Starlink & Superbowl Stink!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break - Episode "Starlink & Superbowl Stink!"

Host Information:

• Hosts: Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley
• Podcast: The Commercial Break
• Release Date: February 13, 2025

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1. Introduction

In this episode of The Commercial Break, co-hosts Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley dive deep into the events of the Super Bowl, dissect the halftime show, and offer their candid (and often humorous) takes on the array of Super Bowl commercials. Their chemistry and twisted sense of humor provide a vibrant backdrop for their discussions, inviting listeners into their unique perspective on pop culture phenomena.

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2. Super Bowl Game Analysis

Bryan and Chrissy kick off their discussion with an analysis of the Super Bowl game, focusing on the unexpected performance of the Kansas City Chiefs and the dominant play of the Philadelphia Eagles.

• Eagles' Dominance: Bryan expresses surprise and disappointment regarding the Chiefs' performance, stating, “Patrick Mahomes rendered useless during the game, basically. And then the celebrities that were there...” (05:49). Chrissy agrees, noting, “It was bad,” (04:56) emphasizing the loss as a “revenge win” for the Eagles (26:46).

• Chiefs' Underperformance: Despite Patrick Mahomes' reputation, Bryan highlights his limited effectiveness, remarking, “He creates plays out of thin air... I think they held him to, like, less than 200 yards of offr...” (05:10).

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3. Halftime Show Review

The hosts transition to discussing the Super Bowl halftime show, offering mixed reviews on the performances and the incorporation of New Orleans’ cultural elements.

• Kendrick Lamar's Performance: Bryan praises Kendrick Lamar’s performance but critiques his wardrobe, saying, “He's out there in the middle of the Superdome with 12 layers of clothes... that dude was sweating” (12:26).

• Celebrity Appearances: They discuss the presence of Serena Williams and other celebrities, with Chrissy admitting she missed some appearances: “I missed that Serena Williams was there” (12:46), leading to Bryan expressing his own oversight and confusion regarding the lineup (12:50).

• New Orleans Flair: Both hosts acknowledge the effective representation of New Orleans’ spirit in the halftime show, appreciating the inclusion of local landmarks and musical talent: “They had Turbone Shorty and Jon Batiste... very New Orleans” (10:50).

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4. Commercials Breakdown

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to reviewing and critiquing various Super Bowl commercials. Bryan and Chrissy provide their unfiltered opinions, blending humor with pointed criticism.

a. T-Mobile’s Starlink Service

• Critique of Starlink: Bryan launches into a tirade against T-Mobile’s Starlink commercial, expressing strong environmental concerns: “You are fucking up the one place close to Earth that we have not fucked up yet... It’s like one huge experiment that no one knows what’s going to happen” (27:38).

• Chrissy’s Take: Chrissy counters slightly, acknowledging some benefits: “There’s plenty of people that go out to those remote locations and people in other developing countries” (27:54) but remains skeptical.

• Notable Quote:

  • Bryan: “If you use Starlink, God bless you. If you’re listening to me on Starlink, God bless you.” (02:24)

b. Jeep and Matthew McConaughey

• McConaughey’s Repetition: The hosts mock Matthew McConaughey's recurring presence in Jeep commercials: “They're buddies. What does it have to do with AI? I'm not really sure” (07:27).

• Misassociation: Chrissy corrects Bryan, clarifying McConaughey’s affiliation: “Well, Chrissy, I'm not much of a fan...” (08:06).

c. Google AI Commercial

• Disapproval of AI Depiction: Bryan criticizes the portrayal of AI in Google’s commercial, highlighting its lack of emotional depth and the ironic message: “It was the most hypocritical commercial of the night” (43:12).

• Personal Impact: Both hosts share their anxiety triggered by AI-themed content, with Bryan admitting, “I had an anxiety attack after that episode” (45:09).

d. WeatherTech

• Positive Reception: WeatherTech receives praise for its commercial, with Bryan acknowledging its creativity and relatability: “It was cute and it was well done” (40:54).

• Inspirational Angle: Chrissy echoes the sentiment, appreciating the commercial's charm: “That was a great commercial” (40:33).

e. Other Notable Commercials

• Rocket Mortgage: Bryan lauds Rocket Mortgage for their heartfelt commercial using John Denver’s “Take Me Home,” praising its emotional resonance: “It was like, oh, this is cool... very well thought out” (55:42).

• Pringles: The Pringles mustache-themed ad is commended for originality and humor: “He took off his mustache and stuff” (57:08).

• Bud Light: Mixed feelings are expressed about Bud Light’s diverse celebrity appearances and the evolving portrayal of their brand.

• Hellman’s Mayonnaise: The hosts express disappointment in Hellman’s commercial featuring Melanie Griffin and Billy Crystal, deeming it outdated and unfunny: “It was just such a trope” (57:39).

• Homes.com Commercial: Negative feedback is given for Homes.com’s commercial, critiquing its contradictory messaging and tone-deaf approach: “Unbelievably tone-deaf” (64:18).

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5. Celebrity Appearances in Commercials

Bryan and Chrissy discuss the varied and sometimes mismatched celebrity endorsements in Super Bowl ads.

• Kevin Costner and Pete Davidson: They find the pairing of Costner and Davidson in a commercial to be an odd combination, highlighting the clash in their public personas: “Pete Davidson is drugged out... Kevin Costner is the kind of guy that remembers you owe him money” (15:11).

• Morgan Freeman and Others: The hosts note Morgan Freeman’s involvement in multiple commercials, questioning the authenticity and necessity of such high-profile endorsements: “Morgan Freeman... one of the more expensive voices to get in your commercial” (64:33).

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6. Personal Anecdotes and Side Discussions

Throughout the episode, Bryan and Chrissy interweave personal stories and humorous exchanges that add depth to their commentary.

• College Sports Anecdotes: Early in the transcript, Bryan touches on college sports, though this segment appears to be part of the initial ad, later skipped.

• Mayonnaise Preferences: A light-hearted debate ensues over mayonnaise brands, showcasing the hosts' differing tastes and adding a relatable human element: “They have a divide between real mayonnaise and other shit” (57:23).

• Party Experiences: Bryan shares his experiences attending Super Bowl parties and strip clubs, adding a candid and humorous touch to their discussions about the event’s festivities.

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7. Conclusion

Bryan and Chrissy wrap up the episode by reinforcing their disdain for certain technologies and commercials while expressing appreciation for others. They encourage listener engagement through various platforms and tease upcoming content, maintaining the show's signature blend of humor and critical analysis.

• Final Remarks: Bryan jests about his issues with Starlink and bids farewell with sarcasm: “Fuck your Starlink idea. Until next time” (72:16).

• Call to Action: The hosts remind listeners to follow them on social media, subscribe, and engage with the podcast through multiple channels, ensuring continued interaction and community building.

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Notable Quotes

• Bryan on Starlink: “If you use Starlink, God bless you. If you’re listening to me on Starlink, God bless you.” (02:24)

• Chrissy on Mayonnaise: “How do you eat mayonnaise?” (57:39)

• Bryan on AI Commercial: “It is the most inhuman thing that you could think of.” (43:12)

• Bryan on Rocket Mortgage: “It was like, oh, this is cool... very well thought out.” (55:42)

• Chrissy on T-Mobile: “There’s plenty of people that go out to those remote locations and people in other developing countries.” (27:54)

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Conclusion

This episode of The Commercial Break offers an unfiltered and humorous exploration of the Super Bowl's multifaceted spectacle. Bryan and Chrissy's insightful critiques of the game, halftime show, and commercials provide listeners with an entertaining yet critical lens through which to view one of America's most-watched events. Their blend of personal anecdotes and sharp commentary ensures a rich and engaging listening experience, whether you're a sports enthusiast or simply interested in pop culture dynamics.

Transcript

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Where'd you get those shoes?

[Brian Green]

Easy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

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[Brian Green]

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[Chrissy Hoadley]

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[Brian Green]

And welcome back to WSHIT's coverage of sports. And filling in for our normal sports announcer Rod Quackenbush is noted sports expert Brian Green. Let's go to Brian. Now, Brian, what's going on in the sports world? Hello, everyone. Well, the Ball State softball team continued to play this weekend and they were hoping to continue off of their straight three out of four losses. And so we'll take a look and see how that happened. They started off good, but then eventually the Ball State women's team shot down and ended up doing poorly. Oh, no. And okay, we're going to continue on. Now the Ladies Cardinals will play an Iowa tournament starting this Friday before the Ball State baseball team kicks off its conference season this weekend. The Cards will battle in in state rival Indiana tomorrow. Tomorrow's game will be the meeting between the two beating both. Uh, thanks, Brian. We'll take it from here. We'll check on Ryan's man card and then we'll get back to this episode of the commercial break. Oh, no. On this episode of the commercial Break, I will not be signing up for.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

T Mobile's Starlink service. I'm not gonna sign up for T Mob.

