LET’S TALK MENTAL HEALTH: WHY SHAME IS THE REAL ENEMY || JAKE AND JOE SHARP || EPISODE 061

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Code To Winning

Episode 061: LET’S TALK MENTAL HEALTH: WHY SHAME IS THE REAL ENEMY

Guests: Jake and Joe Sharp (J Duo Fit)

Host: Kagiso Dikane

Date: October 13, 2025

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Episode Overview

This powerful episode of The Code To Winning explores the connections between mental health, shame, and fitness, centering on the deeply personal story of twin brothers Jake and Joe Sharp—founders of J Duo Fit. The Sharps bravely share their journey through the tragic loss of their younger brother Sam to suicide, how it shaped their mission, and the philosophies behind their shame-free "Lean and Confident" program. Host Kagiso Dikane guides a candid conversation on male mental health, community, the dangers of shame, and methods to create lasting personal change.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Genesis of Purpose: Loss and Transformation

• Backstory: Jake and Joe recount how the loss of their brother Sam by suicide in 2020 galvanized their purpose, transforming them from fitness enthusiasts to mental health advocates and entrepreneurs.

  • “We never thought we’d do something like this until a life changing moment … we ended up losing our little brother. His name was Sam. He died by suicide in 2020, March 13th. So until that point, I don’t think we had such a huge purpose.” – Joe [00:00]
  • Profound emotions surface as the brothers recall “nightmare” calls from home and the subsequent emotional fallout: “When I heard his name, I couldn’t control myself. I legit started screaming and … trying to deal with it the best I could.” – Jake [00:26, 08:05]

• Impact: This loss shifted their life trajectory from traditional healthcare to creating a mission-driven business combining fitness and mental health awareness.

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2. Shame: The True Enemy in Men's Mental Health

• Statistics & Social Forces: The panel discusses the alarming rise in male suicide rates and the cultural conditioning that discourages emotional vulnerability in men.

  • “The inability to maybe express emotion, to feel safe around other people, to talk about things … comes back to shame.” – Joe [12:46]
  • “As guys or as men, we’re always told that ... nobody cares. Just keep working harder ...” – Jake [14:12]

• Shame-driven Behaviors: Shame is identified as a driver of unhealthy coping, including overeating and addiction: “They don’t think they’re worth the healthy lifestyle. That’s what we see a lot.” – Joe [37:22]

• Breaking the Cycle: The importance of environments where men feel safe to speak openly is emphasized.

  • “It’s okay to talk to someone. It’s okay to form up ... societies that involve people opening up.” – Kagiso [16:08]

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3. The Lean and Confident Program: Science-Based, Shame-Free

• Philosophy: Rejecting rigid, dogmatic fitness advice, Jake and Joe’s program meets clients where they are.

  • “... it’s science-based, it’s science-backed, and it’s shame-free. Once you know the science behind it, you can do that.” – Joe [16:29]
  • “We want people to live their way, their lifestyle … what works for them.” – Jake [18:10]

• Tackling Overeating: Overeating and obesity are framed as deeply connected to shame and systemic psychological issues—not laziness or lack of discipline.

  • “Someone who may be obese and struggling with an overeating habit … These people are not always lazy ... it could be caused by trauma, grief, environment, financial factors ...” – Joe [37:22]
  • “Lifestyle, habits, and patience ... that’s how you become someone lean and healthy.” – Jake [36:37]

• Approach: Focus is on sustainable change, not perfection or quick fixes—a step-by-step program building victories and resilience over time.

  • “Getting those individuals winning as fast as possible and celebrate the small wins ... not about perfection.” – Joe [47:15]

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4. Community and Connection: Vital Tools for Health

• Weekly Group Calls: Building real connection between members is fundamental for positive change in both mental and physical health.

  • “Connection is such a big answer to mental health, physical health, building a healthy lifestyle ... with our community ... we open up topics that are deep.” – Joe [25:29]

• Universal Vulnerability: Warning that those who appear outwardly fine may still be struggling.

  • “It’s often the people that feel like they have it all together ... it’s those people [who...] are not talking about something that they’re going through.” – Joe [30:53]

• Practical Support: Sometimes, presence alone is enough. “Sometimes it doesn’t even require you talking, it just requires your presence. Because your presence is a present.” – Kagiso [32:22]

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5. Overcoming the Plateau: Mindset, Patience, and Internal Change

• Managing Expectations: The team calls out the “30-day push” mentality and emphasizes long-term change.

  • “This is a journey. It’s not some get-rich-quick scheme ... This is like, hey, I’m changing who I am.” – Joe [43:04]
  • “It’s going to take those slip ups ... But uncovering that shame, those beliefs that keep holding you back and get them to unconditionally commit ... is where it starts.” – Jake [45:37]

• Diet vs. Exercise: Nutrition is deemed the biggest factor for sustainable weight management.

