shouldn't be a disrespectful hard or like an abusive hard being.

[Podcast Host]

Exactly like that I get. But the way they were saying is like, oh, it shouldn't be that hard. Like, and I'm like, marriage is hard. Like, I don't get. Like, I don't know what type of marriage y' all are in, but marriage is hard. And it is very much like a very. Like, you have to put in what. Whatever you put into it is what you're going to get back.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

You know, so if you're putting so much into it and he's not, like, how is that fair to anyone?

[Jessica Battle]

You know?

[Podcast Host]

And you have every right to walk away from that.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely. I think it's just accepting that. And I think this has come from the years of work that I've done on myself. And something that I've noticed in myself and clients of mine that I work with is, like, when you raise the standard for how you treat yourself, you start to raise the standard for how the people around you treat you. And I think over the last 10 years, like, continually working to improve myself and to feel like I've raised these standards for myself. You've not really raised standards for yourself. And now you're not meeting the standard that I have for the person that I want to be with. It's like, that's a hard truth to come to terms with. It's a really. It hurts. I need a nap.

[Podcast Host]

But that's like, you're leveling up. And if someone is still on that same wavelength that you were at one year ago, two years ago, and they're not growing with you, like, what do you expect?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, you're going to get left behind. You know? Like, it's. And it sucks. But that. I feel like that is growing. That's leveling up.

[Jessica Battle]

Like, that's life. Life.

[Podcast Host]

Like, who wants to be stagnant all the time? I'm someone that I can't. I can't be stagnant. Like, I need to see us growing and, like, doing more.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I don't want to be stuck in the same place.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And luckily, I mean, I do have a partner who feels the same way. But not to say, like, we don't get stuck sometimes, you know?

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

So it's like, either I'm gonna level up and you're gonna come with me, even if I have to drag you with me, but if you decide to stay there, you're gonna see the difference in the relationship.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. I actually think that that kind of conversation was the breaking point for me because he literally said to me, like, I'm good with my life the way it is right now. I don't want anything more. So if you expect me to be a person who's going to try to create more, it's not me. And that was, like, the hardest thing to hear because it was just like, thank you for taking that accountability and for finally being honest with me, because I'd been asking these questions for years. So thank you for finally being honest.

[Podcast Host]

But it could have saved you a lot of time had.

[Jessica Battle]

I never, ever regret the time that I spent with him. Like, he. He is a good person.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

Just not the person for me. And I hope that he works on himself, and I hope that he finds someone that loves him for exactly who he is and the man that he wants to be in a relationship. But I just. I needed more, and I had needed more for a really long time. But it's just like, one thing after another after another after another. Eventually you get to a point point where you're like, whoa, this is A lot. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And then you're just like, this is not the marriage that I thought it was gonna turn out to be.

[Jessica Battle]

Exactly, exactly.

[Podcast Host]

So, like, what are some boundaries or non negotiables that you have now that you didn't have before?

[Jessica Battle]

For relationships?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, for like.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, for romantic relationships. So I think that I am being incredibly honest with myself about the kind of man that I want to be with. And I, I do not want to allow myself to settle for less than exactly that. I know that no one is perfect, but I also know myself and I have a really fucking bad habit of falling in love with potential and like, seeing potential in someone and being like, oh, I can fix a man.

[Podcast Host]

A lot of people have that.

[Jessica Battle]

I don't want to fall in love with potential. I want to be with someone who meets me where I am. But I think the biggest thing that I'm craving is in life from a partner. Something that I missed for a really long time was emotional availability, vulnerability, and just like genuine human, like soul level connection. That's not something I ever shared with my husband. Like, even in the beginning of our relationship, he was very attractive to me physically. He had a good job, he had his own apartment. He checked the boxes of the things that I thought that I wanted in a partner, needed in a man. But having grown into a woman who can very much take care of herself and wants to take care of herself, it's like I don't need someone who can, can pay my bills for me would be nice. Yeah. But I want someone that is emotionally available who can handle the, the bigness of me. Because I, like you said, I think a lot of people see this in me. I am very authentic to myself. Like, I am not going to switch up for anybody. Like, what you see is what you get with me. And I want someone who like genuinely sees me and accepts that and loves me for who I am and can tolerate that. I have a lot of emotion, I feel a lot, I expect a lot. I have high standards and I just want someone that is willing to meet me there.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So, like, you have a new relationship now. So what feels different about it now compared to like when you were in your previous marriage?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. I think that all of the things that I just talked about wanting from a person, I have found in the man that I'm dating now. Yes. Oz is amazing. He's. He's amazing in so many ways. Um, I am trying to live very presently in the moment and understand that I still have healing to do. Like, I'm Certainly still grieving. I have work that I want to continue to do on myself, but I think a lot of times, and I. I thought this as well. Like, I thought that I should be whole and healed before I show up to a relationship. And I read something very early on after separating from my husband that said something along the lines of, like, you actually don't heal by yourself. You heal. Especially relationships. You heal in a relationship because you need those emotional triggers. You need those mirrors. You need to be able to see those parts of yourself in order to grow. And I think that being with Oz has been very healing for me. We're so similar in our personalities. He's so emotionally available, very vulnerable. Like, I genuinely feel like when I look at him, like, yes, I see him physically, but, like, I feel connected to who he is on the inside. And that's not something I don't think I've ever experienced with a man.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. It's so different when you just feel like that. Like, it's like an electricity.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