[Brian Green]

Sounds like you are mad at you now. We're not friends anymore. The Jurassic Park 17 is coming out with Scarlett Johansson. And I couldn't be less excited if you asked. If you tried to make me less excited about something I couldn't be less excited about. Star Starlink. About your I'm still stuck on it. I'm sorry. If you use Starlink, God bless you. If you're listening to me on Starlink, God bless you. God bless you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this dumb show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. All my friends and family all across the country. I say, hello, how are you doing? And I must also say hello to my friends and family in Philadelphia. May you not kill each other with the five day celebration that will be for the Super Bowl.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, they are the city of Brotherly Love.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'm already reading the City of Brotherly Love tearing the city of Brotherly Love apart currently, right now. Did you know that they canceled school? No.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They did.

[Brian Green]

Philadelphia on Monday, a week before the super bowl even happened.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, wow. They're preparing.

[Brian Green]

They were preparing because they knew that no parent would be in a condition to drive their child to school the very next day. They were getting the DUIs off the street because everyone was going to celebrate well into the night regardless of whether or not they won or they lost. And man, did they. I was just reading all about the shenanigans going on in Philadelphia last night and probably well into the morning as the Philadelphia Eagles won over the Kansas City chefs and the. Excuse me, the Taylor Swift chefs. The Taylor Swift chefs lost to the Eagles in a romp. Chrissy, that really was a romp.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

God. Chiefs had zero going into halftime.

[Brian Green]

They had no fight in them. They had no answer for what the Eagles were throwing at them. The Eagles defense, it looked like they were playing against children. It really did. They sacked Mahomes. 6, 7, 8. I stopped counting after a while.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

6, 7, 8 times, interceptions, all kinds of stuff.

[Brian Green]

This is coming from a guy who does not know the first thing about sports. And I'm telling you what, even I could tell that the Eagles were just superior to the Chiefs. It was embarrassing. I think I even texted that to you at one point.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, it was embarrassing. Shocking. I don't think anybody expected it to go like that.

[Brian Green]

No, I don't think anyone expected it to go like that. It was clearly. I think the Chiefs were favored going into the. Into the game.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Barely. Just a little bit.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they're just a little bit. Okay. So Chrissy, keeping an eye on the MGM bets there. Favor. Just a little bit going into it. They have the experience. They've won two in a row. They beat the Eagles in a Super bowl two years ago. And so you just kind of think, well, they have the upper hand. And they've got Patrick Mahomes, who. Whether or not you like the guy, he's really good at football. He is really good at football. He creates plays out of thin air. He can run the ball, he can pass the ball, he can twirl around. I mean, in the last quarter, there was a few flashes of brilliance from Patrick Mahomes, but that was it. I think they held him to, like, less than 200 yards of off. It's just insane. The numbers were insane.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And. And as I mentioned yesterday on the show, I don't even know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. It just doesn't sound good. No, but it was it. So while the game may have been less than entertaining after the second quarter, everything around the game was to be watched, because that's what the super bowl is. It is a ridiculous television program to entertain 100 million people with lots of commercials, dancing, and other shenanigans and dramatics. Am I right or am I wrong?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was excited about the commercials, and I don't know that, you know, I.

[Brian Green]

Think the early 2000s were really, like, the heyday. We were on the precipice of advertising greatness, and it has all fallen off a cliff since then because I didn't see one commercial, except for the breast cancer commercial that I thought, like, yeah, did the job of making my eyes open a little bit wider. Like, wow, that was a really good commercial. Right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was interesting, too. The. The clients that were in the ads, I didn't expect a lot of those. I was like, they have that much money to advertise in that.

[Brian Green]

Well, you're really shooting your shot. I guess if you're paying $8 million for 60 seconds, you are shooting your shot. Unless you're one of these. Like, we'll go through some of the commercials in the next segment. But I. You know, one of the things that I thought was strange is they told us there was going to be a lot of AI focused commercials. And while there were AI focused commercials, I didn't think they were all that brilliantly done. Like, ChatGPT had a commercial where it's just a bunch of dots made a bunch of pic. It was like the. It was so stup and uninteresting that I don't know what the point was. Why did we do that? Chat GPT. I thought a lot of them were.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like that, where I was like, what? What did that mean?

[Brian Green]

Well, yeah, Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey are in, you know, 12 of the 64 commercials.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A lot.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, okay, we get it. They're buddies. What does it have to do with AI? I'm not really sure. I mean, I think there was some narrative going on there, but I really didn't get it. And then Matthew McConaughey is in every single commercial that they have. Like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, he. Jeep was like a main sponsor of the show.

[Brian Green]

Oh, was.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, they had a big commercial for Jeep where the commentators were.

[Brian Green]

Oh, they did.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Before the game.

[Brian Green]

Oh, okay. Yeah, Jeep. All right. Good for you. Jeep.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So he's the Jeep guy.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Matthew McConaughey is a Jeep guy. Oh, I thought he was a Buick, dude. I thought he's a Lincoln Continental, dude.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He was a Lincoln. You're right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Wasn't he?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Wasn't he driving around that Lincoln saying things like, I keep getting older and they say the same age.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, that's an American Graffiti.

[Brian Green]

But that's in. That's not American Graffiti.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, American graffiti.

[Brian Green]

That's from 1964.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, no, no, wait.

[Brian Green]

What is it?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's the. I loved that movie, too.

[Brian Green]

I'm gonna let you think about it. I'm gonna let you stir it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Fast Times original behind it.

[Brian Green]

It's not Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Do you know it? That's right. Dazed and Confused. One of the great movies of the. Of the 90s, for sure.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Which has an American Graffiti feel.

[Brian Green]

It does. Only American Graffiti was set in the 50s, and this was. Well. But I get what you're saying. I understand. It's like kind of a one night out type of.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You know, riding around in cars, chasing girls and all that other stuff. Okay, I get it. Anyway, I thought that the super bowl was over dramatic and overproduced on behalf of Fox, but that's what Fox does. That's what Fox has been doing since Fox came on air. They just have a certain flair for the dramatic. They do things different than the other networks do. Not good or bad or indifferent. It just is what it is. They had the whole opening with Lady Gaga, which.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I like that.

[Brian Green]

I thought it was touching. I didn't know why we had to have all of the football commentators surround her. Like, you know, I think it would have been more prescient if that would have been police officers or firefighters or people in the military, people that are real heroes. Because the song is about, you know, something. The song was about something. Something sad.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was touching. Well, I think it's from where the truck plowed into.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it was right on Bourbon Street. Yeah, they were doing it right on Bourbon Street. How they got Bourbon street closed like that, I don't know. So Astrid said, you know, oh, that was, you know. Do you think they did that live? And I'm like, fuck, no, they didn't do that live. They probably did that at three in the morning when they could close down Bourbon street. Because I would bet you dollars to donuts that none of those bars would agree to close days or the day of the Super Bow Way. When the Super Bowl's in New Orleans, those people are making handover fist cash on liquor. Unless Fox just paid him a dickload of money. But my interpretation would have been that they probably did that really early in the morning or really late at night and had a crowd show up to do that. It would. Thought it was a little weirdly positioned with all the football commentators, but the song was beautiful and the point was taken and I understood, so I thought, oh, okay. All right. A little shout out. Then they did a God bless America.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Who was that little shorty?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, no, Trombone Shorty.

[Brian Green]

Trombone Shorty.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And then John Batiste.

[Brian Green]

And then Jon Batiste did the great.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love that.

[Brian Green]

He is incredible musician. He is an incredible musician. And then they had Harry Connick Jr come out and he did a little, you know, let's get this party started kind of thing. And I thought all of that was very New Orleans. And I think they did a good job of adding the flavor of New Orleans into the actual production. They then had some very famous college marching bands that came out and did their.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That.

[Brian Green]

Yep. That was a very New Orleans thing to do, too. So I think they did a good job of representing New Orleans. I will say that. Yeah. But just, you know, a touch of the dramatic. Like a touch of the dramatic for Fox. But I get it. That's what Fox does, and that's what Fox needs to do. And let's let us not forget the game is secondary to the entertainment value that it's providing. The point is to keep you hanging around during the commercials. And they have done a good job. The super bowl collectively in the NFL in general, has done a good job of making this a spectacle you much, much watch regardless of who's playing and regardless of what the score is. You have to watch for the commercials.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And the halftime show and the halftime.

