Break Glass In Case Of Stupidity !

Summary

The Commercial Break – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Break Glass In Case Of Stupidity!
Release Date: June 5, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley (with interludes by Rachel)
Podcast: The Commercial Break

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Overview

This "lost episode" of The Commercial Break, hosted by Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley, is released as a backup after a recording snafu. The duo delivers their signature blend of improv comedy and unfiltered banter, riffing on topics like public speaking fears, the awkwardness of sharing your podcast persona with acquaintances, the latest Snow White movie controversy, parenting in the public eye via reality TV, and the homogenization of popular music. True to form, the show is a whirlwind of humorous tangents, personal stories, cultural commentary, and self-deprecation, underscored by the hosts’ wry admission that not every episode is a gourmet meal — some are just a “mediocre casserole.”

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Episode Structure & Key Segments

1. Parody Commercial Cold Open (00:07-02:45)

• Skit: Fake infomercial for "Placebotide," a mock medication.
• Tone: Over-the-top satire of pharmaceutical ads, mixing absurd lyrics and disclaimers.
• Memorable line:
  • "Placebutide, also known as table salt, is a prescription drug targeting receptors in your brain. … It's known to be over .003% effective in all adults…" – Jeannie Liu (00:16)
  • "Get your life back on track and befriend your measles. Ask your doctor if placematide is right for you." – Jeannie Liu (01:59)

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2. Lost Episode Context & the “Break Glass” Moment (02:45-05:20)

• Explanation: Bryan admits forgetting to record a previous episode, necessitating an emergency backup – a/k/a "the lost episode."
• Self-aware banter:
  • “Otherwise known as the episodes that were too mediocre to even run on the commercial break RSS feed. Yes, we like to call them TCB's lost episodes, but. But there's a reason why they're lost. They're probably not any good.” – Bryan Gray (02:59)
• Teases topics: spring break, Snow White reboot, “Seven Little Johnstons.”

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3. Making Friends As an Adult & Sharing the Podcast with Others (05:20-22:09)

A. The “Coffee Boyfriend” Anecdote (05:20-14:19)

• Bryan shares a story about befriending an older man at Starbucks and helping him with public speaking fears.
  • On podcast nerves:
    • “First of all, I don't see any of [the audience]. That instantly eases my mind.” – Bryan Gray (07:20)
  • Tips for public speaking:
    • “You just gotta know this material inside and out. So I'm gonna put you in a boot camp.” – Bryan Gray (09:41)
• Worries about sharing TCB with his new “coffee boyfriend,” fearing he might be judged or “dumped” for the show’s wildness (13:21).

B. The Difficulty of Making Adult Friends (14:19-19:27)

• Bryan’s experience being rebuffed at a birthday party after stating it’s harder to make friends as you age.
  • “The older you get, the harder it is to make friends.” – Bryan Gray (15:48)
• Krissy agrees, highlighting how social opportunities shrink over time.

C. Podcast Identity and Parents at School (19:34-22:09)

• Nervousness about parents at his kids’ school finding TCB via his email in a class-wide message.
• The awkwardness of defining "improv comedy podcast" to the uninitiated:
  • “Improv means we have no plan whatsoever. It just all comes from the top of my tiny little mouse brain.” – Bryan Gray (21:16)
• On the worry that their content is “800 hours” of material available for scrutiny.

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4. Pop Culture Tangents & Social Commentary (24:48-42:25)

A. Snow White Reboot Drama & Cultural Sensitivity (24:48-32:15)

• Bryan discusses Disney reboot chaos involving casting, CGI “dwarfs,” political drama, and “woke vs. anti-woke” debates.

  • “Wasn't there a time when we all just accepted that Disney was a company that was cool for the kids?” – Bryan Gray (27:17)
  • “Could The Office get made in 2025? Probably not.” – Bryan Gray (28:08)

• Wonders why everything is so “politicized and fraught” now.

• Memorable moment:

  • “I just want to go see a movie without all of that stuff. Thank God no one actually cares about the commercial break. And we don't get torn apart like that.” – Bryan Gray (29:29)

• The trigger warning email — pushback over a llama joke (29:44-31:41).

  • “My knee jerk reaction was, oh, I should do that. But then I thought to myself, then the tail's just wagging the dog… If you think that joke was made intentionally to hurt you or to make you upset, then there you go.” – Bryan Gray (30:14, 31:27)

B. Reality TV Parenting & “Seven Little Johnstons” (32:34-43:19)

• Bryan gives a detailed overview (and light critique) of Seven Little Johnstons.

  • “What a gift, right? And they had medical problems and no family and all this other stuff. …They bring them here… you're going to be comfortable because everybody else is like you.” – Bryan Gray (34:03)

• Critiques the oversharing and tough-love parenting style on TV.

  • “They really do not shy away from talking about any of the drama going on in the family, including problems with their kids.” – Bryan Gray (34:35)

• Comparison to other reality TV parenting shows (Kate Plus 8).

• Notable quote:

  • “If my dad had a confessional on a reality television show and had the kind of willingness to talk about it that these parents do, I would not have made it past 18 years old.” – Bryan Gray (37:59)

• Considers the lure of fame and the tradeoffs (“300 grand for a season, I’d talk shit about you all day long”).

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5. Comedy, Gender, & Social Responsibility (46:52-49:00)

A. Saluting Women & Cultural Change

• Bryan marks International Women’s Day and muses on women’s role in society.
  • “Thank God, thank God, thank God for women…I'm enamored with all of you.” – Bryan Gray (46:52, 47:26)

B. Serious Moment – Sexual Violence Statistic

• Merges comedy and social awareness; stats on sexual violence impunity prompt a call for men to actively uphold respect and safety:
  • “94 to 95% of all rapists will never spend a day in jail. And that is terrible…we have an opportunity to make it unacceptable in the culture…” – Bryan Gray (47:57-49:00)

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6. Music Singularity & the Modern Music Industry (49:00-64:44)

A. Homogenization of Popular Music (49:00-55:45)

• Bryan introduces the concept of “music singularity”—the idea that AI algorithms and the chase for virality are rendering music increasingly similar across genres.
  • “The algorithm is determining what sounds good to us…all [music] sounds alike.” – Bryan Gray (51:08)
• Krissy questions whether this isn’t just the latest version of music trends.
  • “There were sounds of the 50s, 60s… it's kind of trendy, right?” – Chrissy Joy (51:08)
• Bryan argues it’s more extreme now due to AI & streaming algorithms.

B. Musical Originality & Industry Fakery (56:40-62:44)

• Rants about “seat fillers” (fake audience members) and “fake followers” inflating online success to garner industry attention.
  • “Fake it till you make it… some people are going to call this a really ingenious way of manufacturing some interest in the band, and other people are going to say, that's total bullshit.” – Bryan Gray (59:59)
• Jokes about running TCB “live shows” with paid seat fillers and staging their own viral moment.

