TCB Infomercial: Nurse Blake

Summary

The Commercial Break: TCB Infomercial — Nurse Blake

Episode Date: June 24, 2025
Guests: Nurse Blake
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Commercial Break’s “Infomercial Tuesday” welcomes Nurse Blake—viral comedian, former Level 1 trauma nurse, advocate, and internet sensation. Bryan and Krissy dive into hilarious and heartfelt conversations about life in healthcare, the realities (and absurdities) of nursing, Blake's nationally-touring comedy shows, nurse safety advocacy, and personal stories about family, queerness, and everything in between. The episode features Nurse Blake’s unfiltered wit and candor, blending improv humor with eye-opening commentary on the healthcare system, LGBTQ+ visibility, and the day-to-day trials of nursing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nurse Blake’s Background & Comedy Career

• From Trauma Nurse to Comedy Star:
  • Nurse Blake describes life as a former Level 1 trauma nurse, where he experienced the chaos and stress of ER work, often seeing patients at their lowest moments.
  • Transitioned from nursing to comedic advocacy, becoming a voice for nurses nationwide, speaking up about working conditions and healthcare absurdities.
• National Comedy Tour:
  • Currently on an 86-city comedy tour, bringing together healthcare workers across the US for nights of community and laughs.
  • Venues are “actual theaters where actual human beings are going to show up.” (Brian, 02:39)

2. Healthcare Anecdotes & Protecting Nurses

• Administering Advice… or Not (06:29–14:54):
  • Bryan asks about his eye sty; Blake jokes about the limitations of being a nurse versus a doctor, reiterating he cannot legally give medical advice, even to family.
  • “We can look at an X-ray where the leg is legit broken in six spots, and the patient could be like, ‘How's the X-ray look?’ And we have to be like, ‘Gotta wait for the doctor.’ How dumb is that?” — Nurse Blake (11:45)
• Nurses as Healthcare’s Backbone:
  • Discussion on how nurses shoulder most of the “hands-on” burden, are under-recognized, and doctors often get disproportionate credit.
  • “We’re out there doing a lot. Doing the most…I’d like, if legally, I can’t even tell my family member…” — Nurse Blake (14:02)
• The Flood of DMs:
  • Hilarious confession about getting sent “rashy dick pics” in his social media DMs, with senders assuming he wants to or can diagnose via photo (15:04).

3. Authentic Experiences: Sexuality, Family, and the South

• Life Shakeups & Personal Growth:
  • Blake discusses his divorce, nomadic current living situation, and embracing self-exploration instead of maintaining a pointless Orlando lease (09:08).
  • “I'm a nomad right now. I don't…I'm homeless. I'm currently unhoused.” — Nurse Blake (08:52)
• Unconventional Family Background:
  • He reveals his family’s quirks (parents are swingers, two cousins married), experiences with gay conversion therapy, and choosing to go no-contact with his parents due to their lack of acceptance (32:18–34:53).
  • “It’s so bad…Our family tree is so fucked. Like, it's not… There's no limbs.” — Nurse Blake (33:00)
  • On gay conversion therapy: “It’s just sad that it’s still, like, legal today…doesn’t work.” (34:53–35:24)
• Advocating LGBTQ+ Acceptance:
  • Bryan shares a touching story about his daughter’s acceptance of LGBTQ+ identities, leading to a candid, supportive discussion (36:05–37:47).
  • “You don’t choose who you love. You love who you love. And that’s okay.” — Bryan (37:13)

4. Reality of Working in Healthcare

• ER Realism in TV: “The Pit” vs. Grey’s Anatomy (17:48–19:06):
  • The discussion turns to the authenticity of medical dramas. Blake and the hosts agree that “The Pit” is exceptionally realistic compared to the soap opera antics of “Grey’s Anatomy.”
  • "It's the most accurate description of medicine, especially in today's age...They talk about all the real issues that we face, like the ethical dilemmas.” — Nurse Blake (18:35)
• Nurse & Patient Safety: (21:42–26:14)
  • Blake highlights the dangers nurses face, recalling near-violent incidents in the ER.
  • “It’s not a felony to hit or abuse a nurse… and nurses get hit, we get bit, we get slapped, we get punched. It's insane.” — Nurse Blake (21:53)
  • Points out lack of security in hospitals and the double-standard compared to air travel, where staff safety is legally protected. Calls for legislative change and public awareness.
  • “There needs to be huge legislation push to make this happen. So it's just, it's really unfortunate and sad. So all the nurses out there, always protect yourself, be careful.” — Nurse Blake (25:34)

5. Nurse Empowerment & Community

• Speaking Out for Nurses:
  • Blake describes becoming a mouthpiece for other nurses, as hospital systems often silence their staff (26:28–27:29).
  • “You will never see a nurse doing an interview…Like, they put fear in us that if we say anything against them, like, we’re gone.” — Nurse Blake (27:15)
• Building a Nurse Community:
  • Nurse Blake’s shows draw groups and generations of nurses (from students to retirees): “They rent out party buses of all ages…Just giving them a night to drink and have fun and have a blast.” (30:22)
  • Founded the conference Nurse Con at Sea—a massive annual cruise for 3,500 nurses (31:41).

6. Touring Stories & Nurse Culture

• Rowdy Crowds and Party Vibes:
  • A Nurse Blake comedy show is a unique, high-energy affair, both for nurses and non-nurses. Nurses “party hard” and theater crews are always surprised it’s not a TED Talk but a wild celebration (31:04–31:17).
  • “If you are in an emergency, they ain't going to be at the hospital…better have the ambulance drop you off at the theater.” — Nurse Blake (42:07)
• Iconic Tour Moments:
  • Only once has there been a real medical emergency at a show—a nurse fainting from alcohol and high altitude, quickly helped by “2,000 tipsy nurses” (42:44).
• Best Place to Be Sick:
  • “A thousand, two thousand nurses all trying to play the hero…” — Nurse Blake (43:08)
• On Nurses' Resilience:
  • “We're just in it to help. I mean, that's why we're in it…I think a lot of us have had traumatic experiences growing up…We kind of use it as a mechanism to care for others.” — Nurse Blake (46:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Hospital Priorities:
  “If you complain that your nurse is too ghetto or too gay…you’re not sick enough to be in the hospital.” — Nurse Blake (00:00)

• On Gay Conversion Therapy:
  "It’s just sad that it’s still, like, legal today…doesn’t work. Take your money, you’re born the way you’re born. Even if I wasn’t born gay, like, I’m still gonna choose it, you know? Like, I love dick so much.” — Nurse Blake (34:53–35:36)

• On Family Acceptance:
  “Mom, why are you mad? We have so much in common.” — Nurse Blake (35:36)

• On Medical Dramas:
  "Grey’s Anatomy…all that bullshit…But The Pit’s different…they talk about all the real issues that we face." — Nurse Blake (18:35–18:53)

• On Airline Safety vs. Hospitals:
  "…in the airline industry…there are standards that that plane has to fly with the appropriate amount of staff. In healthcare, there’s no rulebook.” — Nurse Blake (24:01)

• On Being the Community’s Voice:
  "I try to be. I'm not the best voice out there. I have a little lisp at times…But I think it's important." — Nurse Blake (27:23)

• On Crowd Energy:
  “Always at my shows, the alcohol goes…Oh yeah, you know it’s a Nurse Blake show.” — Nurse Blake (30:49)