  • “Diet drives like 70, 80, 90% of your results.” — Joe [39:58]
  • “It is just being more aware of your calories and protein ... Simple.” — Jake [40:42]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Purpose & Grief:
  “You never forget the, the pain of that first, like, first realization that something like this could happen. Like our, our best friend, our little brother that was at home alone, felt that much pain to choose to take his own life.” – Joe [09:24]
• On Vulnerability:
  “We see it all the time ... it’s being able to have people to open up to and work through those emotions and not be shamed about it.” – Jake [15:05]
• On Shame and Change:
  “An overeating habit is driven by shame.” – Joe [37:18]
• On Confidence:
  “A confident man can conquer anything.” – Kagiso [24:26]
• On Community:
  “Being around people that are on the same journey, building this lifestyle, has helped me see the light more ... when you really feel like, aha, this is it, like, I’m gonna stay in this dark place forever ... reach out to someone.” – Jake [29:36]
• On Success:
  “Winning to us means focusing on the things that matter most in life: connection, making an impact in people’s lives, showing people that they matter and approaching life with more love and belief.” – Joe [52:05]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:00–06:21]: The tragic loss of Sam and its impact
• [12:46–15:07]: Shame and its outsized role in men’s mental health
• [16:29–18:10]: Lean & Confident program: science-based, shame-free approach
• [25:29–32:22]: The vital importance of genuine connection and community
• [33:50–37:22]: Obesity, shame, and the origins of overeating
• [39:49–41:44]: Diet, exercise, and sustainable change
• [43:04–45:53]: Managing expectations—overcoming plateaus and shifting mindset
• [47:15–50:07]: Program walk-through: onboarding and building victories
• [50:07–53:12]: The mission, purpose, and definition of winning

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How to Get Involved

• Instagram & TikTok: @jduofit
• Facebook: Jake Sharp / Joe Sharp
• Programs: DM on Instagram for info about the "Lean and Confident" program
• Weekly Group Calls: Fostering connection and addressing both fitness and deeper issues

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Conclusion

Jake and Joe’s message is as much about healing and connection as it is about health and fitness. Their story is a testament to resilience, the fight against shame, and the power of purpose—and their program aims to empower others to conquer both physical and emotional obstacles.

For anyone struggling with mental health, shame, or starting over in fitness, their advice is clear: Community and connection are lifelines, and overcoming shame is the real code to winning.

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Host’s Final Thought:
“A confident man can conquer anything. But more importantly, they can be able to provide for their family. They can look in the mirror and overcome the challenges that they're facing. Confidence is such a big part of a man’s attribute. And once it’s fully gained … confidence is of utmost importance.” – Kagiso [24:26]

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Transcript

[A]

We do something like this until a life changing moment in our own lives that we got into the gym in high school and we kind of did the whole thing. We got lean. We finally gained a little bit of confidence in ourselves. We ended up losing our little brother. His name was Sam. He died by suicide in 2020, March 13th. So until that point, I don't think we had such a huge purpose. No.

[B]

I answered the call and I remember my mom and dad already crying. And when I heard his name, I couldn't control myself. I legit started screaming and trying to deal with it the best I could.

[C]

Regarding the whole situation. Right now I just feel like it's important for us to fully understand that like it's okay to talk to someone, it's okay to form like what you guys have been doing. Societies that involve people opening up.

[A]

So much of social media is, hey, you need to do it like this way or you're doing it the wrong way. So it's just making sure it's. We want to really stress that the Lean and Confident program is science based, it's science backed and it's shame free. That's why we say you could eat whatever you want. Once you know the science behind it, you can do that.

[B]

Yeah. We want people to live their way, their lifestyle, and that's what we're helping people do is finding or works for them. Like what gets them the results they're looking for that they've always wanted, but also something that actually the code two.

[C]

Winning insights you need today to seize the world tomorrow. Today we have Double Duo. We have a special guest, or special guests rather. We have twins in the studio. These are my brothers, people I've known for a while, people that have been very transformative in the fitness industry. They go by Jake and Joe. I call them Jake, Jacob and Joseph. All right, without further ado, they are the CEOs of J duo fit. The entire purpose of their program is to try and help and uplift men to become lean and confident in their process and in their transformation as well. We're going to talk a lot about, if you're curious and learning a lot about like overcoming overeating, struggling mental health, suicide prevention, all these different components. This is the episode for you considering the fact that they've experienced something very, very significant. Also very life changing in their life as well, which we're going to dive deep in at the same time. So without further ado, our amazing and special guests, Jake and Joe. How you doing, brothers?

[A]

Hey, that was amazing. I love that Intro. I don't think me and Jake have ever been introduced like that. I freaking love that KG and all up to you. It's been great getting to know you as we dive deeper into these topics that like you said, could be heavy suicide prevention, all the struggles mentally and then just the frustration of building a healthy lifestyle and what that looks like and overcoming an overeating habit, dropping shame, all these deep topics. I know we're gonna touch a lot of people's lives today.

[C]

Love it.

[A]

Making me feel some type of way.

[C]

At the beginning of the podcast.

[A]

I'm just joking.

[B]

No, during the podcast you'll probably hear us go between two different, two different big reasons why we created this brand, why we created this business, and we're excited to share it all.

[C]

Awesome stuff. And so you guys were born and raised in Arizona your whole entire lives. Were you guys like, like born in Christianity and stuff like that? Can you, can you kind of go into it?

[A]

Yeah. Born and raised in the AZ Valley. Yep. We were born and still a part of the Church of Jesus Christ, Latter Day Saints, huge church. A lot of people known it as the Mormon Church.

