Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!

Summary

---

The Commercial Break – “Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!”

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Date: February 28, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break delivers another dose of freewheeling, irreverent comedy as Bryan and Krissy riff on the chaos of doomsday headlines, government dysfunction, and the enduring bafflement of online “pickup artist” (PUA) coaches. The conversation zigzags from mock existential dread to savage takedowns of snake-oil dating gurus—all in the signature TCB style: tangential, self-aware, and gleefully unserious. Their recurring punchline: “Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera,” becomes the episode’s running joke as they dissect and lampoon the mumbo-jumbo of internet PUAs.

---

Main Discussion Themes

1. Doomsday Asteroid Scare & Apocalypse Plans

[02:10–13:50]

• Bryan recounts his recent anxiety about news of “asteroid YR24,” initially reported to have a small risk of striking Earth. He imagines the collective hysteria if we really knew the world was ending:

  “If someone came on the television today and said, '…Asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we're all fucked…’ it wouldn't take 24 hours before everybody was going loony fucking tune around the world.” (06:37)

• They ponder what they’d do with six years left on Earth, with suggestions ranging from wild abandon (“spend the rest of my money, buy Bitcoin, create an NFT,” [06:05]) to family bucket lists (“I’d probably take the kids to Disney a couple times,” [10:24]).

• This spins out into a mix of dark humor and nihilistic speculation—would people even keep society running, or would it devolve instantly?

  “What about the people making these places special… If our money's gonna be no good, why am I working?” (12:15)

2. Would You Want to Know Your Death Date?

[13:02–16:10]

• Bryan and Krissy discuss hypotheticals about knowing the date of your death.

  • Both agree “no,” but Krissy jokes, “You could plan your party!” (13:34)
  • Bryan pushes for a funeral-as-party:

    “Just have a party. That’s all I’m asking. Don’t make a stink.” (13:41)

• The segment quickly devolves into their trademarked comedic riffing on Instagram inspiration, funeral entertainment, and changing the “secret password” for communicating from the afterlife.

3. Skepticism Over News and Government Bureaucrats

[16:27–22:15]

• Bryan speculates about manipulated narratives and “accelerationism,” referencing how government agencies might downplay risks to keep society calm.
• They joke about layoffs in government, how essential some “boring” jobs are, and the struggle between big and small government.
• Notable Quote:

  "Lifelong public servants and bureaucrats sometimes do serve a purpose... all those little small things end up being big things." (17:51)

4. “Accelerationism” and Leadership Dysfunction

[19:40–22:15]

• Bryan explain “accelerationism” (the theory that some powerful people might want society to collapse to build a new AI-driven regime).
• References current events, government firings, and Musk’s inability to get a security clearance/intense speculation about who’s really steering things.
• Memorable: “There is more organization at Commercial Break LLC than there is in the current administration, and that is saying something...” (21:38)

---

Featured Segment: Pickup Artist (PUA) Mockery

[23:19–57:57]

A Major Segment of This Episode—Hilariously Skewering Online Pickup Artists

1. Instagram’s Bizarre Algorithm

[23:19–26:07]

• Bryan describes a viral meme about Instagram serving up swimsuit models to every dude, regardless of their search history.

  “If you’re into bikinis and crazy people, you’re gonna love my search history…” (23:34)

2. Introduction of “Ryan”—Las Vegas’s #1 Dating Coach

[26:29–40:27]

• Bryan & Krissy introduce Ryan, a PUA coach with “master” status (self-anointed), who presents a PowerPoint bootcamp on seducing women.
• Running gags:
  • “No wife, happy life” T-shirt (27:02)
  • Endless, unreadable PowerPoint slides filled with “etc., etc., etc.”
  • The “Diamond Package” ($479 for 8 hours of seduction coaching, down from $1,999.99)

Memorable Quote:

“...putting every word you were going to say on a PowerPoint presentation. Reading your PowerPoint is the best way to give a presentation.” (29:28)

3. Bootcamp Mechanics: Absurdity in Action

[31:03–40:27]

• Ryan’s “infield training” is dissected: sketching football-style Xs and Os for “approaching the target,” with his role reduced to “rovering around” the mall (32:06).
• Demonstrating painfully bland openers and showing “live” mall footage—Bryan notes the clients are hopelessly outclassed (“There is zero chance this guy is gonna walk away with any of these girls’ phone numbers. They’re entirely too young and pretty.” [46:50])

4. Metaphor Mayhem and “Et Cetera” Mania

[41:52–57:13]

• Ryan leans on metaphors comparing dating to baking cakes and building houses, always punctuating with “etc., etc., etc.” (“Let me give you a metaphor, Chrissy. I am the chef. I work at a Cheesecake Factory…” [53:12])
• Bryan and Krissy brutalize how customer service workers (mall kiosks, etc.) are clearly paid to be nice and shouldn’t be “targets” in this context.

Notable Quotes:

“It isn’t a fucking IKEA chair you gotta build. It’s going out there and being social…” (50:16)

“You just gotta do what you gotta do. It is what it is. The heart wants with the heart wants…” (16:01)

“If your PUA skills are anything like your meeting skills, do not buy this class.” (40:27)

Most Recurring Gag

• The phrase “et cetera, et cetera, et cetera” is repeated both in parody and genuine bafflement at the PUA coach’s reliance on filler words.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Bryan, on asteroid panic:
  “If someone came on the television today and said… asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we’re all fucked… it wouldn’t take 24 hours before everybody was going loony…” (06:36)

• Krissy, on funeral plans:
  “You could plan your party.” (13:34)

• Bryan, on the episode’s namesake:
  “And you, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.” (51:08)

• PUA Coach Ryan, relentless in training metaphors:
  “After our training… just like me being a master chef, or cook, or baker, etcetera.” (46:55)

• Bryan, summarizing the PUA method:
  "I will instruct you on how to be exactly who you are not." (44:48)

• Krissy, on girls at the mall:
  “That looks like that did not produce anything.” (45:32)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 – Opening parody ad spot
• 02:10 – Asteroid scare, apocalypse riffing
• 06:36 – Societal breakdown hypotheticals
• 13:02 – Death date thought experiment, funeral jokes
• 16:27 – Government layoffs, “accelerationism,” skepticism
• 23:19 – Transition to mocking Instagram’s “horny for men” algorithm
• 26:29 – Introduction of Ryan, Las Vegas PUA coach
• 31:03 – Demonstration of a PUA “approach”
• 42:52 – Return from break, critical PowerPoint feedback
• 46:50 – Real-time breakdown of the PUA’s mall “infield footage”
• 51:08 – “Et cetera” as a running theme and punchline
• 53:12 – Metaphor tangent (Cheesecake Factory chef bit)
• 57:13 – Final summary of the PUA experience
• 59:21 – Episode wrap-up and self-mockery

---

Episode Tone & Vibe

• Loose, highly improvisational
• Self-aware, satirical, and intentionally unpolished
• Heavy on running jokes and callbacks
• Friendly banter with breaks for wild tangents and absurdity
• Mocking but not malicious—a comedic takedown of online hustle culture

---

Summary

In this episode, Bryan and Krissy of The Commercial Break drag listeners on a hilarious whirlwind through apocalyptic anxiety, government dysfunction, and their favorite comedic target: the hapless, jargon-choked world of online pickup artists. With “et cetera, et cetera, et cetera” as both mantra and punchline, they puncture the pretensions of relationship gurus selling “diamond packages” and mock the algorithmic nudges of modern life. True to its “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts” reputation, this episode careens from cosmic terror to franchise funeral parties to the mall food court, always with a wink, a groan, and a reminder that, in the end, it’s all “just FINE.”