• On Nurse Humor:
  “When you ask, like, 'What's your pain on a scale 0 to 10?' They're like, 'It’s 18.' I'm like…” — Nurse Blake (41:24)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:00] Bold opening quote from Nurse Blake about nurse authenticity and patient complaints
• [02:19] Bryan introduces Nurse Blake, his impact, and upcoming tour
• [06:12] Nurse Blake joins; discussion of “sty in the eye” and the limits of nursing advice
• [09:08] Blake discusses post-divorce life and his nomadic lifestyle
• [11:45] Rules about nurses giving medical advice and frustrations with the system
• [13:21] “Doctors get all the credit” and the nurse's on-the-ground role
• [15:04] Hilarious tangent about getting sent “rashy dick pics” in DMs
• [18:15] Conversation about realism in the show “The Pit” and medical TV authenticity
• [21:53] Nurse safety, lack of felony protections, ER dangers, and calls for legislation
• [26:26] Transition from hospital clinician to nurse advocate and internet voice
• [30:22] Describing the high-energy, community-building Nurse Blake tours
• [31:41] Mention of Nurse Con at Sea—an all-nurses cruise conference
• [33:00] Family tree revelations; humor and pain in family dynamics and conversion therapy
• [36:05] Bryan shares story on his daughter and open-minded parenting
• [38:43] Pride events and advocacy for LGBTQ+ healthcare visibility
• [41:06] Assessing pain and the comic absurdity of “pain scales”
• [42:44] The only medical emergency at a Nurse Blake show
• [44:34] Story: Responding to a flight emergency (just too many gummies!)
• [46:38] How nurses’ empathy is rooted in lived trauma, the importance of diversity in healthcare

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Tone & Style

The episode is marked by irreverent banter, honest storytelling, comfort with taboo topics, and deep empathy. Nurse Blake’s humor is both biting and warm, unashamedly queer, and always rooted in advocacy for nurses and patients alike. Bryan and Krissy’s blend of genuine curiosity and self-deprecating comedy keeps the conversation buoyant—moving fluidly from outrageous nurse tales to sincere discussions of family, representation, and systemic change.

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Final Takeaways

• Nurse Blake brings the real—and the ridiculous—of healthcare to the comedy stage, passionately representing a profession often overlooked and overburdened.
• Nurse safety and patient care are deeply linked; legislative action and public support are needed to protect those who protect us.
• The nurses’ community is fiercely loyal, outspoken, and deserving of laughter and respect.
• Personal authenticity—in professional and social life—can be both healing and hilarious.

If you want both the chaos and camaraderie of the hospital floor—served with a shot (or three) of comedy—catch Nurse Blake’s tour or tune in for his next dose of nurse realness.

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Transcript

[Nurse Blake]

If you complain that your nurse is too ghetto or too gay, if you care about how we act, how we look, how we talk, how we dress, you're not sick enough to be in the hospital.

[Brian Green]

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

[Nurse Blake]

I'm staying at air. Like right now. I'm at an Airbnb in San Diego until Saturday, and then I gotta just choose another place.

[Brian Green]

Why?

[Nurse Blake]

That's a great question. So I recently got divorced. And when I say recently, I mean two years ago.

[Brian Green]

I got divorced and I said recently for seven years.

[Nurse Blake]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

So there you go. It just sounds better. For some reason.

[Nurse Blake]

It sounds better. But then when I'm. When I'm like, on a date or I'm like, oh, I got divorced years ago.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So in the past.

[Brian Green]

The adjective fits the situation.

[Nurse Blake]

That's right. It really does. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chrissy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Best to you, Brian.

[Brian Green]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on a TCB infomercial Tuesday with Internet provocateur, influencer and comedian Nurse Blake.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I love him.

[Brian Green]

I've been watching him for a while on the lines. On lines.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He's so funny.

[Brian Green]

He is very funny. He's a former practicing trauma 1 level 1 trauma nurse, meaning he would see you when your eyeballs were popping out, literally hanging out of your head, and he would be the first person to assess what was going on and help you through that trauma. So this is like a true angel on earth here. But he has turned into kind of a mouthpiece for other nurses around the country. He's built a huge community. Millions of people online follow him because he's saying the things that they won't or can't say about health care and the safety of our doctors and nurses and hospitals in general, healthcare system. System in general, about the actual physical safety of these people and how they're getting accosted and attacked and all that good stuff. I am looking forward very much to this conversation because I have a sty in my eye and I want him to tell me what to do about.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The sty because no one ever asked him medical questions.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, I'm sure that never happens. I'm sure that never happens. So it'll be the first question I ask him. We'll get it out of the way, and then we'll talk to him about all the other things, he's about to start an 86 city tour. 86 cities, wow. That's. I know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I was looking at his tour dates and it's incredible. Goes on and on.

[Brian Green]

We were going to do two cities and we were acting as if the world was ending. How was I going to pack for both cities at the same time? How are we going to get there? Who's going to show up? That didn't happen. So anyway, don't worry about all that jazz. I don't want to get you all muddled and confused. He has an actual tour in actual theaters where actual human beings are going to show up. And I'm sure it's a fucking party because I've known some nurses, I've dated a few. They are. They don't shy away from hanging out and having fun.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Loose.

[Brian Green]

Well, yeah, when you have that three day stress, four day off kind of like schedule and just the stress that.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You'Re under, you got to let out.

[Brian Green]

Some steam, the immense amount of pressure and all the things that you see and you lose patience. You must lose patience. Right. People survive. People don't survive despite your best efforts. That's got to be a real psychological mind fuck.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I know. I want to ask him about the Pit too, because we love that show.

[Brian Green]

Definitely ask him about the Pit. I'm interested to know. I've read a lot of people online, a lot of doctors and nurses online, comments on the Pit, and almost unanimously say that it is the most realistic version of what happens in an emergency room they have ever seen on, on screen. And I'm interested to know if Nurse Blake feels the same way. I'm sure he does, but we'll ask him, of course. Anyway, I've got links to his social media, I've got links to buy tickets to his tour. In some cities, they're limited or sold out. And he's not playing small rooms either. No, he's in Atlanta. He's playing the Symphony Hall.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's crazy. It's huge.

[Brian Green]

It's huge. It's like 3,500 seats or something like that. It's huge. But we also do have like a huge. A lot of hospitals, a lot of.

[Nurse Blake]

Healthcare workers, and a lot of level.

[Brian Green]

One trauma, a lot of healthcare workers here in Atlanta. It's a big city with a lot of hospitals and a lot of people working in the health care industry like any large city is. But it's those smaller cities that really get fucked. Because if you have to drive three hours to get the kind of medical care you need that can't be fun. So there's all kinds of things that are broken with the health care system. Really. Everything in general is broken. But Nurse Blake seems to be one of the voices.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, he's giving us a little comic relief.

[Brian Green]

Comic relief. And he's shouting into the void about some of the things that need to be changed and a laugh along the way. He seems like a very affable dude, so I'm very much looking forward to this conversation. Let's do this. Let's take a short break and when we get back through the magic of tele podcasting, Nurse Blake right here in our own little studio in north of Atlanta, and we can talk to him about all. All the things. What do you think?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I think we should do it.

[Brian Green]

We're taking a break and we'll be back.

