Chrissy (2:39)

No.

Brian Green (2:39)

They did Philadelphia on Monday, a week before the super bowl even happened.

Chrissy (2:44)

Oh, wow. They're preparing.

Brian Green (2:46)

They were preparing because they knew that no parent would be in a condition to drive their child to school the very next day. They were getting the DUIs off the street because everyone was going to celebrate well into the night, regardless of whether or not they won or they lost. And, man, did they. I was just reading all about the shenanigans going on in Philadelphia last night and probably well into the morning as the Philadelphia Eagles won over the Kansas City chefs and the. Excuse me, the Taylor Swift chefs. The Taylor Swift chefs lost to the Eagles in a romp. Chrissy.

Chrissy (3:20)

That really was a romp. God. Chiefs had zero going into halftime.

Brian Green (3:25)

They had no fight in them. They had no answer for what the Eagles were throwing at them. The Eagles defense, it looked like they were playing against children. It really did. They sacked Mahomes. 6, 7, 8. I stopped counting after a while. 6, 7, 8 times.

Chrissy (3:41)

Interceptions, all kinds of stuff.

Brian Green (3:43)

This is coming from a guy who does not know the first thing about sports. And I'm telling you what, even I could tell that the Eagles were just superior to the Chiefs. It was embarrassing. I think I even texted that to you at one point.

Chrissy (3:54)

Yeah, it was embarrassing. Shocking. I think anybody expected it to go like that.

Brian Green (3:59)

No, I don't think anyone expected it to go like that. It was clearly. I think the Chiefs were favored going into the. Into the game.

Chrissy (4:08)

Barely. Just a little bit.

Brian Green (4:09)

Oh, they're just a little bit. Okay. So, Chrissy, keeping an eye on the MGM bets there. Favor. Just a little bit going into it. They have the experience. They've won two in a row. They beat the Eagles in a Super bowl two years ago. And so you just kind of think, well, they have the upper hand. And they've got Patrick Mahomes, who, whether or not you like the guy, he's really good at football. He is really good at football. He creates plays out of thin air. He can run the ball, he can pass the ball, he can twirl around. I mean, in the last quarter, there was a few flashes of brilliance from Patrick Mahomes, but that was it. I think they held him to, like, less than 200 yards of off. He just insane. The numbers were insane. Yeah. And. And as I mentioned yesterday on the show, I don't even know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. It just doesn't sound good. No, but it was it. So while the game may have been less than entertaining after the second quarter, everything around the game was to be watched because that's what the super bowl is. It is a ridiculous television program to entertain 100 million people with lots of commercials, dancing and other shenanigans and dramatics. Am I right or am I wrong?

Chrissy (5:14)

That's right.

Brian Green (5:15)

Okay.

Chrissy (5:15)

I was excited about the commercials and eh. I don't know that.

Brian Green (5:19)

You know, I think the early 2000s were really like the heyday. We were on the precipice of advertising greatness, and it has all fallen off a cliff since then because I didn't see one commercial, except for the breast cancer commercial that I thought like, yeah, did the job of making my eyes open a little bit wider. Like, wow, that was a really good commercial.

Chrissy (5:41)

Right. It was interesting too. The. The clients that were in the ads, I didn't expect a lot of those. I was like, they have that much money to advertise in that.

Brian Green (5:51)

Well, you're really shooting your shot. I guess if you're paying $8 million for 60 seconds, you are shooting your shot. Unless you're one of these. Like, we'll go through some of the commercials in the next segment. But I, you know, one of the things that I thought was strange is they told us there was going to be a lot of AI focused commercials, and while there were AI focused commercials, I didn't think they were all that brilliantly done. Like, Chat GPT had a commercial where there's just a bunch of dots made a bunch of pic. It was like the. It was so stupid and uninteresting that I don't know what the point was. Why did we do that? Chat GPT, I thought a lot of.

Chrissy (6:24)

Them were like that, where I was like, what? What did that mean?

Brian Green (6:27)

Well, yeah, Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey are in, you know, 12 of the.

Chrissy (6:30)

64 commercials a lot.

Brian Green (6:33)

Yeah, okay, we get it. They're buddies. What does it have to do with AI? I'm not really sure. I mean, I think there was some narrative going on there, but I really didn't get it. And then Matthew McConaughey is in every single commercial that they have.

Chrissy (6:43)

Like, well, he. Jeep was like a main sponsor of the show.

Brian Green (6:48)

Oh, was.

Chrissy (6:49)

Yeah, they had a big commercial for Jeep where the commentators were.

Brian Green (6:53)

Oh, they did.

Chrissy (6:53)

Before the game.

Brian Green (6:54)

Oh, okay. Yeah, Jeep. All right. Good for you. Jeep.

Chrissy (6:56)

So he's the Jeep guy.

Brian Green (6:59)

Oh, Matthew McConaughey is a Jeep guy. Oh, I thought he was a Buick, dude. I thought he was a Lincoln Continental, dude.

Chrissy (7:04)

He was a Lincoln. You're right.

Brian Green (7:06)

Yeah. Wasn't he.

Chrissy (7:07)

Yeah.

Brian Green (7:07)

Wasn't he driving around that Lincoln saying things like, I keep getting older and they say the same age.

Chrissy (7:17)

Well, that's an American Graffiti.

Brian Green (7:19)

But that's in. That's not American Graffiti. No, American graffiti. That's from 1964.

Chrissy (7:28)

No, no, no, Wait. What is it? It's the. I loved that movie, too.

Brian Green (7:34)

I'm gonna let you think about it. I'm gonna let you stir here for a second. It's not Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Do you know it? Dazed and Confused. That's right. Dazed and Confused. One of the great movies of the. Of the 90s, for sure.

Chrissy (7:48)

Which has an American Graffiti feel.

Brian Green (7:50)

It does. Only American Graffiti was set in the 50s and this was set in the 70s. But I get what you're saying. I understand. It's like kind of a one night out type of.

Chrissy (8:00)

Yeah.

Brian Green (8:00)

You know, riding around in cars, chasing girls and all that other stuff. Okay, I get it. Anyway, I thought that the super bowl was over dramatic and overproduced on behalf of Fox, but that's what Fox does. That's what Fox has been doing since Fox came on air. They just have a certain flair for the dramatic. They do things different than the other networks do. Not good or bad or indifferent. It just is what it is. They had the whole opening with Lady Gaga, which.

Chrissy (8:26)

I like that.

Brian Green (8:27)

I thought it was touching. I didn't know why we had to have all of the football commentators surround her. Like, you know, I think it would have been more prescient if that would have been police officers or firefighters or people in the military. People that are real heroes. Because the song is about, you know, something. The song was about something. Something sad.

Chrissy (8:49)

It was touching. Well, I think it's from where the. The. The, you know, the truck plowed into.

Brian Green (8:54)

Yeah, it was right on Bourbon Street. Yeah, they were doing it right on Bourbon Street. How they got Bourbon street closed like that, I don't know. So Astrid said, you know. Oh, that was, you know. Do you think they did that live? And I'm like, fuck, no, they didn't do that live. They probably did that at three in the morning when they could close down Bourbon Street. Because I would bet you dollars to donuts that none of those bars would agree to close days or the day of the Super Bowl. No way. When the Super Bowl's in New Orleans, those people are making handover fist cash on liquor. Unless Fox just paid him a dick load of money. But my interpretation would have been that they probably did that really early in the morning or really late at night and had a crowd show up to do that. It thought it was a little weirdly positioned with all the football Commentators. But the song was beautiful and the point was taken, and I understood, so I thought, oh, okay. All right. A little shout out. Then they did a God bless America.

Chrissy (9:42)

Yeah.

Brian Green (9:43)

Who was that little shorty?

Chrissy (9:45)

Oh, no, Trombone Shorty.

Brian Green (9:47)

Trombone shorty.

Chrissy (9:48)

And then John Batiste.

Brian Green (9:49)

And then John Batiste did this great. I love that. Incredible musician. He is an incredible musician. And then they had Harry Connick Jr come out, and he did a little, you know, let's get this party started kind of thing. And I thought all of that was very New Orleans.

Chrissy (10:03)

It was.

Brian Green (10:03)

I think they did a good job of adding the flavor of New Orleans into the actual production. They then had some very famous college marching bands that came out and did their.

Chrissy (10:17)

That.