[C]

But yeah, awesome stuff. All right, so I'm very curious and I mean, you and I, we've spoken and we had an episode about two years ago. Unfortunately, it's up in the clouds somewhere. So one of these days, through the help of Elon, we might be able to retrieve it. But as for now, the work must move forward as well. So I want to talk a bit about the life changing events that may have happened in, in your lives as well. So if we can just start. Before you started this J. Duofoot, what led to you guys starting this specific program?

[A]

Yeah, so we, we kind of got into fitness at an early age, but we didn't, we maybe thought, we always thought we would be like going to medical school or. My dad's a pa, my mom was a nurse, my sister's a nurse, my wife's actually a nurse. So we always thought we're gonna go that route, like that route. But sometimes in high school we're like, hey, maybe we're like a personal trainer. But we never thought we'd do something like this until a life changing moment in our own lives that we, we got into the gym in high school and we kind of did the whole thing. We got lean, we. We finally gained a little bit of confidence in ourselves and then we went to go serve our church missions for the Church of Jesus Christ. And in Mexico, Jake actually went to Tijuana. I went To Puebla, just for a couple months. And then we ended up losing our little brother. His name was Sam. To. He died by suicide in 2020, March 13th. So until that point, I don't think we had such a huge purpose. We never even considered like owning a business, doing the whole entrepreneurship route, having like this big calling from God in our hearts to go impact people in this way. So everything changed after that.

[C]

And Jake, you in Mexico as well at the time, right? Yeah. And how was it when you guys received the news?

[B]

I'll let Joe tell his piece, but I was caught off guard. The mission is hard for its own reasons. Trying to learn a new language, get accustomed to a new culture, dealing with all the standards that a mission brings. Just being away from everyone that you've ever loved. But then having to receive that call was never, never my plan. And it always, the last four or five years, it's always bring me back. Like, what if I didn't go out on a church mission?

[A]

Would he still.

[B]

Would he still be here?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's never something I ever planned for. And it's still to this day, like I remember walking up that hill in Tijuana. We were coming back from a family and I already had like a feeling that something was off. I got a call from first my church leader that was saying that my parents had to talk to me. And I was already like dreading the call because I knew something had to be wrong.

[C]

Did it ever cross your mind that it could be Sam?

[B]

No. No, I. I started, I answered the call and I remember my mom and dad already crying. And when I heard his name, like I couldn't control myself. I legit started screaming and.

[A]

Trying to.

[B]

Deal with it the best I could. But yeah, it still like brings me back to that moment. I still have all the same emotions. Like if I. If I take time to think about.

[A]

It.

[B]

And I. I still question, like, would things be different if I stayed home? But yeah, I don't know.

[C]

And for you, Joe, can you recall the moment you received the news and how it was for you?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because you never forget that day.

[A]

No, I don't think. I think if you asked anyone that has lost someone in a tragedy in any way, whether it's suicide, whether it's a car crash or anything, that that call is like something you have nightmares about.

[C]

It's.

[A]

It's something that the little things could bring yourself back to. It's like when you hear that moment or like you hear that whether you were there or you're receiving a call from A family member telling you something happened. It's like my body, like in a way, like my body remembers that. And just like Jake said that it's the weirdest feeling like out there in the. Doing normal missionary activities in Mexico. And then like that that day already had a feeling like throughout the day that something was dark or something was up. And then I got called into the mission president's office. I had no clue, like I thought it was for like I was getting assigned to a new area or something like that. Just like some, some normal mission stuff. But you never forget the, the pain of that first, like, first realization that something like this could happen. Like our, our best friend, our little brother that was at home alone, felt that much pain to choose to take his own life.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Like I just remember pulling at my hair, screaming, being angry with God. All the emotions, it's everything.

[C]

And I think that's. I just love what you guys have shared right now. And I think from like my studies of this, the topic is you get to understand that at that point in time, they saw no way out. Like they saw this to be the only solution to overcome the internal pain that has been building up over time as well. And it's hard because there's so many external factors like would have, should have, could have, had I been in the US Rather than being in Mexico, had I been in that presence, what could have happened as well? And you can go to as much therapy as possible. Nothing will ever be the same again. You can heal, but the loved one is not going to be there. You know what I'm saying? I think that's the hard thing about is the fact that you can heal, but they're gone. You know what I'm saying? And one of the things I love about your guys Instagram page, by the way, it's the fastest growing Instagram page in all of Arizona.

[A]

So.

[C]

Jg, your foot is going to be down at the, in the comments section as well. But you guys have brought a lot of awareness there, which I kind of want to go into. What you guys have been doing, especially right now being Mental Health Month. Men's Health, Mental Health Month right now. I want to lead to a question before I continue. Statistics have shown in the last six years that the suicide rate among men has been increasing at a rapid pace, three times more than women and is significantly going higher as well. Why do you think that's the case among men and young, young guys and, and people that are. Yeah, male.

[A]

I, I personally think there's a Lot of different factors to it, but I think one of the main reasons is the shame around men and the. The inability to maybe express emotion. Emotion. To feel safe around other people, to talk about the things that they may be battling inside their head. I think even society sometimes shuts men down to feel a certain way. I think a lot of it stems back to that. And then of course there's other factors like them never feeling enough for anyone. Them battling certain financial stat, like financial things in life providing. I think there's so many different things, but it comes back to shame. The inability to express. Express emotion and process things.