[Rachel]

Why don't you text us and we can text back and then you can text us in reply then so on. It's a fun little game I've been playing and I think you'll be great at it. 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You could leave a message too. If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show. But be warned, the pay is not great. You could go to the website and drop us an email. Also tcbpodcast.com and while you're there, you can get a free sticker. Who doesn't want a free sticker? Just go to the contact us button and ask for one. Follow us on insta at the commercial break and watch the [e-mail] the commercial break. Now I'm going to go back to that texting game you want to play. Come on. Bye.

[Brian Green]

And the nurse is in. Chrissy, Nurse Blake is here with us now.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Hello and welcome.

[Brian Green]

Hi.

[Nurse Blake]

Thanks so much for having me.

[Brian Green]

Thank you very much for being here. We're grateful for your time today. Let me do what I'm sure every obnoxious other person in your life does and ask you about my personal health. I'm gonna ask you a question about my personal health. I have a sty in my eye. How do I get. How do I take care of this?

[Nurse Blake]

I get those all the time.

[Brian Green]

Do you? This is my first ever.

[Nurse Blake]

My first ever size all the time. They're painful and they just. They're. They're so annoying. They hurt. They're not cute.

[Brian Green]

No. I woke up and my eye was almost swollen shut and I was. And so I ran to get chamomile tea. My wife's like, get chamomile tea. So I'm dipping, like, a baby washcloth in a chamomile tea and soaking it on my eye. It's just not a good look. And it hurts like a son of a bitch.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like, warm compress. Right.

[Nurse Blake]

I had a show in Seattle and I woke up that morning with a sty in my eye. I was like, I'm gonna have to walk out with sunglasses on or something.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so what did you do? How do you handle it?

[Nurse Blake]

So this is a great question and I think a really great point. So I am a nurse. I'm not a doctor.

[Brian Green]

Right.

[Nurse Blake]

So we really can't give any type of advice. Fair enough to say, like, go see your doctor. Okay, but isn't that so annoying? Because, like.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But what would you do?

[Nurse Blake]

We know more. I can't even tell you.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Can't say that either. Wow.

[Brian Green]

Okay, so let me ask you this. This is.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

This is a medication.

[Brian Green]

There is a medic. You can take antibiotics, I read, but you have to go see your doctor, obviously, to get antibiotics, and that's only in cases where it's, like, bad and stubborn and they see a need to do that. I understand from my chat GPT, my personal doctor, that it'll go away on its own if it's not particularly terrible.

[Nurse Blake]

I prefer Chad GPT as a doctor over WebMD, if you have those two.

[Brian Green]

Yes. My brother works in the medical AI business. He sells medical AI software, and it does amazing things. And he told me, he said, bro, every doctor you have either does or will be consulting AI on anything that you do. When you walk in the door, they're going to feed it all of your past prescriptions, all of your history, and they're going to give the symptoms, and then AI is going to make a recommendation. The doctor's only there to make sure AI is not going crazy. And I'm like, your brother probably sounds rich. He is, by the way.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, he is rich. Single. He's gay.

[Brian Green]

Listen, I don't want to speak for my brother, but I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

He could be persuaded.

[Brian Green]

He could be persuaded. I think he could be persuaded. Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

This is great.

[Brian Green]

We come from a very liberal family. We could all be persuaded.

[Nurse Blake]

This is great news.

[Brian Green]

Like, you're probably rich, too, so the two of you together could probably. You probably have more money than we do.

[Nurse Blake]

I'm a no nomad right now. I don't. I'm homeless. I'm currently unhoused.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Nurse Blake]

Why? I'm staying at Air. Like, right now, I'm at an Airbnb in San Diego until Saturday, and then I got to just choose another place.

[Brian Green]

Why?

[Nurse Blake]

That's a great question. So I recently got divorced, and when I say recently, I mean two years ago.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

I got divorced, and I said recently for seven years. So there you go. It just sounds better for some reason.

[Nurse Blake]

It sounds better. But then when I'm, like, on a date, or I'm like, oh, I got divorced years ago.

[Brian Green]

The adjective fits the situation.

[Nurse Blake]

That's right. It really does. And, you know, I haven't really focused on myself, and I want to travel a lot more. I'm on the road every year for five months, so I'm like, why am I paying for rent in Orlando? But I'm not even there.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Nurse Blake]

Makes sense. I'm going to travel and explore a little bit.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'm sorry about the divorce. Yeah. Good for you. I think.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Sounds. Sounds fun to me.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah. To try out different cities, different places. Why not?

[Nurse Blake]

And thank you for congrats on the divorce.

[Brian Green]

I appreciate it. Yeah. Listen, I. When I got divorced, I also, you know, had multiple places over years that I stayed because I didn't feel like I needed to be pinned down. Now I was in the Atlanta area. Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

Her couch, to be honest.

[Brian Green]

A lot of couches. I started off in the bed, I ended up on the couch. You know how it goes. Blake started off on the bed, ended up on the couch. At some point, made it to a cab, usually. Sometimes after breakfast, but on occasion before it was even offered. But, yeah, that's. Listen, I think. Why would you pay rent? Paying someone else's mortgage? So that eventually you'll probably settle down with someone or somewhere that you want to be, but go feel that out.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And Orlando, I'm going to talk to.

[Nurse Blake]

Your brother after this and be like, bro, like, where do we want to be? Yes. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I. Listen, I will hook you up with my brother. He's cute. He's single. I mean, he's not single, actually, to be honest with you. He just got engaged. But he. But I think. No, I'm kidding.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

When did that happen? Well, he started dating someone.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Anytime he starts dating someone, all of a sudden. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's what happens. He's one of those. He's one of those you. When you say you can't give medical advice. And I'm going to ask you this in all seriousness, I imagine. I understand that at some point an agent or an attorney talked to you and said, hey, you're going to get in trouble, someone's going to sue you if you say something on your page and they take that medical advice and something bad happens to them. So please, do us a favor, be the funny Blake, but don't give medical advice. Is that correct? Am I correct about that?

[Nurse Blake]

So, yeah, it's even more so now, right, Because I am licensed. I am a licensed registered nurse. Right. I could get that taken away at any point. But even back when we're in nursing school, you know, doctors are the ones to diagnose and prescribe. Nurses, we, we care for and we can treat, but we can't. Like, we can look at an X ray where the leg is legit broken in six spots, and the patient could be like, how's the X ray look? And we have to be like, gotta wait for the doctor. How dumb is that?

[Brian Green]

It's dumb.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I see a nurse for my primary care.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's a, that's a nurse practitioner.

[Nurse Blake]

Practitioner.

[Brian Green]

And they can prescribe, right?

[Nurse Blake]

Diagnose and prescribe. They could treat your stye.

[Brian Green]

See that? And that's what you get sometimes when you go to the urgent clinics. A lot of times nurse practitioners are running it. My opinion is, and having dated nurses and known a few, my opinion is, and seen lots of nurses in different medical situations, we've all been in a hospital or whatever, that the nurses seem to be running the show.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

With a lot more knowledge and understanding than even some of the doctors. And the doctor is simply there. I don't even know how to say this.

[Nurse Blake]

It's like to stamp approval.

[Brian Green]

To stamp approval. It's, you know, it's. I don't know what a good comparison is in a, in a profession, but the nurses seem to be the people who really are the ones on the ground getting their hands dirty at all times and figuring it out and taking your blood pressure and seeing you when you first walk in and all your symptoms and then the doctor comes in like a hero, writes a prescription, you feel better. But it's really the nurses did. The nurses. And I know they do because I've dated a few. The nurses feel this way too.

