
Surprise! Today you get a little treat: a regular episode! Bryan & Krissy giggle their way through the perils of the world. No Infomercial today! Insure Bryan’s hands Plastic fruit (scary) The Mariana Trench?? The Quantum Witch returns (slay) Sometimes the show just isn't good, and that's not our fault! Those people… Clubhouse Brutal tweets about us Google gemini really said nah Bryan airing me (Producer Christina) out because I air him out in the show notes 72 year old Bill Belichick is dating a 23 year old (BARF) Krissy with the Below Deck reference MILF Manor crossing the line LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us 212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Watch for Live Show info at www.tcbpodcast.com Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A. Producer: Gustavo B. Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and ou...
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Brian Green
Okay, hold up. You're trying to tell me pirates have a leg? That's just for pegging on this episode of the commercial break.
Chrissy Hoadley
Trying to find love.
Dez Bishop
I'm just trying to find love. I'm 72 years old. I'm just trying to find love with my neighbor's 17 year old son. What's wrong with that? I done been hit. I done been hitting that rabbit. Watching my 17 year old neighbor mow the grass.
Brian Green
That.
Dez Bishop
I'm in the prime of my life. I'm in the prime. Can't move my lips or my eyes, but I'm in the prime of my life.
Brian Green
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boy. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Miz, the my Riz, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best of you, Chrissy.
Chrissy Hoadley
Best of you, Brian.
Brian Green
Best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us.
Chrissy Hoadley
You're welcome.
Brian Green
Hey, well, you had to be here. You're contractually obligated, talking about all the people who aren't contractually obligated to be here, which quite frankly surprises me a whole bunch that anybody's here.
Chrissy Hoadley
Absolutely does. Thank you.
Brian Green
Thank you. Certainly do appreciate it. Dear listener, do us one more favor. Show up to one of our shows in Florida so that someone appears so that there's someone in the audience. October 25th, October.
Chrissy Hoadley
Gentle listener.
Brian Green
Dear gentle listener. October 24th. October 20th. September 25th. 26th. I better get that right, huh?
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
Yes. September 25th.
Chrissy Hoadley
9. September 25th. 9.
Brian Green
9 times 9. 25 in Orlando, 926 in Tampa. You will not be disappointed or you will be highly disappointed. But I guarantee disappointed will be in the vocabulary you use when you leave the show. You'll be like, ah, I am not disappointed. They said mediocre and they did it. Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
Come with low expectations. And then that's the one you always leave on a high note. Hopefully.
Brian Green
It's kind of like this Trump debate this week, this Trump and Biden debate. I have zero expectations for either of them. And I sure they're, I'm sure they're going to be met. And they have a mute button.
Chrissy Hoadley
I saw that. I was laughing about that.
Brian Green
You know what? I give it a 10% chance that Trump actually shows up. 10 chance.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, I don't, I bet, I bet.
Brian Green
The day before he just says, I don't need a bit debate. This guy, he's an old man and I don't want to debate. And he's going to find a way to get out of it, because with the mute button off, he's. What? I mean, what's his gig then? Like, when he lets people actually speak? I don't know. But then maybe Biden should take that as pennies from heaven. Anyway, tune that in, if you're all about it. Well, it's a Tuesday, and we're usually here on a Tuesday doing a TCB infomercial. But we're taking a little siesta from the guest. Just this week, we had Bishop last week, and we're just taking a little break because of the way our recording schedule goes. We're taking some vacation time, so we're taking a break. We're just going do a regular episode here. So I'm sure you're happy about that or not happy about that.
Chrissy Hoadley
Disappointed is somewhere in there.
Brian Green
Happy is going to be somewhere in that word. Happy or not happy. One of those two things is. Is happening. Hey, I wanted to ask you about this. Have you seen Jack Osborne? Do you know Jack Osborne is okay. Jack Osborne, son of Ozzy son. They also do a podcast where they talk about all kind of. Oh, they do? Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
Everybody's got one.
Brian Green
Everyone has a podcast. It's surprising that anybody listens to any podcast because I think there's enough podcasts to have one person. There's one podcast per person living on this earth. I'm sure of it. And they're all in the comedy category. It's comedy or true crime. One of those two. Comedy, true crime or self help. That's right. Self help is. Is one of those. Those big ones, too. But Jack Osborne. And this came to my attention because of Jack Osborne on his podcast or on their podcast, he said that his wife had gone to Whole Foods. She grabs a stack of blueberries, like a packet of blueberries, and they are cleaning the blueberries, and then some of them fall into the sink accidentally, as blueberries can do.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah. Every time. Every time I wash the blueberries when.
Brian Green
I buy blueberries, I know I'm gonna eat half of them and the other half are gonna be on the floor in my daughter's diaper or in. Down the drain. One of the two.
Chrissy Hoadley
Exactly.
Brian Green
Or in the trash. Because I look at that one and I go, ah, not that one, but. So his wife was making some kind of something, and she grabs the blueberries, washes them in the pack, as a lot of us do. And because they got holes in the bottom, the water drips out.
Chrissy Hoadley
They're meant to be washed out. Like that.
Brian Green
And she drops a few in the disposal or in the sink and then she turns on the disposal and when she turns on the disposal she notices a weird sound. So she sticks her hand in there. Which by the way, cleaning your disposal out with your hand. Yeah. Is something we've all done. But it's a terrible idea.
Chrissy Hoadley
It really is.
Brian Green
I make sure that everyone is 15ft out of the kitchen before I clean my disposal. And on occasion I have actually flip the breaker because I'm like, I don't want that accident.
Chrissy Hoadley
No. I get the packets that you just throw down there with some hot water and that'll clean it. But the only time I, I do reach down in there as if there's a loud clanking.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
The fork has escaped down in there accidentally. Yes, Something. You have to pull it out once.
Brian Green
Twice, sometimes three times a year there is some kind of utensil or something that has gotten stuck down there where it just doesn't move. And so I've come, I've come to know two things is that one, if you, if you get a knife or a screwdriver or you stick your hand down there, a lot of times you can dig whatever that is out. But you have to be, everybody has to be clear of the button. Right. Clear of the switch. So sometimes when it's a little crowded in the kitchen, I'll even turn off the breaker. Cuz I just, I don't know, it's like one of those weird nightmarish fuel things that I have in my head that my hand's going to get chopped off by a disposal. Because these fingers, these fingers play guitar like a beautiful angel. And I have yet to bestow that gift upon anybody.
Chrissy Hoadley
No.
Brian Green
Except for Astrid. And, and, and notice I haven't played too much guitar since that first time I played guitar.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, he switched it up to the piano.
Brian Green
That's right. I was playing my piano. Yeah. These hands should be insured by like Lloyd's of London or something. So she throw that, she throws a couple. Oh, and the second thing I want to say about the disposal is there's a tool you can get at Home Depot where you go up under it and there's a little lug nut type thing under the bottom and you can use that tool to twist it and it pops the top of the, whatever that blade pops it up so that you can go then and dig it out.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Right, Blue. Got it right dog. Swear to God.
Chrissy Hoadley
Right Blue.
Brian Green
Yeah. So she throws a couple of the blueberries down there, turns on the Disposal. Here's a weird noise. Goes rooting around for whatever is down there. And what she pulls out is the blueberry. And the blueberry has been making, like, a weird clanking plastic sound, like something plastic is in the disposal. And so she picks it up, and it's like, all together. It's like a blueberry. And so then Jack goes and tries to cut it, and he has a hard time cutting into it. And when he does cut into it, it's hard. It's like a piece of plastic. It's like a plastic blueberry.
Chrissy Hoadley
What?
