Loading summary
Transcript245 lines
- [00:00]
Brian Green
TTCB's endless day. Our big birthday bash is proudly presented with limited commercial interruption by 5 Hour Energy. Spicy Cinco de Mango is a new flavor from the makers of Five Hour Energy, and it is only available at five hour energy.com spicy Cinco de Mango is sweet, it's spicy and a tad unhinged, just like us. And we want to thank five Hour Energy for bringing you this commercial break with limited commercial breaks foreign. On this episode of the commercial break.
- [00:38]
Rachel
Hey, cats and kittens, it's Rachel, and I'll be your tour guide as we all navigate the next 12 hours of tcb's endless day. It's a 12, maybe 13ish episode marathon celebrating five years of mediocre comedy podcasting excellence. Hard to believe we've let these two do this for so long. Let's all talk about it when this is done. So whether you're just getting up or just getting in, we're keeping you company for at least the next 12 hours. Grab some caffeine, load up the carbs, lock the kids in the basement, and ignore the phone. The first hour of our Endless Day starts now.
- [01:16]
Brian Green
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome to TCB Endless Day. I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris, Bestie Brian, and best you out there in the podcast universe. Sounds totally unnatural to do the opening that way. I'm not gonna do that again. I'm just gonna do a regular opening. Yeah, I didn't like that. I didn't like the way that rolled out, but welcome to tcb's Endless Day. Against all odds, I think we've gotten this first one licked. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. We are celebrating five years of the commercial break 700. And by the time we get done with this day, 72 episodes of the commercial break. According to Chad GPT, over 13 million words spoken, 896 hours of the show. Could anybody have ever dreamed. Could anyone have the worst nightmare in the world? And think about the most mediocre comedy podcast you could put out there and then replicate it 772 times? This is quite a feat I think we have accomplished here.
- [02:27]
Chrissy Hoadley
I think so.
- [02:28]
Brian Green
And so let this be our last today. At the end of the day, we're done. I'm over. I'm retired. Well, this is certainly the earliest we have ever recorded.
- [02:36]
Chrissy Hoadley
I was going to say the same thing. Rise and shine, campers.
- [02:39]
Brian Green
Yeah, seriously. And I know we have some people out there who are listening to us because we've had lots of text messages. Thank you very much to everyone who has texted in giving us love and support. I just got a text message from one of our listeners that said, it's perfectly okay if you guys just run TCB Classics next week. And that's good news, because that's exactly what I intend to do. At least one. At least one. I'm not getting back to a regular episode till July 31, for sure. I went to Starbucks this morning a little earlier than I normally show up on a Saturday, and the crew took note of how early I was in. And so I just sat at the end of the little bar there for a second, drinking coffee, having breakfast, which I never do. Never have breakfast. But I thought, I better get some breakfast in me or I'm gonna cut out. Yeah, get a little fuel for the rest of the day. And so I told you that, like, there was one or two people, I think, that are on. I know they're onto it because they've said they're onto it. They know that I do the commercial break, but by and large, no one ever talks to me about it. Like, they don't ask me about it. I don't get a lot of questions. And so my impression was that it was just this one or two people that knew. And even one of the guys said, hey, I won't say anything to anybody. And I'm like, well, it's not that big of a deal. I just don't want to talk about my podcast at Starbucks. Right. This is one of those things that I don't want to do. I talk about it all fucking day long. I don't want to talk about it here. And, okay, so then there's this lovely manager lady who's been there since the day that I walked in the door. She's been there since the store opened, which is, like, I don't know, a decade ago. So she's a very lovely human being. We always have a small, nice conversation every time I go in. So I kind of know her. She kind of knows me. She's in there making the drinks with a couple of other people. It's very early. It's not very busy, sitting at the end of the bar, and I start wrapping up, putting my trash away and getting ready to go. And she goes, hey, Brian, I hope you get some time to yourself today. I hope you get a break. And I said, oh, okay. Thank you. And she goes, I know you got a long day ahead of you. Oh, and winked at me. And I was like, oh, shit, it's official. I have to find a new coffee shop. I can never go back there again.
- [04:48]
Chrissy Hoadley
I know. They seem very respectful of your celebrity status.
- [04:51]
Brian Green
They do. Thank God.
- [04:52]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
- [04:52]
Brian Green
I wouldn't want if they started calling the paparazzi and stuff. I think that would be rather bothers me.
- [04:56]
Chrissy Hoadley
Keep your secret safe within the confines.
- [04:58]
Brian Green
Yeah. I don't even like when Astrid comes in here and takes a picture. She's like, let me take a picture of you guys. And I'm like, I don't like that. I don't want that. I want to be in my own little bubble here.
- [05:06]
Chrissy Hoadley
And then never a little dark bubble.
