Homeless Women and Their Challenges: Part 2

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Collage Podcast

Episode: Homeless Women and Their Challenges: Part 2
Host: Feed My Sheep (Jeff – A)
Guest: Nancy Glover (B)
Date: December 3, 2025

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Overview

This episode continues a deeply personal and honest exploration of the barriers faced by homeless women, focusing on the real-life case of a woman in crisis aided by Feed My Sheep in Temple, TX. The conversation delves into the complexities, unexpected turns, and emotional challenges encountered when offering support, highlighting both systemic gaps and deeply human needs. Rather than providing tidy resolutions, the discussion centers on persistence, compassion, and the ongoing hope that underpins efforts to help those in crisis.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap of the Ongoing Scenario

(00:55 – 04:48)

• Situation: Nancy recounts meeting a woman who was assaulted, traumatized, and abandoned near Feed My Sheep.
• Immediate Response: Team stabilized her, but due to shelter rules (Salvation Army full, Families in Crisis shelter inapplicable due to assault type), the only option became funding a weeklong hotel stay while seeking further solutions.
• Challenge: Scarcity of resources and support for homeless single women in Temple, with many eligibility loopholes.

2. Developing and Attempting a Plan

(04:48 – 10:53)

• Initial Plan: Gradually orient the woman to a potentially safer and stable environment—the farm operated by Feed My Sheep.
• Obstacle: Addiction struggles surfaced; the woman missed key appointments after a promising pre-weekend conversation about visiting the farm and attending a recovery meeting.
• Insight: Addiction and probation obligations created deep fear and anxiety, further complicating recovery.

"This is the thing that's pulled me through so many bad spots. This is the thing that comforts me when nobody else is there. This is the thing that stops hurting. And all I really want to do is stop hurting." — Nancy (18:29)

3. The Weekend: Missed Meetings & Disappearance

(10:53 – 17:54)

• Saturday: No response at her hotel, raising worries of overdose or harm.
• Wellness Check: Room found empty but all possessions left; strong mix of relief, worry, and sadness for Nancy.

"There was part of my brain that is already cognizant of the fact that as soon as you can see in this room, you may see a person who is no longer living, that you cared about." — Jeff (15:54)

4. Complications of Trauma & Addiction

(16:46 – 21:58)

• Deep Trauma: Discussion explores how layers of trauma, abandonment, and self-loathing can make the prospect of giving up an addiction overwhelmingly frightening—even when it’s destructive.
• Self-Sabotage: The team recognizes how receiving care can itself be destabilizing if someone is more accustomed to being let down or left alone.

"Might as well get it over with now. I'm going to let them down. It’s just a matter of time." — Jeff (20:08)

5. Why Persistence Matters

(21:56 – 26:12)

• Continuing the Search: Nancy’s concern for the woman carries her back to the hotel Sunday, even after repeated letdowns.
• Updates: The woman eventually returns, retrieves her belongings, and texts Nancy to clarify she’d been hospitalized for a medical issue.

6. Navigating Uncertainty: Balancing Trust and Safety

(24:56 – 26:12)

• Trust Issues: Even if the woman’s medical claims are true, rural isolation at the farm may pose new dangers without adequate medical access.
• Safety Concerns: If false, it indicates patterns that could bring harm to the community at the farm.

7. Finding a Temporary Solution

(26:12 – 29:39)

• Shelter Placement: Against the odds, a Salvation Army bed opens. While not Nancy’s ideal, it's a safe compromise close to resources and further support.

"We can continue to be here. We're going to continue to show her grace and mercy and invite her to take those next steps when she's ready." — Nancy (35:22)

8. Reflections on the Realities and Limits of Helping

(29:39 – 40:22)

• The Limits of Quick Solutions: Both hosts emphasize that “fixes”—whether housing or treatment alone—cannot resolve trauma so deep and longstanding.
• Treatment Realities: The discussed 25% success rate in substance use treatment reflects underlying issues (trauma, shame, lack of community) often unaddressed.
• Metaphor: The person “lost in a fog” is a potent analogy for the confusion and circuitous progress of those struggling with trauma and addiction.

"It's easy to be the person that's looking at this app going, why didn't you just go straight? It was so easy. But the person who's in the fog, you think they wanted to stay in that? Absolutely not." — Jeff (28:55)

9. Why Not Give Up?

(35:08 – 37:41)

• Hope & Faith: Despite exhaustion, disappointment, and setbacks, Nancy affirms her commitment to keep showing up as an anchor in the woman’s life—breaking cycles of abandonment.

"If we stop, it would be proof that she really is all alone...and there's no God because no God would let her suffer in that alone." — Nancy (36:37)

10. A Profound Encounter on Community

(40:22 – 43:36)

• Another Client’s Story: Nancy visits a mentally ill young woman (YR) after a concerning text. YR, in a state of deep confusion, hugs Nancy and says:

"I know you. You're Nancy. I know you. I don't know who I am." — (42:31)

• This moment underscores the vital importance of connection and being known, even amidst self-lostness.