Brian Green
And so Jack is, like, freaking out about this on his podcast. And this is just a clip I saw, by the way. I haven't heard the whole podcast, but it's just a clip. He's, like, freaking out about this. This plastic food. They're putting some kind of weird membrane in, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, well, that's the Osborne's. Like, that's their thing. Their angle is aliens and conspiracy theories and all this other stuff. So I was like, okay, whatever. Because Instagram and Facebook and all these other ones are all listening to us and watching us at all times and feeding us whatever it is we talk about, they think we like or we talk about. I then get a series of reels from other people not related to Osborne, not talking about Jack, not talking about their podcast that are, like, showing. Showing that their fruit is, like, plastic. Now, I don't go down the conspiracy rabbit hole too many times, but now I'm seeing with my own two eyes that one lady peeled a banana. And they couldn't break it. They, like, couldn't break it. It was like they went like this, almost bending it in half. Like you would, like a really hard piece of plastic and it would not break. And then there's a lady with. I don't know what it was. It was strawberry or something. And then there's another lady who's with the bananas. There's, like, multiple reels out there that are getting hundreds of thousands of views showing the plastic, what they're calling plastic fruit. And some have come from Whole Foods, some have come from Costco, which, you know, you might not expect from Costco, and some are coming just from the local grocery store that these people are in plastic fruit. Huh? And so some people have speculated, theorized, that this is a type of substance that they spray on the fruit to make it shiny and waxy, which we've all known that for a long time. They spray it on the apples, and they spray it on other fruits to make it look shinier and more appealing. But I didn't think it could like, saturate the entire fruit and make it plastic. But I guess if it's like sitting right under the sprayer, maybe it just gets inundated with these, like, I don't know, carbon nano fiber.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, now, do you need to check the. Your check.
Brian Green
What?
Chrissy Hoadley
Do you need to check your fruit now? Like, you check the eggs Here I store.
Brian Green
Yeah, here I am letting my children guzzle fruit. I mean, guzzle it. Like.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, yeah.
Brian Green
Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries. They do not stay at this house for longer than half a day because my kids love them. And I'm so proud of myself. I'm like, wow, that is wonderful. Now, of course, they also love a Double cheeseburger from McDonald's, but I'm like, oh, my God, that's amazing. My kids love fruit. They ask for it by name. I'm really happy about that. I feel really good about it. And now I'm starting to wonder whether or not they're just putting some toxic chemical in the fruit that makes them want it more like they do the French fries at McDonald's or something like that. I mean, it's so weird. What can you trust anymore if a BlackBerry isn't a BlackBerry? What are we doing? How are we doing this?
Chrissy Hoadley
I don't know. I get, I try and get organic.
Brian Green
You know, when you go to Whole Foods, I think you expect that you're getting something a little bit better quality.
Chrissy Hoadley
Than say, I don't know, Amazon owns them now, though.
Brian Green
Yeah, it's true. Yeah, it's true that Bezos, I don't.
Chrissy Hoadley
Know about the quality. You have to look for the organic.
Brian Green
You know, let me pick.
Chrissy Hoadley
Little safety measure.
Brian Green
It's a little tiny safety measure, but organic to me just means a lot more expensive. And you know, I've read about how like kind of organic is a little bit of a scam. Like, well, organic.
Chrissy Hoadley
I think they have to be certified organic. That's a rigorous process. Now the, like, the all natural, where it says like all natural and cage free and different terms that.
Brian Green
Cage free, grass fed grass.
Chrissy Hoadley
Grass fed, grass fed grass.
Brian Green
Cage free.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, some of those terms. But I think organic, it's pretty. A strict certification process.
Brian Green
Don't know, I've heard, I've heard people say yes, and I've, I've heard plenty of people say that are like in the industry. I've watched documentaries where they're like, not really, like kind of, but not really. It just means that, you know, you use less pesticides or all natural pesticides, which are probably just as bad for you.
Chrissy Hoadley
I'm fooling myself. But I myself have. No, I don't experienced this before.
Brian Green
No, I haven't either. And. And I don't think you're fooling yourself. I think that there is reason to buy organic certainly. Right. But I'm not sure it's like, it's like the all in. We think it is. We see these magic words like fat free. Well, fat free is probably twice as unhealthy for you as actual it is. Or sugar free. I mean, does anybody really think Coke Zero tastes like that? Because it's got really great ingredients in it. I mean, come on. It's kind of like this number one ingredient is like xanthum. I don't even know what xanthum is. Cool word, dude, but I don't know what that is. And this is red dye number seven and five. I mean, you can use Coca Cola to take the paint off of a car.
Chrissy Hoadley
And clean your toilet.
Brian Green
And clean your toilet. Oh, I, I get those all the time. You know, cleaning your toilet and what, what you can use soda for. And there are so many things in your world that you cannot, you can just not get clean. Like pink scum on your. In your shower. That's like the most. Apparently one of the most dangerous types of neurotoxins to humans is that pink scuzz that you get. Like when your mold turns pink inside your shower. Do you know what I'm saying?
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, you can just get that off with some vinegar.
Brian Green
Not according to some people on Instagram who I trust way more than any of those experts you're talking about.
Chrissy Hoadley
I just used this the other day.
Brian Green
Yeah, well, someone says put a little Coke, Coke Zero in there and watch it dissipate. Because Coke Zero could kill anything on the planet. Except for Tammy from my 106, my 600 pound sisters or whatever. Apparently. So piggybacking off of this a little bit.
Chrissy Hoadley
Fronting.
Brian Green
What's that? Piggy fronting. Thank you, Chrissy. I keep on forgetting that we're on a mission to tear Teresa Caputo down one episode at a time. Piggy fronting off of that. You know, you think about Jeff Bezos owning Whole Foods and Washington Post and Amazon and all this other stuff. I'm. I do not argue with capitalism because it works as well as any other system that's been in place.
Chrissy Hoadley
Sure.
Brian Green
And it's got a lot of downfalls and there's a lot of windfalls that come with that and Jeff Bezos and all of these incredibly rich human beings that seem to be consolidating everything at the top. You know, argue with it, don't argue with it. That's a conversation for a different show. But I think about these people and I wonder, do they really have the best interest of anybody except for themselves at heart? At the end of the day? No, you don't want to know why? Because none of us do. At the end of the day, we're all just trying to figure out what's best for us. And if we can do a few kind things for other people along the way, then we probably pat ourselves on the back. Right. I watched this 60 Minutes special on the bottom of the area. The area is the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean. It's almost three miles down that the trash swirl. Not the trash swirl.
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
But that's terrible in and of itself. We can spend a whole nother episode on that. What I watched is that between California, between San Diego and Hawaii, there is some of the deepest ocean in the world. There's no sunlight. It reaches zero degrees Celsius in some cases.
Chrissy Hoadley
Those weird creatures down you get, the.
Brian Green
Weird creatures, they think there might be 6, 000 species living down there, and they have only discovered like 57 of them. Right. So it's, it's, it's like one of the most remote places on Earth. It has. Very little of it has been discovered, has been mapped, has been understood by any scientist. However, leave it up to the capitalists to figure out that the very bottom of the ocean, little pieces of bone from dinosaurs. Millions or billions of years ago, little pieces of bone or organic matter would fall to the bottom of the ocean to sit on the sediment floor. And when they did that, then little tiny pieces of metal would start to accumulate on them at the rate of 1cm per million years. Think about that. 1cm per million years. And they turn into these little black balls of metal. And they're around encased, encasing these. Okay. Nickel, iron ore, cobalt.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yes, Yes, I did. Yeah. So they're mining it now?
Brian Green
Well, they're trying to, yeah. And in some places on the ocean floor, it's apparent these little black balls are the size of like a baseball in most cases. And apparently on some parts of the ocean floor, it's like cobblestone streets full of these little black balls.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Tens and tens of millions of them. It has taken billions of years for them to get there. And what lives on them all kind of Organisms inside them, on them, around them, whole ecosystems, around these little black balls, what they call a battery in a ball.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, right.
