The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament

Episode Title: The Criminal Mentality
Date: October 21, 2025
Hosts: Joey "Coco" Diaz, Lee Syatt
Location: Live from NYC

Episode Overview

In this characteristically raw and hilarious episode, Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt riff on everything from health scares and aging to the harsh realities of stand-up comedy and the ever-present “criminal mentality." Joey shares recent hospital sagas and reflects on life’s twists from former outlaw to seasoned comedian, while Lee brings updates from the road. Together, they delve deep into what makes comedy, and life, both brutal and beautiful. As always, peppered throughout are wild stories, hard-won advice, and the kind of unfiltered, real talk that defines the Church.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recent Health Scares and Hospital Stays

• Joey’s Declining Health:
  Joey recounts his ongoing health struggles, including repeated hospital visits due to respiratory issues, high blood pressure (notably a reading of 197 over 127 at [11:55]), and urinary problems. His recounting blends humor with frustration, illustrating how aging has challenged his sense of self.
  • Notable quote:
    “10 years ago, I was kidnapping people and putting them in the trunk of a car. Today my bladder is overfilling. You understand what that does to your ego, gentlemen? At some point you go, what the fuck?” – Joey ([13:02])
• Life’s Ironies:
  Reflects on the absurdity of going from criminal activity to the mundane indignities of aging and illness.
• Hospital Stories:
  Joey describes the ER as “like going to the joint,” and finds parallel humility in both courtrooms and emergency rooms:
  • “You’re not going to learn anything in life until you go to courts, see a court session live… or an emergency room.” – Joey ([15:08])

2. Comedy, Degeneracy, and The Road

• Gambling Woes:
  Lee and Joey swap woes about losing at casinos and online, poking fun at their own degeneracy and those who think small bets will yield big wins.
• Comedy as Criminality:
  Joey opens up about how comedy filled the hole left by his criminal past—translating street smarts and outlaw mentality into survival skills in the industry.
  • “I got into comedy because I felt it was a 1 percenter type of deal. It’s like joining a fucking motorcycle gang, okay?” – Joey ([35:29])
• The Evolution of the Comedy Business:
  Reminisces about the camaraderie of the early years, contrasted with the cutthroat realities and rivalries that emerge once comics arrive in LA:
  • “Once you move to LA, all that changes… Now the dynamic changes. You’re not the kid at that fucking open mic no more. You’re in it for the real fucking money now.” – Joey ([41:18])

3. Loyalty, Trust, and the Cutthroat Side of Comedy

• Comedians as Thieves, Not Fighters:
  Joey laments that comics used to stick together against “the world”—now, too many fight amongst themselves, chasing social media beef and drama.
  • “Comics weren’t supposed to be fighting. We’re supposed to be thieves. All these guys that are fighting, they’re all major money earners… Shut your fucking mouth. You go downstairs and you count your money.” – Joey ([55:18])
• Betrayal Stories:
  From sharing cocaine at the Comedy Store to being backstabbed at meetings, Joey tells cautionary tales about misplaced trust in the business.
• Professionalism & Dues:
  Dispels the myth of “selling out,” arguing that every successful comic has paid their dues before landing sponsorships or big payouts.
  • “Before people sell out, they pay major fucking dues, right?” – Joey ([57:14])

4. Changes in the Industry & Life Lessons

• Comedy Club Economics:
  Debates surging ticket prices, club mismanagement, and the post-pandemic decline in late-night shows.
  • “The comedy club has lost the late-night crowd since the pandemic. People want to go home, Jack. And guess what? Me too. I don’t blame them.” – Joey ([66:06])
• Life on the Grind:
  Lee and Joey talk shop about the necessities of the grind—crappy sets, low pay, and learning resilience from tough crowds.
  • “It all starts on that fucking stage. Don’t ever go crazy on me. It all starts on that stage.” – Joey ([73:30])
• Advice for New Comics:
  Emphasizes the need to pay dues, take tough sets, and endure humiliation to build genuine skill and character.

5. Family, Growth, and the Next Generation

• Joey’s Daughter’s School Orientation:
  Expresses pride and joy watching his daughter’s curiosity and growth.
  • “But it’s a real pleasure to watch your children grow… That’s one of the best things. When they come to you and they talk to you and they’re enthusiastic.” – Joey ([34:36])

Memorable Quotes

“10 years ago, I was kidnapping people and putting them in the trunk of a car. Today my bladder is overfilling. You understand what that does to your ego, gentlemen?”
— Joey Diaz, [13:02]

“The emergency room is like going to court. If you’re a professional and you’re really a student of life… you’re not going to learn anything in life until you go to courts… or an emergency room.”
— Joey Diaz, [15:08]

“Comics weren’t supposed to be fighting. We’re supposed to be thieves.”
— Joey Diaz, [55:18]

“Before people sell out, they pay major fucking dues, right?”
— Joey Diaz, [57:14]

“It all starts on that fucking stage. Don’t ever go crazy on me. It all starts on that stage, right?”
— Joey Diaz, [73:30]

Notable Moments by Timestamp

• Joey’s $3 Slots Win, and Hit of Luck: [05:14–05:32]
• Major health scare and the moment Joey realizes he needs the hospital: [06:41–10:41]
• Joey’s blood pressure reaches dangerous levels: [11:55]
• Peeing on his balcony as a morning ritual—aging and dignity: [18:43–19:32]
• Hospital “prison techniques”—Raiding Meds, Eating 6 Boxes of Rice Krispies: [23:25–24:05]
• Comedy as an outlaw lifestyle, and first exposure to LA’s cutthroat scene: [35:29–41:18]
• Backstabbing in comedy—Coke generosity comes back to bite Joey: [46:25–47:37]
• Rising ticket prices and club mismanagement: [59:31–60:50]
• Decline of late night shows post-pandemic: [66:06–67:40]
• Joey’s advice for new comics—embracing humiliation and grind: [73:30–76:29]

Episode Tone & Style

Irreverent, no-nonsense, and genuinely heartfelt; heavy on personal stories, unapologetic opinions, and unfiltered language. Joey Diaz freely moves between comedy, criminal grit, and philosophical musings, with Lee playing both straight man and fellow comic wanderer.

For Listeners Who Missed It

• Expect stories of health scares with a heavy dose of gallows humor.
• Insider baseball about comedy’s evolution, backstage culture, and what never changes on the grind.
• Real-talk advice for aspiring comics: friendships get strained, clubs fail, and only those who grind and adapt survive.
• Moments of warmth about family, getting older, and gratitude for small victories—be it a $3 slots win or a daughter’s bright future.

(Ads, intro, and outro segments are omitted from this summary for clarity.)