The Chisme Corner with Vee Rivera

Episode: Pick Me’s, Loyalty Burnout, Fake Love y Mucho Chisme
Date: September 10, 2025
Host: Vee Rivera

Overview

In this episode, Vee Rivera dives deep into the realities of “pick me” culture, loyalty burnout, fake support, and all the complicated emotional terrain women navigate in friendships, dating, family, and beyond. With her signature unfiltered honesty and humor, Vee explores how cultural expectations, personal growth, and self-worth intersect, offering stories, insights, and advice for anyone feeling emotionally exhausted from giving too much to relationships that don’t reciprocate. It’s real girl talk for anyone ready to unlearn old patterns and claim their space.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Big Hair Energy: The Symbolism of the Chop

• Vee shares her recent big chop and the sense of freedom/renewal it brings.
  • “I think this is the, the best cut, at least the one that I actually like and enjoy the most… I can definitely say that I’m going to be a short haired girly for a while.” (03:57)
  • Hair is described as carrying “memories and trauma,” so the act of cutting it becomes symbolic of letting go and starting fresh.

2. What is “Pick Me” Culture? (04:44)

• Definition & Examples:

  • “Pick me” energy isn’t just about dating—it's present in friendships, family, and at work.
  • At its core: women downplaying themselves or competing with other women for male validation.
  • “The ultimate pick me behavior is a woman who thinks like being chosen by a man is the ultimate achievement…even if it means stepping on another woman's toes to get what they want.” (05:30)
  • Common phrases: “I’m not like other girls”, “I don’t have female friends, it’s too much drama”, “I don’t wear makeup, I’m naturally beautiful." (08:52)

• Roots of the Behavior:

  • Internalized misogyny and scarcity mindset; generations of being told that men are the “prize.”
  • Critiques the idea of men expecting to be celebrated for the bare minimum in relationships.

• Encouragement:

  • "Cheesmosas, you are the motherfucking prize. Okay? Put a ribbon on it…” (05:54)
  • Urges listeners to reclaim their worth and not shrink themselves for love or validation.

3. Pick Me Energy Beyond Dating—Friendships & Family (12:09)

• Friendships:

  • Competing in subtle ways, or friends who disappear when they get into relationships—Vee admits she’s been both the ghosted and the ghost.

• Workplaces:

  • Women throwing each other under the bus for advancement.

• Family:

  • Older generations (abuelas, tías) upholding outdated expectations, shaming women who want more.

• Personal Growth:

  • Vee talks about evolving from wanting to be “chill” and “low maintenance” to embracing her full, loud, unapologetic self as a “boricua.”
  • “If anyone can’t handle it or can’t appreciate it...I am not the tea for you. Because, baby, I am cafe con chrome.” (15:25)

4. Loyalty Burnout: When Giving Too Much Hurts You (17:25)

• Emotional Exhaustion:

  • The “go-to” friend syndrome—always giving, rarely receiving support.
  • Burden of being the “default therapist” and always defending people who wouldn’t defend you back.

• Key Insight:

  • “Being loyal should never mean betraying yourself.” (18:38)
  • If you feel resentment, bitterness, or are constantly pouring from an empty cup, it’s a sign of burnout.
  • Vee discusses her own struggle with people-pleasing, people-pleasing, and the difficulty of setting boundaries (wasn’t even in her vocabulary!).
  • “Longevity does not equal loyalty or love for that matter.” (20:49)

5. Setting Boundaries and Reclaiming Your Energy (20:49)

• Encourages listeners to revoke access for people who only show up when it’s convenient for them.
• Loyalty as a defense mechanism, often rooted in fear of abandonment—Vee connects this to her own family history.
• “Sometimes we just stay loyal to people because we just fear the emptiness that comes with letting go.” (23:25)
• Therapy and self-work are praised as tools for healing.

6. Pop Culture Tea: Jordyn Woods & Kylie Jenner (24:30)

• Uses the fallout between Jordyn Woods and Kylie Jenner after the Tristan Thompson scandal as a high-profile example of double-standards and misplaced loyalty:
  • “Jordyn was canceled so hard…but Tristan, the master manipulator, got chance after chance…the girl got X’d out…the man gets this treatment, but the girl got bullied. It was terrible.” (25:20)
  • Highlights how sometimes women are punished more harshly than men, especially when they stop being silent or submissive.

7. Fake Love & Passive Jealousy—How to Spot It (28:20)

• Subtle signs of fake support:

  • Backhanded compliments: “Wow, you’re doing all that, I could never. Good for you.”
  • Silent treatment when you share good news, downplaying achievements, and “cheering” when you struggle, but disappearing when you win.
  • “People like to celebrate when you’re miserable, but then God forbid you’re winning and happy about it…” (31:30)

• Vee’s Friendship Philosophy:

  • Treats her friends with “princess treatment,” expecting the best for them in all their relationships.

8. Letting Go and Moving Forward (32:55)

• Red Flags & Moving On:
  • Listen to the silence and distance yourself when you recognize non-reciprocal energy.
  • “You don’t need to dim your light for people still trying to figure out how to shine, period. Let them misunderstand you. Just let them go.” (33:15)
• Encourages open sharing from listeners about friendship red flags and growth.

Memorable Quotes

• “Free yourself from the shackles of the bare minimum. Get that out of your mind completely.” (09:50)
• “Longevity does not equal loyalty or love for that matter.” (20:49)
• “Being loyal should never mean betraying yourself.” (18:38)
• “You don’t need to dim your light for people still trying to figure out how to shine, period. Let them misunderstand you. Just let them go.” (33:15)
• “The ones meant to be in your next chapter will never be intimidated by your evolution and your growth. Keep glowing. Keep growing.” (33:45)

Notable Moments & Timestamps

• [03:57] – Vee on the liberation of her new short hair and why “Bobiana” is here to stay.
• [05:30] – Defining “pick me” culture and calling out its roots in misogyny and scarcity.
• [12:09] – Pick me energy showing up in friendships, work, and family.
• [15:25] – Vee’s affirmation of her Boricua self: “I am not the tea for you… I am cafe con chrome.”
• [18:38] – “Being loyal should never mean betraying yourself.”
• [20:49] – The myth that history (“longevity”) means loyalty.
• [23:25] – Grieving relationships when letting go is necessary for growth.
• [25:20] – Pop culture breakdown: Jordyn Woods vs. the Kardashian machine.
• [28:20] – Red flags of fake support and passive jealousy in friendships.
• [33:15] – Final empowerment: Don’t dim your light for anyone.

Tone & Style

Vee is candid, sassy, and deeply empathetic. She weaves personal anecdotes, cultural critique, and humor into her advice, always keeping it real and speaking directly to the lived experiences of her listeners. The atmosphere is warm, safe, and sisterly, like a heart-to-heart with your closest amiga.

Conclusion

If you’ve ever felt worn out from giving too much, sidelined by fake friends, or undervalued by a “pick me” world—this episode is a validating embrace. Vee empowers her Chismosas to set boundaries, seek out reciprocal friendships, and always choose themselves first. The conversation stays open—listeners are invited to keep the chisme (and the healing) going on every platform.