- [05:08]
Brian Green
The good news is no one's listening to this fucking show. So the truth is that I think the people at Starbucks are the only people who know about our dumb little show. So, five years. What did you expect? What did you not expect? What has surprised you along the way?
- [05:25]
Chrissy Hoadley
Wow. What did I. I did not expect to still be doing this.
- [05:29]
Brian Green
What did you expect at the beginning? Honest. Honest Injun, really.
- [05:33]
Chrissy Hoadley
It was just a fun thing to, like, be a distraction during the pandemic and, you know, all of the craziness that was going on in the world at that time. So I welcomed our. Our once a week. Check him out.
- [05:48]
Brian Green
I know, Seriously.
- [05:50]
Chrissy Hoadley
And first we were doing it over zoom, you know, so it was just like fun, funny, whatever. And then the ball kept rolling.
- [05:58]
Brian Green
The ball just kept rolling and rolling.
- [06:01]
Chrissy Hoadley
Picking up more rubber bands along the way. And, yeah, I mean, I have to say, it has really been quite the lifesaver in many ways. Cause I have gone through some unexpected deaths over these past five years with very close family members. And so I have to say, be, you know, having this purpose to get up and get dressed. Come here, Come laugh.
- [06:27]
Brian Green
Yeah.
- [06:28]
Chrissy Hoadley
With my best friend. You really helped me get through a lot of things.
- [06:33]
Brian Green
I am a hero in a lot of ways to a lot of people. And I know that I won't get the recognition that I deserve, but I'd like to applaud you for saying it out loud that I am a hero.
- [06:43]
Chrissy Hoadley
You are.
- [06:43]
Brian Green
I'm the hero that everyone didn't know they needed. But here I am on the commercial.
- [06:47]
Chrissy Hoadley
Break, just starting a podcast, funny and frustrating and loving and laughing and all this stuff.
- [06:54]
Brian Green
It's been all the things.
- [06:56]
Chrissy Hoadley
I mean, all the things.
- [06:58]
Brian Green
I asked a couple of days ago, who has listened to the commercial break? Every single episode of the commercial break, And a number of people texted in and said, I've been. I'VE listened to every episode. There's a couple that said they started a couple months after we started the show. And then there's a lot that said I started at some point, you know, a couple years in, but I went backwards and I listened to all of the episodes. That's crazy to think that you've listened to 770 episodes of the commercial break. But thank you very much. But origin story, for those who don't know, I started this show as a. When my wife, I think she just got sick of hearing me talk. We didn't have children at the time. We had just gotten married.
- [07:37]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
- [07:38]
Brian Green
And you were just incessantly, incessantly rambling or on the phone talking about commercial real estate or. I just never stopped talking. This is my personality, you know, because you listen to the commercial break. So Astrid said, I think you would be really good at doing, like a video vlog, like a YouTube channel, and you could do it about commercial real estate, because you seem to never stop fucking talking about commercial real estate. And I thought to myself, well, I don't want to be in front of the camera. I really didn't want to be in front of the camera. I like the microphone. The microphone I feel comfortable with because I think I have a face for radio. And I'm just not that interested in looking at myself. I'm barely interested in listening to myself back. But I do talk a lot, so I say, okay, listen. Hey, maybe. And A week later, $1,000 worth of camera equipment, microphones and, you know, stand. Microphone stands and all this shit shows up at the front door. And she's like, let's do this. And so we actually recorded a couple of episodes where I talked about commercial real estate. So bad.
- [08:41]
Chrissy Hoadley
Not riveting, riveting.
- [08:44]
Brian Green
I'm not gonna make you suffer for that. We did that one time and I went back and listened to that recently. It is terrible. It is terrible. Listening to us listen to it is terrible. So I do this, like, you know, 30 minute long show. A couple of them, I put them in the can and they never go anywhere. A year later, in, I think it was December or January of 2020, our friend Allison Hare shout out to Alison.
- [09:13]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes, hello.
- [09:14]
Brian Green
Allison makes a Facebook post that Astrid notices. And it is. I am doing a podcast. Have been doing a podcast for about a year. I'd like to teach others how to do a podcast. If you're interested in joining a class that I'm gonna put together, like a little group, I'm gonna put together on how to launch A podcast, let me know. So I did that. I joined that Astrid again. You know, pushed me out. Like, pushed me out of the nest. Pushed a little bird out of the nest and said, hey, go do this. And so I did that. I joined that group. I knew technically what to do, but I just wasn't, like, I didn't have the motivation to get it out there. And so in that, what came of that was the name, the commercial break, and was the idea that I could never do multiple episodes about the commercial real estate game. Because here's a little hint for all you kids out there, in case you didn't know. Commercial real estate is a really slick, shady, shitty secret on secret on secret type of business. People do not want you talking about their commercial real estate ventures because half of them are likely illegal. I mean, it's just the way that it is. It's just a weird business. It's just a weird business. A lot of money flows in and out of it. And me talking, first of all, it's boring. I don't want to. Who the fuck cares about commercial real estate? I guess people in commercial real estate, but that's a. That's a different story for a different time. But second of all, who wants to hear Brian talk about commercial real estate ventures? So I decided, okay, I could do a comedy podcast. I could just sit and talk and be funny, grab news headlines and be funny. But I didn't want to do that by myself. Ring, ring. Chrissy Hoadley. Hey, Chrissy, can you join me for the first couple of these so that at least I have someone to talk to? Like, someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to laugh if it's funny, someone not to laugh if it's not funny. So I know which direction I'm heading in. So Chrissy says, sure. Because in that moment when I first called Chrissy, people were getting sick on the West Coast. They were getting sick from this. No one knew what it was. 20 cases turned into 200 cases turned into 500 cases of coronavirus. People were passing away. It was getting a little hairy and a little scary. So Chrissy and I decided, okay, let's not take the chance. Plus, at that time, I think you were like, I'm not gonna drive all the way up to where you are.
