The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament

Episode: Joey Diaz Doses Jim Florentine’s Friends and Tortures Lee Syatt

Release Date: October 28, 2025

Host: Joey "Coco" Diaz
Co-host: Lee Syatt
Guest: Jim Florentine

Episode Overview

In this hilarious and irreverent episode, Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by comedian Jim Florentine for a raucous exploration of East Coast living, food, family, Halloween costumes, suburban vs. city life, wild football Sundays, childhood misadventures, and the darkly funny side of growing up in Jersey. The conversation bounces from memorable edible mishaps and wedding planning nightmares to deeply personal stories of neighborhood characters and uncomfortable brushes with the weirdos of their youth. Laced throughout: Joey’s raw comedic wisdom about quality of life, friendship, and the value of keeping your circle real.

Major Discussion Topics & Timestamps

1. Food, Philly vs. Texas, and Halloween (00:00–09:57)

• The crew debates the merits of Philadelphia as the top food city vs. places like Houston.
• Joey reminisces about family-friendly Halloween parties, elaborate costumes gone wrong, and the downsides of commercial chocolate these days.
• Standout Quote (Joey, 01:25):
  “This is my favorite city…just go down there and say whatever the fuck I want. I know nobody’s gonna say a fucking word…get the fuck outta here. This will always be Philly.”

Memorable Moments:

• Joey’s botched Big Bad Wolf costume story (04:33–05:11).
• The candy taste test debate between big bags and minis (05:29–06:07).

2. Candy Addictions, Edible Mishaps, and Parenting (09:57–23:25)

• Joey and Lee swap stories about childhood candy obsessions and adult rock bottoms—falling asleep with chocolate, eating stale Halloween deals, and Joey’s legendary edible binges.
• Joey describes his disaster making Jiffy Pop high on 1500 mg of edibles, burning popcorn, and hiding the evidence from his wife.
• Joey (15:13):
  “He fell asleep on the chocolate and it melted all over his bed. I’m like, wow.”
• Lee (15:13):
  “And then I ate it when I woke up.”

Memorable Moments:

• The “Jiffy Pop inferno” scene (20:01–21:40).

3. Comedy Roots, Moving Back East, and Raising Kids (26:15–34:48)

• Jim and Joey trade stories about living cheap in Jersey as young comics and the gentrification of old stomping grounds.
• Why Joey chose Jersey over Texas during the LA exodus and how Jim helped him buy a house in 10 days.
• Raising a kid in a real neighborhood vs. the weird social life of LA:
  • “It comes down to this: Quality of life for your child.” (Joey, 31:40)
• Balancing community, work, and giving your kid a real upbringing.

4. Suburbs vs. City—The Big Parenting Debate (37:00–43:54)

• Lee voices a desire to raise a kid in New York City; Joey and Jim break down fantasy vs. reality, high costs, and why the suburbs offer a better environment.
• Joey (40:14):
  “Guess what, Lee?...I’m moving to Manhattan.” [Joking about only if he had $200 million.]
• Jim (41:06):
  “I don’t want to drive around with spray paint in my car looking for a spot at night anymore.”
• The consensus: city life is great for the single or young, but at some point, peace (and schools) wins out.

5. Edible Pranks, Football Sundays & Real Friendship (63:31–97:13)

• Joey and Jim detail the rowdy, authentic tradition of Florentine’s Sunday football parties—old friends, heaps of junk food, and no Hollywood phoniness.
• Joey’s notorious habit of dosing Jim’s guests and prank-torturing partygoers with edibles:
  • Jim (64:22):
    “He just laid down. He didn’t move for like…he was down for like seven hours.”
  • Joey (64:35):
    “And there was one guy kept putting those ABX tablets in his soda and his beer…like 10 of them.”
• Joey reflects on the difference between these “real” gatherings and the calculated, self-promotional Hollywood parties of LA.

