Fare Thee Well TCB!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – Episode: Fare Thee Well TCB!

Host Information:

• Title: The Commercial Break
• Hosts: Bryan Green and Kristen Joy Hoadley (Krissy)
• Description: An improv-comedy, interview, and variety show where Bryan and Krissy delve into their quirky friendship, pop culture, internet oddities, relationship drama, dark humor, and more, often accompanied by humorous games and interactions with guests.

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1. Introduction: Setting the Farewell Tone ([02:00] – [03:32])

The episode kicks off with Bryan Green humorously quoting song lyrics, segueing into the announcement that this could be their farewell episode. He quips, “the Eagles also have done six farewell tours and yet they have yet to say farewell” ([02:51]). Kristen joins in, expressing uncertainty about why farewell shows are often never final, saying, “I don't know why anybody says it anymore” ([02:53]). Their banter sets a playful yet nostalgic tone, hinting at the possibility of concluding the podcast while simultaneously indicating they might continue despite the farewell theme.

2. Super Bowl in New Orleans: Ticket Prices and Speculations ([03:32] – [09:24])

Bryan shifts the conversation to the upcoming Super Bowl in New Orleans, discussing the exceptionally low ticket prices compared to previous years. At [06:10], he states, “it is now the least expensive super bowl ticket in a decade,” highlighting tickets at $2,300 ([06:10]). Kristen questions why prices have dropped, leading to a discussion on factors such as fewer hotel rooms in New Orleans, economic concerns, and speculations about public figures like Donald Trump attending the game possibly deterring sales ([06:39] – [07:32]).

They fondly reminisce about New Orleans, contrasting it with Bourbon Street. Bryan humorously refers to Bourbon Street as “the Cheesecake factory of booze streets” ([08:12]), emphasizing its vibrant yet overwhelming party atmosphere. They contrast this with other charming areas like Frenchman Street and the Garden District, sharing personal anecdotes about live music and the unique cultural vibe of New Orleans ([08:40] – [09:24]).

3. Real Housewives and Marcus Jordan Scandal ([11:06] – [15:36])

The discussion shifts to reality TV, specifically the "Real Housewives of Atlanta," where Bryan brings up the recent scandal involving Marcus Jordan. At [10:43], he states, “a couple of old geezer things I think I should take care of,” then delves into the controversy of Marcus Jordan being arrested for cocaine possession and fleeing the scene of an accident in his Lamborghini SUV ([11:07]).

Kristen adds context, explaining the relational dynamics and the public’s fascination with celebrity scandals, mentioning that Marcus was involved with Scottie Pippen’s ex-wife ([11:30]). Bryan expresses disbelief over Marcus's actions, questioning the ethics and decision-making of wealthy individuals, particularly those with high-profile families ([12:18] – [15:36]). They critique the facade of wealth often portrayed by reality TV stars, emphasizing the disconnect between appearance and reality in such shows.

4. Misheard Lyrics Game ([27:08] – [44:35])

One of the episode’s highlights is the engaging and humorous "Misheard Lyrics" game played by Bryan and Kristen. They take turns presenting famous song lyrics that listeners often misinterpret:

• Examples Discussed:
  • "Everytime You Go": Kristen shares a family anecdote where her sister thought the lyric was “Every time you go take a piece of meat with you” ([29:15]).
  • "Dancing Queen" by ABBA: Bryan jokes about the misheard lyric “Feel the beat of the tangerine” instead of “Feel the beat of the tambourine” ([30:26]).
  • "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.: Misheard as “Let’s pee in the corner” instead of the actual lyrics ([30:49]).
  • "Monster" by Eminem and Rihanna: Misheard as “I’m friends with the mustard” instead of “I’m friends with the monster” ([32:47]).
  • "Staying Alive" by Bee Gees: Discussed various misinterpretations and the challenges of understanding lyrics due to accents or musical styles ([32:32] – [44:35]).

Throughout the game, both hosts share laughs and personal stories related to misheard lyrics, making the segment relatable and entertaining. Notable moments include Bryan’s frustration with the inaccuracies provided by Good Housekeeping’s misheard lyric list ([30:40] – [35:09]) and their collaborative effort to create humorous interpretations of classic songs.

5. Atlanta’s Culture and Perception of Wealth ([16:09] – [20:28])

Bryan and Kristen delve into a critique of Atlanta's culture, particularly focusing on the prevalence of ostentatious displays of wealth. Bryan remarks on the abundance of $250,000 cars and glamorous lifestyles portrayed in the city, questioning the authenticity of such displays ([17:02] – [19:39]). They discuss the disconnect between the perceived affluence and the actual financial status of many residents, emphasizing how the culture of “keeping up with the Joneses” leads to superficial displays of wealth.

Bryan highlights the rise of fabricated personas on social media, where individuals depict exaggerated lifestyles to gain followers and prestige ([17:10] – [19:39]). Kristen reinforces this by mentioning the booming rental businesses in Atlanta, which support the illusion of wealth without genuine financial backing ([17:10] – [19:39]).

6. Technology and AI Influence ([34:14] – [37:14])

The hosts touch upon the role of AI in misheard lyrics and broader cultural implications. Bryan sarcastically attributes the misinterpretation of lyrics to AI, suggesting that automated systems are creating inaccurate versions of classic songs ([34:14] – [37:14]). This leads to a broader discussion on how technology influences culture and the potential for AI to distort authentic artistic expressions.

7. Celebrity Farewells and Final Tours ([47:02] – [58:34])

Bryan transitions to discussing various celebrities’ potential farewell tours. He critiques current farewell announcements from iconic musicians like Ozzy Osbourne and Steven Tyler, expressing skepticism about their final performances ([47:11] – [58:34]). He humorously references Frankie Valli's performances as mechanized and robotic, contrasting them with the rich live experiences provided by bands like Pink Floyd.

At [55:12], Bryan shares personal anecdotes about Aerosmith’s internal conflicts and speculates on the sincerity of Ozzy’s farewell announcements, ultimately maintaining their playful, irreverent tone.

8. Closing Remarks and Continued Humor ([58:34] – [63:25])

The conversation circles back to the potential end of the podcast, with Bryan and Kristen humorously contemplating their own retirement and the longevity of "The Commercial Break." They joke about the podcast continuing indefinitely, much like the seemingly endless farewell tours of the discussed musicians ([58:34] – [63:25]).

Bryan reflects on purpose and legacy, drawing personal stories about his daughter’s dance instincts and the timeless influence of music on future generations ([60:21] – [63:25]). Their exchange underscores the show's enduring spirit despite the farewell theme, blending heartfelt moments with comedic banter.

9. Notable Quotes:

• Bryan Green at [02:51]: “The Eagles also have done six farewell tours and yet they have yet to say farewell.”
• Kristen Joy Hoadley at [02:53]: “I don't know why anybody says it anymore.”
• Bryan Green at [06:10]: “It is now the least expensive super bowl ticket in a decade.”
• Bryan Green at [29:40]: “Every time he goes away he takes some extra meat with him.”
• Victoria Key Moments:
  • Discussions critiquing economic factors affecting Super Bowl ticket prices.
  • Highlighting the disparity between perceived and actual wealth in Atlanta’s culture.
  • Entertaining misheard lyrics game filled with humor and relatable mistakes.
  • Skeptical yet humorous takes on celebrity farewell tours and the authenticity of such announcements.

