Episode 53- Meg

Summary

The Collage Podcast Episode 53 - Meg: A Journey of Resilience and Redemption

Released on November 20, 2024, "The Collage Podcast" by Feed My Sheep delves into the compelling story of Meg, a woman whose life journey embodies profound resilience, spiritual awakening, and the transformative power of community support.

---

Introduction

In Episode 53 of The Collage Podcast, hosted by Feed My Sheep, listeners are introduced to Meg—a beloved member of the Temple, Texas community—who shares her harrowing yet inspiring life story. This episode sheds light on the challenges Meg faced growing up in the foster system, surviving life on the streets, battling addiction, and ultimately finding solace and purpose through faith and community support.

Early Life and Adoption

Meg begins by recounting her early years, stating, "I'm from Grand Rapids, Michigan" ([00:47]). Adopted at the tender age of three by her aunt and uncle, Meg moved to Texas at seven, where she grew up amidst a dynamic foster care environment. Her adoptive family was part of a bustling foster home that accommodated over 300 children during her upbringing ([00:44]).

She shares, "I've lived in Waco, Clean built in Temple. Moved all over the place," highlighting the instability and constant movement that often accompanies foster care. Meg's adoptive family consisted of nine siblings—five adopted and four biological—illustrating the extensive reach and complexity of their household ([02:05]).

Childhood Experiences

Meg's childhood was marred by abuse, a common yet seldom-discussed reality within the foster system. Reflecting on her experiences, she reveals, "The only thing I remember for mine, I was 2 years old, is them breaking a 2x4 over my sister's butt" ([04:40]). This traumatic incident underscores the severe physical abuse prevalent in some foster homes.

Her host, B, echoes the severity of such experiences, sharing a similar story of witnessing a sibling's fingers being broken as punishment. Meg confirms her own suffering, stating, "I got hit with it... Yeah, she was the last one and it broke over hers" ([06:15]).

Despite the abuse, Meg cherishes the bond with her older brother, recalling, "It was just always me and him. Like, always me and him against the world" ([07:43]). This relationship provided a semblance of normalcy and companionship amidst the chaos of her early life.

Teen Years and Abuse

Meg's teenage years brought new horrors as her adoptive father began sexually abusing her at age thirteen ([09:27]). When she mustered the courage to speak out at sixteen, the repercussions were immediate and devastating. Upon revealing the abuse, Meg was expelled from her adoptive home, thrust into the unforgiving streets ([10:44]).

Her sister's brief refuge did little to alter her dire circumstances. As Meg recounts, "She threw me out to the streets. So I've known street life since I was 16" ([11:32]). This period of her life was characterized by survival struggles, fear, and the constant threat of violence, especially as a young woman navigating the streets alone.

Life on the Streets

Life on the streets was a daily battle for Meg. She describes the omnipresent fear and uncertainty: "If you went to sleep, you wake up and you don't know where you're gonna eat... You just don't know what your day is gonna hold" ([16:03]). The constant vigilance required to stay safe, coupled with the unpredictability of each day, took a significant toll on her mental and emotional well-being.

Meg emphasizes the specific dangers faced by women on the streets, noting, "I know what happens to women being drugged and raped and you get afraid to fall asleep" ([12:47]). The vulnerability and lack of trust in others made survival a solitary and perilous endeavor.

Path to Recovery

Amidst the darkness, a turning point emerged when Meg made the courageous decision to seek help. Tragedy struck when she and her husband, Denny, buried their dog, an event that deeply affected Meg and became a catalyst for her desire to change: "The day I made the decision to get better was the best day of my life" ([25:47]).

With the support of her community, Meg entered the Adult and Teen Challenge program in San Antonio—a rigorous treatment center focused on addiction recovery and spiritual growth. She describes her experience as "a year at the feet of God, learning about God, learning his truth to battle the lies I had in my head for years" ([23:08]).

Despite numerous obstacles, including difficulties in securing a physical and the emotional challenge of leaving her familiar yet hostile environment, Meg persevered. Her host expresses immense pride in her accomplishment: "Meg is an extremely good artist... I'm so proud to hear that" ([36:14]).

Personal Growth and Faith

Meg's time at Adult and Teen Challenge was transformative. Immersed in spiritual teachings and surrounded by supportive peers, she internalized profound truths about self-worth and divine purpose. Reflecting on her spiritual awakening, she states, "That I am wanted. I am seen, and that there's so much more for me in life than I kept saying" ([25:28]).