[Brian Green]

Show, which was Kendrick Lamar, which I thought was fine. I thought it was good. I know there was a lot of messaging going on in there. I only. And I'm just being honest about this. I only got some of that messaging after I read about it on social media. But Kendrick is great. He's a. Yeah, he's a super entertainer. He's out there in the middle of the Superdome with 12 layers of clothes on in full gloves. I mean, I understand it's a style he's got going on, but that dude was sweating.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You're under those lights and you're wearing, like, that, the two heavy coats and gloves and these big boots. I mean, that must have been. That must have been a lot to go out there and. And shake it like that for a long time.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's around. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But I thought that the super bowl halftime show was fine. It was fine.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I missed that Serena Williams came out at one point. I kind of missed that Serena Williams.

[Brian Green]

Came out at one point.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, she was there. Where was Serena Williams part of the show? Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Really?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She came out.

[Brian Green]

Truly?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Seriously?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. That's what I was reading about. And I was like, I've missed that.

[Brian Green]

I am getting too old. How did my brain just fart and not see Serena Williams? I watched the entire thing pretty intently, and I didn't see Serena Williams. Not once.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Maybe you just didn't recognize her. She was kind of glammed out.

[Brian Green]

Oh, was she glammed out? Doing she one of the dancers?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I can't remember. Again, I missed it, but I read that she was there.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you missed the Kendrick Lam.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, no, no, I saw the whole.

[Brian Green]

Oh, you missed the Serena Williams thing. Gotcha. Yeah, well, I missed it, too, and I was watching pretty intently, so there you go. And then, you know, so I thought, obviously, the super bowl is a very polished performance. They had a lot of celebrities there. They did a good job of showing the celebrities, but not being overly heavy on, you know, showing the celebrities. I think Fox and the NFL in general have probably learned that showing Taylor Swift after every play that Kelsey is involved in is bad news. Trump was there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He was.

[Brian Green]

He admittedly got a rousing applause from the crowd at the Superdome, and then they showed Taylor about 30 minutes later, and she got a rousing boo from the crowd.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, it was predominantly Eagles fans that were there at the.

[Brian Green]

Sounded like it, didn't it? It really was.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it sounded like it. Now, maybe that's because the Chiefs fans have been blessed with two appearances and two wins already, and it's kind of perfunctory at this point, Maybe they didn't show up. Maybe that, like, they were like, oh, we've already, you know, been there, done that. If you're apt. Yeah, if you're apt to go to the. The see the Chiefs win a Super bowl, you probably have already done that. If you have extra $12,000 to drop, you probably went to one of the last two. And so. And when you think of Philadelphia, the Eagles fans do like a good party, and New Orleans is where a good party is, so they're probably getting out of the cold, coming down to the New Orleans, sitting in the soup for a couple of days, and then, you know, going and watching their team absolutely kick the shit out of the Chiefs. I don't think Travis Kelsey had one catch. Did he have one? Maybe at the end there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Maybe one at the end.

[Brian Green]

I think they just like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But it was bad.

[Brian Green]

Patrick Mahomes rendered useless during the game, basically. And then the celebrities that were there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They had Kevin Costner next to Pete Davidson. Kevin Costner was a funny combo.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Honestly, seriously, Pete Davidson, I like. I like Pete Davidson when I have a newfound respect after watching him do stand up, because he was really good at it. He was very funny. And that is not what Pete Davidson is known for. He's not known to be a standup comic. He was really good at it. I thought he was. I thought he did an excellent job. But to see Kevin Costner, first of all, in every commercial talking about freedom in America and we're what, you know, all of us have won together and all this other bullshit. He's just such a cuck. And I don't know Kevin Costner, I'm not a huge fan of right now. But then to see him next to Pete Davidson was an odd couple.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was like, oh, they're together.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Pete Davidson is drugged out, tattooed, you know, kind of stoner character. And Kevin Costner is the opposite of whatever that is. Kevin Costner is the kind of guy that if you borrow $5 from him, he will remember it six years later. Do you know what I'm saying? I just imagine that's who he is.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

Yes. That's how I imagine Kevin Costner. He's got a spreadsheet where you, like, my dad does. You owe me $5. Where's that $5? When do I get the $5? You told me you would have it to me last week. There are two kind of people in this world, let's admit it. They're the kind of people who remember you owe them money. And the kind of people who understand that you borrowed it because you don't have any in the first place, so you're probably not giving it back. And I like the other. I like the second part better than I like the first ones. I'm just sharing that with everybody.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, everybody likes the second.

[Brian Green]

Kevin Costner is the first. He's the guy who remembers you owe him $5. I don't like that. And Pete Davidson is. No shit. The second kind. Not because Pete is irresponsible with cash or doesn't care whether or not you pay him back. He doesn't remember. Okay, That's Pete Davidson. So Pete and Kevin Costner were sitting together. I don't know who was in Taylor's box. I couldn't see who was in Taylor. Some other famous people were in Taylor's box. I think she was sitting with the Kelsey family also. Maybe that was Kelsey's sister.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And, well, Brittany, I'm sure, was in there with her. Mahomes.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Brittany Mahomes. Okay. All right. And then I saw that Paul Rudd was there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, I saw Paul McCartney with Paul McCartney.

[Brian Green]

And Adam Sandler. That's a box where I think I would have enjoyed.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that seemed like a fun box.

[Brian Green]

Adam Sandler, Paul. Paul Rudd, a Chiefs fan. He looked like he was in a lot of dismay. Who were the other celebrities that were there? Who else did we see? Hold on one second. I took notes, actually. I don't know why. I'm just trying to guess. When I took a bunch of notes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Anne Hathaway was there.

[Brian Green]

Oh, Ann Hathaway was there. She's an Eagles fan.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

She.

[Brian Green]

Anne Hathaway is on my list for sure. Yeah, I had Anne Hathaway. That's what I had. Pete Davidson, Kevin Costner, Anne Hathaway, Trump and Taylor Swift. Listen, say what you will about Trump, he seemed to be very well received by that crowd. Very well received. Which has not always been the case. When Trump has been in the building, he has oftentimes been booed.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's the first time a president has ever gone to the Super Bowl.

[Brian Green]

Oh, really?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Is that true? The first time a president has ever gone to the Super Bowl? Huh? Yes, you would think that. What is it, Super Bowl Lix or something? You would think that. After all, it was licks. Oh, yeah, that's right. L I X. X. L I X. L I X. What is that? What does the L stand for? The L stands for? It stands for 50. L I X. So that means one before 10. So 59. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so 59. So you would think that after 59 Super Bowls, there would have been one president who decided to show up. Well, that's taxpayer dollars well spent right there. Shut down the super dough so that Trump can come in and check it out. Listen, I got no problem with Trump showing up at the Super Bowl. It's obviously one of those things that all most Americans.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It is surprising when I read that, that no one else, no other president sitting president has been.

[Brian Green]

It really is. I thought Obama was a big football fan and certainly Bill Clinton. You know, the Super Bowl's got a lot of ladies that show up to it. Ladies of the night. You would think Bill Clinton would have been there to get some action, right? I don't know. Hey, what do I know? I'm just a guy. I've never been to a Super Bowl. I'll never go to a Super Bowl. I don't know. It just seems like not something that I. It's. Of all the sporting events that I could go to, the super bowl is way down on the list.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I've been to parties surrounding the Super Bowl. Like when we. Atlanta had the Super Bowl. When was that? 10 years ago? Something like that?

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've had a couple of.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And I went to some parties around it and it was kind of.

[Brian Green]

You went to like some parties that were like super bowl sanctioned?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That. Yeah, I mean, they were kind of like parties with athletes and around it. Music.

[Brian Green]

Did you go to that Shack thing? Is that what you went to? No. Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The Shack.

[Brian Green]

Shaq puts on a big.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, shack.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He becomes a DJ for.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. He puts on a big superfood.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Something that was over on like Howell Mill, the west side.

[Brian Green]

One of those like one of those warehouse things. Yeah, yeah. And what do you mean by. It was like, eh. It was just like kind of a boring party.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, no, I mean, I'm just not into that. Those kinds of parties where everybody's kind of trying to vie for who's there and who's looking and who. Whatever. I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's like a scene seen and be seen and be seen kind of party. Yeah, that's admittedly not my scene either. Mainly because no one's looking for me. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I think if people were looking for me, then it would be more exciting.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I'm more of a naked hippie in the wood kind of party because no one's looking for me there either. But at least I get to see tits. You know what I'm saying? So that's kind of my. That's more of my scene.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

If there's boobs, then I can, you know, I can appreciate it. I think when the. Not this time when the super bowl happened, but the last time when the super bowl happened, I did go to a couple of the strip clubs here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Days before. Now, the day before the super bowl, we had a big ice storm. So, you know, but it was like a couple of days before, and I went to a few of the strip clubs, and it was. It was lit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hopping.

[Brian Green]

It was lit, slamming, slam packed. Yeah. Atlanta's known for having a lot of great.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Dance halls where you dance naked.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They are.

[Brian Green]

Or they dance naked and you watch them and pay them to dance naked.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

And, yeah, I have no problem with that. Gold Club, baby. The Gold Club.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Do you remember the Gold Club? Of course I do.

[Brian Green]

Pink Pony Club, by the way. Now one of my daughters is singing that fucking Pink Pony Club, you know, at the Pink Pony Club, Chappelle Roan. Now, let me explain. I normally wouldn't have any problem with my daughter singing a Chapel Roan song as long as the lyrics were appropriate. But she's a little girl. She is not even six years old yet. This one. One I'm talking about. She's not even six years old yet. And to anybody who lives in Atlanta, Pink Pony Club takes on a whole different meaning because the Pink Pony Club is the largest strip club in Atlanta. It is extraordinarily famous, and if you've lived in Atlanta long enough, you've been to a Pink Pony club. No doubt about it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's two.

[Brian Green]

There used to be two. They shut one of them down. But I went to the grand opening of that one of that pink of the second one.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think that was the one that we went.

[Brian Green]

We went together. Yes. And I got propositioned by another executive at the company to have sex with him and his wife. Yes. Yes, that's right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Very not cool. Don't sleep with other executives and their wives. Just sharing that with you. Unless they have cocaine, then you can do it. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break. We'll run through the commercials on the Super Bowl. We got lots more to talk about. Thanks for joining us on this episode of the commercial break. We'll be back. Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library audio and video just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsor. And then we'll return to this episode of the Commercial Break. What is Dax? Are you tracking all our cars on Carvana Value Tracker on all our devices? Yes, Kristen, yes I am. While I've been looking for my phone for in Dax's domain, we see all so we always know what our cars are worth. All of them? All of them. Value surge trucks up 3.9%. That's a great offer. I know. Sell.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sell.

[Brian Green]

Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker. Today, college holds a mythic place in American culture. It's often considered the best four years of your life and hailed as a beacon of integrity and excellence. But beyond the polished campus tours, there are stories you won't find in the admissions pamphlets. The higher ups are concerned about one thing, and that is avoiding scandal. It's no wonder that college campuses capture the nation's attention, especially in moments of upheaval. I'm Margo Gray. Each week on the Campus Files podcast, we bring you a new story.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was the biggest academic scandal in.

[Brian Green]

The history of college sports and probably.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

In the history of academia.

[Brian Green]

On Campus Files, we cover everything from rigged admissions to the drama of Greek life. A chancellor having a pornographic double life is an extremely rare case. Listen to and follow Campus Files, an Odysey original podcast, available now on the free Odysey app. And wherever you get your podcasts this cold and flu season, Instacart is here to help deliver all your sick day essentials. Whether you're in prevention mode and need vitamins, hand Sanitizer and that lemon tea your nana swears by, or you're in healing mode and need medicine, soup, and a lot more tissues. Simply download the Instacart app to get sick day supplies that reinvigorate or relieve. Delivered in as fast as 30 minutes. Plus enjoy. Zero delivery fees on your first three orders. Excludes restaurant orders, service fees and terms apply. All right, let's talk about the most important thing regarding the super bowl, which is, of course, the commercials. Doesn't matter who's playing any given year. By the way, I. I had no dog in this fight. Like, I am not a fan of the Chiefs. I am not a fan of the Eagles. I don't really care either way. But my kids got excited about the Chiefs because they like their ketchup and mustard colored uniforms. Right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Somebody else mentioned the colors were better.

[Brian Green]

I know I did.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I kind of like green.

[Brian Green]

We all know when one of my kids said ketchup and mustard, I was like, oh, that's true. It is ketchup and mustard. Anyway, so they like the ketchup and mustard. And then, you know, the girls like Taylor, so of course they're going to vote. You know, they're going to run with that. So I will say I had no dog in the fight, but I thought, okay, I'll root for the Chiefs. Why not see them three peat? That'd be cool, I guess, you know, see some history. Yeah, a little. You know, those numbers are broke, records are broken all the time. It's part of what makes sports interesting is when you can, you know, go ahead and break a record or do something interesting, get 5,000 yards in one game. But I quickly became an Eagles fan. Like within a quarter, I thought to myself, wow, these guys are playing superior football. And for a guy who doesn't know the first thing about football, I thought, yeah, this is cool. I like to see this. I like to see someone just dominate. Picking people apart, picking a team apart, that was really good football played by the Eagles. So I will say I. By the end of the first quarter, I was like, okay, go Eagles. Yeah, why not?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was definitely a revenge win.

[Brian Green]

That's right. So let's talk about the most important commercials of the day. Because of course, the most important thing is the commercial breaks. Right, Chrissy?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

There you go. T mobile has decided that they are going to hook up with another big cuck, Elon Musk. The guy's single handedly destroying our earth right now. Elon Musk. They're gonna hook up with him and do some Starlink thing where you could get phone coverage anywhere. There is not a place where I travel that I need that kind of coverage. If you're looking to get me on the top of Mount Everest, that's not going to happen. I do not go in the middle of the Sahara desert. I am not camping out in Yosemite. I am not in the great wilds of Alaska or Canada, the great northern Canada. I am not any of those places where I would need Starlink coverage.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

A way to think about just yourself.

[Brian Green]

Well, hey, no one. I mean, and who is. Does Verizon not cover most of it?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There's plenty of people that go out to those remote locations and people in other developing countries. So Starlink itself, I think is probably a good thing.

[Brian Green]

I don't think so. I don't think so. And I'll explain why. Okay, you are fucking up the one place close to Earth that we have not fucked up yet, which is our near Earth atmosphere. You are stuffing it full of little flying machines that, by the way, are coming down out of the sky all the time.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There was like a lot of space junk.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, there's a lot of space junk. And we're just creating more space junk, which is going to make it harder and harder to fly into space, harder and harder to see our own stars, harder and harder to, you know, navigate all these other things. We. This is like one huge experiment that no one knows what's going to happen. And now there are tens of thousands of those things flying in the sky. I have seen them with my own eyes. Yeah, it is rather disturbing because they are not stars. They are just little satellites providing Internet to people in the Sahara desert, I guess. Listen, I understand. I agree with you. In developing countries where you don't have Internet access, I can understand how Starlink could be beneficial, But I think you could probably do that for developing countries with far fewer pieces of space junk flying through there. I just don't agree with, like, filling our sky with a bunch of junk and hoping that everything turns out okay. I think we should have been a little bit more careful about deciding to allow somebody just to throw tens of thousands of satellites in near Earth orbit and hopefully that everything's going to go okay. That's my personal opinion, you know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, you can have it. You don't want to go to space?

[Brian Green]

What's that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You don't want to go to space, do you? Well, now.

[Brian Green]

Want to go to space. I'd like my children to be able to look in the sky without seeing Elon Musk's name written in there by a bunch of drones. That's what I'd like. Is that okay?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Okay. Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You're very strongly opinionated.

[Brian Green]

Yes. It's not about Elon Musk. This is about space. This is about then, hey, I'm an Elon Musk fan.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But I think it does have some benefits.

[Brian Green]

Okay, well, I disagree. And I think that we could probably take that same amount of money and just give connectivity to places on Earth that don't have connectivity. That's it. In the regular way that we do it here. You know, the regular. The way that it's been done for a long time. And it doesn't. That.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What about in the case of natural disasters, though, like the huge hurricane that hit up in Asheville? No one had Internet. And that's.

[Brian Green]

You can position a satellite.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's the way they were able to connect to people.

[Brian Green]

You can position one satellite for connectivity or two satel satellites for connectivity. If I can get SiriusXM in my car anywhere I go, and they have two satellites or three satellites, I think the. I think you could. And I. And I am not an expert on connectivity, but I think you could probably do the same thing with far less space junk. I don't understand how many.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Do you know how many satellites they have out there?

[Brian Green]

There's like. I can tell you because there's a website, Starlink tracker. Hold on one second. I can tell you this. There are. They're currently tracking about 7,000 of them. Look at that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Seem like a lot.

[Brian Green]

Look at that. Those. Every single one of those is a satellite.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That's insane. That's insane. It covers every inch of the Earth.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. You're just saying more regulations around it.

[Brian Green]

More regulations. And then maybe we could accomplish the same thing without so many tiny little satellites and I don't know, but maybe we could. And in the case of natural disaster. I totally understand. But do you know, you know this because Jeff does this. When Jeff has a concert and there's going to be 20,000 of his closest friends are going to show up over there in Memphis, right?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And he knows that that's going to be a problem when everybody's trying to call out and share pictures with their friends and post on Instagram, Jeff says, I need those people to post on Instagram to get the word out about Mempho. So you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to call Verizon or AT&T and I'm going to let them know we're having this party and they're going to show up with a big truck.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, that's true.