It's like I'm. Like, I be feeling like, am I high right now? Am I on drugs right now? I don't know. It's just like. I don't know. It's. It's really amazing to connect with someone, like, deeply.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

It's really special. Yeah. Someone who, like, really, like. I feel like we look at each other and we just get it. We've been through a lot of the same things and experienced a lot of the same things in life, and we think about things similarly and we approach things similarly. So. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I love that.

[Jessica Battle]

Thanks.

[Podcast Host]

I'm so happy for you. I could cry.

[Jessica Battle]

All right, let's relax, though. The whole Internet is attached to the idea of this, like, being my person now. They're like, oh, my God, he's the one for you. I'm like.

[Podcast Host]

You know, I was gonna say, because you were talking about how you read on the Internet that you have to be healed.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, before you meet someone or whatever.

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[Jessica Battle]

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[Podcast Host]

I never agreed with that either because I feel like even if you're healing on your own, like, how much healing can you possibly do by yourself? By yourself? Yeah. Because I feel like we. We have to rely on community at some point, and we have to rely on other people. And I feel like there's this thing now where, you know, everyone is so independent and everyone is so, oh, I don't need anybody or, I don't need this. I don't need, like, we. But we do need each other, you know, like, we do need other people to, like, rely on for things and for support and for, you know, emotional support and love.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So I feel like. Yeah, I feel like there's things that when I got with Joe, like, he healed in me from absolutely past traumas. And, like, I wasn't putting that on him, but he did heal me in ways. Like, I was going through so much with my dad when I first met Joe. I was going through so much with my father, and I. He healed me in so many different ways, you know, and it's like, now till this day, like, I had so much happen in the past with friendships and stuff, and he heals me, you know, like, and it's. It's those things that's like, I could not have done that by myself.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I'm like, I can't even picture. Like, I know I could have, but I don't. I didn't want. I wouldn't have wanted 100.

[Jessica Battle]

I saw something the other day on media that said, like, having. Having a boyfriend now is, like, embarrassing. It's embarrassing.

[Podcast Host]

I saw that. Like, it was like a vote. Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

Like, having a boyfriend is embarrassing.

[Podcast Host]

I was like, is it? You were like.

[Jessica Battle]

I was like, damn, I just got a boyfriend. Like, using the word boyfriend is crazy to me. Like, I got a boy. I'm 38. I got a boyfriend. It doesn't even sound a partner, exactly. Like, that's my man. Like, it doesn't even. Doesn't even sound appropriate. It doesn't.

[Podcast Host]

Boyfriend is such a weird term.

[Jessica Battle]

I know. But something that I've been learning about myself is, like, probably because of my abandonment issues, I have kept so many people in my life at arm's length. Like, there have been so few people that I, like, actually, like, close enough to my heart that they could, like, destroy me. Do you know what I mean, and Oz is someone that I feel like I've let close enough to my heart that like, if he wasn't a part of my life, like, it would temper. Temporarily destroy me. Like, it would really break my heart. I don't really care if it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend. Like, that's so dumb. Like, I, I, I want people close to me. Like, I want to have friends, girlfriends, same romantic lover girl. Like, I just, I am not embarrassed by the fact that I want to love. I want to be loved. I want to give, I want to be given to. Like, I want all of these things in excess. Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

And I like I as long as. And it's funny because I want all of these things and I'm like, kind of. I don't know. It's so weird because I am a lover girl and I love love and I love all these things, but it's very hard for me to be like, touchy and like feely. Like, physical touch is not my, my love language. My love language is like acts of service and like quality time. Like, we, if me and Joe were to like, go to like the supermarket, I'm like, oh my God, we're hanging out. Like, I love this. Like, I'm like, oh my God. Like, this going to be fun.