[Nurse Blake]

Right? The doctors get all the credit for the most. Or Jesus.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, right.

[Nurse Blake]

Weeks saving someone's life doing chest compressions. And the family's like, oh, thank you, Lord Jesus. What about me? You're like, you could be gay. Jesus. We've both been nailed by a few guys, so, yeah, that's a good one. But yeah, you know, nurses, we are there with the patients the most, you know, love our doctors. They're. They're really overworked and, you know, short staffed, but they are paid well.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

Yes, better than us, relatively. But yeah, nurses, we're out there doing a lot. Doing the most, I could say. But we love our patients. We absolutely love what we do. But, yeah, I'd like, if legally, I can't even tell, like, my family member. If legally my family member, like, if they had a headache, like, I can't be like, oh, here's. Yeah, you know, Right.

[Brian Green]

Like, this is convenient for you. Because I also know a few doctors and their number one chief complaint. Take them out for a beer, get them away from everybody. Their number one chief complaint is that I am not only a doctor when I go to the office, but then I'm a doctor to every other human being in my life, and I don't want to say no to them, you know, obviously, like, not when we're talking about, like, prescribing. Prescribing Xanax or pain medication or something like that. But they don't want to be called at all hours of day and night because they happen to be a fucking doctor. It's obnoxious. But you can just say legally, I.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Just get out of it.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, I know. Y' all know how many dick pics I. Sorry. You know how many rashes of dick pics I have in my DMs that people send me all day? Look at this rash.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Really?

[Brian Green]

I can't. I. No way.

[Nurse Blake]

The wildest pictures, like, what is this? Can you tell me this?

[Brian Green]

Do people feel comfortable, like, because you're a gay man and you're. And you're also a nurse, they feel like, let me send him the dick pic. Because he's seen a few dicks and he'll understand what it looks like and what it is that is, like, so assumptive on someone's behalf that they would think that you would want their dick pic just because.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Especially a rashy one.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, a rashy one.

[Nurse Blake]

I've seen way too many dick pics. Speaking of rashy dick.

[Brian Green]

I.

[Nurse Blake]

Most of my stories happen on tour, but I was on tour and I woke up one, and I was touring in the south and I woke up one morning and I had a rash somewhere on my South. Okay, yeah. Shit. Like, what am I gonna do? And I was like, I should go. I should go get it checked out. So I went to, like, the Planned Parenthood. I got an Uber. I didn't tell, like, my family that's on the tour bus with me. I was like, getting my dick checked out.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Sneak into.

[Nurse Blake]

I'm like, oh, I'm getting coff.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I gotta run an errand.

[Nurse Blake]

I sneak to the Planned Parenthood and they check me. And the nurse practitioner brings me back and she's down there doing her assessment. And she's down there for a minute.

[Brian Green]

Oh, no.

[Nurse Blake]

And she looks up at me and goes, are you Nurse Blake? Oh, no.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You were recognized.

[Nurse Blake]

Is she? Yes, I was.

[Brian Green]

And I was like, no.

[Nurse Blake]

No, I'm not.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I get that all the time. I get that all the time.

[Brian Green]

You mean that gay nurse online? No, Maga 2024.

[Nurse Blake]

Exactly. It's like, no. Turns out it wasn't STI.

[Brian Green]

Well, that's good.

[Nurse Blake]

Thank you. It was allergic reaction. Little contact dermatitis from Tide laundry detergent. Oh, yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You got to get the free and clear.

[Nurse Blake]

I'm telling you, it was. My lesbian cousin was on tour with me and she did my laundry and so she put my shit in Tide. Not free and clear. So I got my rash for my lesbian cousin. Okay.

[Brian Green]

What in down, blame tied or the lesbian cousin? One of the two. You are. Did you practice nursing in Orlando? Is that where you work?

[Nurse Blake]

I practice everywhere. God, I worked. Were you a Traveling Nurse, Level 1 Trauma Center? No, it was my ex, kind of. He couldn't, like, really keep a job anywhere, so he, like, moved me around the country. So I wish I was a travel nurse because they make loads of money. They do.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I've had some friends that did that.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

And so you were paying all the bills. Okay, this is good. You're level one trauma nurse, so you are a. No shit. You are in the wor. You are having the worst day of your life, and nurse Blake is the first face you're gonna see. And you're there to triage the situation and make sure that you stabilize patients. So you're really seeing people in terrible. Having terrible days. I mean, all kinds of stuff. But. But in the worst of the worst, you're having a terrible day. Life and death. So have you watched the Pit?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, we love the Pit.

[Nurse Blake]

He's so fun. He is Noah Wylie. Yes, Yes.

[Brian Green]

I even have to admit he's a handsome gentleman. He's a good looking guy, Noah, and he fits that role so well.

[Nurse Blake]

And he's so sweet. And his mom was a nurse, like, in real life.

[Brian Green]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Nurse Blake]

It is an incredible show. It's the most accurate description of medicine, especially in today's age. Like Grey's Anatomy. Like all that Bullshit.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's why I didn't want to watch that show at first, because I was like, I don't need another Grey's Anatomy. But.

[Nurse Blake]

Right. I thought the same thing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But the Pit's different.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, it's good. They talk about all the real issues that we face, like the ethical dilemmas we have, and it's a really incredible show. So if you. If you need more respect on medical professionals and you don't see them in your real life, watch the. Watch the Pit.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. So that's that. That leads me to a question, which is the Pit seems extraordinarily realistic, and I am not a fan of medical dramas, mainly because that Grey's Anatomy bullshit. It's a soap opera. Yeah. And it lasts for 15 years, and it's like they're rehashing, and it doesn't really get into the nitty gritty, where this is very subtle and nuanced interplay with the personalities, but they're dealing with the very real things that are going on in an emergency room. And even I know, I've never worked in one. You get profound respect for what's going on. Are when they're talking that jargon, which. I now know how to do a tracheotomy.

[Nurse Blake]

No, I don't. I just. I don't want you to try on me. No.

[Brian Green]

But is when they're talking that jargon, is that how it actually happens in an emergency room? You're going back and forth, talking that fast, assessing.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And patients are in the hallway.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, it's quick.

[Nurse Blake]

Oh, patients are in these hospitals. They say they're nonprofit, but they want their money, and they will. If they don't have a room for you, they will put you in the fucking hallway. You know, to. To get that admit, which is absolutely. It's insane. But, yeah, like, the ERs, people wait. God, over 24 hours I worked in the ER in Houston, Texas, and, God, it was up to, you know, 22 hours just waiting in the hall. But you get the person with a stubbed toe that's like, come see me. I'm like, right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No, no.

[Nurse Blake]

There's an order of triage. Yeah, triage. Right, Exactly.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. I think that there are three types of people in this world, right? There are those that never go to the doctor. Like, their eyeball could be hanging out. And they'll say, it'll get better tomorrow. I'll fix it myself. There are the kind that are rational human beings that say, this is an emergency. Like, I'm bleeding a whole bunch, or I broke A leg or whatever. And then that's the reason to go to the emergency room. And then there are the type that are just we. And we all know they're overdramatic. And everything in every situation requires some level of medical attention. And you're like, dude, honestly, your hair hurts. That's not a medical emergency, bro. You've taken too much of your medication.