[Brian Green]

And a big poll. And on that poll is going to be some receivers and it's going to allow more people to use their phone inside of that venue. No muss, no fuss.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Can Verizon or, or Elon or whoever show up with one of those anytime there's a natural disaster? Could we do that also?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Let's look into it.

[Brian Green]

Thank you. I will not be signing up for T Mobile's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I'm not. I'm not going to sign up for.

[Brian Green]

T. Sounds like you are mad at you now. We're not friends anymore. The Jurassic Park 17 is coming out with Scarlett Johansson and I couldn't be less excited if you asked. If you tried to make me less excited about something, I couldn't be less excited about. Star. Starlink, about your. I'm still stuck on it. I'm sorry. If you use starlink. God bless you. If you're listening to me on Starlink. God bless you. God bless you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, thank you for listening.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I just have a problem with the space junk, but that's, you know, neither here nor there. I think the technology is amazing, but SiriusX does the same thing with three satellites or two satellites, whatever it is. Jurassic Park 17 is coming out. I thought that that was a very anticlimactic commercial because how many times can we visit the same island and get the same goddamn dinosaurs chase us around?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And why are we going back to the island?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Stop.

[Brian Green]

Just let them die over there. What are we doing? Why are we going back? Since the first Dum Dum had that idea to make a Disney World out of Jurassic park, which by the way, was an excellent movie and an excellent book. Jurassic park one.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, one was the best one.

[Brian Green]

We stop at one. We don't need any more Jurassic Parks. You have to squeeze the ever loving shit out of every fucking ip. I swear on all that's holy, no one is asking for Jurassic Park 7. No one. Do you know anybody in your personal life that is texting you, hey, when are they gonna make another Jurassic Park?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, but that's what Hollywood does. They just keep redoing things and spitting things out.

[Brian Green]

And I feel bad for Scarlett Johansson because I have a feeling that people are done with Jurassic park. And the poor girl probably got paid a fucking armored truck full of cash, probably showed up at her house to be in that movie. And it's probably not gonna do very well because it's the Same movie that we've been seeing since Jurassic park one. They go to the island for some inexplicable reason, and then for some explicable reason, the dinosaurs want to kill them because they're dinosaurs. Fuckers. Then of course, the super bowl started in the first 30, you know, the first commercial, 30 second commercials. Sean Hannity had to make sure that you, you know, know that he's on Fox News.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There are a lot of Fox commercials, obviously, I guess, because it's was playing on Fox.

[Brian Green]

But listen, if it was on NBC, they would be showing, they were showing Lester Holt and they would be talking about Rachel Maddow or whatever. They would have some kind of commercial to drive people to their properties. That's what they do. Ain't got no problem with that. That's obviously part of the game, no pun intended. But that Sean Hannity commercial where he's like staring at the mirror at the other, you know, news anchor and they're like, you know, oh, get ready to beat him in America and freedom. It's just weird. Yeah, it's weird. And it's over. Dramatic. Couldn't they have just shown like the. A clip from the Sean Hannity show and said, Sean Hannity, 9 o'clock on Fox, you know, like any other normal person. Why you got to be all weird about it? Fox. Anyway, I move on. There was the Ritz commercial with. What's that guy's name? Shannon. Michael Shannon. Do you know Michael Shannon?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes. Yeah, I didn't see the Ritz commercial, though.

[Brian Green]

It was a Ritz cracker commercial and Salt BAE was on it. So the whole premise was salty people. So there was Michael Shannon, who is obviously known to have a very sour face, and then the Aubrey Plaza, who also has a very sour face known as a kind of like, you know, resting bitch face. Both of them have. And then they were talking, you know, they were being miserable, essentially. Why are Ritz crackers so good? Why do they have to be so salty and buttery? When I smile, people think I'm breaking mirrors. Whatever. He was saying something kind of an unfunny punchline. And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Salt BAE shows up and it's like, Salt bae, we really have. We really paying Salt BAE to do a commercial. I would be happy to do a Ritz cracker commercial because I like Ritz crackers. Salt BAE is just a dude who throws salt on meat. Why is he a thing and why is he in a Super bowl commercial? Fuckers Yeezy got teeth.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. That was strange.

[Brian Green]

Can we all.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That was really strange. However, Jeff and I were talking about it later that night about it, and he garnered like 19 million in sales last night. Yes. From that commercial.

[Brian Green]

No shit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

He got $19 million in sales. He paid $8 million for the commercial.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I guess it was worth it, too.

[Brian Green]

I guess that's a plus.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was a very strange commercial.

[Brian Green]

Well, he did this last year, too, or a couple years ago, too. He spent all the money on the commercial. And so he just made a commercial with his iPhone where he was sitting in a dental chair getting his new teeth and obviously maybe had had some laughing gas or something because he seemed like he was kind of twisted up and he was like, Yeezy.com? yeah, it was a little weird. I understand the point. I get it. It's supposed to be a weird, out of place commercial. And then you're supposed to go to yeezy.com and buy some Yeezy clothes. I'm wearing my Yeezy. I'm wearing my Yeezy sweater, by the way. Listen, I don't. Elon Musk on Super Bowl Sunday limited Yeezy's account. He put a not safe for work stamp on it, which means then it then won't show up in everybody's algorithm because even Elon Musk. Think about this. When Elon Musk thinks you're going crazy, you have done something. Yes, he is just right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Very true.

[Brian Green]

It's a screed. And that screed is anti Semitic, racist, homophobic, transphobic. It just goes on and on and on and on and on. And I understand he's trolling us, but it's like, I don't know that the joke is funny anymore. So like his music or don't like his music.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, did you see that Bianca put out something in response to Yeezy?

[Brian Green]

Oh, she didn't?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, she was like, lord, bless my husband. We're. You know, and bless the Jewish people. It was. It was a thing.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she like, retorted. Yeah, she like, apologized for her husband, basically. I wonder how Yeezy feels about that. That must be a weird relationship to be in. It has to be just to be f. Fly on the wall. Chrissy and Jeff on naked cooking days. Yeezy and Bianca on any Cheesecake Factory dinner night, dinner date. That's it. That's what I want to see. Mountain Dew with seal.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The seal is a seal.

[Brian Green]

Listen. Weird. Very strange. Seal was a seal and he was singing about Mountain Dew. And I was, you know, like, I Could be a kiss from a Mountain Dew. My flippers won't hold a Mountain Dew. Like a weirdo.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Everybody's split on it. But I thought it was funny.

[Brian Green]

I thought it was funny. I thought it was funny. Good job, Mountain Deere. I thought it was funny.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's pretty funny to have seal as.

[Brian Green]

A seal in a sea of not funny commercials. You at least got a giggle out of me because it was weird to.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

See seal as a seal.

[Brian Green]

It was so fucked up that in the. What was it? The Amazon commercial or Netflix commercial with the kid who grew a hat on his head. Oh, yeah. That made me sick to my stomach. I felt kind of.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What about the Kong one?

[Brian Green]

Oh, the whipped cream? Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That was so weird.

[Brian Green]

Yes. I thought to myself, we just talked about how whip it has a whole secondary industry. Killing your children with laughing cats. And they had a commercial where the tongue came out of the mouth. I know those two commercials. I don't know. I don't like when, like those CGI drawings of. It's just weird to me. There's a lot of this AI running around where they make the skin and the head and the bones do different things. It makes me feel a little queasy. I couldn't even watch that commercial. And then they had, like, four parts to it. So that kid with the head hat just kept on showing up. It was a little strange. Yes. WeatherTech had one of the best commercials of the night.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, they did.

[Brian Green]

Weathertech, the floor mat company?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's the one. That was one of the ones that I was like, they've got the money to do that? Okay.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they've got. I don't. Hey, listen, I didn't know that floor mats were so in demand. But, you know, everybody. A third person in this country owns a pickup truck. And by the way, they're needed. True. Someone wrote this one time, and I think it was 70%. 70% of pickup truck owners report never using the bed of their truck. It's like, why do you have a pickup truck if you don't have. Anyway, so I think that's what's going on. It's a lot of pickup trucks getting weather tech. I don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That was a great commercial.

[Brian Green]

It was a great commercial for women.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That got in a convertible. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So they're driving down the highway, going real slow, and then they show up. Then they're doing like, you know, beach volleyball or something. Then they're playing bingo, and one of the ladies, and she flashes the big. She's in there, like, 80s or something. It was cute and it was well done.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Good job, weather tech. I'm not going to buy your stuff, but.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

Just because I don't need it. Like, I don't own a pickup truck. So let's see. Instacart did, I think, like, the best nod to our generation, the Gen X people who grew up with a certain type of mascot in almost every one of the food commercials. Like the Kool Aid. What is his name?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, what's the Kool Aid name, guy?

[Brian Green]

It's the Kool Aid Man. Yeah, Kool Aid Man. All right. Okay. Kool aid man.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Mr. Clean.

