Podcast Summary

Podcast: The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament

Episode Title: Joey Diaz Almost Drowned in Miami!
Date: December 30, 2025
Hosts: Joey “Coco” Diaz, Lee Syatt
Guest: Becky Z

Episode Overview

This episode, recorded live from NYC, is a raucous, deeply personal, and hilarious conversation with Joey Diaz, Lee Syatt, and guest comedian Becky Z. It's the last show of 2025, and the trio spends most of the episode reminiscing about Lee’s recently botched wedding (food-wise), the absurdities of wedding planning, the challenges of relationships as a comic, and Joey’s recent trip to Miami, including a classic story of almost drowning in the Atlantic. As always, Diaz’s unfiltered warmth, wild storytelling, and ribbing take center stage. The episode explores the realities of getting older, losing friends, comedy hustle, and what it means to find—or shun—partnerships.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Wedding Mayhem and the Food Fiasco

0:13–15:00

• Lee’s Wedding Recap: Lee’s Brooklyn wedding was a hot topic, especially the food. Joey jokes about the lack of decent food and ribbing Lee for neglecting the “Jews and white people” at the multicultural buffet.
  • “Where the fuck was the food at your fucking wedding?” – Joey (03:36)
  • Lee enumerates the stations: Indian, Mexican, Asian, Jewish. Joey claims the only edible thing was shrimp, and bemoans the lack of eggplant sandwiches and decent pastrami sliders.
• Wedding Planning Regrets: Lee gushes about how hard and expensive weddings are; Joey and Becky agree that eloping might be wiser. There’s a running bit about the “four pastrami sliders” for the Jews and lamb lentil nachos causing gastric distress.
  • “Do me a favor. Anyone watching this? If you're going to get married, elope.” – Lee (08:11)
• Weddings as Money Moves: Joey blasts modern weddings as scams to get money for a house, satirizing lavish traditions.
  • “With today’s world and the cost today, I’m getting married at three. You could come or you could don’t come.” – Joey (09:06–09:08)
• The Realities of Gift-Giving: Jews are the only ones reliably leaving envelopes, Joey jokes, and Lee admits despite high hopes, they “didn’t make money on the wedding.”
  • “But the Jews, they have to.” – Lee (10:10)
• Work/Life/Comedy Balance: All agree relationships, especially as comics, require compromise—harder when nights and weekends are spent at clubs.

Notable Moments

• Becky’s understated presence as the “quiet observer” and youngest among them brings out some good-natured generational teasing.
• Running jokes: lamb lentil nachos, lack of chicken, late-arriving Jewish food, whoopee cushions at the wedding.

2. On Relationships, Marriage, and Comedy’s Hard Choices

16:00–38:00

• Should Comics Even Get Married?: The hosts question the feasibility of maintaining relationships as stand-ups. Joey argues that the early grind is incompatible with relationships:
  • "There is no way I could have done what I did in comedy those first nine years with somebody." – Joey (24:16)
  • Lee shares that marrying later, after figuring himself and his career out, was the best move; divorces in 20s, happiness in 30s.
• Loneliness vs. Companionship: Joey opens up about the loneliness of the comic grind and the emptiness that can come with chasing only professional success.
  • “You could run by yourself for a long fucking time and do pretty well, but at some point, you have to connect with somebody…” – Joey (20:59–21:03)
• Generational Differences: Becky isn’t interested in marriage now, and both Lee and Joey encourage her to focus on stand-up for as long as she wants.

Notable Quotes

• "At some point, trust me, because I never thought I was going to put my life in anybody's hands. You go, you know what? It's that time." – Joey (21:28)
• "It's not like you watched it on NBC News or nothing. A piece of shit... I'm never coming here again." – Joey on childhood experience, Coney Island (76:51)

3. Work-Life Balance: Comedy and Family Sacrifices

38:00–55:00

• Comedy Life vs. ‘Normal’ Life: The hosts compare the sacrifices comics make—missed birthdays, never being home—to those made in regular jobs. Joey describes his wife’s deep understanding and the importance of compromise.
  • “With comedy, it's very rough. This is not for everybody.” – Joey (29:18)
• Pandemic Living: Joey reflects on surviving family time during COVID, emphasizing that even after 25 years, long-term relationships are not all “cotton candy,” but continue to evolve with patience and respect.
• Generational Language Gap: The trio riff on slang (“no cap”), social media, and how “young” culture shifts faster than they can keep up.