[Jessica Battle]

Fun.

[Podcast Host]

Like, and it's like, that is like my love a girl type of. Like, it's. And it's so weird because I'm not. And it's funny. Like, people. You won't catch me, like, PDA in public. Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Even Joe Hill, like, be like, let me hold your hand. Give me your hand. And I'm like, leave me alone.

[Jessica Battle]

Like, stop.

[Podcast Host]

It's such an ick for me. But it's. And it's so funny. He's like, why are you like that? He's like, but you're so, you're such a loving teddy bear. Like, I know you're such a loving girl. And I'm like, it's just the physical is like, not. It's never been my thing.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, everyone receives love differently. I think if there's another thing that I have learned from my marriage is that we cannot expect people to receive love the same way that we do. Like, I am big on like, writing someone a handwritten love note is like my favorite thing in the world.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I have done that so many times.

[Jessica Battle]

I love it. My ex husband would like, open a gift and not even open the card. And I'm like, that's heartbreaking to me. Like, open the card first. Read. Read it slowly, intently, word for word. Drop it here.

[Podcast Host]

As you read it.

[Jessica Battle]

I love that. Like, I just want to see how much it means to you. And I had to realize, like, that's not how words of affirmation are not how he receives love. He was very, like, physical touch. Like, wants to hold my hand or be close to me or cuddle me. Like, that's how he wanted love. And selfishly, it was like, I expected him to love me the way I wanted to be loved. But I do think it's our duty as partners to learn how to love the people we're with in the way that they want to be loved. Loved.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. And it is. It's hard for me because that is his, like, top love. Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

He's like, come here, baby.

[Podcast Host]

And you're like, girl, you be all over me. And I'm like, babe, like, you're killing me. But I had to, like, I'm literally like, you know what? This is his. Like, this is what he loves.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I do love that. Like, low key. I do love when he's on top of me.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Just because I'm not. Like, I won't initiate first or something like that. But like, now I'm. I'm. I do my best. Yeah. It comes in waves for me.

[Jessica Battle]

I think it's hard when you're over stimulated. I don't like being touched when I'm over stimulated.

[Podcast Host]

And I tell him that all the time. I'm like, I am and easily over sim.

[Jessica Battle]

And my brain is constantly going, so if you're trying to, like, touch on me while my brain is, like, trying to figure something out, it's like, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And our jobs are so different. Like, I deal. I talk to P.E. like, I talk to myself on this podcast all the time. And then I'm talking to people on social media. Like, I'm constantly engaging in conversation all day. Y. I'm exhausted because he always said he's like, you were. He's like, this wasn't like, when we first got together. Obviously, I'm like, young and like, it's. That was one of my love languages, you know? But now as I got older and I'm becoming. Became a mom and all these things, I'm so over stimulated. Like, I always have someone in my hip. VV is attached to my hip all the time.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

As it is, you have a lot.

[Jessica Battle]

More responsibility, which puts a lot of mental and emotional weight on you.

[Podcast Host]

And then also, I breastfed for a long time, so that was another thing. I was like, after that, I didn't.

[Jessica Battle]

Want anyone touching you.

[Podcast Host]

And I think that really did make a difference in how my love language has changed. Because now I'm just like, I get so overstimulated. And even, like, if you're on top of me, I'm just like, oh, my God, like, please, I need chill.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

So it definitely changed me, like, as a person, but I also am, like, I want him to know, like, I love him, you know? But I also do tell him, like, our love languages are really different.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Who knows? Maybe I will get there one day. Like, they change consistently.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

Because his wasn't always that either, you know, But I'm just like, we have to meet each other, like, where we're at. But it's. It's really hard for me when I'm just an overstimulated baddie.

[Jessica Battle]

Like, that's an amazing example of a good relationship, though, in a good marriage is, like, having a willingness to, like, want to meet your partner where you are. And I feel like that's something that. That my marriage definitely lacked. Yeah. And I just think it's like, I've grown up so much that my hopes are, like, moving forward and being in relationships, I'll be more accountable, more aware. I'm definitely more clear on what's important to me and what's not important to me. And I just. I. I want to, like, spend my life with someone. I want to be, like, 90 years old, looking back and being like, oh, my God, look at our life together. You know what I mean? Like, I want that.