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Back by popular demand and for one night only, Crabapple's number one Michael Jackson impersonator, Corey Lewin Dicklis. Feel the rhythm, feel the beat. Feel that magic right in your feet with Corey. Go close your eyes and let that rhythm get into you don't try to fight it There ain't nothing that you can do. Relax of mine, lay back in good with mine you're gonna feel that heat. Corey Lewin Dicklas does all 12 Michael Jackson albums back to back to back at the Crab Apple Country Club and karaoke Hall. Get there early and buy tickets now. This will sell out. On this episode of the commercial break. His client is me. Basically his client looks like me and he's talking to a girl who's probably no older than 21 years old. He's probably in his 40s I would imagine. And there is zero chance that this guy is going to walk away with any of these girls phone numbers. They're entirely too young and pretty.

[Chrissy]

Not the real ones.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, not the real ones. That's true.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

After our training, once you have memorized the process, you will then be able to go out on your own and quote, rinse and repeat again. It's just like me being a master chef and, or cook and or baker, et cetera.

[Brian Green]

And you, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

[Chrissy]

Love that.

[Brian Green]

Et cetera. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. 2:30 in the morning. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show crew Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

Best to you Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on this episode number 703,000. Thank you very much Chrissy. I was going to share with you this week that there is an asteroid headed to earth that is probably going to mean certain doom for all of humanity. It's called asteroid YR24 because it was found in the later part of November of 2024 and scientist says that it had scientists were telling us that it had not zero chance of finding its way to Earth or our moon. So in the direct path of Earth or the moon. Now you're wondering to yourself if you do the math just a little bit, there should be a zero chance or a hundred percent chance that something should hit the earth. Not a 1% chance. It was like 1 or 2%, 3% at some point. So I was gonna tell you this so that we could all freak out and hide under our beds and make a make good on the last six years of living here on Earth. But I just read that it's now a 0% chance that it's going to hit Earth. So that is good news. You heard it here last, the commercial break, keeping you informed about all the comings and goings of the asteroid circling around Earth. Just last night I read that it is no longer a threat to humanity. That's what news this was a like a football field sized asteroid that would have created a crater a mile wide. And a lot of drama for those living in or around that particular asteroid. That to me is some of the scariest type of apocalyptic visions that you could have. Accelerationism and something coming from outer space, whether it be aliens or a rock hitting Earth and then certain destruction for all of us. Think about this. I want everybody to take a deep breath. Driving in your car, at work, having sex with your girlfriend, because we are the best podcast to have sex to.

[Chrissy]

And to sleep too.

[Brian Green]

And to sleep too. Probably more to sleep too. But okay, if you're having sex, then I want everyone to take a deep breath and then I want you to think about this for a second. For months and months and months, we look up in the night sky, maybe even the day sky, and we see a growing object getting bigger than our moon as every day goes by. Fiery ball from hell coming toward us. And we have no choice but to suffer the consequences of certain doom. Like a black cold night for many, many months until we die of starvation. That to me is the scariest kind of apocalyptic vision because we will see it coming and we will see it coming for a long time. And we will have nothing, there will be nothing that we can do unless Bruce Willis can get back on the horse and ride again. You know what I'm saying? That's the only way. And scientists have done that too. NASA has done this. They have effected, yes, they have moved a asteroid off its course. But that asteroid was like many, many, many, many, many thousands of miles away. And they were saying that if this particular asteroid y 4 y r 24 I k n y k d y not 24, if that asteroid was on its way to Earth, then we did not have time to do anything about it. The time had already passed. So we were fucked. Yeah, six years apparently is not enough time to get that asteroid diversion machine up there. And we would really have to do something like drastic go put a nuclear bomb on it and hope that that diverts it, explodes it, whatever it is. And so this for at Least a week was scaring the shit out of me. I was having nightmare visions in my bed, like, wow, my kids aren't that old. And we're all gonna have to watch as the sky gets dark and we just wait for D day to come along.

[Chrissy]

That's crazy to think about.

[Brian Green]

Yes, it is. And so, you know, I was.

[Chrissy]

I was nerved up.

[Brian Green]

I was ready to, you know, go to the red light district, spend the rest of my money, buy bitcoin.

[Chrissy]

Create an nft.

[Brian Green]

Create an nft, build that.

[Chrissy]

I'm going back to Tulum.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Oh, shit. What do you do? There's six years left. What do you do?

[Chrissy]

I don't know. That's.

[Brian Green]

What do you have on here? Well, first of all, the Earth is full of people that aren't well. And so if we really have six years left, I know that it's going to be a total shit show. It'd be nuts if someone came on the radio today or the television. Radio? Who listens to radio? We've been talking about this all week, off air. Anyway, I don't want to. I don't want to knock radio because, you know, we work for a radio network.

[Chrissy]

It's already knocked.

[Brian Green]

We work for a radio network. It's already knocked. Yeah, it's struggling as it is. We don't need to kick it. We don't need to kick it while it's down. So. But if someone came on the television today and they said, you know, president or whoever, and he said, bitcoin asteroid. If Trump came on today and said, unfortunately, we have figured out through mathematical calculations that I clearly did not do that. Asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we're all fucked. Yeah, right. It wouldn't take 24 hours before everybody was going loony fucking tune around the world. So for that reason alone, I am sus about this particular article that says it's no longer a threat because I think that people in charge may know better than to actually say that out loud. Yeah, like paradise. They're secretly pulling people into a bunker.

[Chrissy]

We need to check in with Neil DeGrasse.

[Brian Green]

Neil won't come on the show. I've asked him a couple times.

[Chrissy]

God, I love that man.

[Brian Green]

He said, I'll think about it next time I'm out there doing podcasts. And that was two years ago. Yeah, two years ago. I'd love to have Neil on.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God, he's so fascinating.

[Brian Green]

You're the safe place for you, bro. I'd love to hear anything you have to say. You would improve the intelligence of this show by a thousand, just by logging on. That's it. That's all you need to do. But you have to think about that. When there is someone saying there is a 1 to 3% chance that an asteroid is going to hit the Earth in 2032 and. And then days later they say, oh no, just kidding, it's 0, 0% chance. Now I agree. It is either 0% or 100%. You do the calculations. How is it 1%? Is it going to like. You know, in space things fly pretty straight unless they hit something else or gravity pulls them away. Right. So you would know like it's an orbit. You would know. However, it's pretty predictable. However, if someone says there is a chance and then all of a sudden says there isn't a chance, is that just scientists or NASA saying we really can't let this cat out of the bag? We got a. Society has got to function for the next six years because if there is an asteroid heading toward Earth and it's certain doom and gloom, people are going to go crazy. They're going to go crazy. Laws be damned. Laws are already be damned. I mean, we're already living in a lawless country in a lot of ways. But then we're going to need to.