C. Call for Musical Diversity

• Plea to support independent music:
  • “Listen to new music, find independent artists, go to the venues and watch them.” – Bryan Gray (56:40)
  • Offers to play listener-submitted music on the podcast (63:41-64:44).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Parody Ad Open: 00:07-02:45
• Lost Episode Setup & Starbuck’s Coffee Boyfriend: 05:20-14:19
• Adult Friendships: 14:19-19:27
• Podcast Anxieties: 19:34-22:09
• Snow White/Pop Culture Rants: 24:48-32:15
• Reality TV Parenting: 32:34-43:19
• International Women’s Day & Social Commentary: 46:52-49:00
• Music Singularity & Industry Scams: 49:00-62:44
• Listener Music Invitation: 63:41

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Notable Quotes

• “Improv means we have no plan whatsoever. It just all comes from the top of my tiny little mouse brain.” – Bryan Gray (21:16)
• “Wasn't there a time when we all just accepted that Disney was a company that was cool for the kids?” – Bryan Gray (27:17)
• “If every parent at my kid's school had 800 hours of their life out there on the Internet, I could get a feel for who they were and make a decision about whether or not that's my speed.” – Bryan Gray (22:20)
• "I would say, on a more serious note, 94 to 95% of all rapists will never spend a day in jail. ... as men, as part of that group, the men, we have an opportunity to make it unacceptable in the culture for that kind of violence..." – Bryan Gray (47:57)
• “The music is actually starting a lot to sound… like a country song sounds like a pop record, sounds like a rock record… the algorithm is accelerating it." – Bryan Gray (52:22)

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Tone, Style, and Flow

• Tone: Irreverent, self-aware, loosely structured, honest, wryly pessimistic at times, but always humorous.
• Flow: Twists from parody and inside-jokes to real-life stories, cultural critique, and back. Even serious moments are handled with uneasy charm or quick humor.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is classic Commercial Break: reflective, funny, often self-effacing, and always ready to wrestle big topics through the unique lens of two long-time friends who “just want to hit you in the giggle spot with some mediocre comedy.” It’s packed with asides, anecdotes, and commentary that will make both fans and new listeners feel like they’ve just eavesdropped on the funniest table at brunch.

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe!

Transcript

[Jeannie Liu]

Hey there, Jim Bob.

[Brian Gray]

Hey there, Jeannie Liu.

[Jeannie Liu]

Me and some of the girls are gonna meet up this Saturday to get coffee after book club.

[Brian Gray]

Wanna join? Well, I'd love to, but my measles is done actin up again.

[Jeannie Liu]

Are you suffering from monthly, weekly or even daily flare ups of your measles? Ask your doctor what placebotide can do for you. Placebutide, also known as table salt, is a prescription drug targeting receptors in your brain. Those receptors can believe that you can cure your own measles. Placematide is known to be over.003% effective in all adults and 0% effective in all children.

[Unknown Singer]

I used to think my rash was contagious. I used to sit inside all day. I used to think my doctor would cure me. Now I can just wish it all away. Glossy by tide makes my measles better. Glossy by tide makes my rasher less redder. Blossey by T.

[Jeannie Liu]

In rare circumstances, placebotide may have serious side effects. Consult your doctor if you experience any of the rash. Fever, better tasting chicken, high blood pressure, the inability to retain water over seasoned pasta and fruits. Neighing like a horse. Hospitalization due to measles, the actual measles, the retraction of invitations to social functions, the inability to join other human beings in public places, losing touch with family members, losing touch with reality, and in rare cases, divorce.

[Unknown Singer]

I used to avoid indoor parties. I used to fear going outside. But now I love my little red bumps. I love my rash. It's pretty fly.

[Brian Gray]

I used to let my measles control me. Now I pretend I can control my measles.

[Jeannie Liu]

Get your life back on track and befriend your measles. Ask your doctor if placematide is right for you. Placebutide now has full FDA approval. If your doctor refuses to prescribe placebutide, please contact your local sheriff's office and ask for citizen arrest instructions. Placebutide. Don't let those measly measles bring you down. Turn your rash into succotash with placebo Tide.

[Unknown Singer]

Placebo Tide. It makes my rash seem better. Placebotide. It makes my face look redder. Placebo Tide. Placebo Tide Place.

[Brian Gray]

On this episode of the Commercial break. Well, hey there, cats and kittens. As does happen from time to time, Brian will forget to hit the record button while Chrissy and I waste an immense amount of our day trying to hit you in the giggle spot with some mediocre comedy that happened yesterday. And since we just did 13 episodes of the commercial break over the weekend, we really don't have anything to back it up. But because we learned our lesson so long ago, we always have a break glass in case of emergency kind of episode waiting to roll out on just such an occasion. Otherwise known as the episodes that were too mediocre to even run on the commercial break. RSS speed. Yes, we like to call them tcb's lost episodes, but. But there's a reason why they're lost. They're probably not any good. And fortunately or unfortunately for you, I'm going to have to run one of those today. In lieu of any additional content listening back to this episode that we put in the can. It's not that bad. However, it will sound awful dated as we talk about spring break, the reboot of Snow White, and my favorite television show, the Seven Little Johnstons. You'll excuse our brains just a little bit for being a tad foggy, as us old folks in the old folks home need a couple extra reps to recover from working what everyone else in the world calls a normal day. All right, enjoy this TCB lost episode and I promise I'm gonna remember to hit record tomorrow. There's my Myacopa. It's all you get. Enjoy the next episode of the commercial break starts now. 5:30. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Gray. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy. Hold the best you best you out there in the podcast universe. The 5:30 kind of slowed me down for a minute. 5:30.

[Chrissy Joy]

Dinner time.

[Brian Gray]

Dinner time. Chicken nuggets to serve. What was he serving? Chicken pot pie or some like that. Yeah, what was Chicken nugget?

[Chrissy Joy]

No, dumplings.

[Brian Gray]

Chicken and dumplings. Chicken and dumplings. Good old Mother's Day dinner with a weirdo in the corner that I didn't attend because I had to get my kids out of there. We got. For their own safety. For their own safety.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Gray]

Oh, my mother, my good old mother. She left me a message that some other people in the place are listening to the show and I thought, okay, well, you know, I won't be allowed there anymore. So that's good news. The old retirement home is gonna kick me out. I don't know what to say anymore.

[Chrissy Joy]

There's gonna be a picture of you on the front door that says if you see this guy.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. See this guy. Yeah. No incis, no Dixies, no taxis, no taxi backsies. Which reminds me, like I. I go up to that Starbucks so much and I know a few people up There do know now about the commercial break, but they don't say anything, which is very nice of them. Some people have said a few things, but it's never been anything that made me feel uncomfortable. I do appreciate that. Not like I'm famous. That's not what I'm worried about. What I'm worried about, quite frankly, is the things I say on this dumb fucking show. That I'm gonna say something that's gonna offend somebody's sensibilities or they're going to hear something about my personal life. That blows. The nice guy Brian, walks in the door, grabs a cup of coffee, says hi to everybody. How are the kids? How's the dog to get that tooth fixed? And then leaves, right? No, he's really just a whiny old dickhead. That's what he is. He's a whiny, old, crabby, crotchety former drug addict. But, you know, hey, listen, I very rarely get any shit, but I have met a few of the customers up there now, and one of the customers is. And we've kind of become friendly. And I like the guy. And he's an older gentleman, and he's done well in life. He sold a couple companies. You know, he's got a dog that he always brings up there. And so the dog. After years of going up there and seeing this dog, I think the dog just kind of took a liking to me because it would come by he was on a leash, but I'd pet the dog and eventually. Hey, what's the dog's name? Hey, cool. Hey, what do you do? Hey, all right. Hey, I see you up here all the time. Cool. And now, you know, we have, like, little coffee dates or, like, little coffee boyfriends, right? He'll be like, I'm going up to the Starbucks. Oh, okay, I'll meet you there in 10. I get dressed and put on my best perfume. Perfume and head up there. I put on my makeup and I go up there.

[Chrissy Joy]

Fix your face.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. And then we sit on the, you know, on the patio and we chat and we chat. Super, super nice guy. And. But he's got, like. He's got a fear of speaking in public, and he's got an event coming up, and it's his business, so I'm not going to share all the details, but he's got an event coming up where he has no choice but to speak in public. And so I jump in. He didn't ask for the help, but I jumped in. And I think the original question was, how do you do it? Like, how do you get on the microphone and talk to all those people? Well, first of all, I don't see any of them. So that. Yeah, that instantly eases my mind. Is that. And I don't even talk to them live. It's not. When I was on the radio live, which only happened a very few times, because here's a little secret about radio that's not even live. No, it's recorded minutes ahead of time and then pushed out. And most. Even if it's like live live, which happens very rarely, maybe like a morning show or something like that, it's on a two minute delay. So you're not even really live live. You can dump it. You can dump it and move to something else. So nothing really on in any media except for Twitch and YouTube is really live live anymore. It's a. That's a. That's a high wire act that very few people do. So I'm not nervous. I can go and I can edit out something that I say. Now, I very rarely do that because I'm so lazy, but if I should say something that would be, you know, crazy, crass, rude, whatever, offensive, I just go edit it out. So I'm like, hey, dude, there's nothing to it. And he's like, well, I just don't understand because I just have this incredible fear of speaking in public.

