Booty Babies

Summary

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The Commercial Break – “Booty Babies”

Date: January 24, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Theme:
A hilariously chaotic deep dive into modern fad obsessions—from viral cup crazes to nostalgia collectibles—and an extended, satirical riff on a truly absurd “cryptic pregnancy” story featured on Dr. Phil.

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Episode Overview

Bryan and Krissy open with banter about viral obsessions and consumer fads (the Stanley Cup phenomenon, Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch Dolls), segue into an affectionate listener shout-out, then launch into a comedically incredulous dissection of a Dr. Phil segment about “cryptic pregnancy”—wherein a woman claims she’s been pregnant for nearly four years with six babies. The duo heap on their trademark improv, skeptical commentary, and tangents about pop culture, podcasting, and the state of media.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Viral Fads: Stanley Cups & The Cycle of Consumer Craze

Timestamps: 00:56–07:10

• Stanley Cup Mania: Bryan and Krissy riff on the recent trend of consumers fighting over limited-edition Stanley Cups at Starbucks, with massive markups on eBay. Bryan shares stats:
  “They went from like $72 million in revenue in 2019 to $750 million in revenue over... the last fiscal year, which is an insane amount of growth.” (01:16)
• Social Media’s Role: Krissy observes, “It was all based really on social media, right?” (02:01)
• Collecting for Clout: Both reflect on our collective susceptibility to following trends:
  “We are literally hoodwinked into buying anything that looks pretty, seems interesting, but more likely is that we see other people that find it interesting or cool, and then we have to get it also.” (Bryan, 04:33)
• Comparisons to Beanie Babies, NFTs: Krissy quips, “Maybe a cup is better than a Beanie Baby, though.” (03:09); Bryan calls Stanley Cups, “the new NFTs... they hold no value whatsoever, but people are going crazy over them.” (05:22)
• Health Concerns: Stanley Cups test positive for lead, but they mock online scares, agreeing lead’s everywhere and likely overstated by viral TikToks (06:01).

2. Nostalgia & the Consumer Mindset

Timestamps: 03:12–07:03

• Bryan shares a trip to the “Cabbage Patch doll place” (Babyland General), remembers the 80s craze, and how parents forced fads on their kids:
  “My mom bought us Cabbage Patch Dolls from Santa when we were like, when they first came out... I never wanted a Cabbage Patch Doll in the first place. Never asked for it. I wanted a magic set, Mom.” (03:37–04:17)

3. Listener Shout-out & the Function of TCB

Timestamps: 11:54–13:32

• Bryan gives a heartfelt shout out to Allison, a listener who keeps her factory shifts lively with TCB:
  “She found the commercial break. And now all she does is listen to the commercial break every single shift... how in the good world do you stand listening to my voice for so long every single day?” (11:54–12:15)
• Krissy and Bryan reflect on the show’s role as “background music” and stress-relief for hard-working listeners.

4. Podcast & Media References

Timestamps: 08:17–09:36, 15:32–18:32

• They riff on Dateline’s Keith Morrison's unique narration style, imagining him introducing TCB:
  Bryan: “And now the commercial break. Will they... won’t they forget to press record?” (09:21)
• Bit about Chris Hansen from “To Catch a Predator.”
• Reflections on the rise and fall of Clubhouse, live audio social networks, and the challenges of new media ventures.

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Main Feature: Dr. Phil’s “Cryptic Pregnancy” (TCB Breakdown)

Timestamps: 23:59–58:19

Introduction to the Segment

• Bryan introduces a Dr. Phil episode featuring women who insist they’re pregnant for years at a time—a perfect TCB subject:
  “One lady thinks she's having five babies. She's been pregnant for six years.” (24:24)

Absurdity and Satirical Commentary

• “Zona” claims:

  • She is “1,000% certain” she’s pregnant—with SIX babies, for over three years (25:18).
  • She has “more than one uterus,” insists multiple ultrasounds must be wrong (25:32–25:37).

• Medical Reality Check:

  • Dr. Phil and his guest OBGYN calmly and repeatedly explain the real definition of cryptic pregnancy—hidden FROM the mother, not a multi-year gestation (46:56–47:14).

• Hosts’ incredulity and roast:

  • Bryan (impersonating Doctor): “When I see an empty uterus, I don't look for babies anymore. Babies grow inside the uterus... I can see the uterus and I can see the fetus in it. ...You cannot carry a pregnancy outside of the uterus.”* (Dr. Thais, 56:08–57:12)
  • Krissy (paraphrasing Zona): “They just form hair first” (46:27)
  • Bryan: “I've got two ass babies going on. I sit on them all the time... Hemorrhoids, the whole nine yards. But this ass baby's a little bigger than that ass baby. You want to take a look?” (39:40)

• Quotable Ridiculousness from Zona:

  • “This pregnancy happens in the back. It's a retro inverted uterus.” (39:21)
  • “The ultrasound is a 15 MHz… if it’s too high of a megahertz sometimes it will not pick up.” (36:05)
  • “Your HCG levels are so low that the babies don’t even get bones. Bones. Until they're two to three years old in the womb.” (46:14)
  • “I have more than one vagina. And I probably have more than one uterus, too. I cannot prove that because I am not legal to read CAT scans.” (51:02)

• Dr. Phil’s OBGYN Guest:

  • “I might miss a lot of things in my life, but I don't miss extra vaginas.” (Dr. Thais, 54:45)

• Krissy and Bryan crack themselves up at the idea of “baby hair ultrasounds” and “back uteruses.”

Family & Social Context

• Zona’s daughter Sabrina appears, calls the situation “unreal” and admits it’s torn their family apart:
  • Sabrina: “My mother's been saying she's pregnant for almost four years. I honestly don't know what is happening with her. ...It is weird that she has a belly. She's definitely bigger than she's ever been my whole life. I do not believe that my mom is pregnant.” (51:44–51:59)

TCB’s Takeaway & Social Satire

• Bryan and Krissy cynically point out how attention-seeking or delusional beliefs become amplified—comparing Zona’s claims to other internet-enabled conspiracy and misinformation phenomena.

Bryan: “When did we stop trusting people that...went to school to learn this stuff? Honestly, it’s so dumb.” (31:54)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bryan (on fads): “Stanley Cups are the new NFTs, if I’m being honest with you. They hold no value whatsoever, but people are going crazy over them.” (05:22)
• Krissy, on the absurdity of Dr. Phil's guest: “How many cigarettes does it take to, yeah, to four of the kids?” (46:10)
• Dr. Thais, OBGYN (on anatomy): “I might miss a lot of things in my life, but I don’t miss extra vaginas.” (54:45)
• Bryan (to Krissy): “You are really the orchestra of the show. And I am like, really... what you really go for, I think if you’re going to one of those things, is... the singing. You’re really going to hear the good music, but the talking in between...I feel like you’re the singing... and I’m just the annoying talking in between.” (12:07–12:41)
• Bryan, on media saturation: “This is my main source of income. And by income, I mean bankruptcy.” (18:32)
• Zona (the Dr. Phil guest): “I have more than one vagina. And I probably have more than one uterus, too. I cannot prove that because I am not legal to read CAT scans.” (51:02)
• Bryan (mocking): “Did you check my armpit uterus? No. They won’t even do a 5 MHz catalytic converter ultra hair ultrasound on that one.” (49:26)

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Important Timestamps

• Stanley Cup Fad Begins: 00:56
• Microplastics and Lead in Cups: 01:21–06:01
• Cabbage Patch Nostalgia: 03:12–04:33
• Listener Shout-out (Allison): 11:54–13:32
• Dr. Phil Segment Starts: 23:59
• Magic Spoon Ad (skip): 19:30–21:12
• Dr. Phil’s OBGYN Fact-Checks: 54:39–57:12
• “I don’t miss extra vaginas” quote: 54:45
• Zona’s “I am 1000% sure” pregnancy persists: Multiple points, starting 25:18

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Tone and Style

• Improvised, irreverent, fast-paced: The hosts riff, layer sarcastic asides, mock internet oddities, and keep the humor unpredictable.
• Pop-culture references: Frequent callbacks to 90s shows, viral fads, past podcast moments, and the absurdities of influencer culture.
• Self-deprecation: Both Bryan and Krissy playfully diminish themselves and the show, often pausing to appreciate the loyal listenership and the weirdness of their topics.