[Podcast Host]

I feel like the movement now is like. And I love it. Like, I love seeing all the independent baddies.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, for sure. Sure.

[Podcast Host]

Girls. Like, I feel like girls not going to be me themselves, and they're in. Living in their apartments by themselves and they're doing things. And I feel like everyone needs that, you know, at some point to just discover life on your own.

[Jessica Battle]

For sure.

[Podcast Host]

But I'm just someone who. I'm like, no, I want to. I want to die with my person. Like, I want to.

[Jessica Battle]

I want to be cuddled up.

[Podcast Host]

I want to be with my person forever, you know? Like, that's how I. I've always been. Like, yes, I've always been like that.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes. I've always been a relationship girl. Like, I want to be. I want to be in love. I want to be with someone. Someone.

[Podcast Host]

Do you think it has to do with our abandonment issue?

[Jessica Battle]

100%, yeah. 100%. It's definitely. It's like toxic trauma. But, hey, I mean, you're dealt the cards that you're dealt, and it's like, I'm not going to withhold the things I want from myself in life. Do you know what I mean? Like, as long as I'm aware and making sure that I'm not, like, actively choosing someone who's, like, manipulative or narcissistic or toxic and, like, abusive, like, let me have a man.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[Jessica Battle]

Let me have my boyfriend. Even if it's embarrassing. Let me have my boyfriend. I want my boyfriend.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, my God. So what advice would you give to someone who's, like, scared to start over after divorce?

[Jessica Battle]

Oh, gosh. I just think, like, I. I know. I know how overwhelming it can feel, especially as you get older. Like, I'm. I'm 38, and there are moments for sure where I'm like, oh, God, I'm old. Do you know what I mean? I know I'm. I know I'm not. I know I'm not, but it's like, oh. So I can imagine how someone in their 40s or 50s or 60s might feel and like, oh, my gosh, I'm starting over. The. The thing that I constantly remind myself of is my mom has been sober for almost six years. And one of the things that I said to her when I was literally begging her to get sober, like, seven years ago, she was like, honey, she's like, it is too late for me. She was like, I'm almost 70 years old. Like, I'm not. I'm not doing this. It's too late for me to change my life. And I remember having a conversation with her, and I was crying and begging and pleading, and I just said, mom, mom, like, if you're going to be here for another day, like, if there's going to be air in your lungs for another day, don't you deserve to live the life that you really want to live? And I think it's, like, it's scary to walk away from what's comfortable and what's familiar. But if you know genuinely, like, and you know, your heart knows, your soul knows. Like, your gut knows. If it's not serving you, you have a choice to either continue to be in something that is not serving you for another day, another week, another month, another year, five years, 10. 10 years, or find the courage to say, this is not serving me, and I'm gonna go find something that is, or I'm gonna go be by myself and heal. And it's going to be hard. It's going to be uncomfortable, it's going to be scary. It's going to be unfamiliar. There's going to be sacrifices. But at the end of the day, it's like your one life experience. How do you want to spend it?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. We only get one life.

[Jessica Battle]

One. This is it. Like, you don't get a redo cliche.

[Podcast Host]

It is, but it really is. Like, the older you get, the more I. That goes into every lesson and every, every, every experience that I'm having. I'm like, wow, I only got one life to live. Like, I am not doing this the way that I know I don't want to do it. Like, I'm going to do it exactly how I want it exactly.

[Jessica Battle]

And, and it's okay for that to be messy. It's okay to not. I think a lot of times we want to have everything figured out and it's like, you're not going to have it all figured out. You're not going to know who your next husband is going to be before you leave your current man. Like, you got to be okay being by yourself and letting life play out. Like, let the unfold the way that it's meant to.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

But you have to have the courage to make that change and take the first step.

[Podcast Host]

That's some real talk, girl. So what's next for you in this next chapter of your life?

[Jessica Battle]

If I'm being honest with you, I feel like I am just at the beginning of coming out of what's been probably one of the hardest years of my life. I don't know that I knew how hard running a business was until I was running a business while my life was like falling apart in front of me. And there have been.

[Podcast Host]

You don't want to. You don't even want to get out of bed.

[Jessica Battle]

No.

[Podcast Host]

Run a damn business.

[Jessica Battle]

Or inspire someone to be their best self.