[Chrissy Joy]

A lot of people do.

[Brian Gray]

And I have owned companies and when I have to get up and give speeches at those companies, you know, a couple times a year, for whatever reason, he's like, I'm mortified, I'm terrified. He goes, sometimes I'm on a Zoom call and I get nervous, I'll bail. And I just pretend that the zoom broke. Like, he's like, I'll come back later and I'll just pretend that I. The zoom broke. And I'm like, I get it. It's not a particularly weird fear. There's lots of people that have this fear. I would be lying if I say I feel perfectly calm walking up and speaking in front of people. But I have done it enough in my life. You have that? I have some coping mechanisms. Mainly narcotics, but yes, mainly little, Little pills. Yeah. There's something about an incredible hangover that just knocks out all the fear. You know what I'm saying? If you're hungover, you can't think about anything else but that headache. But I think one of the things that you do is that you have to be relatively well rehearsed.

[Chrissy Joy]

I was going to say prepared or.

[Brian Gray]

Know the material you're gonna speak about backward and forward, so the words just come out of your mouth, regardless of, you know, we've all been there where we're in such an anxious fit that it's like we can. It's almost like we're. We're outside ourselves a little bit. It's like we're in a different world and our mouths get dry and we can't speak the words where, if you know it inside and out, the words just come out. And you don't have to worry about being outside yourself because you're just. It's like an autonomous vehicle. It's just driving itself at that point. So I think that's part of why I feel a certain comfort when I go to, like, a podcasting conference or something like that. I know the material pretty well. I'm. I'm. I'm as well educated about podcasting as I think most people would be. And so I. I said to him, I said, listen, you just gotta know this material inside and out. So I'm gonna put you in a boot camp. We're gonna do a boot camp, and we're gonna get you ready to do this. This number. I'm gonna help you get there.

[Chrissy Joy]

What a nice coffee boyfriend, Jared.

[Brian Gray]

Hey, listen, I am a coffee boyfriend of coffee boy. I'm like a therapist all mixed in one. But this is my first coffee boyfriend. So I don't really know how you handle these situations, but I just jumped in and offered to help him because I felt bad for him, because this event is one of those events where he definitely has to speak. There's no question marks about it. He's got to say something. He can't avoid it. He said, well, maybe I was going to think about doing a PowerPoint. I'm like, you're not going to do a PowerPoint. Don't do a PowerPoint PowerPoints unless it's the best PowerPoint that's ever been put together. No one fucking cares. It's a snooze fest.

[Chrissy Joy]

And you, because you just end up reading what's on the PowerPoint to the people, and it's like, well, I could have just read it myself.

[Brian Gray]

Yes. If I had a dollar for every presentation that was given to me by someone reading the bullet points on a presentation, I would be a rich man. Because I've seen it happen so much in my life as a manager of salespeople, as a guy who's gotten pitched by salespeople in marketing meetings. Whatever it is, whatever the million, thousand boring meetings I've been In the boringest of the boring are those who bring in a fucking PowerPoint with a picture of the ocean and you know your sales going. You know a graph that shows your sales going to the sky with a million words on it, and they sit there and read it to you. I can read. I don't need your help doing that. You got to give me some information. Like, captivate me. Give me some information. Tell me a joke. I don't care. Tell me a story about your first girlfriend. I don't give a shit. Just don't read off your PowerPoint. So I said, no, no, no, we can't do that. You just got to know this information. But the first part you got to do is you got to write it down. Like, we got to get to that point. So I gave him some bullet points. I said, who, what? When? Where? Why? Let's fill in those gaps. And I told them specifically, hey, do this. Write this about this. Give me three stories about this, and we'll start to call it, and we'll. We'll piece it together. And then. So, okay, so now we're on, like, our fourth coffee boyfriend date or whatever. And he knows that I'm a podcaster, but so far, I've avoided telling him any details about the podcast. But then yesterday, he's like, so tell me about this podcast. What's it's called? And I was like, oh, here we go. My coffee boyfriend's gonna break up with me. I'll never hear from him again. It's all over. This show is called the Ezra Klein show with Brian Green. Smartlist. Yes, Smartlist. That's the Conan o'. Brien. And so I had to pull it up, and he was like, kind of newbie podcast. He didn't know exactly how to get it all done. I don't think he listens. He doesn't listen to podcasts. So he had an iPhone, but he didn't even have the podcast app down there.

[Chrissy Joy]

He had to do that same thing with people. Yeah.

[Brian Gray]

So I had to download it, and then, you know, I can't avoid it. What am I going to do now? I'm really on the spot. I got to actually show the guy that I have a podcast and that this is the podcast, and then I have to press follow so that he can go listen to it. And I'm like, oh, dear God. So I haven't heard from him since. But, you know, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the coffee boyfriend relationship continues. He's a fascinating guy. I. I find him really Interesting. You know, it's. I was at a. Let me tell you a story, and I'll see if you agree with this. I was at a bar in my early 30s. I got invited to, like, a party. I didn't know many people there. It was a birthday party. And one of our mutual friends, one of our smelly mutual friends invited me to, like, glom on to a birthday party he was glomming on to as they were bar hopping. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, no one was really invited. We just happened to be following these people around kind of.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah. He's like, if this person's gonna happen to be there having. Celebrating a birthday.

[Brian Gray]

Yes. One of my. This is how it goes. One of my friends. Friend's friend was celebrating a birthday. So I'm like five friend circles removed from this. And this girl is turning. I don't. Let's just say 28. I don't know how. I don't remember, but she was like, in her late 20s, if I remember the story correctly. And so I. It's Friday night. Whatever. Okay, cool. I come out to the first bar and, you know, saying hi. But I can already tell that people don't know who I am. They have no idea why I'm here. Why are you at this girl's birthday party? Why is your friend at this birthday's party? Why is your friend's friend at this birthday party? And then how did you get to the birthday party? I'm just trying my best to, like, navigate the uncomfortable waters of a new social situation. You know, like, oh, hey, whenever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I buddy up with a couple of. Of the girls that were at the party, right? And I just start cheating and chat, making small talk, and then we move on to the next bar. And now we're. Everyone's in the cups a little bit. We're all having fun, and one of the girls and I are sitting at the bar, and she starts explaining that this is. I'm like, so how do you know these people? She says, well, these are my friends. They've been my friends forever. And, you know, it's. I love my friends and friends are friends, and everyone's friends and friends. And I'm like, oh, yeah. And she goes, how did you know anybody here? And I go, oh, I don't know anybody here, but I just met you. And so that's cool. Maybe I have a new friend. And I go, because when you get older, the older you get, the harder it is to make friends.

[Chrissy Joy]

True.

[Brian Gray]

And she instantly turned on me. We were, like, having a great time, laughing and joking. And I wasn't, like, hitting on her. Like, it wasn't that kind of vibe. It was just like, we were just being funny and laughing and joking. And she goes, well, that's a shitty thing to say, and it's not true. And I go, oh, well, you may have a different opinion that it's harder.

[Chrissy Joy]

To make friends later in life. Yeah.

[Brian Gray]

I said, well, you may have a different opinion. I said, but I'm a little bit older than you, so maybe you'll find out down the road that what I'm saying is true. Or maybe you won't. I don't know. It's not. I wasn't trying to, like, offend you by that. And she's like, you're saying some really shitty things. That's fucked up. That's really fud up. And I was like, okay. All right. Well, this was fun while it lasted.