10. Conclusion: A Playful Farewell with an Open Door ([63:25] – End)

The episode concludes with Bryan and Kristen embracing the farewell theme while simultaneously affirming their intent to continue entertaining their audience. They encourage listeners to stay connected through various platforms and reflect on the journey of "The Commercial Break," leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes despite the farewell nod.

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Overall Impression: "Fare Thee Well TCB!" masterfully blends humor, personal anecdotes, and cultural critiques, encapsulating the essence of The Commercial Break's improv-comedy spirit. Bryan and Kristen navigate through topics with wit and authenticity, ensuring both long-time listeners and newcomers find the episode engaging and entertaining. The playful acknowledgment of a possible farewell adds depth, showcasing the hosts' ability to balance humor with genuine reflections on their podcasting journey.

Transcript

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[Brian Green]

When I came home last night, you wouldn't make love to me. You fell fast asleep. You wouldn't even talk to me. You said I'm so crazy. You said I'm so crazy, girl coming home intoxicated. Give it up girl. I can make you feel all right. Come on then give it to me, baby. Give it up, girl. Give it to me, baby Give it to me. Give me that stuff that funk that sweet, that funky stuff. On this episode of the commercial Break, the Eagles also have done six farewell tours and yet they have yet to say farewell.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know. I don't know why anybody says it anymore.

[Brian Green]

Don't say it. Don't say it. Just say sayonora for now. Right? We're leaving soon. We're old.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We might be gone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Might wanna check us out again.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen, this is the commercial breaks farewell show. For all I know. Could be the commercial breaks farewell show. As a matter of fact, every episode, Consider every episode from now on to.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The next episode, because that's our farewell.

[Brian Green]

When will that happen? I don't know. Tomorrow maybe. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Ah, yeah. Cows and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the most of my Sanders, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Just want to shout out to Andrew Callahan, Channel 5 News. Dear Kelly, the new documentary that has been self produced, directed and funded by Channel 5 and Andrew's Media company. Go check that episode out. Tuesday, the Tuesday infomercial. Lot of positive feedback about that conversation, that interview. Yeah, I asked some of our, of our listeners ahead of time. I just sent them a quick note like, hey, you know, I know we don't normally talk about politics, but if I was to have an interesting conversation, not specifically bashing one, you know, politician or another, but just about the, you know, the, how people get the landscape, the landscape and how people, you know, fall into extremism and you know, the kind of, the closely or the hotly divided country that we have right now, would you be interested in that conversation? And most people said yes. And a few people said, eh, not really interested in all that. But all the, the feedback was positive and they said Andrew did a good job. We did a good job of keeping away from the bashing and just having a conversation about the nature of our culture in 2025. So please go listen to that episode and then check out Andrew's documentary. You can go to his Patreon page. Unlock that. Dear Kelly, support independent journalism. For sure. For sure, for sure. Okay. The New Orleans super bowl right around the corner. Chrissy, the football team against another football team. Can't wait. Super excited. Taylor Swift's team versus the people who shoot each other after they win. So it's the Eagles versus the Chiefs. The Chiefs in the super bowl for the third time in as many years. Could they, could they do it. Could they be the only team in history to win three Super Bowls in a row? No one knows and very few fucking care. But I will say this. It is now. It is now the least expensive super bowl ticket in a decade. Inflation adjusted. In a decade. So prices are dropping out. The bottom is falling out of the prices. I just looked. You can now get a ticket for $2,300. Not bad seats. I would never pay $2,300 to see a sports event. I almost paid $4,000 to go see the Cubs win the World Series. But that's the Cubs winning the World Series. Sorry. That wasn't a bomb. That was just my phone. I do. It's now part of the show Blue and my phone dropping on the floor and make in this echo chamber. I don't know what it is about this table. I got to figure it out. Maybe I should have bought an actual table. That wasn't $32 on Wayfair. No offense against Wayfair. Wayfair is great, but it was really heavy. I felt like, oh, this. When you look and it says it weighs 62 pounds, I thought to myself, great.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Solid.

[Brian Green]

It's solid piece of wood. It is absolute, absolutely hollow in every sense of the word. And so everything that happens in this house now gets echoed through the table into the microphone. So sorry. Yeah, yeah, there you go. There's a little annoyance for you in your morning drive there. But that's. That. That is interesting. And I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I was thinking about that this morning when I saw that, too. I was wondering if the fact that it's in New Orleans has anything to do with it. I don't know. I wonder why.

[Brian Green]

I think you're being. I think you're on to something there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Last year, Las Vegas ticket prices were through the roof almost double. The cheapest ticket was about $5,000. And some experts that I read this morning said New Orleans has a lot to do with it because New Orleans, first of all, has far fewer hotel rooms. So the hotel rooms are terrible.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right. I can see that.

[Brian Green]

It's, you know, the cost to travel down there is much is. Is more expensive, the cost of travel and stay there. And then some people think that, you know, New Orleans just had a terrible incident occur. Maybe some people are shying away from going to New Orleans specifically. And then some people speculated Trump announced he's going to go to the game. And some people speculated that that is not a positive for ticket sales. That is a negative. Not because people don't like Trump. That might be the truth, too, but because Trump has been a target and they worry about safety, who knows if any of that's true? It's all speculation, I'm sure.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And I love New Orleans. It's one of my favorite towns.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, maybe Me too. By the way. By the way, loved it, Astrid. Not the biggest fan of it. I can't wear sandals in New Orleans because of the New Orleans soup. The street soup. I can't. You know, you don't want to have anything to do with that. So not my favorite footwear city. But I love it. I think it's beautiful, people are nice and listen, Bourbon street is not the street I go down at my age. No, it's just not. I mean, you go down just to see shit, but.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, there's so many other parts.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, it's like it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That is soul.

[Brian Green]

Bourbon street is like the Cheesecake factory of. Of booze streets. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The main. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's bright, it's shiny. It has a thousand items on the menu. You know, all of them include a shit ton of cheap alcohol. That's going to give you a headache. That's what you do when you're a frat boy or you go down for the first time, or Mardi Gras. I can see you going down Bourbon street for Mardi Gras, because, of course, that's where a lot of the action happens. But that's not my favorite part of town. There are many other places in New Orleans that are just as fun and wonderful and. Frenchman Street.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Frenchman Street.

[Brian Green]

The Garden District. I remember I went down to New Orleans for Jazz Fest.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes. And many times.

[Brian Green]

One night we went over to. I think it was Frenchman Street. Am I right about that? Am I saying that right? Is that the right street?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Green]

And there was, you know, it's kind of a place where some retail and some houses are mixed together like most places in New Orleans down there and in the District. And there were house parties going on.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Where live music was playing out of the open windows, and you just walk in and out of some of these houses. It was amazing. It was just.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's so much the best.

[Brian Green]

It was so much fun. And there's lots of drugs and alcohol down there. So at a certain part in my life, New Orleans was like, you know, that was like a mecca I'd much rather go to.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Soul to me.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. It's old history.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The soul of it. Yeah. It's all music, food, the food's incredible.

