Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!

Summary

The Commercial Break — “Health, Wealth & A Palladium Ping-Pang!”

Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Date: May 21, 2025

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Overview

In this riotously funny, delightfully off-kilter episode of The Commercial Break, Bryan and Krissy ride through their signature tangents, starting with preschool graduation chaos and landing firmly in the bizarre world of "Palladian Light Language" Instagram influencers. Along the way, they detour through everyday relationship struggles, polyamorous reality TV families, and philosophical reflections on hope, loneliness, and cultish new age grifts. True to The Commercial Break’s style, the episode blends hilarious personal anecdotes, pop culture mockery, and earnest takes on human connection, all while never taking itself too seriously.

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Preschool Graduation: The Parenting Olympics

[02:19 – 20:23]

• Bryan and Krissy recount the spectacle of their kids’ “non-graduation” ceremonies—a hilarious play-by-play featuring stage fright, over-zealous parents, and the logistical nightmare of getting good seats:
  • Kids practice performance routines all year, but freeze up on "stage."
  • Bryan: “The second those kids walk out there, it’s like stage fright. The principal...is like, ‘let’s all not scare them. I’m going to be very upset if you scare them.’” (03:04)
  • One child literally plays dead (“like a roly poly”), another flees into the crowd, a third faces the wall.
  • Crisscross applesauce becomes a parental Olympic event for front-row access.
  • Bryan finds himself with strangers sitting so close “their backs against my knees.”
• The struggle to add enough chairs for the crowd turns into a power struggle with a “Biff Johnson” character who “cannot move the stack one inch” (13:14), later becoming Bryan’s “nemesis” when he’s way too close in the post-ceremony scrum.

Notable Quote

“It’s weird. It’s like no personal space day at the pre K.”
— Bryan Green (19:54)

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Nostalgia & Life’s Little Awkwardness

[20:23 – 22:47]

• The hosts riff on lack of personal space in public (grocery stores, amusement parks, etc.).
• Quick aside about “Dazed and Confused” as the ultimate movie beginning song—“It’s high time we watch that movie again.” (21:36)
• Brief Rachel interlude (“Best to you and Astrid!”), plugging the show's social media and encouraging listener interaction.

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“Marital Hatred” and Relationship Real Talk

[22:47 – 36:54]

• Bryan shares a Tim Ferriss podcast clip about the concept of “normal marital hatred”:
  • Relationships cycle through “harmony, disharmony, repair… closeness, disruption and a return to closeness.”
  • Quoting a marriage expert: “The first day of your real marriage is when you turn to your partner and say, ‘This was a mistake…I’ve been had.’”
  • Bryan and Krissy analyze the honeymoon facade, the “mating dance,” and the emotional work of long-term relationships:
    • Bryan: “You put on your best feathers, you do your best dance…just like those birds that have pretty feathers or baboons whose butts get all pink and red and rosy.” (28:03)
    • The challenge is to “be prepared for the eventual change…and that’s okay.”
  • Kids—and even marriage—don’t “fix” relationships: “If the waters are choppy now, you gotta get to calmer waters before you decide to sail on. That’s it. Period. End of sentence.” (35:13)

Notable Quotes

“It’s not always going to be the same thing as it was the very first day.”
— Bryan Green (33:38)

“Kids do not fix anything. Marriage does not fix anything. Moving in does not fix anything...Fucking fixes some things.”
— Bryan Green (36:19)

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Pop Culture: TLC’s Poly Family Dramedy

[36:54 – 39:58]

• The hosts roast TLC’s new “Poly Family” show—a “closed quad” where two couples swap partners nightly but the men apparently despise each other:
  • “This is one long episode of Wife Swap.” — Bryan
  • “They do not know who the father of any of the children are.” (38:58)
• Krissy describes the “miserable” logistics of so many small kids and swapped partners, while Bryan’s fascinated by the interpersonal conflict—he suspects it’s more grift than actual harmony.

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Big Announcement: TCB’s Endless Day

[39:58 – 45:34]

• The upcoming May 31 “12-Hour Birthday Bash” event—officially titled “TCB’s Endless Day,” sponsored by Five Hour Energy.
  • 12+ episodes in 12+ hours, “dropping one every hour until we drop one…on the floor here in the studio.” (62:04)
  • Five Hour Energy to provide all the (literal) fuel.
• “We’ve already been doing this for five years—like, our first episode came out on April 23rd or something like that…But we’re too lazy to actually do it, you know?” (44:45)
• Listener engagement details (how to call/text, free stickers).

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The “Palladian Light Language” Instagram Craze

[45:34 – 61:54]

• Bryan deep-dives into the exploding trend of young women—and some men—on Instagram claiming to be alien “Palladian starseeds.”
  • They offer to “activate” followers’ abundance/health/wealth via mysterious “light language” videos, often for $$$:
    • Bryan: “She was claiming to be a light being from another universe…only she could talk to the aliens. But you could learn it if you spent $10,000 on a course with her.” (46:30)
    • Most followers buy in “hook, line, and sinker”—it’s cultish, and perhaps dangerous for the vulnerable.
  • Linguistic experts comment in their reels: most of these “languages” are badly-imitated gibberish, not trance states.
• Clips are played:
  • Example: A woman murmurs faux-ethnic syllables while seductively rubbing a rose over her body.
  • Krissy: “Anchoring you into your soul's highest vibrational expression of divine abundance.” (52:45) — deadpan, mocking the pitch-speak.
  • Bryan: “Who doesn’t want sacred divine abundance?...Who doesn’t want a $400 million jet that they can ride around like these preachers do?” (57:15)
• MLM and cult comparisons ensue:
  • “It’s basically MLM for your soul.” — Bryan (58:31)
  • Corollary to preachers/televangelists promising “abundance” for donations: “They’re playing an age-old parlor trick…as my daughter would say, which is to make you believe that you too can be just as rich and healthy and wealthy and loved as they are…if you only follow the steps they have behind this paywall or…next retreat.” (57:20 – 58:31)
• The segment closes with the ultimate truth: “Hope is the most expensive thing at a strip club.” (59:54)

Memorable Quotes

“If you’re a Palladian, then you will activate when you hear certain languages…your Palladian penis will come alive.”
— Bryan Green (57:01)

“It’s not particularly hard to understand; it’s basically MLM for your soul.”
— Bryan Green (58:31)

“Do you know what the most expensive thing at a strip club is, Chrissy?”
“Hope.”
— Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley (59:54)

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Final Thoughts & Outro

[61:54 – End]

• Bryan and Krissy reflect on the absurdity of internet grifts, the human need for connection (and hope), and their underdog status:
  • “Meanwhile, we can’t get five people to follow us on Instagram and some of these girls have 20 million followers…A lot of people believe this. And that’s the saddest part.” (61:54)
• Show closes with banter about being “all fucked,” prepping for TCB’s endless birthday event, and the perennial “Best to you and Astrid!”

