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- [00:03]
Old Navy Advertiser
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- [00:41]
RealReal Advertiser
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- [01:40]
Viv Rivera
Therealreal.Com. you know how everyone says, like, oh, it takes a village, it takes a village, it takes a village. But at the same time, it's like, everybody wants a village, but nobody wants to be a villager. Welcome to the Cheeseman Corner. I'm your host, Viv Rivera, your Latina amiga. And go to Chismosa for all the chisme that actually matters. Latina motherhood, beauty, navigating life in your 30s and keeping our mental health in check. We're keeping it raw, relatable, and a little spicy. We'll also be getting into pop culture topics and all the best reality show tea. I love me some tea. So get comfy because the chisme starts now. Does it? Does the chisme start? Because, God, I have so much to catch all up on. First of all, I hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving, I was in Jersey. Like I said, we went to my mom's house. Joe and my stepfather cooked the best freaking Pernil ever. It was so good, but it was so chill. It was literally just us. Like, it wasn't like this huge thing. We didn't eat till like 7 o' clock at night, which kind of sucked. But we were literally just chilling all day. I had the best Thanksgiving nap. Like, it was just chill, you know, it was just like really laid back. Real chill. It's nothing like the old Thanksgivings that we used to have. Like, remember where you would have like every single aunt, every single cousin just running around the house. Like, it's just not like that anymore. But I still appreciate the times that I get to spend with my family. But it was really nice, to say the least. And I told Vivi, I was like, okay, because she had the whole week off, which is literally insane because I know in Jersey we only used to get like a half a day on a Wednesday, and then we'll be off Thursday, Friday. These kids get the whole week off. Like out here, they in Delaware. Like, they just, they just be throwing days off to the parents out of nowhere. Like, I don't know how a lot of parents do it because, like, I'm lucky I'm able to like work from home. Like, I do content creation. I can work from anywhere. But like, sometimes they just be having all these days off and I'm just like, what the fuck? Like, it is not necessary for kids to have a week off for a day to just eat. And half of the shit they don't even eat. Like, they, they're not enjoying Thanksgiving the way the adults are. Like, we're cooking, we're enjoying the food. They don'. Give a. But I digress. It is what it is. So she had a whole week off and I was like, we're going to clean up this closet. Cuz she has this huge closet in her room and it's not her, her clothing closet or anything. Like, it's just this random closet. And that's where we put like, I've got bins in there. And that's where she has all of her toys. Like literally every toy she's ever owned is in there. Like, she is a hoarder when it comes to toys. And like, sometimes I'll have to go into her room and like just get rid of so that she won't notice because she. If I tell her, hey, divide these toys into two bags, like the stuff that you want to like donate and Then. And maybe, like, things that are, like, broken or, like, that we can't really donate them, whatever. And she will just keep things. She will keep everything. And I'm like, girl, this is not working. So I told her. I was like, we're gonna go through this this week. And we didn't even do that. Like, I just. I don't know, girl. Also, the seasonal depression has been really hitting. Like, there's been a lot of going on with the planets. Like, I just. I blame my life on the planets because I can do that. But it's just me crazy. The week that she had all for Thanksgiving. I really just wanted to chill with her and just hang out and relax. And, oh, we watched Stranger Things, which. Oh, my God, I think Bibi wants to come on the podcast to talk about Stranger Things. And, yeah, I would love for her to come on and we get her take and we just talk about theories and stuff like that. Let me know if you guys are interested in that. I've had a few people DM me like, are you gonna be talking about Stranger Things on the pod? Because, like, I really want to hear about it. What? So I was like, that would be a good idea. And I think I should bring my little. My little ride or die my little twin for that. But. But yeah, I have some cheesement to talk to you guys about too, because. Holy. With all of the Thanksgiving stuff and prep and just the craziness of life in general, this just happened to me. And I talked about it a little bit on my Instagram stories. But in case you missed it, because sometimes people miss my stories or they miss just things that I post. So the week before Thanksgiving break, you guys know Vivi is in, like, limited travel cheer. Like, she does out of state cheer competitions and stuff like that. Like, she loves cheer. Cheer is like, that girl's life. So she had practice on a Thursday, right? Everything was normal. Everything was fine. She went to practice, Boom, Picked her up. Whatever, whatever. Tell me why it is like 9, 10, almost 10. I would say it almost was like 10 o' clock at night. Like, probably 9:30 ish, 9:45 ish. Whatever. I just randomly was like, let me go through my emails. Which is weird because I usually don't even look at my emails. Like, there's no reason for me to check my emails at night. You know, I'm not gonna get back to it anyway, so, boom. Go and check the email. Tell me why I had an email in there from the owner of the cheer gym. And it basically is like, Effective immediately, the gym is going to be shut.
