
TCB Classic - EP #754: Because Bryan & Krissy are prepping for 12 or 13 grueling hours in the studio, they need a break before it even begins! They're older, weaker and less intelligent than they used to be... so let's give them that break. Instead, Bryan rolls out a "TCB Classic". This episode turns back the clock to April 22' when Carl Lentz made his first visit to the show (well, Bryan as Carl Lentz). Let the absolutely crass and blasphemous joking begin! It's a throwback to EP#173, Hey Girl, Its' Me....Carl! Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrat...
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Brian Green
Foreign. If you asked me Today, Memorial Day 2025, whether or not I regret having a wise idea to do 12 episodes of the commercial break in a 24 hour period, I would tell you no. Nay, no, I do not. Because my original idea was to do 24 episodes in 24 hours, to which my longtime and very faithful co host said fuck you and cooler heads prevailed. I dug my heels in for a few days, but when she just flat out refused to go along with the idea, I figured it might be hard to do 24 episodes in 24 hours if I had no co host. So 12 of them. That's what we settled on. I still think there's a chance she might not show up, but I'm hoping you do. DCB's endless day at the end of this week, Saturday, May 31st and in preparation for our Big 12 episodes, we're missing one regular episode this week, so the math still isn't mathing. I intended to put out 16 episodes in one week, but now it's going to be 15 as we just could not record enough guests to have one play today for a TCB infomercial Tuesday. So in return, I give you a TCB classic every time I do that damn Carl voice. You know the one. Hey girl, it's Carl. That one. Based on the infamous preacher Carl Lentz, we get a slew of messages on our TCB hotline. 90% of them are from you, the good natured listener who takes comfort in the laughable hypocrisy of megachurches. However, there is a small segment of the audience that gets really annoyed when I go after these guys and girls. I don't know. Call me a throwback, call me a classic. I got a soft spot in my heart for the kind of satire that can actually open eyes to the world around us. Now, I don't place any importance on that satire that I'm doing. I just find it funny myself. We're throwing this back to April 15, 2022, if you even remember that far back when Chrissy and I reviewed me reviewing a documentary about Hillsong where Carl was a preacher. This is the first time that Carl voice makes an appearance, along with some other noteworthy commentary on megachurches in general. You'll also note this episode that the actual commercial breaks inside of the commercial break, the liner where Rachel tells you how to find us on social media and our phone number, and the commercials that follow. Those liners actually just come out of nowhere. They're random places in the episode because this episode was made before we even had advertisements. That's how long ago this was. And yes, I do have to pay some bills, so you'll excuse me for dropping in a couple of advertisements. All right, enjoy this TCB classic, also known as hey Girl, It's Carl. Episode 100. 173 for those that are counting. We'll be back tomorrow with a fresh episode and at the end of the week for 12 or 13 fresh episodes. Enjoy. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Yes, ma'. Am. It's another episode of the commercial break. I'm Brian green. This is my dear friend Kristen hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian.
Chrissy Hoadley
I almost just said happy new year.
Brian Green
I told you. No, no, no, no. I tell my daughter and she'll go like this back to me. She'll finger wag back to me. If I tell her no, she'll finger wag. And if I tell my son no, he just does whatever the hell he pleases. But he's a three nager and that's what we got to deal with. The best you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this, the commercial break, the only one you ever need. In case you're wondering. That's it. Don't worry about those other commercial breaks.
Chrissy Hoadley
Especially not the vlog.
Brian Green
This is not the commercial break you're looking to for. Yeah, the vlog that never seen the light of day until I decided to make it see the light of day. How bad? How bad was that? That was.
Chrissy Hoadley
We both made fun of our younger selves.
Brian Green
Yeah, I mean, listen, we all make mistakes. We're gonna look back on this in 10 years and go, well, that's a fucking train wreck. We probably should have gotten jobs.
Chrissy Hoadley
Hey, we're living in the moment.
Brian Green
Yes, your honor. In bankruptcy court. I was trying my best. Look at what it could have been. It could have been much worse, your honor. Could have been much worse. So a lot of stuff to get to today. Let's jump right into it. I, you know, we just got back from having a little break and so when I was on vacation, I didn't have access to my normal viewing activities. I because I will say this about the Disney cruises. No tlc, no discovery, no nothing. Okay, we'll say this about the Disney cruises. I have been on the much bigger cruise ships and the Internet was as if you were at your house. You can make phone calls. You could Internet it, no problem. You could download, stream, do whatever you want. The Disney cruise had miserable fucking Internet. You couldn't even get on a website.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's a reason. 30 minutes to be out and about.
Brian Green
No, they want you to buy their Internet program. That's what they want. They block your phones. They have a phone blocker because we're not that far off the coast. Like, I mean, you can pick up Bahama area. Yeah. You can pick up cell phones in Miami until you're probably 30 or 40 miles away, I would imagine. I'm not a technologist, but I imagine that's how it goes. Yeah, they black your fucking cell phone and then they tell you you got to buy, you know, 300 megs for $30. You know what 300 megs is? It's like one really good selfie is what that is. And so you're. Someone sends you a text message with a picture in it, and you're. You just spent $30 anyway. Anywho. I didn't have any, but that's okay. That wasn't there to watch tlc. I had to do plenty of that here in the studio.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah. Withdrawals.
Brian Green
Just a little bit. Little back a little bit.
Chrissy Hoadley
A little.
Brian Green
Little Ted. See?
Chrissy Hoadley
Teenage.
Brian Green
Just a teeny tiny. But when I got back, I was inundated with news and television that I had not yet had an opportunity to watch. I turned on my, you know, my go to TLC discovery. First of all, are you are not watching the new 90 Day the other way?
Chrissy Hoadley
No, but there is one that. That's on Netflix. That's the follow up to Love is Blind.
Brian Green
I saw that, but we didn't like it. We watched one episode and we didn't watch this episode.
Chrissy Hoadley
I was kind of like, eh, but I'm gonna give it a shot. I thought it's something that we could discuss.
Brian Green
Okay, then I'll keep going through.
Chrissy Hoadley
It is pretty crazy whack.
Brian Green
And I told that. Here's the premise of it. I won't give away anything about the first episode, but here's the premise. Is that five or six couples.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's the same host.