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Key Timestamps

• 02:19 — Preschool graduation circus begins
• 13:14 — The “Biff Johnson” chair-moving debacle
• 22:47 — Bryan introduces the “marital hatred” segment
• 28:03 — Bird mating dance analogy
• 36:54 — Poly Family show discussion
• 39:58 — TCB’s Endless Day announcement
• 46:25 — Introduction to Palladian Light Language girls
• 50:50 — Compilation of light language influencer clips
• 57:01 — “Activate your Palladian penis” moment
• 58:31 — “MLM for your soul” insight
• 59:54 — The “Hope” analogy

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Summary

This episode of The Commercial Break is a showcase of the show’s signature freewheeling style—irreverent, self-deprecating, and oddly insightful. The hosts blend personal chaos, pop culture takes, and skepticism toward anything promising “quick enlightenment” or “sacred abundance.” Listeners get a mix of family comedy, real talk about relationships, and a hilarious exposé on the latest new-age Instagram hustle—proving once again that health, wealth, and Palladian ping-pang are all best approached with a heavy dose of skepticism…and humor.

Transcript

[Brian Green]

Making your way in the world today Takes everything you've got. Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's the story? Boy meets beer, Boy drinks beer, boy gets another beer. Would you like to get away? How are you today, Mr. Peterson? Never been better, Woody. Just once I'd like to be better. I got good news, everybody. Longer looking for a job, now begging for one. Hey, everybody. Norm. How you doing, Norm? What do you know?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Not enough.

[Brian Green]

Afternoon, everybody.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Morning.

[Astrid]

Hey, what's happening, Norm?

[Brian Green]

That was a dog eat dog world, Sammy. And I'm wearing milk bone underwear. On this episode of the commercial break. Some of them are Palladians, Some of them are more generic alien light language girls. Yes, the Palladians, but the Palladians is.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A species of aliens.

[Brian Green]

It's a species of aliens and they believe that they've been dropped down here on Earth and they've co mingled co mated with humans.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay? That's how the hybrids happen.

[Brian Green]

That's the hybrids happening. And that if you're a Palladian, then you will activate when you hear certain languages and you will activate your Palladian penis. Your Palladian penis. Your Palladian penis will come alive and.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Then all of a sudden you're gonna have wealth and abundance. Is that what it is? Cause the old wealth and abundance trick.

[Brian Green]

That'S how they get you. That's how they get you. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley. Best, best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. It was a big day around the household as many of the children graduated from their respective non graduating agents.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Yes, non graduating classes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Some ceremonial things.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, ceremonial. That means I gotta wake up entirely too early, sit through entirely too long of a ceremony. But man, are they cute.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They are cute.

[Brian Green]

Are they cute. I find myself being very cheesy during these things. I'm dancing with them, I'm encouraging them. I'm like. Because any parent of any young kid will know this is that they practice this shit like all year long. They start at the literally the first day of school, okay? We've a big thing at the end of the year and so here we go. You know, happy duty down. Dee clapped his little pansies. Happy duty down deep. But his little feet, you know, whatever it is, and they all, you know, stomp their feet and clap their hands and do little motions above Their head. And you know how it goes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I do.

[Brian Green]

And so they practice every day for the entire year for like 262 goddamn days. Is now the school year. They do this.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And then weeks long breaks.

[Brian Green]

Yes, and then weeks long breaks. They come home and they say play that song. So I can. They're doing it in the kitchen and everything. It's so cute. And you're like, they're gonna kill it. This is my kid is Taylor Swift incarnate. Little Michael Jackson in the works. And then the second they walk out on that little. It's not even a stage where just. It's just like a hall where they're at. And they've taped off a little area and put a backdrop. And the second those kids walk out there, it's like stays fright. So the principal, who we know is a very lovely lady, she comes out and she's like, okay, now we're going to bring out the very little ones first. And because they are very scared of loud noises, let's all not scare them. I'm going to be very upset if you scare them. And there's like 250 people. Grandmas, moms, dads, uncles, aunts, friends of the family and weird creepers who just found their way into the room. Yes. The cavalry is out. We've all come out and caught Caffeine High. All of us. Right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Was the 5:30?

[Brian Green]

No, but I'll tell you, I'll tell you about. There's always strange ones in the crowd anywhere you go. And I'll explain. There was a few. So we get the front row because Astrid is involved in the school. I don't want to give away too many details, but Astrid's involved in the school so we may managed to score. And by the way, this is a hot ticket. Like if you don't get there 40 minutes early, you're not gonna have a chair anywhere where you can see your child. Yeah, but what is permissible and what does happen is that if your child's class comes out, then you can run up to the front, sit down in front of them Indian style. Right. I don't know what they call that. Crossy leggies or whatever it is, you know, crisscross applesauce. That's crisscross applesauce.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And that's obnoxious to see a bunch of 30, 40 year olds crisscross applesauce. It just is. I'm sorry. But I understand because I did it too. The first couple years my kids were at this, this school, we did not know the gig. So we always had a shitty parking spot and we'd have to stand in the back of the hall and then run up crisscross applesauce. And when the kids came out or when our. We had one kid at the time. So we now we have front row seats. Because Astron's like a queen over at that school. She does a million fucking things for all those kids and the teachers and stuff like that. So. So we have the whole front row there and. And in it over at the Pre K. Yeah, at the Little Darlings Preschool. That's right. Little Darlings Growth and Development Preschool or whatever it's called. So principal gives us the warning before the show starts. Now I've been to like six of these already, so I already know this is going to be a two hour long event. And there are only five classes in the entirety of the school. Each kid's classroom comes out and they do like five songs. Excuse me, three to four songs, right. And there's between five and 12 kids in each class. So the first kids come out, we're talking two and three year olds, right? Two and three year olds come out. There's five of them. They all come out. They are all. Deer in a headlights frozen. No one. You could hear a pin drop. No one in the audience says a word. It's like hushed. It's like hushed. Harangue. We're all like, good job.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, okay.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Everybody's not just sitting there stone faced.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But I gotta be honest, I'm that age and people are just whispering at me from the crowd. And I'm more scared than I would be if you just go ahead and yell at me. You know what I'm saying? Just give me a little encouragement.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So here they are, they're all like there in the headlights. Like this song starts. First kid drops to the floor. Somatic response to stress. He drops to the floor. He rolls over, he lays down. He's taking a nap. He wants to take a nap.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He plays. He kind of did the play.

[Brian Green]

Dead. He played dead. That's what he did. He's like a roly poly. He just rolled up and just laid on the floor.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The turtle put his head in the.

[Brian Green]

Cutest little girl in the corner. She didn't make it three seconds in the song. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy runs off into the crowd, right? So now there's one, there's three left. There's one girl who's kind of trying to make it work. Two teachers who are acting like complete buffoons. You Know, doing all of the motions, trying to. Yeah. Poor ladies. I mean, listen, I say buffoon, not in a bad way. They're just trying their best to get these kids to do anything. Like show them that I worked on. On you at all this year. Please, I need a job. Next year. Show me that I can do something. Third kid runs backwards into the. Into the backdrop and plants his face back there. He's just. Now he's won't face the crowd. So now we got one girl, one boy, one girl kind of doing a little bit of a dance. And the one boy just staring off into the sunset. He doesn't want to look at anybody. He's making no eye contact whatsoever. And I swear to God, I just feel like I feel for all of this, because I've been there. I've done it. I've watched my kid freeze.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. I remember you saying yes.