[Chrissy]

Keep our eye on the sky.

[Brian Green]

Sounds like I have my eye looking.

[Chrissy]

At it last night actually because there's some planetary thing that's happening right now.

[Brian Green]

Where you can see. That's not planets, that's Elon Musk's. No, space drones. No.

[Chrissy]

But although I did see some satellites.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they fly.

[Chrissy]

I got this app, Sky View. Skylink. Yeah, it's so cool when you hold it up and then you can.

[Brian Green]

And then you can see the constellations, see what you're looking at. Yeah, it's pretty cool because when I was a kid I was always fascinated by it in the book, but. And then in real life I could never quite figure out where Orion's belt was. It was, wasn't clear to me exactly what was Orion's belt. And my kids are now getting fascinated by this. So I got the app so could look and see. They're still confused about what's going on. I'm still confused about what's going on.

[Chrissy]

But you can, it will tell you if it's a satellite.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You can see those satellites flying across the sky. And that's my point. That's my point. Okay, I get it. You're out yachting and you know, you need safe harbor or whatever. Fuck you. So what do you do if there's six years left?

[Chrissy]

I mean, a lot.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Well, tell me, what do we do? What do we get to. What do we get up to if there's six years left?

[Chrissy]

I don't know. God, that's tough.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Like, you need money to do stuff.

[Brian Green]

You do and we don't have any.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Well, first, first thing, I sell all the equipment in the house. I sell all the equipment and I desperately try and get a real job for six years.

[Rachel]

Right.

[Brian Green]

So that I have some money to feed myself and my children. I don't know.

[Chrissy]

Take it like the last year.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, for the last year of like five years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then take off the last year. Just really hit it hard. Probably take the kids down to. To Disney a couple times.

[Chrissy]

I mean, definitely hitting up Margaritaville again. Listen, and Great Wolf Lodge.

[Brian Green]

I could think of worse places to die than Margaritaville. Do you know what I'm saying? I could not think of worse places to die than Great Wolf Lodge. That's. That's a given. I mean, who wants to die at the Great Wall Lodge? I know there are people that do, but it's not me. I am not that. There is someone out there who says, that's my perfect. You know, when I was a teenager and I was doing a lot of experimenting with hallucinogens, you know, that can really fuck with your brain. And so I would oftentimes think about, like, apocalypse for whatever reason, what would I do in those circumstances? And then I would talk about that amongst friends. You know, we're all fucked up at night. Where would we go? And all of us always said, Disney World. Just head down to Disney World, spend a couple of weeks and then just let the. Let the warm water of death wash over you. Right? Because it's a cool place, it's happy. You got roller coasters. You know, Mickey. Mickey had pretzels and those ice creams you can only buy down there. That pineapple dole whip. That dole whip. I want a dole whip before I die. So that seems like a cool place, but a beach seems like a great place.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, if you're going to be in the shadow of an asteroid and fiery ball from hell coming at you, you know, be on the beach, party.

[Chrissy]

In the woods, except on the beach.

[Brian Green]

Party in the woods, except on the beach. Everybody's naked. Bonfires everywhere driving you bananas. You can't sleep because of all the bongo playing, lots of ayahuasca. I mean, you got to have dmt if that you know? Yeah, but I think I'd probably. I think I'd probably pass on the hallucinogens if I actually knew that at the end was near.

[Chrissy]

I might. With your head?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's gonna just. With. It's already gonna with my head, but then it's gonna with my head even more if I'm all fucked up. So, yeah, I'm cashing out everything and I'm just living high on the hog. But then you wonder like, okay, isn't everybody else also going to do that? And then what about the people who make these places so special? The people who work at Disney or the resorts or your favorite beach that are bringing you those fruity cocktails with umbrellas if they know in mere moments our money's going to be no good, why am I working? Why is everybody else doing this? And I'm working for these people? I don't know that I'm going to start, you know, so. It's a tricky proposition.

[Chrissy]

It really is. It was six years to think about it.

[Brian Green]

Six years.

[Chrissy]

I think if you had a week, that's one thing, but six years, you gotta thoughtfully plan.

[Brian Green]

If you knew the day you were going to die, would you. If you could know that day, would you want to know that day?

[Chrissy]

I thought about that before.

[Brian Green]

That's a really fascinating question with so many twists and turns.

[Chrissy]

I think no.

[Brian Green]

I think no too.

[Chrissy]

But then I guess you could really plan.

[Brian Green]

If you knew the day you were gonna die, there could be. You could have lots. You could say your goodbyes. You could make sure that everything was buttoned up. You can make sure your family was taken care of, or those last things you wanted to do were, you know, you had done.

[Chrissy]

You could plan your party.

[Brian Green]

You could plan your own funeral. I've already planned my own funeral. If I die tomorrow, don't make a stink. Have a fucking party. Just have a party. That's all I'm asking. Don't make a stink.

[Chrissy]

Me too. That's what I want.

[Brian Green]

Have a party. I doubt many tears are gonna be shed, but, you know, if anybody starts.

[Chrissy]

To cry, I'll bring in Teresa Caputo.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Theresa Caputo's gotta be there because she's gotta figure out our secret word that we can't remember.

[Chrissy]

Nope.

[Brian Green]

Nope.

[Chrissy]

I think at one time it was Henry Fonda.

[Brian Green]

It was Henry Fonda. Yeah. Now we need to update it. Yes.

[Chrissy]

Change password. Change password.

[Brian Green]

Please update your password. Yeah, I think that's a complicated question with so many different. Like there are. There are causes and effects to knowing the day that you're going to die. And one of them is like, if someone said, hey, Brian, you're going to die next month, yeah, I would be freaking out, Absolutely freaking out. But then I would do my best to get everything done that I needed to get done. Make sure that my family was okay and everything was going to be fine. Say my goodbyes. But I'd also be incredibly sad. Right. I think about all the things that I'm going to miss. If someone says you're gonna die at 89 years old, well, then I just, you know, make sure I live the best life that I can until such day. The problem is, if you could know the day that you die, you can't control the day that you die. So if I can't change it, then what am I gonna do? I might as well just not know that way.

[Chrissy]

True.

[Brian Green]

I go blissfully unaware into the night, as I always do, going to sleep. My blood pressure 200 over 70,000. Just hoping that my ticker is still kicking it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. That's all you can do?

[Brian Green]

That's all I can do.

[Chrissy]

I mean, it's all those, you know, Instagram quotes that we hear.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chrissy]

Live every day to the fullest.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Live every day to the fullest. Live your life. And you never know when this day, if this day will be your last. Love laugh. Live. Here's my nipple dance. Yes. Here's my double E's. Yes.

[Chrissy]

There's my thong.

[Brian Green]

Live, Laugh, live. Love labia.

[Chrissy]

That should be insane.

[Brian Green]

Cherish every day as if it was your last. I bleached my asshole. Take a look. Link in bio. Link in bio.

[Chrissy]

Link in bio.

[Brian Green]

I K N Y K D Y N I K Y, D Y D Y. Yeah. I mean, you, you, your life becomes a trope at that point. You just gotta do what you gotta do. It is what it is.