Brian Green
The same host and lachey. And the. The premise is. Is that five or six couples that are on the verge of either break. It's like they're giving them an ultimatum. Either we're breaking up or we're getting married. Yes, One of the two. And so.
Chrissy Hoadley
And it could be the girl or the guy that's giving the ultimatum.
Brian Green
Yeah. And so they discuss all that on the first episode. And then for three weeks you pick another partner. So there's 12 people try out. You pick another partner. And you try them out and you decide if you really want to be with the first partner, which is absolutely fucking whack a doodle. It makes no sense. There's no real life application for this. This is just a drama. This is just a shit stirring show, which I get it. That's what Netflix needs to do in order to drive ratings. I don't hear the same kind of scuttlebutt about this as we did about Love Is Blind in either season. But I watched the first episode and it's just so unbelievable to me that I can't get into it. And here's what I told Astrid when we watch, like within three minutes of the show, I said, not one of these couples is not already broken up. They're already broken up probably, and they're coming on here as like a last ditch effort or because they want some fame. Because you do not send the one. This person that you're ready to get married to into a home to live with some hot fudgeing stud for the next three weeks and see if you know, his happens to make it into your vagina.
Chrissy Hoadley
Jealousy happens. Of course, the one girl came over and sat down right at the table that the new girl and guy were.
Brian Green
Yeah, I read somewhere, you know, I.
Chrissy Hoadley
Listen, I watch it. There's plenty of content I can focus on.
Brian Green
There are. I just want to give this. I want to give this disclaimer again. There are lots of shows and programs that you can go to to get fucking facts. This is not one of them. Do not take anything that we say here with any degree of seriousness because we do not know what we're talking about. We're two friends, as if we were sitting at a bar shooting the shit and one of us really doesn't know it. Really doesn't know what facts are. And that's. So let me explain. I read somewhere. So let me explain.
Chrissy Hoadley
Similar. Similar to. What do you call the place where the captain of the boats.
Brian Green
Starboard. Starboard. I think that's the right side of the ship. So the cockpit. Yeah, that's not it either. That's a plane. I read somewhere the galley. The galley is the. Is the front of the. Is like the place where you walk in. I don't. I don't know. I can't now. I can't even still can't remember. It's the. I don't know what it's called. The thing. The place where the people are. You know, it's in the. At the helm. They're at the helm.
Chrissy Hoadley
At the helm.
Brian Green
But I don't think that's what you call it either. Anyway, anyway, I read that non monogamous relationships are becoming like consensual. Non monogamy is becoming very popular with the younger generations. I don't. I'm not one who believes that you should be monogamous for the rest of your life if you don't want to. You should do whatever the fuck makes you feel good. Right. If that your truth, if you're. If where you live in your own head, in your space, is that I don't want to be stuck with one person for the rest of my life or at any time in my life.
Rachel
Right.
Brian Green
God bless you. But I see this turning out really badly. I see this.
Chrissy Hoadley
It takes two really strong, strong people to have a lot of like, therapy and working through that to.
Brian Green
I see a lot of. A lot of rage happening in these younger kids. And I don't know, but any relationship that I've been akin to like that I've seen in my own life where they decide they're gonna do consensual. Non monogamy, it's just another word for our relationship isn't working. Let's try something really fucking drastic. And it never worked. Never. Not once now, once have I seen it work out. And I can you. I could probably name 10 people right now. And you would know who they were.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
You already know who they are.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Okay. So I get back from the cruise and then I got a whole thing of. To watch. And one of the things that pops up on there is a documentary series on Discovery. Three part documentary series on something called the Hillsong Church, which I've been watching this story for years. Yeah.
Chrissy Hoadley
It's been unfolding for years.
Brian Green
The Hillsong Church. Let me give you a little brief. I'll give an explanation. Right. And I. And I actually wrote some things down so I don't get them wrong. Right. Yeah. Because I know that some people who are listening who have ever been to the Hillsong Church might be upset if I get it wrong. So I won't get it wrong. The Hillsong Church is a breakaway church from a Pentecostal type, like evangelical Christian church based in Australia.
Chrissy Hoadley
Australia. I thought that was okay. Gotten that right guy.
Brian Green
Yeah, you did. Guy comes from New Zealand named Houston, and him and his son Brian Houston, they start this, you know, evangelical church in Australia. Then Brian breaks off and starts another church that eventually ends up becoming the named Hillsong Church.
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
Named Hillsong because of the band that was playing at the church was called Hillsong Okay. Okay. So Brian's. His father has this very traditional.
Chrissy Hoadley
Have called it 33P.
Brian Green
They should have called it 33 penis church. The 30. I'm the 33P pastor, son. Is that up?
Chrissy Hoadley
If they'd only known about your.
Brian Green
They'd only known about us then. Then Hillsong would have. They still be going strong to this day, but they're not. And I'll tell you why. Brian breaks off, he starts this more younger version of the church. Like hip, like relaxed, not so Pentecostal, not so brimstone and fire. And he realizes something. He realizes that the music that's being played at the church, which is a little bit more forward thinking than most of. Yeah. Like repeating all of the same old hymns and maybe putting a little razzle dazzle on it is not what everybody's into. What they're into are these big ballad swooping songs that are very popular at the time. 80s, early 90s.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Right. So Brian catches onto this and he goes. Or the people at Hillsong catch onto this and they say there's a formula. Right. It's the music that is doing something. I'll tell you what it is. Music is scientifically able to change your emotion based on certain chord progressions. There's a whole thing called music theory that lots of people study in college where you can actually manipulate how someone feels given the right circumstances, based on chord progressions.
Chrissy Hoadley
It makes sense. Whenever I'm in a certain mood, if I kind of want to change it, I listen to music.
Brian Green
Yeah. And if you listen to an upbeat, happy chord progression, major chord progressions, then you're going to feel good. If you listen to major, minor chord progressions and they swoop, they like it, it goes from soft to loud. You're going to feel it could be a religious experience, could be considered a religious experience. You're getting chills. You know, think of Celine Dion singing some like huge. Hitting some huge high note in a minor key after a major. Like, you know, you're going, oh, you know, or Adele, Whitney Houston, all of us who've been to a concert can probably experience. It can probably describe a religious type experience at a concert. Because music does that to us. And I do believe there is some God in music. Like there's some universe, you know, computer in the sky, whatever spirit, whatever the you want to call it that music is a communication tool that we don't quite understand yet.