Brian Green
Okay. Because these metals are more precious than gold. Why? Because everybody is trying to transition into clean energy. And, and in order to really make it happen, the batteries have to get better because they're just no good right now. They're not good. Ask Tesla drivers who are in Chicago who have to leave their car in the middle of the fucking highway because the batteries don't work when it gets minus 2 degrees, which it does every fucking winter in Chicago. It's like you just have to find a better battery. Something that lasts longer, that holds a charge better.
Guest/Comedian
Quantum.
Chrissy Hoadley
I think the quantum which would know.
Brian Green
Yes, Crazy.
Guest/Comedian
If you take some dinosaur bones and you take a little bit of earth sediment and then you put some Ozzy Osborne in there for good measure. Battery in a ball. It's quantum magic. I've solved all your problems. All you have to do is go three miles down under the freezing cold ocean and pick them up like the little baseballs that they are. Quantum magic.
Chrissy Hoadley
Grow them up.
Brian Green
Yes.
Guest/Comedian
Maybe that airplane that disappeared can find them for us. They're still alive at the bottom of the ocean collecting magic balls. It's magic. Quantum magic.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes. Figures. Everything.
Brian Green
Quantum batteries.
Guest/Comedian
They're all the rage.
Brian Green
Yes.
Guest/Comedian
Take some cobalt, a little iron ore, 2 billion years worth of evolution and destroy it in a month. All of our problems are solved. Now you can, you can search for your incest porn, your stepsister, screw stepbrother, born 7.7 times faster with your brand new cobalt battery that I mined from the bottom of the ocean. I unleashed aliens.
Chrissy Hoadley
Possums.
Brian Green
Ah, no. Possums. That was a mistake.
Guest/Comedian
I want to put that one back in the can.
Brian Green
Back in the cauldron.
Guest/Comedian
Put the top on the possum.
Producer Christina
Cauldron.
Brian Green
No more.
Guest/Comedian
Oh, it's scary. That's an example of AI and quantum physics gone wrong.
Brian Green
So they. So this guy, the battery guy or whatever he's calling himself, the battery guy or you know, some wild America it looks like. I, I don't know, Stephen Colbert did a whole thing on this and you should go watch. Not Stephen Colbert. John Oliver.
Chrissy Hoadley
John Oliver, yeah.
Brian Green
Did a whole thing on this and you should go watch it because it's, it's really very interesting.
Chrissy Hoadley
I always want to call him Colbert too.
Brian Green
Yeah, I know. All of them white middle aged men, they're all like, all of us. I say them like it's them, it's us. They all feel. I mean, I know they're different, but for some reason I do lump them in together. It doesn't help that they did a podcast together for like, you know, six months or maybe they still do it. I'm not sure.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, and John. Well, Don Oliver was on the Daily Show.
Brian Green
He was.
Chrissy Hoadley
Which also Colbert.
Brian Green
Yeah, that's true.
Chrissy Hoadley
Was on.
Brian Green
So, yeah, Jon Stewart, John Colbert, John Stewart, John Oliver and Stephen Colbert, they're all the same. First.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
Anyway, so this guy is gonna, this guy is trying to tell this group of nations that basically monitor what they literally call the area. He's trying to convince them that he can send these machines down and do little disturbance to the bottom of the ocean. And mine all of these battery balls. The problem is we. They don't even know what's down there, first of all. Second of all, they have no idea how it's going to impact the ocean, Third of all, have we learned no lessons yet? I mean, I agree with you. Battery in a ball sounds cool. If that means that, like, you know, it's a for sure done deal. The earth is going to be cleaner and everyone, you know, pollution troubles are going to disappear and we'll all of a sudden have the magic, I don't know, the magic that we need to make it all run wonderful. But there is no silver bullet here, I don't think. And it. And I'm just saying I'm not convinced either way, but that John Oliver report, and I know he skews a certain way, but that John Oliver report sure does. When I watch, like when I watch the guy who, the CEO of this company, I go, does he have anybody's interest at heart except for his. At the end of the day, he wants to be famous. He wants to be the billionaire. He wants to. He wants to be savior of the world. Look how many billionaires we have that have savior complexes already. And we don't need them. We just don't need them. They're kooks that like, are solving no problems whatsoever and they consolidate power and money at the top. I'm not arguing about capitalism. I'm arguing about the personalities who consolidate so much power. And when you see this guy, he is an A class double douche. That's what he is. He's the kind of guy who gets arrested in the Hamptons for drunk driving. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And all I got to say is, like him, don't like him. I'm sure he's a lovely guy at a dinner party or whatever, but. And he's got an Interesting story to tell about how he can make everything go. All our problems go away just by mining these golf balls. But at the end of the day.
Chrissy Hoadley
Like, have they gotten one or.
Brian Green
Yeah, oh, yeah. They. Yeah, yeah. People have them.
Chrissy Hoadley
They, they, you got. They got them.
Brian Green
Yeah. Scientists have studied them, you know.
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
As much as they have. Right. It's not like a, you know, it's hard to get three miles down.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, no, it is.
Brian Green
Ask those people in that submarine how that went. You know what I'm saying? Still trying to get over that one. So all I got to say is we should probably just, like, slow down for a second. Like, slow down for a second before we decide to go mining, you know, 450,000 square miles of the ocean that has yet to even be, like, scientifically studied in any kind of way, shape or form. Maybe we should just, like, slow down for a second and then figure out if this is really the panacea that this guy in particular thinks it is before we do that. Because are we just, like, fucking another generation of human beings? Because I know we got to have a new Tesla or Rivian or, you know, GMC plug in hybrid model. I don't know. I don't. I don't know the answer that. By the way, where do we think we're getting all of this electricity from anyway? It's from coal burning fossil fuel plants.
Guest/Comedian
Which drives me crazy.
Brian Green
It's like the other thing. It's like no one thinks about where that actual electricity is coming from. We should have stuck with nuclear. That's what I got to say. And we should have nuclear plants in every state in this country, and they should. We should all just be getting nuclear power because that's it. But, you know, now they have quantum.
Guest/Comedian
Quantum, quantum fission, fusion and fission. Do you know the difference? Either do I. I ask. My quantum computer vision is when it fizzes, fusion is when it fuses. But one of them is easy to do and one of them quite hard. And whichever one that is, they're working on it. That much I know.
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay, good.
Guest/Comedian
See, I can sound like a real dumbass with this voice, and it's funny.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
I found Reddit posts last night about us. I'm not gonna read them. I didn't. I don't. I didn't even want to send you the Reddit. It's good for, like, the first three comments, and then it goes.
Chrissy Hoadley
I was laughing about our reviews because I, you know, you get that weekly digest.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
You know, that shows. Which I was surprised to see that we were somehow charting in South Korea under the Gaming.
Brian Green
Gaming. Gaming.
Chrissy Hoadley
I'll show it to you.
Brian Green
That's so weird.
Chrissy Hoadley
So anyways, I was looking at it, it showed some reviews and it's so funny because it's just like, you know, these two. What the fuck? They had all these good stars, so I, I did it. Listen, they're dumb. We don't like them. The next one's like, you guys. I know, right?
Brian Green
It's like, it's literally one in one. Yeah. But let me share with you, I think a little bit about why I think the Apple reviews are like this. I think when we first start, no one's paying attention. The only people who are giving us reviews are people that are really like, caught us at this. I'm talking about the beginning of the show, first year, our friends, family, or people who may have a vested interest in seeing us do well. Right. And so call that the first 10 or 20 reviews. Then as we get deeper into the show, the reviews get further and further, like fewer and further between. But most of them are rather nice, you know, funny show, very, you know, interesting and funny or whatever. But then you get into like year number two and a half and then you're starting to get like new people to the show and one person says one thing shitty and the next person says something. I take that as a sign that the show is growing and it's real.
Chrissy Hoadley
I know. Well, I'm like, it's not for everyone. I just want to write that to the naysayers.
Brian Green
What does this have to do with battering a ball? I have no idea. But okay, cool.