[Brian Green]

I've. Yeah, I've watched my kid do it in the kitchen. As if they are, you know, as if it's the American Music Awards, like, professional lighting, stage. Stage direction. They've done the whole thing. And then they get out there and they can't remember to breathe. Like, I mean, that's it. So now we've got one girl who's kind of. Kind of trying. And we've got one kid, deer in the headlights. And so I feel for him. So he's kind of turning his head, like, left and right, and we make eye contact. And I'm like, you got this. I got. You got this. Because I know I have that goofy face that kids like. I just do. I know I've got that, like, kind of clownish. Oh, he could be dangerous, but he's kind of funny. Look at those ears on that guy. Look at the ears on that guy. That's kind of cool. I like that. So I go, you got this, Chrissy. The kid screams, he cries. He runs into the crowd. He doesn't even know where his parents are. He just runs into the crowd. The teacher's trying to stop him. He just runs. So now we've got one soldier left. That's it. One soldier amongst all of them.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And at this point, it's gotta be about done.

[Brian Green]

Now. We're not even one minute into the first song. Well, the teachers are, like, trying to wrangle them up and stuff too. Like, you know, trying to put them back on stage. The one kid just refused to get off the floor, literally. They were. He had like a. He was playing dead. Like, they were trying to yank him up to get him on his pants. There was one girl who pulled down her pants.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God.

[Brian Green]

And she was crying, and she was like, uh, oh, uh, oh, uh, oh. I was laughing. So I know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You can't help it.

[Brian Green]

You can't. They're so cute. Because Gustavo's in town here, too. For Gustavo.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes, Gustavo.

[Brian Green]

Gustavu. Gustavo. Because Gustavo's in town, and he's sitting next to me, and we are just. It's. It's a good time. Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's entertaining, I'm sure.

[Brian Green]

But I'm gonna give a couple of hints and tricks and tips to the parents who in the future will be going through this. I agree. You should be allowed to get up close when your kid's doing this. Like, it's not my kid, so I don't really need to see. But it's inefficient that we just change seats every time a class comes in. You know what I'm saying? For everyone to shuffle seats to make sure everyone's got the front row seat when your kid's up there. So I don't mind the whole crisscross applesauce thing. You got to get up there. At least you can get the video to show the grandparents or whatever. But I was sitting in the front row, meaning there was no chairs in front of me. And so it's me and then the stage.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What about. Were the crisscross applesauce people in front of you?

[Brian Green]

Not only were they in front of me, they're sitting on my feet, and there is so much room in front of me. I mean, it just was, like, kind of silly. Like, you don't have to sit with your back against my knees. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Give me a little space.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, give me a little space to the point where we're like, one lady. Like, this happened five times during the show. Five different people sitting right directly in front of me. All of them did the same thing. All of them extraordinarily close. Like, literally their backs against my knees. And one lady sat.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Did you start to braid somebody's hair?

[Brian Green]

Well, one lady sat on my shoe, and I started poking her in the butt. I was like, bink, bink, bink, bink, bink.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Moving my toes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But she was. You know, she had. There was a lot. There was cushion there. And I don't think she felt what was going on. But I. I thought to my. Like, this is just a little too close for. We're all friendly here, but a little too close for comfort let's get going. Like, you know, you can move up 30. You can move it. 30 centimeters would be okay. Give my feet a little room to breathe. That was a little ridiculous. And then the other thing is, like, when we get there and there's this hall, and I already know the drill, There are going to be entirely too few seats for entirely too many people. And there's a lot, and everybody wants. It's a long thing. You do not want to stand for two hours during this. And there is a hallway full of extra chairs stacked up full of extra chairs. So I go. I see a guy take one of the extra chairs to go in the back, and I think to myself, okay, yeah, that's a good idea. I already know there's going to be plenty more people than seats. Let me. Let me look at a few of these tough guys around here, and let's all start a chain, and let's get it going. And we'll put a few extra rows in the back. There's plenty of chairs. Like, let's make sure that everyone can take a seat. And so I go over there. I'm not necessarily directing traffic, but kind of directing traffic, Right. And I'm. These seats are re. They're wooden, and they're really heavy. So I'm pulling one. I give it to a guy, I pull one. I give him a second chair. Two chairs. That's good. You're good. Two chairs. It's a very heavy thing. Meanwhile, I don't know, Biff Johnson comes over, and he's like, I'm just gonna get the. I'm just gonna get the stack. It's like five chairs. And I go, oh, okay. All right. Go for that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Literally cannot move the stack one inch. He's like. He's trying. He's trying too hard for too long because now he knows kind of what a dumb, dumb he looks like. Yeah. Like, okay, bro. Hey, if I thought you could just, you know, fling a stack of chairs and over into the other room, then I would have done that in the first place. But they're heavy chairs. Two is enough. You don't need to be a tough guy. So you know what he did? He ended up taking a stack of two chairs and moving them there. And I'm like, okay, all right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Do it your way.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So, okay. So then I.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They're wooden chairs, though. I'm kind of hung up on this for a minute because I remember in school having, like, you know, the small, like, plastic ones with the butt carve out.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And, like, Some metal legs.

[Brian Green]

I don't want to give away too much.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because I. Because I care about the safety of my family. And I don't know who's out there listening, but the hall is a place where very nice wooden chairs would be appropriate. Let's put it that way. Like, nice, solid.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So these aren't like the kids.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no. I was thinking the school is on one side of the building, and on the other side of the building is a. It's used for something completely different. But we get but once or twice a year.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I'm picturing a school and, like, the kids chairs.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no, no.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Like, stacks of kids.

[Brian Green]

The school does have kids chairs, but this place has wooden chairs. Right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Nice wooden chairs for the kids.

[Brian Green]

Right. So I. So I grabbed then. Okay, now we've. I think we've got enough chairs for two rows. I grabbed two chairs. I go walk over there, and that same guy is just, like, standing in the middle of this, like, the row that I have to get by to put these chairs down. And I'm standing there looking at him, and he's standing there looking at me, and I go, oh, excuse me. Can you. You know. Yeah, Chrissy. He didn't even, like. Didn't even acknowledge on his face that he had heard what I'd said, But he's, like, looking directly at me. I know he's not deaf because we just had a conversation. Like, I don't know what's going on. So he doesn't move. Another guy recognizes what's going on here, walks around the guy and says, hand me the chair. And I have to hand the chair around the guy who's standing in the middle of the row not moving. For what reason? I can't imagine.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Why was he standing? Because I thought he grabbed two chairs.

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Maybe he used all his possible testosterone to try and lift those five chairs into the air. And now he's. He's on a bra. His brain's on a break. I don't know. I don't know. He's on a break, I guess. I'm not sure. I don't know. It was like a really silly and weird thing. Party's over. Everyone's done. Ice cream truck outside. Which was a. Which was a nice added touch this year. Let's go get some. By the way, in years past, like when I. When we first started taking our kid went to this school, they would do this outside and in May. You're really rolling the dice.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, you are.

[Brian Green]

It could be Chilly. It could be raining, but it's likely just gonna be fucking hot. Yeah. And everyone's gonna be dressed nicely, sweating their potatoes off.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So I'm glad that we at least got the inside part. And the ice cream truck is a.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Nice addition, but the milk and cereal truck.

[Brian Green]

I wish it was the milk and cereal truck. Isn't that an ice cream truck?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, I passed it. You know, it's parked, like, at this business that's down. That's down the street from where I live.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's when I took the picture and.