- [11:29]
Chrissy Hoadley
Well, yeah. As you're sitting here talking, it reminds me that, you know, really doing this podcast furthered and grew our friendship. Because we were best friends. We were ride and die. We were running around, running and gunning all over for a long time, for a Long time. And then you got married and I got married, and you moved a ways away. Otp.
- [11:54]
Brian Green
Otp. Outside the perimeter. If you live in Atlanta, you know what that means Outside the circle. The highway. That's called the perimeter highway.
- [12:00]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yep, yep. 285.
- [12:02]
Brian Green
So it's a true story that, you know, I never really thought about it that way, is that when the two of us got married, we certainly weren't out four times a week, drinking, dragging ourselves out of the bar. I certainly wasn't carrying you out of any Braves game after you got married. That was Jeff's responsibility.
- [12:19]
Chrissy Hoadley
Exactly.
- [12:20]
Brian Green
That's right. Jeff said you. Exactly. Yeah.
- [12:23]
Chrissy Hoadley
We weren't working together anymore and running around town and. Yeah, we both got married and kind of went on to do our own thing. And you were in a separate area of town that really. I just didn't get to very often. And so, you know, we didn't see each other very much anymore.
- [12:39]
Brian Green
So I said, join me for the first couple of these. We record. Right. As the COVID is getting scary for everybody. You remember that moment in time, March of 2020. And by the time we put out our first. It took me one month to edit our first podcast, One month to edit our first podcast. And so a month later, April of whatever, April 15th of 2020, we put out our first episode, which is so terrible, so incredibly bad, that not only does it not exist on the RSS feed, you can't find it anywhere. I don't even think I kept it, period, in the sentence. I know that's a little bit sad because even though it is terrible, like, the 33 penis songs are terrible, but I managed to keep some of them. Do you know? You know, like, I should have kept it for posterity's sake. It's gotta be somewhere. Somebody has it. If it went on the Internet, somebody's got it. Right. It's gotta be out there somewhere, because this is.
- [13:34]
Chrissy Hoadley
We weren't. We weren't doing YouTube at that time.
- [13:37]
Brian Green
No, no, no, no, no doing YouTube.
- [13:39]
Chrissy Hoadley
Are we doing it now? Nobody views us now.
- [13:41]
Brian Green
We're barely doing it now.
- [13:42]
Chrissy Hoadley
But we put it up there.
- [13:43]
Brian Green
We put it up there in case you wanna know, in case you're one of the six people that's out there. So one episode a week turned into two episodes a week turned into three, turned into four. That it just. The ball just started rolling. You know, we got approached by a network so they could sell some ads in our show. That went great for like a year. Yeah, yeah. And now. And then this just turned into a business all of a sudden. And anytime you turn something into a business, it takes on a different tone and a different texture. That in the studio, it's still fun outside the studio, it's got all of the stresses and wins and losses that any other entrepreneur or small business feels. There are ups, there are downs, there are complete kicks in the potatoes. There are people who pay you, people who don't, people you pay, people you don't. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that goes on in a small business that makes it. It takes it to a different level. But now this is a business. This is what we do. We have had some wins, we have had some level of success. I asked somebody the other day, I forget who, I was talking to somebody else in the podcast industry, and they said, you know, I consider the commercial break a real success. From an independent pod podcast, like perspective. You guys have reached this kind of middle tier of, like the top of the middle tier of podcasts where you're doing really well. You make a living doing. Not like you're not making millions of dollars, but you're making a living doing this. You're not Theo Vaughn, Conan o' Brien, Joe Rogan.
- [15:13]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah. With Call Her Daddy level of notoriety.
- [15:17]
Brian Green
But you're in this kind of sweet spot where you can. You're one of the few that can do this for a living. And I explained to them that the only reason why we can do this for a living is because we're doing so much of it. That's the only reason. Why do you think we're doing 12 episodes in one day? It's fucking insane. But I do have to say this. It's been sweet, it's been sour, it's been all the things in between. We've had so many people that have worked with us and for us and around us that have been great. Christina and Tina and all these people.