Chrissy Hoadley
Dude, how did we get on that?
Brian Green
I don't know, but get there, Brian. Get there, get there. That should be the new. That should be the new tagline. Just get there. I mean, I agree the show is. Sometimes it's just not good.
Chrissy Hoadley
But what can I do, you know? Yeah, we put out so many.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
Guys, it's hard.
Brian Green
Think about a baseball game or a football game or a hockey game or whatever sport you're into. Think of Rory McElroy, one of the quote unquote best golfers around. Can't hit a two foot putt to save his life on any given Sunday either, can we? It's just the same. It's like we're gonna be okay to you sometimes. Sometimes you're not gonna be into it and sometimes you're gonna think it's. It's rip roaring hilarious. I don't know what days those are, but send them to me when you Find them. Point them out, will you?
Chrissy Hoadley
They don't end in Y. I know.
Brian Green
But now our reviews are like. I'd call it 1/3.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's funny.
Brian Green
It's. It's one third. These guys are. What are you talking about? And then another.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's entertaining. I really enjoy them.
Brian Green
Yeah, the reviews. Yes. Yeah, I, I, I Googled it. Like the new AI ge Google Gemini or whatever.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Brian Green
The new search function. And I saw. Yeah, yeah, oh, same results in a pretty little package.
Guest/Comedian
Congratulations, Google. You did nothing.
Chrissy Hoadley
I still haven't even tried any of that stuff. I need to get on.
Brian Green
Well, you can just go. It's. If you have the updated version on your phone, it'll. It'll use Gemini.
Chrissy Hoadley
I don't have the original version.
Brian Green
Oh, well, then there you go. Chrissy's. He's using her BlackBerry.
Chrissy Hoadley
Is it just a Google search?
Brian Green
That's it. Google search. And now it uses what is called Gemini, which is AI functionality. There's a lot more to it than the search. But anyway, okay, so I was searching and then I'm going down, I'm just scrolling down, scrolling down, same, you know, same things you always see. It's 5 million different podcast players that claim that we're. They're the home of the commercial break and blah, blah, blah.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's funny.
Brian Green
Yeah. And then I saw, like, multiple people are selling. Multiple websites are selling the show. Want to advertise on the commercial break? Contact us here. And I'm like, wow. Yeah. I would argue, but I'm like, yeah, you want to buy. Go to those guys. Somehow they'll get here. I guess they'll let us know. I suppose that's funny. But Odyssey is the home of the commercial break, just to be clear about that. But anyway, so then I get down to, like, you know, page number two, and it's Reddit posts, and I was like, some of them almost a year old, and then some of them more newer, but I thought to myself, oh, shit, if we're in Reddit territory. I was hoping to stay off Reddit for the entirety of the podcast, but I guess eventually it was bound to catch up with us. I need to look anyway. Watch out for your fruit and battery balls. Battery balls. Good idea. Bad idea. Don't know. But that's the point. Don't know. Let's try and figure it out before we decide to destroy 450,000 square miles of our Earth. Oh, my God. We just got to think a little bit. Think a little bit. And whether whatever side of that debate you're on, like, good for the earth, bad for the earth. You know, humans cause warming. Humans don't cause warming. Whatever side you're on, you're an idiot. But if whatever side you're on, I think we can all agree, like, just, you know, don't go fast and break things. Why don't we go slow and figure out how we do it best? That's. That's my opinion.
Chrissy Hoadley
I agree.
Brian Green
All right, let's take a break and then we'll be back and we'll talk more about those Reddit posts. We'll be back.
Producer Christina
Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want, or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year.
Brian Green
Of course.
Producer Christina
Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on Tik Tok at TCB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com Now, I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.
Brian Green
All right, so AI Gemini. AI spits out all these results, and then I'm going down the list. I get to like the second page or something like that. And I noticed this Reddit post. And the Reddit post starts off like this. I can only see it in the search. Now, remember, I haven't clicked through to Ready yet. I'm watching, looking down the search page and it says, caught an episode of this podcast. And they talked about that podcast. The Commercial Break podcast. Absolutely hilarious. You know, you guys should check them out. Now, there's only a couple of replies. I think there's like four or five something like that replies. I am laying in bed. I. It's like 12:30 at night.
Chrissy Hoadley
Your bed pillow.
Brian Green
Yeah, with my bed pillow. That's right. And I'm doing my nightly searches of me to make sure to make sure that I'm as important as I think I am. And, you know, stupid. The thing I use AI for most. Tell me about the Commercial Break Podcast. I swear to God.
Chrissy Hoadley
Putting it to good use.
Brian Green
Yeah, I don't know what it's all about. I'm just trying to figure it all out. And so then I click through. Boink. I click through to the page and here it is. So this guy has this nice little paragraph, right? A guy, I assume based on his. I won't even say his pen name or whatever you call it, his Reddit name. His Reddit name. It says, you know, heard the commerce. Heard about this podcast on that podcast, the commercial break podcast is really funny and hilarious. I actually found it quite delightful or whatever he said, you know, you should check it out.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And so the next person. Yes, thank you, Reddit guy 10333. So the next guy or girl says, I see them everywhere. Haven't checked it out. I'll have to give it a listen. Then the next person reached out.
Chrissy Hoadley
Did they see our billboards?
Brian Green
Yeah, they probably did. In Des Moines, Iowa, at three in the morning on Highway 585, right?
Guest/Comedian
Check me out, cash me outside.
Brian Green
So the next. It's. So the third one down is like, yeah, I heard this show a year or so ago. It was funny sometimes, but I didn't put it. It's not on my regular list of shows. I'll have to go check it out again. Right. And then bring in the last guy or girl, I'm assuming guy, you know, average age, 33 years old, you know, wearing a, I don't know, sandals. You know the type. Chrissy, those, those guys. The kind of, kind of people wear shoes to work.
Chrissy Hoadley
Close toed shoes.
Brian Green
Close toed shoes. The kind of people who have bank accounts and can take nice vacations to Indianapolis or credit card works, their credit cards turned on. Those kind people. Kind of people who don't have to silence their phone because of bill collectors. You know, those kind of people. Not me. Those people. It says, read your post. Checked out 15 minutes. Almost threw up in my mouth. Never again. Your taste in podcasts is terrible.
Chrissy Hoadley
Perfect.
Brian Green
Perfect. Like, I think I'm gonna put that as our new slogan. Yes, almost threw up in my mouth. Your taste in podcast.
Chrissy Hoadley
Don't we have some of those on our homepage like of our website where we have a few reviews? You should put that one.
Brian Green
I think one of them is from like my mom, your dad. Oh, Brian's so funny. And then the other one is like, Brian needs to get a real job. I told him to get a real job. Which is true, by the way. He does tell me that every once in a while. He's like, are you sure about this podcast thing? I mean it's good and everything, but he's sure. Well, my stepmom's sitting there just like, what a idiot. What a moron.
AI Voice
I know.
Chrissy Hoadley
My dad still thinks it's a. A video blog.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
Or something.
Brian Green
Yeah. My mom's still trying to tune it in on the radio.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah. He's like, you're.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
You're headed to Roswell.
Brian Green
See? Yeah. Okay. All right, well, let me know why.
Chrissy Hoadley
You'Re not asking me for money.
Brian Green
Yeah. Oh, she will be, Mr. Hoadley. That day is coming soon, Mr. Hoadley, don't you worry. I'm afraid one of these days I'm gonna get a phone call from your dad or from Jeff, like I'm a controlling, abusive husband. Just let her go, man. Just let her go. You could just let her go. No harm. Yeah, he's never gonna leave on her own. Just tell her, sorry, didn't work out. I gotta move on. Not my fault. It's your fault. It's your fault. It's my fault. Have the breakup talk with her now. Just don't break her heart, okay? You already broke her piggy bank. Don't break her heart.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, no, we're doing this.