11. Love as the Core Response

(43:37 – End)

• Both hosts advocate for a persistent, compassionate presence as the most reliable form of help:

"When they open the door, we need to be standing there ready...to just love them." — Nancy (43:31)

• They close with reflections on faith, the difficulty of not being “the answer,” and the resolve to give people hope, reminding listeners that every person matters, regardless of choices or setbacks.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I can't possibly fathom everything that she went through...But what I can understand is how she looks at this addiction as her best friend, as the only thing in the world that she can count on." — Nancy (16:46)

• "People are going to leave me alone. They facilitate decisions...Well then they do things that will make sure that that occurs." — Jeff (47:44)

• "Hope is a good thing. Maybe it's the bestest of things." — Jeff, referencing Shawshank Redemption (48:38)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:55 – Episode background & recap of last week's story
• 04:48 – Plan for the farm, emergence of addiction concerns
• 10:53 – Missed meetings and start of disappearance
• 13:29 – Room found empty; Nancy’s emotional reaction
• 16:46 – Trauma, coping, and addiction
• 21:58 – Why keep looking? On not giving up
• 24:56 – Assessing her reasons for leaving (health/addiction)
• 26:28 – Secure Salvation Army shelter spot
• 36:37 – Why persistence matters for those in crisis
• 42:31 – YR’s embrace: “I know you. I don’t know who I am.”
• 43:31 – “When they open the door, we need to be there…to just love them.”

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Tone

Empathetic, honest, sometimes raw, grounded in both hard truth and persistent hope. There’s a strong sense of faith-informed perspective, but the conversation avoids clichés, instead offering nuanced, first-person insights into the realities of outreach and support.

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Conclusion

This episode offers a textured, real-world perspective on the obstacles faced when supporting homeless women—where trauma, addiction, and systemic limits intersect. The message is clear: solutions are rarely simple, disappointment inevitable, but the ongoing presence of compassionate community is both remedy and hope. The closing call is for listeners to open themselves to persistent kindness in their own communities: “Be there when they open the door.”

Transcript

[A]

Foreign. Hey, we want to welcome everybody to another edition of the Collage podcast. We are happy to be here today. We're glad you're joining us. As we are recording this doesn't matter, but it is nearing the Thanksgiving time of year, so we're in all of that, I don't know what the word would be, chaos of that sort. But so we're, we're navigating all of that here and the busyness and all that comes with everybody to try to get their benevolence out of the way in one holiday.

[B]

Joyful preparation.

[A]

Joyful preparation, says Nancy. So we have Nancy joining us again today. And if you happen to be here at the last episode, we were talking about a scenario. We were looking at person in here, kind of to give you a glimpse of what our daily life kind of looks like here. And we promised you that we would take up the story again today. And look at, we had referenced last week that she had one week to figure out a solution in this story. And the discussion point was, let's see what happens on day eight. So a week and a day later, where are we at in this story? What is going on? How does this work in this world? If you did not hear the story last week, Nancy will give us a quick overview. So it's not like a deal breaker, but kind of give you an idea of where we're at. Nancy, tell us about this.

[B]

Okay, so a week ago Friday, we met this lady. She showed up on the grounds across the street from Feed My Sheep and had been assaulted over the night. She was disoriented. She didn't know where she was, how she got there. She didn't have any clothes on, any possessions, nothing like that. She was completely vulnerable and had obviously been through a lot of trauma. We were able to get some clarity about her identity and get her stabilized a little bit with the help of a couple of volunteers here at Feed My Sheep. And the Temple Police Department also participated in that. She did not remember anything that happened to her, including the assault that had happened. And so as the world works, no victim, no crime, without remembering what had happened or any of the details, there was nothing really that the police could do to punish the people that were responsible for everything that happened with her. So our first response to it was to get her into some sort of stable. The Salvation army shelter was full at the time. She didn't qualify for the Families in Crisis shelter. That is a domestic violence shelter. And it. And an assault on the street isn't considered domestic violence. It's just considered assault. So she did not qualify for that shelter. So our only hope was to find a donor, an organization that would help us pay for hotel rooms for her. And we were able to do that. We successfully were able to place her in a hotel for seven days. It was a seven day stay. And that stay ended on Monday of this week. We're here now on a Tuesday. And over the course of that week, we were looking at a lot of different options for her as far as the next step goes. There aren't many in Temple, which was what we talked about in the last podcast. And that, that's really the thing that I think we're trying to address moving forward, is just trying to expand some of those options because right now there's just not, there's not a lot of options for her. We talked about in the last podcast the potential of her going to the farm, to Elizabeth's farm, which is a facility that is owned and operated by Feed My Sheep, currently in its infancy, but it's grown up enough that we could put someone out there if we, if we needed to. And I think that was where we ended with last week's podcast.