[B]

Yeah, I think Joe hit on the two biggest ones is being able to be open and honest with someone about the things that you're going through without being like shamed for it or put down about it. Because like, as guys or as men, we're always told that.

[C]

Nobody cares.

[B]

Yeah, nobody cares. Just, just keep working harder, keep. Keep doing what you need to be doing. And there's, there's so much truth to that is, is taking that responsibility. But the, the other side of that is actually being in touch with your emotions and being able to work through those. And so many men just shove them down, don't open up to the people around them and they just take on all this weight. And it gets to a point where they just can't anymore. And they. They maybe suffer with mental health issues or in other ways. Even too with addictions or other bad habits. We see it all the time. But just being able to have people to open up to and work through those emotions and not be shamed about.

[A]

It are two big reasons.

[C]

Reasons. And it's also been proven, obviously with a lot of addictions, everything has got a psychological effect on it. And everything is psychological. So sometimes in addictions that have been facing through men, whether it be alcohol, it's a mechanism that. To try and cope with the pain that they're feeling internally. Pornography, drugs, all these different stuff. And so regarding the whole situation right now, I just feel like it's important for us to fully understand that like it is. It's okay to talk to someone. It's okay to form up what you guys have been doing. Societies that are. That involve people opening up because men usually open up with people they trust. Women, it's a little easier. You meet her at a bar, she tells me a whole life story. I'm like, what the heck? My name is kg. Let's start there, you know, so those are the repercussions. So we had an internal joke of repercussions, by the way.

[A]

So.

[C]

So I think that's important and I think, which I kind of want to go into what you're doing. One of the things I love about the Lean and Confident program is the fact you guys have stressed on the importance that, listen, it is okay for you to eat certain stuff, but it's about the level of discipline. Can we kind of segue into that and if there are any repercussions of, with what you eat.

[A]

Yeah, I love the word repercussions. Listen. No, no, the thing is we like, I love that you said you could eat whatever you want. I don't want you guys watching, listening to this or watching this think, oh, these guys just eat whatever they want. That's because that's not the case. We, the Leaning Confident program and the community that we, we built and are building is science based. Me and Jake really want to stress that because there's so much, there's so much fear mongering out there around nutrition especially. There's so much fear mongering on like what you should, you need to be doing training wise, the specific lifestyle that you need to live. But not a lot of it is science based and actually backed by the evidence. And so that's what we have taken the time to study our role modeling ourselves after the people that are actually science based and know what they're talking about to make sure we're teaching the right people, like the right things to our people so they're not like confused by all the fear mongering online because that's such a huge thing. Because fitness nutrition, that's so much of social media is, hey, you need to do that this like this way or you're doing it the wrong way. So it's just making sure it's. We want to really stress that the Leaning Confident program is science based, it's science backed and it's shame free. That's why we say you could eat whatever you want. Yeah. Once you know the science behind it, you can do that.

[B]

Yeah. We want people to live their, their way, their lifestyle and that's what we're helping people do is finding what works for them, like what gets them the results they're looking for that they've always wanted, but also something that actually sticks and becomes a part of who they are. And a lot of people think that's, well, I have to restrict everything. I have to be a bodybuilder, I have to do this or I fail or I don't get the results. And Joe And I just don't think that's the case. You don't see it with the people that we work with, the real results, the. The people that we see winning on, the leaning confident. Not only ourselves, but our clients are the people that learn how to drop their shame behind their eating habits, their workout habits, and build a lifestyle, build those habits that work time and time again, that keep them feeling good, getting the results and finding the joy through it all.

[C]

I'm grateful you guys touched on that. And sometimes social media does put that way, because you see a lot of the trendy stuff where you have to wake up at 4:00am, jump in the pool at 5, and then by 5 or, you know, 5, they have to like dive in the water as well. So just five minutes when you're up in the air, what the heck's going on down there? But lean and confidence, back onto that. And I've seen you guys, the pictures of you guys before the transformation. Respectfully, you guys look like Teletubbies, you know, Tinky Winky and Dipsy.

[A]

I think we've actually. Yeah, Jake said we've actually used like the Teletubby music behind one of the like transformation photos. That's gold.

[C]

No, the reason I'm adding on that, when I've been training within the past few days, they have been pushing me beyond my limits. The first time I've been in the gym so many times consecutively. And everything that they teach is what they live by as well, which has been a very, very exciting thing, which I fully concur. So speaking about that transformation and lean and confidence, why those phrases?

[A]

We again want to stress lean is healthy and not. I know maybe some of you guys might think like, lean is like bodybuilder lean. No, that's not. What we're talking about is a healthy body fat percentage. And between men and women, it might be different, but in a, in a lean body fat percentage. So you're living the life that you want to live and you're comfortable with the body that you have, and then confident, confident in your ability to sustain this lifestyle, confident in the body that you're building, the body that you have, and confident in the tools that you have to take care of your mental health. That's why it's the Lean and Confident program and community.

[B]

I think there's so much behind our, our brand, why we wanted to coin lean and confident. We, you guys, we just talked a whole lot about Sam and he's enter time into our purpose. But also, as Joe and I'S story as well. Like, going through high school, we didn't have the confidence. We were actually struggling mentally a lot. And then we left on our missions, gained a bunch of weight, and then got that call.