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Final Takeaway

In typical Commercial Break style, “Booty Babies” sees Bryan and Krissy lampoon the endless parade of viral obsessions and reality TV absurdities—with special focus on the blurred line between attention-seeking, delusion, and the media platforms that perpetuate it. Their breakdown of the cryptic pregnancy Dr. Phil episode is both a comic highlight reel and an implicit commentary on contemporary gullibility—all wrapped in the hosts’ signature shambolic vibe.

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For more content, listener interactions, or to get your own “piggy fronting” sticker, visit tcbpodcast.com

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Transcript

[Brian Green]

Jamie.

Yeah.

[Zona]

How cold is it out there? I'm wearing two pairs of panties so.

[Brian Green]

My lips don't get chapped. You tell me.

On this episode of the commercial break.

I've got two ass babies going on. I sit on them all the time. You ever had an ass baby, Chrissy? Longer gestation period, hemorrhoids, A whole nine yards. But this ass baby's a little bigger than that ass baby. You want to take a look? Let me show you.

[Zona]

No.

[Brian Green]

No? Okay. You think jizzle drizz get mad at me. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the wife of the master of the jizzle drizzle, Kristen Joy Hoodley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian, and best to you out there in the podcast universe, including Jeff and hey, six times the charm for starting this episode.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

That's right. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

We literally started the episode six times. Take six. Do you know about the craziness around the Stanley cups? Yes. What in the good are we all doing with our lives?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I. I don't know. I'm sticking with.

[Brian Green]

What are we doing?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Sticking with my yeti.

[Brian Green]

I'm doing my yeti.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I don't care. I mean, I like a big cup and I also have an emotional attachment to my cup, so I'm not.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Casting stones. I'm not throwing stones in a glass house because I understand how attached we all are to our water bubbas. Now they are saying there's bad news all over the place about water containers in general. There's like microplastics all in the plastic water bottles. They've been testing them and they have 10 times more plastic than we ever imagined floating in the water because of the. Yeah, this is great. We're all full of fucking microplastics. And now these Stanley cups are causing trouble left and right. They went from like $72 million in revenue in 2019 to $750 million in revenue over. Over the last fiscal year, which is an insane amount of growth that it.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Was all based really on social media. Right.

[Brian Green]

These tiktokers go crazy and then they put out this pink cup at Starbucks of each. Starbucks gets 10 or whatever, and people are beating each other up over a fucking cup. A cup that contains water. You know, there's a lot of things that can hold water, guys and girls. I mean, we don't have to go get $50 gallon. What is it, what they call it, Gallons time day or something because it Holds almost a gallon of water.

I don'.

Why do we need these things? Pilots, people who do work in the middle of the summer where they don't have access to cold water. The roofers, you know, contractors, guys and girls who really need to be drinking water, a lot of water, and they don't have access to a tap right next to them or filtered water, whatever it is. Those are the kind of people who need Stanley Cups. Not house moms high on Vicodin, waiting in Starbucks at six in the morning for them to open for this. They get a lottery number so they get a Stanley Cup. And listen, if you're one of those people, what are you thinking? What are you doing? Stop it. Stop it. People are beating each other up, literally, for a pink Stanley Cup. It's a fucking cup.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Maybe a cup is better than a Beanie Baby, though.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but they're still doing the Beanie Baby. People are still going crazy over Beanie Babies. I just went to the Cabbage Patch doll place.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Under duress, I might add. I went to the Cabbage Patch doll place because my, you know, Susan decided she wanted to get the kids a Cabbage Patch doll. I was all excited about it to Baby Land General.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Did you assist in a birth?

[Brian Green]

I did. It was kind of cute. I have it on tape.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

It's pretty cabbage.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Well, you can. You pull them out of the cab, like you pick your one and it pulls out of the cabbage. Yeah, it's. They're no longer actual human beings who pretend to be doctors. At least I didn't see that whole thing. I went to Babyland General when we first moved here as a kid, our dad took us to Babyland General and we saw the whole show. Not doctors, nurses, the maternity ward, the whole thing. Well, as a 13 year old boy, I didn't really find it too interesting. Right. I was like, what the fuck are we doing here? Why is my mom still under the delusion that we want a Cabbage Patch Doll? My mom bought us Cabbage Patch Dolls from Santa when we were like, when they first came out and they were the craze and people were beating each other up over those things back in the, you know, late 80s or mid-80s or whatever it was. And I never wanted a Cabbage Patch Doll in the first place. Never asked for it. I wanted a magic set, Mom. A magic set. You got me a Cabbage Patch doll.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

So you toss that. But KE Tracy kept the Dick Tracy. That's right.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's different. That's. That was an investment into my future. You see how things are turning out. So we go to Babyland General and people are still going crazy over the Cabbage Patch Dolls too. We're such consumers and we. We are literally hoodwinked into buying anything that looks pretty, seems interesting, but more likely is that we see other people that find it interesting or cool, and then we have to get it. Also true. Why do you need a pink Stanley Cup? I just don't understand what's the allure of having one of those. But now I do have to say this. You buy them for like $37, right? These big Starbucks pink cup. They're selling for $300 plus on eBay and stock X and these other places. I don't. Fudgeing. No, Chrissy. I couldn't in my head, for the.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Love of me of the pink cup.

[Brian Green]

I think Stanley Cups are the new NFTs, if I'm being honest with you. They hold no value whatsoever, but people are going crazy over them. I just. I don't get it. And on top of all of that, on top of the fact that you're waiting in line, it's minus 17 degrees, you're waiting for the one of the 10 cups that each Starbucks gets or whatever it is. You're in fist fights, you're screaming and yelling. You're. People are stealing them. You know, you're, You're. It's like armed robbery for a fucking Stanley Cup. On top of that, they are finding that these things are testing positive for lead.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Well, I saw that, but there was also something that, like, everything has a.

[Brian Green]

Minute amount of lead. Yeah, there's these people that are walk like on Tick Tock. It's a trend to walk into a store with a special light and you tap the cup and the light either turns green or blue or something like that, and it tells whether it's lead. There is lead in everything. I mean, everything, Clothing, everything, everything. They're walking into these Salvation army places and they're tapping all these items and they're. They're turning blue. I think they're doing it for clicks, to be honest with you. I don't think that half that stuff is really dangerous. But I mean, you know, lead can cause some kind of issues. I ate lead paint as a kid and I find that I'm just fine.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah, you're completely fine.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm angry. That's what it does. It makes you angry. I just don't get it. I don't get why we're all obsessed with all this. I really don't. I don't get obsessed about Any of that stuff?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Look behind you. There's all those Pearl Jam posters on the wall.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Everybody's got their stuff.

[Brian Green]

Everybody's got something. I know I'm just as guilty as it is as everybody else. I really. I don't know. I watch all these tik Tok videos of these people going crazy over these cups and I'm like, it's a cup, It's a cup.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah. The social media drives all that, too.

[Brian Green]

It really does.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

You know, you see other people with it. You've got to have it. It looks cool.

[Brian Green]

You have to have it.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

That's why I don't. On social media.