Standout Insight:

• The unique loyalty and shared history of Jersey friends—“These guys have known each other since they were six or seven.” (Joey, 87:09)

6. The Dark Side of Neighborhoods: Childhood Stories (98:38–112:11)

• Jim shares a darkly comedic story about almost being molested by a creepy wrestling photographer as a teen—told with sharp, raw humor.
• Joey recounts oddball characters from his own childhood, blending shock with the cultural realities of the 1970s—and how “the neighborhood” usually kept kids safe from real harm.
• Jim (102:28):
  “He goes, I’m showing you a magic trick…I went and told my brothers…they hit him over the head with the Star Ledger and sent him on a bus back to New York.”
• Lee (111:54):
  “That’s a fucked up episode. What do you mean he didn’t do nothing? He grabbed your dick.”

Memorable Moment:

• Both Joey and Jim ultimately reflect with resilience—“You know, I talk to all these victims, and…I’m very grateful.” (Joey, 109:57)

7. Wrapping Up—Comedy, Simplicity, and Looking Forward (115:06–end)

• Jim talks about loving the simple life now, keeping out of Hollywood drama, and just being happy raising his son and working.
• All three discuss upcoming shows (dojo, Boca, DC) and the joy of just “riding it out”—uncomplicated, unfiltered, and real.
• Jim (116:01):
  “I’m done…Just ride it out.”

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Philly’s Brashness:
  Joey Diaz (01:25):
  “This is my favorite city to go…If you have Americans at your show, they’re gonna leave insulted. But the good thing about Philly is as they leave, people clap. Get the fuck out…That’s why they’ll never be whatever the word is. They’re woke—they’ll never be that.”

• On Halloween in Philly:
  Joey (02:16):
  “We didn’t even go into the stadium and there was already a dick and balls on the wall. She goes, dad, look. Yeah, welcome to Philadelphia.”

• On Eating Candy as Coping:
  Lee (14:54):
  “Candy is my rock bottom.”

• On Moving Back to Jersey:
  Joey (31:25):
  “There’s times I go in the garage and get high and I come back up and I sit there and I go, when is a car—when is a car gonna pass by?…It’ll be 15, 20 minutes…”

• On Quality of Life:
  Joey (40:14):
  “The most important word…is the word ‘quality of life.’ How are you really living?”

• On Football Sundays:
  Jim (67:33):
  “I haven’t seen [guys] like that in 50 years. All those guys are dead. Raw.”

• On Childhood “Street Smarts”:
  Joey (112:13):
  “I thought about it…I never forget going home and going: Should I say something? In those days, if I said something, that would make my mom put more security on me…that works against you.”

• Summing Up the Life Philosophy:
  Jim (116:01):
  “I went through it. I already went through all that chaos…I’m done. Just ride it out.”

Key Episode Themes

• Food & Culture: The deep connections between cities, food, and working-class roots.
• The Irreverence of True Friendship: Raw, relentless ball-busting is a sign of love.
• Quality of Life vs. Chasing Dreams: Deciding what really matters with age and family.
• Comedy Roots and East Coast Grit: A comedic upbringing shaped by Jersey chaos and loyalty.
• Growing Up in the 1970s: Honest, often uncomfortable stories about navigating real life as kids.
• Parenting Today: Striving to give kids a better, wiser quality of community than LA or NYC glitz.

Suggested Listen-Together Segments

• Philly Food and Comedy Appreciation: (00:00–05:11)
• The Jiffy Pop & Edible Meltdown: (20:01–22:12)
• Moving for Quality of Life (Joey & Jim): (26:15–34:48)
• Football Sundays and Old-Fashioned Friendship: (63:31–97:13)
• Childhood “Stranger Danger” Stories: (98:38–112:11)

Tone & Style Snapshot

The episode is unfiltered, wildly irreverent, layered with tough-guy warmth and plenty of explicit language. Joey’s storytelling is equal parts gruff, hilarious, and sagely nostalgic. Lee is the beloved straight man, while Jim perfectly embodies the seasoned Jersey cynic with a heart. Laughter, heartache, and unvarnished honesty blend seamlessly, making for both gut-busting and thought-provoking listening.

If you want to know what it’s really like growing up East Coast, finding laughs amid trauma, and building true friendship, this is a can’t-miss episode.