Brian Green
To which I would reply, I'll do it for a thousand dollars. Here's my Zell. Sorry, Chrissy, you're off the show. We needed the thousand. Oh, yeah, but I. You know, you get into Reddit territory, that's a different animal altogether. Now, Reddit is more demure than some of those other. I'd like. I. I have. Way back when the show started, when we were on Clubhouse a lot, and.
Chrissy Hoadley
I did gain that bustling community.
Brian Green
Oh, that bustling community of human beings that all died at the same time. I guess everybody had a funeral the same day. That thing. I mean, we've talked. We talked about this a couple weeks ago, but that thing literally turned off like a light switch.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Literally. Overnight, it went away. Overnight it went away. I mean, it's not away. It's still there, but I don't know what it does now. It's like, leave a voice message, call you back later. It's like leaving voice messages for people. It's really stupid and strange and, you know, and now on Clubhouse, they only have active rooms, like, once every two or three hours, which, back in the heyday, there was a new room every second. There was a day someone was opening up a new room, and there would be hundreds and hundreds of people in some of these rooms. Thousands of people in some of these rooms. But, you know, I never forget the night that Joe Rogan came on and I just happened to be in the room when he was, and when he came on, he's he was there for maybe 15 minutes, and he sounded so skeptical, and he said it out loud. He's like, yeah, well, you know, if someone asked him, is Clubhouse the new podcasting? You know, some dumb shit question, you know, club. They said, clubhouse is the new podcasting. What do you think? And he's like, well, I don't think so. I think this is a little bit trendy and, you know, I'm not sure what will come of it. But I'm not. I'm not rushing to get on Clubhouse and replace the podcast, if that's what you're asking. He sounded so skeptical of it, and I. That.
Chrissy Hoadley
Because you've even talked about, like, should we do the podcast on Clubhouse?
Brian Green
Well, we did a couple of times, but unfortunately it was right at the demise of Clubhouse, so no one showed up.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's right.
Brian Green
Just like our live shows. September 25th and 26th, the 25th in Orlando and the 26th in Tampa. Come on down. Be the first. I'm gonna put on the website, buy tickets, be the first. You know, sometimes they say, limited tickets, going hot, hot.
Chrissy Hoadley
You know, only a few left.
Brian Green
Only a few left. Sold out artists is gonna say, be the first. I'm sure the promoter is gonna love that. So back when Clubhouse was a thing, you know, I had some followers. Like, I did a lot of rooms, and so I amassed a little following over there. It was worth nothing, apparently. Now I was thinking I was gonna be able to sell my page and all that. They're gonna buy my followers for a million dollars. It's gonna be crazy. Coca Cola is gonna sponsor every room. I gotta be a millionaire.
Chrissy Hoadley
I do remember this song.
Brian Green
I've got over 2,000 followers.
Guest/Comedian
Look out.
Brian Green
Look out, Leah Lamar, I'm coming for you. Nothing, nothing shines so brightly. I don't want to bust on Leah because I know she's a nice person, but nothing shines so brightly in the clubhouse ethos. That's Leah Lamar.
Chrissy Hoadley
You talk about her all the time.
Brian Green
That poor girl. That poor girl. I mean, she was, like the belle of the ball. And then where did she go? She's nowhere. She was, like, opening up for Dane Cook in Las Vegas, and now I don't know what she's doing now. She's cooking for Dane Cook in Las Vegas, I think. I don't know. I don't know. I'm sure she's still out there. I love Leah. I'm just kidding. I like Leah. She's a. The few interactions I had with her were fine. They were fine. She Was there.
Chrissy Hoadley
The Clubhouse days.
Brian Green
We thought we were so important. I know, I know, I know. And then one person, one time got a sponsored room made like $5,000 they had to split 12 ways with 17 people on stage. And we were all like, here comes.
Guest/Comedian
The waterfall of ca.
Brian Green
Sorry, honey, I know it's three in the morning and you're nine months pregnant, but I gotta get on Clubhouse. Listen, can you do the C section by yourself? Lea Lamar's in the comedy room, and she's gonna bring me on stage to say nothing. Nothing. Leah Lamar would bring me on stage every afternoon. I never said anything.
Guest/Comedian
It's a waterfall of cash.
Brian Green
I'm literally gonna get a million dollars for just being in the same room as Leah Lamar. It's crazy. Babe, I'm telling you, this is the future for our kids. Two months later.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, honey, we're pivoting.
Brian Green
Yeah. Why is this strange, man in all the pictures with the birth of our child?
Guest/Comedian
Well, I had to find somebody. You asshole. You remember you had to be in the Afternoon Delight comedy room in Clubhouse.
Brian Green
I know, but I love you.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, my God.
Brian Green
All right, so. So we. So I amassed this little following. People are like, get there, Brian. Okay, settle down. You know it. There's a reason why some people think the show is terrible, and I'm the reason. So just stick with me. Okay? All right. So I amassed this little, little following, and then I'll never forget one day I woke up and somebody had texted me from Clubhouse saying, you know, people are tweet. Somebody's tweeting about your show, and there's like a whole thread going on about this. Oh, right. And I was like, oh, okay, this is really exciting. So I never forgot. I woke up, I told Astrid. I was like, oh, this is really exciting. You know, this person sent me a link. So I open it up, and it's not like. It's not people talking about my show. It's like three people going back and forth, replete, you know, replying to each other's tweets at that time about how terrible the commercial break is, just how terrible it is. And I mean, they were being brutal. Like, brutal. They were breaking down every bit of one of these episodes. And I never forget just thinking to myself, don't even go down the rabbit hole. Last night, when I was doing this whole, you know, found this whole Reddit thing, I know that there were other posts out there about the show, but I didn't even go there. I was like, you know what? Just don't go there. You're just gonna make yourself upset for no reason. It's just. Just people out there. They don't. Who cares? You like the show. You like the show. You don't like the show. You don't like the show. Honestly, I'm too old to be worried about that kind of stuff. I got a growing prostate and family, and those two things keep me pretty busy.
Chrissy Hoadley
Exactly.
Brian Green
That's all it is. Exactly. That's all it is. But I. I do follow those reviews on Apple, and I do think they're. They're quite funny, actually.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's entertaining.
Brian Green
Yeah, I think the ones that are negative are the most entertaining.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brian Green
Like these two sure do think they're funny as we're laughing at our own. I know. Yeah. What is it? Stuck on our own petard. What is that? How do you say that?
Chrissy Hoadley
Pitard.
Brian Green
Petard. Have you heard that saying? You got stuck on your own petard. Hold on one second. I just ask.
Chrissy Hoadley
Ask Gemini.
Brian Green
Yeah, ask Gemini here. I'll ask Gemini. Hold on one second.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh.
Brian Green
Google. Okay, here we go. We're going to use Gemini here live on the. On the first thing. The. We are the first people to use Gemini live on a podcast, probably for good reason. What is the saying that ends with on your own patar?
AI Voice
The saying is hoisted by one's own petard. It means to be harmed or defeated by your own plan or scheme.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's. That's sound. That tracks.
Brian Green
Okay. That tracks.
Guest/Comedian
That was good.
Brian Green
Good for you, Gemini. Here we go. Ready? Tell me about the commercial Break comedy podcast. I don't know if we want to even let this one fly. Okay.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, no.
Brian Green
Hold on it.
Chrissy Hoadley
You broke it.
AI Voice
Break is a comedy podcast hosted by best friends Brian Green and Chrissy Hoadley. They describe their show as an improv comedy interview and variety show that dives into our shared insanity, pop culture, Internet oddities, relationship drama, dark humor, games, and listener feedback. If you're looking for a podcast with a wacky sense of humor and a refreshing lack of filters, Commercial Break is definitely worth. Worth checking out. You can find them on most podcast platforms or visit their website.
Chrissy Hoadley
Commercial Break Podcast Lagging Filters.
