
Critical Money Talk You Must Have With Your Parents & Are Homeowners Associations out of Control?
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Clark Howard
It's my pleasure to welcome you here to the Clark Howard Show. You know, our mission is to serve you with advice and information that empowers you so you make better financial decisions in your life. And today I'm going to start out with something that I know is affecting such a big part of our audience. I got to tell you, we got the questions to prove it. The I think it's called the Sandwich generation, where you still have kids that you're launching into life and you got aging parents and you're in the squeeze. So I'm going to talk about that because there's a lot involved for you as an adult child of an aging parent in their money, their security, their safety and also their living arrangements. I want to talk about that, their care. And another thing I want to talk about is homeowners and condo associations. Could they be getting out of control? The amount of feedback we're hearing from people is an emphatic yes. What can you do about it? So let's talk parents. Parents raised you ways both good and not so good, right? But anyway, they raised you and hopefully very loving household. And as they move through life, there's a point at which the roles start awkwardly reversing. And it's not like all like a light switch. It's a series of signals that your parents that are the ones that were your guide, your disciplinary and all that in your youth, you then become an adult, you establish your own life and they're living theirs as empty nesters. And then they reach a point that physically, mentally, whatever, things start changing. People have a lot of pride and parents don't welcome their adult kids intrusions with nosy questions. I'm going to tell you something. You got to push through that for their own good and yours. There comes a time and again, it's not all at once, but where you. And hopefully you have siblings that are going to lift a finger. The dynamics of families are always interesting, and there are people who do the heavy lifting and others who say, huh, that's really too bad that happened to mom. So, you know, it's true in families, but it's about you having ongoing conversations with your aging parent or parents. There could be memory issues, reasoning issues. There could be the inkling, the beginnings of some level of dementia. But what more often adult children react to is physical ailments of a parent. And they ignore all the things that are involved with how they're going to live financially securely and how are they going to be protected financially and what's going to happen when the conversation that most families won't have when a parent passes away. So I want you to be nosy as an adult child. I want you to have conversations. And you don't just go in for a talk. It's an ongoing conversation about different uncomfortable topics like, you know, mom and dad, when's the last time you reviewed your will? You know, to make sure it's how you want it to be? What do you want to have happen at the time you pass away? Do you want to be buried like Uncle Jack was? Or what do you want to have happen? So many families, nobody ever has these conversations. You may find out that your parents long ago bought cemetery plots at a particular place and they want to be buried there, or maybe they want to be cremated. Whatever it is, you want to have these conversations. Some people have actually written out clear instructions what they want to have happen at the time of their passing, and they never give it to anybody. And then kids long after the funeral will say, oh, we didn't know that dad wanted all those things. He never told us. You want to have the conversations. And when there's any inkling that there's any issues with cognitive things, you've got to really get involved and know what accounts your parents have or parent, what their expenses are. These are things that you got to do because let me tell you, the physical side of it's a whole other thing. When you need to be a caregiver or take them to seemingly endless doctors appointments and things like that, that's a whole nother conversation. But the financial side, you need to know what paperwork they got you got to know what accounts they've got. And you need to get your parent comfortable or parents comfortable with sharing details with you. Because if you put it off and put it off and put it off and don't break that comfort zone with them, there's going to be a lot of problems later. And with your siblings, you've got to have ongoing conversations and figure out who's best to do different things. Don't feel like you've got to be Joan of Arc and you're the one that does everything you want as much as you can to make it a team effort, knowing that some team members are going to do more lifting than others. Some may not lift at all, but you want that to be an incorporated conversation so that your siblings are not surprised when you say, oh, mom gave $14,000 to a scammer. That's not the first conversation you want to have with your siblings is when it's a real financial emergency. And some point I got, I could talk about this. We could do a whole special double podcast just talking about this stuff.
Co-host/Producer
I would add in powers of attorney and medical directives, healthcare directives. I had that conversation with my parents several years ago and before my father ended up having a stroke that was pre debilitating, I ended up using the medical power of attorney at that point. And so those things are important to discuss too. And I have this paperwork that I put in my work bag that I'm checking out a charity my father asked me to. He received in the mail. He received a fancy thing from supposedly this charity that helps disabled veterans, which my dad would love to donate to. And they're not legitimate. They're posing as a charity that is legitimate when I look them up. And so yeah, there's so many ways that we can help. And you know, I feel really bad when people don't have people helping them.
Clark Howard
And you and I have both lived in this world of helping our parents in different ways. And it's great to provide help to parents that helped us at different points in our lives, but it's also something you don't want to be fighting for behind.