- [15:44]
Chrissy Hoadley
I've seen all 3,000 of your children being born.
- [15:48]
Brian Green
Yes, that's true. All 30 of my children have been born during the pandemic. Well, I had the first one. Yeah. But then the rest of them came over the last five years.
- [15:58]
Chrissy Hoadley
The pregnancies, babies, and the sweetness when they start talking and walking.
- [16:03]
Brian Green
I know that.
- [16:04]
Chrissy Hoadley
I mean, they're like. I mean, I see them, I see them every week.
- [16:07]
Brian Green
And now they're little times a week. Money, goblin food, eating pee pee poo.
- [16:14]
Chrissy Hoadley
Poo, little turds, projectile vomiting.
- [16:16]
Brian Green
Projectile vomiting, little turds. It took us like 15 minutes to get them out of the studio. I'm like, okay, we gotta go. We. We got a timeline to.
- [16:24]
Chrissy Hoadley
Nico was here when we first started.
- [16:26]
Brian Green
The smelly ghost dog.
- [16:27]
Chrissy Hoadley
Smelly ghost dog.
- [16:28]
Brian Green
Yeah, Nico. Some of you will remember Ripe. Yeah. R A P. Nico. I don't miss the smell. But he was a very sweet dog, and he was dead long before his body. Actually, he smelled like a corpse. You think I'm joking about this? I'm really not. Blue, the dog who will live forever is still here. I guarantee, in five years from now, you and I are going to do another one of these stupid, stunty ideas for our tent, and Blue is still going to be barking outside. We actually had to take her to. Because I'm like, I have to, like, clear everything in the world for this to happen. I feel like, get babysitters and put the dog away. And Astrid is, you know, ordering groceries like we're hostages or something for us to do today. For us to do today. And I'm like, I cannot do this. I cannot do this if Blue is barking in the background. I just can't do it. And Astrid says, let's just take her to the play place. And I'm like, perfect idea. Leave her there until I wake up on Wednesday. If you don't mind, please. Actually, Blue was really sweet last night. Me and Blue had a sweet moment together. She was really sweet. She came in, she was running around my wires as she does, and I'm like, blue, stop. You're gonna knock stuff over. She, like, runs into the wires, gets caught in them, and then pulls them out. But she runs into the wires, and I'm like, blue, stop. And she comes over and she jumps on my lap, right? And she starts rubbing her head against my. Against my leg. I think it was to, like, get the dirt out of her eye. But you know what? It was a sweet moment. And I'll take them where I can get him.
- [17:55]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
- [17:56]
Brian Green
Every once in a blue moon, I'm reminded of why we love Blue so much. And that is because she can be a very sweet dog 99% of the time. Complete dumb, dumb. Sometimes she's okay. But here's what I can say about Blue. She has been with us for every episode of the commercial break and among. And of any other person that's been here. Any other thing that's been here. Brian and Blue have been on every episode of the commercial break. There's a bark in there somewhere. You got to check, but there's a bark in there somewhere. So I love you. Congratulations on five years.
- [18:31]
Chrissy Hoadley
And I love you.
- [18:32]
Brian Green
All the memories all the things we're gonna go through, as much of it as we can today. We're gonna start. We're gonna go season by season. We're gonna do six, maybe seven episodes, depending. We possibly will go live on Twitch, YouTube, maybe TikTok later on, go to. At the commercial break on Instagram to when, if we decide to go live, Astrid will announce it. It will tell you where to go to get that. This is all brought to you with extremely limited commercial interruption by a great sponsor, Five Hour Energy. Five Hour Energy.com for special flavors. You can order stuff, get it. Get it sent straight to your front door. Or of course, you can find it at every gas station, supermarket, liquor store, everywhere in the world. Five Hour Energy has been really good to us. And when we came up with this stupid idea, this is why we're doing it at all. I've got to be honest, because when I came up with this idea about, like, six weeks ago, I'm like, this is a stupid idea. Why are we doing this? Let's just not do it this. And then five Hour Energy was like, we'll buy it.
- [19:27]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
- [19:28]
Brian Green
I was like, yeah, now I gotta do it.
- [19:30]
Chrissy Hoadley
Now we gotta do it.
- [19:31]
Brian Green
Yeah. So 5hourenergy.fiveourenergy.com limited commercial interruptions. Only one commercial break.
- [19:38]
Chrissy Hoadley
Very tasty flavors.
- [19:39]
Brian Green
They do. We've got a bunch of boxes here, so thank you to five Energy.
- [19:42]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, they've sent us, like, every one of their flavors.
- [19:44]
Brian Green
We have enough. And. And they were gonna send us more. And then I was talking to the. One of the guys at Odyssey the other day, and I. And I was like, it's okay. It's okay. We got it. We got it.