[Chrissy]

It is what it is. The heart wants with the heart.

[Brian Green]

The heart wants with. The heart wants. And the heart wants to. A couple more days, please. Yeah, they say bargaining is part of grieving. I probably bargain. Like, please just give me, like, you know, if someone said you're going to die next month, I'd be like, give me another month. Like, can I have another month? I'll be really good. I promise I'll make. I'll put it. I'll stop doing the commercial break. I promise I will. No more commercial break.

[Chrissy]

Amends.

[Brian Green]

Yes. So part of me thinks that, I mean, listen, I am not like the most skeptical media watcher in the world. I don't think that everything is a lie or a conspiracy or whatever. I think that stories are manipulated. I think that PR people, yeah, I think the PR people do their job. The media does their job of slanting the conversation one way or the other to suit whatever agenda they happen to have personally, organizationally. But this one gives me a little bit of pause because for weeks, even Neil DeGrasse Tyson was addressing this. He said, listen, and he's the one who said there is a 0 or 100% chance. We just don't know what that is yet. Right? He's like, so don't everyone freak out, because eventually we'll know. But he said, by next year, we'll know if it's 0 or 100% chance. How did they figure that out so quick? If Neil DeGrasse Tyson, one of the smartest human beings that lives during my lifetime, said, it's going to take a year for us to figure this out. When this asteroid gets on the other side of the sun, we'll figure it out then. How did they figure it out in just a couple of days? And why are they now pushing out this particular story? Is that true or is there a bunker being built somewhere?

[Chrissy]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Definitely not going to be included.

[Chrissy]

I think they just fired everybody at that agency.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true. That's the other thing is that, hey.

[Chrissy]

It'S not happening anymore, people.

[Brian Green]

How do we know if no one is actually working? How do we know if no one's working at those agencies? Yeah, that's why we need these people. Lifelong public servants and bureaucrats sometimes do serve a purpose. I'm all about smaller government. Trust me, I am. I don't need every. I don't need to fill out a form for everything that I do in my life and have someone breathing down my neck about every time I, you know, shit or send a zell to my cousin. I don't need that. However, some of these people, lifelong public servants, serve a purpose. And there's like this reel going around about people who have been recently fired by Doji or whatever the fuck we're calling it.

[Chrissy]

This. Didn't people just quit too?

[Brian Green]

Well, a bunch of people quit, Doge, because they didn't agree with whatever Musk was telling them to do. And so there's this reel going around. It's like 20 different people. The reel's about two minutes long. And they are fired. And they were explaining what they do in government. One guy was like, I clean up the trash at Yosemite so that you don't have to see dirty diapers. Yeah, so you don't have to see dirty diapers and fast food trash bags when you're driving in Yosemite. And the next person was like, I make sure the children get, you know, lunches for the da, da, da. And whatever it was. These people are serving small but significant purposes inside. And those, all those little small things end up being big things. Can we have a review? I agree with smaller government. Can we have a review? A process by which we go, is this, do we need this? Do we need this? Is this effective? Is it efficient? And then make a decision, but at least give people, at least give an opportunity to these organizations and these governmental bureaucracies to justify their existence. And then let us all know why we have these people around. Then we go, oh, okay, they serve a purpose. Let's do that. I think, I think that, that, that would be a good way to go about it.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, just a big review.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, but Doji's just taking a chainsaw. Because I believe that this is part of a, of a movement called accelerationism, where some very rich people and some other influential behind the scenes people believe that society is breaking down anyway and they want to accelerate it to get over the hump and create an AI lit, AI driven one world, right? This is called accelerationism. Look it up. And I think, I don't know, but I think want to look it up. I don't know. No one wants to look it up. That's the thing, is that no one fucking agrees with it. Except for a couple of Looney Tunes who happen to be billionaires. And running AI companies like this is super dangerous. But we're all. I mean, I guess we're not all rolling around because I see these town halls, one of which happened here near where I live, and it made national news.

[Chrissy]

I saw that.

[Brian Green]

Like many national news things. So people are questioning what's going on. But yeah, there's 20 young kids just. Or I don't know if they're young kids, but 20 kids just quit that Doji program because they said, probably because their mom or dad called them and were like, what are you doing? What in the fuck? Are you gonna get a real job? Go to Silicon Valley where the rest of the people are. With your kind of skill set, go do something good with your life. And then because Musk cannot get a security clearance and because he was not born here in the United States. And because, because, because, because, because, because there's even questions about whether or not he actually is a Citizen. They can't actually appoint him to the head of Doge, so they appointed someone else the head of Doge. Did you see that?

[Chrissy]

I did see that.

[Brian Green]

And it's some lady running and. Yeah, and it's some lady who. Her kids and, you know, treating kids with certain conditions and disease as well. And she seems like a perfectly reasonable, lovely lady who's on vacation in Mexico for three weeks and no one can get ahold of her. So it's like they just, like, pointed the finger and were like, you do it. Yeah, you do it. He'll call you and tell you what. He'll tweet at you, exit you, whatever you call it, and you do it. It's unbelievable. What the fuck is going on?

[Chrissy]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know either. This is one bad episode of the Commercial Break. There is more organization at Commercial Break LLC than there is in the current administration that is saying something, because this is probably the worst organization in the history of llc. I'm telling you that right now. No doubt about it. All right, let's do this. I don't want to get on a rant because people hate when I get on. Well, some people like it, but, you know, some people like it, but those are the only people that are still listening. Since our numbers are going down and not up, let's take a break. I'll take a deep breath, and we'll get to what we really enjoy doing. Making fun of pickup artists.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yes.

[Brian Green]

We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to TCB Podcast and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us, and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send A text we'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right, off our doji and on to our puas. Chrissy, I'm sure on the Internet, as you. As I do like to do. And, you know, because of my search history on YouTube, I have an eclectic mix of things that will come up.

[Chrissy]

The algorithm.

[Brian Green]

The algorithm, I'm telling you. National treasure. My search history on that computer and my search history on YouTube and Instagram. National treasure. National treasure. Why? I don't know. But if you're into bikinis and crazy people, you're gonna love my search history, so I'm sure I doesn't love those two things. Well, I mean, I am a boy. Here's the thing. Somebody put out a reel the other day. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm justifying my bikini watching. Here's the thing, I'm putting on. I'm flipping through Instagram the other day, and there is a gentleman, and he says, Instagram is so rigged, the algorithm is so rigged toward racy content for any male, and I'm going to prove to you why. So then he explains that he's got three different Instagram accounts. His personal, his business, and then a finster, a fake Instagram account that he can use. I forgot where. He explains he can use probably to stalk his ex girlfriend or whatever, but, you know, probably for nefarious purposes. But he explains this, and he says in all three of those, I, you know, it's me that owns the account. So they know that I'm male, they know that I am attracted to women. They must, right? He goes, any time that I go to search on my business, on my personal or on my finsa, all of the pictures that pull up are half naked women, women in bikinis or some other kind of racy content. He's like, on my. On my business account, I have never, not once searched for anything like sex related, right? Never. Not once. And he says that I did an informal poll amongst my guy friends and they all say the same thing is on Instagram, when they search, all that gets shown is pictures of girls in bikinis. And so while Instagram purports to not want this content on, you know, it's not that they don't want the content, but they don't promote that kind of content. Every guy out there seems to be getting the same content, which is bikinis. So do you believe me, Astrid? Okay. I was trolling on the Internet as you do. As I do, and I found a new pua for us to talk about. He's giving a one and a half. We're not going to go through all one and a half hours. Maybe we will. I don't know. He's giving a one and a half hour course on how to pick up women as they often do. He's got kind of a new spin on it. He's got a little bit of a different spin. This is a little bit of a different spin. It's not far off from what we hear on other pickup artists in the community.