[A]

How much did you gain, Telly? Tubby, tell them how much you gained.

[C]

Who was Tinky Winky among the two of you?

[A]

What are the other names?

[C]

Hey, I'm so. I'm just. I'm embarrassed. I know all four of the names, bro. Like, I didn't watch it by choice. I had a little. And I didn't even have it. I had a little brother, and so I just saw. I can't even know, like, the colors of them. I think Tinky Winky's purple. And I think, like, there's like, Dipsy, Lala and Po.

[A]

Oh, now it's coming back.

[C]

I don't know how I know them all, but that's a story for another day.

[B]

Yeah, I gained 55 pounds in four months.

[A]

I gained, like, 40 to 45 pounds in three months.

[B]

Yeah, so. So we put it on. And we can still put on weight so fast if we didn't live the leaning confident lifestyle. But there's so much behind the confident part on Joe and I finally finding our confidence, building the right tools, the skills, dropping the shame that We've built over 10 years of bad food habits, binge eating, bad habits in general, whether that's pornography, beating ourselves up. That confident phrase is so much more than just like, freaking trying to look good in the mirror or whatever. Like, being that bodybuilder. It's so much more than that. Lean and confident is hopefully going to change each individual that we want. Like, that watches our stuff. It's. It's not about us. It's. It's about them building their own lean and confident lifestyle so they're confident in themselves and they keep working and building a life they want.

[C]

Man, I love what the both of you said a lot. And you can tell the transformation that has happened and there's a purpose behind it, like your brother Sam, and trying to avoid and prevent a lot of people that may be feeling that way as well. Because you'd be surprised that even sometimes among our closest circle, it takes a certain level of bringing the walls down before somebody can actually end up, like, exposing and talking about what is really like, bothering them. And obviously, once you experience a suicide very close to a family, naturally you start randomly checking up on people. Like, dude, is everything okay? You know, something you've never done before? And then, like, you just randomly keep calling Is everything all right? Like, are you. Because you, you don't want to try and, and see something happen like that again? Because it's a pain that is so hard to get out of. It's like a dark place where you're just completely overwhelmed by so much of pain, anguish, and just bitterness, like questions that are not answered and they can go unanswered as well for a long time. And I think it's in, it's important that confidence is first instilled within us before we can try and like push it and help other people. And I've seen it with both of you as well. And a confident man can conquer anything. You know what I'm saying? But more importantly, they can be able to provide for their family. They can be able to look in the mirror and overcome the challenges that they're facing. Confidence is such a big part of a man's attribute. And once it's fully gained, not the fake ones you see on social media. And they say it, I'm not gonna go into those bloody gurus, but let's go in. But confidence is of utmost importance. So I'm grateful you guys shared that. Which kind of like segues now into the community. So what, what's part of your community? What do you guys do in those communities?

[A]

I love, I think my favorite. Yes, of course. I think we love getting, having the opportunity to work with someone one on one and getting deep with them and what their struggles might be and helping them change their life. But the group aspect of this and to me and Jake, to meet with people weekly on Zoom calls and to be able to build community in our audience like our platforms, Instagram, TikTok. It's so it helps because connection is, is such a big answer to mental health, physical health, building a healthy lifestyle, healthy connection with others and what that looks like is so important to me and Jake and we know that it's important for everyone to, for their mental well being as well. So with our community, we, we really try to. Especially on these group calls every week. It's our favorite thing to do because we open up topics that are deep. We talk about the shame of overeating, shame that you might be feeling with your past mistakes, your mental health, depression, anxiety, why exercise intertwines with all of that. How could you approach nutrition in a sustainable way? All these, all these deep topics and, and going through topics with the community that people feel understood. People feel like, hey, these people might feel the same way as me. It helps people feel like they have, they could Take another step forward that they could find hope when they might not see it. Because, like you were saying, kg, it's like a lot of people are stuck. And we know this personally. Talking to so many people that have reached out. So many people, they don't feel the light. They don't see light. Me and Jake could talk about hope and tell them that they matter, but a lot of times there's so much darkness and they're swallowed up with this darkness that they can't even, like, they don't know the next step. That's why connection matters so much, because connection in their daily life, like, not only with, like, people online, but real connection with real people. And I think a community brings that aspect out where they feel seen and they feel like they could take a next step.

[C]

And before Jake speaks on that, I want to stress on that whole connection thing, which I like so much. And as I've been going from city to city, there's something that, when I've been with you guys in Phoenix, that even if we may be like, let's say, a different part of your place, the fact that, you know someone is there. You know what I'm saying? And that's what I realized when you start, like, putting the dots together, like, as human beings, we are social creatures. We crave connection. We need connection. And that's why from our beliefs, we know that our family is the most important social unit for time and all eternity. And that's what God designed us and put us in, families. But not just that. The fact that we are social people and we can overcome these anxieties, the depressions, if we connect in a deeper level of what Joe just said. Sorry, Jake, you're saying.

[B]

No, I just wanted to follow Joe. I don't know why I'm smiling about this. Sorry, forgive me, but connection is huge. I was gonna mention just examples, like how many times just going to the group call that we hold or like, connecting with our community has helped me, like, overcome some bad, bad depression or even, like, overeating habits that have stacked up. Just getting around people that are doing the same has even helped me when I'm. I'm supposed to be like, the.