- [19:54]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah. We got it covered.
- [19:55]
Brian Green
Odyssey is our network. Thank you very much. Covert creator, Covert Creative, is doing all of our public relations. And Bella at ctb. Bella, Joanna, Antoine at ctb. They have booked all of guests today. Tom Papa, Tig Notaro, Reggie Watts, Rachel Bloom, Michael Ian Black, who was fantastic. You got to listen to that episode. You want to. You have to listen to that episode. You will understand why about halfway through, but you have to listen to that episode. All of those are coming up. Here's a little bit about the minutiae. Chrissy and I are recording this on the day that you're listening to this. But the guest episodes were recorded earlier because we didn't want to subject our guests to our bullshit, to our technical bullshit. So.
- [20:35]
Chrissy Hoadley
Plus, you need a time in between to do the editing of the Flash. We need all that. So it's about an hour delay.
- [20:40]
Brian Green
There's about an hour delay. So we're recording this at 9 o' clock in the morning, you're hearing it at 10 o' clock in the morning, so on and so forth. Later on, maybe we'll take some phone calls. Text us 212-4333, TCB again at the commercial break on Instagram if you want to check us out. Doing a live later on. Maybe I don't want to promise anything about the live because maybe we just decide to bail on that because we're talking about.
- [21:01]
Chrissy Hoadley
I hold a bunch of people now too. They're like, how do I tune in?
- [21:04]
Brian Green
They're going to get their first introduction to the commercial break. Chad, one of our listeners said, I have a strong suspicion you never wrote this in the book. And I was like, it never went in the notebook.
- [21:15]
Chrissy Hoadley
It did not.
- [21:16]
Brian Green
The 12 days of TC and the 12 hours of TCB, which is called TCB's endless day now, those didn't go in the notebook and that's why we're doing it.
- [21:24]
Chrissy Hoadley
For those of you that don't know about the notebook, it became a joke because I had this notebook where we would write down ideas and different things that would come to us. And the majority of those never got done.
- [21:35]
Brian Green
Never. Actually none of them ever got done. Not one. We're going to make a special sticker over the next couple of weeks. TCB's endless day sticker. Go to the website tcbpodcast.com you put your information in the contact us button and we'll put you on the list. If you've listened to every episode of the commercial break, yes, there will be a pop quiz. If you have. I may or may not have something special for you. So write in at the website or write in on the phone call. Okay, one more thing. 988 is a mental health crisis hotline. If you or anybody you know are in mental health crisis, you need help, you can't get out of bed. You know what it is. If whatever it is for you, whatever that means for you, if you are in crisis, even if you don't have the resources, the financial resources to get yourself the help you think you may need. 988-dial-T, text it. Someone is there 24 hours a day, English or an espanol, and they can help you. We have all been through it. We have all been there. It's the last day of Mental Health Awareness Month. Chrissy and I feel strongly that we will be crazy by the end of this day. But we also feel. We also feel strongly that even sane people go crazy sometimes and we all can use a helping hand. So this is what I'm going to do. We're going to be tight on the timeline here, obviously, because we got to stick to it. So we are going to take a very short break, as long as I can figure out what I'm doing here. This is our first one, so it's going to. Okay, so we're going to take a very short break here. A little liner, a little announcement from our sponsor, five Hour Energy, and then we'll be back.
- [23:16]
Rachel
All right.
- [23:16]
Brian Green
All right.
- [23:17]
Rachel
All right, cats and kittens, you're in the middle of another episode during TCB's endless day. Make sure you're following us he commercial break on Instagram for more information on all of today's events and maybe even a live streaming recording. Wouldn't that be a miracle? You know, now would be a really good time to call in and give Brian and Chrissy some moral support. They've been at this for like, what, 6 million hours? 212-4333 TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Be sure to catch all these episodes a second time on video@YouTube.com thecommercial break and get your free exclusive Endless Day sticker by visiting tcbpodcast.com and dropping us a line on the contact us button. Okay, I'm gonna go or I'll run the risk of being the second person on this podcast to talk way too much.
- [24:06]
Brian Green
Looking right at you, Brian.
- [24:08]
Rachel
Best to you.
- [24:16]
Brian Green
Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces. I remember searching for my first home, thinking, how does anyone do this without losing their mind? I wish I could go back and tell myself that the first step you should take is to find a realtor. They make everything make sense, from pre approvals to paperwork, from offers to closing. It's someone that you can trust that'll walk you through it all. They'll answer all the questions, even ones you don't know to ask. And when things are feeling a little bit overwhelming, you can count on them to keep you grounded. That kind of steady support, you cannot get that from going it alone or guesswork. A realtor knows the ins and outs of the California real estate market and helps turn what feels like impossible into done. Don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your next chapter. Find your realtor@championsofhome.com that's championsofhome.com do you know what our second episode of the commercial break was?