[Brian Green]

Listen, there's got to be something that we do. There's like, there's f. First of all, I want to say that the piggy fronting stickers are going out the door and a lot of people are asking for them. And I think that's great. I'm. I'm hoping they're going to be pleasantly surprised and not underwhelmed when they get a one by one sticker. Piggy fronting. But, you know, people make mistakes. But there are some people who are getting a little silly. They're asking for, like, multiple amounts of stickers. They want multiple things written on them. They want. As if we have. We. We already spent money on the stickers and then we put a nice postcard in there. And then if you want it signed or something signed. We of course, take the time to do that. But then you want multiples. You want multiple. You want one to save, one to, you know, put away in your stocking stuffer. I asked her to ask. She's like, do you think people are selling these? And I'm like, no way. This can't be. Like, no one could be possibly think there's any value in a TCB sticker. So I'm gonna do a little investigation and I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna have my people call your people. We're gonna do. I'm gonna hire that Jack Smith guy and get him to.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah, call Dateline.

[Brian Green]

Dateline NBC. Is that still around? They still do the datelines. Really? I used to be fascinated by Keith Morrison's datelines. You know, Keith.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I don't remember.

[Brian Green]

Keith's got the weird voice, you know. You know, I'm talking about the guy on Dateline. He'd be like. And on the third night, something different happened.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah, that guy. The main guy.

[Brian Green]

Murder. Murder in this lovely town. Was it him? Could it be? It might be. And you're like, wow, that's a weird affectation you have. But I'm drawn in. Every time I hear Keith Morrison's voice, I'm like, wow, Keith Morrison.

I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Their podcast is the same way.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it is. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I had to finish listening to one just to hear exactly what happened. But after a while I was like, okay, like, get to it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get to it. Come on, let's do. We didn't even need a really 17 episodes.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Will they.

[Brian Green]

Did he? Will he. Are these flowers? As if. Is this rose in bloom? We shall see. This little community will now find out.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Never be the same.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's weird how he writes. I do love me some Keith Morrison. Yeah, if I. We could have Keith Morrison on the show. Or if we could have Keith Morrison do our opening like. And now the commercial break. Will they. Won't they forget to press record?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I bet he might be available.

[Brian Green]

You think he might be. The guy from Dateline is interested in being on the commercial.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

You never know.

[Brian Green]

Hold on one second. Morrison. You know that Keith Morrison got here. Let's.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

He might be on Cameo.

[Brian Green]

Let's see. He's probably on Cameo and that way.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

You could just get him to say it on Cameo.

[Brian Green]

See if I can play a little Keith Morrison here. Hello, I'm Keith Morrison. What is it they say? There's no such thing as the perfect guy in our Hiding in plain sight dateline 247 marathon. That may well turn out to be true. That may well stream for yourself all weekend long. Only on Peacock.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

That weird expectation. Did he talk like that as a kid? That's what I'm curious.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

That's a honed skill.

[Brian Green]

You think so?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Well, he stands out, that's for sure. He stands out of the crowd. And whatever happened to the guy who did the, you know, I'm sleeping with 13 year old thing? Catch a. Catch a Predator.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Whatever happened to him?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Did he end up being a predator himself or something like that? Wasn't he like. Wasn't he like sleeping with somebody get much younger than him and he was married. I think I remember something about getting caught coming out of a hotel with a much younger woman. Not like, not like 13, but, you know. Yeah, in her 20s and he was in his 40s or something like that. I want to give a special shout out to someone, one of our listeners who I understand has been very wonderful to the commercial break. She works in a factory. Let me make sure I get her. Her name correct because I'm Going to shout her out. I should probably say her name correctly. Huh? Let's see here. Allison. So Allison has been writing into the show, and I went through. Astrid has been communicating with her. And then I went through some of the messages. Astrid was reading some of the messages. This girl works in a factory. She said she used to listen to music or books on. On tape or audiobooks. And then she found the commercial break. And now all she does is listen to the commercial break every single shift that she does, and she lets her family listen to it and she has her co workers listening to it. Well, here's my question. How in the good world do you stand listening to my voice for so long every single day? I am no Keith Morrison. If I had Keith Morrison's voice, I think it would be much more pleasurable. But I'm just an idiot talking on the microphone, you know, for hours on end. I don't know how she listens to it. Here's what I've realized about our show. You are really the orchestra of the show. And I am like, really? Yeah. You know, if you go to, like one of those operas or something like that, they're opera or a musical.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

The maestro.

[Brian Green]

No, you're like the. You know, they talk and. And then they sing, Right?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

What you really go for, I think if you're going to one of those things, is you really go for the singing. You're really going to hear the good music, but the talking in between. Okay, that'. I feel like you're the singing. You're the beautiful orchestra and the singers, and I'm just the annoying talking in between. I do most of the talking, so. But I do, when I listen to the show, I do feel like you're the background music. You're what's making this show really take off and fly high.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Thank you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You're also the voice of reason. Are you blushing or is that just all the cold medicine?

[Zona]

I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I'm thinking about how my voice doesn't sound very sing song.

[Brian Green]

Like, well, okay, so it's not in top form right now, but it's understandable because you got that cold that everyone has, and it doesn't go away any reason whatsoever. So I do want to say hi to Allison because I think she's. She's been very sweet. And to the commercial support. Thank you so much.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Genuinely love it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I don't normally shout out individual listeners, but I just wanted to say thank you to Allison because I. We don't work in a factory for a living. This is what we do for a living. And working in a factory, I don't care what kind of factory it is, you may enjoy your job or like the people you work with, but that's hard work, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yes, it is.

[Brian Green]

And so I'm glad that we can beat your background music while you do your job.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Probably because you can pop in and out, you know, of you don't have to actively listen.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I feel like she might work around some big machinery. And so what she really has to do is focus on her job. And she figures if I put in something where I have to pay no attention because I know it's not true, it's stupid, or I'm not going to laugh, then as long as I'm listening to something that's not going to entertain me, I'm. I'm there, I'm good. I'm fine focusing on something else. It's all right. So she doesn't get her hand chopped off in some weird factory accident or something. And I also wanted to say, while we're on the shout out, you know, thing, I wanted to say that horror, hillbilly horror stories, who we talked about one time on the episode because someone had multiple people had left reviews and made comments and texted us that they were listening to hillbilly horror stories and they were talking about the commercial break. We did not do this. We did not ask them to talk about us. We don't even know who they are. We've never communicated with them. But then I heard that apparently this, this show has been very nice of the commercial break on a number of occasions. But then also that they like when someone's having like a mental health crisis or something. And they write into the show, the host will give his personal phone number out so that someone can call them.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

That's really nice.

[Brian Green]

So that they don't do any harm to themselves or they need someone an outlet to talk to. I thought to myself, this is what we should do when someone calls us for advice. We should give out our personal phone numbers and we should be just as nice to them. But then I was like, but I'm really a miserable sack of shit and no one wants to listen to me anyway. So I don't want to go there because I think I might do more harm than good. I don't be liable for anyone's additional misery.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

I mean, what a cool thing to do if you like giving out your personal phone number. What a cool thing to do.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

And to take the time. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And to take the Time. If only we were on Fireside and then we could communicate with.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I know. If only.

[Brian Green]

Have you been looking at that Fireside lately? You see what's up there?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I know, like we talked about earlier, I'm rooting for them. I really want them to be good, but it kind of just hasn't caught fire, if you will.

[Brian Green]

No pun intended. Yeah, I like Mark Cuban. Of course I like Mark Cuban. I've met him. I've communicated with him. He's a really nice guy. He is really down to earth. He will take the time. And Fallon was wonderful. And then everybody else that we communicated with at Fireside was really cool.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

It was a great idea.