Co-host/Producer
Right, right.
Clark Howard
That's the thing.
Co-host/Producer
Okay, we'll go to some questions now. Ron in North Carolina says we're a retired couple, ages 69 and 63, living in a two story home that is paid for and in fairly good health. We are considering the next stage of our life, realizing that will be a downsize of some sort. We see our options are downsizing to a single level ranch home, a maintenance Free condo or a 55 plus independent living community. These communities appear to be very popular today and very expensive after. It seems that from a purely financial perspective, the appreciation and equity in these independent living homes do not appear to work very well for the residents compared to with a conventional home or condo. What is your opinion of 55/independent living communities from a financial perspective?
Clark Howard
So from a financial perspective, it's not a normal investment at all. These communities because of the more rapid turnover in population, the appreciation quotient generally is not going to be there like in a traditional neighborhood, traditional housing development, anything like that. The very nature of how a 55 plus community works is really more about living in an environment with people at similar stages of life, having access to the social networks that are in that community, having access to the recreation in that community. So it is a lifestyle purchase, it's not an investment. Now in large metro areas there are more varieties of choices than there used to be. You now have places where, where you can rent. In a 55 plus community there are those that at the other end of the spectrum you have buy in costs in addition to the individual unit that you were buying in the community. The buy in costs may or may not part of it may not ever return to you. There are CCRCs, Continuing Care Retirement communities where people can move into independent living and then stay on the campus and go to different levels of facilities. There is no one size fits all in the 55/ space. But your instinct that it is not a dollars and cents normal investment is completely true because the nature of what you're buying is very different. So if the money matters, a lot of the things you said going single story or going in a condominium community that has the outlets higher levels and has, has thought through maybe having, if there's two bathrooms, one of them is handicapped accessible. Things that as you age in place that you can live in it without having to adapt it as your physical abilities may change over the years.
Co-host/Producer
Of course you've also talked about some of these CCRCs and issues with, you know, financial issues if they were to file bankruptcy or have other issues.
Clark Howard
Yeah, the CCRCs, just if you've never heard that term, the CCRCs, you have a buy in at most of them and the buy in can be anywhere from several hundred thousand dollars to believe it or not, $3 million to buy in to the community. And most states don't have good protections on that buy in money companies will go bust. Your money goes away at that point. In states that don't have any kind of solid escrow rules and enforcement of those escrow rules. So CCRC are a whole different level of risk. With your money up front, a lot of people will sell their home, use the money, the proceeds from the sale of their home to buy into the ccrc, and it's the money you got. And then the CCRC goes bust and that money you got is gone. That was really bad grammar, but I think it made the point.
Co-host/Producer
Mike in Washington says, when I see a reputable organization like most charities, say that my donation will be matched two times, five times or more. Is this for real? Sometimes I'll see that there's a matching gift up to X amount of dollars, but not always.
Clark Howard
Right? So I'm on the other side of this. My. My wife and I repeatedly have organizations that we're big believers in and we will sponsor a match and we'll put up the money for that match. And I hope that people spend every penny of that match and it is a real match. That's not always true in organizations. So you want to see that it says your money will be doubled, your money will be tripled, that it says how that's going to happen, that somebody actually did put up the challenge. And it is our hope when Lane and I do that with any organization, that they spend all our money. And there are times, sadly, that we're not good enough fundraisers and we don't get the full amount of the match, but usually we do.
Co-host/Producer
Herman and Georgia says Fidelity announced that starting in 2027, they will offer annuities as part of their 401k retirement funds. Their thought is that many workers prefer the certainty of income in their retirement. While that sentiment is understandable, people like you and I still think annuity is not an appropriate word to be mentioned on your podcast. I know you have faith and fidelity as one of your children. Is it time to change your mind on annuities? I'm sure listeners would appreciate your thoughts on this topic. Thank you to you and your entire team for great work. Signed a lifelong clarkey.