[Brian Green]

They have a piano down there that's twice my age. Do you know what I'm saying? They have a piano at one of those bars that's twice as old as I am. It's been there twice as long as I have been on earth. And yeah, it's just there's so much going on down in New Orleans at any given time. It's a big city. It's got big city problems. You certainly have to mind your p's and q's down there. Like, don't take cab rides from a gypsy cab driver with a gun in his gun in his right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Learn from Uncle Brian.

[Brian Green]

Learn from Uncle Brian. Take these sanctioned cabs. Though we did get from point A to point B safely. I'm pretty sure it's because someone had a panic attack in the car and the guy was like, rather than rob you, I'm going to drop you off because I don't want to be bothered by anybody. These white people bothering me. I'm getting out of here. So. But the ticket prices dropping is I think an indication also that people are a little bit nervous about the economy. You know, like, who's going to go spend $5,000 just for you and a buddy to go see? Unless you're like a die hard Eagles or Chiefs fan, you can watch it on tv. Let's all be honest. The best thing about the super bowl is the fucking commercials. That's what we want to see. And who's doing the halftime show?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Is it Nelly? No. Is it Kendrick Lamar?

[Brian Green]

It's Kendrick Lamar.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Kendrick Lamar. Okay. All right. There you go. Yeah, I'll look. I like it. I'm looking forward to that. So, yeah. Okay. Another sports related thing that I wanted to talk to you piggy front on is you see Marcus Jordan. Michael Jordan, son got arrested for cocaine leaving the scene of an accident. Got stuck on a rail, you know, like rail ties in his Lamborghini.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, the railroad. Yeah, yeah, his Lamborghini SUV.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it's an SUV. Oh. Because why not spend an extra $50,000 on a Lamborghini? That's insane to me. Listen, I knew Michael Jordan had children, but I had no idea about any of those children. They've done a good job. I had no idea that Marcus Jordan.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, you don't watch the Housewives then.

[Brian Green]

Oh, the Real Housewives. He's on the Real Housewives of something.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, Miami. He d larsa Pippen, who is Scottie Pippen's ex wife. And it was a big deal. You know, there's a huge age difference. And Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen had a big rivalry. So it was kind of a.

[Brian Green]

Okay, wait, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. I grew up in the age of Michael Jordan in Chicago. Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan were like wonder twins. They were so good with each other and for each other on the basketball court. And I realized there may have been some friction that Michael Jordan got all of the attention. Pippen was Michael Jordan isn't Michael Jordan without Scottie Pippen. Right. But his ex wife was screwing Michael Jordan's son.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. They did it for like a good year, maybe longer.

[Brian Green]

No way.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was all over the.

[Brian Green]

That's a twisted affair. Yeah, that is a twisted affair.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Wow. That's the kind of drama that like usurps even Real Housewives drama. Bullshit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, they had like a podcast together and stuff like that.

[Brian Green]

They had a podcast together? Scottie Pippen's ex wife and Michael Jordan's son.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Uh huh.

[Brian Green]

What's the age difference there?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, she's 50, he's 36. Okay. So there you go.

[Brian Green]

Wow. No shit.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's one way to get back at your. No, that's one way to get back at your ex.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He was on the show and everything.

[Brian Green]

That's one way to get back at your ex. Could you imagine fucking your longtime co worker slash friend's son? Ex wife or son? That is unbelievable drama. Why? Wow. Okay, so the guy is known. Well, I don't. I don't watch Real Housewives, so I would not have known this. I knew that Michael Jordan had kids, but I had no idea who any of those children were until I started reading the headlines that Marcus Jordan was arrested for cocaine. He had cocaine in his pocket and he was drunk and he fled the scene of an accident when cops were trying to pull him over and got his Lamborghini SUV stuck on a train crossing. Essentially. This just befuddles me. This befuddles me to no end. That if you can afford a Lamborghini.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Lamborghini.

[Brian Green]

A Lamborghini.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'll let you get away with it for a couple of times.

[Brian Green]

Lamborghini.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A Lamborghini.

[Brian Green]

It's a Lamborghini. It's a labradoodle mixed with a Lamborghini. They're delicious. You could have them for breakfast. Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They're a new dude.

[Brian Green]

They're so cute. They honk instead of barking. The Lamborghini suv.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Coming in at, I don't know, half a million dollars. Yes. Half a million dollars.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You can't afford a driver.

[Brian Green]

You can't afford someone crazy. Yes. To get in that seat and get in that driver's seat sober. You could pay me $30 and an in and out burger, and I would stay with you all night long drinking water just to make sure that you got home safely. That would be enough for me. And by the way, there's plenty of those people out there. They're called Uber drivers. They will do it for you for very little money. How you get into a car, being Michael Jordan's son, being a famous person yourself, after getting smashed, leaving the scene of an accident, cocaine in your pocket. With cocaine in your pockets, do what everybody else does. Have somebody else drive you if you have cocaine in your pocket. That's what I did all the time. I refused to drive if I had cocaine in my pocket. You want to know why? Because you're just adding insult to injury. It's just stupid. It's stupid. Don't do that, Marcus. Come on. You're already fucking your best friend, coworker's ex wife. And doesn't your dad talk some sense into you? Doesn't that dad of yours say, hey, son, don't fuck up while you're fucking up? And where did he get the Lamborghini suv? Where did he get it? Is that Michael Jordan's money or is that Marcus's money?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What does Marcus do? Well, according to whatever I saw in the Housewives, he does have a lot of business ventures that he does on his own.

[Brian Green]

A lot of business ventures. Quote him.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We'll find that out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know a million of these people. I got business ventures. That's me, that's Brian. I got business ventures. I got a podcast. I'm an entrepreneur. I got a podcast. I'm a producer. I'm making a movie. I'm an actor. I'm an actress. I'm in real estate. I'm in MLMs. I sell essential oils for a living. I got lots of entrepreneur things going on. Yeah, that's. That sounds very nebulous to me. And I know a lot of these people. Atlanta is full of people who have jobs that they never had. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

They will tell you. You know, it's like, hey, what do you do? Oh, man, I got a lot of irons in the fire right now. I'm a producer on this movie. I'm making this new album with a friend of mine. I got a podcast and a Vodcast. I'm an influencer in the wild. I also Have a talent management company if you know, you ever want me to take 10% of your money for no reason. They have all of these job descriptions, but they do none of them. They actually do none of them. Atlanta, a little bit of this. You want to live in Atlanta, make up your own title. Wha. Bam. You're in Atlanta. Wha bam. Producer. Producer. That's it. So many people in Atlanta are producers. We're all producers. What are we producing? I don't know. It's like this is the kingdom of the non existent job here in Atlanta. Now everybody seems to have money, but no one can tell you exactly what they do because they're renting the fancy car.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

What can they say? Or the rental business here in Atlanta has got to be huge, booming. I see cars, homes, jewelry, all of it.

[Brian Green]

I'm sure, like a lot of different places, like many different places in the United States of America. Atlanta is the. Is like the glowing Metropolis full of $250,000 cars. You can be driving anywhere in Atlanta and see an extraordinarily expensive car every five minutes. It's just the way that it works. But how do all of these people have all of this money? Where did it come from? I don't think it exists. I think you're right. I think where it exists is on the rental lot. The guy who actually bought the car and is renting it to you. That's what happens. I mean, I just reading an article about this kid who gained like half a million followers in three months. And it was an expose that's really not surprising to anybody. The kid said he had a lot. It was his. Like his Instagram was full of shots of him holding, you know, tens of thousands of dollars in cash. Gold bars, gold chains, you know, million dollar shoes. Driving around Lamborghinis. It's got a tailpipe. They're so cute. You could get them in red or yellow.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love it.

