Merrick Gerrick and His Chromatozoa

Summary

The Commercial Break

Episode: "Merrick Gerrick and His Chromatozoa"

Release Date: October 3, 2025

Hosts: Bryan Green & Tina (filling in for Krissy Hoadley)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break is a hilarious, unfiltered deep-dive into TLC’s “Seeking Sister Wife” — specifically focusing on the infamous Merrifield polyamorous couple (host Bryan repeatedly butchers their name, calling them everything from Marek Gerrick to Merrick Garrick and more). Bryan and guest co-host Tina riff on this poly lifestyle, the bizarre pseudo-science shared on the show about female bonding and sperm “chromatozoa”, and the cringey, jaw-dropping relationship decisions made by the cast. Their razor-sharp comedic banter explores reality TV absurdities, relationship dynamics, religious justifications for polygamy, and the psychological underpinnings of plural marriage — all through the uniquely irreverent TCB lens.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Infamous DNA/Chromatozoa Pseudoscience

[04:49–09:36, 10:20–11:01]

• Bryan and Tina mock Garrick Merrifield’s claim from "Seeking Sister Wife" that if a woman “has been with five men, she loses the ability to bond with another because she’s ‘full up on jizz.’”
• They lampoon pseudo-biological talk that new DNA supposedly stays inside women forever, influencing their ability to create new relationships.

Notable Quote ([05:10]):
Bryan: “He just topped it this last episode by claiming that at five guys, a woman then no longer has the ability to bond with another man. Cause she's all full up on jizz.”

• Tina ridicules the idea of a woman’s body “keeping track” of different men and accepting only a certain amount:
  Tina ([09:00]): “Do you think an alarm goes off? Does your vagina explode? Yeah, it just closes up at five.”

2. The Merrifield Family’s Journey (Names, Backstory, and Plural Marriage)

[11:22–22:30]

• The hosts recap the “Seeking Sister Wife” arc: Garrick and Danielle Merrifield decide, as Christians, that God wants them to live a plural lifestyle — not from a traditional polygamist background.
• Much laughter is elicited by Garrick’s mouth-breathing persona and dubious Biblical interpretations. Bryan repeatedly references their awkward communication and questionable relationship philosophy.
• Danielle’s emotional struggle is highlighted, especially when forced to divorce Garrick so he can legally marry new wife Roberta for immigration reasons.

Notable Quotes:

• Bryan ([12:30]): “Does he not look like he fell off a turnip truck? He looks like his cousin is his cousin and his dad.”
• Tina ([13:39]): “He doesn't close his mouth.”
• Bryan ([18:02]): “This is where this stops for me. If I'm the wife, this is where this stops. You're taking away my security…so you can get your dick wet.”

3. Roberta’s Entry and Family Dynamics

[15:44–22:50]

• Danielle and Garrick court Roberta (a Brazilian woman found on a polygamist dating site). The hosts poke fun at Garrick’s clear preference for Brazilian women, suggesting fetishization.
• The emotional toll on Danielle is palpable; she must witness her husband’s intimacy with Roberta during family “vacations,” often left to sleep alone.
• The absurd logistics and emotional dissonance of “plural living” are picked apart — especially the impact on the couple's children (whose reactions range from confusion to teenage hormonal fascination).

Bryan ([22:05]): “8 nights of vacation and I’m alone. I’ve already agreed to let you have her as an additional wife.”
Tina ([22:26]): “Somebody needs to do a well check on Danielle. The entire Internet who watches the show is trying…”

4. The Visa/Divorce Saga & Emotional Upheaval

[22:51–35:50]

• The hosts dissect how Danielle must divorce Garrick to clear the way for Roberta’s spousal visa — leading to family, financial, and legal instability that baffles Bryan and Tina.
• Extended families are brought into vacation “baby-making” trips, providing even more fodder for bewilderment and mockery.

5. Communication, Linguistic Gaps & Emotional Disconnect

[36:05–41:19]

• Language barriers between Roberta and the Merrifields require frequent translation, further complicating “family unity.”
• Tina and Bryan question the viability of plural marriages with such foundational communication issues.
• Roberta’s “missing in action” status, persistent delays, and eventual ghosting set in, illustrating the unsustainable strain on both relationships and logistics.

6. The Third-Wife Search & Ongoing Dysfunction

[44:59–51:15]

• As Roberta stalls, the Merrifields begin searching for a third wife, turning their personal life into an endless carousel of romantic auditions.
• Tina: “What drives me crazy is that these guys use the Bible as justification. Gross.”
• The co-hosts reflect on how most potential sister-wives sense Danielle’s suffering and back out, causing constant upheaval.

7. Real Talk: Psychological & Emotional Realities of Plural Marriage

[51:28–55:57]

• Bryan and Tina move beyond the lampooning to ask serious questions about human psychology, security, and the real consequences of “God told me to take more wives.”
• Bryan frames emotional security and trust as the true make-or-break factor, not sexual exclusivity per se.
• They call out the hypocrisy of men wanting “open relationships” justified by religion, sidestepping honest exploration or communication.

Bryan ([55:20]): “All they want is to go play, have playtime, send the kids to grandma’s house…I’d rather you be up front about swinging…this is unnecessary.”

8. “God Told Me To…”: Challenging the Religious Defense

[53:05–56:07]

• The hosts skewer the selective use of religion to defend plural marriages, pointing out the elasticity of Biblical interpretation and the lack of a modern rationale for polygamy outside of self-interested sexual motives.

Tina ([53:12]): “You can find an example just about anything in [the Bible].”
Bryan ([54:37]): “Nowhere in 2025 do I think it makes sense for people to take multiple wives.”

9. More Polygamy & Reality TV Oddities

[60:08–62:35]

• Bryan teases even weirder TLC shows, like one featuring married, openly gay Mormon men using mutual support groups to “keep each other on the straight and narrow” without consummating their desires — reflecting on how cultural/religious repression breeds oddball social structures.
• The episode closes with laughter about the pendulum swings of poly, religious, and sexual identities, and a promise for more reality TV recaps in the future.

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• Tina ([09:00]): “Do you think an alarm goes off? Does your vagina explode?”
• Bryan ([12:30]): “Does he not look like he fell off a turnip truck?”
• Bryan ([18:02]): “You’re taking away my security…so you can get your dick wet.”
• Bryan ([22:05]): “8 nights of vacation and I’m alone.”
• Tina ([22:26]): “Somebody needs to do a well check on Danielle.”
• Bryan ([55:20]): “I’d rather you be up front about swinging…this is unnecessary.”