[Nurse Blake]

You are talking about my brother. I love my brother so much. He has had stage 6 cancer for years.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

You're not dying. It's fine. You're so fine.

[Brian Green]

Christine. Yeah, go ahead. No, no, no, you, please. No, it's your turn. Please.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We were talking about nurse safety. That was something that they talk a lot about on the pit. And I know you're involved in some legislation. Maybe tell us more about that.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, so it is not a felony to hit or abuse a nurse.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's crazy.

[Nurse Blake]

And nurses get hit, we get bit, we get slapped, we get punched. And it's insane. Hospitals don't provide enough security. Right. You know, and the ERs are like, the most drama, family drama that can happen is going to be in an emergency room. Like, you get the victim and the perpetrator right of the injury. Like, many times when I worked at a level one trauma center in Houston, we would get the drunk driver who created the crash next to the victim.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

In the next car.

[Nurse Blake]

We're treating them right in the next room, and their families come and it's like fights break out, like, wow. It's very unsafe environment. The fact that hospitals can't provide even metal detectors before people come into the er, they're like, the hospitals are like, well, how would patients feel if we made them walk through a metal detector? I don't know. Safe?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

I don't know. Disney. Walt Disney World has fucking metal detectors. And that's the happiest place. Like, what's the problem?

[Brian Green]

Yes. Walt Disney has the most advanced security systems known to man. They're way more than metal detectors. They're checking for biochemicals and all this other stuff. And I think that providing the people who save our lives and any like. Like I just said, you're having your worst day. If you're seeing Nurse Blake at a level one trauma center, that is not good. Yeah, it's not good. And so who fucking cares if your uncle has to go through the metal detector or leave his gun in the car?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

It makes sense.

[Brian Green]

Who cares?

[Nurse Blake]

Like, it's so basic. And there was a nurse in Florida, she got. She got beat so hard. She, like, so close to losing her eyesight.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Nurse Blake]

And it's. And the hospitals are just like, well, what could you have done better? Like, what are you talking about? Number one, we're extremely understaffed. You know, where a nurse should only be caring for three patients at the max, we're getting eight or nine. And it's. It's not just unsafe for us, it's unsafe for the patient.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

I think there's a lot of awareness of the general public. If we're saying it's unsafe, it's also not good for you. It's not good for any of this. But you know what's so crazy is I always compare it to the airline industry. You know, before plane takes off, you always have to have. Have two pilots and a certain number of flight attendants. Doesn't matter if the plane is packed or you only got one passenger on that plane. There are standards that that plane has to fly with the appropriate amount of staff. In health care, there's no rulebook.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Wow.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

So these hospitals cut corners and sit like lives are literally on the line.

[Brian Green]

And I'm sure lives are lost in certain situations because I'm sure.

[Nurse Blake]

Of staffing.

[Brian Green]

Of staffing. Right. And one of the things that I. This is weird that you bring up the airline thing, because when I was talking to Chrissy, I said it's a federal offense not to follow a flight attendant's request. It's a federal offense. You can go to jail and you may have a felony charge. And so why wouldn't we do this for our nurses and our doctors Working in the busiest of places, when you have a mass casualty event like they showed on the pit.

[Nurse Blake]

Right.

[Brian Green]

It's chaos the most. And these people are saving lives at a rapid clip, making decisions left and right. And they have the knowledge to do that. And the best that we can offer them is the ability to feel like they have the. They have the space to do that safely. And I think it's outrageous that anyone for any reason would say no, that's not reasonable thing to ask. Why? Why? I mean, it's just crazy.

[Nurse Blake]

So basic. It's so standard. So yeah, there needs to be huge legislation push to. To make this happen. So it's just, it's really unfortunate and sad. So all the nurses out there, always protect yourself, Be careful.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

What can we do to help that legislation get through, like just on a local level.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, I mean, that's a great point. I mean, they've really tried to fight for when it comes to like safe patient ratios and stuff. I think California, I believe they're one of the few states that have that. But definitely look in your state to see if they have safe staffing at your local hospitals, because even as a patient or just a community member, that's really important for you. And just fighting for, you know, the safety of healthcare workers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Exactly.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

That's great. Call your senator or your representative and please help us.

[Nurse Blake]

Yes.

[Brian Green]

Did this. Did this all start? Were you acting as. Are you still practicing nursing?

[Nurse Blake]

So I don't work in a hospital anymore.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Nurse Blake]

Because they don't like my mouth. It became a problem when I first started being a little more just sharing my thoughts and experiences online about healthcare. It was back in 2017. I was working at a large hospital system there, and HR was like, no, like, you can't do that. And I was like, yes, yes, yes, I can.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

So, you know, I'm in a position where I'm able to say and feel comfortable with speaking up on issues and matters that other nurses who, you know, have to work at a hospital system or work at hospital systems can't speak up. They don't let us. You will never see a nurse doing an interview. You will never see a hospital allowing a nurse spokesperson. Like, they keep our mouths so tight shut. Like, they put fear in us that if we say anything against them, like, we're gone.

[Brian Green]

That's unbelievable.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

So you're their voice.

[Nurse Blake]

You're the voice I try to be. I'm not the best voice out there. I have a little lisp at times.

[Brian Green]

But, you know, I try, but I think it's important. And especially as we ran into 2020, when the world needed nurses and doctors more than ever, these became our heroes. And yet there's, you know, 20% of the population instantly becomes nudniks and colloidal silver and, you know, I don't know.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Bleach in the veins.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. And there's crisis actors and all this other stuff. They become absolutely insane overnight. Then nurses are really in danger and needed. Needed and in danger. Right. And so they needed a mouthpiece more than ever. Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

We are trying to help you. We're trying to save your life. So please. And it's the people that, you know, they get their medical advice on Facebook or get their medical advice from a politician who has no medical degree whatsoever. It's all about politics. And they come to the hospital and they want our opinion, and we give our opinion, and they're like, no, I saw this on Facebook. It's like, lady, lady, lady, lady.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You know how Incense, does that make you. It must, like, in the deepest level, just drive you crazy.

[Nurse Blake]

It's really. Yeah. And nurses, we. We definitely feel that, especially during COVID when we're trying to keep other people safe. But you hear all this. This. These fake treatments and, you know, essentially fake news. It becomes so frustrating and so belittling because. And it hurts people. Like, people die.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yes, of course.

[Nurse Blake]

We became healthcare workers, so we can save lives. Unless you're a hospice nurse, then that would not be the gold there.

[Brian Green]

Right.

[Nurse Blake]

But most all nurses we want to save, you know, and care for other people. So it's just really sad to see that happen.