[Brian Green]

Make sure to take them for an oil change. He's got all this like his Instagram, which is full, and this kid is like 19 years old, full of multi million. I mean the posts themselves were worth multi million dollars. You know what I'm saying? They just look like they're dripping in gold. And the expose was done by like this investigative reporter, quote unquote on Instagram to find out that this kid arrival, this kid had none of it, none of it was true. All the cash was borrowed, all the shoes were, you know, rented out from someplace. The cars were not his. The plane that he claimed was his was not he claimed he had a private plane. But in doing the investigation, the guy realized that the plane that he was taking a shot standing outside of was not the same plane that he was taking a shot standing inside of. This is all manufactured. And I feel like Atlanta. While I love this city, I love it to death. And I know there's a lot of money in Atlanta, a lot of real money. And Atlanta, this is a place where you can make things happen. It's a lovely city. But there's just too many $250,000 cows out there on the street for me to believe that everyone is making that kind of money. Yeah, it's like a rat race. It's Keeping up with the Joneses.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Everyone's got to do. Look.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. How do you look? That's right. Fake it till you make it. That guy, that real estate late night TV real estate seminar guy. Like, we. We reviewed him. One like Joe Kwan or whatever his name was, Joe Quad. He made that up. Look like a million dollars till you make a million dollars. And that. That couldn't be more the truth.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Sometimes it does. Most times it doesn't.

[Brian Green]

Dude, when I worked for Scam Cole fm. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which was also, you know, pretend like.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You have money and you have money and housewives adjacent.

[Brian Green]

All of it. Yeah, I was. It was. So it's where I realized that the housewives of Atlanta were neither housewives or lived in Atlanta. And none of them had money. It was all just of. It was all just a facade, essentially. No knock on Nene Leakes, you know, I think she's done great for herself.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No, I love all of them.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But they just showed these women in fantastic and spectacular riches, and almost none of it was true. And how did I know that? Because I became embedded. I got, like, thrown into the middle of this group of ladies who was either on the Housewives or adjacent to the Housewives. None of them bad human beings. All of them very nice. But you realize that it's a paper tiger. You poke it and it breaks. Right. And same with the guy who ran the place. Simon Guabadia is like the biggest paper tiger of them all.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, who's now getting divorced from Portia.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Well, fill me in on that one. I do love me some Simon Guavati out there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You might have to watch the Housewives this spring.

[Brian Green]

I can't. I can't watch Simon. Yeah, I can't watch it.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I mean, I don't know if he's a part. He's in. They kicked him back to Africa.

[Brian Green]

I think they took his visa because he lied because he said he was someone else.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I'll take him exactly. Once again.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And then he went to. And then fucking phone. I think the story goes is that he said he was someone else, lied on his visa application. And then when they caught him, then he sued the government because he said that they, like, you know, kicked him out on fraudulent terms or whatever. Yeah, I mean, the guy has been a joke for a long time. And it doesn't surprise me that Porsche has. Porsche has eventually caught on.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, she did. So she. And she's back on the Housewives this season. It starts in March.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

So I think you should watch it. But I can also be your liaison.

[Brian Green]

Be my liaison because I don't think I could swallow another episode of another season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. But stories. So this girl comes in with this guy. This guy claims to be a big time music producer that he's working on all of these albums with these people that I had never heard of.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

This is when you were working?

[Brian Green]

When I was working there, yes. Couple nights later, we're at the bar that Simon said he owned but never owned. We're at that bar and then this guy, so he says, let's take it back to my house. Take it back to my crib. And we're like, okay. We go to his crib. It's like me, him and this other person. His crib. There. There isn't even a crib on the floor. There is zero furniture in the place. And he was driving around a Maybach. And I was like, did you just move in here? He's like, nah, I've been here for about a year. I'm switching furniture up. I'm switching furniture up. He had a blow up mattress in the corner. It didn't look like he was switching furniture up. It looked like the furniture had never arrived, ever. There hadn't been a. The rug didn't have any indentations in it. You know what I'm saying? It was just so manufactured. And I was like, wow, dude, you're driving around $150,200,000 car and you do not have a couch to sit on. No knock in your game. I know that's probably. You probably get, you know, lots of action that way. But it was just mysterious and magical to me about how, like, I don't know how magical thinking this all was. And who knows if the Maybach was even his or even real. Maybe he made that up on. Maybe he put that nice Mercedes Benz Maybach symbol on his Toyota. Maybe that's what happened.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Probably.

[Brian Green]

TCB will never pretend to have money because we'll probably never have any. And we're still looking for that airplane. One engine. We don't care if it can get up 100ft in the air. We'll take it. Make sure you send inquiries to tcbpodcast.com let's take a break. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact whatever you're into right now, you know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com college holds.

[Margo Gray]

A mythic place in American culture. It's often considered the best four years of your life and hailed as a beacon of integrity and excellence. But beyond the polished campus tours, there are stories you won't find in the admissions pamphlets.

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

The higher ups are concerned about one.

[N/A]

Thing, and that is avoiding scandal.

[Margo Gray]

It's no wonder that college campuses capture the nation's attention, especially in moments of upheaval. I'm Margo Gray. Each week on the Campus Files podcast, we bring you a new story.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was the biggest, greatest academic scandal.

[Brian Green]

In the history of college sports and.

[Zola Announcer]

Probably in the history of academia.

[Margo Gray]

On Campus Files, we cover everything from rigged admissions to the drama of Greek life.

[Brian Green]

A chancellor having a pornographic double life is an extremely rare case.

[Margo Gray]

Listen to and follow Campus Files, an Odyse original podcast, available now on the free Odysee app and wherever you get your podcasts.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, sure thing.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Hey, you sold that car yet?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, sold it to Carvana.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.

[Brian Green]

The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency. No, interest over 36 months. Yeah. No. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient. Just like that. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No hassle?

[Brian Green]

None.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That is super convenient. Sell your car to Carvana and swap. Hassle for convenience. Pickup fees may apply.

[Brian Green]

I was playing a game with my kids the other night. No, that's playing a game. Sometimes we like to have a dance party.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I love dance parties.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And so the little game is, is that everyone picks a song and then they go up, they are on stage, quote unquote, right? And they do their dancing. And then I judge the contest, right? I say, okay, you get a 5 for this or a 10 for that. I'm really pretty a harsh judge. I'm like the Simon Cowell of dads. Yeah. I'm like, what was that? That was awful. You sound disgusting. You sound like a dead horse. I don't sound like a British person either. What is that voice, Brian? So one of my kids was singing September, which is in the Trolls movie, you know, Body and dancing in September. Body. Ah. Dancing to. Remember. Yeah. So my kid was going, body down. Dancing on September. Body down. Now he's a kid. Like, he mishear. You know, we have all of us misheard lyrics. Yeah. We're just making stuff up. I don't even, you know, I don't even know you could put that sentence together in real life, let alone while he's singing it. So he's just singing what he knows. And so I tried to tell him. I said no. The lyrics are ba da de da, right? Ba di da. However you say that. And I don't even know the lyrics. Is it ba di da?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Ba di da.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's originally Earth, Wind and Fire, right?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. That's the version we were listening to. It's in the Trolls movie. So that's why, you know, they like it September. Hold on one second while we get this right? Okay, here it is. Yeah, it's body Ya.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Body.