Her journey from desperation to gratitude is encapsulated in her acknowledgment of God’s unwavering support: "He sees everybody... you are a magnificent work that he has created" ([25:38], [29:06]).

Art and Self-Expression

Art became a vital outlet for Meg's self-expression and healing. She shares her artwork featuring empowering messages such as, "Self love isn't selfish. It's necessary," and "Fake love is worse than real hate" ([33:19], [33:35]). These creations reflect her inner strength and commitment to genuine self-worth over superficial relationships.

Meg explains, "Fake love is worse than real hate," emphasizing her preference for honesty over deceitful affection. This philosophy underscores her journey towards authentic self-love and the rejection of toxic relationships ([34:18]).

Message to Listeners

Throughout the episode, Meg delivers a powerful message of hope and affirmation. She urges those struggling with similar adversities to recognize their inherent worth and the possibility of a better life: "Because they are worth it. And we have a strong, mighty God who is waiting for them with his arms open to show them all the blessings he has for them" ([42:07]).

Her testimony serves as an encouragement to listeners facing homelessness, addiction, or despair, reinforcing the belief that "there is no mistake too big that, oh, God's going to turn his back on me now no matter what somebody thinks" ([39:11]).

---

Notable Quotes

• Meg ([00:47]): "I'm from Grand Rapids, Michigan."
• Meg ([04:40]): "The only thing I remember for mine, I was 2 years old, is them breaking a 2x4 over my sister's butt."
• Meg ([07:43]): "It was just always me and him. Like, always me and him against the world."
• Meg ([09:27]): "My saddest memory... the day that my dad, my adoptive father, started the beginning of sexual abuse."
• Meg ([25:28]): "That I am wanted. I am seen, and that there's so much more for me in life than I kept saying."
• Meg ([33:35]): "Fake love is worse than real hate."
• Meg ([42:07]): "Because they are worth it. And we have a strong, mighty God who is waiting for them with his arms open to show them all the blessings he has for them."

---

Conclusion

Episode 53 of The Collage Podcast offers an unflinching look into Meg's life—a narrative marked by suffering, survival, and ultimate triumph through faith and community support. Her story is a testament to the human spirit's capacity to overcome even the most daunting adversities, inspiring listeners to find hope and purpose amidst their struggles.

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Hey, we want to welcome everybody to another collage podcast. We are excited today. So we have, in my world, somebody we've known for a while, but then I would also say this is a special guest today because she is visiting us. She's been away for a little bit, and she'll kind of explain that. But today we have Meg here, and so we're going to. Meg, tell us a little bit about you. Who is Meg?

[A]

Meg is. I'm from Grand Rapids, Michigan.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm a Yankee. I moved to Texas when I was 7. Grew up with a lot of foster kids. I was adopted at 3 years old, and, yeah, I lived in Texas for a long time, so. Okay, refried. Texan.

[B]

Okay. So that means we're gonna backtrack real quick. So born in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. And would not have much memory of Michigan. Little bit.

[A]

Not really. Maybe a couple memories.

[B]

Okay. And then came down to Texas when I was seven. When you were seven. And then raised up with a lot of foster siblings. So. How many foster siblings?

[A]

Oh, gosh, like, in and out? Probably over 200.

[B]

Oh, and you stayed at a place?

[A]

No, I was adopted in Michigan when I was three by my aunt and her husband.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I had a brother and a sister adopted with me, and then I had two, three sisters and a brother that were already there. So I have total. I have nine siblings.

[B]

So. Nine biological siblings? Yeah. Or foster.

[A]

Five of us are adopted and the other four are biological.

[B]

Okay. Okay. So it came down, and then what part of Texas? Hey, I'm sorry about that. Okay, now, so for a year in Mejia, Texas, and then you grew up in Mejia, Texas?

[A]

No, no, we moved a lot. Okay, foster kids, let's see. I went to Bahia Coolidge, Lorena Bruce, Felitti Moody. Moved all over the place. I've lived in Waco, Clean built in Temple.

[B]

Okay, so then in the foster system, from age, what, to you aged out in the system?

[A]

No, I was two when I went into foster care and three when I was adopted.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then they had several, like, probably closer to 300 foster kids from the time I was adopted to grew up.

[B]

Who had 300 kids. That's what confused me.

[A]

Foster kids.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

My adoptive parents, they had.

[B]

That came in and out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Got it, got it. Okay, so then that's a world that you've known quite a bit.