[Brian Green]

Sent it to you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Because I'm like, there's an actual milk and cereal truck.

[Brian Green]

That's a thing now. They make ice cream out of. And cereal. You know, like a little offshoot here. There was a. There was a trend, I want to say, like, back in the.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Or maybe it's cereal and cream. That's what it is.

[Brian Green]

Cereal and cream.

[Rachel]

Cereal and cream.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yes, there was a trend.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Your choice. Hey, snacks.

[Brian Green]

If you're going to put cereal and ice cream together. My new thing is cookies and whipped cream. So I can't drink half and half anymore at the levels I was drinking it at. So now I just put whipped cream. Yeah, Whip it. I put whip. It's all over my cookies. I get high. So there was a trend in the, like, mid 2000 in the aughts where they were opening up cereal shops. Do you remember this?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Like, walls of different kinds of cereals, and people would go in in the morning or the afternoon, and they would put cereal in a bowl and whatever kind of milk they wanted, and they'd pay $5. Endless. All you could eat. I don't think that ever took off, really. But I remember they opened a couple and one in Los Angeles. Yeah, I thought that was. Yeah, I thought that was an interesting idea. Not one that warranted an entire restaurant in Manhattan, but an interesting idea nonetheless. That's a college town kind of thing. If you did that in a college town, you'd probably never go out of business.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

All right, so party's over. Everyone's done. Thank you very much. You know, tears and happiness and mainly because it's done. And now we get to go home. And by the way, my kids killed it. They killed it. They were the. They danced, they sang. They knew their motions, they knew their movements. I was really proud of them. But this is also not their first rodeo doing this, so I think they were. They were prepped for this. So we get done and Then the same Biff Henderson all of a sudden. Yeah. By the way, I'm standing in the front. So when it's over, the front where I'm standing gets very crowded. Because now this is the open space. So now everybody is crowded. The open space to get their kids to say goodbye to their friends. Have a happy summer. Thank you. The teachers, all this other stuff. So it's very crowded where I am, and I understand that. I'm just trying to kind of like maneuver to get out and. But I'm not going anywhere because no one's going anywhere. And then all of a sudden I notice right behind me, and I mean, like, breathing down my neck, is Biff Henderson the same guy who was standing in the middle.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The same guy, yeah.

[Brian Green]

My nemesis at the cerem. And now I'm like, do we have a thing here? But I don't know because I'm not man enough to know, you know, Like, I don't have that kind of vibe, you know? But I'm. I do wonder. Do we have a thing here? Should I be worried that he's gonna snap my neck from behind? Is this Jean Claude Van Damme film? Do I need to stand up on the chair?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Bloodsport.

[Brian Green]

Bloodsport. Do I need to grab one of these heavy wooden chairs and just hit him over the head with it? I don't know. And I'm a little bit nervous that now I've got this guy just literally drooling down the back of my hairline. And so I think to myself, geez, you know, just give me a little bit of room, buddy. He's got, like, his chest up against my back. And I'm like, it's not that tight in here.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I've been hidden from all sides, the back, the front, your legs.

[Brian Green]

It's weird. It's like no personal space day at the pre K. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know. Honestly, I sound like I'm complaining. It's not that big of a deal. I don't give a. But I kind of give a shit. Like, I don't want somebody up on my back. That part. If you're gonna. If you have to sit in front of me. Okay, I understand. Don't sit on my shoes, though. That's a little. But again, I don't know that she really even knew. I honestly don't. But if you're gonna. If you're gonna be like, in my back, don't be strange.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You know, when you're too close to somebody's back, yes.

[Brian Green]

And that reminded me of a few times when, like, you go to the grocery store, you're waiting in line at, like, a Six Flags or a Disney World, and there's just that person that's a little bit too fucking close. Like, aggressively close. They're angry for some reason, and they're ready to pounce on you. And so they're going to let you know by standing very close. Kind of like when I'm driving down the street and I am one and a half feet from your bumper because you have a do a student driver sticker on your fucking car. That's right. Anyway, kids are done now. We move into the summer, so expect to hear lots more screaming and yelling. What a cockroach anthem that was, however, one of the best beginnings to any movie with that song has got to be. Dazed and Confused. I was waiting for you to say it, but you didn't say it. Dazed and Confused.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's true. They do have it at the beginning of that movie. To rewatch that movie, everybody needs to rewatch that movie. Yeah, I haven't seen it in a while.

[Brian Green]

It's high time we watch that movie again.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that.

[Brian Green]

That. We'll be here all week, and we'll be right back to talk about TCB's endless day. Stay tuned.

[Rachel]

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker, and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid, Especially Astrid.

[Brian Green]

I saw a very interesting reel the other day that I think I have to share and we have to have a conversation about now before this gets started. I shared this with Gustavo, Gustavo and Astrid last night, and Astrid's like, great. Everyone's gonna think that you and I hate each other, and that is not the truth. I just want to preface this. You'll understand in A second. I want to preface this by saying Astrid and I do not hate each other. This is not why I'm sharing this. I'm sharing this. This is a very click baity title, but I think the substance, the gist, if you don't mind. Also a great podcast by our good friend Mike Pesca. Tuned in the gist of this reel from this psychological expert. This marriage expert is very interesting. It's thought provoking and I think it might be true. You want to listen?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, of course. That was a good buildup.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. Now if I can just figure out how to press play on it, we're all going to be good. Here we go.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

All right.

[Brian Green]

What is normal marital hatred?

[Astrid]

The essential rhythm of all relationships is harmony, disharmony, and repair, closeness.

[Brian Green]

This is Tim Ferriss, by the way, one of the world's most pro famous podcasters. Been doing this for a long time. I think he puts out like a podcast every three months or some shit like that, doesn't he?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No, he does it once a week.

[Brian Green]

Oh, he does it once a week. Who's the guy who does it once a year or once every six months? You know what I'm talking about?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Kevin Rose or something?

[Brian Green]

Something like that. Yeah. And he gets like 78 million downtowns or. Yeah, yeah. But this is Tim Ferriss, who is a. Who is.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He's been doing this for a long time.

[Brian Green]

Long time. Great interviewer and has a lot of thought provoking conversations and the word was a little muddled there. But what is marital hatred? And he's saying, closeness, disharmony, disharmony, closeness.

[Astrid]

Disruption and a return to closeness. That's where the skills come in. How to move from disruption to repair. Our culture doesn't teach it. We don't deal with reality. The father of couples therapy back in the 50s said the you turn to the person who's next to you and you say, this is a mistake. I've been had. This is not the person I fell in love with. That said, Fremo is the first day of your real marriage.

[Brian Green]

That Fred Faimo, first of all, what is Fred Faimo?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

I don't know either, but I like it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Also turning to your partner and saying, this was a mistake, this is not gonna work out.

[Brian Green]

No, I've been mistaken.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I've been had.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I've been had.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's the first day of your life.

[Brian Green]

That's the first day of your real marriage.

[Astrid]

But I want to say about disharmony, it hurts, it's dark. You can really, really feel like, what the hell did I get myself into? This is such a disappointment. And guess what? Your partner's probably feeling that about you too. I talk about normal marital hatred. When you're in that dark phase, you date your partner. That's okay. It's part of the deal for many of it. I've been going around the world talking about normal marital hatred for, oh my God, what, 30 years. This is true. Not one person has ever come backstage and said, terry, what do you mean by that?