Chrissy Hoadley
Through the ages.
Brian Green
Absolutely. Yeah. Kids can learn how to read faster if there's music set to it. There's a whole Thing, Right. It's a thing. Something goes on with music, and it really hits us at our core. It's a communication tool that we don't quite understand all the power of. But what. What people who are in the know have been doing for many years, and especially preachers, is they, like, if you go to a Benny Hinn, you know, Benny Hinn is. Okay, Benny Hinn is this, like, huge evangelical preacher on tv, and he's the guy who will, like, hit you on the head and then tell you you're cured of Ms. Or some bullshit.
Chrissy Hoadley
Right.
Brian Green
Stuff that's never been true. Right. It's all bullshit. It's fake. It's a big show. But he puts on this big show, big lights, does is. He starts the music the second you walk in the door, and he swoops to a crescendo an hour later. Yes, you have been manipulated. Your mind is in a totally different headspace, and you think this stuff is happening and it's because of God. When. When maybe. Right. But probably the more realistic answer is that it has been designed to do that.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Hillsong catches on to this, and they start doing this with regularity and super effectively. Now, I'm about to do something that I'm not going to put this on YouTube, but I'm about to do something that I have never done at the commercial break, and that is, I am going to play a song because I want to play this song.
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay?
Brian Green
And I want you to hear this song. This is Oceans by the Hillsong Band. There's a girl who's singing. This is a very incredible voice, but this is. I want. This is a live version of this. All of their live songs are seven to 12 minutes long. They all start out very hypnotically, and then they move into this crazy, you know, callback. You know, I. I sing a verse, you sing a verse. I sing a verse, you sing a. Back to the audience and listen to this song and tell me that if you listen to this for, like, 15 minutes straight, you wouldn't feel some kind of emotion either. Yeah. Okay. Okay, ready? Let's play this. This is called Oceans. I walk by the side or some. And this is just as good as any popular music that's out there today.
Chrissy Hoadley
Starting slow.
Brian Green
Of course it's. And listen, look, it's eight minutes long.
Chrissy Hoadley
Great unknown. Come on, sing it to. Come on, sing it.
Brian Green
Come on, sing it. Tonight's your prayer. Sing your prayer to me Feel it in your bones look at my body. This chord progression is known as major minor chord progression. I think. Right. And so what it's doing is it's hitting on a note that sounds happy and familiar and then it's moving down to a note that sounds more dramatic and sad.
Chrissy Hoadley
Look how many people are there?
Brian Green
There's 10,000 fucking people in this video. You got to see this video. But I'm not going to put out. But you got to see it because YouTube will just demonetize it anyway. Okay, now I'm going to fast forward. Get it?
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay, I get it.
Brian Green
Now this builds for another.
Chrissy Hoadley
They've got the drums coming in, the xylophone.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah, it's a whole orchestral thing.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
Right. Now I'm gonna fast forward about three minutes in the song.
Chrissy Hoadley
They got some hypnotic looking stuff going on in the back too.
Brian Green
Okay, now listen. This here's the callback. In response, they sing this over and over again.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, sorry, guitar is coming in.
Brian Green
It's getting louder. It's getting faster. Look at these people. They are hypnotized.
Chrissy Hoadley
They are.
Brian Green
This crescendos into some craziness.
Chrissy Hoadley
Boom.
Brian Green
Yes, boom. Just like your favorite song would do, right?
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And they do it again. Over and over again. Crescendo, crescendo, crescendo. Louder and louder. Faster and faster. More. More instruments. You are totally mesmerized.
Chrissy Hoadley
You're in it, right?
Brian Green
And it's hip and it's cool and it's not the same things that your parents were singing. It is something completely different. Right? This is not the hymns of the church. This is modern music. This is Adele. This is Whitney Houston. This is whoever. Yeah. So they get these fucking young kids wrapped up in this craziness. Brian Houston starts this and it starts out small. He puts it in the middle of a major metropolitan city in Australia and he starts treating it almost like a nightclub. It's an event, right? Yeah. Church starts at 7.30pm it goes till midnight. You got a. There's a red carpet that you're walking like it's an event. It's a concert. Multimillion dollar stage productions. It's mainly music with a. With a charismatic preacher. And so he breaks out and decides he's a. He's. He starts a college like this. Church starts to get huge. People are going bananas. Do you know how many play, you Know me plays? That one video that I just showed you has 486 million plays on YouTube. There's over a million likes on that video. That's insane. The amount of money they're generating just from one video is insane. So now Brian decides he's going to open up a church in the United States in downtown New York.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And instead of getting a church space, he gets a live music venue and that's where he puts the church every Sunday at 7:30. And he gets this charismatic preacher named Carl Lentz. Carl Lentz is the guy that we've seen with Justin Bieber, Kendall Jenner, all these celebrities. Young, super smoking hot guy, dresses to the nines. Right.
Chrissy Hoadley
And beautiful wife and kids. The perfect. Yeah.
Brian Green
Hip, cool, hip cool.
Chrissy Hoadley
Cusses a little, I think, right.
Brian Green
He cusses, he'll tell you, you know, don't let God get away from, you know.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
And people are like, oh he's, he's us. He's like us.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
People in New York go crazy about this.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh yeah, they have.
Brian Green
Because they know that any place that there's a line for 100 with 150 people waiting to get in, it's a place they want to be.
Chrissy Hoadley
And Justin Bieber.
Brian Green
And Justin Bieber. That's right. And it starts getting almost. This guy has more fame than anybody in this particular like preacher circle, right?
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
He starts getting secret service, like security people come in and they'll do like a sweep of the facilities before he shows up. He's talking in front of 25000 people. That music's playing, people are going crazy. Yeah. They've got VIP sections. They start bringing like they'll have 35 named celebrities in the front row. And you know, all the, the pleons have to sit in the back. It's a whole thing. They're selling records, they're have a donation box that's getting folded a gullet. And Carl, no taxes, paying no taxes and, and buying property all over the world. And Carl Lentz is the superstar of this show. Brian Houston's doing his thing in Australia, but it's really Carl Lentz in America who is just having a fucking grand old time. Right. You want to hear a little bit of Carl? You want to hear him talk a little bit?
Chrissy Hoadley
Sure.