[A]

Yes, yes. I've seen all the evil things that can happen to kids. I've seen. I've seen every race, every background, every. Everything coming in out of there.

[B]

Golly. Okay. And like that. If we've learned anything, just to everybody out there, listen, make sure we always have to say this. We're in a little place called Temple Texas. So not Mejia, but it's in this area. So we're right in the central part of Texas, kind of right in the middle, kind of a small town. Not T90, but it's. It's small. And that's where we're at. And then what Feed My Sheep is like, where we're at is we provide services to a lot of different kind of people here. But, like, Meg just got done. We got Tay is in here watching today. But they provided and helped serve lunch. And we probably serve 150 to 200 people today. Every day we do lunch seven days a week, 212. So that's every day we do that. And different people come and volunteer and serve here. And the only commonality. And there's not a commonality, but many of. Many of. Many of the people that come through the door that we served lunch today would tell me the same sentence is, when I was a foster child, they came through the system.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So many of them. And some good stories and some not so good. Some foster families are very good, and some are very, very difficult.

[A]

Mine was difficult.

[B]

Yours was difficult.

[A]

The only thing I remember for mine, I was 2 years old, is them breaking a 2x4 over my sister's butt.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So, yeah, there's some horrific ones. There's some good ones.

[B]

So, like that, and we're not gonna like. Okay, that is absolutely staggering to me. Like that one. I had another young lady who was in here, and she was in foster system, and same deal. She remembers her sister getting every one of her fingers broken as a form of punishment because she was playing with a toy she wasn't supposed to play with, and she had to watch. This occurred to her. No, it occurred to her. She took the punishment for her sister because she was 4, the sister was 2, and she knew that she was going to get in trouble. And so she showed me. Sitting where you are, Meg. She was. And just the same as I would say, hey, did you see it rained last night? She said, oh, you've never noticed my hands, have you? And I'm like, well, no, I've never looked at your hands. I'm sorry. And she held up her fingers and every one of her fingers at the base joint down here, they made a little bit of a jog, kind of. They weren't completely straight because the mom broke them. There. Broke them there. Broke them there. Broke them there. Every one of her fingers. And you're going, what kind of world do we live in? And then to hear this, you watched your sister get hit with a two by four that broke on a two year old.

[A]

For talking.

[B]

For talking. Yeah. Normal punishment, isn't it? That sarcasm.

[A]

For them. Yeah. For them it was okay.

[B]

Okay. Out of that. Okay. So anybody like. So for me, I'm hearing the story and I am trying to figure out how in the world am I supposed to function normal out of just hearing that occurred, much less to watch it occur to somebody you care about. And you're a kid. And I'm guessing that if the abuse like that would have occurred that way, then some would have come your way too.

[A]

I got. Yeah, I got hit with it.

[B]

Did you?

[A]

Yeah, she was the last one and it broke over hers, so.

[B]

Oh, okay. Nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. God, Lee. Okay, so let me ask on that. Not in that realm, but we're talking childhood before we get. Because there's so much that I want to talk to about the adult, but we kind of got to go a little bit to the child. So just for fun, let's start with if I said, Meg, tell me your happiest childhood memory. In childhood could be whatever in your. Your context. But tell. Tell me the happiest memory you have as a child.

[A]

Me and my brother.

[B]

Okay, tell me about that.

[A]

It was just always me and him. Like, always me and him against the world. We'd always go outside and play and just. I mean, we just did our own thing because even though we were adopted, things weren't great. It wasn't. It might not have been physical abuse per se, but it was still not great.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I just remember me and him always playing and, I don't know, just making ourselves happy and.

[B]

How old is he? Older. Younger.

[A]

He's 48 and he's here in temple.

[B]

Okay. But so younger than you. Older. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'm terrible at math. Okay. So older brother. And I'm guessing probably in that sort of a protective keep an eye on you type.

[A]

Yeah, brother.

[B]

And that's y'all.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. And you're. So we can't forget in this story your young kids trying to grow up, but then also have this extra burden of we got to watch out for each other.

[A]

We still do.

[B]

Still do. I'd imagine that bond doesn't go away, and then at an early age you learn this horrible fact that the world is not always filled with good people.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

It's not. Okay. Unfortunately, there is people that do bad stuff to people that don't deserve bad stuff to happen to them. Okay. So happy memory is you and your brother being together to have somebody with you and it. It matters.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, tell me, looking back on your childhood, saddest memory you have as a child.

[A]

Like, how far back as a child?