[Chrissy]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Sticky eyes. You're giving me the sticky eye. The sticky eye. Okay, let's take a listen to this guy. Oh, Christina, will you Diary. I mean, Tina. Tina. Well, your name is. No, it's okay.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

You're just approaching women. It's about building.

[Brian Green]

Old habits die hard. Habits die hard. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. To Christina and to Tina. I apologize. I mean, her name is Christina, but we call her Tina. Right.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

A wife worthy of attracting those beautiful women. And when you get so good at this game, you won't even have to approach women. You will just become the man, and women will come to you.

[Brian Green]

You are gonna be a pussy magnet.

[Chrissy]

You're gonna be the man, and women will come towards you.

[Brian Green]

You ever got in a magnet from.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God, his shirt? Do you see what it says? It says, no wife, happy life.

[Brian Green]

That's right, Chrissy. No wife, happy life. That's how we do it. You ever gotten a new magnet from the dry cleaner or something like that? And you go and you just throw it on your refrigerator and it sticks. It's a. That's what happens when you become the man. And you are officially a pussy magnet. Labia literally stuck on your face.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Flip the whole game on him. Now you're not the guy running around doing pickup lines. Now you're the guy sitting back controlling things. And women are like, who is that guy? I want to get to know him.

[Chrissy]

Who's that guy with the whiteboard behind him?

[Brian Green]

Who's that guy with the whiteboard and a overly wordy poster next to him?

[Chrissy]

What is that?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. When you're not working your game, remember, someone somewhere is working on their game. And when your dream girl shows up, he will get her, says Ryan Jumanes. Master pick of our master.

[Chrissy]

Master.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Tina was asking, like, what gives them the qualification of master? Well, I think it's The Spider man tattoo on his elbow, I think that gives you the master that says master all over it.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

And then you get the women chasing you. Let me say that again. Don't focus on the goal.

[Chrissy]

That lettering is so tiny.

[Brian Green]

This is the worst PowerPoint presentation in the history of PowerPoint presentations, because it's not even PowerPoint. It is literally a poster board. So let me give you a little. Here we are.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what's happening here.

[Brian Green]

Ryan here is a tatted up guy. Fine, whatever. Lots of people have tattoos. I like tattoos.

[Chrissy]

I think he has a tattoo of a kiss on his neck.

[Brian Green]

He does have a tattoo of a kiss on the neck that says everything you need to know. So Ryan is a tatted up white guy wearing a black T shirt that says MG Toe. Don't even know what that means. No wife, happy life. He's got a whiteboard to the left of him. He's got a white sheet behind him. And then to the right of him, not even in the entire frame, he's literally got poster boards that are saying, is that poster boards or is that a tv? I can't tell.

[Chrissy]

I think it might be a screen.

[Brian Green]

Okay, maybe it's a screen.

[Chrissy]

Like a small TV.

[Brian Green]

He's got a PowerPoint presentation running. There must be a thousand words on that power. But you. You can't even see it because the whole screen is not even in focus. That's really weird.

[Chrissy]

It says at the top in big letters. It says, am I going to get laid on this boot camp?

[Brian Green]

The answer is probably not. That's the second boot camp you get laid. For $10,000 more dollars, I'll give you private coaching. I guarantee he's trying to sell private coaching. But I will also say, when I started first doing public presentations as a salesperson, nothing got the crowd going more than putting every word you were going to say on a PowerPoint presentation. Reading your PowerPoint presentation is the best way to give a presentation.

[Chrissy]

It's so engaging.

[Brian Green]

It's so engaging.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Focus on getting laid or getting the girl. Like, oh, I just have to get laid today. I have to get the girl. It's not about that. It's about building the skill set.

[Brian Green]

All I can see, all I can read is no refunds. Do you see that?

[Chrissy]

Yes, I do.

[Brian Green]

That's no refund. That is powerful. Yeah, yeah. In bold.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

It's about learning the process of how the game works. Let me give you a quick example of what that might look like. Oh, so here I am here and.

[Brian Green]

Oh, great. He's doing. We're doing some football sketching out on the whiteboard.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

This will be you.

[Brian Green]

You block, I tackle.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

This is your target. Right. So I'll say, hey, see that blonde over there? Go talk to her. Go use the absolutely adorable opener. So you walk.

[Chrissy]

Opener.

[Brian Green]

Go use the UF wretched breath opener.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

And boom, you go, hey, real quick, super random. I thought you were absolutely adorable. So now here you are.

[Brian Green]

He's guys. Guys and girls who are listening out there. You, the listener. I must describe this to you. He has the whiteboard. He has got a blue marker and a red marker, and he is literally putting X's and O's, showing you where you're physically going to be standing and how you're going to walk up to a girl.

[Chrissy]

Here's the target.

[Brian Green]

I didn't know that they really sketched it out. This in detail. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

What's his name again?

[Brian Green]

Ryan something.

[Chrissy]

Ryan.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I have a feeling we'll know his name before too long.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Talking to your target, you guys are kind of. Kind of talking back and forth, and I am basically rovering around. I might be here.

[Chrissy]

He also has YOLO tattooed on the.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I bet he regrets that every day of his life here.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

And I'm just kind of scoping the scene, just kind of being like, okay, how is the student's body language looking? Oh, look, he looks pretty good. Like, doesn't have his hands in his pockets. Looks like he's lean.

[Chrissy]

So he's just encircling the situation. That's happening. Okay.

[Brian Green]

Like a shark and a baby seal. He's going to be circling around, taking notes, making sure that you're in the proper posture and position to get your dick wet.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

He looks very cool, calm and collected, like, yeah, this. This set is going really good.

[Chrissy]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

With Las Vegas's number one. It's okay. Here it is. This is what it says on the screen. More bad PowerPoint, by the way. I just have to say this PUA boot camp video. Frequently asked questions. A few things you should know with Las Vegas's number one dating coach, Ryan Juan Zemas.

[Chrissy]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Hey, guys, Ryan here. If you're receiving this message, it means you probably just purchased my new PUA Boot Camp. So welcome to this quick briefing. PUA Boot Camp Video faq.

[Brian Green]

This quick briefing, it's an hour and a half long. First of all. Yeah, I know where they're like, this quick message.

[Chrissy]

We're gonna give it to you quick. And then an hour later, if you're.

[Brian Green]

Receiving this message, you Got it. If you're receiving this message, the asteroid has hit Earth and we must make new babies. So I'm here to teach you it. I'm Las Vegas's number one dating coach.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

A few things.

[Brian Green]

What makes him Las Vegas's number one dating page? Is there like, nothing? Do they actually have a ranker? Yeah.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

You should know.