[Podcast Host]

When you're like you're not your best self.

[Jessica Battle]

Right now. My life is falling apart. Like, I feel like such a massive failure. Like, it just. It's been.

[Podcast Host]

That's the hardest part is like showing. Having to show up for other people when you can barely, like, show up for yourself.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. In a job that requires you to be on camera.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

And to speak all the time. And it. To literally. It feels like you're acting when you're doing this job and to feel like you need to learn to turn it on when you were just crying 15 minutes ago or like you're living out of boxes in your one bedroom apartment now. It's like, it. I feel like I have not given a lot of Thought to what is next for me. I've been surviving, if I'm being honest, but I. Right before my separation, I had just started, like, speaking on stages and traveling as a keynote speaker. Yeah. And so I really want to get back to doing more of that now that my life is settled and I'm feeling in a better place mentally and emotionally. So I definitely see more of that in life. My. My future. I would love to get my podcast on YouTube. Like, I feel like now I got. I got a man that does this for a living.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I was just telling you. Like, you're so lucky. I'm like, yo, you're so lucky that your man is a photographer, because my man can barely take a picture for me.

[Jessica Battle]

You're not gonna. On Joe like that. He's.

[Podcast Host]

He's got some goodies. He's done.

[Jessica Battle]

He's done some good.

[Podcast Host]

So he tries.

[Jessica Battle]

He did all of this for you?

[Podcast Host]

He did. I love that he tries. Like, if I ask him to do. Literally, if I ask that man to do anything, he'll be like, I'll do it the best I can. Like, I will do it. And they are.

[Jessica Battle]

I'll learn. It's about the effort. Yes.

[Podcast Host]

So I appreciate.

[Jessica Battle]

If you ever need a photo shoot, Oz will get you. You can come down and hang out.

[Podcast Host]

With me for me, but I will definitely hit you up for that.

[Jessica Battle]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host]

I'm like. It was so funny. I'm like, this man can't take a picture to save his life, and this is, like, my job. I'm like, I wish.

[Jessica Battle]

I know it. It has been amazing. It's amazing.

[Podcast Host]

I see your pictures, and I'm like, God damn. Like, I wish I had someone could do this shit for me. It's so hard.

[Jessica Battle]

I told you I was real specific on what I want in my next relationship. Being able to serve me in my A requirement.

[Podcast Host]

I love that. No, but I love that y'. All. Like, it's like. It's like, you guys work well together.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, I. I love working with him. It's something I did not have in my marriage. He took no interest in my business at all. Like, asking him to take a pic, he'd be like, for real? Do I have to? And now I have a man that's like, even today, he picked my outfit out for me, and before I'm leaving, he's like, oh, do you want to get some pics? I'm like, no, I'm running late. I don't have time. I don't have time. Like, he always wants to Stamp my picks, like whether it's like a. A photo shooter. We're just going out on a date night. It's amazing.

[Podcast Host]

So cute.

[Jessica Battle]

It's awesome.

[Podcast Host]

I love that. So how do you define wellness today? In like one word?

[Jessica Battle]

In one word. Oh, my gosh. I think that if I had to describe wellness in one word, I would say I'm pretty sure this is one word because it's hyphenated. I would say wellness is self compassion. I love that because I think that we. When we think about being healthier for so many people, it's coming from a place of like, hatred towards ourselves and feeling like, not enough. Like, I'm. I'm not healthy where I am. I'm. I'm fat. I don't like the way that I look. I don't like the way my clothes fit. I don't like the way that I feel in my body. And there's a lot of, like, disgust towards ourselves. And I think that plays a huge role in, like, the perfectionism and why we, like, start and stop over and over. But I think if we could have approach like wellness with self compassion, we would realize that so much of being healthy really does start within yourself and the relationship that you have with yourself. And that's one of the primary things that I work on with my clients is like, how do we get you to be a woman that actually loves herself? How do we get you to be a woman that actually wants to respect herself? Set boundaries, stop people pleasing, keep the commitments you make to yourself? Like, how do we get you to be that? And I think that a huge piece of that is having compassion for yourself.

[Podcast Host]

I love that answer. I think that was perfect.

[Jessica Battle]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

So you have. You did a retreat not too long ago.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, in Puerto Rico.

[Podcast Host]

It's amazing.

[Jessica Battle]

I thought of you the whole time. I was like, what would be wear, girl?

[Podcast Host]

I.