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

My saddest memory. And this is a hard one. Okay. I might cry. Okay, this is a hard one for me. It was the day that my dad, my adoptive father, started the beginning of sexual abuse.

[B]

Okay. That. That's a bad day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And again, we will say the sentence. The world is filled with some really bad people. Okay. And just for just roughly, you were how old when this began?

[A]

Thirteen.

[B]

Thirteen. Nice. Okay. And we won't go down that path at all. Thirteen. Okay. And so we go into our teenage years. High school. Go to mijo high school.

[A]

No, I ended high school in Lorena.

[B]

In Lorena. Oh.

[A]

I quit in the 11th grade.

[B]

Okay, fair.

[A]

Yeah. Due to. At 16, I let it out, what my dad was doing and I got thrown out of the house. So. Okay, I've been on my own since.

[B]

You've been on your own since you were 16. Okay. And you got asked. Thrown out of the house because I.

[A]

Was called a liar.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. What else are you going to do? Yeah, know. Come on. You know. And. Oh, she's lying, making. Oh, no, I'd never do that. So here you go, you got a horrific situation, you have somebody who comes and goes, it's got to end. And you, you try to find help for you, and now you're. You're on your own. Tell me what that means for a 16 year old girl. Where did you go?

[A]

My biological sister kept me with her for probably a month or two and she asked my parents for the check they were getting for adopting us every month and they refused. So she threw me out to the streets. So I've known street life since I was 16.

[B]

Okay, can we talk about that just a hair? Okay. Been on. And you've been on the street for a lot of years. So now that you and I are getting older, so I would say it's almost fair. It's fair to say you've been on the streets longer than you've been in the house. Correct. Okay. So a majority of your life, this is how you've had to survive. Okay. And for those of you who don't know, if you're not watching this, if you're listening to it you are female.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, so I mean like so that in it. So the questions are going to be geared that direction. So let me ask you, what would be the right word? What is the most difficult part about being a lady or female outside on.

[A]

The street falling asleep at night?

[B]

Okay, what does that mean?

[A]

That means I've seen the evils that happen out there. I know what happens to women being drugged and raped and you get afraid to fall asleep.

[B]

Okay. So let's give me not just like here out of. Because if any Meg is 100% honest and then. Okay, just don't let me forget this. I don't want to get distracted because I also when I think of you. Meg, we're going to come to this. The thing that comes back and I still have on my phone. It's really weird. Okay, so I have a picture of you on my phone of when you and I buried your dog boss back over there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I found out what happened to him by the way.

[B]

Okay. And we'll talk about that. But I remember that day. I remember being out there with you and what occurred and still still breaks my heart. And then I remember. Do you remember what you told me after we did that? Okay, you told me after we did that and I didn't do anything other than I helped you dig a hole. We did this and we just kind of mourned together. And you said that might be the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me. And I thought that was unbelievably sad. And I'm like, we just buried your dog. Okay. So I don't want to forget that. So, Megan, I have known each other and so out of this. So tell me. Out on the streets, just because some people have a perception out on the street that gets like, it's cool or man, this is awesome freedom and whatever this stuff that may come into it. Okay. But let's get the reality of it for a lady or a guy like this is this is neither one or non binary or transitioning this way or that for any person, the predatory sexual animals out there are horrific. Agreed.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

Okay. And so then that is always in the equation. Physical strength and. Have I got myself in a bad place over here? And what's going to happen here? And the potential of sexual violence is always there.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then let me ask you this. Did it occur to you while you were out on the street?

[A]

There's been times where I was told it happened to me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But the memory of it if when you're drugged like that it's. You don't remember nothing. And I'm grateful to God for that one. I don't want to remember.

[B]

No. Agreed. Okay. So Meg is out on the street. Tell me, give me a rough idea what it looks like to survive on. Tell me what a day looks like out on the street. Kind of walk me through a day.

[A]

If you went to sleep, you wake up and you don't know where you're gonna eat. You don't know who you can trust that day. You don't know. You just, I mean, just don't know what your day is gonna hold. Because I've seen so many things happen out there. Like people getting beat up or people. I've seen people that got stabbed by each other or cut or. And it's just fearful every day that that's gonna happen to you. So you just kind of try to stay to yourself and survive. Not knowing if you're going to be cold or hot or just. It's just not knowing.