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Content Summary | |-----------|----------------------------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:49 | Chromatozoa Pseudoscience | Discussion of the “full up on jizz” bonding theory | | 10:20 | TLC Clip Replay | “Sperm stays in women for life” TLC audio clip, ridiculed | | 12:00 | Meet the Merrifields | Backstory, names, how the plural marriage setup began | | 15:44 | Roberta's Introduction | Online courtship, arrival, instant chemistry, sexual dynamics | | 18:02 | Divorce for Immigration | Danielle forced to divorce — legal and emotional dismay | | 22:00 | Vacation Dynamics | Danielle alone, Roberta and Garrick together (emotional toll) | | 35:06 | Family & Baby-Making | Family brought on vacation to "make a baby" | | 41:02 | Roberta Delays/Leaves | Visa saga, ghosting unfolds; emotional confusion | | 51:28 | Real Talk on Polygamy | Emotional security, possessiveness, and human psychology | | 53:05 | Religious Justification | Biblical rationale for polygamy debunked, “God told me to” | | 60:08 | Other TLC Oddities | Married gay men’s club, cultural/societal repression |

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Tone & Style Notes

• Chaotic, irreverent, and unscripted — the hosts’ decades-old friendship gives the episode a lively, snarky, but never mean-spirited tone.
• Jokes and genuine empathy for Danielle are interwoven, with moments of honesty about the realities of polyamory.
• Frequent asides and as-it-happens mini-rants on TLC, religious hypocrisy, and relationship dynamics keep the episode offbeat and unpredictable.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is equal parts reality TV roast, relationship commentary, and darkly funny pop-culture podcasting. Whether or not you know the “Seeking Sister Wife” saga, Bryan and Tina break down its most bewildering moments, explaining why the Gratick Merrifields (and similar “plural families”) are both tragically funny and deeply uncomfortable. The episode offers genuine insight into human insecurity, ego, and religious rationalization, with jokes flying fast — making it easy to keep up even if you’re new to the show.

Transcript

[Astrid]

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[Brian Green]

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[Astrid]

Some love somewhere else, and you just crying over a man with his thousands.

[Brian Green]

Of fishes in the pool when you.

[Astrid]

Can find one that would just give.

[Brian Green]

You everything you want to do.

[Astrid]

But he ain't gonna cheat on you.

[Brian Green]

And give you all the things that you want. You just gotta learn how to get some things for yourself. Bye. Well, that's certainly one way to look at it. In our family, we have a saying. If you kissed her, invite her to be your sister. Make lemons out of lemonade, Chastity. Okay, we'll be back with more Cupid's Corner after this commercial. On this episode of the commercial break, at number six, you have the inability to bond with anybody. That's what Merrick said yesterday.

[Tina]

I love the notion that your body could tell the difference between a different penis. Like, oh, oh, yeah, this is.

[Brian Green]

This one's not the same. Well, it can tell because there's new DNA.

[Tina]

Oh, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Getting injected into your chromatozoa, your spermatozoa into your chromatozoa. Yes, Chromotoza. Yeah. You dig? Bones connected to you.

[Tina]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay, so he said some really dumb shit, but he just topped it this last episode by claiming that at five guys, a woman then no longer has the ability to bond with another man. Cause she's all full up on jizz.

[Tina]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

You can't accept anymore. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, friend and the current co host of the commercial break, Tina. Best to you, Tina, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Fear not, Chrissy will be back at some point. She is on a little break to do Mempho as she does every year. So if you listen to the commercial break, you know, this time comes around, we just did not record enough episodes to, to cover that gap. And so we're hoping that she's having a great time at Mempho Star. And I get some Tina time and I do love me some Tina's. So it's been a great deal of fun. Here's to hoping we continue that. You know, we're on a hot streak. Let's keep it going. Mempho Fest.com is where you can buy tickets if you're in the Memphis area this weekend and you want to see Widespread Panic and Tyler Childers and a bunch of other great artists are playing. It's three days of music, food and fun, as they say. Mempho fest.com M E M P H O F us.com Tell Chrissy we said hello. Okay, so over the last couple of days, we've, we've really covered a lot of ground, but one of the things we talked about that I just thought might be interesting to the audience, I think we have done. Chrissy and I did this a number of years ago when Seeking Sister Wives first came out. We reviewed what has got to be the dumbest, dumbest, dumbest human being that's ever walked the face of the earth. Garrick. I think Marek is his last name. I think it's Garrick Marek. I think it is.

[Tina]

That's worse than William Williams.

[Brian Green]

I think it's Garrick Marek. Let me, let me just check this. Oh, that's Rich Eric Mirfield. I'm sorry, It's Garrick Mirfield.

[Tina]

We can call him Garrick.

[Brian Green]

I. I only wish his name was. Oh, his Instagram is private. Fuck that, Garrett. Come on. Anyway, Garrick is one of the couples who has survived the entire six seasons of Seeking Sister Wives. That's a lot of S's because he. They are Constantly on the hunt for a new wife. There is another couple. Well, I wouldn't even say a couple. There's four of them. There's three wives and one man. They seem to be relatively stable, though. They're always looking for a new wife. They've had a couple that have come in and out too. But the three, the four of them. That core seems to stick together, that polycule. I like that they seem to stay together. Everybody else is fresh and new this season, except for Merrick and his wife. The mirror fields again are some of the dumbest motherfuckers on earth. Some of the stuff they've said on this television show is really quite unbelievable that any human being would believe this. But we reviewed yesterday where it comes from. It really comes from a place of not doing any homework, having no.

[Tina]

Anti. Science.

[Brian Green]

Anti Science? That's right. Red Pilling themselves to death and believing that the DNA that comes from spermatozoa inside of a woman's vagina then transmutes into. Into the DNA of the woman. And she carries around that DNA for.

[Tina]

The rest of her life.

[Brian Green]

A new DNA has been born and.

[Tina]

One less relationship or bonding experience that she can now have.

[Brian Green]

Your body clock has a 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

[Tina]

Do you think an alarm goes off?

[Brian Green]

It must. Does your vagina explode? Yeah, it just closes up at five. At number six, you have the inability to bond with anybody. That's what Merrick said yesterday.

[Tina]

I love the notion that your body could tell the difference between a different penis. Like. Oh.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, this is. This one's not the same. Well, it can tell because it's new DNA.

[Tina]

Oh, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Getting injected into your. Why don't I think of that chromatozoa? Your spermatozoa into your chromatozoa. Yes, Promote. Is that. Yeah, you take bones connected to you.

[Tina]

There you go.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay, so he said some really dumb shit, but he just topped it this last episode by claiming that at five guys a woman then. No. No longer has the ability to bond with another man because she's all full up on jizz.

[Tina]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

You can't accept anymore. And if you think I'm joking, I am not. Should I play the clip just in case you didn't hear it? All right, let's please. Okay, we'll play it because it's too dumb not to repeat. Yeah, okay. Listen to him. He's talking about a new girl they've met, a new Brazilian, of course, and how they kind of came together. Oh, sorry. I think I do. I have it on volume. Volume. Wait, why isn't it playing someone? This happens. Someone has my.

[Tina]

The real gods. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Brian's watch. No. What in the good geez. Did. Did TLC already ban it from my phone?

[Astrid]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Probably did. Let's see here. Oh, there it is.

[Danielle]

Serious question.

[Brian Green]

Like you and her.

[Danielle]

Me, her especially, because I knew she had a passing. She had some mentally really bad. I mean, they found that after Monday, usually around five men, that they just can't like bond anymore.

[Brian Green]

Her face has like five different partners.

[Danielle]

The chances of her bonding or even having a lasting relationship drops like crazy amount.

[Brian Green]

Like just percentage wise, it's just the.

[Danielle]

Sperm being inside of her.

[Brian Green]

It's the sperm being inside of her.

[Tina]

Like it just hangs out for life.

[Brian Green]

I kind of want to know, but I don't want to know exactly what that guy's podcast library looks like. He must be listening to some of the craziest of the crazies.

[Tina]

That or like just as search history.

[Brian Green]

His search. Yeah.

[Tina]

Or chat.

[Astrid]

His chat.

[Brian Green]

GPT a reason to get arrested. Yeah. Tina and I were Googling yesterday about Blame it on Rio, and I was thinking to myself, this is a chat history worth arrest.

[Tina]

I mean, yeah, we're going to end.