[Brian Green]

Okay, let's chew on it. I think what he's trying to say is this. I. If I'm picking up what he's putting down, if you don't mind me paraphrasing here, Chrissy, what he's trying to say is that mating, the honeymoon phase of a relationship, let's call it, we've all. And I think we've all been there. Mating is when you put on mating.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay?

[Brian Green]

The mating. The dance. The mating dance. Yeah, mating dance. Let's put it on. Let's bring it down to its most, to its most baseness, nature, which is mating, courting, finding a mate, a suitable mate and then doing a dance to get them coupling or decoupling, whatever you want to say.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think of mating is sex, but that's me.

[Brian Green]

Okay, well, in the non sexual way, like us, finding a mate, let's put.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It that way, finding a mate.

[Brian Green]

When you're doing that, when you're trying to attract yourself to somebody or you're attracted to somebody, you want to be in your universe and you see potential in the situation, you are definitely not going to be 100% the person you are behind closed doors. Because let's be honest about it, the person you are behind closed doors, maybe even in very long marriages sometimes is just a little bit different. No one can be in your mind, no one can know you exactly for who you are in your perspective every single moment of every single day, people can come close. I think I know Astrid pretty well. I think she knows me pretty well. Does she know every single thing about me that I ever think, that I ever want, that I ever desire? No, she doesn't. Because if she did, then Dua Lipa would be on this show. But the reality for a lot of.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think she knows about Dua Lipa.

[Brian Green]

I think she knows about Dua Lipa, but she still hasn't gotten Dua Lipa to come on the show.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, that's a hard ask.

[Brian Green]

It's a. We had.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I don't know if we're at that.

[Brian Green]

Level, Tom Papa on the show. Why not? Dua lipa. I think we put our best foot forward because that is what we are. That's in our DNA. That's what we do. We do a mating dance, just like those birds that have pretty feathers or baboons who.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I love watching those shows.

[Brian Green]

Butts get all pink and red and rosy, right? When they're.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The birds are the best.

[Brian Green]

The birds are the best because theirs.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Are fucking like a whole little dance.

[Brian Green]

Actual dancer, they shake their feathers and they twist from one way and they twist from the other and they cock around. Yes. It happens in the wild. It happens here. You put on your. You're on your best behavior. You show your best feathers, you do your best dance. You have your best baboon butt shining. You peacock it. You peacock, you peacock it. I'm peacocking my way through the bar. That's what we do. And like it or not, that often lasts a little longer than most of us would like to admit. We want to make sure that that person knows that we're the best, most suitable person for them at, like, a genetic level, at, like, a DNA code level. We are trained, we're born, we're bred to put on that show for as long as it takes to secure the deal. And because we tend to mate with one person for life, at least some people do. Unless you're the poly family. Then you mate with seven people for half of your life.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We've got to discuss that.

[Brian Green]

Oh, we do.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I got caught up on.

[Brian Green]

We'll get there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Then at some point, it all comes crumbling down. It all starts to shed because life, stress, kids, money, stomach, viruses. Stomach. Yeah, flu. Flu is the thing that'll take it down real quick. Flu will take that wall down real quick. It all starts crumbling in some way, shape or form. It's hard to put on that performance for a very, very long time. And we know this about people who are famous. We know this about pastors and preachers and priests. We know this about our own partners. I think what he's trying to say is, at some point you go, I remember when Brian was not such a bumbling, stumbling moron. Right. It just happens. And that doesn't. I think hatred is a clickbait word used to antagonize and to prep for a tough conversation.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

But I do see what he's saying is that you go through the. And if you've been in a relationship long enough, you go through these cycles of amorous and being enamored with somebody. And then maybe not so enamored with them, and then maybe irritated by them, and maybe there's some kind of discord or disharmony. And then if, you know, if you have the skills to navigate that, then you come back together. There's that conversation, there's that tough situation that kind of breaks the. The stalemate, so to speak. There's a fucking A fighting, I don't know, whatever it is in your relationship. And it can be probably multiple things in different situations. But then that closeness again is felt. We now see the person for who they are today. And then we go back through the whole rigamaroo again. I think this is a really wise thing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

See what's on the dating apps. And then you realize, what's that?

[Brian Green]

You go to Grindr. You go to Grindr, you get pegged, you stare yourself in the mirror and you say, well, this is who I am today. I'm gonna go back to Astrid and explain and get some marital discourse so we can get that closeness back together. I think this is a wise thing. And I think the longer conversation is we should be training people, we should be helping them, we should be sharing with them, we should be prepping them in relationships that this, what you see today is not always what's going to be in front of you. And you need to be prepared for the eventual change and the change of the relationship and the nature in which the two of you interact. Do the dance, talk to each other, communicate, love, fuck, fight, whatever it is. You need to be doing prep work because. And you need to be vigilant and aware that things are changing. And that's okay. That's what happens. I love it. I think it's great. And I think that there's a larger conversation here about loneliness, about kind of inability to be in any kind of sustained relationship with our young people today. Not all of them. There's lots of young folks. It's young folks. I know Gustavo and Ale, right? They've been in a relationship for longer than I've.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we have somebody that's doing the same thing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Family. So you can do it. You can do it successfully. And there are lots of people who are doing it successfully. But there's also lots of conversation, lots of research that shows that it's not being done successfully at many, many levels. And the birth rate is going down. Not that it matters if you have a baby or don't have a baby, you don't want to have a kid. I understand. It's kind of a fucked up time to Have a kid. I have 12 of them. I know. But there is this, like, undercurrent of stress amongst professionals, experts about the level of loneliness that's going on in this country. And some people think that's because there's. There's really an inability to understand what a relationship is, how it works, and to see it through. And so I think this is. Take marriage. Take the word marriage out of it. Relationship hatred. Like, you know, relate. The strength of a relationship, the length of a relationship and the way in which it goes down is tough. There's nothing easy about it. But, you know, if you really love that person and you see that it's worthy and you feel like it makes you a better person and you make them a better person, it's worth sticking it out. It's worth understanding, oh, 100%. It's not always going to be the same thing as it was the very same the very first day.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No. And the high, there's. Yeah, it's. There's highs and there's lows and hopefully the. The lows make you remember the highs.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And vice versa, too. I mean, you know, you just. Yeah. Be prepared. There's gonna be highs and lows. And if you really do love and care about each other and have a deep respect and have open communication with your partner, then I. You can make it through.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, absolutely. Listen, you think that it's just gonna be, you know, traveling around to the beaches and fucking five times a day. You got that? That's not how a relationship works. Pretty soon it's going to be dragging kids to Disney World and praying that you get five minutes to take a shit by yourself.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You know, having. And I've seen this happen. I think probably it's well known that. Yeah. I mean, adding kids into babies and kids and things into the relationship definitely changes things.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. I know a lot of people think that, like, kids are like the problem solver. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's right. Like, let's have a baby and everything will be good.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I don't. I don't.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That if you're having problems in your.

[Brian Green]

Relationship, have a kid. They said it'll fix our relationship. They said, no, kids are the worst because then the kids suffer because you're an idiot. And then the kids suffer. You know what I'm saying? That you're an idiot, but you're an idiot. And I also know a lot of people and, you know, I haven't talked about this in years on this show. Year. I just Said years. Like we've been doing this for years on this show.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, we've been doing the show for years.

