Hey friends, and welcome back to the College Essay Guy podcast. Today's episode is part two of our series called Inside the Personal Statement Process. If you're just tuning in, this series takes you behind the scenes as I work one-on-one with Alisha, a current high school senior applying for the Fall 2026 term. In the first episode, we got to know Alisha through her brainstorming and outline.

In this episode, we pick up right where we left off — Alisha's second draft. We get into:

How did the new outline work for Alisha?
How to approach trimming—not just words, but how Alisha can focus on a particular idea or value in the session to help her find her focus and what to trim
How to align the insights that you have in your paragraphs with the examples
And more

Whether you're a student working on your own essays right now, a parent supporting from the sidelines, or a counselor guiding students through this process, I hope you'll find something useful here.

Alisha is a current high school senior going through the application process who loves science, movies, and discovering new places. When she's not studying the brain, she's mentoring younger students through her program Running Start or planning her next adventure.

Hope you enjoy our session.

Play-by-Play:

1:24 – How is Alisha's writing coming along?
4:10 – Alisha shares her goals for feedback
5:50 – Alisha reads through her second draft
11:13 – Alisha shares her thoughts on the draft
15:10 – Ethan makes suggestions for trimming by focusing on values that Alisha wants to communicate to the reader
- 16:40 – Paragraph one: Curiosity
- 23:10 – Paragraph two: Empathy and nurturing
- 32:50 – Paragraph three: Creativity.
- 39:50 – Paragraph four: Pakistan.
46:40 – Ethan and Alisha map next steps for Draft 3
49:22 – Alisha shares new revision ideas and closing thoughts

Resources: