The Chisme Corner with Vee Rivera

Episode: Que Se Joda Theory
Date: November 5, 2025
Host: Vee Rivera

Main Theme / Purpose

In this heartfelt and candid episode, Vee Rivera explores the power of letting go of others’ opinions through her personally coined “Que Se Joda Theory,” a philosophy about prioritizing your well-being and peace of mind over seeking validation or worrying about others’ judgments. Along the way, she discusses holiday plans, changing traditions, the importance of rest (aka "rot culture"), societal pressures—especially within Latina communities—and closes by offering advice for making new, meaningful friendships later in life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Season: Setting Boundaries & Changing Traditions

• Thanksgiving Plans ([01:00-03:00]):
  • Vee shares that she and her husband, Joe, have decided not to host Thanksgiving this year, choosing instead to spend it with her mom and family in New Jersey.
    • “I looked him dead in his eyes and I was like, I do not feel like hosting Thanksgiving this year. Like, do you? And he was like, hell no.” (Vee, 01:32)
  • Emphasizes the importance of not overstretching yourself during the holiday season—doing what feels right for your own happiness, not just tradition or expectation.

2. Nostalgia & Shifts in Community Spirit

• Halloween Reflections ([03:00-07:00]):
  • Vee and her sister reminisce about the lively Halloweens of their 90s childhood—trick-or-treating late into the night in busy neighborhoods, haunted houses, and high community participation.
  • Observes today’s Halloween is much less spirited; fewer houses give candy, and community engagement is low, possibly due to rising costs and burnout.
    • “The Halloween spirit is just not there anymore… it makes me sad.” (Vee, 06:45)
  • Shares a story about her daughter, BB, getting more candy at a small pop-up event than trick-or-treating, symbolizing the changing times.

3. The “Que Se Joda Theory”: Letting Go for Your Own Peace

• Origin and Explanation ([07:30-15:45]):
  • Inspired by social media snippets about self-acceptance, Vee introduces her personal “Que Se Joda” (Spanish for “Who cares/Let it be”) theory:
    • “You have to be okay letting people think what they want about you… your peace, your mental health, and your happiness is way more important than anybody's perceptions, approvals, or opinions of you.” (Vee quoting, 07:55)
    • “The Que Se Joda theory is just what I use when I start overthinking what people might be thinking about me or saying about me.” (Vee, 09:40)
  • Advocates not over-explaining yourself or seeking to change people's minds; their opinions often reflect their own issues, not your worth.
    • “Sometimes you just can’t change that. Some people are just dedicated to not liking you, or maybe they're intimidated by...the vibe you bring.” (Vee, 10:30)
  • Encourages listeners to let go of guilt and continue to “shine bright like a diamond” even if others try to dim that light.
    • “You will be in competition with someone who you don't even know you're in competition with. It's all in their head.” (Vee, 11:15)
  • Emphasizes that misunderstanding or negativity from others is more about them than you; protect your peace and don’t let it dictate your energy.

4. Self-Reflection & Choosing Yourself

• Healthy Detachment ([12:00-15:45]):
  • “When I say que se joda, it’s not about being cold or bitter...It’s about choosing yourself. It’s a way of saying, ‘I love me. I love myself enough to not carry what’s not mine.’” (Vee, 12:09)
  • Advises self-reflection for those who find themselves projecting negativity onto others; recommends therapy and growth instead of toxic behavior.

5. Social Media, “Rot Culture,” and Rejection of Hustle Culture

• Critique of "Rot Culture" Criticism ([16:01-19:45]):
  • Responds to Alex Cooper of “Call Her Daddy” podcast, who argued that “rot culture” (embracing rest and lounging) is ruining lives. Vee disagrees, stating:
    • “If rot culture means I can stay in my sala, on my couch, eating my chips, watching and binge-watching my shows…sign me the fuck up.” (Vee, 17:10)
    • “I don't think rot culture is what's ruining us. I think it's hustle culture…like, our worth is tied to how productive we are.” (Vee, 17:40)
  • Critiques the cultural pressure within Latina households to always be busy, shaming rest as laziness. Advocates for guilt-free days of doing nothing to recharge.
    • “Look, if I want to sleep in a little bit, I should be able to sleep in a little bit...Put the broom down and rest. Tranquilita. It's okay.” (Vee, 18:36)
  • Encourages listeners to schedule a “rot day” for themselves: reading, relaxing, not being productive, and especially not feeling guilty about it.

6. Making Friends in Adulthood: Listener Question

• Chisme Confessions & Friendship Advice ([19:45-28:30]):
  • Listener shares her struggle finding new female friends after past hurts and entering a new life stage (soon-to-be empty nester).
  • Vee acknowledges friendship grief is valid and can be as painful as romantic splits: “Friendships can hurt and cut just as deep as, like, romantic, you know, relationships.” (Vee, 20:35)
  • Offers actionable advice:
    • Start where your energy feels natural (book clubs, classes, yoga, church groups, volunteering, Facebook local events).
    • Try apps like Bumble BFF to meet likeminded women.
    • Be open, vulnerable, and proactive—don’t assume every new friend will hurt you like old ones.
    • “Sometimes real talk, like we meet our tribe later in life, sis.” (Vee, 27:35)
  • Encourages holding onto hope for true sisterhood: “We're not meant to do life alone...there are women that are craving that deep, genuine, honest, caring, loving friendship that you are.” (Vee, 28:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It’s about not over explaining, not begging to be understood…If they misunderstand you, if they think you changed, que se joda. If they talk behind your back, que se joda.” (Vee, 09:00)
• “Your peace will always be louder than perception.” (Vee, 13:29)
• “Girl, they will try so hard to dim that or take that shine away from you…You gotta just be like, que se joda.” (Vee, 11:02)
• “Saying que se joda is protection, it’s not bitterness.” (Vee, 12:57)
• “If you're not rotting, what is you doing, period?” (Vee, 19:18)
• “Don't give up on sisterhood. We're not meant to do life alone.” (Vee, 28:00)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:00] – Thanksgiving plans and holiday boundaries
• [03:00] – Halloween nostalgia and the loss of community spirit
• [07:30] – Introduction and explanation of the “Que Se Joda Theory”
• [09:00-15:45] – Overcoming validation-seeking, letting go, projection, and self-love
• [16:01] – Discussion of “rot culture” vs. hustle culture
• [19:45] – Importance and defense of guilt-free rest days
• [19:45-28:30] – Listener question: how to make new friends as an adult
• [28:30] – Encouragement to maintain hope in finding true friends

Tone & Language

Vee is as raw, relatable, and unfiltered as always—warm, humorous, and deeply affirming. She blends English with Spanglish in a way that’s authentic and conversational, sometimes punctuated with spicy language and playful directives to her audience (“sign me the fuck up,” “what is you doing, period?”).

In Summary

This episode of The Chisme Corner is a much-needed permission slip to choose yourself—your peace, rest, and authentic glow—over outside expectations, cultural conditioning, or the pursuit of universal approval. Through her unique “Que Se Joda” perspective, Vee empowers listeners to detach from negativity, set boundaries, embrace rest without guilt, and open up to forming new, genuine sisterhoods later in life.

Chismosas, let go and let yourself be: “Que Se Joda”—because your happiness is the real flex.