[Brian Green]

Body ya's close, Sadie. Yeah. Okay. Body down. Body Ah. And it got me thinking, what are some of the most famous misheard lyrics? Because we do this all the time. It's a. It's a pretty common thing that we hear something that's not there because of the way or the inflection or the accent in the artist's voice. We just don't get it right now. It's pretty. All pretty easy because you got Spotify saying those lyrics to you back in the day. You would have to Open up your tape case cover and get to the bottom of the lyrics. And that is if the artist was generous enough to put the lyrics on there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it wasn't always on there.

[Brian Green]

That's right. Nothing pissed me off more than getting a brand new CD or tape to find out that there was zero information on the inside except for who the fucking engineer was. I don't care. I want to know. You said in that fucking song. Yes, yes. Thank you, Chrissy. It should be mandatory. Mandatory. Minimum. So let's go through some of the 40 of the top misheard. 40 popular misheard lyrics.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, what do you think? And then I'll. I'd love to do that. And then I'll get the end. I'll give you one that's a family favorite in my family.

[Brian Green]

Let's start off with that one.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, my sister when she was younger used to think that, you know that song every time you go, Every time you go take a piece of meat with you. But she thought it said meat every time you.

[Brian Green]

Every time you go you take a piece of meat with you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, yes. She was like, why do they say that?

[Brian Green]

Yes. That is Brian, because he's poor. Every time he goes away he takes some extra meat with him.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That was you for like a string of months. When you were doing the carnivore diet.

[Brian Green]

When I was doing the carnivore diet there was no meat was safe in my house because I was so ravenously hungry because there were zero carbs in my body. Astrid was just feeding me steaks. So expensive. Steak, bacon. I didn't care if it was alive. I was eat. I was killing it and eating it. And to be honest with you, I lost a bunch of weight, but I lost too much weight. Like it went.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

You were really thin.

[Brian Green]

Melted off me and it went quick. So I went back to cream and cereal. I went back to cream and cereal after. After my parathyroid got taken out, I figured, ah, get back to calcium. I need to build my bones back up. Okay, ready? Here we go. Go. As as stated by good housekeeping.com.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, good housekeeping. They're the. Also the ones that gave us the Christmas list.

[Brian Green]

Oh yeah, that's right. You're right. I think we had a Harper's Bazaar one in there too. And I don't know. Anyway, here we go. Ready? Okay. Dancing Queen by abba. We all know Dancing Queen. Feel the beat of the tangerine. Have you. I've never heard that in the lyrics.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

And the.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Is that what it is? It's the tangerine tambourine.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Thank you, Tina. Because Good Housekeeping here didn't bother to put the real lyric in there. They're just telling us the mis.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The miss one.

[Brian Green]

We're gonna have to figure it out on our own. All right. Losing my religion by R.E.M. let's pee in the corner. Let's pee in the spa life. Amazing. Yeah, that's me in the corner. How did you get that one wrong? I know what dumb dumbs are listening to that song, by the way. I saw a video with Michael stuff, and the guy who was doing the video played Michael the original audio that was used for Losing My Religion, the isolated track of his voice. And Michael Stipe started crying when he heard himself in that isolated track. And the guy was like, what's getting you so emotional about that? He's like, it's just so raw and so emotional. Yeah. And I was so young, I realized it makes me think about how much time has passed since he's gone. Michael Stipes getting up there in age, for sure. Do you remember, like, total side note, that R.E.M. signed the biggest record contract in history at the time? It was like, $150 million for five albums with Warner Brothers Music or whatever. It was Universal. Warner Brothers Music. And they never had another hit song after that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They didn't.

[Brian Green]

They didn't. They didn't have one hit song after that. Like, it was a. It was not a good deal for Warner Brothers. Now if they bought the whole catalog, then I could understand.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They're still a classic band.

[Brian Green]

Of course. From ath, Georgia. You're the one that I want. You're the one that I want.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Grease.

[Brian Green]

I've got shoes. They're made of plywood.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I've got chills.

[Brian Green]

They're multiplying. That's not even close.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Who are these people who are mishearing this? Good4U by Selena Gomez, which. I don't know the original song, do you?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

It says, I'm farting carrots.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That can't be it.

[Brian Green]

Obviously. What the real lyric is. I'm 14 carrots.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

14 carrots.

[Brian Green]

14 carrots. Monster by Eminem and Rihanna. It says, I'm friends with the mustard that's under my bed. But of course, the real lyric is, I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed. In sync. It's gonna be me. And people think it's. They saying, it's gotta be me.

[Chumba Casino Announcer]

May.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

May the month.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I realize that NSYNC was not exactly, you know, they weren't I don't know. It wasn't Shakespeare. But why would they write a lyric called it's gonna be May?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

If you just think about that for one second. Old Town Road by Little Nas.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. Old Town Road.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna take my horse to the hotel room I'm gonna ride till I can't no more in the hotel room. Actually, I think I did think it said that.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't know what the.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna take my horse to the Old Town road Old Town Road.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. That was a good song.

[Brian Green]

Stir it up by Bob Marley, which is a fantastic song. Stir it up, little darling Stir it up People say. People think he's saying cereal. No, little darling, cereal.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, how.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Good Housekeeping. Where are they getting this?

[Brian Green]

I think Good Housekeeping is making this up on their own. Or this is an AI product.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Because who thinks he's saying cereal? No, he was a stoner. But I don't think he's saying stir up your cereal. I think Bob is a bit deeper than that. We Will Rock you by Queen. I can understand this one, buddy. You're an old man, hard man Living on a van. Gonna be a big man someday. You got on your face, Big disgrace. Kicking your cat all over the place. It's kicking your can all over the place. And I think the original lyric was actually kicking your ass all over the place. But I think the record company said, no, no, no, no. Blowing in the Wind by Bob Dylan. The 17 minute diatribe. And my fins, my winds are blowing. These ants, my friend, are blowing in the wind. These ants are blowing in the wind.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Definitely not ants.

[Brian Green]

This course. It's these answers, my friend, are blowing through the wind. Royals by Lord.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That was a good song.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it is. You can call me Bean. I don't know which part of the song this comes in, but she says you can call me or you can call me Green Bean. She says you can call me Queen Bee.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Queen Bee. Yeah, that makes more sense.

[Brian Green]

Hold me close My Tyner Dancer by Elton John.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. That's one that's been on my list. Lists?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, homie. Ghost.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

My Tony Danza, that's always on the list.

[Brian Green]

I guess that's not a far fetch. I mean, you know, Elton's a man with certain acquired tastes. Who. Who doesn't like a. Who doesn't. Who didn't like Tony danza in the 80s for five minutes? Tony Danza for five minutes in the 80s was just your regular old Joe guy that everyone could kind of, you know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, he was the housekeeper of the house on who's the Boss.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that's right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I forgot that he was the housekeeper in show.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Very forward for that time.

[Brian Green]

How long did who's the Boss stay on?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was on for a long time. I mean, I remember growing up with it.