[Brian Green]

It just went sideways. Or maybe it was just mistimed is maybe what it might have been, because it started during the pandemic, piggybacking off of the whole Clubhouse hurrah. That happened, you know, in early 2020, and Clubhouse took off like a rocket ship. I mean, there were, what, 20 million people signing up on that every three months or something. It was insane. And we were doing rooms to 7,000, 10,000 people. Comedy rooms. I mean, not because we were in it, but because Bill Burr would show up or whoever. But you go to Clubhouse now and try and find a room in Clubhouse. You can't find a room because I guess they just threw that business model out the door. Now you send little tiny voice notes that people. Then they put an addendum to that voice note. So I would send a note saying, you know, hey, I was out here driving around with my Stanley cup, and, you know, I'm just wondering if anybody else had a Stanley cup, right? And then other people would put their voice notes. Oh, yeah, I got a Stanley Cup. And mine's pink and mine's orange. And I sold one on, you know, eBay for $400. And then another person, like, would come in. It's totally obnoxious. It's absolutely obnoxious. We already have this. It's called voicemail. Just call somebody, leave them a voicemail or voice notes on your iPhone. I don't understand why they. Why they would go that direction. I always thought the cool thing about Clubhouse was the fact that you were live in a room with other people and you could interact with them. You could call people up or push them down or whatever you wanted to do. And now they've totally destroyed them.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Down.

[Brian Green]

Push them down. Remember when you get pushed down?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I think I only got on there, like, five times.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no, I was there.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yes, you were dedicated on end at some.

[Brian Green]

I Think it almost caused a divorce, if I'm being honest. I'd be in the. I'd be in bed at night because Astrid was like, you gotta get out of that studio. Can't be there till 3 o' clock in the morning every day. But then. So I'd get out at midnight and then I'd be in the corner, like, with my phone to my ear, and I'd be like, yeah, I totally agree. I'd like to speak. Astro would be like, what are you doing over there? Not that I'm good, because someone would call me into a room and I'd feel. So I'd feel a little bit of pressure to come into the room. Like I was some big deal or something. I had to go into the room and talk more podcasting to somebody. But it was the hot thing there.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

It was very hot.

[Brian Green]

I think a lot of people really enjoyed the fact that while we were all quarantined, couldn't see each other, couldn't travel, couldn't go outside, that there was some outlet with other people where we didn't put ourselves in any kind of danger, didn't have to wear a mask. We just sit at home and do our thing and talk to people. Now they've totally destroyed what was fascinating about that. I'm sure you can still create a room. I think you can. But what they're really pushing are these voice notes or the voice storytelling or whatever, and I have no interest in that. I actually don't have any time for. For Clubhouse anymore. I barely have time for this show. This is my main source of income. And by income, I mean bankruptcy.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

All right, so let's take a break and then we'll come back. I want to talk to you about cryptic Cryptid pregnancy, I think is what they call it. And we're going to get some advice. It sounds cryptic and we're going to get some more advice. Some advice from one of the more cryptic people I know, Dr. Phil. So we'll be right back with the commercial break. We'll be back. Ugh. Finally.

[Announcer]

I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk. Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok @TCB podcast. Want it to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 6:26 asktcb3 and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 8:55 tcb8383. And boy, do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show.

[Brian Green]

This episode is sponsored in part by Magic Spoon. Okay, if you've listened to any amount of the commercial break, then you know one of my disgusting food habits is to eat sugary cereals with cream late at night. Well, the earth just turned one year older and I've decided to do away with the empty calories and added sugars. The good news for my bad cereal habit, I have Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon recreates all the flavors that we loved as children without all the baggage that goes in our bellies. It has all the flavors you love, but it's high in protein and it has less sugar. Astrid and I just bought a variety pack that has four flavors. Cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter. This pack has 0 grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and 4 to 5 grams of net carbs. It's only 140 calories per serving. It's high protein, protein, has 0 grams of sugar, keto friendly, gluten free, grain free and soy free. And I get the taste of my favorite cereal without all the guilt. Magic Spoon is returning to the commercial break as a sponsor, and we're so happy that they're offering you a discount. Go to magicspoon.com tcb to grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code TCB at checkout to save $5 off your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with a 100% happiness is guaranteed. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. Absolutely. No questions asked. Remember to start the year off right with a delicious bowl of high protein [e-mail] tcb and be sure to use the promo code tcb to save $5 off. That's magicspoon.com tcb and use the code tcb to save $5 Off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for being a sponsor of the commercial break and giving me something to look forward to. Late night after I get out of the studio. Be a.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Okay, so it might be the Taquill here, but there's so many. There's so many screens of us, right?

[Dr. Thais]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Chrissy? Yes. Are you seeing trails? You want me to wave my hand?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I'm in four different places, so when I move my hand.

[Brian Green]

Yes. How are you feeling right now?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I feel it. Okay.

[Brian Green]

You're feeling okay? Yeah. Are you sure?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

We need to take a break.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Well, did we just take a break?

[Brian Green]

I know. What I'm saying is, you want me to get you, like, a soft pillow and you can lay on the ground? What do you think?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

No, I'm good.

[Brian Green]

You're okay?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Are you sure?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Let's do it.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Because I don't want you tripping out here. I really don't. And if you'd like me to. You know what I can do if you want me to, just while we're here.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

How you feeling?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Nice.

[Brian Green]

Yeah? Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Feeling good.

[Brian Green]

I'll put on the wall for you. Put it back on the screen. You can turn that way and watch. And I'll do the show that day quilt, man, that. Will you.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I know that.

[Brian Green]

Will you. Up the other night. Why? We've all had the junk, right? And so while we had the junk, I am not a. Believe it or not, despite how many narcotics I've done in my life, I am highly sensitive to medications and caffeine. And maybe that's because I've done so many drugs in my life. My body is like, put up a barrier. It's like, no more Brian. And so I get affected so greatly by any kind of narcotic medication, any kind of day Quill, Nyquil, whatever it is. So when I'm sick, if I have to take one of those, if I'm at that point, I have to really be sick to take 1. 1. If I take one, I only take half the dosage because I get nervous about how it actually affects me. So a couple of weeks ago, when I was sick, I started taking this. Mucinex.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And then during the night time, and then during the daytime, I would take whatever it was. Dayquil or amphetamines. I'm not even sure what it was. And after a couple days, that's what it is. It's amphetamines, right?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Something like that.

[Brian Green]

So after a couple days of up, down, up, down, my heart's racing, I'm seeing trails. I'm having a hard time putting thoughts together. I don't think I should be driving. Like, I am really fucked up. I woke up one morning and I was in a cold sweat, like having a panic attack.

[Zona]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I was also tripping my balls off. I was. Couldn't focus on anything. It was really a weird feeling. I think they put some really strong stuff in there.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

They're doing something.

[Brian Green]

I guess that's why the kids like to drink the night quilt, huh?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Or make it into meth.

[Brian Green]

The Mountain monster meth.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yes, ma'. Am. Yes, ma'. Am. Okay. Okay. So enough talking about your tripping. Let's do this. Cryptic Cryptid pregnancy.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

I believe the official medical version, like the definition of crypted pregnancy, is someone who does not know that they are pregnant until they actually give birth.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Which I understand happens more often than you would think it does.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I just can't believe.

[Brian Green]

Can't believe it either.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

But there used to be a whole show about it on your favorite.

[Brian Green]

I didn't know I was pregnant.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I couldn't watch that.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

No, me either.

[Brian Green]

But I want to review a Dr. Phil episode that someone sent us that I watched a little bit of, and I thought, this is definitely commercial break fodder here. This is not that kind of pregnancy. They're misusing the term. And I don't say Dr. Phil is. The people who are on the show are misusing the term. Do you want to get into this a little bit? One lady thinks she's having five babies. She's been pregnant for six years. One person thinks they've been pregnant for three years and they're having, you know, they have multiple uteruses. This is like a really.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

See what happens when you have to keep coming up with content.

[Brian Green]

That's right. You get down to cryptic cryptid pregnancy.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Dr. Phil.

[Brian Green]

I thought this was perfect for a day on DayQuil. This is a Day on Day quilt kind of show here. Today on an all new Dr. Phil. Wait, I was trolling on the Internet as you. Actually, I wasn't trolling on the Internet. Someone else was trolling on the Internet as they do. As they do. And they sent me this. This whole. Here. So let's take a listen. Today on an all new Dr. Phil.