[A]

The coach.

[B]

Being around people that are on the same journey, building this lifestyle has helped me see the light more, has helped me find the joy in this process more. And I even. We just did a. I'm remembering a concept piece we just put out on connection. And some of our examples were, like, dealing with the suicide, dealing with life's troubles, like, the Things that happen that. That really beat you up. There's been so many times where what saved us or, like, what has gotten us out of that place was going to hang out with family. Being around our nieces and nephews, just having a good time, getting around good friends has literally helped us so many times. I can't even count. Like, when you really feel like, aha, this is it, like, I'm gonna stay in this dark place forever. Like, I can't. I don't know how to get myself out. Reach out to someone, reach out to a friend, reach out to a family member, and you'll begin to find that light. You'll begin to find that joy again. I really believe that.

[A]

Yeah. And I think I would add that for those that want to help and reach out to maybe people that are struggling mentally and you don't know. It's often the people that feel like, oh, they have it all together. Like, you see them and they have it all together. It's often those people that are making people laugh, that are helping other people, but they're not talking about something that they're going through. Like, that's one of the key things about our little brother Sam, is he was the guy that was constantly reaching out to other people and making other people smile and being the man to show, like, that Christ, like, love, the pure love for people. But a lot of his, even high school friends or of course our family kind of knew the struggles that he was going through. But a lot of the people were blindsided with his. His passing because he looked fine on the outside. So to you guys that are, like, questioning when I should reach out is these. These people check in on every. Everyone, because everyone. It's gotta be like, people go through things. That's just life. But even the people that look put together.

[C]

And I. I couldn't agree more. And it's also the genuineness and how you reach out. It's. I think it's so important as well, because you guys have experienced me at some of my lowest low. But there's never been a time when you guys haven't failed to, like, say, hey, listen, kg, we know what you've experienced in your life. Like, we love you and do this. Sometimes people just don't know how to act in certain situations. And it's. It's hard to really say because they've never experienced a. A certain level of, like, a deeper or a close person, you know, commits suicide or something like that. So it's harder for them to reach out because they're like, okay, what the heck do I say? Let me just go like a post on Instagram. No, no, like just go out there and literally just reach out. And sometimes it doesn't even require you talking, it just requires your presence because your presence is a present. KG Shakespeare. No, I couldn't agree more. And so now back to the, the overeating part. You know, one of the leading causes in the United States of death is actually obesity.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

Bloody McDonald's overeating over. There we go.

[A]

Okay, it's that terminology.

[C]

Precisely. Thank you for the correction. Thank you very much. Why is it such a concern that people just seem to be overeating right now?

[A]

I'm glad that you brought that up. Jake. You could go into this.

[C]

But before Jake, are you trying to say something? Yeah. Why you say Jake should go into it?

[A]

Is it a. Oh, I just want to say with what you said is like we just, we were just talking about this on Instagram and, and we, we always talk about this. Obesity and suicide are one of the main pro. Two of the main problems in the world today with mortality rate like people dying. And so that's why me and Jake are focusing on these topics like overeating, shame, because we know these, these shame is the driver of a lot of this overeating and mental health struggles.

[B]

Yeah, I would. Before I go into like why we.

[C]

Think.

[B]

There'S so much obesity with what Joe said, I just blanked.

[A]

Give me one sec. What did you just say about obesity and suicide?

[B]

Oh yes, no obesity. And I would even say like why, what's our purpose is to help people with their mental health struggles. Not only like people that have committed suicide or people that have suicidal ideations that, that have had thoughts of taking their own life, but just mental health struggles, depression, anxiety because they, they go hand in hand. Mental health and physical health, they, they really do go hand in hand. But your to your question on like why do you think obesity rising or people overeating?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think people, I think social media is a big thing right now. Like they think that they have to be a certain way whether they have to be the carnivore bro, they have to be the bodybuilder bro, or they have to be the bikini model or else you're not, you're not anything. You can't enjoy a healthy lifestyle. So it's a lot of that fear mongering like we talked about that plays a role in why people just don't, don't get this right. Or they try those methods and they're like, what the hell? I can't get this right. Like, there's no way I can do this. I, I love, I love my food food. I, I don't want to be this bodybuilder, so I, I guess it won't work for, for me. So. People don't, don't focus on the right things. They don't focus on understanding their diet better. They don't focus on understanding their lifestyle better. They don't need to be this David Goggins. They don't need to be this bodybuilder that they, they idolize. They, they just got to be them. They just have to understand their diet better, understand their lifestyle habits better. Because at the end of the day, it's just lifestyle habits and patience. That's how, that's how you're gonna get the results. That's how you become someone lean and healthy. Lean and confident is creating that lifestyle, having the right habits and having the patience that this takes to, to drop your overeating habit to build the muscle you want it. It's those three things.