[Chrissy Joy]

I thought I had a friend here, and now I don't.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah, I thought we had. I thought finally I was getting comfortable with the 20 strangers. I just walked into the birthday party, and now I've ostracized myself completely from the group, as I tend to do. And I'm like, okay, maybe that's why it's hard to make friends. It's cause I say hot button stuff like you have. It's harder to get friends when you're older. I don't know. Anyway, it turned, like, sour super fast. And I was like, whoa, okay, the vibe just turned. Maybe it was because she was drinking. Maybe that's just who she was, and I didn't know her. I don't know. But okay, so now I'm like, all right. So I get up from the. You know, eventually I just get up and I'm like, okay, well, good to talk to you. And I am trying to talk to other people to no effect. And now I'm feeling completely weird about the whole situation. And so I tell our smelly. I said, listen, I'm gonna go. No, no, no, stay, stay. And I'm like, listen. I'm just aware enough about myself and the world around me to know that I'm pretty much not welcome here. Like, this is not my vibe. It's not my scene. They're not looking for me to be here. The thing is, that's the same thing going on with you. You are just clueless. So you keep talking. You keep talking. They keep turning your heads. That's your whole scene. But, okay, I'm Leaving. He's like trying to convince. No, no, no, no, no. Stay, stay, stay. But I really found it to be surprising that I said something pretty uncontroversial and it turned into such a. A big deal.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah, you hit a nerve.

[Brian Gray]

I did. I hit a huge nerve. Because the truth is, in my opinion, that it does get a little bit harder as you get older to make new friends. There are less and less situations where that happens. And the older that you get, the more that people are established in their ways.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah, set in their ways. They've got their own little group of. Whether it's a partner or just a group of friends or they're just, just. They're already. They're set already.

[Brian Gray]

We're creatures of habit. We're very social when drinking and partying and situations call for it. We're very social animals and we want to buddy up and have fun and find common ground and all that. And that's true at any age. It really is. But the opportunities to do that start to wane as you get into your mid-30s. My experience. Right, because it's. It's a bad look to be like hanging out at the bar when you're like 37 years old, you know, just hanging out with the 20 year olds, you know, looking for new friends. That's called creepy. And not many people like that. And a lot of people see that. But the other thing is that, you know, it's just. There's a different vibe. So I'm excited about my coffee boyfriend because it's an opportunity I had to make a new friend. Just like when I met Jackie Beans or some of those people at the Pearl Jam concert or, you know, when I go to wherever. Wherever I go and I see someone that I like and I find them to be, there's a vibe there. I go, oh, I'm interested in this because I now know and I now see that the opportunities are few and far between. So when you make them take them.

[Chrissy Joy]

In other words, you do have the 30 children. So that is an opportunity there with the parents.

[Brian Gray]

Yes, it is. But they also know about the commercial bike. Astrid was like, at a school function for one of my kids. And this is a new school to us. It's our first year there. And when we did the paperwork for the school, Astrid put my TCB podcast email, and we didn't know that they were going to disseminate that email far and wide. I told this story. Yes. That one time. Yeah. Somebody sent an email and they copied everybody in the entire grade. But they didn't blind copy, they just copied. And so everybody's email address was available. And so we did what everybody else does. You go and you look and you see what everybody's up to at their specific companies or extensions or whatever. It's just curiosity. Right. And so. And we knew instantaneously when that email came through, oh, shit, they're doing the same to us. I mean, the same thing is happening to us. So, you know, Astrid was at the school function, and then they were talking with this other mom at the school, and she goes, so what do you guys do?

[Chrissy Joy]

It's a hard thing to explain. It's a hard thing, I have to say, because some people are very receptive to it. Like, oh, that's cool. Yeah, let me check it out.

[Brian Gray]

And other people are like, huh, huh, what is that? How do you make money doing that? Well, we don't make money doing that. Yeah. Let's be clear about that first.

[Chrissy Joy]

Right.

[Brian Gray]

We make debt doing this is what we do. But the other thing is, I don't even think it's like, sometimes. Yes.

[Chrissy Joy]

Well, then it's like, it's a comedy podcast, but stand up comedy. No, it's just me and my friend talking.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. Oh, it's improv comedy. Like, I went to the dad's garage the other week. You take suggestions and you make a little skit. No, we're not that good. Improv means we have no plan whatsoever. It just all comes from the top of my tiny little mouse brain. But the part that makes me nervous is not the explaining of the podcast. I think I've figured that one out. It's the.

[Chrissy Joy]

The content of the podcast, of course.

[Brian Gray]

Of the podcast. Right. And we have long since blown by the idea that we can tailor this content. Listen, we intended for this show to go nowhere and do nothing. It was a largely a vanity project during the fucking pandemic.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah. It was something fun to do.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. So if we tell a few wild stories. If Brian tells a few wild stories. Well, most of the people who are gonna listen to it know those stories anyway, I'm just telling it with Chrissy. Right. Well, it didn't work out.

[Chrissy Joy]

Like five years later.

[Brian Gray]

Five years later, here we are. Anyway, so now everybody knows that. It's like, so I dance a little bit around the parents sometimes because, you know, I don't know.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah, you have to.

[Brian Gray]

I don't know how they feel about me. And why do I. And you say, well, that's true of anybody. Yeah, but not everybody has 800 hours of material that you can sharpen up on when you want to know about somebody. Like, if every parent at my kid's school had 800 hours of their life out there on the Internet, I could get a feel for who they were and make a decision about whether or not that's my speed. And I'm pretty sure if you Even listen to eight minutes of the 800 hours, most people are gonna be like.

[Chrissy Joy]

Oh, well, they lived under a porch.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah, they're letting those. They let those kids in. Did they really? I think, honey, I think we should think about changing schools for old Jackson.

[Chrissy Joy]

The standards are what we thought they were.

[Brian Gray]

It's just not like it was before. I thought we were sending him to a good school. Honey, have you heard this commercial break? It's terrible. It is, and it is terrible. And I can admit that.

[Chrissy Joy]

It's our terrible.

[Brian Gray]

It's our terrible. It's ours. And you know what? Anytime you create, these are ugly babies. Yeah. No one thinks their baby is ugly. And I got news for you. There are ugly babies out there. All right, let's take a break. We'll talk more about our ugly baby when we get back. You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some very heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.

[Rachel]

Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans, or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials, hecommercial break on Insta, TCB, podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axl needs food. Today is pork chop day.

[Brian Gray]

Oh, my gosh. My kids are so excited to see this new Snow White that's coming out. Especially the girls. They're excited to see Snow white, it's the 1937, Disney's first full length movie. I think one of the first color films that ever came out.

[Chrissy Joy]

Wow.

[Brian Gray]

It's the animated movie. I believe it won the Oscar for best picture. I think if I'm not mistaken, I should know this because my kids, kids are like Disney freaks and they know stuff like this. They're like, hey dad, did you know that came out in 1937? And I'm like, I did not, I did not care that much until you told me, but now I care because you care. But Snow White, this movie has been in production for like 13 years. It's been in production forever and it's had so many problems. It's hard for as an adult and I certainly don't, you know, it's hard for me to talk about, you know, anti woke culture sentiment with my 5 year old. You know, I can't talk about that kind of stuff. But this thing has been in trouble since the day it got announced.

[Chrissy Joy]

Is it animated?

[Brian Gray]

No, it's live action. Gal Gadot Rachel Ziegler plays Snow White Gal Gadot plays Maleficent Evil Queen and then it all started when Disney announced that they were not going to be or they were going to be using CGI for the, the dwarfs. They were going to call it Seven White. Seven Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. And you know, people who are in that community did not like the fact that they were using the word dwarf. And Peter Dinklage was one of the people who came out and said, hey, listen this, this is not, we don't, you know, we don't care for this essentially. And then so they changed the name to just Snow White, I think is what it is. They were going to use people with achondroplasia or dwarfism to be in the movie. And then they backed out of that and then they decided to go CGI now that all the characters are cgi. So the dwarves are the original dwarf concept. Seven, Snow White and the seven dwarfs, now they're called magical creatures instead of the seven little Dwarves. So and then there's like all this like the two girls who star in the movies, two women who star in the movie, they don't care for each other because one is Palestinian and one is Israeli. And there's been all this drama back and forth. They've both been very vocal about their own opinions about what happens. It's like a whole cluster and Disney is just like really mishandled this from the beginning. So now what?