[Brian Green]

So you. I would imagine you have a huge following of nurses. You go city to city, and the nurses come out and they, you know, they love Nurse Blake because a Nurse Blake can say the things that they don't feel they have the leverage to say because they need their jobs. Right. They need to put food in their mouths and their family's tables. So you must be absolutely adored by most nurses. I would imagine you've built this little family of, like, it's so interesting to me, this niche of nursing, which is not really a niche. There's hundreds of thousands or a million nurses out there, but you've kind of garnered this, like, whack pack of nurses that love you so much. That must feel very gratifying to feel like you've found your voice in this community by speaking on behalf of this community.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah. You know, I never got into nursing or went to nursing school to tell jokes or comedy or, you know, of course, learn how to put a show together. It was just natural, you know, it just happened over time, and it's kind of built over the past few years, but there's a lot. There's like, 5 million nurses in this country now, and it's so cool to see them come out. They come out in big groups, so they all make T shirts. They rent out party buses of all ages. There's, like, nursing students who are 18, laughing their ass, retired nurse in their 80s. Or I'll have, like, a generation of nurses come where it's like the son and the mom and the grandma. We're all in healthcare. And that, to me, is, like, very cool. The coolest thing ever. Like, it's so special to me. So just giving them a night to drink and have fun and have a blast. It's really fun. And always at my shows, the alcohol goes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, theaters.

[Nurse Blake]

Oh, yeah. You know, it's a Nurse Blake show. They're, like, bringing that. Yeah, I love it. Here we go.

[Brian Green]

Talking to you. I really want to go to a Nurse Blake show. I mean, I'm not a nurse, but I really want to go to a Nurse Blake show. Because I've known since party at the show. They party.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Nurse Blake]

Are so loud. It's so funny because if I go to a theater I've never been before, their crews are always like, like, what is this gonna be, like some sort of, like, TED Talk?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

I'm like, what? And then after the show, they're like, oh, my God, it was so loud. It was like. Because the nurses get so into it, and so it's a blast. So. And even if you're not in healthcare, I'm gonna break everything down for you, make it really easy for you to understand. And they're. They're really fun. And from the comedy shows, I realized that nurses want to even hang out more, you know, learn together and interact. So I developed a conference called Nurse Con at Sea.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's what I was going to ask you about. Yeah.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

We do it every year. We take over a whole cruise ship.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Nice.

[Nurse Blake]

And charter a whole ship. 3,500 nurses.

[Brian Green]

Jesus.

[Nurse Blake]

And it is so much fun.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, I can only imagine.

[Brian Green]

I.

[Nurse Blake]

This.

[Brian Green]

This is amazing. You have taken your. What I would imagine that your family would say was very humorous and interesting personality as a child.

[Nurse Blake]

Right, Interesting. I would say very, very, very, very interesting family. You've taken from Florida.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

So it's like, you know, I have two first cousins that are married. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Green]

What?

[Nurse Blake]

My parents are swingers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Nurse Blake]

Conversion therapy. Like. Like, I get into all this shit.

[Brian Green]

Wait, okay, slow down. Hold on one second. Okay. You have two first cousins that are married?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Well, I mean, we're in Georgia, so.

[Brian Green]

I just know that.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, I do. They are very close with each other. Our family tree is so fucked. Like, it's not. There's no limbs. There are no limbs.

[Brian Green]

It's a family weed. It's just. What a family vine.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It's so bad.

[Nurse Blake]

It's like, you know, I joke that they matched on Ancestry.com.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That'S great.

[Brian Green]

Okay. Your parents are swingers.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Do they do the pineapple thing?

[Brian Green]

Do they do the pineapple thing?

[Nurse Blake]

Pineapple thing? They do the pineapple. So if you don't know about the upside down pineapple.

[Brian Green]

Our listeners know we talk about them a lot.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, that's perfect.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

So my parents, all the swingers, parties and stuff all the time.

[Brian Green]

Oh, that's great. I was watching. I'm following These a lot of swingers online. Because I just find this so fascinating and beyond anything in my universe. Like, I am not a puritan by any stretch of the imagination. My life has been quite wild, actually. But swinging is just like, whoa. And I follow these swingers online. They take over cruise ships, they take over resorts.

[Nurse Blake]

They have a blast. They're having a really good time.

[Brian Green]

Of course they do. They're getting laid.

[Nurse Blake]

But what's so wild is that my parents, like, aren't religious. They're, like, swingers. But yet, when I was outed at 15, they sent me to gay conversion therapy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I can't even imagine.

[Nurse Blake]

Like, what. Yeah, like.

[Brian Green]

So I. I'm sorry about that. I mean, your parents, I'm sure. Have they come around? They are now. No, no, no.

[Nurse Blake]

We're. No contact for sure.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

No.

[Brian Green]

Oh. When you said your family was on the bus with you, I thought you meant, like, your mom and dad.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah. So when I consider my family, it's my grandmother, my. My brother, my little nieces, and then a few cousins. Okay, so not the ones that are married.

[Brian Green]

Not the ones.

[Nurse Blake]

Right.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Not those.

[Nurse Blake]

Different, different, different.

[Brian Green]

Well, I know that I. I actually don't know, but I can imagine that must be very difficult.

[Nurse Blake]

And.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, that's. That's really. That's really sad. That's really just sad altogether.

[Nurse Blake]

It's just sad that it's still, like, legal today. Like, yes, they still allow gay conversion therapy to happen. The one that I was a part of was Exodus International program and Huge organization. Huge. Huge. Huge. But they closed their doors probably a little over 10 years ago. It was just so bad. But there's still, like, little local organizations and, you know, religious institutions.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I've read about that. It seems awful.

[Nurse Blake]

Awful. It's awful.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

And it doesn't work, so.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nurse Blake]

And your money.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You're born the way you're born.

[Nurse Blake]

Right, Exactly. Even if I wasn't born gay, like, I'm still gonna choose it, you know? Like, I love Dig so much.

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

Like, I. Even if it was, you know, I'm like, mom, like, why are you mad? We have so much in common. I know.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. What's up, Mom?

[Nurse Blake]

What's the problem?

[Brian Green]

Yeah, we get it. You like dick. I like dick.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

We could talk about this till we're blue in the face. Let's have some drinks and talk about dick moment.

[Nurse Blake]

Same Dad.

[Brian Green]

I ain't got nothing for you, but I'm here.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, it's so great. It's so great.

[Brian Green]

You know, my little one of my middle child who's very young. She's like 4 years old. And the other day she came home and she was washing her hands at the sink, and I was asking her how her day at camp was. I was saying, you know, how's camp? And she goes, oh, it was great. And, you know, and I said, oh, that's great. She asked me, and I said, how was your friend? And she goes, oh, he was great. I'm gonna marry him. And I said, oh, that's great. Whenever you choose to marry, you know, whenever you choose to get married, we'll have. That'll be great. It'll be beautiful. It'll be wonderful. And she goes, daddy, did you know that sometimes a man marries a man and a woman marries a man? A woman. And I go, yeah, I did know that. There's lots of different combinations. And she goes. And I go, that's okay, right? And she said, yeah, that's okay. And I said, you don't choose who you love. You love who you love. And that's okay. And she said, yeah. She goes, so if I marry a woman, no one's gonna be mad about it? And I said, here will be mad about it.

[Nurse Blake]

I love that so much. Number one, she's washing her hands. Yes.

[Brian Green]

There you go.

[Nurse Blake]

She's. She's. Ally. Yes. She might be part of the community.

[Brian Green]

We don't know. We don't know. We don't know.

[Nurse Blake]

Really? Good job.

[Brian Green]

Well, listen, I. This is the first time we've ever had any of our children go down that road. Right. I mean, they see it on television and stuff like that, but they've. They've identified it. And I just think it's so important to let them know that love. Love takes many different forms and fashions, and that they need to understand that it may not be their chosen path, but it doesn't have to be. If it's love and it's not hurting anybody who really cares, it's not your business, and you should be supportive of it and move and move on. It's. You know. And if you choose to love a woman, then whatever.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I mean, speaking of, what are you doing to celebrate the Pride Month?