- [06:57]
Old Navy Advertiser
Down. You know that moment when you walk into a holiday party and your outfit says, I understood the assignment. That's me this year, Queen. All thanks to Old Navy's the Occasion collection. The satin red bow mini dress. Stop it immediately. Added to cart. Or the tuxedo shirt with sequin shorts. It's festive. Festive, fabulous and totally affordable. All my favorite things. Don't forget they've got gifts too. Meaning and mean looks. Chic handbags, cozy sherpa fleeces. Literally everyone's covered. Get into the holiday spirit and hit oldnavy.com to grab your look before it's.
- [07:36]
GoFundMe Advertiser
Gone. Want to find a way to give back this holiday season, but not sure how? Go to GoFundMe.com right now and start a GoFundMe. It's easy. Instead of wasting time and money on gifts that nobody wants or needs, help your friends and family give back and give to something good, something meaningful. You can start a GoFundMe today in just minutes. Fundraise for a friend or family member, a cause or an organization. Help out the local animal shelter. Get that little lending library up and running. Just make your world a better place. GoFundMe is the trusted place to fundraise for what you care about. With no pressure to hit your fundraising goal, but tons of tools to help you reach it, you can confidently start fundraising right now. Tis the season for giving back and giving feels Good. Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's gofundme.com G O F U N D M E dot com this is a commercial message brought to you by.
- [08:38]
Viv Rivera
GoFundMe. And I was like, what the. Like what? So basically in the mess, in the whole email, she was just saying how the costs have got too high. Like, it's just become way too much. Even with raising tuition, because they did raise our tuition a little bit, which was like insane. But even with the raising of the tuition and stuff, they still can't afford to, like, you know, I guess, rent out the space, whatever, and it's just become too much. Tell me why. First of all, that email should not have been sent out at 9 o' clock at night on a random Thursday, you know, and second of all, for it to be just shut down that abruptly. I don't. I call like, there's no way, like, you knew, you knew you had time. Like, you could have hit up the coaches, the parents, anything to, like, for us to get together. We could have did some extra fundraising. We could have did whatever to keep these girls, you know, like able to compete and at least finish out the season with some pride and dignity. And girl, you know what the worst part is? None of the coaches knew. None of the coaches knew what was going on. And let me tell you, they were like livid, livid. Like I have a lot of these people on Facebook because I'm cool with them. Like I see them often, whatever. And the, the Facebook messages that were on there, like they are, they're pissed. Like pissed. Like these are people who also have full time jobs and then come to the gym like at night, you know, and they, they help coach the girls and everything. But they were left in the dark. And Vivi's coach hit us up separately on like we have this app called Band and that's where all the parents and the coaches are able to connect and you know, we talk about things, you know, cheer related, whatever. She went on Band and she screenshotted the email was like, I wanted to let all of you know, like I had no idea. We are just left, we are left in the dark just as much as you guys. We had no idea this was going on and it's fucked up, you know. And she was basically like, I would try and get, get your money back if you can, but it was like there's no money to get back because so this apparently they've known about it for a while probably like since the summer like this. And like I said, businesses don't just close overnight like that. Like you knew you had some type of warning. We could have did something. So apparently all of the money that we spent on, you know, like our fixed fees, that all goes to uniforms, bows, backpacks, if they don't have them already, new shoes, practice where like all of that is like put into one lump sum in like the tuition, like it gets. My stuff is taken out automatically monthly. So I know that all of our was already paid for. All of our stuff was paid in full on the parents behalf. Like as far as uniforms and stuff. So tell me why. One of the coaches tells me like, oh, I was talking to the person who, you know, deals with the uniforms and stuff and they said that the only reason why uniforms haven't been shipped out yet is because only a 50 down payment was put down. What the hell happened to all our money and like all the stuff that we paid for like through our tuition and like all the fixed fees and stuff? Because that's what that should go to, you know, like that's what we're paying for. So there's no way we're gonna get our money back now. Like, there's. There's just no way. Nothing was paid for. Nothing was, like, done, you know, because I was so like, oh, my