[Chrissy Joy]

You have drama.

[Brian Gray]

Disney can't get out of its own way sometimes. Do you know what I'm saying? Wasn't there a time when we all just accepted that Disney was a company that was cool for the kids? Like, you know, oh, Disney made another animated movie. Let's go see that. That sounds good. Pixar came out with its newest film. Let's go see that. But nothing can be left alone anymore. Nothing is sacred. Everything has got to be torn apart and ripped to shreds and thrown down and thrown away. I mean, I don't. I don't know, you know, I think about the Office, so just, you know, little sharing a little information. It's likely we're going to have one of the Office stars in here at some point in the future. And so I was thinking about the Office, Not Steve Carell. Be clear about that. Not Steve Carell. But I was thinking about her role in the Office and how much I enjoyed it and how politically incorrect some of the things that they did said, you know, some of the storylines, just how brazen they seem today. But back then just kind of seemed like part and parcel of a comedy show. Like, you know, a groundbreaking comedy show, but a comedy show nonetheless. Could the Office get made in 2025? Probably not. Probably not. There would probably be a lot of people who would be upset about some of the things that they did. And then there'll be other people who are upset because those people were upset. Yeah, it's like the woke anti woke. All of this cultural, like, nonsense just seems stifling to me. It really does seem very stifling to me. Like, okay, if you go see Snow White on its merits, just you don't know anything about all the extra drama, and you walk in to the movie theater and you watch an entertaining 90 minutes of. Of film, then can't you just base your thoughts on the. And on the merits of the art rather than all of the drama around it? Because it's not like some huge, like, big deal that happened. It's just like death by a thousand paper cuts. This little drama and that little drama and this little drama, and it all adds up to a troubled production and, you know, politically charged and it can't be correct and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, I just want to go see a movie without all of that stuff. Thank God no one actually cares about the commercial break. And we don't get torn apart like that. We really don't. I mean, we have. People have told us in the past, I think one time I talked about llama rape like getting raped by a llama.

[Chrissy Joy]

Oh, you did?

[Brian Gray]

Yes, we did. But it was like a joke that I made, right? I was like, oh my God, it's like getting raped by a llama or something like that. A totally offhand, a silly, childish joke nonetheless. But it was just like an offhand Brian absurd joke. And somebody wrote us like a four page dissertation on the word why there should be a warning, trigger warning on the episode. Do you remember this?

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah, vaguely.

[Brian Gray]

She would like a trigger warning on the episode because those who have been through that type of terribly awful ordeal might get triggered by just the word alone. And I thought about it for a long time and my first reaction, my knee jerk reaction was, oh, I should do that. But then I thought to myself, then the tail's just wagging the dog. Then everything I say, then I'm. Then I'm just gonna start putting if, if that.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah, maybe we should just do a general warning.

[Brian Gray]

I do do a general warning. It's explicit. The show is explicit. It's absurd. And listen, I. There are women in my life and a man in my life who have been through that ordeal. I don't mean just no disrespect. I don't think it's a joking matter.

[Chrissy Joy]

No.

[Brian Gray]

But I was talking about a llama, a fictitious llama. Nonetheless, there is. There really was no llama that did any damage to any human being that I know of. It was like kind of just a throwaway joke. And all of a sudden I was getting this four page dissertation on it and my knee jerk, like I said, my knee jerk reaction was like, okay, let me put a trigger warning on it. But then I was like, no, just. Just listen to it on its merits. If you decide that my intentions were terrible, well then don't listen to the show. That's it. If you think that joke was made intentionally to hurt you or to make you upset, then there you go. But I can't fluff or nut or every single thing out there in the world. I just can't do it. How can I do it?

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah, you can't please everybody.

[Brian Gray]

No. And that's like. It's like I tell my kids. It's like the world is a sharp place. There's a lot of sharp elbows, kids. You got to toughen your skin a little bit, right? You gotta be a tough character to make it through life. And you know, at this. On the same, on the other side of the same coin, there is taking it too far. There is just, you know, being an idiot to be an Idiot. For an idiot's sake. But I just really want to go watch Snow White and not have all this drama.

[Chrissy Joy]

But you don't have to listen to the drama.

[Brian Gray]

I know, but I feel like that people are going to be judging me. Like I'm going to watch.

[Chrissy Joy]

I want to see Snow White.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. I'm going to walk into the theater and people are going to be taking pictures, bragging from the commercial break. Supports anti Wokeism.

[Jeannie Liu]

What?

[Brian Gray]

Oh, I just want to go see.

[Chrissy Joy]

Protesting it.

[Brian Gray]

Brian Green doesn't like. I don't know. Of course there's going to be some moron out there who's protesting it. Yes. There's going to be chatter online and morons protesting and people being upset. And you support anti, you know, little people. No, I'm the biggest supporter.

[Chrissy Joy]

You are the Seven Little Johnson.

[Brian Gray]

Seven Little Johnston.

[Chrissy Joy]

Favorite show.

[Brian Gray]

Big Little Family. I watch it all. I love it. I'm all about it. Those Seven Little Johnstons. I love that show. I just, I know it's so formulaic, but I love it. There's so much drama. And the, The. Here's the part that gets me about the Seven Little Johnsons. I know you probably. I'm sure a lot of people do watch this show, and me included. But let me explain. Seven Little Johnsons. The reason why they call it the Seven Little Johnsons is because there's seven little people in the family. They are. They all have some form, I think, of achondroplasia, which is the most common form of dwarfism or. Or things that make people. I think that's what they call it, dwarfism. And they had two of their children naturally. Two. Two of their children naturally. And then 1, 2, 3, 4. And then is it two of their children naturally? I'm just trying to make. I want to make sure I get it right. Anyway, a couple of their children naturally. And then they had a couple of their children they adopted from other places. Three of their children they adopted from other places. Russia, China, and then I think Vietnam or the Philippines or something like that. But I mean, what a.

[Chrissy Joy]

That was nice.

[Brian Gray]

What a gift, right? What a gift. And they had medical problems and no family and all this other stuff. And they go over there and they bring them here and they say, not only are we going to raise you, but you're going to raise you in an environment where you're going to be comfortable because everybody else is like you. Right? What a gift. What a gift.

[Chrissy Joy]

And on tv.

[Brian Gray]

And on tv. That's it. And you got to imagine that that TV has changed their life in so many ways. They're on season number 15. But here's the part that gets me, is that they really do not shy away from talking about any of the drama going on in the family, including problems with their kids. Like, problems you. Those kids would probably rather not have the entire world watching. And yet they do not shy away one bit, those parents, from talking about, like, the kids, like, in the cutaways, you know, the confessionals.

[Chrissy Joy]

Right, right.

[Brian Gray]

They talk about those children in ways that I'm like, oh, my God, if my parents were talking about me like that, I would be mortified. Mortified. But yet that train keeps on going. It's these parents. They just don't shut up. And I am. This last episode, I was floored. Floored. One of the girls in the family is having trouble with the family. She was adopted, and she is. Her behavior is not to the liking of the parents, but she's like 24 years old, but it's not to the liking of the parents. And the parents are like, we will not give up on our children, but we will not give in. And if she's. She's acting like this for attention, and you know what? We're not giving it to her. She can be a baby. She can go off in the corner and cry. We're not giving her the attention she is seeking. It's too dramatic. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, imagine being that child walking through life and the whole world is like, oh, your parents think you're an idiot. Like that. It's hard enough that she's having trouble with the family and that the parents are talking shit in the confessionals.