Brian Green
Hold on one second. Do people think the commercial Break comedy podcast is funny? Question mark.
Chrissy Hoadley
By people.
AI Voice
What do you mean for the commercial break are mixed love the host's wacky humor and find the show hilarious. Others find it to be rambling and not funny at all. Join the Commercial Break depends on your sense of humor. If you enjoy improv comedy and dark humor, you might find it entertaining. If you prefer more polished or scripted, you might not be a fan.
Brian Green
If you prefer people that know what they're talking about, you're probably not going to be into this.
Guest/Comedian
Even Gemini can't help themselves.
Brian Green
Even Gemini thinks the commercial ring is. It's not for everyone.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's right.
Brian Green
You, Gemini, you. All right, let's take a break. That's great.
Dez Bishop
Oh, wow.
Chrissy Hoadley
That is fantastic.
Brian Green
I, quite frankly, I like chat GBT better. They had a better review of the commercial break. It said it's not for everyone. It said even the hosts say it's not for everyone. But most people find it pleasant. Something like that.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, well.
Brian Green
A.I. is going to destroy us all. It just destroyed my. Just gave me a bad day and a heartache. All right, we'll be back.
Producer Christina
Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-4333, TCB. And you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year.
Brian Green
Of course.
Producer Christina
Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercialbringer break and on TikTok CB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G. And here they are.
Brian Green
All right. As Christina would say, I can never pass up an opportunity to talk about an age gap relationship. So that Christina, I'm telling you what, we love her. First of all, she calls me in a panic yesterday because she's, she's reviewing the DEZ Bishop episode. And in that, what you didn't hear was there was like a, like 12 minutes where we talked. 12 or 13 minutes where we were talking before we get on air just to pull the covers back a little. Wow. The light just turned on.
Chrissy Hoadley
It did.
Brian Green
That was weird. The camera adjusted and like, my face got brighter. What you. What you must know. I mean, you must be dumb if you don't know this. I probably shouldn't say that. You must not have paid that much attention if you don't understand that. What we do is we record the intros and the outros, but we do that separately from the guest. And so when the guest comes on, we actually talk to them for a few minutes and we say, you know, pleasantries. And then we say, okay, let's get started recording.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, it's more for technical reasons.
Brian Green
Yeah. Just to make sure that the microphones are working. And, you know, how long. You know, how long. What time do you need to go? And what would, you know, what's the most important thing you want to get through all that other stuff, but it's not a very long time. We really do, like. Do we kind of go cold into it? Few minutes of talking cold into it. Some people we, like, we just end up talking too longer before we actually get on air. And Des is one of those people. And we had this long conversation, and one of the things that we said was, I go, dez, I think it's funny that in one of your reels lately, you said that you should be a talk show host, but instead you're in your basement on a Tuesday recording a podcast, which was. We recorded on a Tuesday in his basement. So we were just laughing about this. And I said, well, you know, don't worry about it. We're all struggling. We're all trying to figure it out. I'm, you know, we're wondering whether or not we can afford to pay. Pay for our new producer. And I was making a joke, of course, and Christina's freaking out because she's like. She's like, is everything okay? Because I heard that and like. And I'm like, no, Christina, of course you're not going anywhere. It was just a joke. It was improv. We were improving. I was riffing, and she's like, okay. But then I noticed that Christina likes to. She's. There's her own sassy little attitude in the show notes, if you must know. Christina writes the show.
Chrissy Hoadley
I know. I love it.
Brian Green
So when you read them and we're essentially making fun of ourselves, it's not us making fun of ourselves. It's Christina making fun of us because she disagrees with something we say or she finds it an opportunity. Time to make a joke about me.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah. Chris and Brian don't know about the song. That's very. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brian Green
They got this wrong. Yeah. Not right on that. This is gross. Why did you say that, old white man? When I call myself an old white man in the show notes, it ain't me, but we love Christina. She's not going anywhere, by the way.
Chrissy Hoadley
No.
Brian Green
And she does a great job, so. Yes. But one of the things she always says is, Brian never misses an opportunity to talk about an age gap relationship. Because I have an age gap relationship, if you must know. Astrid is Younger than I am. And by a few years. Like, not by a small amount, by a few years. Not 30 years, but also not four years. So it's, you know, somewhere in between.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes. And so does DEZ and Hannah.
Brian Green
Yeah, so does and Hannah. And so that's why we were talking about it. So on that same, like, you know, road. I just found out about this a couple days ago, like I'm sure the rest of the earth did, if you're even paying attention. Bill Belichick. Remember Bill Belichick?
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
The very famous coach of the Patriots. He got let go or he. He left or whatever the situation was. He interviewed for the Atlanta Falcons job. The Atlanta Falcons did not make him extend him an my understanding he did. No one after Bill Belichick won like, what, like seven Super Bowls or something like that?
Chrissy Hoadley
Tons.
Brian Green
No one offered him a job really. Yes, because he's very. Because apparently he's very difficult to work with. And he only knows one thing, and that's training quarterbacks. And he does a very good job at that. Or he did a good job of that once. And so people were worried that, you know, he's a little bit older, he's got a brash style, he wants to be in complete control. And some owners just don't like the. That. I don't know Bill Belichick. Don't know the guy from a hole in the wall.
Chrissy Hoadley
So MAGA guy.
Brian Green
I don't know Bill Belichick.
Chrissy Hoadley
I think so.
Brian Green
I don't know. I'm just talking about the football. Okay.
Chrissy Hoadley
So I'm just talking about football.
Brian Green
He might be. He might not be. So he started dating this girl, Jordan Hudson, who is 23 years old. I think she's like a. A model, a bikini model or something like that. The 217. Okay, so here I'll read the story from you. Ready? Bill Belichick all smiles with Jordan Hudson during first encounter. Bill Belichick was grinning from ear to ear the day he met his now girlfriend, Jordan Hudson. You can check out the photo that TMZ has. Has obtained of the New England ex New England coach. Nearly giddy. The pick was taken at some point during a February.
Chrissy Hoadley
Nearly giddy.
Brian Green
Nearly giddy.
Chrissy Hoadley
Because if you ever see quite. Yeah, but nearly.
Brian Green
If anybody has resting dick face, it's Bill Belichick.
Chrissy Hoadley
He was nearly giddy.
Brian Green
His face from. The pig was taken at some point during a February 2021 flight after the future hall of Famer had sat next to Hudson as they were both headed to Boston from Florida. Our Sources say at one point during the trip, Belichick leaned in to inquire about some schoolwork. Hudson, a college student at the time, had been working on on. And they hit it off, we're told. The two talked about Hudson's deductive logic textbook for a while, and the conversation was so good that Belichick ultimately autographed the inside cover of it along with his John Hancock. Belichick gave him her the half hard.
Chrissy Hoadley
What?
Brian Green
Oh, my God. How much Cialis do you think Belichick is on? The two at some point exchange contact information. Our sources say they're mentioned. Then they remained friendly following the flight. Eventually, the 72 year old bill Belichick broke things off with his longtime girlfriend, Linda Holiday, as they became romantic. The two have kept their relationship largely under wraps, although recently they've been seen together in Croatia and at Tom Brady's Patriot hall of Fame introduction induction ceremony. Neither has commented on the relationship.
Chrissy Hoadley
Wait, so somebody snapped a picture of them on the plane?
Brian Green
I think it looks like. It looks like she snapped the picture on the plane and then sent it somewhere. You know what I'm saying?
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
Okay. So here's Jordan Hudson. She's a. Well, and of course, she's 20, you know, at the time. 21, 22 years old. A lovely girl, right? Yes, lovely, beautiful girl. Not hard to see why Bill Belichick would think she's physically attractive. Have never heard her speak. Don't have any firsthand knowledge about any of this. About anything. Don't. I don't have a first half knowledge about anything. But that is an age gap relationship.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes, it is. But they've got deductive logic in common.