Clark Howard
Well, thank you for being a lifelong clarkey, Herman. And so this gets confusing. So you cussed how many times on the podcast just then? Because annuity is a cuss word on this show, but what Fidelity is doing is actually really a good idea. So normal annuities are sold by high commission, high pressure salespeople that sell a lot of junk, that you're going to end up poorer, maybe later, wiser, having bought them. Annuity salespeople are not fiduciaries. So they do what's in their best interest. They get them the free trip to Hawaii, get them the override commissions and whatever they're pushing. Not everybody who sells them, but as a general rule, they're selling what gets them the highest commission, not the best benefit for you. That's why I despise commission sales on annuities. What Fidelity is doing is a commission free product that essentially creates your own pension. So a lot of people, the real danger is they're going to outlive their money. And this gives you the certainty of taking the money you've accumulated over the years in your 401k and turn it into a guaranteed source of income. Now, if you're not worried about heirs getting money from you or anything like that, this is a way that you can have peace of mind by converting a portion or all of your 401k into a commission free revenue stream for the rest of your life. So there are people that this is actually a case where an annuity is not a cuss word. And we're going to see more of this with 401k plan administrators offering an option of a commission free annuity where your money is actually going to work for you instead of for an insurance company or lining the pockets of an unsavory salesperson. So I would say that what Fidelity is doing is a word that in the English language can be said and polite company. And that's not generally true for that word. Coming up ahead, living in a homeowners association community, as half of people do, is not all peaches and cream. I want to tell you what you need to be looking out for and when you need to be asserting your rights.
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Clark Howard
Do you know one in four of us pay condo or homeowner association fees. And in parts of the country, particularly in the south and the Southwest, the percent in most states is more than 50% of people are paying homeowners association mandatory homeowners association fees or condo fees. And these have been going up about 5% a year, generally a fair amount more than inflation. And it's really starting to become a burden on people. A lot of condo association fees have been going up at a much higher rate than 5% a year. Not unusual in a number of states for condo fees to be going up 10 to 15% a year. So these fees are becoming a real problem for people who've lived in a homeowner's community. Homeowner association Community or condo community for a long time, they may have bought in the neighborhood when it was a more modest community or more modest condominium project. Over time, the buyers have tended maybe to be more affluent. And they want amenities creep, they want fancier recreation facilities, they want the pool redone, they want who knows what. And then in some states like Florida, you've got the new laws that have led to big boosts and the condominium fees because a lot of condominiums in Florida were not doing proper ongoing maintenance. And now it's all catch up all at once. So this is a tough one. Plus you got to live with the rules. So it's something that was a minor issue that in many communities is becoming a budget buster for people. So when you are looking at a place to live, depending on where you live in the country, again, as I said, it could be more often than not that there's a mandatory association of some kind. When you're looking at places other areas, a lot of the northeast, it's not as common, but you got to know up front what you're agreeing to, because remember, it's another taxing authority and one that you may not have even as much control of as what happens with taxes from your local government. Because there are not normal appeal processes in a condominium community or a homeowner mandatory homeowners association community. There are people who specifically gravitate to these communities condos, because they don't have to worry about a lot of the maintenance, they just pay for it. Mandatory homeowners associations because of the enforcement of rules. And then you know what yards have to look like, what a fence can look like, what color you can paint your door. I mean, there's a lot of things that mandatory homeowners associations can use the power of fining or even the power of foreclosing on you for not following the rules in terms of exterior appearance of the home and the land around it. I mean, there's a lot of power given to these boards. So if you do like that kind of thing, go for it. If you don't know that there's still plenty of opportunity for you to live independent living, not be in a condo, not be in a mandatory homeowners association community. And as an example, in a lot of the country now, you can go into what's known as a fee simple townhome instead of a condominium townhome, and then you're responsible for what goes on outside your dwelling. But if you are in one and you feel like it's run Amok. You want to organize. Just like people in a local community would be mad about something going on in the school district and they decide I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to organize. I'm going to go to school board meetings. I'm going to run for the board. You do the same thing in a condominium community or a homeowners association community. I've been a board member of three different associations over my lifetime, and it's mostly a thankless task being on the board. But I needed to protect my interests and that's how I got involved and ran for the board different times. To be someone who could be part of making things better, in my opinion, in the communities. And that's your responsibility as well. Don't just say they are doing this to me. You don't like what they're doing, you get organized. You're the one that can make the difference.
Co-host/Producer
Okay, Ready for some questions?
Clark Howard
I am ready.
Co-host/Producer
This is from Anna in Georgia, longtime listener and fan here. One of our three daughters recently joined the Air Force.
Clark Howard
Thank you for her service to our great nation.
Co-host/Producer
She entered boot camp shortly after high school graduation. She is looking to get her first credit card and build her credit. So she enrolled in 2024. By the way, she's currently deployed, has basically no bills. Her vehicle is owned free and clear and she has over $30,000 saved right now.
Clark Howard
Wow.
Co-host/Producer
She's contributing to her GI bill as well as her retirement fund. I could suggest she picked something up from you even subliminally while in the car with me for all the years of her youth.
Clark Howard
All right, so since she already is on good wavelength with money, I want her in the Roth version of the TSP that's available to her as a member of the Air Force.