[A]

Yeah, going to be an interesting discussion because then that, that catches us up. Okay, so we're going to A, again look at how we're trying to move forward and then B, we're going to talk with Nancy as the person who's got a heart invested in this story. Like she's trying to interject and help and to look and see in this world, the discussion is going to maybe go a little bit left when we thought it was going to go right. Okay, so in it, how it feel in these stories, how complicated it is to get to a what seems to be a plenty doable solution. So we're going to kind of look at that. Nothing bad, it's just to kind of look. Because Nancy and I, we've navigated over this past weekend some of the difficulties that come in this world and some of the hurts that can be felt when the simple task at hand is just trying to help. So there shouldn't. Like in logical sense, you would like to believe if you're just trying to help and trying to do good, that there couldn't possibly be any hurt that comes your way because you're doing good. It should be pretty simple. The solutions are pretty simple. Okay. So they ask you kind of give us a brief, brief overview of what the plan that we had put together that we thought was a good plan. And it is A good plan. It was a good plan. Okay, so tell me about Saturday. We were supposed to do this, and Saturday evening was supposed to be this, and then Sunday and then Monday. So to give everybody out there, we didn't just sit back and go, okay, trying to proactively be part of the solution to tell me about what we had come up with. The conversation you even had with their Friday.

[B]

So we started off the week a little rocky, but I think that it was to be expected, considering everything that she had gone through. She had been feeling ill and was very weak and wasn't able to eat over the weekend before last. And so the first couple of days of the week, we really spent time just letting her rest and kind of getting her feet under her. Then the plan was for Thursday to go to the farm and just check it out, Just kind of take a look around, see if that was something that she would be interested in, and also whether or not she felt comfortable in the tiny home or in the main house at the farm. Just kind of get a feel from. For her from her about that. The night before we were supposed to go to the farm, she had some issues, and not really sure what all occurred, but when one of our team members here at Feed My Sheep went to go pick her up, she didn't answer the door. And then she didn't. She didn't show up for the appointment. And that sort of led to a longer conversation on Friday about really where she was at with her addiction that she's. That she's struggling with. And because I really don't have a lot of prior knowledge of her, I needed to know really, the depth of the addiction, how long that she's been struggling with it, and really what the ramifications were around that, because it was obvious that she was still struggling with it. Come to find out she has a probation that she's on. She's on probation, and there are some stipulations around the probation that require her to blow into a breathalyzer four times a day. If that comes back neg, I guess that is automatically reported to her probation officer. If that comes back negative, then she would have to go back to jail. And the reason why we kind of got to that point in the conversation was that realizing throughout the week that she was still struggling with that, we recommended going to rehab instead of going to the farm at this time. Like, maybe that would be the best next step for her is just to go to rehab and see if maybe we could find some different ways of coping with her. Addiction before we take the step of going to the farm. That scared her a lot. She apparently if she, if her probation officer knows that she's struggling still with the addiction, that would mean that she would have to go back to jail, to prison.

[A]

In her mind.

[B]

In her mind.

[A]

In her mind, yes.

[B]

This is her reality.

[A]

Yes. Agreed.

[B]

And so she did not want to do that. I asked in the conversation with her if she, because she has been through treatment before, if she had a sponsor and she said that she's never had a sponsor and I recommended that she find one and that that be a good like short term goal for her. And I asked when the last time was that she went to a meeting. And she said it had been a couple of years since she had been to a meeting. And I said that's another thing we, we need to try to do. So I asked her what her plans were for the weekend if she, you know, had had any kind of plans made. And she didn't. So I invited her to come to the farm. We had some volunteers coming out Saturday to do some work and she seemed excited about it and I said that I would go to a meeting with her as well on Saturday at 11 o'.

[A]

Clock.

[B]

At 11. And she seemed to be very receptive at that point. So I felt pretty good about it going into Friday night and was very hopeful. And then Saturday morning, went to her hotel room, knocked on the door and there was no answer.

[A]

So like we're gonna, we're gonna pick up there, but we're gonna go. But I'm with you on Friday, man. Lack of a better. We're rocking and rolling. I mean like she was positive. We have this plan. We've acknowledged what's going on. She's gonna come see the farm. That was in the realm of possibility that she has a decent experience. She's at the farm Saturday night, Sunday night at the worst and trying to figure out this recovery deal. Okay. Navigating this deal. So we're going, ah, she's going to help and be with groups and then this and that. Good. So we're like man, okay, 8:30 I think is when you were supposed to go see her. So 8:30 we're going to go pick her up and she's going to come out to the farm and we're going to help. It's a beautiful place too. So you're like man, for recovering. Just a peaceful spot to be safe. Nobody, ah, look at this. Yeah, look at this. Day eight is going to be magnificent. Good. Okay. And still we Got options of, you know, this, and we got this. We know some of the depth of what's going on. Okay. 8:30, we knock on the door. You knock on the door and she ain't there.