[Zona]

I am 1,000% certain that I am pregnant.

[Brian Green]

You say there are six babies.

[Zona]

I am getting six heartbeats.

[Brian Green]

And you're how far along?

[Zona]

I'm three years, seven months. It is a very long, long pregnancy.

[Brian Green]

Medical miracle.

The ultrasound shows an empty uterus.

[Zona]

But I have more than one uterus.

[Brian Green]

Or all in her head.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

There it is.

[Brian Green]

You examined Zona, correct?

[Zona]

I did.

[Brian Green]

Were there multiple uterus?

Were there multiple ghost babies in her uterus? I mean, come on, Dr. Phil, just tell her she's crazy.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Actually, talk about this the other day.

[Brian Green]

Though, with the only fans, two vaginas.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

But I thought there were two.

[Brian Green]

There were two uteruses, but I don't believe that they can be pregnant at the same time. But I don't know this for sure. We're about to find out. Let Dr. Phil get to the bottom of it. Because if there's anybody who can get to the bottom.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

True medical mystery, it's Dr. Phil. The bovine doctor. Isn't he like a bovine doctor? I think so. The doctor of meat.

Let's do it.

Let's do it the day. Commercial break. Come on the E. Commercial break. This is his last year doing the Dr. Phil show. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

It's about time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I think so. I think two years after he started was probably the time.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, I like Dr. Phil.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I think he's a nice guy.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

He hasn't been an idiot running for office. Somewhere.

[Brian Green]

There's time left. Here we go. Come on, Ducky. Phil. He does have such a nice bald head. He does. Of all the bald heads, I think Dr. Phil's got one of the better ones.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I think they make up it. You know, it's a little powder. Federal powder.

[Brian Green]

I think it's the powder on my head.

This is Zona. She looks happy, glowing, even at about six months pregnant right now. This is Shana, and she looks to be about seven months pregnant. But what if I told you that Zona claims that she has been pregnant for three years?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

What are you doing three years?

[Brian Green]

What do you do? 20, 41. Takes a long time to cook all 30 of these babies. I got a baby in tits. I got two tit babies coming.

Months. And Shayna said, wow.

Is it just me or does some of the audience look. Yeah. Like they should be on stage? Who waits in line for the Dr.

Phil show that she has been with child for over a year? Now, these women say that their fetuses are just growing at an abnormally slow rate, and they have an explanation for it. Take a look.

[Zona]

I've been pregnant approximately three and a half years. Here she is. And she is definitely. We got a belly.

[Brian Green]

We got a belly.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

But three years ago was Covid. And a lot of people gained weight.

[Brian Green]

A lot of people gained weight. And I think a few of them went crazy. I mean, obviously there's a mental illness here. Clearly, you don't think you're. So. I don't want to make fun of the mental illness part of this, but what I think is funny is that any. Any human being that has read a book on science at all would believe that you're pregnant for three years. As a matter of fact, I wonder if this has ever happened. I wonder if a gestation. I know people go past their due date all the time I want, but I wonder if there's A gestation period that has lasted longer than the prescribed, like nine months or nine and a half months or something like that. What do you think? Do you think that is even a possibility in the realm of possibility?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I don't think so.

[Brian Green]

I don't think so either. You've been pregnant A little over.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

She's not for a human woman, I was gonna say.

[Brian Green]

Or a whale. Doesn't a whale have like a five year gestation period or like that? I've had sex with a whale a couple times and I'm waiting for the test results to come back. Fizzle, snizzle, the pizzle, drizzle, snizzle. Oh, that's my baby. I gotta go here with what is called a cryptic pregnancy. As you can tell, I had two cryptic pregnancies. One lasted 44 weeks, one lasted 52 weeks.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

With babies that came out of it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, with actual babies that came out of an actual vagina that were not birthed in a cabbage patch. I'm just wondering now, there's a large.

Group of these women call their pregnancies cryptic.

Oh, cryptic. I kept on saying cryptid. I think cryptid is encrypted. Yeah, well, I think cryptid is the like aliens and mountain monsters. Those are cryptids.

Cryptic pregnancy is defined in the medical field as a pregnancy hidden to the mother until right before labor. But in non medical chat rooms and forums, the word is being used to describe a pregnancy that can last anywhere from 14 months up to seven years.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Seven.

[Brian Green]

Seven years.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Whoa, look at that woman's face.

[Brian Green]

I know. Wouldn't you like, wouldn't there be some kind of alarm bells if you went past a year? Coming through. Got my baby in my double uteri.

Azona is adamant that she is with child and frustrated that her family, her own.

Well, first of all, she looks entirely too old to be having children. She looks like she's in her mid-50s, 50s or 60s.

Family will not believe her. Take a look.

[Zona]

I've been pregnant approximately three.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she's smoking cigarettes. Mom of the year award. Yes.

[Zona]

Seven months. At age 20, I had my tubes tied so I would not have children anymore. I actually got pregnant at 40. I was extremely shocked. I'm still in shock. My belly has continued to grow for the three and a half years, but it does grow out at super low rates. My breasts are tender, my mood swings are super.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah, girl, you got to get that checked.

[Brian Green]

I think there's something going on there. You do have a pregnant looking belly. It doesn't look like normal weight carry.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

That could be cancer or something with the tubes tie that are infected.

[Brian Green]

Well, I don't know but I think she goes to doctors all the time. I think what they're telling her is you're not pregnant. So. But you would think that the doctor would catch something else if it was something serious. Serious.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

There needs to be a scan.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Like a full body scan?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Or a head scan. I'm not sure. Both. Correct.

[Zona]

When I go to a doctor, they take a pregnancy test. Of course it does not show up on.

[Brian Green]

Of course. Of course it doesn't because why would it? I think this is just intention seeking if I'm being honest. Yeah.

[Zona]

Or yearn. They have also given me ultrasounds. They tell me all of negative. The doctors are wrong. I don't care what medical degree they have. I am 1000% certain that I am pregnant.

[Brian Green]

When did we stop trusting people that. That are experts? When did we stop trusting people that went to school to learn this stuff? Honestly, it's so dumb.

[Zona]

The movement in my stomach.

[Brian Green]

Okay. That does not look like a pregnant belly at all.

[Zona]

Is what I'm saying is real. I know.

[Brian Green]

Oh, did you see that cigarette? That's.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

That's so weird.

[Brian Green]

That's why you got a baby in your belly for seven years.

[Zona]

1000%. I am giving birth to multiples. I think I'm carrying six babies. I could not believe how many heartbeats I'm getting in my belly. That is the most overwhelming thing that anyone can go through.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Especially if their tubes are tied.

[Zona]

My family does not believe I'm pregnant. It has torn my family apart.

[Brian Green]

Heart. No. I bet it has. Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

You're gone cart crazy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know. Mom's gone crazy. Exactly. That's what's going on here is that mom has lost her marbles or she desperately needs attention. Either way, a psychologist or a therapist is what's due here. Not a obgyn.

[Zona]

This is the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life. It's real and it's misery. I am sick and tired of being pregnant. I just want them out now. I'm done with this.

[Brian Green]

It looks like she has a pillow. It's stuck in her belly, doesn't it?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I know.

[Zona]

Done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done with pregnancy.

[Sabrina]

I don't want it anymore.

[Dr. Thais]

I'm done.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Now would you agree that this is unusual?

[Zona]

This is very unusual. Very unusual.

[Brian Green]

I have to say I'm the most non judgmental, open minded person I've ever met.

We did do a commercial for the Commercial break. So I'll give them that, yes.

But I really approach every situation like, you know, hell, anything's possible.

[Zona]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Are you approaching this conversation with the possibility that you could be wrong?

[Zona]

1,000%. I know I'm pregnant.

[Brian Green]

Well, there's really nothing for us to talk about then.

[Zona]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Right. Because, I mean, you.