[Jessica Battle]

If I had just went to Puerto.

[Podcast Host]

Rico, I would have showed up.

[Jessica Battle]

Like, I was like, literally stalking. I was like, what would v wear in Puerto Rico?

[Podcast Host]

I remember you when I. The jersey.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, the she. And I was like, where did you get this?

[Podcast Host]

I was like, you have to get the jersey. Oh, my God. I think love.

[Jessica Battle]

Yes, it was amazing. Unfortunately, I was there for a short period of time and it was all work, so I didn't get to, like, explore. But it was my first time. It was amazing. So it was gorgeous. And yes, it felt every. So this was my fifth retreat. I do them every year. Every client left feeling like this was so healing. Like, wasn't because of anything we did. I think it was just, like, the energy of being in the rainforest in Puerto Rico. Like, it was. It was insane.

[Podcast Host]

It shifts. Like, it.

[Jessica Battle]

It.

[Podcast Host]

I always feel healed, and I always feel like my most authentic self when I'm there.

[Jessica Battle]

I love that.

[Podcast Host]

And I'm like. I'm just connecting with.

[Jessica Battle]

You should move. You know, they got, like, business tax breaks and stuff now.

[Podcast Host]

Well, me and Joe, our goal is to, like, in the future, once. Once, you know, Vivi's. We have to wait for Vivi to be done with high school. So once she's done, we want to move to, like, different countries and just travel. So we want to do Spain. He definitely wants to move to, like, Japan at some point.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I was like, I want to live in Puerto Rico for a little bit.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Like, I just want to reconnect with Absolutely. Members, whoever I have left.

[Jessica Battle]

That's where you should start, because it's, like, home away from. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And I was like, I would love that. But I'm actually looking. I really want to open, like, well, I want to purchase, like, a home out there. Just to have to run out as, like, an Airbnb when we go, because I go often, so. I told you. I was like, how awesome would it be to just have, like, our own space? So I'm currently. We're trying to, like, do that.

[Jessica Battle]

That's awesome.

[Podcast Host]

But hopefully we'll have, like, our own little home out there soon.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. That's amazing. So nice out there.

[Podcast Host]

It's my favorite place in. Where people actually ask me all the time, like, where you move to Puerto Rico. Rico. And I was like, girl, if I could up and move today, with me right now, I mean, we would be there, you know? But we got away from these kids. They live out here. Like, their life is here, you know? So you gotta wait for them to, like, finish up school and stuff.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. I wouldn't know anything about that.

[Podcast Host]

You could pick up and leave. Like, I got.

[Jessica Battle]

I got. I got an elderly mother, so it's like, there's. You know what I mean?

[Podcast Host]

Because.

[Jessica Battle]

Because I'm. I am the kid who takes care of their parents.

[Podcast Host]

So. Yeah.

[Jessica Battle]

So.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. So do you have a retreat coming up?

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah, so I'm doing my sixth annual. It's crazy to say that. Retreat in Greece this year. I'm so hyped. Like, crazy. It's gonna be crazy.

[Podcast Host]

The pictures. I'm jealous.

[Jessica Battle]

Can you imagine? I know. I'm, like, crossing my fingers. Oz is still my boyfriend.

[Podcast Host]

Like, when is it?

[Jessica Battle]

Not until September. Oh, okay, girl, be good.

[Podcast Host]

I feel like time flies.

[Jessica Battle]

Like, it really does by so fast.

[Podcast Host]

Like, you'll be there, like, tomorrow.

[Jessica Battle]

That's what it's gonna feel like for sure. Absolutely. That's.

[Podcast Host]

Aw. Awesome. So tell everyone where they can find you. Your socials, any website, your. Your podcast.

[Jessica Battle]

Yeah. So I think the best place to connect with me, especially if you're new to my world, is my podcast, the queen of pep Talks. It'll give you an idea of who I am and what I stand for, what I teach on, what I care about, and then obviously, social media. Instagram. Join. Underscore. Jessica. Underscore. Exo.

[Podcast Host]

I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I feel like this conversation.

[Jessica Battle]

I know we're. We were yapping for how long we. It's one o'. Clock. How long have we been yapping?

[Podcast Host]

This podcast is gonna be like an hour and a half long. But it's okay. Like, I love that. I love that for us.

[Jessica Battle]

So fun. Thank you for having me. Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

All right, guys, we'll talk to you next week. Bye.

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[Podcast Host]

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[Jessica Battle]

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