[B]

Well, she didn't answer the door. Thought maybe she was just sleeping really deeply. I knocked again. Still no answer. I shot her a text message. No response. And we had volunteers coming to the farm, so I. I just sort of left it at that. Went out to the farm, hoped that I would hear back from her. Was ready to run back to town to pick her up if she called or texted. And I got no word from her that afternoon after we finished our projects, I went back to the hotel and knocked again. Still no answer. And then asked the manager if he could come and help do a wellness check on her. You know, just concerned that maybe there was something 100%.

[A]

We talked about it. If she doesn't answer again, we must make sure she is still. What's this word? Alive.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

It's that simple.

[B]

So he did. He came and opened the door, and there was nobody there. She was not there.

[A]

She's gone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, let me ask you. Okay, so we're just asking you because we're not speaking to her. Initial feeling. You walk in the room, it's empty. What'd you feel?

[B]

Initial feeling was sadness, but also just worry. You know, I know this particular hotel is right on i35. There's a lot of traffic. The hotel manager had said that she was in the lobby until 1am the previous morning and that she seemed really disoriented, very confused. And so, you know, my initial thought was something has. Something has happened to her. Someone has picked her up, taken her places. I know what is possible for someone that's in that sort of vulnerable state. So it was. It was sadness and worry.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. And legitimate. Yes, legitimate. So this is Saturday. Okay. We don't know. We know she's gone. We know she didn't show up to. In our mind, pretty solid solution. Obviously was not a solid solution because it didn't work out. So that Saturday. Okay, let's go to Sunday. Okay. So we don't find her on Saturday. She ain't there.

[B]

Right. And I was also a little relieved as well that we didn't find her in her room.

[A]

Okay. Can't understate that. So there's part of it there. Make no doubt. If in the world. So we're saying the phrase wellness check that is either like, this happens to be at a hotel, the manager can open the Door in our other world, like in a house, we can't. There's nobody can get in there. That's what you call the police and you go, I think something has happened to this person. We need to get in this door. Because I'm worried that something has occurred. Okay, you don't do that. Because I hadn't heard you do that. Because I think there is a probability to certain level that they may not be alive inside that place.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So you walk in there, and when you open the door with the man, there is a part of you cannot deny the fact when that door opens, there is a part of your brain that is already cognizant of the fact that as soon as you can see in this room, you may see a person who is no longer living, that you cared about did not occur, but that is a reality. So then there's a part of you that goes, okay, she's not dead here. So then the unknown starts trickling into this deal, going, oh, and all her stuff was still there, correct?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, so all her bags and all that stuff was still in the room. So then we're on that Saturday. Got to be also a place inside of you as well that's going disappointed for her and disappointed in your heart because you're trying to help. You're just trying to help this person.

[B]

I mean, and I think it even sort of goes deeper than that, because I. While I can't possibly fathom everything that she went through, the trauma of the assault, the trauma of finding her mother dead, the trauma of being put out by her husband and everyone in her life turning their back on her being completely and utterly alone in this world. I cannot. I can't fathom that. But what I can understand is how she looks at this addiction as her best friend, as the only thing in the world that she can count on, the only thing in the world that's not gonna leave her, the only thing in the world that's gonna get her through the day. I can relate to that. I can also relate to how scary it is to think that that thing would have to be gone. That someone's asking you to give up your best friend, the thing that you've got, the only thing you've got left in this world and a stranger to you put it down.

[A]

You. Yeah, I mean, we got to come back a stranger. No doubt. And, like, interesting on this. So, like, so you would say, like. And we're not. We're not medical experts, so we're not out there saying, we are the experts on addiction. So if you're out there wanting to critique whatever, this is Nancy giving her opinion, okay? And so her opinion is valid, okay. And saying this is what I could just sense out of that. And you would say, this is. This is at least something, a coping mechanism that she's had. And it has been a consistent, consistent negative. From the outside looking in. Look at all this has brought to your life. I mean, you got this number of DUIs, you've got this relationship ruined. You got this relationship ruined. You got this, okay? From the outside looking in, you're like, that's ridiculous that you stay in that. But inside of it, you could go, she could feel. This is the thing that's pulled me through so many bad spots. This is the thing that comforts me when nobody else is there. This is the thing that stops hurting. And all I really want to do is stop hurting.

[B]

That's right. And in her mind, and I think I told you on Friday, when I was talking to her, I could hear the voices in her head and what were they saying? I'm a failure. I'm ashamed. I'm disappointing another person. I'm letting someone else down. I'm the problem.