She's like, okay, I'll talk to you later. Thanks, Dr. Phil.

You don't even entertain an alternative explanation.

[Zona]

Well, there's anything, you know, I could have a tumor or something going on with me that I don't know about.

[Brian Green]

Right. That's what I mean. That's a possibility.

[Zona]

I don't know exactly what's going on.

[Brian Green]

And I'm not asking you to abandon your belief.

Well, it's very possible that there's something wrong with you. I just don't think pregnancy is it.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

It's.

[Brian Green]

No. You completely, totally believe that you're pregnant.

[Zona]

I do.

[Brian Green]

And you have a lot of reasons to believe you're pregnant. You say that your breasts have been.

Well, don't placate her, Dr. Phil. I mean, don't do that. Just tell her you're not pregnant. There's no way you're pregnant. You have an ultrasound, multiple ultrasounds that say you're not pregnant.

Tinder your belly. You certainly look. I mean, I wouldn't walk up and say you look pregnant on the street. I might get slapped if you weren't.

Your.

Your belly moves, you say.

[Zona]

Yes, it does. Would you like to feel it?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

No, no, no.

[Brian Green]

Dr. Phil doesn't want to touch anybody.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Who comes on his stage.

[Brian Green]

Maybe in the early years when he was kind of, you know, I kind of try to make it seem somewhat real, but now, no. He's a Maury Povish of therapist.

You say that you have a home fetal Doppler and that you hear not just a heartbeat, but six heartbeats.

[Zona]

That is correct.

[Brian Green]

So you went to the doctor.

[Zona]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

But you knew you'd had your tubes tied. So did you go in there and say, what's going on? I can't be pregnant here?

[Zona]

Yeah, exactly.

[Brian Green]

And were you relieved when they said you're not?

[Zona]

Yeah, I was actually. I was very relieved. But then as the time goes on, you know, like a year down the road, six months down the road, I still feel the tightening. And. And it was. As the time goes on, the tightening got more up around my ribs, so it was hard to breathe, you know.

[Brian Green]

But you've had ultrasounds, right?

[Zona]

Yes, but due to the. The ultrasound is a 15 MHz.

[Brian Green]

Oh, here we go, she's made herself an expert on ultrasounds. This is what people who don't believe in science do, they make themselves experts. And then explain why the experts clearly don't know what they're talking about. Because this is 15 MHz and if they could only turn it up to 23 MHz, then they would see her very frequency. Yes. Oh, just killed Flipper.

[Zona]

And on the machines and normally the Dopplers are like 3-5 MHz, so if it's a too high of a megahertz sometimes it will not pick up.

[Brian Green]

This is amazing technology. And they actually look inside the uterus.

[Zona]

Yeah, but.

[Brian Green]

And it's surprisingly empty.

[Zona]

Exactly.

[Brian Green]

It's surprisingly. You're surprisingly full of is what Dr. Phil is trying to tell you, young lady. You're surprisingly full of. Now listen, obviously this lady, if she really does believe this and she seems to believe this, she is clearly something is wrong with her head, not with her body. But I do have to say. Yeah, yeah. But I do have to say she does have a weird looking belly. It doesn't look like, like someone who's carrying weight. It doesn't look like someone who's obese. It looks kind of like pregnancy but also like a pillow. I'm not really sure but they showed her actual, the skin on her belly and it just looks a little lumpy like. And if she, she has, I guess if she has six uteruses. Listen, that one guy had thousands and thousands of alien babies. Bomb had thousands and thousands of alien babies. Babies. He took them down by the tree and I was getting by multiple alien. And one time I saw all my babies and then named them and I started the savings account for each one. Little alien. Bob. Little alien. Billy Little what, what was that guy's name for Adam? Little spare. Little alien. Spare.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Thought about spear Alien.

[Brian Green]

Let's take our second break and then we'll be back with more cryptic pregnancies. We'll be back.

[Announcer]

Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting, Brian, give us a call at 626-ASKTCB-3. Leave us a voicemail and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can Also text us at 855-TCB8383 and check out our website tcbpodcast.com for all things TCB. You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok CB podcast. And now let's listen to some sponsors because they're the real ones around here.

[Brian Green]

All right, Back here listening to Dr. Phil. In the cryptic pregnancy that's going on, this lady claims she's been pregnant for three plus years with six different babies, even though she's had her tubes tied. And multiple. Multiple ultrasounds.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Tests and ultrasounds.

[Brian Green]

And ultrasounds say that she's not pregnant. But of course, she has a reasoning.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Why that's 1000% sure.

[Brian Green]

1000% sure that they just use the 5 MHz ultrasound. Then they would clearly see the babies. So why not go get a 5 MHz ultrasound? Can't they turn that bad boy down?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I'm sure I've seen those technicians at work. They're really quite amazing, actually.

[Zona]

This pregnancy happens in the bat. It's a retro inverted uterus.

[Brian Green]

So now that just sounds made up. A retro inverted universe. Sounds like something you put on your car. It's like a catalytic converter.

[Zona]

The pregnancy doesn't happen up front. It's more in the back.

[Brian Green]

You've been told.

I've got two ass babies going on. I sit on them all the time. You ever had an ass baby, Chrissy? Longer gestation period, Hemorrhoids. A whole nine yards. But this ass baby's a little bigger than that ass baby. You want to take a look? Let me show you.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

No.

[Brian Green]

No. Okay. You think Jizzle Drizzle will get mad.

At me that you have a baby hair ultrasound?

[Zona]

I went on a baby hair.

[Brian Green]

A baby hair ultrasound. I've had 72 kids and I've never seen a baby hair ultrasound.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Give me the baby hair.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it sounds like something Frankie uses at one of his shops. Now I'm gonna give you the best advice I've ever given anybody. Get a baby hair ultrasound. Grow your baby hair right back.

[Zona]

She gave me a quick ultrasound, and the first thing she did is like, oh, the baby has a lot of hair. And I'm like, oh, great, we see a baby. That's awesome. You know, maybe it's at the time where we could start seeing.

[Brian Green]

It says nothing. It says, zona's baby hair ultrasound from 2018. That's five years ago.

[Zona]

And now. And then she's like, oh, you need to come back. I come back Monday. There's nobody there except me and her. She does.

[Brian Green]

Of course. Of course there's nobody there to verify the information. Reputable. There's a lot of places where you can pay for an ultrasound, and most of them have very reputable technicians that work in hospitals during the day and they do this for extra money at night. But this is probably not one of those places. This is a hot stone massage place down the street.

[Zona]

The ultrasound. And she says, oh, you have a medical problem. And she told me a medical problem. And then she's like, oh, here's the baby's hair. It's kind of, you know, different that we say we see hair here, but yet when I go in the second time, oh, we don't see any hair.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Just hair.

[Brian Green]

No, Chrissy, this doesn't happen. This is not what happens. They don't.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

What about.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, heart, lungs.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yeah, the body.

[Brian Green]

I have been to many ultrasounds. I know that's pretty girl right there, but she's like, I think I'm also half a baby. Hair, Pregnancy.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Just the hair.

[Brian Green]

I've been to multiple ultrasounds and never once has the technician taken a picture of hair. Never. You know what they're concerned about? The left ventricle, the right ventricle, the liver, the, you know, the penis or the vagina, the legs, the bone. That's what they're worried about. That's what they're taking pictures of. Unless you get one of those vanity ultrasounds at the pay for place. We were just looking for pretty pictures of your yet unborn baby. Trust me, there's gonna be plenty of pictures when they come out. You don't need them beforehand unless there's a medical emergency. But they never once indicated that they saw hair on an ultrasound. Never. Not once.

Say there are six babies.

[Zona]

I am getting six. I am getting six heartbeats in different positions in my stomach.

[Brian Green]

And you're how far along?

[Zona]

Well, I'm three years, seven months. To my knowledge.

[Brian Green]

To my knowledge.

Could be longer.