[Brian Green]

Up Blame it on Rio. How old is Demi Moore? Okay, so here's what I thought we'd do. For those of you that aren't aware of the Garrick Mir fields, which is probably most of you, I. I thought we'd give you a little refresher. Not a refresher, but let's take a listen to their journey kind of on this TLC show, seeking Sister Wise. We're not going to get through all of it. We probably won't even get through most of it. But I just want to give you an idea of who Merrick and his wife.

[Tina]

Garrick.

[Brian Green]

Garrick. I'm sorry, who? Garrick.

[Tina]

Garrick Merrick.

[Brian Green]

Garrick Merrick. Who? Garrick Merrick and his wife are. I can't even remember his wife.

[Tina]

What's her name? Do you know it?

[Brian Green]

I don't.

[Tina]

I can't remember it either.

[Brian Green]

We'll hear it here on the thing. Okay, let's going to queue it up on the old TCB M later here. And here we go. All right.

[Astrid]

Maryfield.

[Brian Green]

The Merefield. Oh, Merrifield. I'm not getting it so wrong today. It's not the Merrifields. It's not the Merryfield. It's not the Merricks.

[Danielle]

I'm Garrick.

[Brian Green]

And I'm Danielle.

[Astrid]

Danielle.

[Danielle]

We're The Mayor Fields. And we've been married about 13 years.

[Astrid]

We started dating when I was 18.

[Brian Green]

Does he not look like he fell off a turnip truck? Yep. He looks like his cousin is his cousin and his dad.

[Astrid]

And we got married when I was 19.

[Danielle]

We're Christians, and we decided two years ago that God wanted us to live a plural lifestyle. Are they good?

[Tina]

No.

[Brian Green]

You decided you wanted. You were sick of having sex with your wife.

[Tina]

God doesn't care.

[Brian Green]

God doesn't give a shit if you have extra wives or not. And I love how he just casually throws in, we're Christians. No, you're not the regular kind of Christians. I believe in Christ the Savior.

[Astrid]

You.

[Brian Green]

You are a different kind of Christian. Tell us what that religion is so we can all understand where you're getting this hokey pokey bullshit from.

[Danielle]

Yeah, we don't come from a polygamous background, but we believe in the Bible and multiple people in their head, multiple wives. And I thought, gee, the people in there are godly people.

[Brian Green]

And I thought, gee, all those dudes, I think that 2000 years ago getting their dick wet all over. And I thought, well, if I can't close my mouth all the way, then I might as well have an extra wife. Such a mouth breather.

[Tina]

He doesn't close his mouth.

[Danielle]

I loved him. So I then realized God wasn't against that. So the way I see it is living a plural lifestyle is a great way to follow Christ and be like him. And we felt that we were called to have multiple wives.

[Brian Green]

Not to my recollection after 14 years of Catholic school, but I wasn't paying that much attention in religion class anyway. But if he did, that dude was riding. Was Jesus riding deep? He had the fit and everything. That dude was walking around barefoot with multiple wives. He didn't even have one wife. Merrick Garrick, mouth breather.

[Danielle]

This way. And after a few months, we finally found the other perfect woman.

[Astrid]

The other pervert.

[Brian Green]

I'm emotionally abused.

[Astrid]

Hi.

[Brian Green]

Hi.

[Astrid]

Oh, my gosh. Hi, sister.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so this is Roberta, their very first quote, unquote sister wife. And they had a lot of problems with her, but they'll get into that. Hi.

[Danielle]

I met Roberta online.

[Astrid]

It was a polygamy dating site.

[Danielle]

I saw her profile picture and I thought she was very beautiful. She had beautiful hair and her skin was olive and she had nice curves. I messaged her, and immediately it was an instant connection. And it felt so right.

[Tina]

Of course, right.

[Brian Green]

Which man doesn't want a beautiful young Brazilian woman? She's gorgeous and no Knock on whatever her name is. The other one. What is her name? We just learned it. The other perfect wife. Danielle. No, knock on Danielle. The perfect wife. Because she's also a beautiful woman.

[Tina]

She's very cute.

[Brian Green]

But what guy doesn't want more of this?

[Tina]

It's the Hawaiian tropics.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Tina]

Running around his house.

[Brian Green]

He's got the Hawaiian Tropic growth. They're always from Brazil. It seems a little weird to me. It seems more like a fetish. What's coming to focus is he has a fetish about Brazilian women.

[Danielle]

We've been courting Roberta for a year and four months.

[Astrid]

Meeting Roberta for the first time was surreal. Like the doubts were washed away. And it was like, she's real.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, she's real.

[Astrid]

She's a real girl.

[Danielle]

I think we even said that.

[Brian Green]

She's a real girl. I can't wait to have sex with her.

[Danielle]

On the second night. I popped a big question.

[Brian Green]

On the second night. He popped the question, will you marry me? And you know why he did that?

[Tina]

Why?

[Brian Green]

Because he wants to have sex with her.

[Tina]

Oh, right.

[Brian Green]

And he can't have sex with her unless they're married or probably at least engaged. Right. That's probably one of the rules that they have about this whole polygamy thing. Probably.

[Danielle]

It was just magical moment.

[Astrid]

And. And that was the first night Eric and her were intimate.

[Danielle]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I marked it in my calendar. That's the first.

[Tina]

She just looks like she's trying so hard.

[Brian Green]

That's the first night my self esteem went in the trash. That's the first night I sobbed.

[Danielle]

Pause.

[Astrid]

It is kind of wild that we found a sister wife that does live halfway around the world. But we definitely wanted to start living together as soon as possible and be united as a family.

[Brian Green]

So.

[Astrid]

So we researched different ways to bring her here and talked to an attorney and realized that the only way to get Roberta here is for Gert to legally marry her.

[Brian Green]

First of all, shoes on the bed. Shoes on the bed. What are you doing?

[Tina]

Animals.

[Brian Green]

Animals. They don't even. They're not even human beings. When you have shoes on the bed, you are not a human being in my mind. That is absolutely disgusting. Don't do that. Second of all, there are children, young children in their family. How must that fuck with their heads when your daddy wants a new mommy? Right?

[Tina]

What's going. What are you. This is what Jesus wants.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Astrid]

Huh?

[Brian Green]

Huh? Not according to the Bible, Dad.

[Tina]

That's not what they told us at Jesus school.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Astrid]

And for her to Be his wife.

[Danielle]

So there's only absolutely one option, and that is for us to get a divorce.

[Tina]

Yeah, absolutely. It's just weird.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is where I.

[Tina]

This isn't the first time.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This is where.

[Tina]

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely not.

[Brian Green]

This is where this stops for me. If I'm the wife, this is where this stops. You're taking away my security. Legal security and a relationship so you can get your dick wet.

[Astrid]

No, the whole divorce thing. Because she'll be his wife, but in.

[Tina]

The legal sense, you won't be.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Well, as far as Derek and Danielle getting a divorce, do have some concerns with legal matters and making sure that Jeremiah and Solomon are taken care of. And Danielle. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you, dad. Jeremiah.

[Tina]

That's her dad. That's her dad.

[Brian Green]

That's her dad.

[Tina]

Okay.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And her mom and her dad needs to be a little bit more vocal. A little more vocal. If I'm her dad, I'm like, you are out of your. I'm sitting this guy down and I'm like, you're out of your mind. I. I didn't have you marry my daughter so you can divorce her to marry someone else and then live in the same house with them. Fuck that. Get your priorities straight and start taking care of the family that you built. Give your head a shake or get a divorce. One of the two does.