[Nurse Blake]

That is, like, such a good question. I'm in San Diego right now.

[Rachel]

Okay.

[Nurse Blake]

But I'm not here over Pride, which is, like, super upsetting. So I'm trying to figure out where I want to go.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Atlanta. Atlanta's big.

[Nurse Blake]

When? What's that?

[Brian Green]

It's like, two weeks from now. Yeah. No, I think it's next weekend. So it's. Yeah, it's next week, but there's a huge celebration.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Huge.

[Nurse Blake]

I love Pride. So my very first Pride was LA Pride. And it was so great. I had, like, a little organization I started back when I was in nursing school to end. At the time there was a gay blood ban where, like, gay men. So I, like, started, like, this little, like, movement to get the FDA to end that policy. So I. I rented out a tent and I put it up at LA Pride and I was, like, collecting petition signatures, you know, I love that. So it was. It was my first experience and it was. I love Pride.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Last year, I was at the parade in Seattle, and then there was another one in Vancouver that we happened to run into as well. And it's so much fun. I love it.

[Nurse Blake]

We love Ally. Yeah, I love that. That. I love that.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. Listen, I don't know why anybody gets upset about Pride or gay folks in their community. They are the best partiers. If you're gonna have a party, go there. Pride is the. Pride is the craziest party I have ever been to. By the way.

[Nurse Blake]

We're the best. Like, we carry everyone's personality on our backs. Like, we. Thanking us.

[Brian Green]

You know what I mean?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

You know, 68 city tour, you've been doing this for a while. What can we expect when we come to a Nurse Blake show?

[Nurse Blake]

It's going to be so fun. So this tour is. But did you die? And whole new tour, all new material. Because patients, they'll be like, you didn't answer my call. Light in. In 60 seconds. No, like, but did you die?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

But did you die? Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

No, you didn't.

[Brian Green]

I say that to my kids. They stub their toe and I'm like, did you do that?

[Nurse Blake]

You're not going to die. Did you die? You know, I bet when you got your style, you're like, I know.

[Brian Green]

Exactly.

[Nurse Blake]

It's literally the worst.

[Brian Green]

I am.

[Nurse Blake]

Okay, let me see it.

[Brian Green]

You're like, you can't. It's. I put a compress on it, so it's a little bit better. Yeah, you can see it if you're up close.

[Nurse Blake]

It is.

[Brian Green]

It's really red.

[Nurse Blake]

How's your pain? Zero to ten.

[Brian Green]

I would say this morning it was like a six or seven, but right now it's a three or four because I'm talking seven.

[Nurse Blake]

A seven is like, you got like. Like run over by a terrain.

[Brian Green]

Oh, well, then. No, it was a three or four. Yeah. That's your definition.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

That's your scale. Our scale.

[Brian Green]

My scale's different. But you've seen People with their heads dislocated. Right. I mean, so your version of pain is different than mine? Yeah. I broke my arm.

[Nurse Blake]

Oh, you broke your arm?

[Brian Green]

I broke my arm when I was a kid, and I will tell you that that's something I will never forget.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, me too. Break my leg.

[Brian Green]

I fell out of a tree. I broke my arm. And we were in, like, a Fourth of July block party, and the block party went on and on and on, and my parents put me to bed, and I cried all night long. And it wasn't until the next day that they took me to the hospital to find out that I had a rather large fracture in my arm. And I'll never remember that very long night. And that, to me, is a 10.

[Nurse Blake]

Right?

[Brian Green]

So if that's a 10, my sty was like a. If that's my 10, then I would say the sty is like 3 or 4. Now it's like a 2.

[Nurse Blake]

There we go. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Now there we go.

[Brian Green]

Nurse Blake is teaching me how not to be a fucking baby.

[Nurse Blake]

Here we go. Go. It's always the guys. It's always. It's like. It's a nine. I'm like, okay, so nine is like a pimple on the lip. Like, is that really. That's really painful.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

When you ask, like, what's your pain on scale 0 to 10, they're like, it's 18. I'm like.

[Brian Green]

Do you.

[Nurse Blake]

We get into all this during my tour. We. We talk about things that family members do that patients do, and how we could really work together to make sure.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We're gonna go.

[Nurse Blake]

Everyone's healthy.

[Brian Green]

We're going to the Nurse Blake show here in Atlanta. We're going to go. We're going to be there because I just. I want to. Now I like you, and now I want to go and just see you do your thing.

[Nurse Blake]

And I'll bring my brother nurses.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, bring the brother.

[Nurse Blake]

Okay.

[Brian Green]

All right, that's a deal. Your people are calling my people.

[Nurse Blake]

I love this. This is great. I say, if I'm coming to your city.

[Brian Green]

City.

[Nurse Blake]

All the nurses are going to be at my show. Yes. So if you are in an emergency, you're. They ain't going to be at the hospital.

[Brian Green]

Right?

[Nurse Blake]

So, yeah, you better have the ambulance drop you off at the theater. There have been. I have done some shows in cities where the nurses are, like. The hospital is texting us that they're doing, like, triple pay tonight for people to come.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, really?

[Nurse Blake]

At your show?

[Rachel]

Really?

[Brian Green]

No way. Really?

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Because everybody wants off.

[Brian Green]

Really?

[Nurse Blake]

Everyone wants off? Everyone wants.

[Brian Green]

Here's the question. Has anybody ever had a medical emergency during one of your shows?

[Nurse Blake]

Once.

[Brian Green]

Was it a heart attack?

[Nurse Blake]

Out of 250 shows, one. I'm in the middle of my show, I'm rocking my.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah, you're in the zone.

[Nurse Blake]

And then I hear like, turn on the lights, turn on the lights. And I was just like, ah. But I think, you know, nurses. A thousand nurses. Two thousand nurses in this theater. Like, it's gonna be good, right?

[Brian Green]

Yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

Safest place you could be. But then you're like, everyone had how many trulies. And then you're like, you know, a thousand. Two thousand tipsy nurses all trying to play the hero. Yes. Is like, you know, the ear nurses are going in, checking her out and the person. So they're like, let's check her pulse. She fucking lies. And then they're like, the, the peds nurses are like, this is an adult. Like, we're just going to the bar. But she was fine. She was fine. She had had a little too much to drink. We were at a higher elevation. I was doing my show in like Lake Tahoe.

[Brian Green]

Okay.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Like, okay.

[Nurse Blake]

So she just got a little light headed and passed out a little bit. But she woke. I got off stage and I was down there with her. She woke up and she's like, Blake, she's like, am I in the hospital? Right, girl, I don't work in a hospital no more. But you're giving me great material. Yes. So thank you. Thank you so much.

[Brian Green]

Also, you're giving every other nurse on social media an idea about how they get nurse Blake to come meet them personally. Just drink too much and pass out.

[Nurse Blake]

Pass out. There was a, a flight I was on too. There was a medical emergency and it was so I was ready. Like, I'm like, if I save a life on a flight, people are going to get their phones out. They're going to be filming Hero. Yeah. So after they call, you know, do we have a medical.

[Brian Green]

Do we have a doctor?