[Brian Green]

We've been doing the show for years. That's what I said. There's an S after that. Years after the year there's an S. It's crazy. I have been married twice and my first wife, a lovely woman who I have a lot of respect for and will always, there'll always be a place in my heart and in my head for her. When it was time to break up, we decided to get married. And a lot of people do that because the marriage will fix the issues. If we could just get married, then on the other side of that wedding, it's smooth sailing. And so I myself fell victim to that grass is greener on the other side kind of thing. It just doesn't work like that. It never works like that. If there's trouble, if the waters are choppy now you gotta get to calmer waters before you decide, before you decide to sail on. That's it. Period. End of sentence. Kids do not fix anything. Marriage does not fix anything. Moving in does not fix anything. Let's take it all the way backwards. Fucking does not. Well, fucking fixes a lot of stuff actually. Fuck, do more fucking. That fixes some things. It fixes some things. It can fuck you be safe.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Don't have a kid.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, be safe. Rabbit. Ribbit. Rabbit, let it go. Oh, no. I think Tim Ferriss really provoked a very interesting conversation with this guy coming on. I enjoyed it. I thought it was really smart and I thought that if more people would understand this going in, then they would be prepared for the long run if that's what they choose to do. I'm not saying like monogamy is not for everybody. We know that. Look at that poly family.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That poly family should be monogamous.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they should be monogamous. It's just so difficult, I mean, so difficult to navigate. And then. So Poly Family is a brand new, fantastic life giving dramedy on tlc, of course, my favorite television station about two couples and children. So it's a poly family, but it's not poly. It's a closed poly family.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think it's what they call it.

[Brian Green]

Closed quad.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's what they call it.

[Brian Green]

It sounds like a basketball court. I'm on a. I'm going to the closed quad. You want to come with? Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So. And they're closed and it's two married couples that. Yeah. And they each got together, moved in together. One couple already had two kids.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Then they got together, moved in together, did the whole thing. I guess they didn't really marry each other. They're all together.

[Brian Green]

They're all together.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, they're actually not all together.

[Brian Green]

They're not.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The husbands switch swap wives every day.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I think this is one.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

One day on, one day off. One day on, one day off. He switched her.

[Brian Green]

This is one long episode of the.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Women Aren't Together and the men aren't Together.

[Brian Green]

No, this is one long episode of Wife Swap. This is what that is. It's one long episode of White Swap.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She said they wanted to have sex with the other people.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I want to have. Can I bone your wife? Yeah. You don't mind if I bone your wife? No, not at all. Come on. Yeah. You want to move in? We'll share the mortgage, split the bills.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

By the way, I hate you. Oh, I hate you, too. Yeah. The men hate each other. Hate each other. Yeah. They're trying to play nice for the cameras, and they're not even trying to play nice for the cameras.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Speaking of adding kids into the mix then. And that's what they did. So not only did the one couple already have to. Then they. Then each of the wives had kids at the same time. Had one baby each at the same time. So now those kids are toddlers running around. And then the one another wife had another. Just had another baby. Had another baby newborn. So I got two toddlers newborn. Like the other ones are like 5 and 8 or something. I mean, throw that in.

[Brian Green]

And just to let you know, they do not know who the father of any of the children are because that makes life easier. Well, okay. I don't want to get into all the movie show about the show. Go watch it. There's three episodes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's miserable.

[Brian Green]

It's a miserable show. It's a miserable situation. But I'll keep watching it because I'm fascinated. I just want to see the two guys go at it at some point, really get down to it. And one guy's a big, fluffy, sensitive hairball, and the other guy's a big tough guy with his fucking dick swinging. And so it's two completely opposite personalities and they just have an extreme dislike for each other. But hey, he's. And by the way, one is the big sensitive hairball is clearly the better lover in the group because both women want him there. But the other guy, the guy with the big swinging dick, you know, he's a lug nut. And I think he pro. He's probably a one pump chump. And the girls are like, well, it's my day with DAV. Trying to find that I got to get quicker at this. But then it's their time with. Sorry. Just going crazy on its own. But then it's their time to be with whatever his name is, let's call him Michael. So Sean's the big lug nut and they're like, well, it's my time, my night with Sean. And then it's. And then they go, well, it's my night with Michael. Gotta get the lingerie, put on my makeup, take a shower, shave my legs, clean my. Hoo hoo, here we go. Michael's coming in the door. Because Michael's just more of a sensitive type. He probably connects romantically a little bit better, I think. So. It's a very interesting look at a very interesting family. I'm not knocking it if that's what you choose to do. I don't have any problem with it. It's just having cameras in the door. It clearly shows that this is not working out as well as they had expected it to work out. It's kind of a shit show if I'm being honest. Okay, poly family, go check out Tim Ferriss's episode on marital hatred. If you're interested in that, if you're interested in having like learning some. If you're interested in kind of seeding your mind about what it takes to have a serious relationship for a long time, if that's you, if you're into it, then go there. You. The birth rates are going down like crazy and there's a lot of experts that are very concerned about that. And then there's a lot of people who aren't concerned about it. They're like, that's okay, we don't need as many humans on earth. But you know, once it goes to a certain point, it never, you can never recover from it. So once it gets to like in Japan they are literally paying like 5,000 yen. I saw that per year or something for the first 10 years. I don't know what it is to have a child because their birth rate is about to go negative. And once it goes negative, it's like almost impossible to recover from that. And then you're going to have Brian and chrissy, bunch of 80 year olds at the villages Tokyo, and no one's going to be. And then there's going to be no one to do anything. Everyone's just going to be retired. This is going to be a senior citizen. It's going to be one large senior Citizen Island. And hey, if Tokyo's where I got to retire. Doesn't sound that bad to me. Besides the tsunamis and the earthquakes, I'm good with it. Cool. All right, so let's make a little bit of announcement here halfway through the episode, and we'll keep this going for the next couple of weeks. We have been referring to our big special event on May 31st as TC as a 12 hours of TCB, for lack of a better name, quite frankly. 12 episodes. It was a placeholder. 12 episodes, 12 hours. We just kind of. And we did the 12 days of TCB. So I thought it was catchy. However, we have decided we are changing the name to TCB's endless day. It's a big birthday bash. We're super excited. 12 at least episodes of the Commercial Break on May 31st. TCB's Endless Day, brought to you by Five Hour Energy. It is going to be brought to you with limited commercial interruption by 5 Hour Energy. They were nice enough to come in and to say, hey, we want to support you. So we're going to send you cases and cases and cases of five Hour Energy to keep you and whoever else is crazy enough to join you up all day long. And in addition to that, we are going to slim down the commercials to just three per episode. One in the beginning, one in the middle, and one in the end. That's amazeballs. So thank you very much to 5 Hour Energy. They've been a sponsor for a while. They're really cool. They're super supportive. And I thought this was like a lovely.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Their stuff tastes great.

[Brian Green]

Lovely. Yeah. And then they said, new flavor. Spicy. The mango.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Spicy mango.

[Brian Green]

I think it was how I say that on the commercial that really closed the deal.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Cinco de Mayo Spicy. Cinco de Mango.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You did a good job.