[B]

Yeah. So it's a whole lot of not knowing. And then I would imagine sleep. It's not like you're going, well, hey, you can't sleep good because you're always worried who's going to come up on you. So then it's a perpetual sense of you're tired, you're wore out. Even when you sleep, you don't sleep well, you don't sleep comfortable. Um, and I imagine, and I can say this because I know guys, because I'm. Then there was probably opportunities to stay inside at places, but there was a cost associated with that.

[A]

Yes, always, always.

[B]

Oh, you can stay with me. But that means this, you know, and you know, and sometimes inside is better than outside, you know, but not, not, not.

[A]

And thank God I was never one that I, I never took any of those propositions. I never. So I, I knew it would happen if I went in.

[B]

That's right. But it's always on the table there. And then I watch here always. And I'm. This is another sarcasm. These Grand Samaritan, like these great well meaning guys in their car that'll pull by that they. On finding and seeing somebody who looks like they might possibly be homeless and they just have this money burning a hole in their pocket that they just really badly want to get rid of and they would be willing to pay you X amount of dollars to do whatever and you're like, what in the world? You know, and that's every not. But that's just the reality. It is of that world. Just saying the Reality doesn't mean that you lived in that world, but that's just the reality of a lady that's in that world. And I would say it's also a reality of a guy that's in that world as well. There's just as many people asking for them to stay at the house and just many people that are going to stop on the cars and say this and somebody transitioning or somebody that. The same. I'm just talking to you because you happen to be female.

[A]

So we're saying that it happened both ways.

[B]

Yes, it happened. It's. The predatory nature of people is horrible.

[A]

Evil.

[B]

Evil, horrible. Okay. And so you. You look that in the eye and then. So let me ask you out of that one way of lack of a better term, maybe to cope with that life. And the life that you had is then substances became part of your world.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. So we've known that part of your journey. We can talk about it because we're not in that part right now. It's in your past. And we're just going to briefly touch on it because it's one of my not pet peeves. I can see both sides of it. But you are not. You're not defined solely by your past and somebody who's coming out of addiction. I get both of them. There's pride to be saying, I haven't done this in this amount of time. But I also would go, it's not even part of me. I don't even speak of that. I can see both. And so. But we're just going to glance at that. So we developed some difficulties with substances and issues.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. And so then we will fast forward on up to. It was right about the time that we. We buried your dog. In that time frame, Meg made an unbelievably difficult decision on her own behalf, which was she wanted to get well and she was tired of living this life that she had been living, you know, and so Meg came and we got some people that could work together. And through some. It wasn't necessarily even easy to get into a place. And I remember, you know, trying to get a physical for you was absolutely a train wreck of difficulty. And there's a doctor out there who. I won't say his name so he doesn't get in trouble, who did a big favor for us and came and did a physical here because nobody would do it for you. And we couldn't get. So you're going all these hoops that somebody who's just trying to get well had to Jump through to get there. And everywhere you're like, going. I was. I was going, good gosh, just get out of her way and let her get the help she needs.

[A]

You know, definitely obstacles.

[B]

Obstacles. And it didn't need to be in this process. And so you're going, ugh, okay, but we get you in. And then Meg didn't just get in treatment here and here being temple. She went outside of our community. And I won't say, but she went outside of her community into a place that you did not have much support system in that area you went to.

[A]

No, you can say the place because more people should go there.

[B]

Well, then there you go. Say, where did you go?

[A]

Adult and Teen Challenge in San Antonio.

[B]

Okay. So Meg went to get help there. Okay. And all you really knew about that place was Denny and Casey said it was pretty good. And she went and agreed that I'm going to take a year off of my life and to go to a place that I don't really know anybody. And then. And she did. And then all the people around here. I mean, everybody. Oh, don't go. And whatever this and that, you know, because they missed somebody that they could use with. And. And all of this stuff. Okay. And so Meg goes off, and then so many of us are praying for Meg and to see her now. She is. She's flourished. She's done so well over there. We would get reports from her, different sporting events that you got to go and work at, and she got to go see stuff. And the race. Did you go to the race?

[A]

Trip nascar? Yes, I did.

[B]

She didn't.

[A]

Motocross?

[B]

Yep. So she would send pictures and rub it in or. Or somehow I would get pictures of the group that was working. Okay. And because she wasn't, she couldn't communicate with people much until Outside world. That's right. Tell me about that experience.