[Brian Green]

Mr. Clean. The green Giant.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Giant.

[Brian Green]

The Green Giant. Tony the Tiger, I think was in there. So all of those. When we were kids and we saw commercials on Saturday morning TV trying to get us to tell our parents to go buy them something, they would put a mascot, like a practical effect mascot or a cartoon mascot, like Tony the Tiger or Green Bean Ryan or whatever his name is. And those would be the commercials we would watch over and over again for years in the 80s and 90s. And so what they did is they put them all together in one commercial for Instacart. And I thought that was really well done. I liked it. Even though it was only like 30 seconds long. I thought, oh, that was cool. Snoop Dogg and Tom Brady kept on telling us to, you know, stand down, be peaceful.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's right.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Thanks. Thanks, Snoop. Thanks, Snoop. That's all I got to say about that. Disappointed in my boy Snoop. We already talked about this, but Matthew McConaughey was in every third commercial, and I guess this is his big money making opportunity. Yeah, I don't know if there wasn't.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

One that was good.

[Brian Green]

What was the Uber Eats commercial?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

Where he was putting together a conspiracy, where he was saying that the super bowl and football in general was just a conspiracy to get us to eat more food.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Because the super, you know, and then he was talking about all the food related terms that are used in football and how the NFL since the beginning has been doing nothing but getting us. Getting us to buy more food. And that was an Uber Eats commercial. And who else was in it? The lady who directed Barbie.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, right.

[Brian Green]

Oh, right, yeah, exactly. Greta. Oh, Greta. Oh, my God. Greta Gerwig. Greta Gerwig was in that commercial, too. I thought that was an interesting commercial. It was cute, you know, it was fine. Google AI was the creepiest commercial of the night and the most hypocritical commercial of the night. And I'll explain why. Chrissy, if you don't mind, first here for a second.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Go for it.

[Brian Green]

It's. It was a commercial where a guy is talking into his phone and obviously practicing for an interview for a job. Guy probably my age, in his 40s, right, practicing to do an interview. And so he's asking AI, you know, and AI is asking him questions, and he's asking questions back and forth and they're prepping for this interview and all of the answers that he's giving. So the AI asks, what is the hardest job you've ever had? And as he's answering those questions, very business like, what he's actually talking about is being a father. So they are intertwining images of him as his children are growing up, doing various things, right? So meant to tug at your heartstrings, but this thing that you're talking to is actually going to take your fucking job away. It is the most inhuman thing that you could think of. It is a little bit dangerous, a bit scary, and I understand. It's cool and fun right now to play with. And yeah, maybe it can prep you for your next interview. But then what happens when it takes your job, asshole. Yes, Google AI is the least emotional thing that I could think of. It's literally a computer that's spitting out things back at you. It's like mirroring humanity in a weird human voice. And then they try and like, tie it into the emotionality of raising children. We won't be able to raise our children if AI takes all of this shit away from us.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh God, let's not go down that road again. I had an anxiety attack the other day after we did the whole thing with the Robot and the AI combined.

[Brian Green]

WA. Bam. Take $8 million in a Google Pixel phone and wha bam. Sorry about your job. Wha bam. Your children can't eat because you don't have any work. Wha. Bam. Yep, I did have a panic attack after that episode also. So much so that I'm not running that episode. I don't think I want to give everybody else a panic attack. I think I'm putting that in the can. I really do. I listen to it again. And first of all, it's just you and I, by the way, we did an episode. We reviewed the most advanced robot that is currently out there, and it was about as creepy as you would expect. It's got advanced AI as well as facial movements and all this other stuff. And we reviewed it and it was really just Chrissy and I going disturbing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Shit.

[Brian Green]

Shit. Yeah, it's just us having an anxiety attack live on air. Okay, one more, and then we'll take a break. Like, I thought that Rocket Mortgage did one of the better commercials of the night. As they took John Denver's Take Me Home, Country Roads, they had that song tied to, you know, people doing everyday things, crying, laughing, getting hurt, helping each other, you know, raising children. So at first I thought, oh, this is a West Virginia commercial.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, me too.

[Brian Green]

Come home to West Virginia.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

But what it was was, come home to Rocket Mortgage will buy you a house. So they play this song. You're singing it along in your head. You're like, take me home, country roads. It's like a cover of the John Denver song being sung by a choir. And so the commercial is very nice. It tugs at your heartstrings, the whole nine yards. Cut the commercial, and then it's playing the John Denver version of the song in the Superdome, and they are showing people in the crowd singing along to it, like, holding, you know, they're like, have their arms around each other. So the entire, you know, the Superdome is essentially singing the same song, just like you were when the commercial was. And it was like a touching moment. I thought, like, oh, well done, Rocket Morris. Well done. Good coordination. Well done, you know, well thought out. And it worked to the effect that everybody was singing the song and having a moment together. All right, we'll take a break. We come back, we'll talk more. Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, text or call us 212-4333, tcb. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercialbreak and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome. As a parent, you always want to set your child up for success. So when they're struggling in school or they need help with homework, you try your best to step up. But sometimes you might not be equipped to answer. And it's better to leave that to the experts. From IXL Learning. IXL Learning is an online learning program for kids. It covers math, language arts, science, and social studies. IXL can help your child really understand and master topics in a fun way with positive feedback powered by advanced algorithms, IXL gives the right help to each kid, no matter the age of personality and when you sign up, one subscription gets you everything you need for all the kids in your home from Pre K to 12th grade. IXL is used in 95 of the top 100 school districts in the US with 1 in 4 students across the country using the program. So don't wait any longer. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixcellearning.com audio Visit IXL excelelearning.com audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed Stop struggling to get your job post seen on other job sites. Indeed Sponsored Jobs help you stand out and hire fast. With Sponsored Jobs, your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster and it makes a huge difference. According to Indeed data, Sponsored Jobs posted directly on Indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Plus with Indeed sponsored Jobs, there are no monthly subscriptions, no long term contracts, and you only pay for results. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more [e-mail] listen just go to indeed.com listen right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com listen terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. Okay, back here reviewing some of the super bowl commercials on a Super Bowl Wednesday. Wednesday after Super Bowl.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hey, you heard it here last.

[Brian Green]

Hey, you heard it here last. Why not? So we talked about the Rocket mortgage. Okay, now let's talk about the most hypocritical commercial of the night besides the Google AI bullshit. Yes, the Personal Jesus Jesus commercial. Holy shit, did they get this so fucking wrong. I know in every way, shape or form. Johnny Cash covered Personal Jesus on his last album where he did all cover tunes that was produced by Rick Rubin to great effect.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, it was a great album.

[Brian Green]

It was an incredible album. The song Hurt by Nine Inch Nails being sung by Johnny Cash is one of my opinion in the top 25 songs of all time. It is an incredibly emotional and moving version of that song sung by an incredibly moved and emotional Johnny Cash, prodded by Rick Rubin to almost cry during the song. And you can hear it in his voice. It's amazing. But he also did a cover of Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode, Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode is a song talking about television evangelists and the people who give money to them. And it is a song essentially making fun of those people. Right? It's a, it's like a. It's a satire is what it is. So in their infinite wisdom, whoever they are, the people who every year now put together a minute long commercial about Jesus and going to this website to learn more about Jesus Christ, think what you will about Jesus Christ, but even Jesus Christ would have known that Personal Jesus is not about him. It's about the idiots who are taking your money in the name of faith and religion. And the crazy part is that no.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

One in the organization, yeah, no one on the team, no one in the.

[Brian Green]

Marketing agency that they probably paid $2 million to to make that commercial. No one was wise enough to research what the meaning of the fucking song Personal Jesus was. Because Depeche Mode, I can guarantee you, did not mean to put it in a Jesus commercial. And where is Depeche Mode on all of this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's a good question.

[Brian Green]

Who said yes to this?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They're laughing while they collect that check. They're probably like, yeah, go ahead and use it.

[Brian Green]

Well, let's be real about it too. They probably don't own the rights to the song. Right. It's probably owned by, you know, whatever BMG or Universal Music Group or some hedge fund somewhere. Scooter von Braun or whatever his name is. Scooter. Scooter probably owns it and sold it. But yeah, Depeche Mode got a big check for, you know, using their song in that commercial. But it was just like, at first I thought, oh, this is cool. It's showing people who are in some kind of distress being helped by somebody who is not in distress. So a police officer, a firefighter, a neighbor, someone random on the street. They're like pulling them out of a car after a car accident, you know, talking to them while their house is burning down or whatever. It's just showing people in distress, these very beautiful black and white photographs mostly, and it's just a series of them as this cover of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus is playing in the background. And at first I thought, okay, this is a really effective commercial. But as I got about 15 seconds in, I started to think, there's no way this is about Jesus.com, is it? Yes, there's no way this is the Jesus.com commercial. And it was Fail in every sense of the word. Besides the beautiful photography. Fail in every sense of the word. Fail. In the use of a cover song, fail in the meaning of the song, fail in the intent of the commercial, and fail to anyone who ever heard that Depeche Mode song and understood what it meant, we were all going, what? Really?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Honestly, I don't think they know what that song really means.