[Zona]

Could be longer. Okay, longer.

[Brian Green]

Could be longer, Dr. Phil. Could be.

But you're saying there are six fetuses.

[Zona]

I know, it's unbelievable. It is unbelievable to me, too, to look at me.

[Brian Green]

Well, dude, I want to meet the guy who gave you six shots in six different uteruses and got it up.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

The whole thing is really crazy.

[Brian Green]

Geez, man, they had to put me on, like, chemicals and stuff to get my little guys up all the way.

[Zona]

Up there and think, six babies. Oh, no. I mean, I think the same thing, but when I put that fetal doppler to my stomach, I was in shock.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Is that like a Doppler radar?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's calling it something very fancy. It's a. It's a microphone is what it is. And the microphone, you rub it against your Belly. And then it's very sensitive. So. Okay. So I'm just explaining for the audience out there, in case they haven't seen it, they don't call it a fetal Doppler. That's not what they call it.

[Zona]

And when I showed one of my good friends, she was in shock.

[Brian Green]

Well, do you remember the story about Octomom?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

What's my good friend?

[Brian Green]

One of my good friends, Miss Space Ghost. Coast to coast. You're pregnant.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Nothing like collaborating with a good friend.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, good friend. My good friend, Mr. Smith. The fish. I know. It's six of them. It's crazy. I don't know. Three plus years. I don't know when it's coming out. Yes.

You know, I brought that story to America pretty much. And so I. Oh, Good for you, Dr. Phil.

Toot your own horn. Come on, man. You don't toot your own horn. You're fucking Dr. Phil. Everybody knows who you are.

I worked with Octavo.

I brought that story to America, you know? Bring that story to America.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

She was all over America.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. National Enquirer, People magazine. Everybody had that story.

And so that was eight babies. Yeah.

Yes.

And she was a lot bigger. But how did you decide?

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Also, she had them within a normal gestation period.

[Brian Green]

Yes, she had. I think they came early, actually. And by the way, let us not forget Octomom, for those of you that don't remember. Too young to remember. What is this, like 15, 20 years ago? Maybe at this point, Maybe. Maybe those kids are like 15. This lady had eight children. She got pregnant because she was taking fertility drugs. She got pregnant with eight. Eight children. And she gave birth to all of them, all of which are still alive, healthy and happy. And octo mom is an octo fucking mother. She actually is like a good mother. She raised those children. She figured it out. And yeah, she's a little looney tune. Back then she seemed like she was a little looney tuned. But the last time that I read about Octomom, it apparently things turned out swimmingly for me.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I agree. I read that. I read about that too.

[Brian Green]

I have big applause for Octomom. I can't raise. I'm having a hard time raising one at a time. I can't even.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

And she was single?

[Brian Green]

She was. Yeah, yeah. I mean, she had a little help. People like, you know, they donated and stuff like that, but when you have eight children at a time, you need somebody to donate. Now that K plus 8, that's a different story.

The term cryptic pregnancy defines this, because that's not the definition of cryptic pregnancy.

[Zona]

Cryptic pregnancy is a pregnancy that you do not show the HCG levels either at, at or around 20 weeks. It may show up or through the whole.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you're the expert. You clearly went to school for this because you understand all about the megahertz and the gestation periods and six uteruses and the reverse catalytic.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

How many cigarettes does it take to. Yeah, to four of the kids.

[Brian Green]

That tells me all I need to know about this woman.

[Zona]

See, now with the cryptic pregnancy, your HCG levels are so low that the babies don't even get bones. Bones. Until they're two to three years old in the womb.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

What?

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

They just form hair first.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. They go from zygote to hair.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Yes, and body and everything else. But hair comes first.

[Brian Green]

Hair first. Eyeballs come in after they're born, then those grow. Yeah, yeah. This is perfectly normal explanation.

[Zona]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That's not the definition of cryptic pregnancy.

[Zona]

Cryptic pregnancy is a pregnancy that is.

[Brian Green]

Here's the medical definition of cryptic pregnancy. This is in the journals. This is in the textbooks. This has been there long before you.

Ever decided, before you ever started making shit up that you were pregnant.

Cryptic or denied pregnancy refers to the absence of awareness by a woman that she is pregnant until she delivers her baby. But the gestation is a normal gestation time.

No, no, no. All those science journals. Those are the same science journals that say 300 kilowatt hours to the DeLorean will make a time machine. But they were clearly wrong about that. Just ask that guy from Back to the Future. This is fucking insane. She's got a double catalytic converter. Rear ass pregnancy with seven different uterus. Yeah, she got four vaginas in her belly.

[Zona]

Cryptic pregnancy lasts two to seven years. And it's on. The Gilmore foundation is where I got my information.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

From.

[Brian Green]

On the Internet?

[Zona]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, the Gilmore foundation sounds completely legitimate. It's the fan page for the Gilmore Girls. Well, that's just where I get all my good information from the Gilmore Foundation.

[Zona]

Our foundation. They also told me anything that is 110 or more. More, as long as you're at rest, is a baby.

[Brian Green]

But you understand that.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

No, she doesn't understand.

[Brian Green]

She does not understand Dr. Phil. That's why you just keep on playing this game with her like you are open minded to the idea that she might have these babies in her belly is giving her more proof and more fuel. But I do understand you have to make your show entertaining also. So I, I do get that. Like I. I know where he's coming.

From tire medical complex for decades has defined this differently before you ever came along. And then somebody just hijacked the term and gave it a new definition.

[Zona]

No, because I have never read about a normal gestation time. Because cryptic pregnancy is not a normal gestation time. Normally it's two to seven years.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it is. You can call this something else.

I Love this. Go Dr. Phil. Now you're getting into it.

Not a cryptic pregnancy.

[Zona]

This pregnancy isn't normal. It is a very long, long pregnancy.

[Brian Green]

We can agree that the ultrasound shows an empty uterus.

[Zona]

Well, when you have more than one uterus, yes, it might show an empty uterus. But I have more than one uterus, so.

[Brian Green]

But the uterus that has been scanned is empty.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Okay. And yes. And did you check my armpit uterus? No. They won't even do a 5 MHz catalytic converter ultra hair ultrasound on that one.

Correct.

[Zona]

I'm sure it is, because it's not in that. It's not in that uterus. It's in my back uterus.

[Brian Green]

Why has that one not been scanned?

[Zona]

Because nobody. I don't know. You'd have to ask the medical field on that.

[Brian Green]

What about the Gilmore Girls? Why would I answer that question? They're on Netflix.

Coming up, Zona's daughter Sabrina says that.

Mommy's a looney tune.

Mom talks about her pregnancy non stop, but she doesn't believe her mom is having a baby. She just doesn't believe her. So we'll meet Sabrina next.

Okay? I want to hear what Sabrina has to say for sure, don't you? Yeah, because this is gonna be good.

[Sabrina]

Bigger than she's ever been my whole life. I do not believe that my mom is pregnant.

[Zona]

Even with my big bad belly?

[Sabrina]

Even with your big belly.

[Zona]

What, you think I'm just fat?

[Brian Green]

Yes, Mom. Okay, there. She looks fat. Yeah. There. That looks fat. Clearly. All right, let's scan and we'll get to her daughter. I'm gonna take out all the commercials here. Dr. Phil is good at putting commercials in a show. I will say that I do believe.

[Zona]

My anatomy is totally different. I know when I'm in the bed with my man that I have many parts down there. I don't just have one vagina. I have more than one vagina. And I probably have more than one uterus, too. I cannot prove that because I am not legal to read CAT scans.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Welcome. She did air quotes. Yeah, legal.

[Brian Green]

Legal. I didn't know it was illegal to.

Read a CAT scan.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I know. I was gonna say I think It's a question of legality.

[Brian Green]

I do it all the time. Every time I get a medical report, I'm out there googling. But you know what? I to try trust science. So if someone that I find reputable, like, you know, Johns Hopkins University, says something, then I believe it.