God, when I tell you, my heart dropped to, like, my ass when I read that email, because my main thing was, oh, my God, what am I gonna tell Vivi? Like, how am I gonna break Vivi? Like, this is going to devastate her. Like, this is truly going to devastate this girl. I just went into, like, thinking mode. I was like, okay, I got to find another gym. Like, that's the one thing I have to do. Because if I'm going to give her the bad news, I want to at least follow up with some good news. Like, I would love to just say, you know, this is what's happening. The gym is shut down. But I looked into another option for you, like, at least try to get her hopes up and to know that I'm doing whatever I can to help her into another gym, you know? So I immediately looked up, like, other gyms near us, and luckily, there is a new gym. It's actually where her old gym used to be because she used to be at another gym before this. And it's in that same exact. Like, it's just, like, a little complex with all different businesses and stuff there. So it's exactly where her old gym was, and day opens, like, in May. And these coaches come from, like, a really good high school. Like, they won championships and everything. Like, they've been coaches for, like, years. Like, they have a really extensive background. Like, they're really good. Like, all the reviews were, like, raving about the gym and everything thing, and I was just like, wow. Like, I never even heard about this gym, I guess, because I never. I never needed to, like, look it up before, you know? So I was just like, oh, wow, this is great. So I immediately emailed them, and, you know, I got in contact with the owners, and I met up with them. I had a meeting with them, and they were just like, wow, this is insane. Like, I can't believe that this was done to you guys. And she's like, yeah, we're doing whatever we can to, like, help, you know, most of the parents, because we feel bad. Like, these girls should be able to, you know, cheer and play out the rest of the year and the rest of their season. So she's actually in talks with Vivi's coach now because she basically was like, you guys can Come to our gym. As long as, you know, you're willing to coach them. She was like, you can keep, you know, your same team, like, have your routine. Like, we can try and set up some local competitions for you guys, whatever. And they're, like, working on getting. I think, today, actually, now that I'm recording today, we're going to the gym later. I have to bring BB with me so that they can meet all the girls. And they're gonna. We're gonna, like, sign, you know, the contracts and stuff. And then as soon as we do that, she said, we're gonna get everything kind of, like, expedited. Like, we want to make sure we get uniforms on time and stuff. Like, they're really, like. I just. I'm like, thank God for these people. Like, everyone is just trying their best to make sure that the girls can finish in a way that they're not just completely destroyed. You know, like, they get to finish out what they've been working so hard for. Because these girls have been working for months. Like, I don't know. Like, people might not think cheer is, like, a huge deal, but it is a huge deal. Like, these girls are working so much, like, hours and hours over the. Over the course of months, you know, Like, Bibi has dedicated so much time. When I say so much time to tear, like, it's insane. She even quit choir not too long ago because it was the same day as cheer, and she was going, like, back to back, and she felt like she didn't have time to, like, focus on her homework. Like, that was, like, taking away one extra day for her to do her homework and study. And her grades were, like. She felt like her. Her grades were, like, starting to shift, and she did not like that. Like, she was like, no. So she was like, mom, I think I'm just gonna, like, leave choir. Like, I don't really wanna. She was also saying that they. They were performing the same song. She didn't. She didn't feel like she was getting anything out of it anymore because it was kind of, like, the same stuff. And that's no shade to, like, her, you know, teacher or anything like that. That's just kind of what they do. But cheer is, like. It's always different. She's always doing a new routine. She's always learning new things, you know? So she was like, if I had to pick one, I would obviously pick cheer. So she was like, I just have to dedicate myself to, like, cheer and, you know, I have to, like, make sure I'm good with school. So luckily, the teacher was, like, totally supportive. She was like, no worries. Like, if she ever wants to come back next year and join, like, there's a spot open for her. Like, we love her, but, you know, academics comes first, and we know that, you know, she's been a cheerleader for so many years already. So once I met with the coaches and all of that, like, I really liked it there. Like, even one of the coaches was like, I seen her at one of the past competitions, and she stood out to