[Brian Green]

They had no idea. Do you think that there's somebody getting fired this morning for somebody? Because there must be a ton of people. I didn't see it, but there must be a ton of people on who are like, what the fuck is that all about? Tom Brady played a robot in a Duracell commercial. And I think that could not be more true. Best use of actual robots in a commercial. Tom Brady. Tom Brady. He is so stiff. He is not. People have been ridiculing Tom this entire year over his announcing abilities. And I also know that it. Listen, I've done 700 episodes of this show, a lot, probably 800 hours of the show. And I'm not the best announcer on the microphone. I think I know what I'm doing in the studio, but I also know that it takes a long time to sharpen those edges.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And I'm still umming and awing all the way through the show, so I get it. But Tom Brady, yesterday, he must have said five times, four minutes and 13 seconds left in the game when it was like the second quarter. When asked, what did the Chiefs do now? Tom was like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He was making, like, inside jokes. That Kevin Hart, which is another celebrity that was there, by the way, he was just. He was kind of all over the place. And I didn't really care for his announcing style. I didn't really understand a lot of what he was saying. I don't think he was lending. Besides the fact that he has been in many Super Bowls and has the ability to put himself in Patrick Mahomes shoes, you know, you're down by a lot. What do you do? But he used none of that wisdom during the actual super bowl that he was getting paid to talk about that exact stuff. He just didn't do it. Tom Brady is a robot. He's a robot. He needed batteries. That's all I got to say. So I thought that was a well done commercial.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Because I could easily see Tom Brady's robot. No knock on Tom. He seems like a nice enough guy. Tom Brady does, you know, Seems like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He'S not my cup of tea.

[Brian Green]

He seems a little skinny. Like, I think Tom could have a burger or something. Doesn't he seem a little skinny? Did he look a little gaunt to you? I'm just saying that. Okay. And so chat. GPT Dots. We already talked about that. The whipped cream tongues didn't have. Have any. Didn't have any. Care for tongues flying out of people's mouth.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Everybody at my house was like, oh, yes.

[Brian Green]

NFL did a commercial, as they always do, trying to let us know just how much good they do in the world. And they had a commercial which I referred to as the I am somebody commercial. So it was a bunch of coaches sitting around talking to various kids of different ages. And they were cutting back and forth to these coaches, giving these pep talks. And some of these kids were able bodied and some of them were disabled. And it brought me to tears, actually. I was like, wow. And they kept on screaming, I am somebody. I am somebody. I am somebody. And you know, it was a tear jerker. And then it was like, NFL, doing your community proud. Yeah, right. Okay, Got it. Billion dollar industry that can't even take care of its own players. I got it. You're doing great in our. You're doing great work in our society. Thanks. Appreciate it. The much ballyhooed Hellman's commercial with Melanie Griffin and Billy Crystal doing the mayonnaise going back to the Harry, Harry met Sally orgasm scene.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Are we to believe that Hellman's mayonnaise, which is not even the best mayonnaise, is really causing Melanie favorite mayonnaise? Is it your favorite mayonnaise? You don't like Dukes? Oh, Chrissy. What is the problem?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It's a divide.

[Brian Green]

It is a divide between real mayonnaise and other shit. I did too. And then I tried Duke's and I never went back. I mean, not that I never went back. It's not. I will eat Hellman's mayonnaise if it's that. If it's there. Right? If it's the only mayonnaise.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

How do you eat mayonnaise?

[Brian Green]

What's that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

How often do you eat mayonnaise?

[Brian Green]

Depends on if my OCD has me in a mayonnaise cycle. Right, that's true.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's true.

[Brian Green]

Sometimes I eat a lot of mayonnaise. Sometimes I don't eat any mayonnaise. I'm not currently in a mayonnaise phase, but I could be back at it at the moment. Yeah, I've cycled it out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I want notice when you go back into the mayonnaise phase.

[Brian Green]

Well, you'll know. Just check my refrigerator. You'll know. There'll be two of them. Sitting there. I can't. I got backups everywhere. Okay, so besides disagreeing on Mayonnaise, I will say this. I just didn't find that commercial to be funny, engaging, or at all. And I understand you're not going to believe that someone's having an orphanage orgasm over Mayonnaise. Billy Crystal tried his best to deliver the lines, but it was just such a trope. It felt like, oh, you're Hellman's. You could have done better than that. And Billy, I. Well, I guess if someone paid me a hundred thousand dollars to show up for 30 seconds on set, I also would do that. But I just thought it was kind of a weird commercial that didn't make any sense. Pringles had a great commercial with the mustaches flying around. I thought that was well done. Good job, Pringles. A couple points for originality. The mustaches came off the guys and came off the Pringles. You know, the Pringle guy with the mustache came off and was flying around, and then they flew right into a. Like a skyscraper window, like a bird would. And then fell down. It was really funny, actually. The Bud Light commercial.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The old Clydesdales, you got to have them.

[Brian Green]

No, I'm talking about the other one. That was Budweiser. Yeah, the Clydesdales.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They have to make an appearance at every Super Bowl.

[Brian Green]

I love the Clydesdale. It's an American tradition. I thought this was one of the weaker commercials. They have had so many good commercials with the Clydesdales.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They have spoiled.

[Brian Green]

Like the Clydesdale with the puppy. The Clydesdale, you know, going and delivering beer in the big truck. You know, like these emotional moments that you have. And this connection with the Clydesdales, which, by the way, I've seen those Clydesdales. When I went to Denver to the Budweiser plants, I saw those Clydesdale. They are as big as this house. They are incredibly big and beautiful. And you don't want anything to do with them because.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Majestic.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, they are very majestic. So you. I just look forward to that commercial because I always know you get a little tear jerk out of that one. But this one, not so much. It was like rolling a keg to some guy in a bar. And I didn't. I didn't get it. I didn't understand it. But I was talking about the Bud Light commercial where they had Peyton. No, he was doing something. Yeah, Payne, Matt and Peyton Manning, Shane Gillis. Who else was in it? Oh, Post Malone.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, right.

[Brian Green]

So all of them were in the backyard, and Shane Gillis was trying to Keep Peyton Manning from, you know, the neighbors calling the cops or what. They have a big party. Essentially a big cookout is what was going on. So I guess we've all made up with Bud Light now. Yes, I guess that's the point. That's the point of it. We've all made up with Bud Light. It's okay to drink Bud Light again. So fine. It was a fine commercial. It was, you know, interesting. Cute spruce. Who let the dogs out. The Bill Murray email commercial I already talked about, you know, Bill Murray gave his email address and I don't know what was going on there. You can do it. Do it yourself. Bill [e-mail]. email it. They are going to spam you. Just letting you know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I was going to say. Can you just forward me what you got?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'll show you a picture of it. It's a long, convoluted email with bad spelling and weird hyphenation and very strange. Did you watch the video? I did. I watched the video.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I did not.

[Brian Green]

You didn't? No, because it was. I was already 20 minutes in. I'm like. Is like what's actually happening here? Yeah. It takes a long time to read the email. The story is. It makes no sense. Bill Murray woke up one morning and he was a dog in the mirror.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Huge fan. Didn't get it.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I didn't get it either. Huge fan to the point where Chrissy and I actually went and saw him singing terribly at a concert with his blood brothers. Of course, the Meta had to make an appearance. And of course Meta hired the Kardashians to do. Or a Kardashian. The mom. Well, she's not even a Kardashian. She's a Jenner, but hired her to talk about how wonderful the Ray Ban Meta sunglasses were gonna be forever. Fuck you. Fuck Mark Zuckerberg. Fuck you, Kardashian. Fuck it. Fuck it all. Don't. Please don't give Cuckerberg any more ammunition. Don't. Just don't. He has ruined so much of society and now we're all going to play along as people get to wear glasses that are recording every bit of humanity.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What do you do with glasses?

[Brian Green]

I don't know. Then it shows you that you know you. Searches things for you and it shows you the world around you. Could we. Could we separate ourselves anymore from the human experience? I'm being serious. I could see how this is cool. I understand. It's cool. But Ray Ban and Meta getting together to do the Metaglass. Fine, whatever. But don't take that money. Don't. I'm. That's the one. There are a couple of these, like, jesus.com or whatever it was. Wouldn't take their money. Meta wouldn't take their money. AI probably not going to take their money. And they do have a lot of money, though, so maybe it might be a little. Okay, and AI, I take their money. But Meta, I'm not taking their money. Fuck Meta. And then to see a Kardashian in there, it's like, wow, there you go. Two peas in a pod right there. Two people ruined society. Mark and Kris Jenner, Kevin Costner. Who cares? Megan, too. Why are we. Why is this movie such a big deal? It's all over the place.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It is all over the place.