[A]

And an overeating habit is driven by shame.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And driven by shame around food shame, personal shame with how they feel about themselves. So they don't, they just don't think they're worth the healthy lifestyle. That's what we see a lot is they truly believe that. Like that's why you see a lot of people start a fitness journey, maybe 30 minutes, 30 days in, 60 days in, and then they result back to who they actually believe they are or they, who they believe they're worth. And so they go back to those same habits that they coped with, overeating, all that stuff. But I think when you really under like you uncover their shame and the deep internal issues because someone that may be obese and struggling with the overeating habit, regardless of what your fitness guru says or some freaking head ass online is gonna say, these people are not like always lazy. These people are not always undisciplined. There's so much more to that. It's such a blanket statement and so stupid stupid. But these, it could be caused by different like trauma, grief factors of like social factors of environment, your financial like all these different things play a part on why they may be, have overeated to like to become obese. And then it's just taking what, where they're at now and helping them drop the shame that they built over years. The beliefs that haven't, haven't served them and haven't helped them go Go back to a healthy lifestyle and help them. Just like Jake said, lifestyle, habits, patience. But it's understanding the deep internal issues that these people might be dealing with.

[B]

Joe definitely answered that better than I did. Maybe it's because I blanked before that.

[A]

But he definitely answered your question better now, you guys, I am a lot better. Tell them.

[C]

That'S the repercussions of being twins. Yeah, no, that's our. Our internal joke right now is repercussions and all that. But what's more important between. I know they go hand in hand, but what would you say is more important right now in working out or diet?

[B]

I. I would say understanding your diet better with.

[A]

Yes, with I. We would say especially for.

[B]

Dropping your.

[A]

Lifestyle and, and dropping weight to a healthy weight and being able to achieve that goal of yours to build, like, build a sustainable lifestyle. It's Diet drives like 70, 80, 90% of your results.

[C]

Okay. Literally, like macros your protein. Right. Because I think I was stressing on one thing. I'm like, gosh dang, like, I'm not even eating. If at anything, I've been eating less the last two months, probably like one big meal a day, but I seem to somehow still be like three months pregnant. So I'm like, what the heck is going on? So I think it's about the level of protein you get. Fiber, all the different stuff. Right. So what would be scenario like, which in someone's diet that could help them?

[B]

Yeah, the tactical. I want to keep it simple because that's where real progress is made is when you just understand your diet more in a better way and you keep it simple. But like, the question that you always get asked is like, how did you lose the weight and keep it off? Like, how. How did you build that transformation? And it's simple. It is just being more aware of your calories and your protein. That's where I would start, and that's where we start with 99% of our clients is being more aware of your calories and your protein. Focusing on those two things, that's going to be the biggest driver of your results. Not even like, we wouldn't even go to like tracking every single macro, but just being aware of your calories and protein and focusing on that does. Does wonders. That's where you see the most results.

[C]

Yeah, and I, I eavesdropped something actually last night with the two of you, which I liked so much. Jake and I are very similar in the sense where we need to see results now, you know what I'm saying? And I, Well, I wouldn't say either, but I think in a scenario that you and I were talking about, and I'm in the same way with the brand I've been building. It's nice seeing the steady progress, but I'm like, the amount of guests I've been getting, I should be in like 200k, you know what I'm saying? But it's the level of like, I see so much of progress every single day. But sometimes we always have the end goal in mind. And when I was like, listen to the conversation you're having. I'm like, you know what, I'm a hypocrite as well, because I'm going through that where it's like, why is it not that, like, I, like, you guys have seen my schedule. You see us sleep four or five hours a day. I, I'm like, I've done like five different states in the last five months. Like, I, I'm so passionate what I do. And sometimes I feel like the effort you put in is not necessarily reflecting the current result that you have, but not yet the end result, which segues into like the fitness journey. Yeah, how can you convince those people or like the clients you end up like taking on board when they want to just go to the gym for a week and look as sexy as you guys?

[A]

Oh, I'll take that compliment. Part of, dude, part of a fitness journey is learning to take compliments. Or like, just like when you've built confidence finally, like, and you didn't have confidence in yourself, is building the confidence, like being able to take compliments. But I think it's so apparent, like I said, like that 30 day push, it's. We see it with so many clients and then just people that we talk to that have like just started their fitness journey again. It's after that 30 day hit usually, or just a little bit longer, where someone will lose momentum or that maybe, maybe they plateau and they have to go a little bit less in calories or move a little bit more, increase their steps or something. They, they could let that plateau be a sign that, oh my gosh, I'm right back to where I started. Or like, like, I've really, I'm really just the same man struggling with the same things. Like if we, me and Jake, don't step back and help them uncover that and be like, hey, this is the science of it, like losing weight. Especially if you're coming from like, hey, I gotta lose £100. This is a journey. This is not, this is not some get rich quick scheme or like get fit quick scheme online that everyone is promoting. This is like, hey, I'm changing who I am. I'm building a lifestyle. So it's vital for me and Jake after those first couple weeks because when you're doing the right things and you're being aware of your calories, weight starts to drop pretty quickly. That, like that, that first couple weeks. But it's when they hit plateaus or when they, when they've been, they need to maybe take their calories a little bit letter like a little bit less is like, that's when we need to coach them the most on like, hey, change your perspective on this because this is what a weight loss journey looks like.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's helping them uncover those beliefs that they run into every time that challenge, that challenge ends, every time they fail on their diet, every time they slip up is helping them see that this is what it takes. This is what it takes for you to actually become a different person or create a, create a new lifestyle. It's going to take those slip ups. It's going to take those times where you are like, where the heck are my results?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But uncovering that shame, those beliefs that keep holding you back and get them to unconditionally commit to a new person and tackling those beliefs is where it starts.