Brian Green
Okay, let's look at this guy.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh yeah, yeah.
Brian Green
Handsome dude. I mean that dude is like, he's like this thing of preachers. He is the preacher.
Chrissy Hoadley
Even has the lower cut tank top.
Brian Green
Oh yeah. I want to have sex with this guy. I'm just sharing that information out loud.
Chrissy Hoadley
A red leather jacket.
Brian Green
Dating advice. You ready for this? Find somebody who is occupying their street, not watching you occupy yours. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds good to me. Holler back at a player if you see him in the street.
Chrissy Hoadley
What?
Brian Green
I'm just 100 convinced about whatever he said. I don't know, but I'm convinced. Yeah, he's hot. He's. He's cool, he's hip, he's got a little bit of attitude in his voice. You hear that voice? Like the kids talk, holler, bag of the play. You see him on the street. You see my yeezys? That's $75 million. I got them easy. Gave them to me, flew them to me on a private jet. This guy is like a rock star amongst rock stars.
Chrissy Hoadley
He is.
Brian Green
You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some really heavy thinking to do before 10 o'. Clock.
Rachel
Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void, like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans or tell us a little story. The juicier the better. By the way, we love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the commercial break on Insta, TCB podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch. Oh, that came out wrong. We put all the episodes out on video, YouTube.com the commercial break, and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously. Axl needs food. Today is pork chop day.
Brian Green
One of the things he's really known for is giving a lot of dating advice, like sex advice, and it's all about purity. Purity, purity, purity. He shames people who have sex before marriage.
Chrissy Hoadley
Where this goes.
Brian Green
See where this is going? It's where it goes every time. And that is whatever someone's talking about, they're not doing, they're doing themselves. It's like thou does protest too much. And Carl was doing a little bit too much protesting about his 33 peepee, if you know what I mean. He was saying, purity, purity, purity. Let's listen to his dating events. Find somebody who's occupying their street, not somebody watching you occupy yours. I have a belief with my daughters. My daughter's like, dad, when is it going to be a good time to date. I'm like never girl. You're going to live here until you're 70. Why? Because I am also sleeping with a lot of young women. I do not want to run into you at the club and hit on you on accident. Carl is on fire. This is when he's a little bit younger too. Yeah. At one point he had like the long, you know, longer hair and he had man bun. But I think dating for the most part. Oops, sorry.
Chrissy Hoadley
I lead in the man bun.
Brian Green
I think so. Yeah. Do something about it. That's the first thing. So if you're occupying your street and you're doing great things. If you're in a high school, for instance, I don't know who you're dating and what you're doing. Cuz that guy you're dating, he ain't got no job. He has nothing to offer you just yet. I think it's a great idea to occupy. Yeah, dude, he's like super strict about dating. He's like he, he would publicly.
Chrissy Hoadley
Because the guys don't have a job. Well, what are you saying? Go get a sugar daddy.
Brian Green
Yeah. I mean, first of all, second of all, you're in high school. What do you want me to do? I got to like pass my classes. Unless you're going to be like Brian and work at McDonald's 40 hours a week going to high school. There's a famous picture of this guy. In the famous picture is him and Justin Bieber. I don't have the picture. The famous picture is him and Justin Bieber like walking. Yeah. They had just played basketball or something. They're walking and both of them have their shirt off. Well, Justin has like an open shirt and he has his shirt completely off. Carl Lentz does. And his pants are, are right in that like man Runway. You know what I'm talking about? Those two little muscles that go down there that are pointing in the direction of your flaccid cock. I'm saying it's like a, a, it's like a little. It's a street sign. Yeah, the V. It's a neon V just pointing directly to the happy zone. And just Justin looks like a fucking schleb next to Carl Lentz. Justin looks like your fat old dad on the beach when you were embarrassed that he was still wearing socks on the beach. When he's next to Carl Lentz who looks like a man God. I mean the guy is like Jesus Christ reincarnate. And the thing about Carl Lentz is why as a preacher Would you ever be walking around the streets of downtown New York with your, you know, vocational V hanging out? You just don't do that. You just don't do that. No, it's not V for victory. It's v for vaginas. Go here. You know what I'm saying?
Chrissy Hoadley
Like, right, you get where I'm going with this.
Brian Green
Like, why else would you be? And, you know, there's paparazzi going to take pictures of you.
Chrissy Hoadley
That's the reason he was looking like that.
Brian Green
This is a story that has been told so many times, it's not even funny now. I watched this documentary knowing some other things about hillsong that I think are much more serious than Carl lentz being a douchebag. Right.
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, didn't it just come out, though, that he was very. I mean, he and his wife are getting divorced. It's a whole thing.
Brian Green
It's a whole thing.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
So he was cheating. And it turns out that Carl lentz happened to be sleeping with a couple different people. While he was talking about purity and all this other bullshit, it got to his head. Fame got to his head. He. You know, and at first I was like, well, who really cares, okay? The guy cheated on his wife. Like, I mean, people cheat on their wives all the time. He got fired in this big public firing. And Brian Houston, like, you know, distance himself. Distance himself and said, listen, there have been some red flags for a while, and I don't want to get into it, but basically, this is the camel that brought. Broke the. Whatever.
Chrissy Hoadley
The straw that broke the camel, the.
Brian Green
Camel that brought the strobes back. You know what I'm saying? You know how it goes here at the commercial break. Just twisting words and so. But my initial thought was, that seems awful dramatic for like, a relatively common offense, right? Maybe they could have spun it, like, you know, Carl's gonna go away for a little while.
Chrissy Hoadley
He's gonna get redeemed.
Brian Green
Him and tiger are gonna go to, you know, you know, vagina addiction classes, and we'll see rehab, you know, the. That they say they're doing. And then he'll come back and he'll continue to sleep with people. Just keep it more on the download this time. But that's not what happened. It was like a big fucking blow up. And Carl himself said, I did wrong. You know, I. I'm stepping away. Whatever. Meanwhile, he continued to, like, really creepily pursue some of these women on the backside. Like, when he said he had their backside, well, that's exactly what he was thinking about. He would send him like 3 minute long videos where he'd be like, hey girl, I'm just, you know, I'm thinking about. You'd be in the car like, hey, girl, I'm just thinking about you. Me and the Lord were rolling down the highway. I got my vocational V hanging out, you know, I'm talking about. I just got back from, you know, doing a little workout at Biebs house. I was showing him how he gets vocational V back. So, you know. You know, Biebs getting a little flabby. So I was thinking about you. And I just want to know if it's okay to think about you. If it's okay to think about you. Let me know. That's. He was saying things like that, right? Real creepy. And he's like, and if it's okay, I'll stop by your house every once in a while, you know, knock on the door, surprise kind of thing. You know what I'm saying? Like, real creepy, creepy.