[Brian Green]

Why is this movie such a big deal?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I don't know.

[Brian Green]

Why do we care? Did we see Megan one? It's about a dancing robot that kills people, I think. Is that what it is? Now my kids are excited to see it. Like, they saw the commercial and they're like, oh, Daddy, I want to see Megan 2. I'm like, Megan 2? What are you talking about? Megan? It's like a murdering robot, isn't it? Isn't that what it's about?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Have you seen Megan one?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I didn't watch it. It's a horror movie. It's amica gone wrong.

[Brian Green]

Oh, it is? Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Don't watch it.

[Brian Green]

I'm not gonna watch it. I'm already having a panic attack. Lay's did a. I thought a nice commercial where they had a girl who was growing a potato plant and then she took her potato and sent it to the lay's factory, which, you know, that happens.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Lay's just had a big recall, though.

[Brian Green]

I know a bunch of their chips are killing people. That may have been why they did the commercial.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Because they gotta get back on the wagon and get in your belly. Homes.com must be spending a ton of money on celebrities because they had Morgan Freeman in their commercial. I can only imagine that he must be one of the more expensive voices to get in your commercial, because everyone wants Morgan Freeman's voice, right? So he was in a Homes.com commercial. And I just noticed that Homes.com has a lot of commercials right now. They are really hitting the marketing very, very hard.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They're competing with Zillow.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, Zillow and reloader.com. so I think they're really just trying to kind of, I don't know, smother the market.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Your brain.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Get into Your brain. Although I don't know if I've ever been to homes.com. have you been?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I have.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Is it like Zillow? Is that what it is? Okay. All right. Hymns and hers. Let's talk about this for a second. And how just terribly positioned this commercial was for a lot of different reasons. Reasons. First of all, IMs and hers shows talks about the conspiracy on behalf of the medical industry to keep people sick and overweight. Talks about how many Americans are overweight. It shows pictures of regular, average Americans, most of which are overweight in the commercial. And it talks about how the medical industry wants to keep us sick so that they can sell us medicine and keep us coming back. To then be a commercial about a medical company that sells medications to keep us coming back. Yeah, it was unbelievably tone deaf. Unbelievably tone deaf. And it shows. It was also talking about the unrealistic expectations set upon us on the media for our body types and body expectations and, you know, body image and all this other stuff. It's shown now here.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Lose weight with us.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Now lose weight with our medications. Not the other guy's medications. Lose with our medications. It's the same fucking thing. You're part. You're the same cog in the wheel. I don't understand why you're trying to convince us otherwise. Incredibly tone deaf. I have nothing against hims or hers. I don't know who they are. I don't know what they do. I guess they sell GLP ones as.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well as, like, erectile dysfunction stuff and hair replacement.

[Brian Green]

Oh, call me. I'll do a sponsorship for you anyway, you know. Okay, great. And then they're trying to tell us that there's unrealistic expectations about body image. I agree. No doubt about it. The camera's for me. Excuse me while I take one second to talk inside of the studio. Thank you very much. I have no doubt about it that this is all true. That in fact, the medical system has kind of turned itself backwards. I don't think it's a conspiracy, but I think that it's just the way that it is to sell you the medications and not fix the problem because that's where the money is. Like Chris Rock said. Said, it's on the comeback. It's not on one sale. It's on keeping you coming back. And I understand that I'm not dumb enough, but does Hims and hers understand that they are part of that process?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Subscription service.

[Brian Green]

So they have doctors that are prescribing you medication to keep you coming back so you stay skinny. It's insane how tone deaf this commercial was. But the very next commercial, the very next commercial is for poppy sodas. Poppy sodas, Low sugar. Supposed to taste like your favorite soda, but it's got low sugar and all the, you know, low carbs or whatever it is. And it shows nothing but beautifully beautiful women, skinny as can be in slinky outfits telling you that you should drink poppy soda to keep those unrealistic expectations, keep those bodies. Bodies unrealistically skinny. It was crazy that Fox did not separate these two commercials. That no one in at Fox after having gotten 16 collective million dollars from these two companies, didn't think for one second to check how the continuity would go. You would think that would be one of the things that someone has to check, right? Yeah, I guess I just, I watched.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It and I was like, holy, Fox has on.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's true. I mean, listen, no one accused any of those big networks of being smart. But at the same time, if I'm poppy or if I'm hims and hers, I'm upset the next morning that these two commercials ran back to back because one is talking about how, you know, media and the health industry is just trying to keep you sick by and make you have to live up to unrealistic expectations while the next commercial wants you to live up to those unrealistic expectations.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It was great.

[Brian Green]

That was the dumbest thing that Fox did on that. Right? I have tried poppy sodas.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And did. Have you tried them? No.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's why I was wondering.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I've tried them. Listen, I don't, you know, everybody claims they taste, you know, it's like soda the soda maker and all these, they all claim that they're. They taste like your favorite soda.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Brian Green]

Yeah. But I don't know if they taste like your favorite soda. That's all I'm saying. I guess that's left up to interpretation. And I don't have anything against poppy. We actually have some in the refrigerator right now. It's fine, whatever. Cool. Yeah. It's carbonated soda that, you know, essentially probably tastes a little bit like maybe your favorite soda, but not all the way bit. Like a little bit. Not all the bit. You know what I'm saying? Okay. It's not a. It's not a. If you really are dying for a Coca Cola, there is nothing else that's going to replace that taste except for Coca Cola. None of those spritzy spray stream things that you have at home. None of those sodas that are low carb, low sugar. Coke Zero is not going to do it for you. Coca Cola is what you want.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's a taste that humans are born. I think humans are born wanting Coca Cola. They know the taste. Yes. A Pepsi's not gonna cure that. Nothing's gonna cure that. RC Cola. Not even gonna come close. If you want a Coca Cola, drink a Coca Cola. And I'm not a cuck for Coca Cola. I'm just saying that's the way it is. Same with Sprite. There's a lot of Sprite imitators out there, Chrissy, but none of them taste like Sprite. Yeah, that's all I have to say. Say, what did you think about the commercial?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I thought they were so, so.

[Brian Green]

You thought they were so, so. Yeah, yeah. Well, listen, I. I'm sorry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

There was no standout.

[Brian Green]

I'm sorry.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We like, this is the best commercial of the whole thing.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, clearly there was no standout.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Good parts.

[Brian Green]

But yeah, yeah, I don't think there was any like, standout commercial where it was like, that was the best commercial.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Brian Green]

But I did think the breast cancer commercial was excellent to raise awareness. It showed bouncing boobs. It showed famous scenes from movies that have boobs. It did everything but show an actual naked boob. It was all boobs.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We already saw that at the Grammys.

[Brian Green]

What's that?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We already saw that at the Grammy.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we got that. Ye took care of it. No problem. Thanks. Easy. We appreciate it.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, that was a great commercial. And to bring awareness and top of.

[Brian Green]

Mind, Check your tatas, men and women. The only thing it didn't do was show a man and his boobs. And I wish they would have because men also can die from breast cancer.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

True.

[Brian Green]

I don't think a lot of guys know that, but check your tatas, everybody. Check your tatas. Go get your tatas checked out. That's the most important message of the night, I think, quite frankly.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Frankly, yeah, I agree.

[Brian Green]

That and Taylor Swift maybe on the backside of her very wonderful two year run. 23, 24. Okay. I'd like to thank Ari Shafir who came in yesterday. Tuesday's TCB infomercial was. Ari, please do yourself a favor. Go watch his new Netflix special, America's Sweetheart, available right now. It's out. You can go watch it. Ari Shafird. For tour tickets and all the good stuff about Ari. You can go check that out. I'll put a link in the show note. All week long in the show notes, Ari. Also, we'd like you to get in touch with us 212-433-TCB 212-433-3822 Questions, comments, concerns? Content? Ideas? We're taking them all right there. Text message or leave us a voicemail if you want to be on the the next episode of the commercial break. Who knows, maybe we'll use your voice. Just be mindful about what you say at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com the commercial break for all of the episodes on video the same day they air here on the audio. Please subscribe, like and comment on your favorite video. Okay Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

But I'll tell you that I love you. Best to you. Fuck your Starlink idea. Until next time. We always say we will say we do say goodbye when you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like Aloe Allbirds or Skims. Sure you think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business making, selling and for shoppers buying. Simple for millions of businesses. That business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret with Shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

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[Brian Green]

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[Chrissy Hoadley]

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[Brian Green]

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