[Astrid]

Danielle legally won't be married to him anymore.

[Tina]

You don't have any guarantee that you will have anything.

[Astrid]

What if he just, you know, decides to leave you for Roberta and then you're left alone with nothing? I've reviewed the decree.

[Brian Green]

It's correct.

[Astrid]

I'm signing it now.

[Tina]

That divorce would have alimony, child support, the house. Everything would be coming to me.

[Brian Green]

Every single thing would be in the name of me. If I was the wife in. If I was Danielle in this situation. You're absolutely right. Everything.

[Tina]

If y fifi hightails it, she is high and dry with no legal recourse.

[Brian Green]

I want rights over your dick and I want all of your spermatozoa.

[Tina]

And by the way, I need to say your poa. Because if he gets in a car accident or some junk like that, Roberta is the one that gets to go in the room and make the decisions.

[Brian Green]

Make the decisions. Go grab the bank accounts, all of that.

[Tina]

Absolutely not.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So the dissolution is effective. Did anybody watch this show Post? Like, post and go, hey, they're absolutely committing fraud. Like. Like, Yeah, I don't know. Criminal fraud.

[Tina]

Yeah, because the divorce. Well, at least in the state of Georgia states that you live separate and apart.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. There's a six month cool off period. Yeah.

[Astrid]

Luck to both of you.

[Brian Green]

All right, thank you.

[Astrid]

Going through with the divorce and having all that finalized wasn't easy. And not seeing her for a year, you start to feel like, oh, my gosh, is this real? Is she real? Like, feels nerve wracking a little bit.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Astrid]

Oh, my gosh. Let's just get there. Let's get there.

[Brian Green]

And I will say this like they're now meeting Roberta down in some island somewhere where they can all meet because she can't get into United States. But I will say this about all of the relationships that Danielle has had with all of these Brazilian women. Danielle seems to be really intent on making sure she's very close to these women. Well, right, of course. Yes. She's about to live with them and.

[Tina]

Have them in her house as a divorce.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And share DNA. She's gonna be sharing DNA.

[Tina]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

This poor girl. D y.

[Tina]

We can finally stop shopping for women.

[Astrid]

She's real.

[Brian Green]

The whole thing is just weird. I'm sorry.

[Astrid]

Wow. Love you. So our plan while we're here in Mexico is for Garrick and Roberta to spend all eight nights together. I am sleeping in my own room.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God.

[Tina]

In your own room?

[Brian Green]

How would you handle this?

[Tina]

8 nights of vacation and I'm alone.

[Brian Green]

In your room, and I am your wife, and you are going to the young Brazilian girl's room for eight nights. I've already agreed to let you have her as an additional wife.

[Tina]

No, as the wife.

[Brian Green]

The wife.

[Tina]

Somebody needs to do a well check on Danielle.

[Brian Green]

Well, if everyone is. The entire Internet who watches the show is trying to do a welfare check on Danielle. But she seems to be a willing participant, though she also seems to kind of be stuck with Garrick. I mean, what do you do at the end of the day? I. I guess I. I don't know. I mean, I would take the kids and leave. That's what I says. Choose. She has a T shirt on that says choose me.

[Tina]

Just pick one, please.

[Astrid]

Next to Garrick and Roberta on the other side. I want to be fair to Garrick and Roberta and their time together, because I'm going to have time with them at home, and we are coming into a plural relationship now. But seeing someone kiss your husband, I don't see it every day right now. Like, Garrett texts Roberta, but, you know, I don't see him kissing her and embracing her. So it's hard.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Now this is the next morning. Here we go, oh, she.

[Danielle]

Did she sleep with him like a baby?

[Tina]

No, she just.

[Danielle]

How'd you sleep?

[Tina]

I took him coffee.

[Astrid]

I slept like a big baby. Big baby, big baby. Last night I was in my room and Roberta came to get me because she was worried about me being alone. And we just stayed up talking and hanging out till about 2:00am oh, okay.

[Brian Green]

So Roberta did the right thing. There she went. And she tried to make her feel better.

[Tina]

Like feel better.

[Brian Green]

Feel better. I've already had sex with your husband. You want to come in, smell the stank in the bed?

[Astrid]

You want to come smell our sex, Sleep with us.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Isn't that the worst? When you walk into somebody's room and you're like, fuck, now I smelled your sex and now I can't get it out of my nose.

[Tina]

Yes.

[Danielle]

The plan was for me to have alone time with Roberta. But Roberta felt very sensitive towards Danielle's feelings. And Danielle tried to resist and fight. And it was funny to see them both debate with each other. But they haven't seen each other in a year and they're so close. So we ended up sleeping in the same room together. Me in the middle and the two ladies on each side. After.

[Brian Green]

He could cut wood with those teeth. Are you seeing the size of those teeth?

[Tina]

Why doesn't his. Why don't his lips move?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. That's a real.

[Tina]

He looks like one of the. Like in South Park. Like the Canadian.

[Brian Green]

Me and the girls are hanging out and I decided that it's funny to see them fighting over me.

[Danielle]

Roberta demanded that she.

[Brian Green]

He'd make a great ventriloquist.

[Tina]

Other to him.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I know.

[Astrid]

Anybody.

[Danielle]

The night in the room with us, Danielle had to go back and get her stuff and stuff. So me and Roberto were able to be intimate quickly before Danielle came back. And it was a good laugh because Roberto is laughing. Oh, no, sister be back.

[Tina]

Is he. Is he my chromosome, like abnormality?

[Brian Green]

I don't know, Tina. He's really a weird. He really is. He's weird and he's dumb. And so. You might be right. There might be something going on with him. A little off. Yeah. Like his. His lips don't move. He thought that it's funny that he snuck a quick in before his real wife came back in the door.

[Tina]

He almost couldn't say it. He thought it was so funny.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He didn't know how to handle it. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

[Astrid]

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally, share the shout out. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

[Tina]

Oh, hey, love your shoes.

[Astrid]

If you're hearing this, this is your sign to try those on. Trust us, you can totally pull them off. In fact, try on every shoe here if you want.

[Brian Green]

We won't stop you in our house.

[Tina]

You've got unlimited freedom to play.

[Astrid]

And hey, fall is the perfect season to do wear. Be whatever you want. And with tons of shoes that get.

[Tina]

You at prices that get your budget.

[Brian Green]

We'Ll give you something to brag about.

[Astrid]

So go ahead, try them on.

[Brian Green]

Let us surprise you. What's up, guys?

[Astrid]

It's Candice Dillard Bassett, former real housewife of Potomac.

[Brian Green]

And I'm Michael Arseneault, author of the New York Times bestseller I Can't Date Jesus. And this is Undomesticated, the podcast where we aren't just saying the quiet parts out loud.

[Astrid]

We're putting it all on the kitchen table and inviting you to the function. If you're ready for some bold takes and a little bit of chaos, welcome to Undomesticated. Follow and listen to Undomesticated, available wherever you get your podcasts. Did you know that parents rank teaching financial literacy as the toughest life skill? That's where Greenlight comes in. The debit card and money app made for families. With Greenlight, you can send money quickly, set up chores automate allowance, and track spending with real time notifications. Kids learn how to earn, save, and spend responsibly while parents have peace of mind knowing smart money habits are being built. Try Greenlight Risk free [e-mail] Spotify.

[Brian Green]

All right, we're back watching the Garrick Mareks here and wondering what's wrong with Garrick? Something's wrong with him. He fell off the turnip truck.

[Astrid]

Wow. Just been young.

[Brian Green]

Know that?

[Danielle]

No.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. It's funny that you're having sex with a woman behind your wife's back. You're in an open marriage. Tell her.

[Tina]

Right?

[Brian Green]

Say it. Yeah, tell her.

[Astrid]

Are you going to play on the ceremony? I'm not fully sure. I don't know if we've talked about all the details, but just being the maid of honor and I hope I can. Yeah, we're. We're all in a relationship together. We're a plural family. So we're both his wives.

[Brian Green]

Look at the lady at the. At the event facility is like. Is that legal? No, she's like an event facility coordinator, I think. Okay.

[Astrid]

Congratulations. Congratulations to you.

[Danielle]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

There's so much uncomfortable laughing in this little nervous laughter.

[Astrid]

Good for you guys.

[Danielle]

I think it's time for me to have Roberta all to myself for a special trip tomorrow.

[Brian Green]

Why are you talking to the translator? To speak to your wife. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Tina]

That's a fair question.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Danielle]

Got a little surprise for Roberta.

[Astrid]

Really? What surprise?

[Danielle]

Yeah.

[Astrid]

Okay. I love surprise.

[Brian Green]

Okay. They're at a. They're at a beach. They're having fun. Let me fast forward to this a little bit. I don't care. Let's see how Danielle feels about them being at the beach together, alone.

[Astrid]

Told me that her and Garrick were intimate that first night. And it hurt my feelings because I felt like that she had lied to me in a sense. That she had told me that intimacy wasn't the most important thing and then found out that they had sex.

[Brian Green]

What did you think was going to happen, Danielle? What did you think? What do you think is going to happen when you open your marriage up like this?

[Tina]

You go through the divorce so that he can marry this girl he proposes on night two. There's eight days in Mexico you're not even supposed to be in the room. And you thought they weren't having sex.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You thought that. That because said sex wasn't a priority. Maybe that's true. Maybe sex is not a priority. But when they're alone in a room and they're about to get married, what did you do? Paradise in Paradise. Yeah. By the way, in Cabo San Lucas.

[Astrid]

Right. I do feel lonely today. But at the same time, I feel like I need to start feeling that. To embrace what's going to happen and the reality of Roberta being with us every day.

[Brian Green]

She wants to stand up for himself.

[Tina]

If I want to sleep with both.

[Brian Green]

My wives today, I'm going to sleep with both of my wives. If I want to mutate your DNA, I'm going to do that whenever and wherever I want.

[Tina]

I'll make my deposits as I see Faith.

[Brian Green]

That's right. My spermatozoic is owned by no woman.

[Tina]

She can adopt him if he doesn't.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Danielle]

I knew you had some feelings come at you that maybe that Roberta didn't value you. But, you know, she told me today that she loves you so much that if you weren't happy, that she, you know, would give up even me for you.

[Brian Green]

But are you, Garrick, even taking into account your own responsibility in this whole situation?

[Tina]

Right.

[Brian Green]

You're saying you had some feelings come at you about Roberta? What about the fact that you just divorced your wife for a young, hot Brazilian?

[Tina]

And that's not what she said at all. She did not say she was going to leave him because this one's upset. She said he needs to stand up.

[Brian Green]

He needs to stand up for himself and tell Danielle what's going on or she's going to leave him.

[Astrid]

It's pretty unreal.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something's wrong with the shape of his.

[Tina]

Head, the thickness of it as well.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Astrid]

It's kind of, you know, just like. Just as you. But she loves me. You just take away some of those doubts, you know, that she's, like, conscious about you.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Astrid]

Love you so very much. Me too.

[Brian Green]

So. And in. In other words, everything ends well for them on season number one, but then starts getting real season number two. Now here, let's see here.

[Tina]

Now they're home.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, now they're home. She's not with them yet.

[Danielle]

Able to send hardly any, unfortunately. Once Roberta relocated to her cousin's house to live, her cell service has become terrible. Her cousin has no Internet, and it starts.

[Astrid]

Darn it. It's just I feel super emotional right now about everything.

[Danielle]

Covid has shown us that we definitely have no guarantee of what's going to happen tomorrow. Our plan was always to get married in Mexico after our visa got approved. But with COVID shutdowns, it's still going to take quite a while before, you know, her visa is approved. So me and Roberta decided together that.

[Brian Green]

Covid feels like entire lifetime away. Yes.

[Danielle]

With her being 33 and not getting any younger, we're going to go ahead and plan a trip to Mexico with or without the visa to try to have a baby.

[Tina]

She said.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that face tells it all. That face says it all.

[Astrid]

This time, we're being a little more cautious with COVID and we've kind of splurged and rented a villa for our whole family.

[Tina]

Oh, the kids are coming, too.

[Brian Green]

Oh, let the kids come and watch daddy get his dick wet. Teaching the kids. I love it when you teach the kids.

[Tina]

Indoctrinate them early.

[Brian Green]

A good, valuable lesson about beautiful house in Cabo San Lucas so your side piece can show up. Yeah, yeah.

[Astrid]

Pretty. Look at that.

[Brian Green]

Wow.

[Tina]

It's beautiful.

[Brian Green]

I love it. Really?

[Astrid]

That TLC?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's right. $5,000 an episode goes far. You know, TLC rented this for them? For sure.

[Tina]

For sure.

[Astrid]

Nice. This is a nice room.

[Brian Green]

Oh, wow. That's her parents. Her parents? Yes. And why are they wearing cowboy hats?

[Tina]

They brought her parents.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Tina]

To make a baby with the new wife.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Because that's what you do when one. When one decides to get the side piece pregnant. You bring the whole family. Invite your wife's family. That's what I do. I'd call up Gustavo, and I'd call up the whole family.

[Tina]

Hey, guys. We're guys.

[Brian Green]

You want to watch me transmute my DNA into another woman? She's on number four. So we got one shot of this. Yeah.

[Danielle]

This is nice.

[Astrid]

How romantic. Direct access to the hot tub. Yeah.

[Danielle]

This will be me and Bert's room, huh? Yeah.

[Tina]

Is she, like, digging?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. How bitter. Yeah. How bittersweet this must be for her. Everywhere she looks, it's just a sign. You're going to get. Yeah, you're going to get fucked in that one, and she's going to get fucked in that one.

[Tina]

And are you going to come see me in my room?

[Brian Green]

Is. Do I even exist?

[Tina]

Do I get to go to the hot tub?

[Brian Green]

I guess. I'm babysitting the kids. Unbelievable.

[Astrid]

Yeah. Husband, Sister. I'm here.

[Brian Green]

Oh, my God. Oh.

[Astrid]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Green]

Oh. Oh. Look how she's. She's assuring the kids everything's okay.

[Tina]

She's hugging.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Look at that kid. He's like, me a daddy side.

[Tina]

She come with those titties.

[Brian Green]

Mommy Too is awesome. Mommy Too's got great ass.

[Tina]

Mommy two saw his braces.

[Brian Green]

Look at those two kids. They're. By the way, these two kids are probably, like, 13 and 14 years old. They're like teenagers. And the way that they're looking at this new wife is like Mamma Mia.

[Astrid]

My heart.

[Danielle]

Yeah, me too. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

After a long time without seeing Garrett, what impresses me the most? Not our love. Our love has not changed or diminish in one bit. It seems like this is a dream. I can't believe. Believe.

[Danielle]

Is so very nice to finally have you here. And our family is getting united. I really hope we have luck. And the baby also.

[Brian Green]

How weird.

[Tina]

I would not want my husband saying that in front of my parents.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Just to set the scene, they're all out by the pool. Her mom and dad, Danielle's mom and dad are with them, and Garrick is talking about making A baby there while.

[Tina]

They'Re there to talk to, text, to translate, to talk to Roberta.

[Brian Green]

That's the first. If Astrid had not known English or I had not known enough Spanish, if we had had a total language barrier, like, if we had to use the Translate app every time, I don't think it would have worked out. I think it just would have been too frustrating on both of our behaviors.

[Tina]

Yes. Because you can't communicate freely and honestly when you have to stop.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And things get lost in translation.

[Tina]

100% they do.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Astrid]

Oh, Bab. Are you sure that you're ready for a commitment? You haven't really known Roberta that long.

[Tina]

He can't even respond.

[Brian Green]

Are you sure? You are in headlights. I know. He's like.

[Tina]

Like you never even thought of that.

[Brian Green]

I hear his head right now. 5:30. Chicken pork, punk. Don't answer. Don't answer.

[Astrid]

Oh, I'm bored with it.

[Danielle]

Oh, yeah.

[Tina]

Sounded so confident.

[Astrid]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

I thought it all through. Danielle's like. Danielle's like, why can't I have another baby? Yeah.

[Danielle]

100%.

[Astrid]

It would be hard to have a baby. Her being so far away and you not being able to see him.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's true.

[Danielle]

That's true. But, you know, God will work through anything.

[Brian Green]

But once you get back to Colorado, I mean, how will that be? I mean, you think that'll work out.

[Danielle]

Well, or, you know, I do. Like any troubles or anything, you know, it'll be different. But I know she loves Danielle so much, and even if it isn't easy, you know, you love each other and you stick together as a family.

[Astrid]

Now that I'm.

[Brian Green]

She loves Danielle so much. Has nothing to do with whether or not you guys should have a baby. The parents are bringing up really prescient.

[Tina]

Points, and the daughter, Danielle, looks like she wants to say something, but she won't. She just keeps literally biting her mouth.

[Brian Green]

Well, I think her parents are speaking for her. Right? And he's either speaking for her. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tina]

Or they are.

[Brian Green]

That's right. She doesn't. She'll never speak up for herself. She needs to Roberta and talk to.

[Astrid]

Her and see how happy you all are as a family and with the boys. I'm really happy about it. I think it's gonna work out very well for you.

[Brian Green]

Okay, no more drinks for you. Mom, you totally lost the plot here. You're in a beautiful look. You've got that vacation glow, and you're not thinking correct.

[Tina]

Yeah, because the sun's gotten to your head, lady.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there's nothing good about It. Nothing.

[Astrid]

Oh, Mom, I love you. She's nice. How do you feel, dad?

[Tina]

Why didn't I think of that?

[Brian Green]

Heavy memory. He's like, well, I've been talking to your mom and we've decided I need a 30 year old Brazilian side piece. So. Your mom. Yeah. Getting a Mexican divorce so that I can get a Brazilian wife pregnant and then not see the child. Thanks, Garrick. You've made life easier for all of us. I'm happy.

[Danielle]

This morning the lawyer called and left me a voicemail. And Roberta's first part of her K1 has just gotten approved.

[Brian Green]

Wow, that's fantastic.

[Danielle]

America first part.

[Astrid]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danielle]

Approve.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. America first part. It doesn't even mean anything. What does that mean? The first part of the K1 visa got approved. Probably means that the paperwork was accepted. The valid paperwork. I've been through this process, a similar process. The paperwork was accepted. It doesn't mean she's coming to America. He's saying this to make everybody feel more comfortable about him exchanging spermatozoa with yet another lady.

[Tina]

Wrecking another lady's DNA.

[Brian Green]

That's right. He is such a shithead. Well, congratulations. Yeah, Great. Yeah.

[Danielle]

One more step. She has an interview in Rio at the embassy there.

[Astrid]

It has been over a year now since we've seen Roberta in person.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay, so we're. This, by the way, this is like a little synopsis video. So they're cutting quickly between the timelines now. They had the whole weekend with a week with her in Mexico and now she went back to Brazil. And uh, oh.

[Astrid]

Roberta had her visa approved not too long ago, but she hasn't come to the US yet because her mom's health is not good.

[Danielle]

Things are definitely back to the waiting game, not knowing when she'll be here, but we're definitely planning as soon as she gets here to definitely start the baby making process again.

[Brian Green]

I'm ready to fuck and fuck and fuck.

[Tina]

Every time he says that, she makes that same freaking face.

[Brian Green]

I know. Because she knows what it means. It doesn't mean anything except he wants to have lots of sex.

[Tina]

Still on the pill?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Roberta is the smartest one of them all. Because you better believe Roberta's taking precaution. Yeah, you can see it as now that it's played out over a couple of seasons. But Roberta wasn't dumb in the first place. She wasn't going to have a baby with this guy unless she was in the house and married to him.

[Astrid]

Think about more siblings, I guess. A boy.

[Danielle]

I think it'd be good for you guys to have a sister.

[Astrid]

You better get on those baby making then, huh?

[Danielle]

Well, once Bert gets here talking about.

[Tina]

Baby making in front of the children, is that normal over morning coffee?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. This whole family and they're living in an rv. Look at that. They're living in a trailer because they were building a house.

[Astrid]

Okay.

[Tina]

I'm like, they had a house.

[Danielle]

Roberta definitely wants to have children. We did try it in Cabo when we went down last November.

[Astrid]

Garrick failed on getting her pregnant.

[Tina]

She been dying to say that she.

[Brian Green]

Can'T wait to cut him down. Garrick's limp dick didn't work with me and it doesn't work work with her. Even a new hot Brazilian wife couldn't fix his boner problems is half hard.

[Danielle]

Thanks for doing the dishes, buddies.

[Astrid]

In preparation for Roberta coming to the US and hopefully Burton Garrick having more babies, we started building a bigger home from scratch.

[Danielle]

Bezos, pmr, Daville. I have a custom home building company, so it's a lot easier for us as a family to design.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's convenient.

[Danielle]

That fits our plural lifestyle.

[Astrid]

My parents.

[Brian Green]

And with that custom home building business, I've decided to build a rectangle house. Yes, he built a rectangle house. So beautiful. Garrick.

[Astrid]

Of basically their own little apartment, I would call it. We want to be close to them as they age and be able to help them. They've been really kind and supportive about us living a plural lifestyle temporarily.

[Danielle]

We're living in a fifth wheel trailer till we can get moved into our new house.

[Astrid]

We've been living in the trailer for almost five months.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And if any of those pictures of that house were any indication, they spent another 10 months in that trailer because they were nowhere close. Okay, let's. Let's move forward here a little bit in the storyline. I just feel like we need to. Oh, wait, maybe he talks about the sperm here.

[Astrid]

Yeah, that will be a change. I am not expecting that jealousy will come back for me. I think there will definitely be an adjustment with a third coming in and I think it'll be maybe a little more challenging for Roberta being on the opposite end of that.

[Danielle]

You know, I did think it would help Bert though too, because. What about the night she's not with me?

[Astrid]

I told her that too when we.

[Danielle]

Were discussing then she could be building a friendship and sisterhood. It's hard on Roberta with us looking for a third, but at the same.

[Brian Green]

Time, yeah, they go looking for a third. Here's the surprise, surprise. Garrick. There. There is no end to Garrick's temptation. He keeps on wanting more and more. That one's too far away. I need to go to Rio and get my best friend's daughter. That's what I need. Well, that's what he's doing. All right, we'll take a break. We'll be back.

[Astrid]

Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us, and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker. And we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid. When did making plans get this complicated?

[Brian Green]

It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together.

[Astrid]

Use polls to settle dinner plans, send.

[Brian Green]

Event invites and pin messages so no one forgets.

[Astrid]

Mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone.

[Brian Green]

All protected with end to end encryption.

[Astrid]

It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone.

[Brian Green]

Learn [e-mail] this podcast is supported by FX's English teacher. Last year's critically acclaimed series returns to follow Evan, Gwen and Markie as they vie for their students divided attention. See why Cosmopolitan called its premiere season a masterclass of comedy while glamour raved. It's the year's funniest and most heartwarming new comedy series, FX's English Teacher. All new Thursdays on FX. All episodes now streaming on Hulu, Limu, Emu and Doug. Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual.

[Astrid]

But now we want you to feel it.

[Brian Green]

Cue the emu music. Limu.

[Astrid]

Save yourself money today. Increase your wealth. Customize and save. We save.

[Brian Green]

That may have been too much feeling. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. Liberty Savings vary underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. All right, we're back with Garak. We're running through the Garak and Danielle story. We're still in season number two. He was with Roberta. You heard all of it. And then they brought in a third person to try and a third sister. Third sister wife is what they were trying to do.

[Tina]

He's having a Morsum.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Foursome. Morsum. I want to fast forward just a little bit here. He's getting an update from Roberta on what's going on with the K1 visa and why she's not coming.

[Danielle]

Oh, baby, miss you good.

[Astrid]

Mitchell.

[Danielle]

You so special.

[Astrid]

You're very special for me.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you're so special. No, you're so special. No, you're the first one I've cheated on my wife with. You're so special.

[Danielle]

Mia.

[Brian Green]

Hey, dude, Garrick, I got an idea. Why don't you turn on TLC on any given Sunday night and watch another show about sister wives called sister wives. Yeah. And see how that all worked out for them. Those people are now all divorced. That's right. Okay, so they're dating this other girl. It doesn't really go all that well. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, yada. I'm just gonna fast forward to this just a little bit. It because.

[Tina]

So Roberta's just not coming.

[Brian Green]

Roberta never shows back up. She never shows back up. And here maybe we can hear some about it. Hold on. I want to get to. Okay, here. All right.

[Astrid]

So the whole sharing a room thing is actually kind of exciting to me. Yeah. Right now it's not a big deal because, like, there's just two of us. So, yeah, most of the time, we'll have our own room. One thing that we knew, building the house, that we wanted Garrick to have his own room as the head of our house and king of the family.

[Danielle]

But we don't know what the third will like. If she would like to have her.

[Astrid]

Own room, maybe we'll have her other house by then. That's true.

[Brian Green]

Wow. These guys are making all kinds of plans and intentions.

[Tina]

No humans to fill the space.

[Brian Green]

No humans to fill the space. Because everyone sees this dipshit for really who he is, including Roberta, who never shows back up up in their lives, by the way. She just never shows up. And they had another sister wife they were recording. That lady decided that she didn't like the situation. Yeah, I'm out of here. Because at the end of the day, I think most of the women who interact with Garrick feel Danielle's pain.

[Tina]

I agree. Women are going to be in tune to that. And if I'm walking into that situation. If I'm Roberta and it doesn't seem even footed, I'm out.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I think the most difficult thing to find. I watch all these seeking sister wives. Sister wives. You know, my sister sister wife, my brother wife. Whatever it is.

[Tina]

I know people who do it. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I know people who have been in plural relationships before. And it appears to me that the most difficult thing to do is strike balance is that everyone feels emotionally secure about their place at any given time. Right. It is in our nature. You know, some people will argue it's not in our nature to be monogamous with one person for the rest of your life. Okay. I can, I can see how that argument could be made. I'm not dumb. I understand that scientifically. And you know, there might be some.

[Tina]

We're not monogamous by nature.

[Brian Green]

We're not monogamous by nature. But what we are by nature is needy in emotional security and stability. And we're also possessive of our emotional stability and security. So if someone comes into the situation and threatens that it feels I. I get fight or flight.

[Tina]

Especially a mother of two.

[Brian Green]

Yes. And there were no kids.

[Tina]

It might be a little different. The dynamic would be a little different. But that. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

What drives me crazy about all of these shows about anybody who, who about most of these shows there now there are some guys who just say I just want another wife. Wife.

[Tina]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I just want, I want to have more fun like the other couples in this situation to have a wife. You can just have side pieces.

[Tina]

Pick a curl up when you go out together.

[Brian Green]

That's right.

[Tina]

It just happens.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Or it's over in a couple weeks or a couple months or whatever.

[Tina]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's not that serious. What drives me a little crazy about most of these guys is that they use the Bible as the backbone or the justification. Gross. And it's disgusting.

[Tina]

The bastardizing of the religion.

[Brian Green]

Yes. Because sure. You can find examples of plural marriages in the Bible.

[Tina]

You can find an example just about anything in that book.

[Brian Green]

That's right. It's a very lengthy book. It's one of the most lengthy books. Have you ever tried to read it? It's lengthy. It's got a lot of words. No one understands it. That's why there's a million different interpretations of it. Of course there's. You can find justification for anything in the Bible. Anything. And this has been proven time and time. We ask Chat GPT anything can you prove?

[Tina]

Use the Bible to prove.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Hold on one second.

[Tina]

What are you going to ask?

[Brian Green]

Does. Does the Bible condone washing your penis on the Sabbath.

[Tina]

Did Chat tell you to stop?

[Brian Green]

It says no. It does. However, it does not directly say, thou shalt not wash the penis on the Sabbath. What it does say is focus on resting. So it says, rest, pray. And I can find justification as to why one would think that, because even ChatGPT knows that you can twist those words into any. There's lots of people throughout history who've had plural marriages, but there's Nowhere, nowhere in 2025 do I think it makes sense for people to take multiple wives.

[Tina]

Right.

[Brian Green]

I just don't. No, I just don't. And using God as a reason, it just. What is the defense for that? For your wife? What is. No, we're living a godly life. God came to me and said this. If you believe in God and Jesus as much as I do, then what's the defense? How are you defending that?

[Tina]

How am I defending or how are you.

[Brian Green]

How are you combating that? If I say Jesus told me to do it.

[Tina]

Jesus also said to remain faithful. I mean, Jesus, I don't think said any of those things.

[Brian Green]

God came to me. He said, in order for our family to be prosperous, we have to have more wives.

[Tina]

I think you're gonna have to move out.

[Brian Green]

That's what you would say.

[Tina]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Because you don't, you know, fire and brimstone.

[Tina]

An open relationship without wifing someone.

[Brian Green]

I totally agree with you. This is the silly thing.

[Tina]

All they want is to go play, have playtime, send the kids to grandma's house, go have playtime.

[Brian Green]

Totally.

[Tina]

And leave the playthings at the play center.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Tina]

And then come back home and be.

[Brian Green]

A. I am not. I'm not opposed to sexual exploration. I mean, not for my marriage. Please, Astrid, don't misunderstand me. Astrid, don't misunderstand me. I'm not. I'm not opposed to that. I think that that is something that a lot of couples do have done. Will do. I'd rather. I'd rather you be up front about swinging is a thing. Yeah.