Co-host/Producer
Unfortunately, she has been declined for a credit card because she has no credit score to speak of. Thus far I've heard that adding her as a user to an existing card of mine would help build hers quickly. Is this the case or is there a better way?
Clark Howard
Yes, that is absolutely true. And there's some other things I want her to do. I want her when she's back from deployment, I want her to join the credit union at whatever base she's at. Second, I want her to join USA even if she doesn't buy insurance from them. Be a USA member because once you're in that something available to you for life. And the third thing is I want her to look at joining Navy Federal Credit Union even though she's Air Force they're happy to have people from the Air Force and Navy Federal. There's just such a wide variety of things. And she will be able potentially, once you've added her to your credit, she'll be able to get a Navy Federal credit union card, maybe a USA credit card. She'll be established at a very young age, I guess like 20, 21 years old. She'll be established credit wise, banking wise for the rest of her life. And again, thank her for me for her service.
Co-host/Producer
She sounds impressive on so many levels for sure.
Clark Howard
All that money saved already. Doesn't she know is a a new member of the armed forces you're supposed to blow all your money and my everybody money.
Co-host/Producer
My guess is between her and her mom, she's prob in the Roth tsp. But we'll see.
Clark Howard
Well, you know, it's, it's very important for enlisted personnel in any military branch to go Roth TSP instead of traditional because at the income you're earning, because we don't pay soldiers, sailors, airmen very much, we don't pay very much. So the tax rate you're at is so low at this point in your life that you absolutely want to be Roth tsp.
Co-host/Producer
Michael in Pennsylvania says I know Clark has said before he does not see any problem signing up and taking the free $1,000 for opening a Trump account. My question is, do you think there are any extra security steps needed after submitting that your child's Social Security number into the app? I'm incredibly weary of putting both my and my child's Social Security number in and I don't know if I should should be or not. But I also don't want to give up this free $1,000.
Clark Howard
Sure, every time you put in your Social Security number somewhere there's an additional level of risk. As far as children. Children are a big target for identity theft because they don't have accredited any established yet. So someone looking to create a new false identity looks to steal a child's information. Sadly, most of the times it happens it's a family member who does it. It could be any of a number of distant family members who are visiting, whatever, get into records and are up to no good. But it would be unlikely with registering for the Trump account that a secure encrypted database like that would be a likely target to be hacked into. Although we do have hacks of all different kinds, all different places Pick up the free thousand dollars now for reasons I mentioned on a recent podcast Putting in the thousand if an employer provides free money that they put in to your child's Trump account. All of the good putting your own money into a Trump account. Don't do it. The tax treatment is particularly unfavorable the way money you contribute is put into a Trump account, so I only recommend picking up free money in one Ramonda
Co-host/Producer
in Georgia says there were questions and some Clark stinks about car rental agencies who do not have cars available after a reservation is made. Oh yeah, recently I made a reservation with one of the big companies at an off airport location because I had encountered the problem before. I always called the morning of pickup to check on availability. I was told they had no available vehicles anywhere in the area due to several events in the city that weekend. I simply asked what am I supposed to do now? And one customer service rep told me that they have a policy where they will cover another rental company if I could find another vehicle available. I came back to them and said the second rental company was more expensive and they told me they would cover the difference. And they did one time when customer service was helpful and made me a happy customer. Try this next time. I think they have leeway to offer but hold out for squeaky wheels with which I was oh my goodness.