[Brian Green]

Alyssa Milano.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

Tony, who was one of my first crushes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Judith Light.

[Brian Green]

Judith Light, that's right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Career mom.

[Brian Green]

Wasn't there a guy in there, too? Danny Masterson. Well, not Danny Masterson that he was in a different. That Danny Masterson is a guy that's in jail currently.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, he was that 70s show.

[Brian Green]

I forgot. I forgot who the kid was, but. Waterfalls by tlc. Okay, Go, go, Jason. Waterfalls. Go, go, Jason. Waterfalls. No, don't go chasing waterfalls. Blank Space by Taylor Swift. Got a lot of Starbucks lovers. Okay, star cross lovers. Obviously. Starbucks lovers. What the good fuck is going on there? Empire State of Mind by Jay Z and Alicia Keys. Yep. Concrete jungle, wet dream, tomato. Wet dream, tomato.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Where dreams are made of.

[Brian Green]

I'm calling your bullshit on this.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Good Housekeeping is an AI this must.

[Brian Green]

Be AI because who's who in the world is saying Concrete jungle, wet dream, tomato. It doesn't even come close to sounding like that. Baby, Baby by Amy Grant. Don't know that song. Gonna move on. Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera. Come, come, come and let me meow Come, come, come and let me meow no, I don't even remember that part of the song. Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix. This one is a very frequently misheard lyric. Excuse me while I kiss this guy. But it's Excuse me while I kiss the guy. Message in a Bottle by the police. A year has passed since I broke my nose.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That's funny.

[Brian Green]

A year has passed since I wrote my note. Since I wrote this note. Humans by the Killers. Are we human or are we denser? Denser D E. Denser S E, R. What is denser, dancer? Denser like Dense, like thicker. So stupid.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

How about Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi? Whoa. Living on a prayer of prayer. Doesn't make a difference if we're naked or not if we make it or not.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I like the naked or not.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, actually, I could go with that. Last time we saw Bon Jovi, he wasn't doing so hot. Do you remember a couple years ago when we reviewed Bon Jovi doing a live concert? And it was just like, his voice was extraordinarily torn up? He couldn't hit a note to save his life.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He had a real problem he had.

[Brian Green]

A real problem, so I forgive him. I don't think I've ever. I don't think I've ever apologized. I do a lot of apologizing on this show, in case you're just joining. So here's yet another apology on behalf of Brian. I'm sorry. Yeah. Straight to Bon Jovi. I thought you were just being bad at singing, but apparently you had a throat issue, so there you go. Lucy in the sky with Diamonds. The girl with Kaleidoscope. The girl with Kaleidos goes by. Oh, it's the girl with the kaleidoscope eyes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Kaleidos. Really?

[Brian Green]

Yes. This is definitely AI why would they run this with AI like this? I mean, I guess AI is taking over the world. World. Bad Moon Rising by Credence There's a bathroom on the right. There's a bathroom on the right. That's a good one. I'm using that one. Next time I hear that song. Like a virgin McDonald. Like a virgin touched for the 31st time like a virgin the first 31st time my name is Bonnie Bonnie Blue Bonnie Blue Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty Running down a Drain that could be my theme song for the other day. And some of these, I don't know. So. Rock the Kasbah by the Clash Rock the Cat Box Rock the cat Box if you really don't. Wait. Cherie don't like it. Rock the Casbah. And it's not she really don't like it. It's Sharia don't like it. We're talking about Sharia law. Paradise City by Guns N Roses Take me down to a very nice city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty Take me down. It's the fucking name of the song.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Paradise City. You dumbed. Up Comes Panama by Van Halen. Animal. Animal. It's the name of the fucking song.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Although I see why it's easy to get confused because of the way that he sings it. Let's see. Paradise by Coldplay. Don't know. That one smells like Teens. Spirit by Nirvana. Now, if you have a muddle mouth full of rocks, then I can understand why it might be hard to understand some of your lyrics. And it wasn't like. Like, Kurt was always singing so crisp and clearly. Right. I'm a lion, I'm a vinyl I'm a skittle, I'm a beetle.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, you're right, though. I. I think at the time when that song first came out, I did not know what he was saying.

[Brian Green]

A mulatto. An albino A mosquito. My libido. That's righto. Yeah. I'm a Believer by the Monkeys Then I saw her face. Now I'm gonna leave her. That's awesome. And now I saw her face and I'm gonna leave her. That's a song for an ugly girl. Do you chase again?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

The name of the song.

[Brian Green]

Yes, that's the. Oh, yeah, that's true. It's the name of the fucking song. I'm a believer. Summer of 69 by Brian Eddie Adams. Great song.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I love that. That's high.

[Brian Green]

I got my first real sex dream.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But that doesn't make sense for the next part. Bought it at the five and died.

[Brian Green]

At the five and dime Blinded by the light that's. That's a hard one, that. That's a hard one.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, yeah. Wrapped up like a douche.

[Brian Green]

Wrapped up like a douche. You know the rumor in the night Blinded by the light but it's deuce. It's revved up like a deuce. Another runner in the night night. But he clearly says douche in there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It sounds like it must be.

[Brian Green]

I think he slyly put that in there because if you. I've listened to that song so many times for the purpose of trying to figure out if he's actually saying douche. I did this. Like, I went through this exercise one night high, and I listened to that song. I must have been 20 times in a row. He says the word douche even though it's deuce. He says douche. Clearly. He says clearly. And one more for shits and giggles. Hold on one second. There was one more that I wanted to do here. Oh, did I lose it? I might have lost it. I have a Cyndi Lauper one.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Okay, go for it. Do you know Time After Time? Yes.

[Brian Green]

Where she says.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And you say, go slow. My kids to this day swear.

[Brian Green]

She says.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

And you say coleslaw, and you say coleslaw. Yeah, it's whatever you hear at the time.

[Brian Green]

You know, listen, this is a fun game. We. I've played this a lot in my life. It's a fun game. Misheard lyrics. And, you know, we all interpret things the way that we interpret them. And to be fair, like, artistry is artistry, and lyric writing is not always straightforward. So there's a lot of people. I mean, you want a fun game? Find someone that has never read a lyric for Pearl Jam and see if they can figure out Yellow Ledbetter, Black Jeremy, Alive, any of the early works of Eddie Vedder and see if they can understand anything that he's saying. I misheard those lyrics. I made them up in my head. I loved Pearl Jam from the moment I heard them. And I made up so many lyrics to a live, even flow.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, you had to.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, freezing rather see you sleeping with a guy named Billy. It's fantasy of slipping on a pillow made of concrete. Okay, all right, let's take a break and then we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4334. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Looking to improve your diet in the new year? Try seeing a personal dietitian with Nurse Nourish. Nourish has hundreds of dietitians who specialize in a variety of health concerns, including weight loss, gut health, and more. Meet with your dietitian online and message them anytime through the Nourish app. Nourish accepts hundreds of insurance plans. 94% of patients pay $0 out of pocket. Find your personal [e-mail] that's usenourish.com you.

[N/A]

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[Brian Green]

All right. Well, speaking of music news, a couple of old geezer things I think I should take care of. First of all, the Eagles, I think, are in the middle of their run over there.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

In the Sphere.