- [25:19]
Chrissy Hoadley
Shamalama ding dong.
- [25:20]
Brian Green
Shamalama ding dong. That is right. If you remember, at the time during coronavirus, there was a preacher who became, I guess infamous is the word.
- [25:29]
Chrissy Hoadley
Notorious.
- [25:30]
Brian Green
Yeah, longer dang dong. Kenny Copeland. Kenny Copeland is the guy who was begging people for more money because he needed to buy his third, not his second, his third private jet. He could blow the coronavirus away and he told the tornado to turn backwards. And it did. Kenny Copeland is the epitome of shithead TV preachers. He looks like the devil incarnate. If you can Google a pic. I don't like to make fun of people's looks too much, but Kenny Copeland is really a scary looking human being.
- [25:59]
Chrissy Hoadley
He has a look.
- [25:59]
Brian Green
He has a look and it's. And it looks like the devil. That's what it looks like. And he is a very rich. A filthy rich televangelist. And he has been, you know, spreading his seed and spreading his word and spreading his bullshit for a long, long, long, long, long time. And Chrissy and I reviewed some footage on our second episode, season one, second episode of the show where we went through clips. I'll never forget this. I was playing the clips through the phone. I was playing clips through the phone into. That's how advanced the commercial break was on episode number two.
- [26:32]
Chrissy Hoadley
And we've grown just a tiny bit.
- [26:34]
Brian Green
Just a tiny bit since then. Yeah. Now we play him through the tv. We went and reviewed a bunch of clips of his. And I still to this day find a lot of. I get a lot of joy out of listening to that episode. Cause it really is funny because he has this guy that runs behind him and the guy is like a hype guy. So Kenny Copeland would be, I'm gonna blow the coronavirus away in the name of the lo. And the guy in the background is like. He's talking a tongue hyping up Kenny. It's like Public Enemy. He's the flavor flame for Kenny Copeland. It is so fucking incredibly dumb. And I cannot believe for the life of me that probably mainly older people give this guy money in the millions of dollars every month. But what you don't know about Kenny Copeland, I thought about reviewing that particular video, but there's so much new good material in the last five years from him, from him and anyone around him. Kenny Copeland made movies. Drama, movie drama, action thriller movies.
- [27:42]
Chrissy Hoadley
Really?
- [27:43]
Brian Green
Yes. He funded them and he was in them. He starred in them. And here is the premise Kenneth Copeland is a Mexican drug cartel lord that spreads the good word of the Lord. And he has a. There's a rival Mexican drug cartel lord that is like the bad guy. So he's the good guy selling drugs and spreading the word of the Lord. And the other drug lord is the bad guy because he doesn't spread the word of the Lord. It is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard. But not only is there one of these movies, there's a part two. There's the Rally with Kenneth Copeland and the rally la. It's like ncis. They made different versions of it.
- [28:28]
Chrissy Hoadley
You don't mess with a good formula.
- [28:29]
Brian Green
Hey, listen, once you. Hence the commercial break. Right? Am I right?
- [28:34]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
- [28:35]
Brian Green
Yeah. Who am I to be talking? Who am I to be talking? I'm doing 12 dumb episodes of the day. Okay, so they did it to download the movie and to play it. It was a little complicated and quite frankly, that I have to watch it.
- [28:52]
Chrissy Hoadley
Right.
- [28:54]
Brian Green
And I refused to put money in Kenny's pocket. But I did find a special that they made on one of his channels where they rev. They played the trailer and did this whole thing. So you want to watch it? Oh, my God, Chrissy, this is crazy. The Mexican accent on Kenneth.
- [29:11]
Chrissy Hoadley
Where is he based out of?
- [29:12]
Brian Green
He's based out of, like, San Antonio or something. Of course. It's all. Yeah, listen, I love Texas. It's one of my favorite states. I love it, love it, love it. But just like Florida. And in a lot of ways, Atlanta's got its own problems, too. Everyone here is a producer, a movie producer like Chrissy and I were talking about. We all have our own things, depending on where you're from. But Florida and Texas seems to be a hotbed for these kooks to spread their word and get money. Okay, let's. Let's just. Let's go through this real quick.
- [29:41]
Chrissy Hoadley
Rallies for Christ.
- [29:43]
Brian Green
Oh, yeah. It's always for Christ. The Mexican drug lord movie for Christ. Okay, now this is a special announcing the movie. So this is not the movie itself, just FYI.
- [29:58]
Chrissy Hoadley
This is just some guy up on stage announcing the movie.
- [30:01]
Brian Green
The producer and director of the movie does this special. I know. Look at all these people. They're in a trance. They're absolutely in a trance. I guess maybe I'm a little jealous. I wish I could get that into anything. Do you know what I'm saying?
- [30:17]
Chrissy Hoadley
You mean you're jealous of the people that you're jealous of? Kenny or the people that.