[C]

Awesome. And obviously with like the use of technology, I mean, when I was also in Idaho, you can measure calories, you can do the workouts, there's videos. Like, it's, it's, it's easily given as a blueprint to make it as simple as possible where they literally, they just get into the gym and follow like the program that has been designed by you guys over years as well to try and like help get people in that right trajectory. And I think that's the most important thing is trajectory. You know, it's hard. Like, like I said, I'm, I'm not perfect at that. I. And it's not that I want like results right now. I just know how much I put in, in everything I do that it's like, it doesn't reflect it some, you know, and so, but when, when you see the end goal, like this morning when I, I couldn't even lift my hand and shower, that's when I know you guys did a good job. Like, and like, what's going on? Why.

[A]

So that's a great workout.

[C]

No, no, I love that so much. So for the viewers out there, if somebody wants to get in touch of you, what can they expect from the Program, like what's the first thing that you guys go into and like is a group call. Is it workout? Like, is it different stuff? Can you guys kind of break down a few of the programs you guys have?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

When we first, when someone first enrolls in the Lean and Confident program, the key, I think what we've learned as coaches these past couple years, being in business and helping people is to get those individuals winning as fast as possible and feel and celebrate the small wins. And I think that's so important in someone's fitness journey is to show them like, hey, when you do the science based stuff and you stop focusing on being perfect and showing these clients and individuals that are getting enrolled that hey, you're gonna slip up, you're gonna, you're going to make mistakes because we're human just like anyone in business, they're going to slip up, they're going to make mistakes. Any relationship, you're going to make mistakes. Getting them to understand that and it's not about perfection. It really helps individual learn and celebrate small wins and they feel like a winner along their journey. I think that's so important in the first couple weeks.

[B]

I love that with their first couple weeks, you know, kg, where like our whole brand is lean and confident, but it's overcoming overeating because of Joe and I's journey and being able to help others find the right tools. So not only helping them see the small wins to those first couple weeks, but to lead them through a process that starts to drop their shame, gets them to unconditionally commit to the process that just like Joe said, is not being perfect at this, but identifying those limiting beliefs that are building up shame behind your overeating habits or even your workout habits is walking them through that process. And we have coaching calls with them every week. And then like there's our group call on Thursday. Helps connect others, but then actually having a structure for them that's personalized. And we work through this with them like weekly as they check in with us. But building their lifestyle is the most important so they're not relying reliant on anyone else or anything else but themselves to, to build those tools. So we have the nutrition structure that's, that gets them aware of their calories and protein. We also have a workout structure that gets them to build the what muscle they want and we help them keep accountable.

[C]

Love that. Love that. As we approach like the, the conclusion, I want to just ask probably two more questions.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What would the purpose and mission be of what you guys are trying to do right now with lean and confidence. What's the purpose and mission?

[A]

I think the biggest purpose that we have right now, especially tying in physical health and mental health and working people with the lean and confident program is to help people drop shame. To help people drop shame with overeating so they build a healthy lifestyle and they finally find more consistency. And then I think shame ties so much into mental health and so helping them drop shame with the personal things, maybe past mistakes and helping them really feel like they matter. I think that's a huge part of what we do.

[B]

Love that because that's our focus in our. In our business. I would add to help each individual live their life to the fullest. Just like Joe said, it's about physical and mental health. So getting them to believe in themselves more or more than they do right now to live a better life because it's possible for each and every one. Whether that's getting them to laugh more more results in their physical health, bettering their mental health. Of course, finding light in their life, finally connecting with others, I think that goes into it. But living their life to the fullest.

[C]

Love that, love that so much. I often ask people this question as we conclude because it's the code to winning and you know, insights you need today to seize the world tomorrow. From your opinion from the both of you, what is the definition or how would you define winning?

[A]

I think maybe our definition of winning has changed throughout life and I think a lot of people, their definition of winning changes throughout life. And I think winning to us means focusing on the things that matter most in life connection, making an impact in people's lives, showing people that they matter and approaching life with more love and belief. I think that's winning for me right now.

[B]

I would agree with Joe is focusing on the things that matter and letting go of the rest is. Is the answer. But just to switch it up a little bit is winning is being able to live the life you want and going after the dreams you want and letting go of the rest. I'll just put that in there. Is like living the life that you want and dreaming big as well but then letting go of the things that you can't control.

[C]

Powerful. If you could let our viewers know where they could get a hold of you. Your Instagram handle the program, the website which will all be in the description section. You let them let them know please.

[A]

Yeah, you're gonna find me and Jake J. Duo fit with a dynamic duo. The twins on Instagram. Tick tock and then just find us there and then DM us through Instagram and we could get you hooked up with the Leaning Confident program if that's something that you'd be interested in and you feel like this is the next step for you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Facebook's also Jake Sharp. Joe Sharp. It's another social that we have, but, yeah, that's where they find us.

[C]

Awesome. Yeah. The code winning insights you need today to seize the world. Tomorrow, JDO fit the Sharp brothers. Thank you very much, brothers.

[A]

Thank you, kg.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

It's awesome.