Chrissy Hoadley
He did a really good impression.
Brian Green
Thank you. Holy. It's me, Carl Lynch. Hey, what's up, girls? Me, Carl. Me and the Lord just rolling down the street. My five zero. You know what I'm talking about? Listen, I was thinking about you. I got my. I got my little lord here. I got my. My walking staff. And we're going through the desert 40 days, 40 nights. You know, I got a little trouble for, you know, know, sending those pictures out. Reply all, you know, talk about, girl. So Biebs writing a song for you. I'm gonna send it to you a little bit later, but you don't mind if I stop by your house, your work, your parents house. It's gonna check out, see what's going on. I'm bring some security over. We're gonna lock you down. Lock it down like we did last night. No talking about. Girl, do me a favor. Don't tell anybody about this. I'm gonna put it on video and send it to you. But don't tell anybody about it.
Chrissy Hoadley
You're not talking about it.
Brian Green
Yeah, I might get in a little trouble. I'm married. I don't know if I told you that, but don't worry about it. I'm with the Lord. Lord walks with me. I'm walking with the Lord, my savior. Remember that song, that girl, that girl singing Oceans. 435 million billion billion billion views. I wrote that for you, girl. Girl, it's me, Carl. It's. It's Big lens and little Lance. Good car, little car. Just here shouting out to you, girl, I got my Yeezys. I got my Chanel scarf wrapped around my vocational V. You know what I'm talking about, girl, V is for victory, huh? Can I get an amen? Listen, do me a favor. Don't post this one on Instagram like you did last time. Appreciate it, girl. Another NDA I had you signed. Don't worry about it, girl. I'll rip it up. I'm gonna leave my wife here in a couple months. Run away, get married with. Okay, so that's all for now, I guess. You know, I'm just trying to chill. I'm just like. So if it's okay that I call you, you let me know. You call me. You tell me that it's okay to call you when I'm thinking about you, but you know, cuz I just. I'm hurting. The Lord has a big hole in my soul right now and I got to fill my tummy. I got to fill my tummy with that, girl love. You know what I'm talking about? It's, you know, it's hard for me to preach on a full dick.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh my God, I just almost spit my. That was a good Carl performance.
Brian Green
Thanks. I appreciate it. Girl, I gotta go. Talk to you later. It's me, Mr. Carl. Talk to you later. So Carl has a big blow up at the whole church. And you know how it goes. It's. It's a whole to do. Right. But that is not the worst of the offenses. So now this is a cup. This is like a year ago.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
That this happens in. But the. What is really going on behind the scenes is that Frank Houston. I think his name is Frank Houston. Frank Houston, who is Brian Houston's father, who originally brought the church to Australia from New Zealand.
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay.
Brian Green
Was actually having sex with young boys in the original church. And Brian Houston covered it up for years and years and years. Like they found out about it, it became a thing. But essentially it just slapped him on the wrist and told him to, you know, go away, don't come back to the church, and please don't be in any other positions that may put you in front of children. Well, of course. Of course that didn't. Yeah, yeah. He didn't listen. And nor did Brian Houston try and stop him. Now, you know, that's a complicated relationship. I understand. Son and father and all that whole bullshit. But recently, like this week, all of the sudden, some of these Hillsong churches across the United States, 50% of them by some estimations, just closed the doors or changed their name. They moved away from Hillsong because they don't want to be associated, including the one here in Atlanta. Right. They. They said we're no longer going to be hillsong. We're changing our name. The preacher is taking.
Chrissy Hoadley
When in doubt, just rebrand that.
Brian Green
Yeah, I mean, hey, girl, I'm changing my name to Dan Wentz. Used to be Carl Lentz. It's now Dan Wentz. You know what I'm saying? I'll be back at church. Don't you worry. So here's my point. When we start putting these people on pedestals, right when we start, Blue, honestly, Blue wants to get into the conversation.
Chrissy Hoadley
Blue has some thoughts.
Brian Green
Blue's in 33 of the 170 episodes that we've done. Hey, Blue, can you shut up while we're recording?
Chrissy Hoadley
Thanks.
Brian Green
No, fuck you.
Chrissy Hoadley
When I go out there.
Brian Green
She'S so fat. She's like that goes on all night in my house.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, Lord.
Brian Green
So now. So now, I swear to God, I'm about to go out there, I'm about to lose my. Hey, Blue, it's Carl. It's Carl Lynch. Hey, could you shut up for the Lord? I'd appreciate it. Thanks, girl. Thanks, girl. Could you chill out for the Lord? I'd appreciate it. You know, there's doggy heaven, too. Might go there soon. So all these churches close. Here's the point you. When we put earthly things in unearthly positions, this always happens. You want to know why? Because people are human now. Diddling little boys, unac acceptable on any. In anybody's mind. I think anybody with a right mind on their shoulders will agree with me on that. Sleeping with somebody that's not your wife, that's, I think, a much lesser offense. And I understand that. You know, people do things like shit happens. And Carl couldn't control preaching one thing and doing the. And doing the other. It's so fucking hypocritical. But this happens all the time. When are we going to learn our lesson? Be spiritual, not religious. And if religion helps you, God bless you, then keep on going to your religion. If you're going to your corner church and you love it and you love the people, it's community. It's family to you, right? Keep on doing your thing, but don't get caught up in all this. Don't get caught up in these crazy characters who beg for your money.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, they're these charismatic, you know, people that get up there and just hypnotize.
Brian Green
People and then they're flying around brand new 747s that are macked out with you. Know Gucci logos. And you're still trying to make rent. Two planes. Yeah, two planes. Because I. Because one didn't do it. And you're still trying to make rent and cutting a hundred dollar check to these people every week. Don't do it. But don't get caught up in the bullshit.
Chrissy Hoadley
I love that show, the righteous gemstones.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah, yeah. So good.