[Chrissy Joy]

I know God well, but the girl, the child is 24.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. She's. She lives on her own.

[Chrissy Joy]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. But still, I mean, she. 15 seasons. Like, she was a kid when it started. Like, she's the child. But this is not the first or the last time this has happened. Those parents are so intimately involved with every aspect of their children's life. They are smothering these children. Smothering them. And I realize it's a tough world out there, and tough love sometimes works. And. Okay, beat tough love. But, man, are you really involved with your kids? One of the guy. I think I told this story. One of the kids, Jonah had. He smoked some K2 fucking the Y Brian 3000 bullshit, and he went off into outer space, and they had a scary incident where they couldn't find him, and he was lost. And then finally, you know, everything got Settled down. They went to his apartment, packed him up, and moved him back home. And he's like 21 years old. 20, 21 years old. They moved him back home. And then they talk all about it on the show. He's not responsible enough to live on his own. He couldn't make it. We gotta stay on Jonah. We have to wake him up every morning. He won't even wake up on his own. We have to get him up for work. We have to make sure he, you know, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, oh, my God. As if life isn't tough enough.

[Chrissy Joy]

Well, yeah. Too much.

[Brian Gray]

Yes. And then. And then in this same storyline, so this guy, this kid Jonah, is dating a girl in another state or wherever she lives. I think she lives in another state. And the parents decide that she's not good for him. The relationship's not good for him. So she sits them down together. The parents sit them down together and they say, this isn't working. You two can't be together. And then they read text messages from Jonah's phone to and from each other and point out that Jonah was lying to the girlfriend.

[Chrissy Joy]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Gray]

When he was sending these text messages. But this is all shown on the television show. And I'm like, yeah, I. Parenting is tough, man. It is fucking tough. My kids aren't even close to that age yet. But I'm like, I was this kid. If my dad had a confessional on a reality television show and had the kind of willingness to talk about it that these parents do, I would. I would not have made it past 18 years old. I would have fled to Russia. It is unbelievable.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah, well, that's like. Who were the other ones? The Kate plus eight or whatever?

[Brian Gray]

Gate plus eight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chrissy Joy]

Well, what was. What were the name. Was that the original name of the show, though? I think it became Kate plus eight.

[Brian Gray]

No, it's Kate plus eight. And then it was Kate and whatever.

[Chrissy Joy]

Those kids got pretty damaged, I think, from growing up.

[Brian Gray]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They got damaged from growing up on tv, and then they got damaged by Kate. Because, Kate, listen, when you have eight kids that are all the same age, I think it was six that were the same age and two that were a different age. Forget about it. I mean, you're going to have to run that place like a military school just to maintain some sense of sanity. But Kate really played the role very well of military parent, and I think that damaged those children because there was just not. They didn't feel a lot of love and if you ever watched Kate, I mean, she wasn't an extremely loving person, yet she was.

[Chrissy Joy]

There was, like, a documentary on that, I think, that I watched.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah, it was a documentary, was called Kate Plus 8. Just watch it and you'll see it. Yeah, but I mean, I guess at the end of the day, like, these parents must feel that this might help some other parents by providing this information. Of course. That's it. That's how the. I. I can hear the conversations going on now. You got to include this because this will help other parents make sure that their kids don't do K2. Well, no, nothing. First of all, there's no one cares, ever. All the kids are doing K2. They're not going to be stopped because Jonah did it. Right. Second of all, the only people that are really learning a lesson from this are the children who are desperately trying to have their parents back. And not television stars that want to.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Gray]

That believe that everything is good fodder. I'm not in their shoes. I don't want to make snap judgment calls. But it just seems to me that after years of watching this television show and getting more and more intrusive on these children's lives, good, bad, and indifferent, that during the really tough times of their lives, maybe there's some stuff that just shouldn't be on camera. Maybe there's some conversations where you could just be like, you know, if Jonah wanted to say something, he could go on and he'd say, listen, I smoked some K2. I had a really scary incident. My parents were there for me. We all figured it out. I'm getting better. I'm working on myself, and leave it alone. It's a message that everybody can understand, but it doesn't. It's not all the intricate details and how the parents are handling it and talking shit about their own kid. And I understand they're gonna. Their argument's gonna be, I'm not talking shit. I'm just telling you how it was. Well, yeah, but it sounds like you're talking shit because when you're on a reality television show, that. That's what you do. You create drama and you talk shit. You think the reality. You think of the Housewives of Atlanta. I think the producers there are like, oh, you better. We better show this. It's good for society. That's worse. It's bad for society. It's terrible. Poor Jonah. Free Jonah.

[Chrissy Joy]

You're invested and free Anna.

[Brian Gray]

The thing is, I'm really not. I keep it on when I'm editing in the background. But I just hear this stuff and it drives me batty. I'm like, geez, you two parents settle down just a little bit? Like keep something for the dinner table. You gotta do that. Please keep something for the dinner table. Please, please, please. These parents are so up the asses of the children that when their daughter got pregnant, she did not tell them until she was six and a half months alone.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Gray]

She was so afraid of what they were going to say, probably what they were going to say to the fucking cameras that she decided not to mention she was pregnant.

[Chrissy Joy]

That's smart.

[Brian Gray]

She's got achondroplasia and she's pregnant and she's not saying a fucking word for six and a half months.

[Chrissy Joy]

She's guarded.

[Brian Gray]

That's right. She has learned that anything, everything is on the table.

[Chrissy Joy]

Exactly. Nothing sacred.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. And I don't want to have anything to do with it. And what do they do? They turn that pregnancy into a whole season worth of storyline. But they probably got paid for it, you know what I'm saying? I mean there's the, there's the flip side. When you're on season number 15, I imagine everyone's getting 15, $20,000 an episode. You make 15 episodes in a season, you're getting 300 grand for making a television show. Ye, yeah. I'd talk shit about you all day long if I got 300 grand. Yeah, I would. I don't care. Bring those cameras in here.

[Chrissy Joy]

That's okay.

[Brian Gray]

Pee pee poo poo everywhere. I want to film every bit of my daughter's potty training and talk about how my kid won't clean up his room. I'll do that, all of it. For 300,000. Money changes everything. And you don't want to let go of that sweet, sweet fame, you know?

[Chrissy Joy]

Hey, listen, get addicted to it.

[Brian Gray]

It's got to be much easier to walk through life when you have a condition that people may see as a detriment. But when you're famous, you know, it turns the tables a little bit. And I would. I'm not saying that's why they do it. I'm saying that I bet that factors in. It factors in, in some way. And that gives you some leverage on the world that you otherwise don't have. And that I can't. You can never fault someone for using their God given abilities to get a little leverage in this world because I just said it. But life is tough. It's full of sharp elbows, sharp corners and dull landings. It's just like, you know, you gotta do Whatever you can do to get ahead in life. That's your PSA for today. And now you know. And now you know. And now you. I know. I was looking for my chimes.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Brian Gray]

And now, you know, still have the seven Little Johnsons. Still have any one of them on the, on the program. If you want to come on, Jonah.

[Chrissy Joy]

Talk to our people.

[Brian Gray]

What's that?

[Chrissy Joy]

Talk to our people about that.

[Brian Gray]

It's a TLC show and TLC locks their talent down pretty good. I don't think they have the. I don't think they have the freedom to do that kind of stuff. I think other television shows and programs, they encourage that kind of promotion, but I think TLC keeps that promotion to themselves. They promote it. They don't want anybody talking about storylines. They don't want things going sideways outside of their control. So those, you know, seven little Johnson's 90 day fiance, all that stuff, we have asked for some of those people to come on when things get hot and heavy on the show. And it's like radio silence or one time we had a response. Not allowed by contract. And so, you know, interesting. Hey, listen, I guess we'll just have to take really famous comedians. That'll be our lot in life and we'll accept it. Yes, we will also. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker. And we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

[Brian Gray]

Gotta get off the stuff. All the. Gotta get all the stuff off the table or Astrid gets mad at us. So just letting you know she's mad. She gets mad. We don't want Astrid mad at us because you get to go home. But I have to sit here and stew in it.