[A]

It was a good experience. It was hard at first because everything I knew was here. Everybody I knew was here. And there was a lot of. It was literally a year at the feet of God, learning about God, learning his truth to battle the lies I had in my head for years. And it was memorizing scriptures and doing schoolwork and just learning to have a relationship with God. And I got to learn how to live with women. Tell me about that one, man. It was rough. It was rough. But we all loved each other. And we went to pro golf tournaments, basketball, football games, nascar. I mean, everything you could think of, we went to. And it was just. I. You have to have the desire to complete that program, I saw a lot of people come and go.

[B]

Did you really?

[A]

So many people come and go, and they just weren't ready. I mean, it's a lot of work. Like, every day you were sitting at a desk or you were at a produce plant working or on work crews. You didn't get a lot of sleep. And trying to memorize 50 weeks of scriptures and all of Romans 12 was a big thing.

[B]

Okay, that's a lot.

[A]

It's a lot. But I did it.

[B]

Okay. Very proud of you.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

If nothing else you hear out of this whole podcast, I will tell you, so, so, so proud.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

To hear that you and to see your diploma deal. It really does, you know, and, like, so in it. Okay, don't take this the wrong way, and I don't mean it the wrong way at all, but I can hear how it would sound. It's so encouraging for us to see somebody care about themselves enough to want to get better and to do the effort. It's nice because sometimes in this world, you can falsely make the sentences and go, man, doesn't anybody want to help themselves? And that's a wrong sentence. And I'm not saying that, but it is an encouragement. Like, you are an encouragement to even me to go, man, look at what Meg did. And it's not easy. So let me ask you, in that. Okay. If I said, tell me about some of the truths you learned about God. So put them in words. What's some of the truths that you learned about God there?

[A]

That I am wanted. I am seen, and that there's so much more for me in life than I kept saying. This is what God wants for me. That's not what God wanted for me.

[B]

No.

[A]

And I. He's opened so many doors for me. I've got a great job. Yeah. I've just. I love life. I used to beg for death before I left here.

[B]

Did you really?

[A]

I thank him for life every single day now. Like, I used to think death was better than being on the streets and dealing with and. But the day I made the decision to get better was the best day of my life.

[B]

Very nice. Let me ask you, what made you come to the place to go? I want to make this decision today.

[A]

My dog.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I know that was. That was a hard one.

[B]

That was a bad day. Yeah, that was a bad day. I still remember. I will die remembering that we were in the office. You were sitting in that chair. I can still see it in my head. That was a bad, bad day. You were really, really Hurting. And it was just. And we had to. He had to go to a better place. And then I took him, and then I promised you what? That I'd be with him. And so I went with him. And we. We went to the place and they weren't able to. To make him well, but then they. Then out of that, we had already agreed that then he needed to go peacefully, so we did that. And then we went back over here and we created a place that you could sit and you could. You could be with him. And then out of that, well, much. There was much sadness in that moment, but then much beauty has come out of that. And so I'm not saying that the dog traded his life so Meg could finally make the decision to get better. Not at all. We're not saying that. But even out of that bad, tragic event, God still had good that could come out of it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. And so out of that, Meg goes, I really want to. To truly live. I want to even see if that's a possibility, you know, first up, and that is to go, I don't know what this means to truly be alive, but I just want to see if it's even an option for me. And so you did. And so you went on that. So that one of the truths, and I like it. Magnificent that you're wanted, huh? Be pretty easy for somebody in your shoes to go, huh? I've been beat since I was this age. I've been in and out of all these different things, watch people come and go to believe I'm not even wanted, you know, be easy to convince yourself that that wasn't true. And then, so I like the fact that you saw that and that you're of worth, that God created you and goes, you know what? For the world, that one certainty, like, for you, he may he will in all of eternity, for all of time, only only once in the entire landscape of the world, create one of you. That's it. He stops and says, this is the best Meg I could ever make.

[A]

And no, what verse is it? Is it Jeremiah 29:11? I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.

[B]

That's right. Or then Psalm 139. So the mind. So Psalm 139 is, you were intricately woven together in your mother's womb, and God's good and pleasing thoughts about you are innumerable. And you are a magnificent, magnificent work that he has created. So these are truths like. And it's not like God puts them in things that we can't even understand. He puts it plain and simple. Okay. But we have a hard time believing that, like the world teaches us. Jeff, that's crap. You're not good, you're not special, you're not this or that. And I. Yep. God doesn't believe that. So let me ask you. We know the truths that you learned. What lies did you learn that you were living? That you've come to find out that are lies?