me. Like, she. She literally said she was so electric and, like, her. The way she, like, carried herself as a cheerleader, and her energy was just amazing. She was like, so I would love to have her on my team. And I was like, oh, my God. So she's got, like, someone who's interested in her being on this team, and then she's also got her coach who's trying to keep the team together. So. But yeah, so when I told her, she was devastated. Like, she started crying. She was, like, bawling her eyes out. She was like, what the. Like, what's. Like, what the heck? You know? Like, she was just. Didn't understand how we could just end like that. Like, something that she worked hard for, which I get it. It's like, it's really. It's up. So I told her that. She shed a few tears, and then I told her, too. I was like, but listen, I've got something backed up. I've got a backup plan for us. Like, we're gonna get you into this new gym. Like, don't worry. Like, cheer's still gonna be a go. You might not be able. You might not be able to compete at, like, all the places that, you know, we had lined up because we already had our comp schedule and everything. But I was like, at least you have a place where you can still practice, where you can still exercise, where you can still, you know, be at and continue. So she was just like, okay, but she's still really bummed out. Like, she. Yesterday she came home from my sister's house, and she was just like. She was like, mom, I'm just. I'm still so sad about everything. And I was just like, I know, babe. Like, I don't. I was like, unfortunately, you know, people are shitty. They do shitty things, and that was a very shitty way to end something. I don't feel like she was thinking about the girls or, like, literally anybody at all. I just think. I wish it was handled a different way. I really do. And I was like, I Think if. If all the coaches knew and all the parents knew, at least we could have tried a band together to do fundraisers or do anything, literally anything, just to let them at least finish this season off on a good note, you know, and at least they would have had a heads up of what's going on. It could have. We all would have been able to prepare a little bit more. But whatever it is what it is, people gonna get their karma. I don't ever. I don't ever wish bad on anybody or I don't ever feel like I ever have to do anything because I know the universe always comes back and gives people exactly what they deserve when they deserve it. So I'm not wishing bad on anyone, but I wish, you know, the life that they deserve. That's what I'll say about that. But on another note, I also have merch samples. I have some merch samples. I designed some stuff. Nothing like too crazy or over the top. So I wanted. I'm probably gonna go on stories and like, show you guys. So I just. Just to like, get some feedback because if there's anything that's different that you guys, you know, that I can just change that would make you guys want to like, you know, purchase the merch or anything. It's. It's for you guys. So I want to make sure you guys like it. And so, yeah, I'm gonna show you guys and we'll do like a vote or, you know, you guys can give me feedback on what I can change or what, you know, what you guys guys would like to see. So I designed all of them, but I am trying to look for like a graphic designer for like another drop. Like this drop is just kind of going to be basic, like just, you know, branding the cheese, my corner and stuff. Nothing too crazy, but I am looking for a graphic designer so that we can do like maybe seasonal drops and they will be super dope. So I can't wait to show you guys that because I know that hella people are always dming me, like, when are we getting cheese? When are we getting cheese? Mosa merch, like, need cheese. Make corn emerge. And I'm like, I could not agree more, babe. I really couldn't agree more. But I also wanted to talk about something that's just been really heavy on my mind, especially with the holidays coming around. I've been thinking about this so much because you know how everyone says, like, oh, it takes a village, it takes a village, it takes a village. But at the same time, it's like, everybody wants a village, but nobody wants to be a villager. Everyone wants support, everyone wants love, child care, friendship. But when it comes to actually being those things for other people, it's like, where you at? It's crickets, it's I'm busy or I forgot about that or I don't have the time. And I feel like this happens so often. So I wanted to kind of touch on and talk about the good side of this first and how, you know, the good side of being a villager and wanting that community and wanting to give back to, you know, just the people you love and be there for.
- [20:36]
GoFundMe Advertiser
Them. Tis the season of gifting and holes to deck. And the who's in Whoville were in love with new tech. Where can we find Sonos and Samsung and Nintendo? They shouted. Would they find it in one place? This they questioned and doubted when.
- [20:51]
Viv Rivera
Suddenly a who yelled, walmart's the place to.
- [20:53]
GoFundMe Advertiser
Start. And each who added headphones, TVs.
- [20:56]
Viv Rivera
And games to their.
- [20:57]
GoFundMe Advertiser
Carts. With Walmart, their shopping was done in a.
- [21:00]
Viv Rivera
Fur. They cried out, who.
- [21:01]
GoFundMe Advertiser
Knew? And ordered their gifts in a hurry. Shop the latest tech gifts in the Walmart app. Want to find a way to give back this holiday season, but not sure how? Go to GoFundMe.com right now and start a GoFundMe. It's easy. Instead of wasting time and money on gifts that nobody wants or needs, help your friends and family give back and give to something good, something meaningful. You can start a GoFundMe today in just minutes. Fundraise for a friend or family member, a cause or an organization. Help out the local animal shelter. Get that little lending library up and running. Just make your world a better place. GoFundMe is the trusted place to fundraise for what you care about. With no pressure to hit your fundraising goal, but tons of tools to help you reach it, you can confidently start fundraising right now. Tis the season for giving back and giving feels Good. Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's gofundme.com G-O F-U-N-M-E.com this is a commercial message brought to you by.
- [22:05]
Viv Rivera
GoFundMe. Because to me, being a villager is a beautiful thing. I would say I do feel like a villager. Like, y' all know I'm a Virgo. I'm an earth sign. Like, I like to be rooted in community. I like to be rooted in love. I like to, I like to show people. Like, I'm. I'm here for you. Hey. Like, you can count on me. Like, I love you. Like, I feel like we need that. Like, there is no reason why we're all put on this earth to not help one another, to not learn from one another. Like, we all gain and give and take from each other. Like, that's what. That's what this life is all about. And I feel like I really do love being a villager. Like, I feel like that is, like, my purpose in life. Like, I feel like that is what makes me happy. It brings me memories, it brings me joy. Like, I really do love being a villager, but I'm also. I get tired. Like, you get burnt out. But being a part of someone's village and knowing that you know you're there and they know that you're there to support them, it makes you feel. It makes you feel seen, and it makes you feel heard, and it makes you feel needed. It gives you that energy that, you know, like, okay, if something goes down, if something happens to me, I've got these. I've got them. Like, I've got. These are my people. This is. This is my. My circle, you know, I can depend on them. This is. This is my support system, you know? And when you have that sense of community, everything just feels lighter. Like, parenting feels lighter. Friendships feel lighter. Everything just flows. And it feels so natural. Even the holidays feel a lot more joyful. Like, it feels. It's like, happy, you know, like, you don't have that feeling. Like, okay, I'm. I'm doing everything all alone. But then there's the negative side of it. There's the negative side of being a villager. And like I said, it gets exhausting because not everybody pours back into you. Sometimes it comes down to you're the only one always checking in. You're the one who constantly shows up. You're the one that's always planning, you know, the birthdays and the gatherings and the get togethers. And trust me, I've. I've been there. I am the one. I'm the one. So I'm talking from pure experience. You're everybody's emotional support. Like, sometimes I would literally be like, damn, if it wasn't for me, none of these people would have holidays. None of these people would have birthdays. Like, nothing, you know? Like, I am the villager here. I'm the one who's planning everything. And I. I love to see everybody get to the. Like, that brings me so much joy, bringing families together. And I like just creating these memories That I know are going to last forever for these people and for me too. Like, I gained so much out of it too. Like it makes me happy. It's a lot. And I say this all the time, like, everybody wants a village. Everybody says that they want a village, but nobody wants to be a villager. And I saw this quote the other day and it really stuck with me. It said, the cost of community is inconvenience. The cost of community is inconvenience. And a lot of the times that's true. Because let's be for real. Like real community, like genuine community that shows up. It, it costs you. Like everything is going to cost you. You got to have the time, you got to have energy, the effort, even the freaking emotional capacity. And that's one thing. Like everyone's like, oh, I don't have the emotional fast, I don't have this, I don't have the time, I don't have the effort. Like I. Then you're not gonna have a village. You know, like, it's gonna cost, it's gonna, there's something. And I'm not saying, hey, you gotta bend over backwards and you have to do this all the time. No, still set boundaries and make it where it's still healthy for you. Showing up for other people is not always going to be convenient for you. It's not always going to be on your