[Brian Green]

In the Sphere. And. Yeah, and so I think they played 25 shows and then announced that they were doing some more shows. So I saw some footage of it. Listen, I like the Eagles, okay? Like, it's not my favorite band in the world. It's not the worst band in the world. I think Don Henley did some better work than the Eagles ever did. But anyway, anyway, I regress to me, like, I saw some of the footage. It's. I don't know that the Eagles are the right band to have at the Sphere. Like, okay, you can make some. You could make any imagery at the Sphere, I'm sure, for the Sphere. And people would pay to see it to any music because it's just such a marvel of technology.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It's beautiful, but I just don't think there's only so much Hotel California.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there's only so many Hotel California, you know, there's only so many images you can put to Hotel California before you're just stretching to make something fit there. There are so many other bands that I think would be great there. Have David Gilmore play there. Have Roger Waters do his version of the Wall, like his very faithful version of the Wall. Have him do that. And I know they got to be talking to some of these people. They have to be. And I would imagine that if you do something like the Wall at the Sphere, it's got to take an immense amount of time to put all of that imagery together. But that's one I would pay to see a lot of money on. And I would take a lot of lsd. I'm just saying that right up front. Ayahuasca, Pink Floyd, the Wall. Put a reunion together. Put a reunion together for Pink Floyd the Wall. Get David Gilmour and Roger Waters to stop bitching at each other. Get them in a room together and have them play that fucking Wall. And that's what I would pay $5,000 to see, hands down, all day of the week. Wouldn't you?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes, I would love to see that.

[Brian Green]

But I just don't know about the eagle. I'm sorry, let me bash on the Eagles.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But, you know, I said the same thing because, you know, I went out there to go see the Dead and that was awesome. And then the. The next up was the Eagles and I was like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what they're gonna do for that. Especially compared to the Grateful Dead. And there was that, you know, the New Year's show that went down with that EDM guy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Anorax or whatever. Enema. Enema.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

A N Y M A. However you wanna pronounce that.

[Brian Green]

Listen, those visuals were crazy stunning.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I watched so many videos on that. I went down a rabbit hole and I was like, holy shit, that is so good.

[Brian Green]

Those visuals were stunning on Instagram. They were stunning. Like on this tiny little screen, they were stunning. And I can only imagine what it was like to be there. And I had never ever in my life ever heard of this human being. But he filled the place, I think two nights in a row.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh yeah, he's coming back too.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

They're bringing him back.

[Brian Green]

Listen, Fish, Grateful Dead, you know, Goose, Geese, Gossards, I don't know where all the geese and goose bands that are out there. All these like jam bands that have visuals and light shows as a part of the kind of the nomenclature of what goes on and on every show. Those are the people, I think, that could be filling the sphere with really cool opportunities to embed those visuals further into their fans minds. The Eagles were never known for their visuals. I don't remember Don Henley ever being the guy who. You would be like, hey man, let's take some mushrooms and go see Don Henley. It just. It just does. It doesn't make sense. I don't know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

To me, it doesn't make sense. Just doesn't make sense.

[Brian Green]

I take Skinny John Popper before I went and saw the Eagles, you know what I'm saying? Skinny John Popper, Blues Traveler. I would take them beforehand. And where's Dave Matthews? Why isn't he getting in on all this action? Even though he's not really known for his visuals either. I could see Dave Matthews making something out of it, right? But yet I think the improv bands like Fish. It takes so much work to like hold yourself back from just going apesh crazy like you would on any Other show. But apparently the fish run was amazing, too.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I heard that, too.

[Brian Green]

Like jam bands. Don't like jam bands. Everybody can agree when we're on mushrooms that fish is okay.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Okay. All right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I don't care who you are, be. You can complain about fish all day long. Take some mushrooms. You like fish. Let me tell you a little story. I have a daughter. I have many daughters, but I have one daughters in specific. Specific. And she's a dancer and a twirler and a gymnast and the whole nine yards. Yes, she is. She's using her body. She's aware of herself and the way that her body moves. And she's very good at gymnastics and dancing and all this other stuff. So the other day, just on a lark, I played some live version of Fire on the Mountain. And instantly my daughter started spinning and twirling and noodling like a moron, like we all do when we hear that song. Because now all this. We're thrown back to 1963, topless, you know, spinning around in our funny skirts and hula hoops. It was amazing. I love that I played that music. And it was almost.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It was just like instinct.

[Brian Green]

It was instinct. It was like it was in her DNA to act like a fucking hippie the second I put on something hippy.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Ish. That's fantastic.

[Brian Green]

So we're having our dance party last night and it's her turn. And she says, play me Fire on the Mountain. And I'm like, I created a fucking hippie. Yes. God damn it. Now I know she's gonna be sleeping with dreadheaded boys don't have jobs and drive shitty cars without safety equipment. It's all going to shit. It's all going to hell in a handbag.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Next one to no one.

[Brian Green]

And she's like, far. She's far. And she's doing the noodle. It was insane. I swear to God. I have a video of it. She just turned into a hippie the second she heard the song. Crazy Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy Osbourne is announcing, or Sharon is announcing, that Ozzy Osbourne, full stop, will have his last show at the One Day Music Fest.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

That one day Steph and I like to say farewell tour. Maybe.

[Brian Green]

Maybe it's my close to last show. It's almost the last.

[Rachel]

To the last.

[Brian Green]

It's the last before the last. Listen, we heard that about Steven Tyler, too. And then I see Steven Tyler's doing a. This is really rich coming from Steven Tyler. I. I believe anything that helps anybody, any kind of charity that's doing any kind of good is great news. But he's got a charity called Janie's. Whatever Janie says or Janie does or Janie, whatever. Based on the song Janie's Got a Gun, a very famous song from the late 90s, early 2000, late 90s. He now has a charity that helps young ladies in whatever capacity they help young ladies. And so he's raising money for it. So I see Steven Tyler there with all those scarfs on that damn microphone, twirling and whirling around all different clubs in la, you know, with famous other people, like the Robinson Brothers from Black Crows. And I think I saw Miley Cyrus up there. And then he was doing. He was at the comedy club in la, the Comedy Store. And he. People, you know, there were comedians and then there were also musicians and he got out there and sang a few songs. I thought we got told that Steve Aerosmith broke up because Steven Tyler didn't have a voice in anymore. And I was out there acting like an idiot, singing, singing all these songs with everybody else. I want an explanation, full explanation from Aerosmith as to why they really broke up. Do you remember? I don't. I want to remind you of this. Not that anyone cares this much about Aerosmith anymore. I certainly don't. But I went through my Arab. I think we all went through our Aerosmith phase. If you're of a certain age, you remember Pump and pump and Pump. You remember that album? It was a big one. Every single song on that album was a runaway hit. Every single song. So you remember that during the Pandemic, their drummer, I think Kramer is his last name, Joey Kramer. Joey Kramer got locked out of practice. Do you remember this? They were practicing for an upcoming tour and he got locked out of the practice and there was like some kind, kind of person standing at the door saying, no, you're not allowed in. And he was like, but I'm part of the band. And he's like, yeah, not. Not anymore, dude. So he basically got told when he showed up for practice. Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

And they claimed that he was on painkillers and he couldn't do the job anymore or whatever. That's rich coming from Steven Tyler. Is it? Steven Tyler, the one who left a 14 year old in a burning apartment so that no one would find out she was pregnant or something like that. Do you remember that story now?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I don't remember that really. It's been known that he's had lots, lots of pill problems and. As well as other drugs.