4. Food Philosophy, Travel, and the Infamous Miami Incident

55:00–74:00

• Aging and Diet: Joey discusses changes in his food habits: cutting out bacon, getting into farm eggs, protein, and probiotics post-hospitalization.
  • “At 55, people start dropping… I’m not gonna drink soda no more…” – Joey (51:12)
• Miami Vacation, Hotel Buffets, and Food Rants: Joey waxes lyrical about the hotel breakfast spread in Miami, comparing it to NYC hotels and LA spots, declaring the Denver Four Seasons as the breakfast gold standard.
• Almost Drowning in Miami: The centerpiece story—Joey gets knocked over repeatedly by waves at Miami Beach, struggles to stand, pees himself on the sand, and is mercilessly laughed at by his wife and children.
  • “Next thing you know, a fucking wave knocked me over. You guys would never laugh that hard.” – Joey (72:26)
  • “I was laughing so hard, I pissed myself... At this point, I don’t give a fuck.” (73:02)
  • “Every time I put my foot down and go to get up, the wave would hit me again and I go backwards. This happened about four or five times. Then it took me three or four times just to get up to both feet.” (74:08)

Notable Moments

• Other beach-related disasters: as a child, nearly drowning at Coney Island and running afoul of floating “debris”; getting hit by rocks on the beach as an adult.
• Lee’s offer to pay to see resort camera footage of Diaz’s “greatest wipeout” (74:41).

5. Comedy Career Memories and Mentorship

80:00–end

• Working with Becky: Joey and Lee praise Becky for her attitude, work ethic on the road, and how her presence reminds them of their early days. Joey stresses the importance of bringing new voices and perspectives, especially women, into the mix.
• Gratitude and Closing Notes: Despite a rough year for Joey (health problems, losses), the group expresses gratitude for stand-up, the community, and another year together.
  • “It’s been inspiring. Because it’s looking at comedy from a different perspective…with Becky, we’re looking at her develop.” – Joey (81:46)
• Aging Out of the Scene: Joey reflects on outliving his original comedy cohort and the constant need to “roll with the punches” as time (and the industry) changes.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Lee’s Wedding Food Fiasco: 03:36–15:00
• Elope vs. Big Wedding Discussion: 08:11–10:00
• Comic Relationships & Marriage: 16:00–38:00
• Joey’s Comedy/Food Philosophy: 55:00–73:00
• Miami Beach Near-Drowning Story: 72:26–74:41
• Comedy Career & Mentorship: 80:00–84:45

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Where the fuck was the food at your fucking wedding?”
— Joey Diaz (03:36)

“At some point, you have to connect with somebody to take it to the next level. He meant the mob…but I take it as anything…”
— Joey Diaz (20:59–21:03)

“Do me a favor. Anyone watching this? If you’re going to get married, elope.”
— Lee Syatt (08:11)

“You dumb motherfuckers are never around when the good thing happens. The only person who witnessed these things is my wife. And that’s why she thinks I’m a fucking idiot.”
— Joey Diaz, on being knocked over in the surf (71:17)

“Next thing you know, a fucking wave knocked me over… I was laughing so hard, I pissed myself.”
— Joey Diaz (72:26–73:02)

“I looked up and there’s a piece of shit floating in the ocean…I’m never coming here again.”
— Joey Diaz, on childhood at Coney Island (76:51)

“I like having a woman on my show…you cannot serve a person three orders of dick…”
— Joey Diaz (83:08)

Episode Takeaways

• This episode is a classic blend of hard-hitting honesty and signature Joey Diaz humor, anchored in day-to-day realities and comic absurdities.
• It’s about the eternal struggle between comedy and relationships, the insanity of American wedding traditions, the indignities and surprises of aging, and the unfiltered joy—and embarrassment—of being truly yourself.
• The mentoring dynamic with Becky Z adds freshness and perspective to the nostalgia and life-worn wisdom of Joey and Lee.

For new and longtime listeners, this episode showcases The Church at its best: brutally honest, endlessly funny, and with just enough heart to keep you coming back every week.