time. It's not always. It's just not gonna be like that. You're gonna be. There's gonna be days where sometimes you're tired, your plate is full, you just don't even feel like it. Like sometimes you're just like, I really don't feel like it today. I really don't. And that's the cost right there. And the people who truly value community, who want community, they realize that, they understand that. And specifically for me, I grew up in a Latino household, you know, and it's very much a village. Like you have a whole community of people. I lived within like a four to five block radius of my grandparents, like two or three of my TIAs. Like I had so many. Like I was always going to my grandparents house, I was always at my, my cousin's house, hanging out with her. Like a village for us is not just a cute idea. Like, oh, we want to live close to like our besties and stuff like that. Like, no, it was not like that. It's not a cute idea or anything like that. Like it's how so many of us grew up. I was never alone. I was never alone. Whenever I needed something. We always had people around us. There was always plates of food for us. There was always time for us, there was always energy for us. There was always someone to watch us. Like if you needed someone to watch your kids. Like, we had all of it, all of it. Because community wasn't really an option for us. It was survival. Like, it's literally our culture and it's, it's how we show love. We're like, we're there for each other. Like, I got you. And now we're adults and we have kids and we have careers and so much going on. And we're here and we're trying to navigate through life without that same support system that we, we once grew up on and that we know. Like, we had that built in support system, bro. And now it just hits so different. Like, it just hits so different. And when I was pregnant with Veeves and moved down here to Delaware, like I had absolutely nobody, you know, like for years it was just me and Joe were our little village, you know, that we were the only two people doing it. And I couldn't depend on anyone. I didn't have babysitters, I didn't have nobody to just talk to to go have a girls night with, like, nobody really. And now, you know, I have my sister here. Joe's mom's been here for a couple years. But yeah, I feel like I have like, you know, I have like this little village now. But it was like, you know, in those beginning times of motherhood and that stage of motherhood when you really need that, it was. It's hard when you do not have it. So I feel like now it's like we're constantly trying to like recreate what we had and what we grew up with and this village. And it's like almost like it's non existent, you know, like we're craving and we want something so bad that's just not there anymore. Because like in today's world, people just don't commit. The same people are not committing to their villages, they not doing it. And that's the. That hurts. Like, it really hurts. Because we know, we grew up with, we knew, we know what real community looks like. We know what it should look like. We've experienced it, we've been through it. So now as adults, the absence of that and not having that, it feels like a loss. Like a lot of the times, like, I just feel like, damn, like I wish, you know, these kids were able to grow up the way I grew up with like all these people around them and cousins and aunts and uncles. Like, so many people, you know, and now there's this pressure that, you know, if we don't get the village that we want and the village that we hoped for, we have to be the village. Like, we become the village ourselves. But, you know, there are ways that you can build, like, a healthy community without losing yourself and without costing you so much. I'll start off with this one. Setting realistic boundaries is very important because you can't be a villager 24 7. Like, it's just not. That is unrealistic. And if you're drowning, you can't save anybody. If your cup is not full, you can't pour. So sometimes it's okay. You. You have to just say, not today. Match energy and do not overextend. Okay? If someone's giving you 20, don't give. Stop giving 100. Meet them where they're at. Like, they're giving you 20. You. You give them 22. You know, especially if it's like a consistent thing, you want to focus on the people who do show the effort, who want to build that community with you. Because people like the idea of a village. They love the idea of a village, but they don't ever want to put in the work. Oh, this is my favorite one. Stop expecting you out of people still learning that. But people are not going to care the same way you do. People are not going to love the same way you do. People are not going to give the same way that you do. So it's best. You just have to just protect your energy by accepting that. Just accept it for what it is. Create micro villages. Like, you don't need this big, huge village. I feel like I definitely have, like, my little micro village now. Even if it's just one friend, one sibling. Like, I have my sister, I have my friend Shauna. I have, like, I have, like, my really close friends, my friend Maria. It can. It can even be a neighbor. Small, intentional, and like, reciprocal