- [30:21]
Brian Green
Well, both. I'm jealous of the money that Kenny. I would like to have an airplane too. But then I. I guess I'd love to show up somewhere. I mean, I guess I have a few times, but there are a lot of narcotics involved. Do you know what I'm saying?
- [30:33]
Chrissy Hoadley
Your tantric glasses.
- [30:34]
Brian Green
That's right, Ral. Starring Jabroni. Okay, let's fast forward through all this hype. When you make your intro too long, it's too much a word just for you. Okay, here they are.
- [30:49]
Rick Reyna
I'm Rick. Reyna. This is my beautiful wife, Nettie.
- [30:52]
Chrissy Hoadley
Rayna, thank you so much for tuning into our show today. We are so excited that you are able to be a part.
- [30:58]
Rick Reyna
You know we are.
- [30:59]
Chrissy Hoadley
Eric Roberts is involved.
- [31:01]
Brian Green
Yeah, I forgot to mention the name. Yes, it's Kenneth Copeland versus Eric Roberts. What happened to Eric Roberts? Yeah, he used to be like a guy you'd want to watch on a movie. Not anymore.
- [31:12]
Rick Reyna
We've been standing and been believing God for this moment. April 22nd. The rally LA movie is coming to select theaters now. If we don't look excited, believe me, we are. We've been standing on this word. My wife, myself, brother Copeland, Sister Gloria, all the KCM staff. We've been believing God.
- [31:34]
Brian Green
Vaginal farts are wonderful things for this moment. Why?
- [31:39]
Rick Reyna
Because this is a word that God gave us to. To show people that God loves them, that they don't have to be stuck in nothing. That God's love.
- [31:50]
Brian Green
Wait, hold on. Let me get this straight. God came down through you and decided to give you a message to make a movie about Mexican drug cartels that spread the word of the Lord so that I know I don't have to be stuck in anything. What kind of ham hock bullshit is going on here? God came to me one day and said, you know what you should do? Hire Eric Roberts, Louisiana's most successful actor, to star in a movie alongside Kenneth Copeland. Now, I know exactly what happened here. You know what happened, Chrissy? This Tweedledee here, Tweedledee and Tweedledum came to Kenneth Copeland and they said, we want to make a movie. And since you have a lot of money, will you be the executive producer? To which Kenneth Copeland said, absolutely, If.
- [32:38]
Chrissy Hoadley
I can star, I'm going to star. Yeah, I'll be the star of it.
- [32:40]
Rick Reyna
Set people free and give them a dream, a vision in life. You know, God spoke to us about making these moves because he said, people will see themselves in these movies.
- [32:53]
Chrissy Hoadley
They will now.
- [32:54]
Rick Reyna
April 22nd.
- [32:55]
Brian Green
I love when I go to a movie and I really connect with the Mexican drug lord cartel the movie is.
- [33:01]
Rick Reyna
Coming to select theaters now. Go to the.
- [33:04]
Brian Green
And by select, do you mean the ones at your church? Is that what you mean?
- [33:09]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah. Well, what they're saying, the rally, this was like the la.
- [33:12]
Brian Green
This is the la. This is the second one, Chrissy. This is, this is the next Fast and Furious.
- [33:18]
Rick Reyna
I'm telling you, Franchise Valley Movie.com, if you don't see your city there, we need pastors, church leaders to sign up and say, hey, we want the movie to come to our city, believe God.
- [33:31]
Brian Green
Nothing like buying 30 minutes of airtime on some, you know, off brand UHF channel to then go ahead and pitch pastors throughout the country to show your Mexican drug lord movie inside of their church that it will come to see.
- [33:45]
Rick Reyna
We just need you guys to show up. I want to say this, Nettie. We need you to show up on the first few days that the movie comes out because the theaters told us if you do good on the opening weekend, we'll continue to hold the movie. That means more souls.
- [34:03]
Brian Green
Amen. Amen. That means more money. Jingle, jingle in my pocket. That means Kenny Funds number three going.
- [34:12]
Chrissy Hoadley
To be showing you the rally LA movie trailer.
- [34:15]
Brian Green
Do you think if you like get cast in this movie, like if you're, let's say you're a struggling actor or actress or you're just an actor and actress and you're doing your thing out there in la, you're waitressing, you got a side job, whatever it is, you show up to the casting call, the guy calls you back, girl calls you back and says, hey, listen, you got the part and you're really excited and then you find out that you're in the rally LA with Kenneth Copeland and Eric Roberts. You think that's, you say, well, just like the commercial break, you say, well, I tried.
- [34:42]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I mean, I guess it depends on if, if I need to pay my rent or not.
- [34:47]
Brian Green
Yeah, true. So enjoy. Okay, here's the trailer. There is something that I must do. There is something that I must do. Is he Italian?