[Tina]

Have at it.

[Brian Green]

Go down to the villages.

[Tina]

Yeah, yeah, do it. This is unnecessary.

[Brian Green]

This is unnecessary.

[Tina]

This is out of this, out of bounds. Because you can tell he really just wants to sleep with the girl.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Tina]

Back to the baby making. She was like, no, no.

[Brian Green]

This is emotional abuse as far as I'm concerned for Danielle. And I really do wish someone would check on them. I really do. Okay, so here we go. I think Roberta is just dropping the hint right here.

[Danielle]

Let's pray.

[Astrid]

Let's Pray.

[Brian Green]

Let's pray.

[Astrid]

Consolate.

[Tina]

She's not even answering.

[Brian Green]

No, she stopped communicating with them. Yeah.

[Astrid]

Sometimes that gets hard, the inability to communicate, you know, and, like, especially special moments like this. It's true.

[Danielle]

I definitely think I'm a priority to Roberta and my family. I know she loves us dearly.

[Brian Green]

Oh, by the way, Danielle got pregnant. That's what happened. Danielle ended up getting pregnant.

[Danielle]

I know. She's always trying to help everybody in the family, and sometimes I think that can cause her to, you know, get pulled in a lot of directions.

[Astrid]

I know it's out of her control.

[Danielle]

Yeah, it's definitely.

[Tina]

She doesn't live there.

[Brian Green]

She doesn't live there.

[Tina]

She doesn't do anything. She's not even, like, down the road.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Tina]

She's in a whole nother country.

[Brian Green]

She is in Brazil. And she's not answering your phone calls. Take the hint.

[Astrid]

Has been really.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, yeah. It's. It clearly that Roberto wants to have nothing to do with it.

[Astrid]

As much as, like, there's so, so much change going on, and her visa has been approved. It's like, is it really going to happen?

[Brian Green]

Say no. No, this is. God, no.

[Astrid]

No. It's just. It gets a little tiresome sometimes, not knowing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Tina]

What if she suggests another husband? Like, hey, you go find your extra wives.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tina]

I'm going to go find some extra husbands. I'm going to have to divorce you, though.

[Brian Green]

Now you're just being silly, Tina. You're just being silly. That's crazy business. We're not going to be doing that. That. Oh, here's the brother and sister. Garrick's brother. Oh, Garrick's best friend, I think, actually, sa.

[Astrid]

That's the one Bert and I made together.

[Danielle]

It was pretty. It is pretty. Have you talked to Bert recently, or.

[Astrid]

No, we just talked to her today, actually.

[Brian Green]

Oh, okay.

[Astrid]

How's she doing? We did a video call.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Danielle]

But she cried.

[Astrid]

We all cried a lot.

[Danielle]

We all cry.

[Astrid]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You guys cry a lot.

[Astrid]

Sam and Samantha are very close to us. They're a very important part of our life.

[Brian Green]

Sam and Sam.

[Astrid]

We definitely. Sam and Sam.

[Brian Green]

Who's naming these families?

[Tina]

Yeah, I love it.

[Astrid]

These families value their opinion. Their opinion comes from a place of love and care. So you're going to have babies and then a wedding? Yeah, that's the plan. It's going to be hard. I don't know. The Danielle. I feel like it's a little too fast. I have to wonder if he's doing this at a loss sometimes. I Wonder if she's truly happy that she's just doing this because she wants to make her husband happy. Because I've never met her. Sometimes I have doubts. It's your guys life, you know, I just don't want you guys to get hurt.

[Tina]

At least you're already divorced.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, seriously. At least you're one step ahead. You got the divorce part out of the way. Danielle, we all have, like, our different.

[Astrid]

Personalities, and I think that's how it will be when Roberta's here too. Give and take. Like, even when her and I were talking about the sister wife thing, like adding a third and why I wanted it and why she didn't want it and, like, she wants it now.

[Tina]

None of us really speak her language.

[Astrid]

So she sees she understands my point of view better. Like, she's okay if God wants it now. She's like, open to it. I think more so because she realizes why I wanted it. Like, you know, when I'm with Garrick and it's not her turn, you know, then she's not alone. And so we always have somebody there to support us.

[Brian Green]

She's like, wow, her sister. Yeah, listen, it gets more bonkers. You know what I'll do? Maybe for the next episode, I'll pull some clips from this season. We can catch up on up with them. Also, there's another couple that's highly interesting to me in this particular six season that you'll. That you'll watch. Maybe I'll pull some clips from the first episode because one of the couples that is seeking a sister wife, it is clear to me, and they even say it, that everybody thinks the husband is gay. And he is extraordinarily flamboyant for a straight man. He's extraordinarily flamboyant. He even says a lot of people think I'm gay, you know, because I talk with my hands and I like good clothing and I love, you know, know, I'd love to go see a good Broadway play. And. And he's out there trying to find another wife. Another wife. And the women he's approaching are laughing at him because they don't take him serious. They don't think he's straight. So it is very. That's very interesting. All right, well, listen, we'll get. I'll, I'll. I'll take this into another episode next week. Thank you very much for being here. Of course. I certainly appreciate it.

[Tina]

Thank you for having me.

[Brian Green]

Maybe you'll join us next week, Maybe. Okay. I'd like that. Please do. Maybe you'll join us. That's right. And I. I'm not flamboyant. I'm not gay. I just like men. Lose it. I'm not gay. I just love a good.

[Tina]

This is sort of like not inhaling.

[Brian Green]

I love a good D and I love a good A. And I love a good D and a good A. You know what I'm saying? What's wrong with that? It's not gay. No, it's not gay. I didn't inhale. There was a show on TLC for a while. It no longer is available anywhere. I tried to pull clips. There's only short clips of it. And it's about the club of men in Utah who are gay. They're homosexual, but they are married. Married. And they have a club. The men get together.

[Tina]

I've heard about.

[Brian Green]

To help each other with the homosexual.

[Tina]

I mean, I'm all for it. At least they got a safe place to go.

[Brian Green]

No, no, no. They're not fucking.

[Tina]

Oh.

[Brian Green]

They're trying to keep each other on the straight and era. They're openly gay, but they're married and they're openly gay in the church and they.

[Tina]

Okay, well.

[Brian Green]

Well, it's called like secretly gay or something like that. Right? Open or. No. Openly secretly gay or it's some show. I heard about it a couple months ago. I found clips online. I read about it. It sounds infinitely entertaining.

[Tina]

I'm gonna have to see if I can go prime it.

[Brian Green]

Let me easy.

[Tina]

Like I did Rio.

[Brian Green]

It got so much flack from the church and from other people that TLC took it down and they wiped it from the Internet. So there are people who have. Have parts of it out there, but you can't find much of it. And it's these like five or six men and they are openly gay and openly gay in the church and they have wives, but they will. They will not go there. They just don't go there. They just don't have sex with men. Okay, that sounds incredibly unhealthy to me, but okay.

[Tina]

Yes, that.

[Brian Green]

Okay, whatever.

[Tina]

There's blowback. There's always a blowback.

[Brian Green]

First of all, yeah, the pendulum does swing one way or the other, right? All right, TCV politics podcast.com you can go get your free sticker. Watch all the audio, watch all the video. 212-4333 TCB Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on audio. Okay, Tina. I guess that's all I can do for today. So I'll tell you that I love.

[Tina]

You and I love you.

[Brian Green]

Best to you, best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Tina. I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

[Astrid]

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[Brian Green]

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