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah, yeah, they always do doctor. And it's just like, can they say nurse? And they're like, do we have a dentist? Yeah, veterinarian. And they're like, do we have a nurse? I'm like, yes, yes. So I'm like running down the aisle and I'm like, oh, do I remember cpr? Like, can I? Right, right, right, like, and just had too many gummies.

[Brian Green]

Oh, she was freaking out. She was having a panic.

[Nurse Blake]

This is my one flight emergency. Had too many gummies.

[Brian Green]

Well, I. If you were on My flight, I'd feel much more comfortable. Because you listen, regardless of whether or not you 100% believe everything about medicine.

[Nurse Blake]

Right.

[Brian Green]

You have to admit. And I do, but you have to admit that the nurses and the doctors are the people. And the nurses are the front lines of this. They are the people that save our lives when we are having our worst day.

[Nurse Blake]

And absolutely, we did not get into it for the money. Yeah, clearly.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, you don't get into it for the money. You get into it because there's some deep. I gotta imagine, and you probably won't admit this, but I'll say it for you, there is some deeper. Like, I do believe that nurses are like angels on earth. They are people who have a deep calling to help people. They're empathetic and they're knowledgeable. They want to know what to do when someone is in real trouble. And so regardless of whether or not you believe in science, you should start believing, because next time you have your worst day, you're not going to want one of these pastors telling you to drink Ivermectin. You're going to want Nurse Blake there, because he's the one who has the knowledge about how to save your life.

[Nurse Blake]

We're just in it to help. I mean, that's. That's why we're in it. And I think nurses are a certain personality type, and I brought this up in the past. I think a lot of us have had traumatic experiences growing up in our lives that we kind of want to care for other people because we weren't necessarily cared for. Right. So we kind of use it as a mechanism to, like, care for others.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Right.

[Nurse Blake]

And, yeah, I mean, that's why I'm in healthcare. Right. Is to help other people, especially those in the, you know, LGBTQ community. You know, them seeing, you know, me care for them, they're a little more comfortable. They're willing to share their story and be open and honest.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Nurse Blake]

I always push, you know, more diversity, you know, in healthcare as well. Like, the people that work in the hospital should represent the people that live in that community. Yeah.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Safety and diversity.

[Brian Green]

Yes.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

We need more of it.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah. Yes.

[Brian Green]

Well, I'll tell you a quick story before we let you go. I got a vasectomy because I have way too many children and. And I need to stop procreating. I'm too old for all that shit. So I got a vasectomy. And on the day of my vasectomy, they lay me down on a table, they put a gown over Me. And they cut out. They were the big hole in the middle of it where the. My fucking tiny little cock goes. And the doctor is in there and he's telling me, okay, I'm gonna put you on nitrous and we're gonna give it a few minutes and the nurses will come in and they'll prep. And then there it is. And as is always happens, Blake, the two hottest nurses in the world come in to look at my shriveled up dick while I'm high on medication to prep my penis.

[Nurse Blake]

Is.

[Brian Green]

And. But the good news was, is I was high on nitrous oxide, so it didn't really matter. But I will tell you what. I respect nurses because no matter how many of them, and they always happen to be the hottest nurses in town that look at my penis when it's in its worst condition. They always act professional because that's.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

They don't coil away.

[Nurse Blake]

No.

[Brian Green]

They don't scream in horror.

[Nurse Blake]

We've seen everything. You've seen it all. We've seen. We've had a picture put condom catheters on the tiniest little micro penises. Yes. Sneaking out of the shell.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. You've seen it all, Nurse Blake. You can find him on social media. All the relevant links are in the show notes. 68 city tour. He's coming to Atlanta, I think. We're already going to make plans to go see it. I'll bring my brother. We're going to put him in gay conversion therapy too, but the other way so that you can. So that you can get your rich AI CEO that you've been looking for. Enjoy your nomad life. We'll see you in a couple months. You are certainly welcome back here anytime.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah, seriously. Contact us about Atlanta Pride.

[Brian Green]

Oh, yeah.

[Nurse Blake]

Hell yeah. That'd be awesome. Yeah, that'd be great.

[Brian Green]

I love.

[Nurse Blake]

Well, thank you for having me on, y'. All.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Thank you.

[Nurse Blake]

Thank you.

[Brian Green]

We appreciate it. Talk soon.

[Nurse Blake]

Bye. Bye.

[Rachel]

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at tcb. It's pretty simple. Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute. Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid, too? You know you do. Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-4333. TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can be on the show, too. Just call and say something, anything. Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise. Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker. It's your constitutional right to a sticker. And we must abide. You get the point. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and watch all the episodes on [e-mail] the commercial break. Best to you and Astrid. Especially Astrid.

[Brian Green]

Well, I sure do like that guy. I sure do like that guy.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

I could have talked to him forever.

[Brian Green]

Yeah, he's a ton of fun. I. I wish we had more time with him and hopefully he'll come back. We are definitely going to see Nurse Blake.

[Nurse Blake]

Yep.

[Brian Green]

When he comes because that's gonna be a party. And how sad that he doesn't talk to his parents and all the gay conversion shit. I mean, honestly.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

And it. I mean, the fact that they're swingers doesn't correspond to me.

[Brian Green]

Does not compute in my head. You would think that swingers would be some of the most sexually liberal people.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Open minded.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

I mean, his dad doesn't see dicks all the time. They're swinging. They're in a room full of other people having sex. I mean, I don't know what kind of version of swinging they do, but you know what I'm saying.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

It seems a little weird to me. Seems a little off. Well, that's sad. But it's good to know he's got family around him that does love him. And lots and lots of people out there there adore Nurse Blake. Count me amongst one of them. I don't give a. Who you love. It does not matter to me. No, marry a turtle. I don't care. Yeah, well, don't marry a turtle. I take it too far, but if you love a turtle.

[Nurse Blake]

Cool.

[Brian Green]

We one time talked about a lady who married a roller coaster. And you know what? I don't give a. Marry that roller coaster. That roller coaster gives you good head. Go for it. Gives a shit. He's funny. He's extraordinarily successful. He's got his own cruise, for God's sakes. You don't see the commercial break. Running around doing the commercial break cruise, though. I'd love to do that someday.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

The Jimmy Buffett.

[Brian Green]

Yeah. We'll have to do it on the Margarita ship. The Margaritaville. The worst cruise line in America, quote unquote. By every everybody's standards, it's the worst cruise line. But I think that's the kind of thing we'd have to rent out. They'd probably pay us to do it, actually. Yeah, I would imagine.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

You mean we'd have to pay them?

[Brian Green]

No.

[Chrissy Hoadley]

Oh, they pay us.

[Brian Green]

Because I don't think they're doing so well. They have one cruise ship and it's not good. It's not good. There's lots of. Maybe someday we'll review a review of the Margaritaville cruise ship anyway. And those Carnival cruises are turning into craziness. I see videos all the time. Carnival Cruise has turned into the party cruise. Cruise for people who like us who have no money.

[Nurse Blake]

Yeah.

[Brian Green]

So we need to go on a Carnival cruise. All right. Nurse Blake's information is down below. Tickets to his tour. All the good stuff is right in the show. Notes 212-4333 TCB questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, or if you'd like to see a future live recording here in Atlanta, let us know at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com commercial break for this video online now. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today?

[Nurse Blake]

I think so.

[Brian Green]

I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say goodbye.

[Nurse Blake]

Sa.