Chrissy Hoadley
Entire thing.
Brian Green
So I'm just putting a cap on all this. I just want to update people on the hillsong. The documentary is fascinating. I think I just told you most of the story. So I've probably taken a lot of the bite out of the three part miniseries. But it's fascinating discovery. Plus it's one of the ones that I recommend that you watch. And it's well done too, because at first you're like, who fucking cares? A preacher slept with somebody. Big deal. You know, happens all the time. But then it gets a little deeper and you're like, oh, I see. It's a whole fucking thing. Yeah. Okay. Now, before we let everybody go, I wanted to end on a funny note. Since I knew this was gonna be a little bit more serious. I didn't know Carl was gonna show up. I thought it was gonna be more serious. You wanna hear a drunk preacher? Yes, just a drunk ass preacher. Just a man who was drunk who just decided to get up there, sing to the Lord. Praise. This is where Carl Lentz is gonna be in five years from now. This is the church Carl Lentz is currently yet.
Rachel
Okay. You're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333-TCD. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point? Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on video@YouTube.com the commercial break. That best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.
Brian Green
You ready? Okay. This is what I call drunk preacher. Thanks to whack jobs for Jesus for the video. Here we go.
Chrissy Hoadley
He's been dipping into the wine oh, Jesus.
Drunk Preacher
Oh, dear Jesus.
Brian Green
Oh, Lord.
Drunk Preacher
Holy.
Brian Green
Oi, hoy.
Drunk Preacher
Oi.
Brian Green
Jesus. Arn. Arn. Do you remember ar? That's the nudist folks. The American association of Recreational Nudeness. I don't know. Hey, girl, I just wondering if you wanted to go to ORN with me tomorrow night. I don't have a job anymore. Figured you've got some free time on your hands. What's up, girl? You want to go to Art with me? Thanks, Carl.
Chrissy Hoadley
We were calling for the wrong name.
Brian Green
Yeah, it was Art. We kept on saying Art, and it was like Aaron or something. I don't know. Who knows more shenanigans from tcv.
Drunk Preacher
Oh, yes, Lord. I've learned as quick prayer. I'll teach it to all you really quickly. Okie dokie, Lord.
Brian Green
Okie dokie, Lord. Here comes that Jack Daniels. Back up the other way. Okie dokie. I feel the Lord in my gut.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, no.
Brian Green
I can feel the Lord in my gullet.
Chrissy Hoadley
Does he turn?
Brian Green
No.
Drunk Preacher
Okie dokie. Lord, I love your heavy drunken glory, Lord. I love it. Thank you, Father, for more of the heavy, weighty, drunken glory in this house today.
Brian Green
Look, this guy. This guy is like the dude you meet at the local dive bar.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Brian Green
He's got the full on 90s goatee.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah, that. I mean, it's long.
Brian Green
Yeah, it's long. That's a Jerry Cantrell actual goatee. Yeah, it's a goatee. Oh, it doesn't have. But it doesn't have the mustache. It's like a corner of the lips. I don't know what you call that. You call that Allison? Chains. That's what I call that. It's an Alice in Chains. It's a sound garden. That's what it is. And then he's got the pants that are riding on the Victory V right there.
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah, they're about to fall down.
Brian Green
Yeah. And that shirt hasn't been washed in a couple weeks. His wife won't let him back in the house. He's just a mess.
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
Drunk Preacher
Favorite little bit of you. Jesus is the bliss is the joy. Isaiah 30:5.
Brian Green
What is that? Is he calling aliens?
Chrissy Hoadley
I don't know. He's. He's having a good time.
Brian Green
Calling all humans. We watched a video. We know how to communicate with the humans. Oi, oi, yoy. Oi, oi, oi. So silly.
Drunk Preacher
You will be overtaken by. That means taken over by joy. That means possessed by joy. Thank you, Lord.
Brian Green
Oh, my goodness.
Chrissy Hoadley
Does he have black nails?
Drunk Preacher
Thank you, Lord.
Brian Green
No, I think that's just a shadow. I think that's just a high quality studio tv.
Chrissy Hoadley
I thought he was really trying to be cool. No black nails. That's the sound garden.
Drunk Preacher
A teaching gift.
Brian Green
Whoa, whoa.
Drunk Preacher
And I have a good gift of getting struck mute in the middle of a service. One of those few guest speakers who you invite in and then you may not be able to speak.
Chrissy Hoadley
Is he a guest speaker? That's even funnier.
Brian Green
Hey, Bob, I really like what Joe's doing up there. Sign him up again. He's holding his stomach like he just had a big steak dinner. He's about to fart. That's how I hold my stomach after Thanksgiving or Taco Bell.
Drunk Preacher
Oh, my goodness. Thank you, Lord. Well, today, just invite. We just thank you, Lord, that we have these little fat Friar Tuck bartender angels that travel around with us and they wail in the barrels from heaven. Some healing angels that come.
Brian Green
But let me tell you, this guy has such a guilty conscience, he can't stop talking about. About alcohol. He's like, I'm so drunk with your glory. The fat little elf bartenders rolling free bottles of Jack Daniels behind the pew.
Chrissy Hoadley
Lord's blood.
Brian Green
Yeah, the Lord's blood. Tequila.
Drunk Preacher
Little fat Friar Tucks, they start yanking on your arms, you better watch out. You know, we need help around here. I think it's okay to talk about the angels in the church. Amen.
Brian Green
Help.
Drunk Preacher
We need somebody. Help. I mean, we think we can get. Oh, just. Let's just focus on Jesus. Don't talk about the angels.
Chrissy Hoadley
Bring it back to Jesus.
Brian Green
Yeah, Everything goes back in his mind. Joe, you're killing it. You're killing it. They don't know anything. It's the best sermon you've ever given. You're the next Lintz, right? Oh, yeah, he is.
Drunk Preacher
On Jesus. Don't talk about human beings or animals or any other creature the Lord's created. I think maybe we need to learn.
Brian Green
A little bit more about the spirit. I love this guy. This is like watching.
Chrissy Hoadley
What is this?
Brian Green
I don't know. This is like me 15 years ago @ your house on a Saturday afternoon. All right, don't talk about her. Don't call her. Don't call that girl.
Drunk Preacher
Right. Oh, thank you.
Brian Green
Lord.
Chrissy Hoadley
Whoa.