[A]

That God. God didn't have anything good for me. That he didn't see me, he didn't. That he created me just for people to beat on or. And I don't know if you remember the day that my head was split open.

[B]

I do.

[A]

And that was one of the lies I always believed, like that's what I deserved. That's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I know better. It's. It's not true. It's not what he had for me. It's the life I was choosing to live that caused that.

[B]

Agreed. And you can see on this side how you could look at your life and go, well, yeah, I somehow, lack of a better term, I somehow deserve that. Well, yeah. I mean, what's just normal for somebody to hit me with a two by four? I deserved it, you know, because I talked back or whatever. And then somebody who's not in that picture would go, it's. It's not normal, Meg, you're not supposed to get hit like that. Yeah, that's not how people are supposed to be. But you could see. Well, that's. That's just how it's supposed to be. Well, yeah. And then if I try to let anybody know about it, well, then I'm gonna lose the little I have. Even though this house is crappy and everything sucks here, it's still a house and I got a place. And if I say anything, then I'm gonna lose this too. And you're like, oh, you could see where this path goes. So it is really great to hear out of this that at this process that we're. You understand the truth of how you were divinely put together by God. And. And then he. And I would say I would even maybe a step further to go. He didn't just put you together to get beat. I would even. And I'm not going to put emotions because I can't claim to be God and I'm not. I would even go so far as to say his heart breaks when these things happen to Meg. He hurts. And he would hurt when Meg is hurting that same way and not sitting there going, whoo, Yep, that's how I made her. Yep. Congratulations. Good. Yep. I put her to get beat. No, he hurts because that's not the world and how he wanted it to be. And he's like, no, Meg, I came so my son could come. Says, you would have life and life abundantly. So all of that, lot of path. We've had a lot of this and. Yeah, I know. You're going to tell me I still owe you money for picnic tables.

[A]

You do. We'll call it a donation.

[B]

No, I don't forget. I remember things. Things stick in my head. But Meg is an extremely good artist. She has a piece of art that she doesn't know that I keep. That you painted? Yeah, for sure. What would I have taken? It's from a different chapter. Same chapter. Time. Let me see. Can you remember? You got a couple signs floating around still that you painted. What does it say? Yeah, tell me what it says.

[A]

One says, oh, crap.

[B]

No, it doesn't say, oh, crap.

[A]

No, I just. I just read it yesterday.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

Oh, self love isn't selfish. It's self love isn't selfish. It's necessary.

[B]

Okay, and then what's the other one?

[A]

I think the one you have is real. Fake love is worse than fake love is.

[B]

Wait, that's right. You got it.

[A]

Love is worse than real hate.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And it's true.

[B]

I. I kept that one because you painted that and I thought it was a profound sentence. And I remember the chapter that you had painted it for. I think it had to do over some boy that you were sweet over. Oh, yeah. I'm just joking with you on that. But that sentence, I'd never heard such a phrase. And the phrase fake love is worse than real hate, what does that mean?

[A]

That means I would. I would rather somebody just hate me than to pretend to love me and me give them all my love that I have and then just take advantage of it and abuse it. And I'd rather you just hate me.

[B]

Yeah. So that. I mean, like that. And then to think, well, that's the world we live in.

[A]

Yes, it is.

[B]

Yeah. And that people, oh, you know, whatever. This boy or this girl or whatever. Oh, and then they insert some phrase. If you love me, you would do this or just do this if you care about me or do this if you care about me or do that. And thank your God, man. Just go ahead and own it. You hate me. Yes, I'll just deal with that. You know, don't pretend like you care about me and you care. Anything that happens to me, your Motives are selfish. You don't care about me. Just own it. So I kept. I mean, like, just, it is what it is, and so I'll take it. Oh, this one. Stay away from him. He hates me. You know, I know that there's plenty of people that are like, man, I can't stand Jeff. And some that are like, man, I talk to them and they think if they're nice to me that I don't know that anytime I turn my back on them, they're sticking me in the back. Anytime they have a chance to. I know I'm not that. I know everything. But you're like, just own it. You don't like me. You don't like anything about me, and you want to see me fail. Okay, let's get on with it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, so we got that. So now, Meg, let's go back. What diploma did you just show me that I was so proud of?

[A]

What was it? Margaret Maldonado successfully completed all the academic and spiritual. Margaret Maldonado, academic and spiritual classes that were prescribed by Adult and Teen Challenge of Texas.

[B]

You finished it?

[A]

I finished.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I even got my finisher's hat.

[B]

Did you really? What is a finisher set?