Brian Green
If you got that. What else do you need? You know, a lot of Cialis and. Yeah, I don't know, a walker here and there. Bikini, throw a little bikini or lack of bikini. And by the way, everyone's visiting Croatia these days. My brother went to Croatia.
Chrissy Hoadley
I really want to go. It's supposed to be beautiful.
Brian Green
Kevin said it was one of the most beautiful places he has ever been to. He went to Montenegro. He said that that was like outrageously gorgeous. Gorgeous. And he was sending.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's right there in the. In the little Mediterranean area. It's next to Baltic area or something. It's next to Italy, so.
Brian Green
Oh, it's next to Italy. Croatia is right next door. Christy's like, I don't want to be wrong, but maybe.
Chrissy Hoadley
I think so.
Brian Green
Okay, let's see here.
Chrissy Hoadley
I think it is. It's right in that little Mediterranean spoon.
Brian Green
Okay, good Good, Chrissy, good description.
Chrissy Hoadley
Thank you.
Brian Green
No, you're right, you're right. Well, it's not next door, but it's across the Mediterranean.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's okay.
Brian Green
Yeah. Or whatever that sea. Is this the sea of Italy? Yep.
Chrissy Hoadley
There you go. That's where Italy came in.
Brian Green
Yeah. So Kevin went to Montenegro, into Croatia. He loved it and apparently it's very beautiful there.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, I've heard.
Brian Green
Yeah. Kevin was sending me pictures. Kevin was sending me pictures. This is like, I don't know, this like five or six years ago before he had a girlfriend. Just want to make that clear. Before he had a girlfriend. But sending me pictures of this pool that he was at. Like on these cliffs overlooking the Mediterranean in this beautiful hotel. Infinity pool, just gorgeous. Like picture perfect. And he was sending me pictures.
Chrissy Hoadley
Good for Kevin.
Brian Green
He was sending me pictures of all the Go Kevin. Beautiful women in Croatia. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, good for you. Congratulations.
Chrissy Hoadley
They went there on a below deck season.
Brian Green
Oh, they did. Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, Captain Sandy below Dick.
Brian Green
Indeed, Captain Sandy. But I have to say, say, you know, here's where I think age gap relationships can get problematic is when there's like five decades between the two of you. What in the world are you going to have in common in five years or in 10 years? She is going to be in her early 30s. He is going to be in his 80s. Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, it's like two. I remember going on a date with somebody that was I think 20, 25 years older than me.
Brian Green
Okay.
Chrissy Hoadley
We met through work and he was a business owner and I was selling advertising and blah, blah, blah, asked me out. So I was like, well, why not? So suspicious as fuck. It just didn't really work though, because we didn't have like, it. We were so generational. Like he didn't even know what we couldn't. Like, like the same music.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
The same shows.
Brian Green
Like nothing.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, nothing was, that was a problem.
Brian Green
Astrid is lucky that I'm so immature that I, I, I still catch on to these things. Like I, you know, I try and stay happy and cool and all that other stuff, but just saying that much of it. No, no, it really is.
Chrissy Hoadley
Also she grew up in another country, so, you know, growing up with the same music or shows isn't much of a thing.
Brian Green
That's true. We, and we never. Age gap relationships get interesting. When you start talking about the age gap inside of the relationship, that's when I think it's doomed to fail. Like, I remember dating a girl. You remember her? I remember dating her and she was like, Seven years my junior, seven or eight years my junior. And once she moved in, all of a sudden the age gap started popping up all over the place. Not necessarily with me, but with her. Like, oh, you're just old, you don't understand that. Or it's not your generation or you know, know you don't, you know, I, I want to go out to the club at 3:30 in the morning. You just don't want to go because I just don't want to go because someone's got to keep a roof over the head and I got work at 7 o' clock in the morning. That's just why I don't want to go. Is that okay? I mean, yeah, I'm not at that point.
Chrissy Hoadley
Somebody's calling you old in your relationship.
Brian Green
Yeah, but 50 years. Yeah, that's, I mean this, this guy was born like Vietnam era. Like he's, he's, what is he going to have in common with a 23 year old? Some, something. And maybe. And I, I'm not saying that it can't work because of course we've seen lots of examples where it does work. Anna Nicole smith married that 106 year old dude, remember?
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh yeah.
Brian Green
And he died and she was, he left her everything in the will. Everybody was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys were married for a month and then he died. What was that guy's name? Can't remember. He's like an oil baron or something.
Chrissy Hoadley
Like that in Texas.
Brian Green
But there are certainly age gap relationships that work. I just think when it's that far, like how do you bridge that gap? I mean honestly, how do you bridge that gap? Deductive logic book is only going to get you so it's only 100 pages long, you know, saying once it's done, what do you do? But you know, hey, it's, they were met in 2021, it's 2024.
Chrissy Hoadley
Bikinis go a long way.
Brian Green
Oh yeah, money and bikinis. Yeah, that's true, that's true, That's. Hey, listen, you know, honestly got, I hope everything works out great. I hope everything works out great. But I have a feeling.
Chrissy Hoadley
Best to you, best to you.
Brian Green
But I have a suspicion that nothing's going to work out great. And somebody. And here's why I, here's why this conversation is in more interesting to me today than it would have been a couple of weeks ago because I went down a Reddit rabbit hole about 90 day fiance, rapid.
Chrissy Hoadley
Bring it on back to.
Brian Green
Yeah, bring it on back to Reddit. I went down a rabbit rabbit hole about 90 day fiance where a lot of people started pointing out A lot of people.
Chrissy Hoadley
Thoughtful.
Brian Green
I know things.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, you're.
Brian Green
Well, listen, you do what you know, you know what I'm saying? A lot of people are pointing out that 90 Day Fiance has been a lot of very big age gap related. A lot of guys. Yeah. From America dating teenagers other places. And I have, and I'm now agreeing with some of these Redditors that if I pay attention to some of these storylines, it is the 19 year old from Colombia.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
Brian Green
The 18 year old from, you know, somewhere in Central America, Africa. It's a lot, there's a lot of that going on. The 20 year old from. Yeah. Brazil. Oh yeah. The Brazil is like every season has someone from Brazil and, and a lot of those shows that TLC promotes. It's age gap.
Chrissy Hoadley
MILF Manor.
Brian Green
I. You've crossed the line. Tlc. Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
I mean really, honestly, the latest season doing. I mean the first season was terrible. Now this latest season, dating the dads and the dads and the sons.
Brian Green
Trying to decide which one you're gonna. Or both of them. I don't know. Yeah, I didn't. I won't watch it.
Chrissy Hoadley
I know.
Brian Green
I won't support it. No, I don't. I think it's so, I don't know, scuzzy. It's just like scuzzy. And as much as they try and make it, you know, feel good, interesting, you know, draw, you know.
Chrissy Hoadley
Just trying to find love.
Dez Bishop
I'm just trying to find love. I'm 72 years old. I'm just trying to find love with my neighbor's 17 year old son. What's wrong with that? I done been hit. I done been hitting that rabbit. Watching my 17 year old neighbor mow the grass. I'm in the prime of my life. I'm in the prime. I can't move my lips or my eyes, but I'm in the prime of my life. I went from a double A to a triple E.
Brian Green
Just to impress my 17 year old neighbor.
Chrissy Hoadley
Living your best life.
Brian Green
Oh, I certainly am. Free vodka. A son and a father. It's like my rabbit dream come true. Yeah. They bring in the dads and then the, the dads are now dating the same women as the son.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, I saw some clip where the, the son, they were like, I mean, are you impacted by this? Are you kind of scarred by seeing that? I don't know what he just saw, but the son said yes. Yeah. Yeah, kind of.