Brian Green (10:17)

Yep. That was a very New Orleans thing to do, too. So I think they did a good job of representing New Orleans. I will say that. Yeah. But just, you know, a touch of the dramatic. Like a touch of the dramatic for Fox, but I get it. That's what Fox does, and that's what Fox needs to do. And let's. Let us not forget the game is secondary to the entertainment value that it's providing. The point is to keep you hanging around during the commercials. And they have done a good job. The super bowl, collectively in the NFL and in general, has done a good job of making this a spectacle you much must watch, regardless of who's playing and regardless of what the score is. You have to watch for the commercials.

Chrissy (10:57)

And the halftime show.

Brian Green (10:58)

And the halftime show, which was Kendrick Lamar, which I thought was fine. I thought it was good. I know there was a lot of messaging going on in there. I only. And I'm just being honest about this. I only got some of that messaging after I read about it on social media. But Kendrick is great. He's a. He's a super entertainer. He's out there in the middle of the Superdome with 12 layers of clothes on in full gloves. I mean, I understand it's a style he's got going on, but that dude was sweating.

Chrissy (11:26)

Yeah.

Brian Green (11:26)

Yeah. You're under those lights and you're wearing, like that. The two heavy coats and gloves and these big boots. I mean, that must have been. That must have been a lot to go out there and. And shake it like that for a long time.

Chrissy (11:37)

Yeah.

Brian Green (11:38)

But I thought that the super bowl halftime show was fine. It was.

Rachel (11:41)

It was fine.

Chrissy (11:42)

I missed that Serena Williams came out at one point. I kind of missed that Serena Williams.

Brian Green (11:46)

Came out at one point.

Chrissy (11:47)

Yes, she was there.

Brian Green (11:48)

Where was Serena Williams part of the show? Yeah. Really?

Chrissy (11:51)

She Came out.

Brian Green (11:52)

Truly?

Chrissy (11:52)

Yes.

Brian Green (11:53)

Seriously?

Chrissy (11:54)

Yes. That's what I was reading about. And I was like, I've missed that.

Brian Green (11:58)

I am getting too old. How did my brain just fart and not see Serena Williams? I watched the entire thing pretty intently, and I didn't see Serena Williams. Not once.

Chrissy (12:07)

Maybe you just didn't recognize her. She was kind of glammed out.

Brian Green (12:09)

Oh, was she glammed out? Was she one of the dancers?

Chrissy (12:12)

I can't remember. Again, I missed it, but I read that she was there.

Brian Green (12:16)

Oh, you missed the Kendrick Lam.

Chrissy (12:17)

Oh, no, no, I saw the last.

Brian Green (12:18)

Oh, you missed the Serena Williams thing. Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I missed it, too, and I was watching pretty intently. So there you go. And then, you know, so I thought, obviously, the super bowl is a very polished performance. They had a lot of celebrities there. They did a good job of showing the celebrities, but not being overly heavy on, you know, showing the celebrities. I think Fox and the NFL in general have probably learned that showing Taylor Swift after every play that Kelsey is involved in is bad news. Trump was there.

Chrissy (12:51)

He was.

Brian Green (12:51)

He admittedly got a rousing applause from the crowd at the Superdome. And then they showed Taylor about 30 minutes later, and she got a rousing boo from the crowd.

Chrissy (13:04)

Well, it was predominantly Eagles fans that were there at the.

Brian Green (13:07)

It sounded like it, didn't it? It really. Yeah, it sounded like it. Now, maybe that's because the Chiefs fans have been blessed with two appearances and two wins already, and it's kind of perfunctory at this point. Maybe they didn't show up. Maybe that, like, they were like, oh, we've already, you know, been there, done that. If you're apt. Yeah, if you're apt to go to the. The see the Chiefs win a Super bowl, you probably have already done that. If you have extra $12,000 to drop, you probably went to one of the last two. And so. And when you think of Philadelphia, the Eagles fans do like a good party, and New Orleans is where a good party is. So they're probably getting out of the cold, coming down to the New Orleans, sitting in the soup for a couple of days, and then, you know, going and watching their team absolutely kick the shit out of the Chiefs. I don't think Travis Kelsey had one catch. Did he have one? Maybe at the end there.

Chrissy (13:55)

Maybe one at the end.

Brian Green (13:56)

I think they just like.

Chrissy (13:58)

But it was bad.

Brian Green (13:59)

Patrick Mahomes rendered useless during the game, basically. And then the celebrities that were there.

Chrissy (14:05)

They had Kevin Costner next to Pete Davidson. Kevin Costner was a funny Combo?

Brian Green (14:11)

Yeah. Honestly, seriously, Pete Davidson, I like. I like Pete Davidson when I have a newfound respect after watching him do stand up. Because he was really good at it. He was very funny. And that is not what Pete Davidson is known for. He's not known to be a stand up comic. He was really good at it. I thought he was. I thought he did an excellent job. But to see Kevin Costner, first of all, in every commercial talking about freedom in America and we're what, you know, all of us have won together and all this other bullshit. He's just such a cuck. And I, I don't know Kevin Costner, I'm not a huge fan of right now. But then to see him next to Pete Davidson was an odd couple.

Chrissy (14:46)

I was like, oh, they're together?

Brian Green (14:47)

Yeah. Pete Davidson is drugged out, tattooed, you know, got a stoner character. And Kevin Costner is the opposite of whatever that is. Kevin Costner is the kind of guy that if you borrow $5 from him, he will remember it six years later. Do you know what I'm saying? I just imagine that's who he is.

Chrissy (15:03)

Really?

Brian Green (15:03)

Yes, that's how I imagine Kevin Costner. He's got a spreadsheet where you like my dad does. You owe me $5. Where's that $5? When do I get the $5? You told me you would have it to me last week. There are two kind of people in this world, let's admit it. They're the kind of people who remember you owe them money and the kind of people who understand that you borrowed it because you don't have any in the first place, so you're probably not giving it back. And I like the other. I like the second part better than I like the first ones. I'm just sharing that with everybody.

Chrissy (15:31)

Yeah, everybody likes the second one.

Brian Green (15:32)

Kevin Costner is the first. He's the guy who remembers you owe him $5. I don't like that. And Pete Davidson is. No shit. The second kind. Not because Pete is irresponsible with cash or doesn't care whether or not you pay him back. He doesn't remember. Okay, That's Pete Davidson. So Pete and Kevin Costner were sitting together. I don't know who was in Taylor's box. I couldn't see. Yeah, who was in Taylor? Some other famous people were in Taylor's box. I think she was sitting with the Kelsey family also. Maybe that was Kelsey's sister.

Chrissy (16:02)

And, well, Brittany, I'm sure was in there with her Mahomes.

Brian Green (16:05)

Oh, Brittany, Mahomes. Okay. All right. And then I saw that Paul Rudd was there.

Chrissy (16:12)

Oh, I saw Paul McCartney with Paul.

Brian Green (16:14)

McCartney and Adam Sandler. That's a box where I think I would have enjoyed.

Chrissy (16:19)

Yeah, that seems like a fun box.

Brian Green (16:20)

Adam Sandler, Paul. Paul Rudd, a Chiefs fan. He looked like he was in a lot of dismay. Who were the other celebrities that were there? Who else did we see? Hold on one second. I took notes, actually. I don't know why. I'm just trying to guess. When I took a bunch of notes. Anne Hathaway was there. Oh, Ann Hathaway was there. She's an Eagles fan. Anne Hathaway is on my list for sure. Yeah, I had Anne Hathaway. That's what I had. Pete Davidson, Kevin Costner, Anne Hathaway, Trump and Taylor Swift. Listen, say what you will about Trump, he seemed to be very well received by that crowd. Very well received. Which has not always been the case. When Trump has been in the building, he has oftentimes been booed.

Chrissy (16:59)

That's the first time a president has ever gone to the Super Bowl.

Brian Green (17:02)

Oh, really?

Chrissy (17:03)

Yeah.

Brian Green (17:03)

Is that true? The first time a president has ever gone to the super bowl, huh?

Chrissy (17:10)

Yes.