Clark Howard
What you just described used to be common in the car rental business. You were the first person I've heard of who was walked by a car rental agency and they accommodated you by picking up the additional cost when you were able to locate a car with another company. I am so impressed with you Ramonda. First that you called to check to see hey, do you actually have my car? And sure enough they didn't and then be able to get coverage for the overage with another company. You were an inspiration because if you had asked me what's going to happen if they don't have a car, I wasn't going to have the happy ending that you generated by your own assertiveness. And I am way beyond impressed and inspired by that. So thank you for sharing that story. And what you talked about is something people who infrequently rent cars are not aware of is that car rental companies have shrunk their fleets and they're hoping they overbook and they're hoping that a certain percent of people know show and then times will happen that people do actually show up and they don't have cars. And I had related the story that in January my wife and I were lucky enough to be able to go to Hawaii and we get to the rental car plaza and there were people just everywhere in the parking lot and they didn't have enough cars. If you remember, if you heard that story from me very early this year, because I'm a member of the car rental company express rental thing that they all have and you can join these generally for free. I went into a different line and got a vehicle almost immediately in front of this huge horde of people waiting for a vehicle. Of course I feel guilty when that happens, but it's also something I want you to know about that you join the car rental, whatever car rental you're renting from, you join their renter program, you add that to your reservation. That could be the difference between you spending the first day of a vacation sitting in a car rental parking lot waiting till enough people return a car that it's your turn. You get one or you jump to the front of the line because you're a member of the car rental program that gets you first priority. And I have had to wait a few minutes, but because I'm a member of every program, I've been able to, yeah, jump the line. Not fair, right? But it's unfortunately how it works. And the problem with not having cars on the lot is a frequent occurrence today because the car rental industry is controlled by three companies. There are multiple brands out there, but the ownership is three parent companies. So they'd rather overbook, have as close to a hundred percent rental fleet as they can and disrupt life for various people. And so you got to try different things like just like we heard from Ramonda and I want to thank you so much for joining us today on this Monday and tell you we're with you all week long. Tomorrow we have our Ask an Advisor podcast. Wednesday I'm back with you. Thursday I take off. Friday we're here with you as well on the podcast. But all week long we serve you every way imaginable. And TV markets where you see me on the news, radio markets where you hear me on the news, our podcasts, our YouTube show, our YouTube shorts, our social media clark.com clarkdeals.com and our incredible and free newsletters that are just unbelievable at making you money or saving you money. And you can sign up again for no money@clark.com newsletters. Everything we do is about your empowerment with knowledge so you can save more, spend less and avoid getting ripped off. And see you Wednesday.
Date: July 27, 2026
Main Themes: Elder-Parent Care, HOA & Condo Fees
This episode centers on two major topics:
1. Navigating the financial and practical challenges of caring for aging parents ("elder-parent care"), especially for listeners in the "Sandwich Generation."
2. Concerns and strategies regarding the rising costs and complications of Homeowners' Associations (HOA) and condo fees.
Throughout, Clark Howard and his co-host answer listener questions on related topics, such as retirement living, building credit for young adults, charity donations, annuities, and best practices for car rentals. True to Clark's mission, the tone is practical, empathetic, and focused on empowering smart consumer decisions.
[01:05 - 09:03]
Sandwich Generation Pressures:
Clark describes the difficulties for those supporting both aging parents and launching children:
"It's a series of signals...the roles start awkwardly reversing." (Clark, 02:12)
Necessity of Difficult Conversations:
"You got to push through that for their own good and yours." (Clark, 03:30)
Siblings & Family Dynamics:
"There are people who do the heavy lifting and others who say, ‘That’s really too bad that happened to mom.’" (Clark, 03:20)
Scams & Frauds Targeting Elders:
"He received a fancy thing from supposedly this charity … they're not legitimate." (Co-host, 08:18)
Must-have Legal Documents:
"I had that conversation with my parents several years ago…ended up using the medical power of attorney at that point." (Co-host, 07:57)
[09:05 - 13:34]
Downsizing, Condo vs. 55+ Communities
"It is a lifestyle purchase, it's not an investment." (Clark, 10:25)
Risks with Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs):
"Most states don't have good protections on that buy-in money ... your money goes away at that point." (Clark, 12:31)
[13:34 - 14:44]
"My wife and I ... will sponsor a match ... it is a real match. That's not always true in organizations." (Clark, 13:50)
[14:44 - 18:01]
"This is a case where an annuity is not a cuss word." (Clark, 16:32)
[20:52 - 25:54]
HOA Prevalence and Fee Increases:
"These have been going up about 5% a year, generally a fair amount more than inflation." (Clark, 20:58)
What’s Driving Higher Fees?
HOA Rules & Powers:
"There are not normal appeal processes ... a lot of power given to these boards." (Clark, 22:16)
Take Action as a Resident:
"If you don’t like what they're doing, you get organized. You are the one that can make the difference." (Clark, 25:35)
[25:54 - 31:37]
"At the income you're earning … you absolutely want to be Roth tsp." (Clark, 28:25)
"You were the first person I’ve heard of who was walked by a car rental agency and they accommodated you..." (Clark, 31:37)
"I want you to be nosy as an adult child. I want you to have conversations."
"If you don't like what they're doing, you get organized. You are the one that can make the difference."
"This is a case where an annuity is not a cuss word."
"She’ll be established credit wise, banking wise for the rest of her life."
Listener win:
"I simply asked, 'what am I supposed to do now?' And one customer service rep told me that they have a policy where they will cover another rental company if I could find another vehicle available." (Listener Ramonda, 30:53)
Clark’s episode is packed with practical advice and real-world examples, delivered with his signature mixture of warmth, candor, and actionable insight.