[A]

Okay? So we're gonna stop at that little corner for a second. Okay? So here and so in it. So Nancy for you are. Because we're gonna pick on you a little bit, but we're not picking on you because you're sitting here, okay? Stranger who's just trying to interject in this story. And we didn't cause anything. Grown adults make grown adult decisions. Okay? So I am not sitting here saying by Nancy doing this, it caused this. That justifies this action. Not at all. Okay. But we can't escape the fact that, well, intending the weight of the expectations, even the fact that somebody may be caring about her, that would be an unfamiliar feeling to her, may cause this response that wasn't positive. Oh, might as well get it over with now. I'm going to let them down. It's just a matter of time. So let's just do it on day one. Okay? So then out of that, I'm going to screw up. I've always done it. Or I'm really worried about all this means I might go to jail. I don't know, huh. I'm all alone in a hotel room. What's it gonna hurt? Okay. So out of that, so we come to Saturn. She's not there. All these different things. Okay? So all these different feelings that are going on and mind you, okay, again, Nancy doesn't really know this person, okay? This is time out of her life. She's trying to interject in the story, okay? She's not there and she's not doing the one thing you ask her to do. Open the door at 8:30 in the morning. I am going to take you, we're going to get breakfast, we're going to go to the farm. It's nice. You're just going to hang out. I'll bring you back here in the room we're paying for. Open the door at 8:30, be sober. That's all we're asking. She did none of those. Okay, Why'd you go back on Sunday? Why is the story not over? And why didn't you use the sentence that most people in the world would use, which is forget that she didn't do the one thing I asked of her. Why am I doing any more for her? Why do you look for her son? Or did you. Is Saturday, Is the story over?

[B]

No.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

I was worried about her.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't think I slept maybe four hours on Saturday night.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I know what can happen. I mean, I know what happened with her. I know the risks that are out there and I know how quickly things can go off the rails. I was just. I was worried about her. So, yes, it did not end on Saturday. I went back on Sunday after church and knocked again. There was still no answer. The hotel manager had changed the locks though, so that she would be forced to go to the lobby and get a new key. So went back to the lobby and asked, and she had not been there to get a new key at that point. Later that day, I got a text message from a teammate here at Feed My Sheep who the hotel manager had called and said she came back, she got a key. She was in a black truck. She picked up all of her stuff and left again.

[A]

Yeah. And she doesn't own a vehicle.

[B]

No, she does not.

[A]

Okay. Okay. So that was Sunday. Again, she did not make good choices. We can't deny that fact that Sunday. So she comes back to the room, gets her stuff, gets in the truck and she gone again. Yeah. Okay, so then yesterday, what happened?

[B]

So then on Monday, she called or she texted and said that she had just gotten her phone and that she was at Scott and White at the hospital, locally here in Temple. And we texted back and forth, but the, the gist of it was that she had some problems with her digestive system that were causing her to be dehydrated and that she had been disoriented. Because of that. That was where all the confusion came from. The person in the black truck was transporting her to the emergency room and that she had been in the emergency room from early in the morning on Saturday until early in the morning on Monday.

[A]

And that happens often in the emergency rooms as you are there from Saturday morning early to Monday morning early. Yeah. And then out of the kindness of somebody's heart at the Travel Lodge on I35. Yep. Nice guy. That nice gentleman that just happens to have room in his truck to take her to the hospital. Sarcasm intended. Okay. Because we know the people that go around there. So here she is. Hey. Oh, by the way, I'm this. Okay. Which maybe it's true, maybe it's not. Did it matter? No.

[B]

I think looking at it from both sides of the spectrum, like, let's assume that it is true that she was at the emergency room. She is having all of these problems with her digestive system. She is a cancer survivor. She is on medication for that. So it is within the realm of possibility that that's what had happened. So let's assume that that's what it was. She would be too far away from medical services at the farm for me to be comfortable with her being there. And there's not ready transportation that could be relied upon at the farm to get her to town if she needed medical attention. So that to me is on that end of the spectrum. On the other end of the spectrum, if it is her addiction and her making bad choices, that isn't an element that we want brought to the farm. Whoever was in the black truck needs to not know where the farm is. And we have a responsibility for the other people that live there to make sure that those elements are not invited to the facility. So either way, the farm was off the table at that point.

[A]

Fair.

[B]

Fortunately, my teammate here at Feed My Sheep was able to secure a shelter bed for her at the Salvation Army. They had an opening.

[A]

Which is rare.

[B]

Which is rare.

[A]

Very good. I mean, I'm glad about that.

[B]

She's very close to medical facilities. She's real close to feed my sheep. We can continue to provide her with case management and hopefully help her find her way. Best scenario possible in light of everything that happened. Not what I had hoped in my heart for her. Because I do think you're right. I think she self sabotaged out of fear.