[Chrissy Joy]

That's true.

[Brian Gray]

You get the easy route. You have to go home. Jeff doesn't bitch at you about stuff in the studio. No, because all he sees is this. He doesn't see all this Five Hour Energy, which is one of our sponsors, and we love Five Hour Energy, but I think I mentioned that they sent us some Five Hour Energy. When I say some, I mean a lot of Five Hour energy. A whole shitload of five hours. Yeah. And Astrid was like, what is all this Five Hour Energy doing here? And I'm like, well, I don't think I could get through this in a lifetime. It's just sitting here. She. Get rid of it. Looks clunky. And I'm like, it's not on camera. And she's like, I'm not talking about the camera. I'm talking. I'm like, get rid of it. What are you, a mafia boss?

[Chrissy Joy]

Take care of me.

[Brian Gray]

You come here to my house with your Five Hour Energy. You clunk it up.

[Chrissy Joy]

I contributed.

[Brian Gray]

Get rid of it. Yes, you did. I said it was Hoadley's fault. But no matter how I try, I cannot divert attention to you, Chrissy. You'll always be the angel in this situation. Yeah, but that's because Astrid knows me. She knows me too well. She knows I'm trying to pawn all of this off on you. All right. A few things I just want to tick through to get it out. It was International Women's Day a couple of weeks ago.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yes.

[Brian Gray]

Merry Christmas and all that jazz to all the women in my life. Thank God. Thank God, thank God. Thank God for women.

[Chrissy Joy]

Women are important.

[Brian Gray]

They are very important. Well, some might argue more important than men. Some might argue that one day women will decide we no longer need men and that we'll just do this on our own. And to that, I say, yay. Just let me hang out for a couple more years. Yeah, I just want to come.

[Chrissy Joy]

We'll keep you around.

[Brian Gray]

Let me raise my kids. I'm pretty benign. I'm not going to hurt anybody. You know, you can keep me around. I'll do funny stuff. I'm like a jester. I can just dance around.

[Chrissy Joy]

Now be funny.

[Brian Gray]

Now be funny. Yakka yakka yaka. But yes, I will say I am. Love the women in my life. Y' all are wonderful. I. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm in love with the female form. What else can I say? If my Instagram algorithm isn't a testament to how much I love the female form, that I don't know what is I'm just enamored with the. I'm enamored with all of you. So congratulations.

[Chrissy Joy]

Oh, well, thanks.

[Brian Gray]

And I will also say congratulations, and I will also say, on a more serious note, 95, 94 to 95%. And this is an actual statistic of all rapists will never spend a day in jail. And that is terrible. And so, yes.

[Chrissy Joy]

Why did you just say that?

[Brian Gray]

I'm saying this for this reason, because while we may not be able to change the court system or the way that any of that stuff goes down, as men, as part of that group, the men, we have an opportunity to make it unacceptable in the culture for that kind of violence, any kind of violence to happen against our fairer sex. And that's just. The truth is because if there's 10 guys in a room, one of them's an idiot. And if we continue to look the other way or not say anything, then we might as well be idiots, too. Then we are the useful idiots who don't say anything, who don't hold people to task. So I will share that this was a shocking statistic that I read that came up on my Instagram.

[Chrissy Joy]

Very shocking.

[Brian Gray]

I Googled it. It's true. And. And it's terrible. And so while it's out of our control to hold the gavel, most of us will never be judges. Thank God I'm not a judge. I will share that as a culture, as the men, as a culture, we can teach the other young men in our culture and we can share with the other guys in our lives that this is not acceptable. And if we know that it's happening or we know it happened, or we think that someone might be prone to that kind of action, we can take action. I don't know what that looks like, but you will in that situation. I'm not condoning violence, but I'm just saying that it starts with us. It starts in the home, and then it starts in the community, and then it starts in friendship circles. It's, you know, it's everywhere. It's pervasive. And, yeah, that's. That's what I have to say about that. Okay. I also read an interesting article, Chrissy, about music singularity and how we are getting closer and closer to music singularity. And this really makes me very sad. Let me share what music singularity is. If you listen to A. And I, we just talked about this, like, a month ago on the show. If you listen to a rap song, a pop song, a rock song, and a country song, right now, it's likely you'll find very similar elements in all of them. They all have same hooks. They all are starting to sound much more alike. The instrumentation, the way that the songs are composed, even the notes that they use. And here's the reason. Because the algorithm is determining what sounds good to us. The algorithm being Spotify and other places. And so what happens? Well, when an artist goes to make music and they get, you know, half a million listens on song A, but then they make a song that sounds like every other song that's out there, song B, and they get 10 million listens, they're likely to make song B over and over again, catering to the algorithm, which is essentially just pulling all of that music together into one smaller bucket. And it all sounds alike.

[Chrissy Joy]

But how has that been going on throughout the years, though? I mean, there were. There was a sound of the 50s, sounds of the 60s, the different artists. I mean, it's kind of trendy, right?

[Brian Gray]

Well, I think there's a difference. But yes, there's the sound of the. The 50s or 60s, which is like, you know, Phil Spector sound, right? Doubling up on the drums and the bass and the echo and all this other stuff. But that was a Phil Spector sound. But Marvin Gaye did not sound too much like Creedence Clearwater Revival, did not sound too much like Jimi Hendrix. I mean, there were certain elements. I'm sure that you could find some connection there. What I'm talking about is, like, the music is actually starting a lot to sound. It's starting to sound a lot like each other, like a country. A good country song right now sounds a lot like a good pop record, sounds a lot like a good rock record, sounds a lot like a good, you know, R and B or rap record. They're all starting to sound the same. And the musicality of it is starting to sound the same. And so while it may have maybe, maybe this is a long time coming, AI and the algorithm are speeding this up. And this is like, people are out there, like scientists. Like, music scientists are out there determining.

[Chrissy Joy]

Like they're saying, music scientists.

[Brian Gray]

There are music scientists, okay? The music theory is the science of music. Music theory is the science of music. And I guarantee it's a class you could probably, probably never pass. That shit is really tough to understand. But this. This has been going on for a long time, and these algorithms are accelerating it, and everything is starting to sound very much alike. Like the. The. The music that is current. That's current. That's. Yeah, that's moving the needle that's current and that it's popular is very much all starting to sound the same. And since it's scientifically proven the music singularity doesn't sound like a good thing to me. I don't want all the songs to sound alike. I want a large, diverse pot to pick from. And when 33P was around, there was no music singularity there. I guarantee you that was unlike anything you've ever heard before.

[Jeannie Liu]

Yes.

[Brian Gray]

There was the worst of ways.

[Chrissy Joy]

It was unique.

[Brian Gray]

Yes.

[Chrissy Joy]

I mean, I still feel like there's gonna be people, artists that want to make own thing and that will be found. Yes. Will it be topping the charts? No, but I mean, not everybody likes the chart toppers.

[Brian Gray]

Yes, of course, listen, there's always going to be the people who buck the trend. But will. Will they be. Hold on one second, hold on. I want to give you a definition of this so you'll.

[Chrissy Joy]

Well, I've heard too, about how eventually there's not going to be a way you can play songs. I mean, you can come up with anything new. Is that true?