Brian Green (17:11)

You would think that. What is it, super bowl lix or something? You would think that after all this, it was licks. Oh, yeah, that's right. L I X, X. L I X. L I X. What is that? What does the L stand for? The L stands for? It stands for 50. L, I X. So that means one before 10. So 59. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so 59. So you would think that after 59 Super Bowls, there would have been one president who decided to show up. Well, that's taxpayer dollars well spent, right? Shut down the super dough so that Trump can come in and check it out. Listen, I got no problem with Trump showing up at the Super Bowl. It's obviously one of those things that all most Americans.

Chrissy (17:51)

It is surprising when I read that, that no one else, no other president sitting president has been.

Brian Green (17:56)

I thought Obama was a big football fan and certainly Bill Clinton. You know, the Super Bowl's got a lot of ladies that show up to it. Ladies of the night. You would think Bill Clinton would have been there to get some action, right? I don't know. Hey, what do I know? I'm just a guy. I've never been to a Super Bowl. I'll never go to a Super Bowl. I don't know. It just seems like not something that I. It's. Of all the sporting events that I could go to the Super Bowl. Is way down on the list.

Chrissy (18:20)

I've been to parties surrounding the Super Bowl. Like when we. Atlanta had the Super Bowl. When was that? 10 years ago? Something like.

Brian Green (18:26)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've had a couple of.

Chrissy (18:28)

And I went to some parties around it and it was kind of.

Brian Green (18:31)

You went to like some parties that were like super bowl sanctioned?

Chrissy (18:35)

That. Yeah, I mean, they were kind of like parties with athletes and around it. Music.

Brian Green (18:40)

Did you go to that shack thing? Is that what you went to?

Chrissy (18:42)

No.

Brian Green (18:43)

Okay.

Chrissy (18:43)

The Shack.

Brian Green (18:44)

Shaq puts on a big.

Chrissy (18:45)

Oh, Shaq.

Brian Green (18:46)

Yeah, he becomes a DJ for.

Chrissy (18:47)

Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Brian Green (18:48)

He puts on a big superpower.

Chrissy (18:49)

Something that was over on like Howell Mill, the west side.

Brian Green (18:52)

One of those, like one of those warehouse things. Yeah, yeah. And what do you mean by. It was like, eh. It was just like kind of a boring party.

Chrissy (18:58)

Well, no, I mean, I'm just not into that. Those kinds of parties where everybody's kind of trying to vie for who's there and who's looking and who. Whatever. I don't know.

Brian Green (19:07)

Yeah, it's like a scene seen and be seen scene and be seen kind of party. Yeah, that's admittedly not my scene either. Mainly because no one's looking for me. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I think if people were looking for me, then it would be more exciting.

Chrissy (19:20)

Yeah, yeah.

Brian Green (19:21)

I'm more of a naked hippie in the wood kind of party because no one's looking for me there either. But at least I get to see tits, you know what I'm saying? So that's kind of my sense. That's where my scene.

Chrissy (19:32)

Yeah.

Brian Green (19:32)

If there's boobs, then I can. Yeah, I can appreciate it. I think when the. Not this time when the super bowl happened, but the last time when the super bowl happened, I did go to a couple of the strip clubs here.

Chrissy (19:43)

Okay.

Brian Green (19:44)

Days before now, the day before the super bowl, we had a big ice storm. So, you know, but it was like a couple of days before and I went to a few of the strip clubs and it was. It was hopping, it was lit, slamming, slam packed. Yeah. Atlanta's known for having a lot of great.

Chrissy (19:57)

Yeah.

Brian Green (19:57)

Dance halls where you dance naked.

Chrissy (19:59)

They are.

Brian Green (20:00)

Or they dance naked and you watch them and pay them to dance naked.

Chrissy (20:02)

Yep.

Brian Green (20:03)

And yeah, I have no problem with that. Gold Club, baby. The Gold Club.

Chrissy (20:09)

Do you remember the Gold Club? Of course I do.

Brian Green (20:11)

Pink Pony Club, by the way, now one of my daughters is singing that fucking Pink Pony Club, you know, at the Pink Pony Club, Chappelle Roan. Now, let me explain. I normally wouldn't have any problem with my daughter singing a Chapel Roan song as long as the lyrics were appropriate. But she's a little girl. She is not even six years old yet. This one I'm talking about. She's not even six years old yet. And to anybody who lives in Atlanta, Pink Pony Club takes on a whole different meaning because the Pink Pony Club is the largest strip club in Atlanta. It is extraordinarily famous. And if you've lived in Atlanta long enough, you've been to a Pink Pony club. No doubt about it.

Chrissy (20:50)

There are two.

Brian Green (20:51)

There used to be two. They shut one of them down, but I went to the grand opening of that one of that pink of the second one.

Chrissy (20:57)

I think that was the one that we went.

Brian Green (20:59)

We went together. Yes. And I got propositioned by another executive at the company to have sex with him and his wife.

Chrissy (21:05)

Yes.

Brian Green (21:06)

Yes.

Chrissy (21:06)

That's right. That's right.

Brian Green (21:07)

Very not cool. Don't sleep with other executives and their wives just sharing that with you. Unless they have cocaine, then you can do it. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. We'll run through the commercials on the Super Bowl. We got lots more to talk about. Thanks for joining us on this episode of the commercial break. We'll be back.

Rachel (21:26)

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at chrissy@tc.tcbpodcast.com Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

Brian Green (22:25)

All right, let's talk about the most important thing regarding the super bowl, which is, of course, the commercials. Doesn't matter who's playing any given year. By the way, I, I had no dog in this fight. Like, I am not a fan of the Chiefs. I am not a fan of the Eagles. I don't really care either way. But my kids got excited about the Chiefs because they like their ketchup and mustard colored uniforms.

Chrissy (22:45)

Right, that's mentioned. The colors were better.

Brian Green (22:48)

I know.

Chrissy (22:48)

I kind of like green.

Brian Green (22:50)

When one of my kids said ketchup and mustard, I was like, oh, that's true. It is ketchup and mustard. Anyway, so they like the ketchup and mustard. And then, you know, the, the, the girls like Taylor, so of course they're going to vote. You know, they're going to run with that. So I will say I had no dog in the fight, but I thought, okay, I'll root for the Chiefs. Why not see them three peat? That'd be cool, I guess, you know, see some history.

Chrissy (23:09)

Yeah, a little.

Brian Green (23:10)

You know, those numbers are broke, records are broken all the time. It's part of what makes sports interesting is when you can, you know, go ahead and break a record or do something interesting, get 5,000 yards in one game. But I quickly became an Eagles fan. Like within a quarter, I thought to myself, wow, these guys are playing superior football. And for a guy who doesn't know the first thing about football, I thought, yeah, this is cool. I like to see this. I like to see someone just dominate. Picking people apart, picking a team apart. That was really good football played by the Eagles. So I will say I. By the end of the first quarter, I was like, okay, go Eagles. Yeah, why not?

Chrissy (23:48)

It was definitely a revenge win.

Brian Green (23:49)

That's right. So let's talk about the most important commercials of the day. Because of course, the most important thing is the commercial breaks, right, Chrissy?

Chrissy (23:58)

That's right.

Brian Green (23:58)

There you go. T mobile has decided that they are going to hook up with another big cuck, Elon Musk. The guy single handedly destroy our earth right now. Elon Musk. They're going to hook up with him and do some Starlink thing where you could get phone coverage anywhere. There is not a place where I travel that I need that kind of coverage. If you're looking to get me on the top of Mount Everest, that's not going to happen. I do not go in the middle of the Sahara desert. I am not camping out in Yosemite. I am not in the great wilds of Alaska or Canada, the great Northern Canada. I am not any of those places where I would need Starlink coverage.

Chrissy (24:40)

A way to think about just yourself.

Brian Green (24:42)

Well, hey, no one. I mean, and who is. Does Verizon not cover most of.

Chrissy (24:48)

There's plenty of people that go out to those remote locations and people in other developing countries. So I, you know, Starlink itself, I think is probably a good thing.

Brian Green (24:57)

I don't think so. I don't think so. And I'll explain why. Okay, you are fucking up the one place close to Earth that we have not fucked up yet, which is our near Earth atmosphere. You are stuffing it full of little flying machines that, by the way, are coming down out of the sky all the time.

Chrissy (25:17)

There was like, a lot of space junk.