Drunk Preacher
Lord. I want to do it your way. I want to do it the highway. I want to do it the right way. I want to. I want it to get.
Chrissy Hoadley
Done. Look, that woman in the front saying, yeah, speak.
Brian Green
Jesus. Preach. Yeah, preach. He's our savior. When do they sing the ocean song? Excuse.
Chrissy Hoadley
Me.
Brian Green
Question. Is this the church where they sing oceans. No. Oh yoyo. People will believe anything. Teresa Caputo Drunken PREACHER so I.
Drunk Preacher
Had to say, I mean I like miracles. We were in. We were in Cleveland, Ohio, ladies Plastic eye, glass eye, I don't know. Artificial eyes. You begin to see through.
Chrissy Hoadley
It. She began to see through her glass. Glass of plastic whatever it.
Brian Green
Was. We were in Cleveland. Some chick with fake tits. I was able to feel him after a couple glasses of God's love. Oh, going class. I'd be able to see through it. Please. If you still have one good eye. Not a miracle.
Drunk Preacher
California. A guy wouldn't. I mean we see deaf ears open up all the time. But this guy with no hole in his ear started to hear right and he still didn't have a hole in his ear. He heard but no hole. The hole didn't grow. He just got his hearing. Hearing with no parts couple weeks.
Brian Green
Ago. I'm just gonna tell you he's just like random. He sounds like me. It's like an espisode of the commercial.
Chrissy Hoadley
Face. Yeah, no.
Brian Green
Facts. One time I had sex with the same.
Chrissy Hoadley
Stripper. No facts.
Brian Green
Needed. No, they just believe them. Everybody at the front.
Chrissy Hoadley
Row. It was in Cleveland though, wasn't.
Drunk Preacher
Here Cleveland wasn't here just a couple weeks ago. I was. You know how many of you guys know have heard Jeff's bilocation story where he shut up two places at.
Brian Green
Once. The way that that video cut out, it sounded like bi location story where Jeff once. Two places. Let's go back to that. I want you to hear how that cut out just a little bit and how it sounded like it was Jeff. Ready? Here we go. Okay, listen to this.
Drunk Preacher
Again. Tell you guys a few stories of wet your appetite. Just a couple. I was. You know how many of you guys know have heard Jeff's bilocation story where he up two places at once. More than one place at a time. Like you show up two of you, two Johnny's, two.
Brian Green
Jeffs.
Drunk Preacher
Right. So we've been pressing in for this for a while, Lord. We want to buy, locate.
Brian Green
Revelate. We want to buy. I want to buy. I want to buy for Kate. I want to buy low, sell high. I want to to buy at Lowe's. I.
Chrissy Hoadley
Wanna. Can I start for the B.
Brian Green
Location program sale at Home Depot. I don't even know what I'm talking about at this point. Black Friday, Green Tuesday. Not even sure this is what my boner sounds like in the.
Chrissy Hoadley
Morning. That's the.
Brian Green
Lord. Bless the Lord. That's spirit running through me. That's Spirit. Spirit's giving me a boner. That means I got a boner.
Drunk Preacher
Bo. Heaven. Just give it all to me. I want everything. Lord God, I want everything from it. Just pour it out, dump it on, you know I want it. And so. So for a while, I showed up in Ireland, although I was in Georgia. It's just happened a few weeks. Happened actually on my birthday in.
Brian Green
August. This guy needs mental health. This guy needs.
Chrissy Hoadley
Mental. I showed up in Ireland and. And the Lord made me drink all the Guinness. I was.
Brian Green
There. That's how it happened. Happens, Chrissy. That's what.
Chrissy Hoadley
Happened. It doesn't happen to me on my.
Brian Green
Birthday. Hey, girl, speaking of your birthday, speaking of your birthday, what you doing? What you doing next.
Chrissy Hoadley
Tuesday? Let's go to.
Brian Green
Ireland. Let's go to Island. Girl, send me this video. Do me a favor, don't give it to anybody else except for the New York Post. Thanks, girl. It's me, Carl, Big Carl, little Carl.
Chrissy Hoadley
Out. They do that.
Brian Green
Ow. Love you, girl. Love you, girl. Oh, my God. Fails, never fails. Every single time we talk about a preacher on this show, they're doing whatever they're telling everybody else not to do. Every single.
Chrissy Hoadley
Time. Every.
Brian Green
Time. Drunk with your love. Drunk with your love, Lord. Drunk with your love. Well, yeah. What else can I.
Chrissy Hoadley
Say? Good day.
Brian Green
Back. It was a good day back. Thanks, Chrissy. Appreciate.
Chrissy Hoadley
It.
Brian Green
Yes. Good to be.
Chrissy Hoadley
Back. Good to be.
Brian Green
Back. Good to have it. Everything is right with the world. Great to be back. Chrissy and I are going to be at Pod Fest the last weekend in mind. May go to podfest.com go to podfest.com if you want free tickets. I'm going to link it in the show notes. If you interested in the podcast industry whatsoever, you're a casual observer, you want to get into it, you are into it. Go to Pod Fest. You can see Chrissy and I are going to be there all day on Friday and we're going to be doing a live episode of the commercial break as a presentation, which is going to be a ton of fun. Special guests, lots more to happen at PodFest. The good people over at PodFest. So that's a live appearance that we're making that if you'd like to see down Orlando. Yeah, please do. Otherwise you'll have to see us at our next 33 pieces. Pete. Pete Pastor event. Yo, girl. What's up, girl? What's up, girl? Just look for me. V for victory. My V is more like. It's more like a B. I got a B. I look more like, what was that guy's name in your. In your video? Pullman. What was his name? Plumly. I'm more like a plumber. Plumly. I got more of a Plumly figure than a lens figure. I got a rolling bee all the way down to glory. There you go. All.
Chrissy Hoadley
Right. Rolling on in. Amen.
Brian Green
Brother. Amen, brother. Here's what you do. You go to tcbpodcast.com More information about Chrissy and I. All the show notes, all the audio, all the video now full episodes and clips every single day of the week. You can go to YouTube.com the commercial break to check that out at the commercial break on Instagram. I love how we've had so many phone numbers. I have to change it on every best of 212-4333. TCB. Okay, that's it. That's all I can do. I love.
Chrissy Hoadley
You. I love you.
Brian Green
Brian. To.