[Brian Gray]

Oh, yeah. That's also music theory. And it is true. There is no combination of notes. Well, there are infinite. I mean, there are like billions and billions and trillions of ways that you can put notes together. But there are only so many notes in a scale and there are so many minor and major notes inside of there. And then, you know, the other notes that are on top of that, and there are only so many combinations of those. So eventually all of them will have been played. I don't know if that's happened yet, but all of them will be played. And that's something you're taught like very early. Like in. I learned that in band, like there are only so many combinations, these ways they can be played. So when people say that that chord progression sounds like this chord progression. Of course it does. Especially like in rock and roll. There's only like six different chord progressions you can really toy around with. And they. Yeah, they all start to sound the same. But if you can orchestrate them in different ways and overlay instruments and songs and I mean, in vocals and lyrics and whatever else, you know, sound effects on top of those, you can make it sound different enough that it's original. The term musical singularity, recognized as a scientific concept, is sometimes used to describe when artificial intelligence or machine learning will bring music to a point, to a level that is in that where the music is indistinguishable from the next song. So technologically, it just starts to homogenize itself. And everyone's chasing after those listeners. And in order to do that, you have to make a song that loves the out that the algorithm loves. And it has to sound like the last song that the algorithm loved, and so on and so forth. It's just a terrible terror as far as I'm concerned. This sounds like a terrible thing and I'm not interested. And I'm thinking about getting the band back together.

[Chrissy Joy]

You should.

[Brian Gray]

So we can show the world what some original music sounds like.

[Chrissy Joy]

That was unique.

[Brian Gray]

That's right. Who was that? Westmoreland. I do. Who was that guy? Was that Wesmoreland? Not Westmoreland. Wes Scantlin. Okay, hold on one second. Wes Scantalin. Nirvana. Oh, now I have to play this, Chrissy? Because it's got. It's in my head now and I gotta go for it.

[Chrissy Joy]

Gotta get it out.

[Brian Gray]

Yes. Okay, here we go. Ready. With candle wield. God, what a nightmare, Wes. What a nightmare, my friend. I mean, I realize my cover of Rage against the Machine wasn't that much better than your cover of Nirvana, but it was a little bit better. And see, that's what I'm talking about. That's a diverse range of shitty music you have to pick from. We gotta keep that going, kids. Listen to new music, find independent artists, go to the venues and watch them. I was watching this video the other day about the music business, which is just a total shit show right now. Total shit show. I don't need to tell you this. Jeff must know this inside and out. But I was watching this video where this manager of local band, like local up and coming bands, but he puts out a lot of YouTube stuff. He's well known. He's like, you know, talks. Talks a good talk. And I'm sure he walks a good walk. But anyway, I've seen a lot of his videos and he was saying in today's episode of the Music Business is a Shit Show. I want to tell you a story about another manager that I know. That manager started putting posts on his Instagram where he, one of his bands was selling out four and 500 seat venues. And I knew this band and I couldn't believe that this band was selling out four or five seat venues, let alone 400 or 500 seats. So I sent him a message and I said, hey, what's up, brother? I see that you sold out these 10 shows. That's. That's great. Like, how did you go from not even having anybody show up at your shows to selling out these four or five hundred Seat venues. And he. He, as an example, he said that the band themselves only had like a couple hundred Instagram followers. That's worse than the commercial break. I mean, it's hard to fill in. And we know it's hard to fill any seats. Seats when you have that kind of traction. And the manager told him, he said, yes, I actually bought the tickets, and I have seat fillers going to the shows. Seat fillers being people who just get free tickets and they go and they show up and they agree to stay for the whole. You know, they agree to stay for some period of time or whatever. And the big labels took notice to me, to the band selling out those 10 shows so quickly. And now they're opening up, up for a major rock act in their next tour of Europe and North America. They got signed to do that gig, and I was like, holy fucking fraudsters. Like, I mean, holy fucking craziness. Now, listen, fake it till you make it all that good stuff. Some people are going to call this a really ingenious way of manufacturing some interest in the band. And other people are going to say, that's total bullshit. I don't know, whatever you call it. It sounds crazy to me that you can say that, that, that worked. That, that worked.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah, I mean, I guess it's too, like the fake followers, that kind of thing.

[Brian Gray]

Fake followers.

[Chrissy Joy]

And then people, then brands notice that, and then they want them to sponsor their stuff or whatever.

[Brian Gray]

Yes. There's a. There's a person that I know that, you know, there's. I don't know, there's a bunch of 550,000 people follow this person, and there's not like two comments on any of their posts. And it's like, okay, all right, so where are the 550,000 people? Where did they go? What are they doing? And then there's some. Where you look at, you know, there's like some LinkedIn stuff that I've seen where it's like, the engagement is so clearly manufactured by artificial intelligence.

[Chrissy Joy]

Right.

[Brian Gray]

It's like sometimes we get comments, random comments, and I know that they're bots on our Instagram or our YouTube because it's stuff like great information. Yeah, I use. I use this information on purpose, you know, so informative. It's like, so informative, and it's just so clear. But that doesn't. We didn't get called by a major record label asking us to open up for somebody. And that's the disappointing part, is that, why can't we do that? Chrissy, next time we go out on tour. Next time we go out on tour. I say next time. The first time we go out on tour, you and I are getting seat fillers. We should do that. We should have our agent pay for seat fillers and have them clap for us.

[Chrissy Joy]

We don't have the money.

[Brian Gray]

I know, but we'll make it back once we get. Once we open up for Smartless on their next tour. You know what I'm saying? You don't know what I'm saying. I got a whole plan for this. I'm going to get people to sit in the front row, fill out. I'm going to rent the Fox Theater. We're going to pay $160,000 to get all of those seats filled. We're going to have everybody that we love and we know show up there. We're going to put on one terribly mediocre show. But we paid everybody to clap. And then everyone's going to take notice of us. It's a PR stunt, years in the making, but it'll be fantastic. And then I'm going to come out and do my Lords of Acid Dance.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yes, you are. The no dance. The body dance.

[Brian Gray]

The body dance. The body double dance. We're going to call it the body Body double dance. All right. All right.

[Chrissy Joy]

Depressing statistics and things there.

[Brian Gray]

Yeah. Thanks. Can't all be shits and giggles. Yeah. I had to talk about that stat that I heard on International Women's Day that was.

[Chrissy Joy]

That's awful.

[Brian Gray]

It is awful. It's awful. It's. It's depressing, as a matter of fact. Yeah. Yes. But we should be talking about it like people should be talking about this. How is that even possible? How is it even possible? And the music singularity is not as depressing, but it's kind of depressing when you think about it.

[Chrissy Joy]

Yeah.

[Brian Gray]

It's just so hard for everybody for people to make a living doing music anymore that it dissuades good musicians from making music for a living because we don't pay attention to them because they can't be paid attention to. There's nowhere for them to go. There's no mtv. There's no radio. All of the music apps are just gamed algorithms.

[Chrissy Joy]

Maybe we should start something here on the commercial break.

[Brian Gray]

I thought about it for a long time. Having, like a local regional band come.

[Chrissy Joy]

In and play in our studio.

[Brian Gray]

No. Yeah. Right there in front of us in that 3 by 3 foot open, available area outside. All the wires, cameras, televisions, lights, pay them in. Yeah. And five hour energy. We'll give them some five hour energy.

[Chrissy Joy]

It says energized on the side of it.

[Brian Gray]

Oh, there you go. Five hour energized. No. I was gonna have him pipe through the tv, but then I decided that we can't even get one person with a headset right. How are we to going get multiple microphones connected to one line that goes in? It just became a big ordeal. But I will tell you this. If you are a musician and you do play music and it's good, that's okay. And you permit us to play that music here on air, I would consider doing that. I would consider sampling some stuff just so people can find out what's good and what's out there. So there you go. We just. I just burst an idea. Here it is. If you want your music on the commercial break, send it to me with a note giving me permission to play it. TCPodcast.com is the website. All the audio, all the video and your free swag at the commercial break on Instagram 212-433-3822. Text me comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas, and YouTube.com/the commercial break. Okay, Kristi, that's all I can do for today.

[Chrissy Joy]

I think so.

[Brian Gray]

I'll tell you that I love you.

[Chrissy Joy]

I love you.

[Brian Gray]

Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christy and I will say, we do say and we must say good.

[Chrissy Joy]

Goodbye.

[Brian Gray]

Ram. It.