[Brian Green]

Thank you very much. I appreciate it. I used an authentic accent for that one. So TCB's endless day, sponsored by Five Hour Energy, May 31, starting at 10:00am Stay tuned. Make sure you're following us on all the socials or go to the website, drop us a line. You want to join us on that day? 212-4333. TCB. Text us and let us know and we'll let you know how you can call in and talk to Chrissy. And I say happy birthday to us. Because that's what it is. It's a big birthday bash. It is. And while you're at it, I know it's crazy. Five fuck years. I mean, technically, five Hour Energy.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

There's Something there.

[Brian Green]

There is something there. Maybe they saw it before I did. And technically, we've already been doing this for five years. Like, our first episode came out on April 23rd or something like that. Yeah. But we're too lazy to actually do it, you know? Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We were late planning the party.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Now we're having the party.

[Brian Green]

Plus, I like it when it stays light out darker. So I wanted to make sure we were past that time. You know what I'm saying, Chrissy? I wanted to make sure we have sunlight when we're ending this thing, because we're ending it at what time? 10. You know, I did the math. Like, I did the math for 12 days of TCB. And so when I did the math and I said, we're gonna do it from 10am to 10pm When I actually did the math, it was 13 hours, not 12. So however many hours is 12 episodes, that's what we're going to do for you. Expect nothing more. Okay. And if you get a 13th, that's just because you're being good. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break, and when we get back, Palladian Light Girls are taking over the Internet. And I'm paying attention. We'll be back.

[Rachel]

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us in reply, then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing, and I think you'll be great at it. 212-433. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message, too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact Us button and ask for one. Follow us on Insta at the commercial break and watch the episodes at YouTube.com/the commercial break. Now I'm gonna go back to that texting game you want to play. Come on. Bye.

[Brian Green]

I have taken notice to. You remember we did Palladian Light Girl.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Of course.

[Brian Green]

The girl who was talking in light language. Some of you will remember that we found this girl. The Internet found this girl. Really? And it just came up. Happened to come up on my algorithm. And she was claiming to be a light being from another universe that came down with this special alien light language. And she could only. Only she could talk to the alien aliens. But you could learn it if you spent $10,000 on a course with her. She did this whole video about it and in the background was a yappy little Shih Tzu who literally was shitting on her floor. And she didn't pay attention to it. She just kept speaking the alien light language. So I don't know where she is. I haven't seen her in a long time actually. But very pretty blonde girl living, I think she said, in the Hollywood Hills. Must be nice. And a couple years ago when this came out, I thought, what a strange young lady. But, you know, to each their own. She doesn't seem to be doing any harm to anybody except for taking $10,000 for a course. But then over the last couple of months, I started to notice that girls that look, dress and act very much like alien light language. Girls. Girl. Have started to pop up, crop up all over my Instagram feed. Satina and I went out there and we did a little research and we literally found dozens of these young ladies. And a man, actually not just not to just, you know, shit on the women here. The men are doing this too, who now are speaking some form of this alien light language. Now, I don't know what's going on here, Chrissy. I gotta imagine that new age spiritualism which started really, you know, I mean, there's always been kind of this like weird Eastern. Not weird, but this Eastern philosophy of spirituality found inside you, not outside you. And the religion and spirituality has birthed a lot of strange things over the years. It's nothing new there. But this phenomenon is rather odd to me that these girls, majority of them are speaking in tongue and claiming to speak to alien light beings and getting messages.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

If you look in the comments section of some of these girls who are being followed by a lot of people and a lot of them are. A lot of people are just taking what they're saying at face value. It seems like really going down the rabbit hole with them cult. If I don't mind.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, a lot of people are looking for things there.

[Brian Green]

We are all. Yeah, we're looking for any kind of meaning, any kind of normalcy. And we want to have some kind of ticket to ride somewhere that's not this miserable shit show we find ourselves involved in currently. I get that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I do it on a comet, actually.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. Ticket to ride. I took it to have alien like babies up in. Up in space. But if you read through the comments, which of course I do On a number of these girls, there are linguistics experts who are saying that one specifically I will recall on one of these reels. Maybe I can remember which one it was if we look through a couple of them who said, I am a linguistics expert. I have studied people speaking in tongue in religious ceremonies for years. And sometimes people go into, like, kind of a crazy trance and they start to speak a language that is clearly not forced. They're not thinking about it. It's. It's literally mumbo jumbo coming from the inside of their mind that does not sound like or mimic an actual language. This is not that these people are trying to make up a language mimicking other languages. Meaning they're thinking about it. They actually have. They're forcing it to happen. Right. And I think you can clearly figure that out by this.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Are they speaking some of the. Like, are they all talking differently?

[Brian Green]

A lot of them. I don't think you could tell the difference. Well, let's listen to a few of them and we'll see. So I put together a collection of reels here. I'm not going to give away the names. I'm not here to, like, pick on anybody specifically. Not really. All right, let's take a listen to what some of these people have to say and some of their alien light language. Okay.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

It's like Russian and Spanish put together. Yeah. Meanwhile, she's rubbing a rose all over her chest and face. What is go. What in the good Lord is going on here? What happened with this poor girl? Oh, my God. I know. Seven of these people in real life, by the way.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right. I was going to say.

[Brian Green]

All right, here's another one. Take a listen.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, what are they saying? What are they saying?

[Brian Green]

They're getting messages from the universe.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And what is the message?

[Brian Green]

They never tell you that part.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Because they're concentrating too hard on their bullshit language. Oh. Implanting new subconscious programs in alignment with sacred health, wealth and abundance in all forms. Sacred Magical. Sacred. Sacred wealth formula. The sacred wealth formula. If she even knew. They all sound the same. It's all shock, shock, shock, shock.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Anchoring you into your soul's highest vibrational expression of divine abundance.

[Brian Green]

Ah, Divine abundance. Exactly what I've been looking for.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Sacred divine abundance.

[Brian Green]

Yes, I'm looking for sacred divine abundance. Thanks. Five Hour Energy. I know sign language. Yeah, it's sign language only. I know someone who actually does sign language, and I'm sure they'd say that's too. Okay, so there's another one. Let's take a listen to a third One here. Okay.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh, here's an interesting one.

[Palladian Starseed Woman]

There's a lot of talk of aliens in my book. I am a Pleiadian. Most of you probably are, too. Or at least some sort of hybrid of a starseed family. And I read about the Pleiadians many years ago, and instead of feeling like, whoa, this is weird, I innately knew that what I was reading, instead of.

[Brian Green]

Thinking, whoa, this is weird, I instantaneously went to Cuckoo. Or Cuckoo Loco.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's the tiny sick thought, I know a way that I can turn this into a business.

[Brian Green]

Exactly. And this one is one of the most famous of them all. She's got a lot of followers, and she sells a lot of books and a lot of courses. You know, She's a Palladian starseed. Palladian starseed.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Or at least a hybrid is what she said.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Listen, we're. If you think about it, we are all starseeds. If you, like, really think about it, we're all starseeds. You're not a fucking Palladium. What? The Palladium.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Isn't there a venue called the Palladium?

[Brian Green]

There was a venue called the Palladium. Seamless venue. Accessibility was true.

[Palladian Starseed Woman]

This was the truest thing I had ever known. It was everything I felt in my body, but never could articulate.