[Brian Green]

All right.

[Chrissy]

Before we like the best pizza.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Sometimes we're best pizza in the world.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Any place can say that.

[Brian Green]

It does.

[Chrissy]

We were down in Mexico and Jeff's like, look there. It said it has the best pizza in the world. I was like, yeah, well, there's no standard. I don't think.

[Brian Green]

No standard whatsoever. Sometimes we're Apple's number one improv comedy podcast. And I don't think that. I don't think that makes much difference. I think a lot of people would disagree.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Made this little briefing video for you guys so that you know everything to expect before we actually meet up. Real life coaching session. Introduction.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Oh, my God. What was that all over the place? This is terrible. Juan needs to take his ADHD medication.

[Chrissy]

Unstoppable.

[Brian Green]

Las Vegas 7 magazine. What is Las Vegas 7 magazine?

[Chrissy]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

It's one of those. You remember when we were named one of Atlanta's best podcasts? It's out by simply writing out our own article and sending it to them.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

And thank you for purchasing my new boot camp and or coaching and or.

[Brian Green]

Training and or one of the best in the game. Says bad boy lifestyle product, etc and welcome.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Why I created this program.

[Brian Green]

Train with the master. Oh, he's like the Yoda of Las Vegas dating.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Coaches, let's talk about a few things and or frequently asked questions. You should know beforehand how the boot camp and or training is set up. Typically all of my live training.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's at a mall. This mall seems to be a favorite stomping grounds of a lot of these pickup artists. I can only imagine why. Watching my students win in the field. Learn how to approach hot women. Get coaching from me. DM for more info.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

And or boot camps, etc. Consist of a mix.

[Brian Green]

This is like a bad local television. It's terrible.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Between in classroom lectures, theory, question and answer, etc. And live infield approaching.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God. There's like a guy at the mall at the Gap talking to girls that are clearly a little on the young side, don't you think?

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Or drilling and or training, et cetera. Example. My eight hour diamond package.

[Brian Green]

My eight hour diamond package.

[Chrissy]

One on one seduction coach.

[Brian Green]

Learn how to pick up odd women. Eight hour one on seduction. Coaching with Ryan was $199.99. Now only $479.00. Achieve your goals. Date hot women now. Learn step by step 100% scientifically proven techniques to approach hot women. And start conference. What scientist is doing research on this?

[Chrissy]

None.

[Brian Green]

Oh, a free 15 minute phone consultation. You know what Chrissy, I think we're.

[Chrissy]

Going to have to call.

[Brian Green]

We're going to have to call the.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Phone number of one to two days of either two times.

[Brian Green]

Is that Ivanka Trump?

[Chrissy]

I don't know. It's some kind of stock picture.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it looks like Ivanka trump to me.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Four hour sessions consisting of four hours lecture and or theory and four hours.

[Brian Green]

Infield training or A1 theory or yeah, whatever your. Whatever your week, whatever your weekend he's going to bolster that. So it's either what theory or technique.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

I'm 8 hour block or 4 times 2 hour trainings. Etc. It really just all depends on our schedule and we discuss all that before.

[Brian Green]

It really all depends on how much I can spit in a day.

[Chrissy]

Eight hours.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

It's a long time.

[Brian Green]

Hey listen, it takes a long time to teach these kind. Chrissy, this is a hack that you're gonna want to know. Hack.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

However, every student and or client has their own unique and specific goals when it comes to achieving success with women. So every training will be custom tailored to meet the specific and unique goals of Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

I thought if we were reviewing this we had already bought it.

[Brian Green]

We already bought it.

[Chrissy]

So this is the diamond.

[Brian Green]

Well, he needs you to get the diamond package. Chrissy, listen, you're only gonna learn so much by going to the in person boot camp where he'll be swirling around you all afternoon at the mall. Yeah, listen, you can get the diamond package or the mall package. The mall package. We're not teaching as much technique in theory as we're doing during the diamond package where we go to the outlet malls. That's really where a lot of women go. The TGI Fridays Cheesecake Factory student and or client.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

For example. Some students goals may be to just find love or a girlfriend and or wife or the perfect partner while others may just want to learn how to get laid fast with more women.

[Brian Green]

Get them digits.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Students may just be seeking more confidence during social situations or learn how to manage their social anxiety in a public.

[Brian Green]

This is some of the worst marketing I have ever seen. This is like.

[Chrissy]

It's horrible.

[Brian Green]

You've been to Vegas, right?

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You've been to Vegas. Okay. You go to Vegas and you'll find that there's a lot of people who are obviously looking for an extra dollar or two. They might be down on their luck. They might not have that much money. They're being paid by some strip club or brothel to hand out these flyers. These look like those flyers. That's what it looks like.

[Chrissy]

All put together.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Firemen while dealing with other people. While other students are already successful with women and are now trying to take their game to the next level or may even eventually want to become a coach themselves. Who this program is for generally students who have already either previously gotten Skype and or zoom video coaching and who have done at least a one hour assessment.

[Chrissy]

Hello and thank you for purchasing my new bootcamp coaching, slash training, slash product, et cetera.

[Brian Green]

This is crazy. Okay, so let's read a little bit of this because now we're just reading a PowerPoint presentation. I didn't realize we were going to go down this PowerPoint road, but okay, we'll roll with it. How the boot camp training is set up Typically, all of my live trainings, boot camps, et cetera. He uses a lot of et ceteras consist of a mix of between a mix between in classroom lectures, theory Q and A, et cetera, and live infield approaching drilling training, et cetera. Example. My 8 hour diamond package consists of 1 to 2 days of either 2 times 4 hour sessions consisting of 4 hours lecture or theory and 4 hours of infield training or 1 on 1 by 8 coaching, a block of 2x2 4 coaching etc. However, every student or client must get their own unique and specific goals when it comes to achieving success. He just literally read that entire PowerPoint slide and then he put it on there word for word. Ryan, I don't know about your pickup artist skills, but I know some people who can help you with your presentation skills. This is terrible, bro.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

With me or who have already been through my bronze and gold trainings or one of my other live trainings and or seminars. But this is definitely not mandatory. So let's talk about the purpose of boot camp. What is the purpose of taking a PUA boot camp? Approaching women is a skill set which can be developed via practice and repetition. Learning how to pick up women is no different than learning any other skill set.

[Brian Green]

Okay. I think what we've learned about Ryan is that he is the world's worst PowerPoint presentation skills. When I saw some of this video I thought this was really promising. But now what I'm learning is that Ryan is just reading slide by slide, thousands of words that he has typed out, and he's putting those on the video so that you can read along with him. Ryan, if your PUA skills are anything like your meeting skills, do not buy this class. Do not buy it. You're going to be stuck in a hot hotel room, probably a Holiday Inn somewhere off the strip, listening to Ryan read his own bullshit with a lot of et cetera, Spelling mistakes, punctuations, a lot. This guy writes copy like I write text messages. Do you know what I'm saying? This is a problem with society today is that we're just not teaching these kids how to write. This kid, this guy needs some grammar lessons before he's gonna get some POA lessons. But, hey, listen, don't. Don't believe that. If you don't believe the PowerPoint slide, believe Ryan when he says you can have dating coach technique theory, get married, get laid, etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. All right, we're gonna take a break, and then we'll find some actual content here, and we'll get back to it, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

[Rachel]

Rachel here, while Brian takes his old man bladder to the little boys room. Let's talk turkey. TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring, and we know you care, don't you? Well, don't you? Ooh, that was some childhood trauma rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail and at 212-433-3822 and you could be the next TCB. Disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice. You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at the commercial break on the [e-mail] and all the episodes on video are available the same [e-mail] thecommercial break. I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsor, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break. I'll take a raise now, bitches. Bye.