Brian Green (25:19)

Yeah, there's a lot of space junk. And we're just creating more space junk, which is going to make it harder and harder to fly into space, harder and harder to see our own stars, harder and harder to, you know, navigate all these other things. We. This is like one huge experiment that no one knows what's going to happen. And now there are tens of thousands of those things flying in the sky. I have seen them with my own own eyes. It is rather disturbing because they are not stars. They are just little satellites providing Internet to people in the Sahara desert, I guess. Listen, I understand. I agree with you. In developing countries where you don't have Internet access, I can understand how Starlink could be beneficial. But I think you could probably do that for developing countries with far fewer pieces of space junk flying through there. I just don't agree with, like, filling our sky with a bunch of junk and hoping that everything turns out okay. I think we should have been a little bit more careful about deciding to allow somebody just to throw tens of thousands of satellites in near Earth orbit and hope that everything's going to go okay. That's my personal opinion, you know.

Chrissy (26:23)

Yeah, you can have it. You don't want to go to space.

Brian Green (26:25)

What's that?

Chrissy (26:26)

You don't want to go to space, do you?

Brian Green (26:27)

Well, now you want to go to space. I'd like my children to be able to look in the sky without seeing Elon Musk's name written in there by a bunch of drones. That's what I'd like. Is that okay?

Chrissy (26:37)

Yes.

Brian Green (26:37)

Yeah. Okay. Yes.

Chrissy (26:39)

You're very strongly opinionated.

Brian Green (26:40)

Yes. It's not about Elon Musk. This is about space. This is about then, hey, I'm sorry.

Chrissy (26:49)

Elon Musk fan, but I think it does have some benefits.

Brian Green (26:52)

Okay, well, I disagree. And I think that we could probably take that same amount of money and just give connectivity to places on Earth that don't have connectivity. That's it. In the regular way that we do it here. You know, the regular. The way that it's been done for a long time, and it doesn't. That.

Chrissy (27:07)

What about in the case of natural disasters, though? Like the huge hurricane that hit up in Asheville? No one had Internet.

Brian Green (27:13)

And you can position a satellite.

Chrissy (27:15)

That's the way they were able to connect to people.

Brian Green (27:16)

You can position one satellite for connectivity or two satellites for connectivity. If I can get Sirius XM in my car anywhere I go, and they have two satellites or three satellites. I think the. I think you could. And I. And I am not an expert on connectivity, but I think you could probably do the same thing with far less space junk. I don't understand how many.

Chrissy (27:37)

Do you know how many satellites they have out there?

Brian Green (27:39)

There's like. I can tell you because there's a website, Star link tracker. Hold on one second. I can tell you this. There are. They're currently tracking about 7,000 of them. Look.

Chrissy (28:03)

That seem like a lot.

Brian Green (28:04)

Look at that. Those. Every single one of those is a satellite. Yeah. That's insane. That's insane. It covers every inch of the earth.

Chrissy (28:11)

Yeah, yeah. You're just saying more regulations around it.

Brian Green (28:14)

More regulations. And then maybe we could accomplish the same thing without so many tiny little satellites and I don't know, but maybe we could. And in the case of natural disaster, I totally understand. But do you know. You know this because Jeff does this when Jeff has a concert and there's going to be 20,000 of his closest friends are going to show up over there in Memphis, right?

Chrissy (28:35)

Yeah.

Brian Green (28:35)

And he knows that that's going to be a problem when everybody's trying to call out and share pictures with their friends and post on Instagram. Jeff says, I need those people to post on Instagram to get the word out about Mempho. So you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to call Verizon or AT&T and I'm going to let them know we're having this party and they're going to show up. Big truck.

Chrissy (28:53)

Yes, that's true.

Brian Green (28:54)

And a big pole. And on that pole is going to be some receivers, and it's going to allow more people to use their phone inside of that venue. No muss. No fuss.

Chrissy (29:04)

Yeah.

Brian Green (29:05)

Can Verizon or. Or Elon or whoever show up with one of Those anytime there's a natural disaster, could we do that also?

Chrissy (29:13)

Let's look into it.

Brian Green (29:15)

Thank you. I will not be signing up for T Mobile's.

Chrissy (29:20)

No, I'm not gonna sign up for two.

Brian Green (29:24)

Sounds like you are mad at you now. We're not friends anymore. The Jurassic Park 17 is coming out with Scarlett Johansson. And I couldn't be less excited if you asked. If you tried to make me less excited about something, I couldn't be less excited about Starlink, about Jurassic Park. I'm still stuck on it. I'm sorry. If you use Starlink. God bless you. If you're listening to me on Starlin. God bless you. God bless you.

Chrissy (29:54)

Yeah, thank you for listening.

Brian Green (29:56)

Yeah, I. Whatever. Anyway, I just have a problem with the space junk, but that's, you know, neither here nor there. I think the technology is amazing. But SiriusXM does the same thing with three satellites or two satellites, whatever it is. Jurassic Park 17 is coming out. I thought that that was a very anticlimactic commercial because how many times can we visit the same island and get the same goddamn dinosaurs chase us around?

Chrissy (30:17)

Yeah.

Brian Green (30:18)

And why are we going back to the island?

Chrissy (30:20)

Stop.

Brian Green (30:20)

Just let him die over there. What are we doing? Why are we going back? Since the first Dum Dum had that idea to make a Disney world out of Jurassic park, which by the way was an excellent movie and an excellent book. Jurassic park one.

Chrissy (30:34)

Yes, one was the best one.

Brian Green (30:36)

We stop at one. We don't need any more Jurassic Parks. You have to squeeze the ever loving shit out of every fucking ip. I swear on all that's holy, no one is asking for Jurassic Park 7. No one. Do you know anybody in your personal life that is texting you, hey, when are they gonna make another Jurassic Park?

Chrissy (30:58)

No, no. But that's what Hollywood does. They just keep redoing things and spitting things out again.

Brian Green (31:03)

And I feel bad for Scarlett Johansson because I have a feeling that people are done with Jurassic Park. And the poor girl probably got paid a fucking armored truck full of cash probably showed up at her house to be in that movie. And it's probably not going to do very well because it's the same movie that we've been seeing since Jurassic park one. They go to the island for some un inexplicable reason and then for some explicable reason the dinosaurs want to kill them because they're dinosaurs fuckers. Then of course, the super bowl started in the first 30, you know, in the first commercial, 30 second commercials, Sean Hannity had to make sure. That you, you know, know that he's on Fox News.

Chrissy (31:44)

There are a lot of Fox commercials, obviously, I guess, because it's was plain on Fox.

Brian Green (31:49)

But listen, if it was on NBC, they would be showing. They were showing Lester Holt and they would be talking about Rachel Maddow or whatever. They would have some kind of commercial to drive people to their properties. That's what they do. Again, ain't got no problem with that. That's obviously part of the game. No pun intended. But that Sean Hannity commercial where he's like staring at the mirror at the other, you know, news anchor and they're like, you know, oh, get ready to America and freedom. It's just weird. It's weird and it's over dramatic. Couldn't they have just shown like the. A clip from the Sean Hannity show and said Sean Hannity, 9 o' clock on Fox, you know, like any other normal person. Why you got to be all weird about it? Fox. Anyway, I move on. There was the Ritz commercial with. What's that guy's name? Shannon. Michael Shannon. Do you know Michael Shannon?

Chrissy (32:37)

Yes. Yeah, I didn't see the Ritz commercial, though.

Brian Green (32:40)

It was a Ritz cracker commercial and Salt BAE was on it. So the whole premise was salty people. So there was Michael Shannon, who is obviously known to have a very sour face, and then the Aubrey Plaza, who also has a very sour face, known as a kind of like, you know, resting bitch face. Both of them have. And then they were talking, you know, they were being miserable, essentially. Why are Ritz crackers so good? Why do they have to be so salty and buttery? When I smile, people think I'm breaking mirrors, whatever. He was saying something kind of an unfunny punchline. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Salt Bay shows up and it's like, Salt bae. We really have. We really paying Salt BAE to do a commercial. I would be happy to do a Ritz cracker commercial because I like Ritz crackers. Salt Bay is just a dude who throws salt on meat. Why is he a thing and why is he in a Super bowl commercial? Fuckers. Yeezy got teeth.

Chrissy (33:37)

Yeah, that was strange.

Brian Green (33:39)

Can we all.

Chrissy (33:41)

That was really strange. However, Jeff and I were talking about it later that night about it. And he garnered like 19 million in sales last night. Yes, from that commercial.

Brian Green (33:54)

No shit. He got $19 million in sales. He paid $8 million for the commercial.