[A]

It says Adult and Teen Challenge and has finisher across it. Because I finished.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Not many people do.

[B]

No. So one thing, like, I will go on record. Okay. In a nice way of all, like. So, Meg, the thing I really like, the very, very, very, very, very, very determined.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Maybe. You know, that's something you probably struggle with, too. Meg's gonna do what Meg wants to do.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. And so. And that's going to be a manifestation of it. I mean, like, she's gonna do what.

[A]

She'S going to do in a different way, though, now. Now I do what God tells me to do.

[B]

Agreed.

[A]

I just. My way didn't work.

[B]

Yep. And what I like, what was interesting for me. I don't know people. And you can't bet on certainty the minute you win. Okay. If I. If I could. I knew if I could get Denny to actually get you there, then I was more worried about Denny and her driving than anything.

[A]

Scary.

[B]

Yeah. Scary. Okay. That's a whole other discussion. Okay. But I knew if Meg. And then Denny getting you checked in. Okay. And the steps.

[A]

I tried to leave. She didn't let me.

[B]

Okay. I knew if you made day one okay, Meg would go to the bitter end.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

She would not, not finish. I was never a doubt. Mine was if. If we just get her in there and get her started one day Meg will take over and she'll run that thing and she'll finish it and finish it well.

[A]

And I did. With no time added.

[B]

Did you know? And so I was so proud to hear that. And then, you know, part of me is like, for us, there's a part of me that's like, I'm hoping to hear about Meg's life from afar a little bit.

[A]

And you will.

[B]

I know. And then what incredible things that God is going to do in your life going forward. Like, the tool chest that you have to work with is really, really big.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then this determination and heart and focus that you have. And then always for you, like always, your compassion and empathy. You hurt when other people hurt.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And that was used against you some in this world a lot. Yeah. So that was a tool that people could use against you. But now out in a different world, it will be something. You will change lives.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

You know, I really do. I mean, I believe that because like you, you understand what hurt a lady may be going through. You do. And you understand that there, you know, as long as you're still alive, there's not a choice that you have made that there is not grace and forgiveness for. There's no mistake too big that, oh, God's going to turn his back on me now no matter what somebody thinks. Okay. The world may try. Okay. But God won't, you know, your worth to him. It doesn't change on my good days, and it doesn't get less on my bad days. He created me, and his love for me was outside of my understanding before I was born, during my life, and after I'm gone. It's just that simple. Okay. So we kind of made a long journey to get here, but we weren't about to let Meg go anywhere without at least getting some words out there. So let me ask you, because there's all kind of people so ready. This is kind of crazy. And again, I use sarcasm quite a bit. There's some people that are going to be listening to this that they don't have a house tonight. Okay. They're going to be homeless. There's some people that listen to this because, Temple, how it's laid out if you're out there, there's people that live on different sides of the town, and one side of the town, they tend to have a whole lot of money. Okay. And. Oh, they. They got everything going together, you know, and so. But they're all kind of different people that are listening to this that are having some of the same struggles that you had addiction has got a hold of them. Their. Their definition of their self worth is way skewed, you know, and they believe. You know, maybe they're in a. Maybe they got a lot of money and they're in West Temple, but their husband or their. This has got them convinced that they ain't worth crap and they deserve whatever they're putting their way. Well, you deserve this, and you're not worth anything. Okay. And maybe they are suffering from addiction. And then there's people here in our world, it's just a little bit easier to see that are trying to make it day to day unsurviving. And that suffer from addiction as well. Okay. From this side of it, you're not the expert on every person in the world. What would you tell them of why they should even think about taking a chance to make their life better?

[A]

Because they are worth it. And we have a strong, mighty God who is waiting for them with his arms open to show them all the blessings he has for them. Just. I mean, I didn't think I was worth it, but I know better now. Like, he's opened so many doors and blessed me with so much right now that, I mean, it's just I'm out there telling everybody about what God's done for me, no matter where I'm at, whether it's at work, whether it's here, whether I'm just at home. It's. I mean, he's just. They're worthy of it, and he's waiting for them.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

He sees everybody.

[B]

Yeah. And our worth, like just the base. Our worth is not defined whether you got a whole lot of money in your bank account or you got none. Okay. Both of those people are of equal worth to God, and they are both beautiful to God. So it's not, you know, you may be out there with a lot of money going, who. I got it dialed in. You can still be having some of the same lies that you're believing. Okay. And so out of that, and then for it.