[Zona]

Yeah, right one, a left one, and a back left one. It's different down there.

[Brian Green]

She's got multiple vaginas.

Zona. Okay, hold on, guys. Zona claims that she has been pregnant for three years and seven months now. Her daughter Sabrina says there is no way that her mom is having. Having a baby. Let's hear what Sabrina has to say.

[Sabrina]

My mother's been saying she's pregnant for almost four years. I honestly don't know what is happening with her. I really don't. It is weird that she has a belly. She's definitely bigger than she's ever been my whole life. I do not believe that my mom is pregnant.

[Zona]

Even with my big belly.

[Sabrina]

Even with your big belly?

[Zona]

What, you think I'm just fat?

[Sabrina]

Me and my mother argue about this a lot. It's been a constant struggle and arguments and confrontations and not even be able.

[Zona]

To carry out a conversation because she just wants somebody to believe her.

[Sabrina]

I do not believe it's possible to be pregnant for more than a year. I told her elephants carry a baby for two years, not people. She gets mad and it's, oh, you're my daughter. Why can't you believe me? Or it's my body. I believed you. Which I did have babies, so you have to believe me.

[Brian Green]

I actually had children come out of my uterus.

[Sabrina]

This whole cryptic pregnancy thing has gone on for years, and it needs to stop.

[Brian Green]

Wow, this is just amazing to me that someone is this stuck in their beliefs when it's clearly like, alien bullshit.

Okay. Joining us in the audience.

But actually, it shouldn't be a surprise because I think we have like 30% of this country right now that goes down that same direction is Sabrina.

Thank you so much for being here. Were you smoking on in that tape?

[Zona]

Yes, I was. Unfortunately, with this, I am very frustrated. It's a difficult thing. And yes, prove that I'm pregnant. Let's get the. When we get the results. And I won't smoke.

[Brian Green]

So you don't even think you're pregnant. That's what you just told us. Because you're smoking cigarettes because you don't believe you're pregnant. But if you find out you're pregnant, then you will stop smoking. Lady, you're. You need medical attention immediately. But not of the OB GYN kind.

[Zona]

With this.

[Brian Green]

But you. You believe that you're pregnant.

[Zona]

You're right. And it's.

[Brian Green]

Why would you smoke?

[Zona]

Because I'm dumb and I'm. And I'm very stressed with this. I mean, this is almost four years. It's unreal.

[Brian Green]

You know, what's your position?

It is unreal. That's right.

[Sabrina]

My position is I don't believe it.

[Zona]

You'll leave it when they're born.

[Brian Green]

Do you have children? And when Was your firstborn?

[Zona]

2011.

[Brian Green]

And when did this.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

She looks.

[Brian Green]

She looks young. Yeah, she looks like 13 years old.

[Sabrina]

2014, when my third son was born.

[Brian Green]

Geez.

She says that she hears six heartbeats. How many grandchildren do you have?

[Zona]

Six.

[Brian Green]

We had. You see a very prominent OB gyn.

Okay. Here's where the rubber meets the road. Thank God.

And she is one of the country's leading OBGYNs. You. Hi, Doctor. Thank you for being here. Thank you. I really appreciate it. You examined Zona, correct?

[Dr. Thais]

I did.

[Brian Green]

Did you notice anything unusual about her anatomy?

[Dr. Thais]

No, her anatomy is completely normal.

[Brian Green]

Were there multiple uterus?

[Dr. Thais]

No. And I might miss a lot of things in my life, but I don't miss extra vaginas.

[Brian Green]

Go, Dr. Thais.

[Dr. Thais]

That won't happen.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I would think.

[Zona]

My concern is, why are there that many heartbeats in me that the Doppler is picking up?

[Brian Green]

Okay, what about these fetal monitors?

[Dr. Thais]

So, first of all, you can. Even if you carry one baby, I can put a term. I can put that Doppler anywhere in the abdominal area, and I would pick up a heartbeat. For us as physicians, when someone's pregnant with multiple, you know, four. I've done quadruplets. I would never use a Doppler. I would actually use an ultrasound to locate the heartbeats. On ultrasound.

[Brian Green]

Of course.

[Dr. Thais]

But you need to have a baby to pick up a Doppler. She was not. We had her bring her Doppler to my office, and she was not able to reproduce.

[Zona]

You know, I did three heartbeats in your office. And why didn't you use the regular ultrasound Doppler instead of using mine? It was right there.

[Brian Green]

Because there's no baby ultrasound.

[Dr. Thais]

Doppler works when there's a fetus inside.

[Zona]

Okay. Why didn't you use it to see? I couldn't find some technology against technology. Why didn't.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. This lady is way down the rabbit hole.

[Zona]

This is really something to understand cryptic pregnancy or whatever this pregnancy is called. Why didn't you, as a doctor, use your equipment to do this.

[Dr. Thais]

When I see an empty uterus.

[Brian Green]

Uterus.

[Dr. Thais]

I don't look for babies anymore. Babies grow inside the uterus. It doesn't matter if you have an anti vertex that points up, which points downwards. A lot of us have that. I see that on a daily basis. I don't care where your uterus is. I don't care how much food you have in your intestines. I don't care if it's pointing backwards forwards. If you've had 10 C sections and you have adhesions, I can see the uterus and I can see the fetus in it. As soon as you're five weeks pregnant and there's a small sac on my ultrasound, I can pick it up. So when I do an ultrasound and the ultrasound's empty, I'm not going to look for a heartbeat outside of the uterus. You cannot carry a pregnancy outside of the uterus.

[Brian Green]

We're going to meet another member.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Unbelievable. Whoa. Well, it's interesting every day of the week. Why does this keep happening to me? I don't know. Whatever. Who cares? We're talking about the in studio screens, and sometimes they don't play nice with me. And today they're not playing nice with me. But that's okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

It's a cryptic screen.

[Brian Green]

It's a cryptic screen. You know, it's been pregnant for nine years. It's been. It hasn't been paid in nine years. Oh, my God, Chrissy. That was a weird one, I gotta say, but I was actually fascinated by it. I wish we could watch the. The Next Lady. I'll watch that in my personal time. Yeah, okay. All right. I hope that lady gets the help that she don't so rightfully needs.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I hope so too.

[Brian Green]

So richly deserves. Because clearly she's mentally ill. Mentally ill or desperately seeking attention. Yes. Yeah. I mean, and maybe that's it. A lot of people who seek attention say a lot of things. Right. And they get stuck in that belief because they're getting attention for that belief.

[Dr. Thais]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I'm sure she's the.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I guess she's a little Dr. Phil.

[Brian Green]

I'm. I'm sure she's all the rage on 4chan. I'm sure people are going crazy on 4chan over her. Oh, my gosh. All right, well, you heard it here last. Cryptic pregnancy is not Cryptid pregnancy. Nor is it. Nor is it someone who has a pregnancy for nine and a half years. No, it's just someone who doesn't know they're pregnant until they actually give birth. And that Happens all the time. Unbelievably, that happens all the time.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

So crazy too.

[Brian Green]

It is crazy, isn't it? Yeah, but some people do and. Yeah. Okay. All right, so tcp. I don't know. I don't know how else. I don't know what else to say about that lady. All right, tcvpodcast.com that's where you go. You find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. DCB Podcast.com, your free piggy fronting sticker, it can be yours. All you have to do is go to the website, hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we will send it off. We're happy to sign something and do all that, but don't ask for 35 different stickers. Come on, guys, you think we have money around here? You think we can afford to pay for more stickers? No, I mean if there's a certain. If there's a special circumstance, we will consider it. Chrissy and I will adjudicate that. All right. 626. Ask TCB the number three. That's 1626. Ask TCB the number 3. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas. We take them all at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I love you. I love you best to you. Now that's all. You get it.

[Kristen Joy Hoodley]

Now get.

[Brian Green]

Sa.