Chrissy (33:59)

I guess it was worth it too.

Brian Green (34:00)

I guess that's a plus.

Chrissy (34:01)

Very strange commercial.

Brian Green (34:03)

Well, he did this Last year, too, or a couple years ago, too. He spent all the money on the commercial. And so he just made a commercial with his iPhone where he was sitting in a dental chair getting his new teeth and obviously maybe had had some laughing gas or something because he seemed like he was kind of twisted up and he was like, yeezy.com. yeah, it was a little weird. I understand the point. I get it. It's supposed to be a weird, out of place commercial. And then you're supposed to go to yeezy.com and buy some Yeezy clothes. I'm wearing my Yeezy. I'm wearing my Yeezy sweater, by the way. Listen, I don't. Elon Musk on Super Bowl Sunday limited Yeezy's account. He put a not safe for work stamp on it, which means then it then won't show up in everybody's algorithm because even Elon Musk. Think about this. When Elon Musk thinks you're going crazy, you have done something. Yes, he is just right.

Chrissy (34:58)

Very true.

Brian Green (34:59)

It's a screed. And that screed is anti Semitic, racist, homophobic, transphobic. It just goes on and on and on and on and on. And I understand he's trolling us, but it's like, I don't know that the joke is funny anymore. So like his music or don't like his music.

Chrissy (35:15)

Well, did you see that Bianca put out something in response to Easy?

Brian Green (35:19)

Oh, yeah.

Chrissy (35:20)

She was like, lord, bless my husband. We're, you know, and bless the Jewish people. It was. It was a thing.

Brian Green (35:27)

Oh, she like, retorted. Yeah, she, like, apologized for her husband, basically. I wonder how Easy feels about that. That must be a weird relationship to be. It has to be just to be fly on the wall. Chrissy and Jeff on naked cooking days. Yeezy and Bianca on any Cheesecake Factory dinner night, dinner date. That's it. That's what I want to see. Mountain Dew with seal.

Chrissy (35:50)

The seal of the seal.

Brian Green (35:51)

Listen. Weird. Very strange seal was a seal and he was singing about Mountain Dew. And I was, you know, like, I could be a kiss from a Mountain Dew. My flippers won't hold a Mountain Dew. Like a weird.

Chrissy (36:06)

Everybody split on it. But I thought it was funny.

Brian Green (36:08)

I thought it was funny. I thought it was funny. Good job, Mountain Dew. I thought it was funny.

Chrissy (36:12)

It's pretty funny to have a seal.

Brian Green (36:13)

As a seal in a sea of not funny commercials. You at least got a giggle out of me because it was weird to see seal as a seal.

Chrissy (36:21)

It's Just funny.

Brian Green (36:22)

It was so fucked up that in the. What was it? The Amazon commercial or Netflix commercial with the kid who grew a hat on his head? Oh, yeah. That made me sick to my stomach. I felt kind of.

Chrissy (36:34)

What about the tong one?

Brian Green (36:35)

Oh, the whipped cream?

Chrissy (36:38)

Yeah.

Brian Green (36:38)

That was from Whippet.

Chrissy (36:39)

From weird.

Brian Green (36:40)

Yes. I thought to myself, we just talked about how Whippet has a whole secondary industry. Killing your children with laughing cats. And they had a commercial where the tongue came out of the mouth. I know those two commercials. I don't know. So I don't like when, like those CGI drawings of. It's just weird to me. There's a lot of this AI running around where they make the skin and the head and the bones do different things. It makes me feel a little queasy. I couldn't even watch that commercial. And then they had, like, four parts to it. So that kid with the head hat just kept on showing. It was a little strange. Yes. Weathertech had one of the best commercials of the night. Yeah, they did Weathertech, the floor mat company?

Chrissy (37:19)

Yeah, that's the one. That's. That was one of the ones that I was like, they've got the money to do that? Okay.

Brian Green (37:24)

Yeah, they've got. I don't. Hey, listen, I didn't know that floor mats were showing demand, but, you know, every third person in this country owns a pickup truck. And by the way, statistics. True. Someone wrote this one time, and I think it was 70%. 70% of pickup truck owners report never using the bed of their truck. It's like, why do you have a pickup truck if you don't have. Anyway, so I think that's what's going on. There's a lot of pickup trucks getting Weather Tech. I don't know.

Chrissy (37:56)

That was a great commercial.

Brian Green (37:57)

It was a great commercial for women.

Chrissy (37:59)

That got in a convertible. Yeah, yeah.

Brian Green (38:01)

So they're driving down the highway, going real slow, and then they show it. Then they're doing, like, you know, beach volleyball or something. Then they're playing bingo, and one of the ladies, and she flashes the big. She's in the 80s or something. It was cute and it was well done.

Chrissy (38:15)

Yeah.

Brian Green (38:16)

Good job, Weather Tech. I'm not going to buy your stuff, but.

Rachel (38:19)

Right.

Brian Green (38:20)

Just because I don't need it. Like, I don't own a pickup truck. So let's see. Instacart did, I think, like, the best nod to our generation, the Gen X people who grew up with a certain type of mascot in almost every one of the food commercials, like the Kool Aid what is his name?

Chrissy (38:39)

Yeah.

Brian Green (38:40)

What's the Kool Aid name?

Chrissy (38:41)

Sky Guy.

Brian Green (38:41)

It's the Kool Aid Man. Yeah, Kool Aid Man. All right. Okay. Kool aid man.

Chrissy (38:44)

Mr. Clean.

Brian Green (38:45)

Mr. Clean. The green Giant.

Chrissy (38:47)

Giant.

Brian Green (38:48)

The Green Giant. Tony the Tiger, I think was in there. So all of those. When we were kids and we saw commercials on Saturday morning TV trying to get us to tell our parents to go buy them something, they would put a mascot, like a practical effect mascot or a cartoon mascot like Tony the Tiger or Green Bean Giant or whatever his name is. And those would be the commercials we would watch over and over again for years in the 80s and 90s. And so what they did is they put them all together in one commercial for Instacart. And I thought that was really well done. I liked it even though it was only like 30 seconds long. I thought, oh, that was cool. Snoop Dogg and Tom Brady kept on telling us to, you know, stand down, be peaceful.

Chrissy (39:25)

That's right.

Brian Green (39:26)

Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, Snoop. Thanks, Snoop. That's all I got to say about that. Disappointed in my boy Snoop. We already talked about this, but Matthew McConaughey was in every third commercial, and I guess this is his big money making opportunity. Yeah, I don't know.

Chrissy (39:42)

There wasn't one that was good.

Brian Green (39:44)

What was the Uber Eats commercial?

Chrissy (39:46)

Okay.

Brian Green (39:46)

Where he was putting together a conspiracy where he was saying that the super bowl and football in general was just a conspiracy to get us to eat more food. Yes, because the super Bull, you know, and then he was talking about all the food related terms that are used in football and how the NFL since the beginning has been doing nothing but getting us. Getting us to buy more food. And that was an Uber Eats commercial. And who else was in it? The lady who directed Barbie.

Chrissy (40:15)

Oh, right.

Brian Green (40:16)

Oh, right.

Chrissy (40:17)

Yeah, right now.

Brian Green (40:20)

Greta. Oh, Greta. Oh, my God. Greta Gerwig. Greta Gerwig was in that commercial, too. I thought that was an interesting commercial. It was cute, you know, it was fine. Google. AI was the creepiest commercial of the night and the most hypocritical commercial of the night. And I'll explain why. Chrissy, if you don't mind, first here for a second.

Chrissy (40:39)

Go for it.

Brian Green (40:39)

It was a commercial where a guy is talking into his phone and obviously practicing for an interview for a job. Guy probably my age, in his 40s, right. Practicing to do an interview. And so he's asking AI, you know, and AI is asking him questions, and he's asking questions back and forth. And they're prepping for this interview and all of the answers that he's giving. So that AI asks, what is the hardest job you've ever had? And as he's answering those questions, very business like, what he's actually talking about is being a father. So they are intertwining images of him as his children are growing up, doing various things. Right. So, meant to tug at your heartstrings, but this thing that you're talking to is actually gonna take your fucking job away. It is the most inhuman thing that you could think of. It is a little bit dangerous, a bit scary, and I understand. It's cool and fun right now to play with. And, yeah, maybe it can prep you for your next interview. But then what happens when it takes your job, asshole. Yeah, Google AI is the least emotional thing that I could think of. It's literally a computer that's spitting out things back at you. It's like mirroring humanity in a weird human voice. And then they try and, like, tie it into the emotionality of raising children. We won't be able to raise our children if AI takes all of this shit away from us.