[Brian Green]

All right, and we're back. Now we've managed to scroll our way through something interesting here with Ryan. Yeah, I mean, listen, I was just telling Chrissy, I think that there was one time when Rafa and I owned the Internet marketing company, and there was a guy who came in to pitch us on something I forgot what it was. He came in to pitch us on something and he sat down and he put up a PowerPoint presentation with thousands of words on it, and they were all bullet pointed. And he started reading line by line through it. And about two pages in, Raphael and I were like, sorry, this is not for us.

[Chrissy]

Just leave that with us.

[Brian Green]

Just leave that with us. If you came here to read it, we can do that on our own and we won't. And we will not do that.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Number one, top dating and success coach and have taught thousands of men just like you from all over the world how to become more successful.

[Brian Green]

This video is 10 terrible.

[Chrissy]

At a mall outside of Forever 21.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, dude. I mean, listen, this makes me. This makes me pine for John Anthony lifestyle because at least his videos are interesting. At least you can watch his videos.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

With their interactions with women. Think of me just like a football coach and you're like a player on the team. I give you.

[Brian Green]

Let's go get that. Get suited up. Get condom on. Let's go.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

The plays on how to approach and meet women. I tell you exactly what to do and say, oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

There's a video playing in the background, a background video where there's guys at the mall that are leaning over there. He's. They're downstairs. This guy is on a balcony, like, you know, on the upstairs, looking down into this courtyard area. And he is talking in a microphone. And these guys have earpieces in. Do you not. Are you not automatically suspicious of a guy who starts coming up to you with an earphone with an earpiece in? Like, what are you, Secret Service? Who am I talking to?

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

I instruct you how to stand, how to move, how to dress, how to act, and what to do through each.

[Brian Green]

And I will instruct you on how to be exactly who you are not.

[Chrissy]

Look at the. Look at the.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Chrissy]

It's the.

[Brian Green]

Transcript.

[Chrissy]

Transcript. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Dave, Dave, Dave. Let's reenact this.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You ready?

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

You'll be the target. I'll be Dave.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Are there Starbucks around here? Are there Starbucks around here?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, there.

[Brian Green]

Thanks.

[Chrissy]

Starbucks. See?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay. Hey, thanks. Are you from around here?

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Eject button.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Ejaculate button.

[Chrissy]

This is crazy.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Good for. Good for Ryan.

[Chrissy]

That looks like that did not produce anything.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And by the way, he's talking to a girl who's running a kiosk. Are there Starbucks around here? I don't think Starbucks is a word. Are there Starbucks around here?

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

The process, then you simply follow the directions Memorize the process for yourself, and next thing you know, a beautiful woman is now giving you her phone number and agreeing to meet up with you for a date.

[Brian Green]

We are watching in what they call in the field footage while. While Ryan is incessantly babbling on about his PowerPoint, he is showing in the background live footage of his clients at the mall, in the food court. YouTube.com TheCommercialBreak you gotta go watch this. He's showing footage of his clients in a mall hitting on the girls running the kiosk stand. Some lady having lunch, you know, girls at a jean store. Meanwhile, his client is balding, wearing glass. His client is me. Basically, his client looks like me. And he's talking to a girl who's probably no older than 21 years old. He's probably in his 40s, I would imagine. And there is zero chance that this guy is gonna walk away with any of these girls phone numbers. They're entirely too young and pretty.

[Chrissy]

Not the real ones.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. Not the real ones. That's true.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

After our training, once you have memorized the process, you will then be able to go out on your own and quote, rinse and repeat again. It's just like me being a master chef and, or cook and, or baker, etc.

[Brian Green]

And you, etc. Etc. Etc. Loves that etc.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Like an apprentice. And I am teaching you how to bake a chocolate cake, for example. I tell you what ingredients you need at the store.

[Chrissy]

Leaning on the counter and talking to the girl behind the counter.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, because that's her job. Her job is to talk to you. Anybody in a service environment. If I'm a pickup artist, and I'm not, this has been well noted. History will go down and I will not have pickup artist on my grave. Whatever the opposite of pickup artist is, a dump artist. That's what I am. I'm a dump artist, Whatever that is. Whatever that means. Pickup artist. If I am one of those, the first thing I am telling my clients is that customer service related interactions are not considered interactions that are valuable because they are paid to interact with you.

[Chrissy]

Like the strip club.

[Brian Green]

Like the strip club. You don't go to a strip club to pick up a girl. The most expensive thing in a strip club is what hope. I hope she comes home with me and I will pay endless amounts of money to see that that happens. That's it. The entire universe of strip clubs runs.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

On hope is milk, oil, eggs, chocolate, et cetera, and in et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, proportions to use and how to mix them together properly, how to grease the pans, how to set the oven to the right temperature, how to ice the cake, and how to serve and present the cake with drum, et cetera.

[Brian Green]

The name of this episode is Etc. No doubt about it. Or Etc.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

It's the same exact thing with picking up women. It's just a process.

[Brian Green]

Oh my God. So he's the more in the field footage where he is pushing a guy, literally physically throwing him and now go and talk to this girl.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Once you learn the process, you will be able to go out and pick up women any. Oh my God where and anytime you want. You might also use the metaphor of learning how to build a house.

[Chrissy]

Who was that?

[Brian Green]

You might be a. No idea. Yeah, I don't know. Now we just have random footage now he's showing you phone numbers. Nobu. He's got Nobu in his phone. First of all, that's an iPhone3.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Carpenter with all the raw materials. That is the lumber, the cement, the screws, the nails, etc.

[Brian Green]

I get girls phone numbers, hot chick Truh.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

But you don't have the blueprint for the house or any of the necessary tools I.e. hammer, screwdriver, screw, gun, socket, wrenches, etc, etc.

[Chrissy]

What is he saying and doing?

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Love that metaphor about the house. Most likely you already have everything that you need to attract women. You're enough most likely as it is.

[Brian Green]

However, that's the most honest thing you've said the entire time. There you go. Yes you do.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Might just not have the know how or the specifical technical specifications of how to actually approach.

[Brian Green]

It isn't a fucking IKEA chair you gotta build. It's going out there and being social. It's not really all that complicated. And I do understand that there are many people on this earth who have social anxiety and that that's. They find that they would rather cut themselves with small pieces of paper than go and put themselves in a social situation that's unfamiliar to them. That is a challenge. I don't think I can help you get over. That's. You just have to find something in you that overcomes that kind of anxiety. But there are no technical specifications to attraction. It's either happening or it's not happening. And you're. She's either right for you or she's not or he's right for you or whatever. You can't manufacture this by rinsing and repeating terrible pickup lines and putting yourself in front of women and giving them the hand and telling them to stop and talking to Kiosk girls at the mall. I mean, come on. Starbucks, what's that? Starbucks is not even a word, et cetera.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

What to do, how to get her phone number, and all that really is just a step by step process. Like I said, you already have the lumber, you already have the cement, but I'm the guy who has the blueprint and the tools that you need in order to.