Brian Green
I saw the same promo. Yeah. Where the sun was like, he was like crying. He was like, he's like. I don't know, it's just like, it's. It's jarring to see that. It's scarring. Of course it's. It is. You fall in love with a woman, you're in this place for like 20 days, like this beautiful mansion. And they bring a bunch of hot cougars in there. And the cougars are all, you know, juiced up on whatever white claw and you know, plastic. Botox, Botox. And they come in all hot and heavy on you. And then all of a sudden your dad comes a week later and he's yelling at you to clean up your room and hitting it from behind. And you're like, jesus, dad. I mean, first of all, that is a crazy producer I know is getting away with this. It must be a ratings grabber if they have a seasons too.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, yeah.
Brian Green
So all of y' all are fucked up out there. Stop that shit. Turn that shit off. Second of all, then you bring in the dads. What kind of father are you? If you agree to go on this show to date the same women as your son, what kind of dad must you be? A bad dad. That's what I have to say. A bad dad. I only have children under the age of 10 and I already know that's bad dadisms.
Guest/Comedian
You don't do that.
Brian Green
You don't date the same women as your son. No, I don't care how old they are.
Guest/Comedian
That's just bad news.
Brian Green
Bad, bad news. It's like I'm watching another one of these shows on tlc, like Unexpected, which is a show kind of like sixteen and pregnant. And I don't watch it like frequently, but I'll, you know, sometimes it's on and I'll. And I'll catch. Catch it. The two teenagers. The girl is 17. The kid is 15, so 15 and a 17 year old. 15 and an 18 year old. She's pregnant. I was babies having babies. And the dad who has been largely out of this girl's life for her entire life until like a year ago is has the hots for the mom of the son. So the dad is more worried about get hitting up, you know, this dude's mom, mom than he is about the fact that his daughter is a baby having a baby. He's more concerned about how hot the mom is. And it's like, dude, that's bad dadding. This is bad. Daddy. There are so many other girls out there, so many other women out there. You don't need to now make it even. What is this, a Brady Bunch? Yeah. Here's a story about.
Chrissy Hoadley
Speaking of. I just read. I was surprised I didn't know this, but probably because I don't keep up with a ton of Miley Cyrus and what she's doing. I like her, though.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
But you know, her dad just got married and then just got divorced.
Brian Green
Really.
Chrissy Hoadley
To another much younger girl. Anyways, that all happened kind of quick. They were talking about that. But that led to the story to where her mother is married to someone that her sister used to date.
Brian Green
What?
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes. I was like, whoa. And it supposedly caused a rift. Well, yeah.
Brian Green
So strange. You know, I had a friend and. And her dad ended up making a lot of money in the tech industry. He, like, sold one of his companies. He just didn't know what to do with himself. He was like, yeah, way too, you know, live the luscious life. He was a partier. He'd go to the clubs, he'd bring home young women. And he was probably. When I was around, he was probably in his late 40s to late 50s. Like that 10 year kind of time period.
Chrissy Hoadley
The one where you were like, why can't my dad be like that?
Brian Green
Yeah, why can't my dad be like that? Why can't my dad bring home the strippers and the cocaine? But he, he had a smorgasbord of humans to choose from as to who he would date. Right. And I don't think he was really pretty. I don't think he was very discriminatory. If they were willing to party with him and looked halfway decent, in his opinion, they were. They were going to be able to go to the hot tub with him. You know, I mean, it was like one of those kind of. He was just a nice guy, but just way too loosey goosey. And he wasn't a great parent. And because of this, that she ended up. My friend, ended up being the parent of this parent. And it wasn't a good scene. And it was a more terrible scene when he started trying to date her friends because she was in the modeling business. So he started to date her, tried to date her friends, and she put like, she drew a clear line in the sand. You cannot date my father. My father cannot date you. It's just one of those things, like you can't do it. My head is already so up because my dad's bringing home strippers and I got to clean up, you know, empty pates of cocaine in the morning and I'm only, only 22 years old or whatever. It is like, I don't need to be seeing this in the first place. And then on top of that, you're bringing home girls that are basically teenagers, and then now you want to date my friends. It's bad, Daddy. And so this MILF Manor is bad Daddy. This is bad dadding. Here's a story of a horny lady who was fucking both a son and her father. Until one day DLC producers put them on camera. That's the story of MILF Manor.
Chrissy Hoadley
God, it's crazy.
Brian Green
God, I feel like I'm. I shouldn't have sung that song. What am I thinking?
Chrissy Hoadley
Like, AI's gonna pick up on that.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah. Oh, man. All right, well, there you go. Instead of an interesting guest, you got a less interesting, interesting regular episode of the Commercial Bank.
Chrissy Hoadley
Or we review our reviews. Yeah, talk about.
Brian Green
That's right. We did nothing but talk about ourselves every once in a while. You got to get it out. You do.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's like this is our therapy.
Brian Green
It's like going to confession. Yeah, yeah. Say seven Hail Marys and write something nice about us, please. All right, let me remind you again. Again. I'll probably do a lot of reminding in the next couple of months, but October 25th, Chrissy and I will be in Orlando for a show. And then on the 26th, we're going to be in Tampa. I'm going to tell you where, and I'm going to tell you how to get tickets, and we'll tell you what time coming up real soon. In the next couple of weeks, if you're going to be in Orlando or in Tampa and you'd like to see us, let us know. Hit us up. 421-2-4,333. TCB. That's 211-243-3822.
Chrissy Hoadley
Be the first.
Brian Green
Yeah. Be the first. Be the first to buy these against the show when that comes out, and I'll let you know. That'll be soon. We'd love to see you and maybe we'll bring you some swag. Say hello. Sign a book, sign your forehead. Get a tattoo of a dick on your eyebrow like Post Malone just did to Steve O. Did you see that? Post Malone tattooed a jizzing dick on right above Steve. Steve O's eyebrow for his 50th birthday.
Chrissy Hoadley
What a way to celebrate.
Brian Green
Well, first of all, happy birthday, Steve. Oh, congratulations on your new dick. Can't wait to see you again, buddy. At first I was like, no way that can be real. But he's already said absolutely real.
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
And I believe it. It's Steve O. It is.
Chrissy Hoadley
I mean, he was never getting a normal job anyway.
Brian Green
No, he wasn't. So let us know if you're going to be available for those two shows. We'd love to see you. Maybe we'll bring you something down from the Atlanta studios. Also go to the website tcb podcast.com we'd love it if you would go there. Check out all of the audio, all of the video right there from one location. Also all of our guests information is right there where you can buy tickets, how you can see their specials, where you can see their shows. It's all there@tcbpodcast.com get your stickers, hit the contact us button. We'll send you a sticker. All right. At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and YouTube.com the commercial break for all of our guest interviews and selected episodes. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.
Chrissy Hoadley
I think so.
Brian Green
But I'll tell you that I love you.
Chrissy Hoadley
I love you.
Brian Green
I'll say best to you, best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say good.
Chrissy Hoadley
Get there, get there.
Brian Green
I take a dick and keep on licking.
Date: June 25, 2024
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Producer: Christina
Featured (improv/soundbites): Dez Bishop, Guest/Comedian
This episode of The Commercial Break pivots away from their usual Tuesday celebrity “TCB Infomercial” guest format, serving up classic Bryan and Krissy banter with a focus on internet oddities, food conspiracy rumors, the state of capitalism, the chaos of online reviews, and the strange world of age-gap relationships. Dubbed the “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts,” the show leans hard into its self-aware “not for everyone” style—an episode for irreverent listeners who appreciate semi-organized nonsense, rabbit-hole humor, and meta-conversation about making a podcast in 2024.
This episode is a solid snapshot of what “The Commercial Break” offers: an improv-heavy, slightly chaotic dose of pop culture rants, listener engagement, and friendly self-roasting. You’ll find fast-talking riffs on bizarre food news, environmental anxiety, online attention culture, and modern relationship weirdness—each filtered through the show’s signature blend of affection, cynicism, and don’t-take-anything-too-seriously humor.
Best to you, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time!