Chrissy (42:04)

Oh, God, let's not go down that road again. I had an anxiety attack the other day after we did the whole thing with the Robot and the AI combined.

Brian Green (42:12)

WA.

Chrissy (42:12)

Bam.

Brian Green (42:13)

Take $8 million in a Google Pixel phone and wa you sorry about your job. Your children can't eat because you don't have any work. Yep, I did have a panic attack after that episode also. So much so that I'm not running that episode. I don't think I want to give everybody else a panic attack. I think I'm putting that in the can. I really do. I listen to it again. And first of all, it's just you and I, by the way, we did an episode. We reviewed the most advanced RO robot that is currently out there, and it was about as creepy as you would expect. It's got advanced AI as well as facial movements and all this other stuff. And we reviewed it, and it was really just Chrissy and I going, shit, shit, shit. Yeah, it's just us having an anxiety attack live on air. Okay, one more and then we'll take a break. I thought that Rocket Mortgage did one of the better commercials of the night as they took John Denver's Take Me Home, Country Roads. They had that song tied to, you know, people doing everyday things, crying, laughing, getting hurt, helping each other, you know, raising children. So at first I thought, oh, this is a West Virginia commercial.

Chrissy (43:24)

Yeah, me too.

Brian Green (43:24)

Come home to West Virginia.

Chrissy (43:26)

Yeah.

Brian Green (43:26)

But what it was Was come home to Rocket mortgage. We'll buy you a house. So they play this song. You're singing it along in your head. You're like, take me home, country roads. It's like a cover of the John Denver song being sung by a choir. And so the commercial is very nice. It tugs at your heartstrings, the whole nine yards. Cut the commercial, and then it's playing the John Denver version of the song in the Superdome, and they are showing people in the crowd singing along to it, like, holding, you know, they're like, have their arms around each other. So the entire, you know, the Superdome is essentially singing the same song, just like you were when the commercial was. And it was like a touching moment. I thought, like, oh, well done, Rocket Morris. Well done. What good coordination. Well done, you know, well thought out. And it worked to the effect that everybody was singing the song and having a moment together. All right, we'll take a break. We come back, we'll talk more.

Rachel (44:22)

Let me do something Brian has never done.

Brian Green (44:25)

Be brief.

Rachel (44:26)

Follow us on Instagram hecommercial break. Text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free sticker. Then watch all the videos@YouTube.com thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.

Brian Green (44:56)

Okay, back here reviewing some of the super bowl commercials on a Super Bowl Wednesday. Wednesday after Super Bowl.

Chrissy (45:05)

Hey, you heard it here last.

Brian Green (45:06)

Hey, you heard it here last. Why not? So we talked about the Rocket mortgage. Okay, now let's talk about the most hypocritical commercial of the night, besides the Google AI bullshit. Yes, the personal Jesus. Jesus commercial. Holy shit, did they get this so fucking wrong?

Chrissy (45:23)

I know.

Brian Green (45:23)

In every way, shape, or form. Johnny Cash covered Personal Jesus on his last album, where he did all cover tunes that was produced by Rick Rubin to great effect.

Chrissy (45:35)

Yeah, it was a great album.

Brian Green (45:36)

It was an incredible album. The song Hurt by Nine Inch Nails being sung by Johnny Cash is one of my opinion in the top 25 songs of all time. It is an incredibly emotional and moving version of that song sung by an incredibly moved and emotional Johnny Cash, prodded by Rick Rubin to almost cry during the song. And you can hear it in his voice. It's amazing. But he also did A cover of Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode. Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode is a song talking about television evangelists and the people who give money to them. And it is a song essentially making fun of those people. Right? It's a. It's like a. It's a satire is what it is. So in their infinite wisdom, whoever they are, the people who every year now put together a minute long commercial about Jesus and going to this website to learn more about Jesus Christ, think what you will about Jesus Christ, but even Jesus Christ would have known that Personal Jesus is not about him. It's about the idiots who are taking your money in the name of faith and religion. And the crazy part is that no one in the organization, yeah, no one.

Chrissy (46:52)

On the team, no one in the.

Brian Green (46:54)

Marketing agency that they probably paid $2 million to to make that commercial. No one was wise enough to research what the meaning of the fucking song Personal Jesus was. Because Depeche Mode, I can guarantee you did not mean to put it in a Jesus commercial. And where is Depeche Mode on all of this?

Chrissy (47:17)

That's a good question.

Brian Green (47:18)

Who said yes to this? They're laughing while they collect that chat.

Chrissy (47:23)

Well, what did you say? They're probably like, yeah, go ahead and use it.

Brian Green (47:26)

Well, let's be real about it, too. They probably don't own the rights to the song, right? Probably owned by, you know, whatever BMG or Universal Music Group or some hedge fund somewhere. Scooter Von Braun or whatever his name is. Scooter. Scooter probably owns it and sold it. But yeah, Depeche Mode got a big check for, you know, using their song in that commercial. But it was just like, at first I thought, oh, this is cool. It's showing people who are in some kind of distress being helped by somebody who is not in distress. So a police officer, a firefighter, a neighbor, someone random on the street. They're like pulling them out of a car after a car accident, you know, talking to them while their house is burning down or whatever. It's just showing people in distress. These very beautiful black and white photographs mostly, and it's just a series of them as this cover of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus is playing in the background. And at first I thought, okay, this is a, this is a really effective commercial. But as I got about 15 seconds in, I started to think, there's no way this is about Jesus.com, is it? Yes, there's no way this is the Jesus.com commercial. And it was fail in every sense of the Word besides the beautiful photography. Fail in every sense of the word, Fail in the use of a cover song, fail in the meaning of the song, fail in the intent of the commercial, and fail. To anyone who ever heard that Depeche Mode song and understood what it meant, we were all going, what? Really?

Chrissy (48:53)

Honestly, I don't think they know what that song really means.

Brian Green (48:56)

They had no idea. Do you think that there's somebody getting fired this morning for that? Like, somebody? Because there must be a ton of people. I didn't see it, but there must be a ton of people online who are like, what the fuck is that all about? Tom Brady played a robot in a Duracell commercial. And I think that could not be more true. Best use of actual robots in a commercial. Tom Brady. Tom Brady. He is so stiff. He is not. People have been ridiculing Tom this entire year over his announcing abilities. And I also know that it. Listen, I've done 700 episodes of this show and a lot, probably 800 hours of the show. And I'm not the best announcer on the microphone. I think I know what I'm doing in the studio, but I also know that it takes a long time to sharpen those edges.

Chrissy (49:45)

Yeah.

Brian Green (49:45)

And I'm still umming and awing all the way through the show, so I get it. But Tom Brady, yesterday, he must have said five times, four minutes and 13 seconds left in the game when it was like the second quarter. When asked, what did the Chiefs do now? Tom was like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He was making, like, inside jokes. That Kevin Hart, which is another celebrity that was there, by the way, he was just. He was kind of all over the place. And I didn't really care for his announcing style. I didn't really understand a lot of what he was saying. I don't think he was lending. Besides the fact that he has been in many Super Bowls and has the ability to put himself in Patrick Mahomes shoes. You know, you're down by a lot. What do you do? But he used none of that wisdom during the actual super bowl that he was getting paid to talk about that exact stuff. He just didn't do it. Tom Brady is a robot. He's a robot. He needed batteries. That's all, I gotta say. So I thought that was a well done commercial because I could easily see Tom Brady as a robot. No, knock on Tom. He seems like a nice enough guy. Tom Brady does, you know, Seems like.

Chrissy (50:51)

My cup of tea.

Brian Green (50:52)

He seems a little skinny. Like, I think Tom could have a burger or something. Doesn't he seem a little skinny? Yeah, he look a little gaunt to you? I'm just saying that. Okay. And so chat. GPT Dots. We already talked about that. The whipped cream tongues. Didn't have any. Didn't have any. Care for tongues flying out of people's mouth.

Chrissy (51:10)

Everybody at my house was like, oh, yes.