[Brian Green]

Yes. No shame in that. There's lots of people that have addiction problems. There is. I'm not shaming anybody with an addiction problem. I'm saying it's a little rich that now he's got a charity that helps young women when he wasn't, when he wasn't doing any of that back in the day, he was impregnating young women, not helping them. And now Aerosmith's broken up, but not really. I mean, they're broken up because of his voice, but his voice is still being used other places. There's something else going on there, and I want a full explanation right now. As well as. Is this Ozzy Osbourne's really his last concert, or is Sharon just trying to sell tickets?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, both, probably.

[Brian Green]

Here's the thing about Ozzy. Never the world's biggest Ozzy Osbourne fan. Musically, musically, not my thing. Black Sabbath wasn't my necessarily my thing. He had that one song with that Lita Ford. Remember, you told me lies, you told me brides they're the nan. And now I feel so rage. Mama, I'm coming home. Do you remember that song? Okay. All right.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

He had that one song, some Black Sabbath stuff. But, yeah, it was never in my wheelhouse to pop on.

[Brian Green]

Sharon has taken control of his.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

She always has been.

[Brian Green]

Yes, at some point in the 70s or 80s or whenever they got married, she took over his career and she did wonderful things for the guy. She sobered him up, she straightened him out. Although I, I, if anybody's ever seen any of the Osbournes, the television show, I think you would have had. Have a tough time arguing that Ozzie was sober. But okay, let's make the assumption that he's on some medication for purposes. But she took over that career and she really helped him because he was a fucking hot mess. Yes, everybody needs a Sharon Osborne in their life. But then Sharon has a. Sharon has a. A way of making everything a little bit like, hyperbolic. Do you know what I'm saying? She's always blowing everything up. I think this is the fifth time that Ozzy Osbourne is going to do his last concert. He was on his last two or six years ago. He was gonna make his last festival appearance three years ago. He made his last television appearance two years ago, but none of her. His last appearance. But this time she says full stop, it's his last appearance. I doubt it. We'll see. I think this is just. The Eagles also have done six farewell tours, and yet they have yet to say farewell.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I know I don't know why anybody says it anymore.

[Brian Green]

Don't say it. Don't say it. Just sayonara for now, right? We're leaving. We're old.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

We might be gone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Might wanna check us out again.

[Brian Green]

Hey, listen. This is the commercial break farewell show. For all I know. Could be the commercial breaks farewell show. As a matter of fact, every episode.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Consider every episode from now on to the next episode. Because that's our farewell.

[Brian Green]

When will that happen? I don't know. Tomorrow maybe, if I'm still around. If I'm not, I don't know. If I'm not feeling good, maybe I don't do it. This is the commercial breaks absolute last show. Forget it. We're not doing one tomorrow until we show up tomorrow to do yet another one. Okay, don't say that. That's just silliness. We know you're just trying to sell tickets, Sharon. We know that Ozzy's gonna show up up some. You're gonna have to roll him out there to pay some bills at some point. You're roll Ozzy out there and have him do a little thing. Guy's 78 years old. This could very well be his farewell show. Unless then you see that guy that they're still rolling out there. What's his name?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Oh, Frankie Valli.

[Brian Green]

Frankie Valli. Frankie Valli is 117 years old. He is a robot. He is literally has a mechanical head and mouth. And he is still going out there and singing live. Is he really singing? I don't know. Some of it. Yeah, some of it. I think. I think he's got autotune and a backing track. But I think he's trying to get some breath out of that mouth. I'm not even sure the guy takes a full breath anymore. But you know what? They put him on a dolly and they roll him out there every night and they stand him up and they use a computer to make his hands move. And the guy goes out there is Chuck E. Cheese. Yes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Animatronic.

[Brian Green]

Yes, he is Chuck E. Cheese. That's who he is. They literally made him an electronic man. And he goes out there with his little robot wheels and he goes out there and he sings for 30 minutes.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I say you should always have a purpose in life that keeps you going.

[Brian Green]

I don't disagree with that. And that's why I think Ozzy is not going to have his last, his final farewell show at this festival. Because I think that if you're a musician or whatever it is you do in life. Like my. My grandfather was 99 years old in a retirement home with a hip that wouldn't heal colon cancer and could barely speak any kind of English. And the guy, and he was a former FBI agent till the day that he passed away. The day before he passed away, he asked one of the nurses to take his resume and fax it to a phone number. And they would pretend to do that. They would pretend to do that because it was giving him some kind of purpose. So listen, this might be the commercial breaks farewell show. Or we, Chrissy and I might be doing this until our 98th birthday.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Chuck E. Cheese.

[Brian Green]

Until. Yeah, until we're in Chuck E. Cheese mode. Tina's gotta roll us out here.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

There's strings.

[Brian Green]

Yes, until AI is. AI is doing my voice and I'm just here going till I have no teeth. Actually, you know what? I'll always have teeth because I know that I go get them in Turkey. That's what I know.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Veneers.

[Brian Green]

All right, well, will we see you tomorrow? Tomorrow? I don't know. I don't know. Hey, once again, I want to thank Andrew. Now I'm thinking about me doing this. It well into my retirement days. Yes, yes. I'm getting close to retirement age.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Well, I.

[Brian Green]

When you think about. About it, well, retirement age back in the 60s, now it's, you know, now you work till you're 72 or whatever it is.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

But yeah, we'll be down at the Villages, no doubt, doing the show.

[Brian Green]

I mean, I hear, listen, I heard the Villages has taken a turn. And I was watching a reel about people in the Villages racing their golf carts. That's what they're doing, racing golf carts up and down the street. It's like a parade. And some guy was driving in the wrong direction and smacked into another golf cart. And the guy who was driving one of the golf carts went flying out into the street. It was like really intense. And I was like, geez, they have fun down there. But it's dangerous.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

It can be.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Listen, could be Chrissy and I. Could be Chrissy and I. All right, thanks to Andrew Callahan. I'm going to put links in the show notes to go to his Patreon and watch the brand new directorial independent directorial date debut. Not his directorial debut, but the first one he's directed independently. Dear Kelly, I think it's a movie you must watch to have a little bit of a better understanding of why this country is so polarized, at least for some people. Why this country is so polarized and how easy it is to get sucked into extremism. And remember, like my father in law says, ay Brian. And also extremes on both sides end up in the same place. The certain remember that. I don't know what it means but it sounds really smart so I'm gonna say it. 212-433-3TCB 212-433-3822 if you want to hear your voice on the commercial break, leave us a message, your salutations, your goodwills, your good wishes, or just talk about us one way or the other. We'll probably play it on our wish tour. Fare thee well. Fare thee well. So go ahead, text us, leave us a voicemail. You may be on the next episode of the commercial break. TCBpodcast.com all the audio, all the video right there from one location and your free sticker at the contact us button at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break. Thanks, Dr. Phil. You're welcome, Brian. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now?

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I love you.

[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you and best to you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

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[Brian Green]

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[Kristen Joy Hoadley]

Simple.

[N/A]

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[Brian Green]

SA if you got a softy in your brain, you're gonna have a softy in your pants. You know what I'm.