[Brian Green]

I've got a blueprint. It's on my arm. Check it out.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Build that house. Or just like with this cooking and chef metaphor, same thing. I'm like the master chef and you're the apprentice cook. So I'm going to teach you how.

[Brian Green]

This sounds like the. Sounds like the plot to Ratatouille.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Bake that chocolate cake. Hey, you need a quarter cup of oil, you need a half cup of milk, and you need three eggs, and you need blank, blank and blank. Now, if you only have, you know, you don't have any oil, and you only have a little bit of milk, and you only have two eggs.

[Brian Green]

This is an extraordinarily specific metaphor, and I don't think metaphors are supposed to be specific. I think that's why we call them metaphors, etc.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

And you try to make that same cake, well, it's just not going to work for you, right, because you don't have the.

[Brian Green]

I had. Now have a. I am officially unconvinced. This is Las Vegas's number one pickup artist.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Proper ingredients to make the chocolate cake. But that's why I'm there to instruct you exactly how to do it. So in terms of meeting and approaching women, when we go out together, essentially what I'm doing is I'm going to teach you step by step. Go up to her and you're going to say this. You're going to stand like this. You're going to project your voice, loud, confident, dominant, like this.

[Brian Green]

Where are the Starbucks? Where are the Starbucks? You get a car and you get a car and you gotta go. Etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

I'm out there being a cheerleader for you, okay? I'm not saying, oh, just go be confident. Just go talk to her and make it happen. I'm out there giving you the specific technical details.

[Brian Green]

First things first, I want you to pick up your right leg, bend at the knee, push it forward, foot down. Second step, pick up your left leg, bend at the knee, push it forward, step down. Now, see that girl over there? Stop. Not the right posture. Hold on one second. Change your clothes, change your voice, change your thoughts, change Your mind. Let's put in contacts that aren't your eye color. We need a wig. You need to bodybuild. I'm going to get you plastic surgery. And now you're perfect. You're perfect just the way you are now. Now that I've changed everything about you, I'm telling you exactly what to do. I am the chef. Let me give you a metaphor, Chrissy. I am the chef. I work at a Cheesecake factory. I come into work at 4:30. I clock in, I put on my chef's apron, I wash my hands, I walk over to the pot, I put water in it, I boil it, I get four eggs, I crack those eggs, I put them in the pot, I get a cup of flour. Etc. Etc. Etc. But wait, I haven't finished with my metaphor.

[Chrissy]

I'm good.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no. You skip steps, you don't win. You're not gonna get laid like that, Chrissy. You're not gonna get laid like that. You think j. You think Jeff's just gonna screw you cause you're a hot chick? No, doesn't work like that. You need to listen to my chef metaphor. This is why you paid $497 for the diamond package. Diamond package.

[Chrissy]

Diamond.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

This, this, this and this. And you get the girl on my boot camps and or trainings. You'll learn the secrets of attraction. The secrets?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What makes it and. Or why are we and oring.

[Chrissy]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. I guess it just depends on who you are and how badly you want to read through a PowerPoint presentation.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Psychology and how to confidently and strategically approach women and groups of women and start conversations. You will learn how to approach and captivate your audience, spark deep emotional connections and.

[Brian Green]

Wow. What is this? B roll footage. Where does he find this? This is him. Where? At qvc.

[Chrissy]

That's not him, is it?

[Brian Green]

That's him. Okay, that's him. It's obviously him many years ago because he no longer has any hair or all that weight on him. But. But you know, that's him and he's.

[Chrissy]

In some place giving these people a pop quiz.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, this looks like a PBS studio, you know, like a local GPTV studio where he's giving the guys a pop quiz. If I could only read those questions. Those guys must kick themselves in the fucking balls when they realize they have to go sit in a chair for hours at a time and listen to this guy read through a PowerPoint presentation.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Escalate sexual tension and ultimately build a solid lifelong skill set to Be able to attract women anywhere and anytime. The purpose of boot camp is a surefire way to get you out of the house.

[Brian Green]

Are they playing games? Are they playing bingo?

[Chrissy]

Like a bucket.

[Brian Green]

A camo camouflage bucket. He's pulling numbers. Who wants to go first?

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Computer. And out of your head.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he gave him a piece of candy.

[Chrissy]

Oh, he's not the quiz.

[Brian Green]

He's handing out candy. This guy is a tchotchke. Oh my God.

[Chrissy]

It's bad.

[Brian Green]

I really want a 15 minute consultation.

[Ryan (PUA Coach)]

Instead of just sitting around all day thinking and or daydreaming about approaching women and getting a girlfriend and. Or getting laid, etc, this will actually get you out into a real life social situation with real women. And learn from a master of the game that is the dating game.

[Brian Green]

Well, you know what? After this, I feel like I have to get out into a real life social situation. I think this is the worst pickup artist ever. That's terrible.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Wow. Not only was it bad advice, it's just the delivery is terrible. Oh my God, the delivery is all over the place. It makes no sense. And I gotta be real honest, I'm not sure that this would work because I'm not sure I could get through it.

[Chrissy]

Absolutely not.

[Brian Green]

This is an hour and a half long, Chrissy.

[Chrissy]

Like you said, I'm pining for the days of the. What was the convention?

[Brian Green]

The 21 convention.

[Chrissy]

Convention just blew this guy.

[Brian Green]

Okay, maybe tomorrow we need a palate cleanser. Going back to Zahn, at least Zaun was making it up whole cloth as he went along. Just made up the. This guy's reading it. It's unbelievable how terrible that is. Really bad. Okay, well, Chrissy and I are gonna go read the 42 page PowerPoint presentation and we'll give you the Cliff Notes, if there is such a thing. Etc, etc. Etc. And then we'll fill you in tomorrow. I do need a palate cleanser. I feel like I need something to wash this out of my brain. It's terrible. All right. So bad. All right. 212-433-3822 212-4333. TCB questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all at that phone number. Or you can leave us a voicemail if you want to be on the show. We might use that voicemail in a future episode. You never do know. So roll the dice, gamble, etc. Etc. Etc, etc. That's my metaphor. Also, I like lost my train of thought because I'm trying to read the words on the boot camp. Also YouTube.com thecommercial break we would love it if you would the commercial break we would love it if you would come check out the new studio Watch us on YouTube we would love it and you can subscribe to that channel if you're so kind. At the commercial break on Instagram TCB podcast on tick tock and tcbpodcast.com that's your home for all things commercial break. More information about Chrissy and I. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. Plus you can get your free TCB schwag by going to the contact us button drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your physical address and we will be happy to send that to you post haste. Etc etc etc.

[Chrissy]

It really does cover everything I guess.

[Brian Green]

Etc. Okay Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now. But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye. It. What what the am I doing. Sa.