Brian Green (51:13)

NFL did a commercial, as they always do, trying to let us know just how much good they do in the world. And they had a commercial which I referred to as the I am somebody commercial. So it was a bunch of coaches sitting around talking to various kids of different ages. And they were cutting back and forth to these coaches, giving these pep talks. And some of these kids were able bodied and some of them were disabled. And it brought me to tears, actually. I was like, wow. And they kept on screaming, I am somebody. I am somebody. I am somebody. And you know, it was a tear jerker. And then it was like, NFL doing your community proud. Yeah, Right. Okay, Got it. Billion dollar industry that can't even take care of its own players. I got it. You're doing great now. You're doing great work in our society. Thanks. Appreciate it. The much ballyhooed Hellman's commercial with Melanie Griffin and Billy Crystal doing the mayonnaise going back to the Harry, Harry Met Sally orgasm scene.

Chrissy (52:10)

Yes.

Brian Green (52:10)

Yeah. Are we to believe that Hellman's mayonnaise, which is not even the best mayonnaise, is really causing Melanie favorite mayonnaise? Is it your favorite mayonnaise? You don't like Dukes? Oh, Chrissy, I know. What is the problem?

Chrissy (52:25)

It's a divide.

Brian Green (52:26)

It is a divide between real mayonnaise and other shit and homogenized oil. I did too. And then I tried Duke's and I never went back. I mean, not that I never went back. It's not. I will eat Hellman's mayonnaise if it's that. If it's there. Right? If it's the only mayonnaise.

Chrissy (52:42)

How often do you eat mayonnaise?

Brian Green (52:43)

What's that?

Chrissy (52:43)

How often do you eat mayonnaise?

Brian Green (52:46)

Depends on if my OCD has me in a mayonnaise cycle. Right, that's true, that's true, that's true. Sometimes I eat a lot of mayonnaise. Sometimes I don't eat any mayonnaise. I'm not currently in a mayonnaise phase, but I could be back at it at the moment. Yeah, I've cycled it out. I want notice when you go back into the mayonnaise phase. Well, you'll know. Just check my refrigerator. You'll know. There'll be two of them sitting there. I can't. I got backups everywhere, you know? Okay, so besides disagreeing on mayonnaise, I will say this. I just didn't find that commercial to be funny, engaging, or at all. And I understand you're not going to believe that someone's having an organ orgasm over mayonnaise. Billy Crystal tried his best to deliver the lines, but it was just such a trope. It felt like, oh, you're Hellman's. You could have done better than that. And Billy, I. Well, I guess if someone paid me a hundred thousand dollars to show up for 30 seconds on set, I also would do that. But I just thought it was kind of a weird commercial that didn't make any sense. Pringles had a great commercial with the mustaches flying around. I thought that was well done. Good job, Pringles. A couple points for originality. The mustaches came off the guys and came off the Pringles. You know, the Pringle guy with the mustache came off and was flying around, and then they flew right into, like, a skyscraper window, like a bird would. And then fell down. It was really funny, actually, the Bud.

Chrissy (54:09)

Light commercial, the old Clydesdales, you got to have.

Brian Green (54:12)

No, I'm talking about the other one. That was Budweiser.

Chrissy (54:14)

Yeah, the Clydesdales, they have to make an appearance at every Super Bowl.

Brian Green (54:17)

I love the Clydesdale. It's an American tradition. I thought this was one of the weaker commercials. They have had so many good commercials with the Clydesdales.

Chrissy (54:26)

They had spoiled.

Brian Green (54:27)

Like the Clydesdale with the puppy and the Clydesdale, you know, going and delivering beer in the big truck. You know, like these emotional moments that you have. And this connection with the Clydesdales, which, by the way, I've seen those Clydesdales. When I went to Denver to the Budweiser plants, I saw those Clydesdale. They are as big as this house. They are incredibly big and beautiful. And you don't want anything to do with them because.

Chrissy (54:51)

Majestic.

Brian Green (54:52)

Yeah, they are very majestic. So you would. I just look forward to that commercial because I always know you get a little tear jerk out of that one. But this one, not so much. It was like rolling a keg to some guy in a bar. And I. I didn't. I didn't get it. I didn't understand it. But I was talking about the Bud Light commercial where they had Peyton. No, he was doing something else. Yeah, Payne, Matt, Peyton Manning, Shane Gillis. Who else? Was in it. Oh, Post Malone.

Chrissy (55:18)

Oh, right.

Brian Green (55:19)

So all of them were in the backyard and Shane Gillis was trying to keep Peyton Manning from, you know, the neighbors calling the cops or whatever. They have a big party, essentially a big cookout is what was going on. So I guess we've all made up with Bud Light now. Yes, I guess that's the point. That's the point of it. We've all made up with Bud Light. It's okay to drink Bud Light again. So fine. It was a fine commercial. It was, you know, interesting. Cute spruce. Who let the dogs out. The Bill Murray email commercial I already talked about, you know, Bill Murray gave his email address and I don't know what was going on there. You can do it. Do it yourself. Bill himselfahoo.com email it. They are going to spam you. Just letting you know.

Chrissy (55:57)

Yeah, I was going to say. Can you just forward me what you got?

Brian Green (55:59)

Yeah, I'll show you a picture of it. It's a long, convoluted email with bad spelling and weird hyphenation and very strange. Did you watch the video? I did. I watched the video. I did not. You didn't? No, because it was. I was already 20 minutes in. I'm like, what? Like what's actually happening here? Yeah, it takes a long time to read the email. The story is. It makes no sense. Bill Murray woke up one morning and he was a dog in the mirror. Huge fan. Didn't get it. Yeah, I didn't get it either. Huge fan to the point where Chrissy and I actually went and saw him singing terribly at a concert with his blood brothers. Of course, the Meta had to make an appearance. And of course Meta hired the Kardashians to do. Or a Kardashian. The mom. Well, now she's not even a Kardashian. She's a Jenner. But hired her to talk about how wonderful the Ray Ban Meta sunglasses were gonna be forever. Fuck you. Fuck Mark Zuckerberg. Fuck you, Kardashian. Fuck it. Fuck it all. Don't. Please don't give Cuckerberg any more ammunition. Don't. Just don't. He has ruined so much of society and now we're all going to play along as people get to wear glasses that are recording every bit of humanity.

Chrissy (57:10)

What are you doing with glasses?

Brian Green (57:12)

I don't know. Then it shows you that, you know, it searches things for you and it shows you the world around you. Could we. Could we separate ourselves anymore from the human experience? I'm being serious. I could see how this is cool. I understand. It's cool, but Ray Ban and Meta getting together to do the Meta Glass. Fine, whatever. But don't take that money.

Rachel (57:33)

Don't.

Brian Green (57:33)

I'm. That's the one. There are a couple of these, like jesus.com or whatever it was. Wouldn't take their money. Meta wouldn't take their money. AI probably not going to take their money. And they do have a lot of money, though, so maybe it might be a little. Okay, and AI, I take their money. But Meta, I'm not taking their money. Fuck Meta. And then to see a Kardashian in there, it's like, wow, there you go. Two peas in a pod right there. Two people ruined society. Mark and Kris Jenner, Kevin Costner. Who cares? Megan, too. Why are we. Why is this movie such a big deal? It's all over the place.

Chrissy (58:08)

It is all over the place.

Brian Green (58:09)

Why is this movie such a big deal?

Chrissy (58:11)

I don't know.

Brian Green (58:12)

Why do we care? Did we see Megan one? It's about a dancing robot that kills people, I think. Is that what it is Now? My kids are excited to see it. Like they saw the commercial and they're like, oh, Daddy, I want to see Megan 2. I'm like, Megan 2? What are you talking about? Megan? It's like a murdering robot, isn't it? Isn't that what it's about?

Chrissy (58:27)

Yeah.

Brian Green (58:27)

Have you seen Megan one? I didn't watch it. It's a horror movie. It's amica gone wrong. Oh, it is? Yes. Don't watch it. I'm not gonna watch it. I'm already having a panic attack. Lay's did a. I thought a nice commercial where they had a girl who was growing a potato plant and then she took her potato and sent it to the lay's factory, which, you know, that happens.

Chrissy (58:47)

Lay's has had a big recall, though.

Brian Green (58:49)

I know a bunch of their chips are killing people. That may have been why they did the commercial.

Chrissy (58:54)

I don't think so.