Chrissy Hoadley
You. I love you.
Brian Green
Boy. Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time. We always say, we do say, we must say. Bye.
Podcast: The Commercial Break
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Original Air Date: May 27, 2025
Episode: #173 ("TCB Classic: Hey Girl, It's Me...Carl!")
Context: This “TCB Classic” episode is a throwback to April 2022, focused on the rise and fall of Hillsong Church, its infamous preacher Carl Lentz, and why Bryan’s Carl impression both delights and annoys listeners. It blends signature off-the-cuff banter, reality TV riffs, and irreverent deep-dives into megachurch culture, all wrapped in the hosts’ chaotic, self-aware comedy.
Bryan and Krissy celebrate a “classic” TCB episode, revisiting their first deep-dive into the Hillsong Church scandal and Bryan’s now-legendary “Carl” impersonation, inspired by preacher Carl Lentz. Using the Hillsong docuseries as a springboard, they satirize the megachurch phenomenon, dissect manipulative religious spectacle, and riff on real-life hypocrisy. The episode is packed with signature improv, tangents, and knowingly “half-baked” social commentary—making church scandals funnier than ever.
"My original idea was to do 24 episodes in 24 hours, to which my longtime and very faithful co-host said fuck you and cooler heads prevailed." (00:20)
"90% of them are from you, the good natured listener who takes comfort in the laughable hypocrisy of megachurches. However, there is a small segment of the audience that gets really annoyed when I go after these guys and girls." (01:20)
"I just find it funny myself." (01:28)
"You do not send...the person you're ready to get married to into a home to live with some hot fucking stud for the next three weeks and see if...his happens to make it into your vagina." – Bryan (07:40)
"There are lots of shows and programs that you can go to to get fucking facts. This is not one of them." (08:12)
“Music is scientifically able to change your emotion based on certain chord progressions...you can actually manipulate how someone feels given the right circumstances.” – Bryan (12:18)
"This is Adele. This is Whitney Houston. This is whoever. Yeah. So they get these fucking young kids wrapped up in this craziness.” (17:53)
"This is just as good as any popular music that's out there today...You are totally mesmerized." (15:37; 17:41)
“Hey, girl, I’m just thinking about you. Me and the Lord were rolling down the highway. I got my vocational V hanging out...” – Bryan as Carl (28:19)
“Find someone occupying their street, not watching you occupy yours. I have no idea what that means but it sounds good to me.” (21:05)
“Whatever someone’s talking about, they’re not doing, they’re doing themselves. It’s like, thou doth protest too much.” (23:04)
“Was actually having sex with young boys in the original church. And Brian Houston covered it up for years and years and years.” (31:17)
“When we put earthly things in unearthly positions, this always happens. You want to know why? Because people are human.” (32:54)
Bryan, on ‘The Ultimatum’ reality show:
“There’s no real life application for this. This is just a drama. This is just a shit stirring show, which I get it.” (06:55)
On Hillsong’s worship experience:
“He puts it in the middle of a major metropolitan city in Australia and he starts treating it almost like a nightclub... a concert. Multi-million dollar stage productions. It’s mainly music with a charismatic preacher.” (17:53; 18:34)
On megachurch scandal:
“Every single time we talk about a preacher on this show, they’re doing whatever they’re telling everybody else not to do.” – Bryan (47:05)
Bryan as “Carl Lentz”:
“Girl, it’s me, Carl. It’s Big Lentz and Little Lentz. Good Carl, Little Carl. Just here shouting out to you, girl, I got my Yeezys... I got my Chanel scarf wrapped around my vocational V...” (29:13)
Krissy (mid-impression):
“That was a good Carl performance.” (30:39)
Bryan’s summation of Hillsong:
“But that is not the worst of the offenses...Frank Houston, who originally brought the church to Australia from New Zealand, was actually having sex with young boys in the original church. And Brian Houston covered it up for years and years and years.” (31:06)
On religious celebrity:
“Don’t get caught up in these crazy characters who beg for your money." (34:51)
| Timestamp | Segment / Content | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Bryan introduces the “12 episodes in 24 hours” idea & sets up the TCB Classic throwback | | 05:00 | Post-vacation TV catch-up, Netflix’s “The Ultimatum” riff and banter on reality TV relationships | | 10:18 | Explaining the rise and media magic of Hillsong—history and music manipulation | | 15:00 | Hillsong’s “Oceans” song dissected, with live-listening and emotional manipulation analysis | | 19:03 | Hillsong U.S. expansion: Church as nightlife, hiring Carl Lentz, and preacher as celebrity | | 21:05 | Carl Lentz’s “dating advice,” showmanship, and Bryan debuts the infamous “Carl” voice | | 23:03 | The hypocrisy of purity preaching versus personal behavior; buildup to Carl’s scandal | | 28:19 | Full-blown “Carl” voicemail sketch—Bryan improvising cringe-worthy, sleazy preacher voicemails | | 31:06 | Revealing the darker abuse and cover-up history behind Hillsong’s rise and the rebranding of its U.S. branches | | 33:01 | Blue the dog interrupts; reflections on why “earthly idols” always fail | | 34:28 | Krissy and Bryan warn against falling for charismatic megachurch figures; reference to “The Righteous Gemstones” | | 35:51 | “Drunk Preacher” video segment: absurd sermons, miracle stories, comic riffs, and farcical televangelist mannerisms | | 40:03 | Further riffing on the “drunk preacher,” analyzing his look, and more digressions | | 46:07 | Bryan and Krissy circle back to wrap up: reinforcing skepticism about preacher scandals, plugging live events, and joking about their own “pastor” personas | | 47:05 | Signature closing rant: “Every single time we talk about a preacher... doing what they’re telling everyone else not to do.” |
This TCB Classic is a pitch-perfect example of the show’s brand: irreverent, “intentionally half-baked,” and sharp on the intersection of pop culture and scandal. With the real-life Carl Lentz saga as a backdrop, Bryan and Krissy shift seamlessly between satirical commentary, reality TV mockery, and unhinged character improv. Listeners are left with laughter, a reminder about the dangers of “celebrity religion,” and (if new) a pretty killer impression of why the TCB crew is the “Cheesecake Factory of comedy podcasts.”
For more:
"Best to you, and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we always say, we do say, we must say... Bye." (49:08)