circles that you have are sometimes better than, like, big fucking crazy, chaotic ones. Like, sometimes that's all you need. And lastly, you have to allow yourself to receive. You have to allow yourself to receive. And I feel like women struggle with this the most because I am that woman. We're so used to being the backbone of everything. The comfort, the. The planner, the reliable one. Like, the one. The emotional support. Like, everyone goes to a woman. But real community also lies in letting people show up for you to let them. That way you're not feeling resentment or, you know, you're not feeling burnt out or anything. Like, the same way you give, babe, you got to be able to receive that, too. And, you know, another thing is, we can't. When you give to people and you do things, make sure it's with intention and love and not just because you're expecting or wanting something back. And don't let it be like a test. Like, yeah, you can keep your eye peeled. You can definitely, like, be aware. Like, be aware of who you're overextending to and constantly giving to, and it's just not there at all. But, like, you'll. You'll feel that. But there's going to be times where, yeah, you're pouring into people and you're doing things, and you shouldn't accept something back immediately from them or just at all. You know, like, do it out of the kindness of your heart. Do it because you want to. You know, don't always expect something from people just because you did. Xyz. I've been surrounded by so many people like that, and they'll use it as, like, a test or they'll try and, like, use those things against you. And it's like, I never asked you for anything. I never asked you for these things. I never asked you to do those things. But that's something that I've, like, had to learn and come to terms with, too, is, like, not everybody thinks like that. Like, sometimes I just do things. And it's because. It's just because it's me and I don't see anything. I don't. I'm not thinking, oh, like, I got you. Like, I did this for you, so you better do this for me. Or, like, I don't. I just don't think that's, like, a good way to think. So, yeah, that's something that I really wanted to hit on. Just remember, the cost of community is inconvenience a lot of the times, and we just have to open our minds up to that, open our hearts up to that. And if you are a villager, please make sure that you're getting your rest, too. And you are, you know, setting those. Those boundaries and just doing what I listed out for you. Because I promise that is definitely going to help. It's something that I struggle with all the time, but one thing about me is I still show up. Like, I'm still gonna show up. Like, I can sit here and talk the most and be like, you know what? I'm not gonna do XYZ anymore. Like, it. I give up. I'm not doing this. I'm still gonna do it because I just feel like that is me, you know, like this is something that is so natural to me and I love to be the villager. I. I do love to be the one that plans things and brings people together. Like I said, that gives me a lot of purpose. And when you're someone who is just naturally like that, that unfortunately, yeah, you're gonna be the villager and you're gonna be the one that people depend on and you're gonna be the emotional support and you're gonna be all the things. So you have to learn how to take care of yourself and you have to learn how to not overextend and, you know, not do all these things where you end up burnt the out and you can't give anything at all. And people are gonna appreciate you, I promise you. Like, people do appreciate you and they do recognize what you put in to your little village. Don't think it goes unnoticed, you know, and if you are someone who is a part of someone' have a villager let them know. Especially around this holiday season. Like, please, like, tell them, like, I appreciate everything you've done as far as planning. Even if it's just planning the get together, planning the Christmas party to have all the family together cooking the meals. Like people who did a whole Thanksgiving dinner for you. Like, let them know and tell them that you appreciate them. People don't got it in them these days. Like, people are tired, people are exhausted. People are going through so much shit. Financially, emotionally, mentally. Like it's never ending. So it's so important that we show our appreciation to these people. It'll. It really will change their whole day, I promise you. So, yeah, that is a wrap on today's Cheeseman. But don't let the conversation stop here. Let's keep it going. Make sure to subscribe on our YouTube where I post videos every Thursday or I try to. I try to be consistent on that. Sometimes I have things that are scheduled out and like the last two episodes didn't go and I was like, what the. But yeah, every. Every Thursday the videos will be up there and you get to watch the podcast and everything and make sure you leave a review. Follow me at Beautify Me and then follow the Cheeseman corner on Instagram. Until next time, take care of yourselves and remember, there's always room for more Cheeseme here at the Cheese My Corner. Bye. Clorox Toilet.
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