- [34:57]
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh my God, he's got like. Oh, he's doing like an Al Pacino.
- [35:02]
Brian Green
Okay, all right, I'm taking a picture of this and putting it on. I'm taking a picture of this. Look at that. I'm putting it on Instagram. Kenneth Copeland, he's Mexican Italian. He's a Mexican Italian. He's part godfather, part narcos. I should have done 20 years ago. 20 years ago, Chrissy. Oh, Rick the director stars in his own movie.
- [35:25]
Chrissy Hoadley
Okay.
- [35:26]
Rick Reyna
What some of the things you're dealing with. We are dealing with the devil himself.
- [35:34]
Brian Green
The winds are changing. We need to be watchful. I am Antonio and Uranvar. I am your very tan grandfather. I go to the same tanning bed as Brian Greene and Donald Trump. I have the same tan package as Brian Green. I feel like I'm losing it here. I don't care.
- [35:59]
Chrissy Hoadley
You don't do that to me. You don't do that to anybody.
- [36:02]
Brian Green
I don't ever want to see you again. A tour de force of acting.
- [36:06]
Chrissy Hoadley
This is the weirdest trailer.
- [36:08]
Brian Green
Kenneth Copeland and some other people star in the rally LA in April is.
- [36:17]
Rick Reyna
Not to be told what to do.
- [36:19]
Chrissy Hoadley
No.
- [36:19]
Brian Green
Go away. No. Go away.
- [36:22]
Chrissy Hoadley
This whole thing makes no sense. It's so disjointed as to what it's about.
- [36:27]
Brian Green
I can guarantee you. Should we watch the movie and maybe we will. Maybe we're gonna do. Maybe we do a special where we just watch the entire movie. I guarantee you, Chrissy, this is. They don't even have enough money to do a second take on the film. So they just take the first take. And these are the. I mean, God bless these actors and actresses. I'm sure some of them have nothing to do with Kenneth Copeland and they're just trying to make it in the world. I don't want to bust on their chops. They have to make a living too. But this is terrible acting. Look at the camera. It's tilted sideways. It looks like a camera in the commercial break studios.
- [36:59]
Chrissy Hoadley
It does.
- [36:59]
Brian Green
It's not even set up correctly. Let me go. I promise I'll keep everything clean.
- [37:09]
Rick Reyna
We're going to begin to go out to the streets.
- [37:11]
Brian Green
Nothing like a movie about God where they shoot someone directly in the head.
- [37:17]
Rick Reyna
Find anyone that will listen to us. There's a change coming to this town.
- [37:23]
Brian Green
Well, if you try to mess the way the business around here. I will not.
- [37:28]
Chrissy Hoadley
They're eating spaghetti.
- [37:29]
Brian Green
Spaghetti.
- [37:30]
Chrissy Hoadley
I bet they're Mexican. At a dinner they have spaghetti and garlic bread.
- [37:39]
Brian Green
Frozen garlic bread, Texas toast. It actually looks like Kenny's been eating the spaghetti. He's like, I'm hungry. I will eat my spaghetti in my weird accent. Silence you. So let me get this straight. Kenneth Copeland, drug lord, who's going to spread the good word, change things on the mean streets of la. Eric Roberts, drug lord, who just wants to keep people taking his product, I guess. And also, people die from getting shot in the head and some girl screaming, I won't let you win.
- [38:09]
Chrissy Hoadley
And also, Kenneth revealed that he was the grandfather.
- [38:12]
Brian Green
That's right. Yeah. Well, That's. Listen, there's got to be a twist in every movie, right? This is Coen brothers level twists and turns. You hear me? I will take you out.
- [38:26]
Chrissy Hoadley
Ow.
- [38:28]
Brian Green
I will take you out.
- [38:32]
Chrissy Hoadley
That was Eric Roberts saying that to Kenneth.
- [38:36]
Brian Green
Wait, let's. Let's count the amount of seconds when he when out. Let's count the amount of seconds. Oh wait, hold on a second. I will take you. Oh. Oh. Now I've messed it up. Oh great, Brian. Now you've messed it up. Now you've messed it all up.
- [38:56]
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh no.
- [38:57]
Brian Green
Oh no. Oh no.
- [39:01]
Chrissy Hoadley
It was mad.
- [39:02]
Brian Green
Okay, hold on one second. Oh. Oh no. What happened? Oh, I wanted to see the rest of that trailer. Damn it, Brian. Now you gone and messed it all up. I tried to get funny with it and now I mess it all up. I think you get the gist of it, Chrissy.
- [39:19]
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah, yeah.
- [39:20]
Brian Green
It's okay.
- [39:21]
Chrissy Hoadley
Hold on one second.
- [39:23]
Brian Green
It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. How are you going to make a movie trailer? How are you going to make a movie about a Mexican drug cartel? And you are like a preacher of a neo Christian church. I just don't get it. