The Commercial Break – “Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!”

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Date: February 28, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break delivers another dose of freewheeling, irreverent comedy as Bryan and Krissy riff on the chaos of doomsday headlines, government dysfunction, and the enduring bafflement of online “pickup artist” (PUA) coaches. The conversation zigzags from mock existential dread to savage takedowns of snake-oil dating gurus—all in the signature TCB style: tangential, self-aware, and gleefully unserious. Their recurring punchline: “Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera,” becomes the episode’s running joke as they dissect and lampoon the mumbo-jumbo of internet PUAs.

Main Discussion Themes

1. Doomsday Asteroid Scare & Apocalypse Plans

[02:10–13:50]

• Bryan recounts his recent anxiety about news of “asteroid YR24,” initially reported to have a small risk of striking Earth. He imagines the collective hysteria if we really knew the world was ending:

  “If someone came on the television today and said, '…Asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we're all fucked…’ it wouldn't take 24 hours before everybody was going loony fucking tune around the world.” (06:37)

• They ponder what they’d do with six years left on Earth, with suggestions ranging from wild abandon (“spend the rest of my money, buy Bitcoin, create an NFT,” [06:05]) to family bucket lists (“I’d probably take the kids to Disney a couple times,” [10:24]).

• This spins out into a mix of dark humor and nihilistic speculation—would people even keep society running, or would it devolve instantly?

  “What about the people making these places special… If our money's gonna be no good, why am I working?” (12:15)

2. Would You Want to Know Your Death Date?

[13:02–16:10]

• Bryan and Krissy discuss hypotheticals about knowing the date of your death.

  • Both agree “no,” but Krissy jokes, “You could plan your party!” (13:34)
  • Bryan pushes for a funeral-as-party:

    “Just have a party. That’s all I’m asking. Don’t make a stink.” (13:41)

• The segment quickly devolves into their trademarked comedic riffing on Instagram inspiration, funeral entertainment, and changing the “secret password” for communicating from the afterlife.

3. Skepticism Over News and Government Bureaucrats

[16:27–22:15]

• Bryan speculates about manipulated narratives and “accelerationism,” referencing how government agencies might downplay risks to keep society calm.
• They joke about layoffs in government, how essential some “boring” jobs are, and the struggle between big and small government.
• Notable Quote:

  "Lifelong public servants and bureaucrats sometimes do serve a purpose... all those little small things end up being big things." (17:51)

4. “Accelerationism” and Leadership Dysfunction

[19:40–22:15]

• Bryan explain “accelerationism” (the theory that some powerful people might want society to collapse to build a new AI-driven regime).
• References current events, government firings, and Musk’s inability to get a security clearance/intense speculation about who’s really steering things.
• Memorable: “There is more organization at Commercial Break LLC than there is in the current administration, and that is saying something...” (21:38)

Featured Segment: Pickup Artist (PUA) Mockery

[23:19–57:57]

A Major Segment of This Episode—Hilariously Skewering Online Pickup Artists

1. Instagram’s Bizarre Algorithm

[23:19–26:07]

• Bryan describes a viral meme about Instagram serving up swimsuit models to every dude, regardless of their search history.

  “If you’re into bikinis and crazy people, you’re gonna love my search history…” (23:34)

2. Introduction of “Ryan”—Las Vegas’s #1 Dating Coach

[26:29–40:27]

• Bryan & Krissy introduce Ryan, a PUA coach with “master” status (self-anointed), who presents a PowerPoint bootcamp on seducing women.
• Running gags:
  • “No wife, happy life” T-shirt (27:02)
  • Endless, unreadable PowerPoint slides filled with “etc., etc., etc.”
  • The “Diamond Package” ($479 for 8 hours of seduction coaching, down from $1,999.99)

Memorable Quote:

“...putting every word you were going to say on a PowerPoint presentation. Reading your PowerPoint is the best way to give a presentation.” (29:28)

3. Bootcamp Mechanics: Absurdity in Action

[31:03–40:27]

• Ryan’s “infield training” is dissected: sketching football-style Xs and Os for “approaching the target,” with his role reduced to “rovering around” the mall (32:06).
• Demonstrating painfully bland openers and showing “live” mall footage—Bryan notes the clients are hopelessly outclassed (“There is zero chance this guy is gonna walk away with any of these girls’ phone numbers. They’re entirely too young and pretty.” [46:50])

4. Metaphor Mayhem and “Et Cetera” Mania

[41:52–57:13]

• Ryan leans on metaphors comparing dating to baking cakes and building houses, always punctuating with “etc., etc., etc.” (“Let me give you a metaphor, Chrissy. I am the chef. I work at a Cheesecake Factory…” [53:12])
• Bryan and Krissy brutalize how customer service workers (mall kiosks, etc.) are clearly paid to be nice and shouldn’t be “targets” in this context.

Notable Quotes:

“It isn’t a fucking IKEA chair you gotta build. It’s going out there and being social…” (50:16)

“You just gotta do what you gotta do. It is what it is. The heart wants with the heart wants…” (16:01)

“If your PUA skills are anything like your meeting skills, do not buy this class.” (40:27)

Most Recurring Gag

• The phrase “et cetera, et cetera, et cetera” is repeated both in parody and genuine bafflement at the PUA coach’s reliance on filler words.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Bryan, on asteroid panic:
  “If someone came on the television today and said… asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we’re all fucked… it wouldn’t take 24 hours before everybody was going loony…” (06:36)

• Krissy, on funeral plans:
  “You could plan your party.” (13:34)

• Bryan, on the episode’s namesake:
  “And you, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.” (51:08)

• PUA Coach Ryan, relentless in training metaphors:
  “After our training… just like me being a master chef, or cook, or baker, etcetera.” (46:55)

• Bryan, summarizing the PUA method:
  "I will instruct you on how to be exactly who you are not." (44:48)

• Krissy, on girls at the mall:
  “That looks like that did not produce anything.” (45:32)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:02 – Opening parody ad spot
• 02:10 – Asteroid scare, apocalypse riffing
• 06:36 – Societal breakdown hypotheticals
• 13:02 – Death date thought experiment, funeral jokes
• 16:27 – Government layoffs, “accelerationism,” skepticism
• 23:19 – Transition to mocking Instagram’s “horny for men” algorithm
• 26:29 – Introduction of Ryan, Las Vegas PUA coach
• 31:03 – Demonstration of a PUA “approach”
• 42:52 – Return from break, critical PowerPoint feedback
• 46:50 – Real-time breakdown of the PUA’s mall “infield footage”
• 51:08 – “Et cetera” as a running theme and punchline
• 53:12 – Metaphor tangent (Cheesecake Factory chef bit)
• 57:13 – Final summary of the PUA experience
• 59:21 – Episode wrap-up and self-mockery

Episode Tone & Vibe

• Loose, highly improvisational
• Self-aware, satirical, and intentionally unpolished
• Heavy on running jokes and callbacks
• Friendly banter with breaks for wild tangents and absurdity
• Mocking but not malicious—a comedic takedown of online hustle culture

Summary

In this episode, Bryan and Krissy of The Commercial Break drag listeners on a hilarious whirlwind through apocalyptic anxiety, government dysfunction, and their favorite comedic target: the hapless, jargon-choked world of online pickup artists. With “et cetera, et cetera, et cetera” as both mantra and punchline, they puncture the pretensions of relationship gurus selling “diamond packages” and mock the algorithmic nudges of modern life. True to its “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts” reputation, this episode careens from cosmic terror to franchise funeral parties to the mall food court, always with a wink, a groan, and a reminder that, in the end, it’s all “just FINE.”