Brian Green (58:55)

Yeah, because they gotta get back on the wagon and get in your belly. Homes.com must be spending a ton of money on celebrities because they had Morgan Freeman in their commercial. I can only imagine that he must be one of the more expensive voices to get in your commercial, because everyone wants Morgan Freeman's voice, right? So he was in a Homes.com commercial. And I just noticed that Homes.com has a lot of commercials right now. They are really hitting the marketing very.

Chrissy (59:20)

Very competing with Zillow.

Brian Green (59:23)

Yeah, Zillow and reloader.com. so I think they're really just trying to kind of, I don't know, smother the market.

Chrissy (59:31)

Your brain?

Brian Green (59:31)

Yeah. Get into your brain. Although I don't know if I've ever been to homes.com. have you been?

Chrissy (59:35)

I have.

Brian Green (59:35)

Okay. Is it like Zillow? Is that what it is?

Chrissy (59:37)

Okay.

Brian Green (59:37)

All right. Hymns and hers. Let's talk about this for a second and how just terribly positioned this commercial was for a lot of different reasons. First of all, Hims and Hers shows talks about the conspiracy on behalf of the medical industry to keep people sick and overweight. Talks about how many Americans are overweight. It shows pictures of regular, average Americans, most of which are overweight in the commercial. And it talks about how the medical industry wants to keep us sick so that they can sell us medicine and keep us coming back to then be a commercial about a medical company that sells medications to keep us coming back. Yeah, it was unbelievably tone deaf. Unbelievably tone deaf. And it shows. It was also talking about the unrealistic expectations set upon us on the media for our body types and body expectations and, you know, body image and all this other stuff. It's showing now here.

Chrissy (60:35)

Lose weight with us.

Brian Green (60:36)

Yeah. Now lose weight with our medications, not the other guy's medications. Lose with our medications. It's the same fucking thing. You're. You're a same cog in the wheel. I don't understand why you're trying to convince us otherwise. Incredibly tone deaf. I have nothing against hims or hers. I don't know who they are. I don't know what they do. I guess they sell GLP1s as well.

Chrissy (60:54)

As, like, erectile dysfunction stuff and hair replacement.

Brian Green (60:58)

Oh, call me. I'll do a sponsorship for you anyway, you know. Okay, great. And then they're trying to tell us that there's unrealistic expectations about body image. I agree. Me. No doubt about it. The camera's for me. Excuse me while I take one second to talk inside of the studio. Thank you very much. I have no doubt about it that this is all true. That in fact, the medical system has all. Has kind of turned itself backwards. I don't think it's a conspiracy, but I think that it's just the way that it is to sell you the medications and, you know, not fix the problem because that's where the money is. Like Chris Rock said said, it's on the comeback. It's not on one sale. It's on keeping you coming back. And I understand that I'm not dumb enough, but does hims and hers understand that they are part of that process?

Chrissy (61:49)

Subscription service.

Brian Green (61:51)

So they have doctors that are prescribing you medication to keep you coming back so you stay skinny. It's insane how tone deaf this commercial was. But the very next commercial, the very next commercial is for poppy sodas. Poppy sodas, Low sugar. Supposed to taste like your favorite soda, but it's got low sugar and all the, you know, low carbs or whatever it is. And it shows nothing but beautifully beautiful women, skinny as can be in slinky outfits telling you that you should drink poppy soda to keep those unrealistic expectations, keep those bodies unrealistically skinny. It was crazy that Fox did not separate these two commercials. That no one in at Fox after having gotten 16 collective million dollars from these two companies, didn't think for one second to check how the continuity would go. You would think that would be one of the things that someone has to check, right? Yeah, I guess I just, I watched it and I was like, holy, Fox has on. Yeah, it's true. I mean, listen, no one accused any of those big networks of being smart. But at the same time, if I'm poppy or if I'm hims and hers, I'm upset the next morning that these two commercials ran back to back because one is talking about how, you know, media and the health industry is just trying to keep you sick by and make you have to live up to unrealistic expectations while the next commercial wants you to live up to those unrealistic expectations. That was the dumbest thing that Fox did all night. I have tried poppy sodas.

Chrissy (63:28)

Yeah?

Brian Green (63:29)

Yeah. And did you? Have you tried them?

Chrissy (63:31)

No. That's why I was wondering.

Brian Green (63:32)

Yeah, I've tried them. Listen, I don't, you know, everybody claims they taste, you know, it's like soda. The soda maker and all these. They all claim that they taste like your favorite soda.

Chrissy (63:41)

Really?

Brian Green (63:42)

Yeah. But I don't know if they taste like your favorite soda. That's all I'm saying. I guess that's left up to interpretation.

Chrissy (63:46)

Yeah.

Brian Green (63:47)

And I don't have anything against poppy. We actually have some in the refrigerator right now. Now it's fine, whatever. Cool. Yeah, it's carbonated soda that, you know, essentially tastes a little bit like maybe your favorite soda, but not all the way bit like a little bit, not all the bit. You know what I'm saying? Okay. It's not a. It's not a. If you really are dying for a Coca Cola, there is nothing else that's going to replace that Taste except for Coca Cola. None of those spritzy spray stream things that you have at home. None of those sodas that are low carb, low sugar. Coke Zero is not going to do it for you. Coca Cola is what you want. It's a taste that humans are born. I think humans are born wanting Coca Cola. They know the taste. Yes. A Pepsi is not going to cure that. Nothing's going to cure that. RC Cola, not even going to come close. If you want a Coca Cola, drink a Coca Cola. And I'm not a cuck for Coca Cola. I'm just saying that's the way it is. Same with Sprite. There's a lot of Sprite imitators out there, Chrissy, but none of them taste like Sprite. Yeah, that's all I have to say. What did you think about the commercial?

Chrissy (64:55)

I thought they were so, so.

Brian Green (64:56)

You thought they were so, so.

Chrissy (64:58)

Yeah, yeah.

Brian Green (64:59)

Well, listen.

Chrissy (65:02)

I. I'm sorry there was no standout.

Brian Green (65:04)

I'm sorry.

Chrissy (65:05)

This is the best commercial of the whole.

Brian Green (65:08)

Yeah, clearly there was no standout.

Chrissy (65:10)

Good parts.

Brian Green (65:11)

But yeah, yeah, I don't think there was any like standout commercial where it was like, that was the best commercial.

Chrissy (65:18)

Right.

Brian Green (65:20)

But I did think the breast cancer commercial was excellent to raise awareness. It showed bouncing boobs. It showed famous scenes from movies that have boobs. It did everything but show an actual naked boob. It was all boobs.

Chrissy (65:34)

We already saw that at the Grammys.

Brian Green (65:35)

What's that?

Chrissy (65:36)

We already saw that at the Grammy.

Brian Green (65:37)

Yeah, we got that. Ye took care of it. No problem. Thanks. Easy. We appreciate it.

Chrissy (65:42)

No, that was a great commercial. And to bring awareness and top of.

Brian Green (65:46)

Mind, check your tatas, men and women. The only thing it didn't do was show a man and his boobs. And I wish they would have because men also can die from breast cancer.

Chrissy (65:55)

True.

Brian Green (65:56)

I don't think a lot of guys know that, but check your tata, everybody. Check your tatas. Go get your tatas checked out. That's the most important message of the night, I think, quite frankly.

Chrissy (66:05)

Yeah, I agree.

Brian Green (66:06)

That and Taylor Swift maybe on the backside of her very wonderful two year run. 23:24. Okay, I'd like to thank Ari Shafir who came in yesterday. Tuesday's TCB infomercial was Ari, please do yourself a favor, go watch it. His new Netflix special, America's Sweetheart, available right now. It's out. You can go watch it, Ari. Shafir.com for tour tickets and all the good stuff about Ari. You can go check that out. I'll put a link in the show note all week long in the show notes Ari. Also we'd like you to get in touch with us. 212-433-TCB 212-433-3822 questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas? We're taking them all right there. Text message or leave us a voicemail if you want to be on the next episode of the commercial break. Who knows maybe we'll use your voice. Just be mindful about what you say at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com the commercial break for all of the episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio. Please subscribe like and comment on your favorite video. Okay Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

Chrissy (67:18)

I think so.

Brian Green (67:19)

But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you. Your starlink idea. Until next time. We always say we will say we do say goodbye. What the is going on in here.