[A]

I mean, like all of us. I don't. Well, okay. It is a place inside of us that when we're kind of scared or unsure or we believe that we may not succeed. We're in a. Let's. We're in a relationship. And I'm sure this guy, girl, whatever, is going to leave me at some point because I deserve this. You know what you do? You sabotage it yourself. So at least you're in control of it. Well, now I'm going to get them first. I'm going to go ahead and ruin this thing on my own because it's coming. Why delay the inevitable? And so we do that, and you go, well, at least I was in control of that, you know, and so out of that, it's terribly sad about. The best way I could say in that one is like in camping or fishing or any of these stuff. When you get in a terrible, terrible fog storm outside and you can't see anything, somebody's watching that on. Let's say you had your iPhone find your phone app, and somebody's watching your path as you're trying to get out of this fog in a place that you know, and you're watching this path of this person that's just wandering around in circles, and you're going, look at this idiot. Okay. But yet they are just making the decisions based on what they can see. Okay. And it's easy to be the person that's looking at this app going, why didn't you just go straight? It was so easy. The obvious path was right there. You were within 100 yards of getting out of this deal, but yet you went right back into it. Who would do that? And then the person who's in the fog, you know, you think they wanted to stay in that? Absolutely not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and so. And to hear you were so close, but you screwed it up again. Look at that. You were right there. Okay. And then out of this. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I don't see how we go see her today and beat her up about, hey, congratulations, we caught you in a lie. Yep. You weren't really in the room. You weren't really sick. I checked the ER record and you're not there. What have we done?

[B]

Made it worse.

[A]

Made it worse. Okay. Made it worse. Okay. So the question I have for Nancy Glover for this is for this people to see. I wish. I really do. I wish. Okay. Every scenario was simply find a person to care about another person and problem solve. Problem solve. Hey, you know what? I drove by and saw you on the corner over here by the interstate. Saw your sign, and I was able to recognize your loss of weight, how your jaw is always kind of rotating around and, and you don't ever sleep much. So I have discerned you have a meth problem. So I've got the answer for you. And come on. Because I'm going to care about you and I'm going to get you the treatment you need and I've got your problem solved. Done. Done, ain't done. It doesn't work that way because we're dealing with people now with it. I would love for people to care. That's, that's the key. But out of this would be hopefully for people to see you. It's not just that simple. Putting her in a hotel room for seven days, it's good. It was mandatory. It was a must. You had to have a place for her to go. That wasn't the solution in of itself. Substance use treatment is an answer. It is going to be the long term answer at some point. Not right now.

[B]

She's been through it four times.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

I would say right now. And I'm not talking bad about substance use disorder treatment, so don't get me wrong, but we've got about a 25% success rate right now is what we're running on. And there's a, there's a. I think there's a reason for that. I think it's the same as a housing first model. We can't just put them into housing and then think that everything is going to be okay. We can't just run them through substance use disorder treatment and then think everything is going to be okay. There are underlying factors that we have to address as well. Community being a big part of that for sure. Childhood trauma. What are the underlying issues that are impacting each one of these people and how can we help them? Pull them all out and deal with them appropriately before we move forward. Otherwise we're going to be right back in the same spot that we're in. Someone like her, she is dealing with trauma that we can't even imagine. Like I said, we can't even fathom it. She's dealing with shame on a level that we can't imagine. Self loathing and self hatred and all of these things that, that are aside from substance use, like the substances are there to help her cope with those things. It's not the substance use isn't the problem. It's a symptom.

[A]

Okay, interesting. I would not disagree. Like today my nose is running, my chest is congested. That is a symptom of that. I am having difficulties with allergies. I can wipe my nose all I want today, unless I address the allergens that are affecting my body. There ain't enough Kleenex. So in this for people out there, okay? To make sure we're all on the same page. Am so Nancy Glover. This we can't not acknowledge. There was moments of disappointment that you brought upon yourself going good. Now that you met this person Saturday, you didn't sleep, you're worried, still are worried. The scenario is not over. This is still now something that is going on. The person didn't do what from the outside would be minimal at best. Expectations from the outside. Okay, looking at that did a whole lot of stuff that could justify Nancy the benevolent care person to say why do I ever want to help anybody again? I spent this amount of money, which you didn't do it for money, but I did this, came up with answers, spent a whole lot of time on this, did this. Lost sleep, worrying if this person is alive. Countless hours in prayer for this person. Fact, hurting, sadness and any of these, when you truly get close to somebody, then it's also self reflection and you can't help but not go to places inside of yourself that these people remind you of. Kate. All of that occurs. Why does Nancy Glover not have a justifiable reason to say done with the helping business? I just don't have it in me. I can't do this. I've got plenty of other stuff to worry about. I got a lot on my plate, can't do it. And look, it's pointless because this particular one not even going to help themselves. And I'm sure all the rest of them are just like her. Why do we not just stop?

[B]

Because there's hope there. There's hope for me that she will one day be ready with persistence with us continuing to show up for her and showing her that we're not going to be like everybody else, that we will abandon her no matter what she does. We're never going to stop. We're going to continue to be here. We're going to continue to show her grace and mercy and invite her to take those next steps when she's ready. I think if we were to stop, if we were to just throw up our hands and just say, well, you know, done with that it would be proof that she really is all alone and there really is nothing left than her addiction, that that is all she has and there's no God because no God would let her suffer in that alone. It would be proof that all of those things that are running through her head that she is, she is not worthy she is a terrible person. She just needs to be left alone with her demons to just die. All of that would be proven if we stop. We can't. We can't stop. We can't just let her be all alone.