[Brian Green]

You could never articulate that you were a Palladian. That's what you were hoping to articulate. It just. It all came out once you read the book about Palladians.

[Palladian Starseed Woman]

Until I read the channelings of the Palladians. The Pleiadians are dense. So I decided to extract their wisdom.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Pour it into my book, import it.

[Brian Green]

Into my book that you can now is now available on Amazon.com.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This is all a grift, by the way, in case you weren't picking up on it. Oh, oh, here's a guy. Here's a dude. Let's see.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Is he hammering that?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. No, he's got a. He's got one of those.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's a corn cob.

[Brian Green]

It is a corn cob. It's a corn cob drum. Yes. I want to know, for anybody who follows some of these folks and is into this kind of thing, what are you getting out of this? Like, are you actually vibrating when you hear this? Is there some kind of messaging that's coming through to you? Do you feel like you have a better day after you listen to one of these in the morning? Are you feeling some kind of connection to these people? Because this guy literally looks like some. A Character out of a movie. He's wearing Lululemon a little bit too tight. Long hair, beard, balding. I mean, I don't know what's going on here, but this is strange to me.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It really is.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Just to let you know that the dudes are in on it too. Okay, maybe one more here. Oh, no, no, no. That's. That's not that. Okay, so, you know, I don't know what's going on. I don't know, but it just all seems a little too.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. What? I mean, I can't get my head around it. So they're channeling and saying all of these things. From aliens. Yes, from aliens. Yes, the Palladians.

[Brian Green]

Some of them are Palladians. Some of them are more generic alien light language girls. Yes, the Palladians.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

But the Palladians is a species of aliens.

[Brian Green]

It's a species of aliens and they believe that they've been dropped down here on Earth and they've co. Mingled co. Mated with humans.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay. That's how the hybrids.

[Brian Green]

That's the hybrids happening. And that if you're a Palladian, then you will activate when you hear certain languages and.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And you will activate your Palladian penis.

[Brian Green]

Your Palladian penis. Your Palladian penis will come alive.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And then all of a sudden, you're gonna have wealth and abundance. Is that what it is? Cause the old wealth and abundance trick.

[Brian Green]

That'S how they get you. That's how they get you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Who doesn't want.

[Brian Green]

Who doesn't want.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Who doesn't want sacred abundance?

[Brian Green]

Who doesn't want sacred abundance in all forms? Yes. Who doesn't want a $400 million jet that they can ride around like these preachers do. Do. Because this is what the abundance preachers are doing too. They're. They're claiming that Jesus Christ wanted you to be filthy rich at the expense of whoever. Because abundance means that you are living at your highest form. And that clearly is following in the teachings of Jesus. Because these people are playing an age old parlor trick. An age old cult. 1D, 1Z. Twosie, as my daughter would say, which is to make you believe that you too can be just as rich and healthy and wealthy and loved as they are, or claim to be. If you only follow the steps they have behind this paywall or behind this donation or behind this gift basket or behind this next retreat. And you just go keep on going up through the level levels. If we have covered one of these, we have covered 30 of them. And it's not a particularly hard concept. To understand it's basically MLM for your soul.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh yeah, that's what I was going to say too. That the.

[Brian Green]

The yoga documentary, whatever her name was.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Move up the levels and do the things and whatever.

[Brian Green]

It's Scientology. The more you pay, the more secrets you get, the closer to God, you know. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. That means this episode you'll never hear. My cameras are about to explode. Yeah. But it like this is very much a well worn path and one that a lot of people make a lot of money doing. And this is just yet another version of this enwrapped in new age spirituality. But I promise you that at the end of the day, most of these people, most of them, some of them I think are just like, maybe they truly believe the. Maybe a few of them even the. Makes them feel like better people, they do better things or whatever. But a majority of them are jumping on a bandwagon. They see an opportunity to make money. And as long as they keep selling the books and the retreats and the lotions and the potions and the Alamog oceans, then at the end of the day they are getting enriched at the expense of your, you know, your. Your want, your desire, your need to be connected in some way, shape or form. I had a saying and I think everybody who's heard it has loved it. Do you know what the most expensive thing at a strip club is, Chrissy?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Hope.

[Brian Green]

Hope. I hope she gives me her phone number. I hope that's her real name. I hope we end up together.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Now, not to diminish hope. No, in and of itself.

[Brian Green]

No, no. Hope is awesome.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You've got to have hope that you know things are going to be better and things are going to get better and be better for you. And that should push you to strive to do things but not pay.

[Brian Green]

Hope is one of the most. Yeah. Hope is one of the most beautiful things in the world and powerful things in the world. And I believe in it with all of my being. But I don't want to hope on false prophecies. That's just what I don't want. It's all in here. It's not all.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Exactly. You shouldn't need to pay for it.

[Brian Green]

Now. If I got to pay somebody $10,000 for it, first of all, I can't afford it. Second of all, I'm not going to. First of all, I can't afford it. Maybe I'm the one who's an asshole. Just because I can't afford to go to the Alien Light Language ritual retreat in, you know, New Finland, Peru, where we're gonna stay at a five star Ritz Carlton and you're gonna get a, I don't know, a sage bath with my special, you know, monkey vag oil or whatever it is. Yeah, we're gonna summon. We're gonna summon your sacred uterus to your most highest, abundant form.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Your Palladian Venus.

[Brian Green]

Your Palladian. We'll be inviting Palladian penises to come up to the uterian uteruses and make sweet, sweet love money will fall from your vagina. I saw it happen one time on Palladia at the Palladium. All right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I know.

[Brian Green]

Oh, we're all fucked. We're all fucked. Meanwhile, we can't get five people to follow us on Instagram and some of these girls have 20 million followers. Oh, I know, it's crazy. A lot of people believe this. A lot of people believe it. And that's the saddest part about this, is that they. You can't clearly see.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, it doesn't hurt too, to be a beautiful young girl.

[Brian Green]

Correct.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

In a very skimpy outfit, rubbing a rose all over your face and body.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I mean, when you're in a bikini. Bikini.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

When you're in a string bikini, rubbing roses on your willy. Hoo hoo. And going. 5:30. Maybe that guy was talking to alien light language. There you go. You never know. TCB's Endless Summer brought to you by Five Hour Energy, May 31st. Starting at 10am 12 continuous episodes of the commercial break, dropping one every hour until we drop one every hour on the floor here in the studio.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Just like the kid.

[Brian Green]

That's right. I felt for him. That was a somatic response to stress. I saw it and I feel that because sometimes that happens to me. Yeah. Stop dropping. Anyway, TCV's endless day brought to you by Five Hour Energy. Also in in with the help of COVID Creative Odyssey, our network, our wonderful network and CTB New York, our good friend Bella doing all the booking for the show. So thanks everybody. We really appreciate everybody chipping in. Five years of the commercial break, six seasons. We're going to be talking about it all because we're going to have time to talk about it all. We're going to have time to do six more seasons of the commercial break. 212-4333. TCB 212433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas. Let us know if you want to be on the show. Add the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on tick tock, YouTube.com the commercial break and tcb podcast.com for all the information, all the comings and goings and your free schw. Still didn't tell that story, but I'll get to it. All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I love you and I love you. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say, and we must say goodbye.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It.