[A]

I would not disagree at all like in that, because I would think every male, female, young, old, it doesn't matter. Some of the scariest moments, if we really look, maybe from your childhood, maybe as an adult, is those moments that you are completely alone. Maybe you're in the dark all alone. Maybe you're in the woods all alone. You're all alone. Maybe you got yourself there. Nobody's arguing that. You know, some of the scare I got myself lost as on me still doesn't take away the fact that I was really scared to death and alone. So out of that, we see it time and time again here with the people that we. So let me ask you this. We kind of learned here a little bit. Whether we like it or not, we just got to accept the fact that we are not the easy answer to everybody's problems.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't just walk into somebody, hey, here's what you need to do. Here's how we're gonna do it. And here. Done. Thank you. Seven days solved. I bet I can get down to three days. No. Okay, you go. It's not that simple. And to realize we are not the answer. We can be part of the solution. We can be in the equation together. But at the end of the day, we are not the answer. Unfortunately, this world would be so easy if we could just get people to understand that we know all the best answers for them. But that's not okay in it. What we can do, what Nancy just said is if we truly believe the illness is lack of community, feeling isolated and alone, to feel that I am deserving of the sentence that has been put upon me, that I am bad, that I am not good. If that is really the issue we are addressing. Is that something we can address? You just mentioned that. Yes. You know what? We can let her know that she's not alone, that she is cared for. As absurd as it is, we're strangers, but we can care about her. We can do the little we say we're going to do. We don't have to abandon her on our side. Is there a chance, like, we don't know for sure? Is there a chance that she left the shelter today because she's like, I don't want no part of this, and she's gone from our lives forever? Possibly. Okay. But we can control the scenario of are we going to pull the plug and be out of her life by our choice? Well, no. No. Okay. And so in it I thought it would be an. It's an interesting discussion. And in that to look and see a these stories and we haven't even touched into it these stories that we come in contact with. As soon as we're done with this, we can walk right outside the door and there's going to be 10 other stories within 20ft of the door that we're going to walk out of that are just as deep, just as complicated, just as sad. And I got plenty of answers for all of them, but I do not have the solution.

[B]

I do want to just say really quickly on Sunday as well. So after, after the hotel, I got a text message from one of our client's mom. Yr we'll call her that she had gotten hit by a car, she thought and there was this crazy text message from her. Can I go check on her?

[A]

So I did.

[B]

Went to her hotel room and opened the door and she gave me the longest, deepest, sweetest hug and said, I know you. You're Nancy. I know you. I don't know who I am.

[A]

Yeah. Say that again. That is one of the craziest, deepest. You open the door for this young girl and for everybody out there to get. We're not going to go into this story. Okay, but the mom, the mom of this daughter doesn't live 20 miles from here. Doesn't live 20 miles from here. Nancy is just a step above stranger to this person because they've now been in relation for months now. Yr lives on the street, happens to be in a hotel room we're paying for as well. Yes. You can see we're going broke, but whatever. But how are you gonna let a young girl be outside on the street? Okay, but. So the mom.

[B]

Severely mentally ill.

[A]

Severely. Has some. I'm not a medical. Has some difficulties with mental clarity. Much, much, much. I don't even know what happened. You go see her in the room because mom texts her who's 20 minutes away. My daughter got hit. Can you go check on her? No statement on there. I'm not gonna go talk about whatever. But you get text, go check on her and you do. Yeah. And you're already. You're working with this one over here that's not in the room yet. We don't even know where that one is. And you're getting paid bunches of money to do this, correct? Sure. Yeah, sure. None. Okay. Out of pocket Money going the wrong direction. So you go see yr opens the door. Say that sentence again because it is absolutely profound.

[B]

She gave me the deepest, sweetest longest hug and just said I know you, you're Nancy. I don't know who I am.

[A]

I don't know who I am but.

[B]

I know who you are. I know you.

[A]

Yeah. Love to tell you. We're not even gonna get into that story. Community, Community.

[B]

Connection.

[A]

Connection. I'd love to tell you. Hey, good news. We cured yr. Woohoo. Home free. We're not going to tell you that tomorrow. We're not going to tell you that the next day and we're not going to tell you that the next day. I don't think. But we can love her. Yeah, I don't know what that means.

[B]

But we're going to love the other one.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

We're going to love the next one and the next one and keep just showing up, continuing to be there when they open the door.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

When they open the door. We need to be standing there ready.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

To just love them.

[A]

That's right. So out of it for all of us out there because we are faith based on those times that we think it is difficult that we can justify giving up on somebody. Like you can look in the Bible, the book of Hosea, you know, whatever we're not going to get whether it's a metaphor or it's actual story. All of that stuff that matters a whole lot of zero to me. One of the most beautiful sentences in that it's a story about whatever it is basically sort of a metaphor of God's relation of how much he loves us and he's and love and cares about a person who's very unfaithful and unright to him and he get to the end of it and God himself is looking at this scenario and it is no good. I mean this person has betrayed him again and again and again. And he says this paraphrase. My heart rages within me. My heart rages within me. Like he was angry and he said I kind of wish, I want to destroy. And you go, because you got that emotion. I'm hurt and I'm hurt and I'm hurt. I'm sick of it. My heart rages and I would like to destroy you. And then it doesn't end there. The next sentence is but I can't because my heart overflows with compassion and love for you. We can't deny the fact that some of these Moments that anger and disappointment and frustration can enter into the equation. We would be unhuman to say on Saturday morning both of us were not terribly disappointed and sad and probably frustrated and angry and hurt. All these different emotions. Our heart may have even raged for a second but then you settle back to this place of going but I can't because my heart overflows with compassion. So all of that we would look this is simply to say to people out there it's a complicated deal. The solution is complicated. We are naive, will not say it. It is inappropriate to say we are not the solution for yr. She needs long term medical help.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No two ways about it. I'm not that. You're not that. Okay, we can't do that. We would even say the other one long term true professional help can't do that but we can love and love well we can be there. And so then out of that for hopefully people out there and we'll be done is just to get a glimpse. These scenarios are not that easy. There is reasons to want to give up. There is reason to go man done with that people. You hang around people long enough I don't care if you got this thing called a family I guarantee you in the course of a day or a week they're going to give you plenty of reasons to want to give up on a lot of people in your family. And justifiable reasons too. How relationships this that here is no different. We just have a lot of relationships that we're in and a lot of people that give us a lot reason to be done with and you could also possibly look at it as these people are sort of self fulfilling prophecies of their own. People are going to leave me alone. They facilitate decisions or they're going to abandon me. Well then they do things that will make sure that that occurs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Absurd as it is, we do so out of that it is still good news. We are still involved in this. We got a bit the people are not giving up. Okay. That's important. And then sometimes maybe the person that is involved in the scenario maybe they have every intention of giving up but there's other people that are there to make sure. No we're not. We thought we had the answer but obviously we did not. So then we do it again and we just love and then we go on with that. That's kind of there. Yeah, yeah it was good like we had a good conversation was kind of hoping that day eight we'd go man look at that. Maybe day 16, maybe day 16, maybe. Day 24, maybe. Day nine, maybe, okay, but we hope. And we won't go into the Shawshank Redemption thing of whether hope is a good thing or hope is a bad thing. Because I'm like Andy Dufresne. I can't imagine living. Red and Shawshank Redemption would say, hope, hope is a bad thing. Maybe the worst thing that a person can have. And Andy Dufresne in the theological discussion would say, no, hope is a good thing. Maybe it's the bestest of things. It's that thing inside of us that nobody can ever take away from it. And Red would say, oh, hope is what kills you. A belief that things could. So his was, you just accept the fact that I live in a prison, I'm going to die in a prison, and don't hope for anything more because you're not getting out. You can survive to the end doing that. And Andy Dufresne said, no, I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna hope there's more out there. I'm gonna hope. And he also did things to facilitate the hope occurring. He didn't let it diminish. Hope is key word. And we're going to look, and for all of you listening, that hope is a good thing. Maybe it's the bestest of things. And then he went on to say, no good thing ever dies. So all of that we would say out of this, you would hear what Nancy has showed us here is all people matter, and you are a person and you matter. We don't know who it is or what, but God puts people in our life not to necessarily be the sole solution to all that's going on in their life, but to walk with them and to let them know they are not alone. And we say it. Nancy said it there. We simply do what we do here. Not. We are not the solution makers, but we can at least give people a glimpse to let them see the truth that God created them in their mother's womb and his good and pleasing thoughts about them are innumerable. And somehow to get that truth to people is not. It doesn't say they're not a disclaimer in their asterisks or in parentheses. God's good and pleasing thoughts about me are innumerable when I am doing 100% right. Wish it was that. But it's not his good and pleasing thoughts about it. They're innumerable. And so with it. We all know this, and we won't go down that road, too. But Jeff's good and pleasing thoughts about himself. They are very numerable, very small number. We live in that reality rather than the truth, which is we are magnificently made and created by a God that loves us in a way that we don't even understand. So out of that, I hope you would see helping is a good thing. And maybe it's just walking along a side with somebody and letting them know they're not alone. So maybe day nine, maybe day 16, maybe day 24, but we're going to.

[B]

Be in the picture giving them a really long, sweet hug and saying, I know you.

[A]

I know you. Think of the weight of that sentence. And then the other one, she said, it's magnificent. If somebody just listened, it's in magnificently, devastatingly sad. I know you, but I don't know who I am. She wasn't lying. What in the world?

[B]

And so many of them feel exactly that way.

[A]

100%. 100%. So I hope you're out there having a great day. I hope I get over these allergies. We'll be done with that. So anything else? We're good, Nancy Glover?

[B]

We're good.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It was great.

[A]

It was good.

[B]

Thanks, Jeff.

[A]

Thank you very much. Y' all have a great day. And look and see out there where you can show love and compassion to others, because it does matter.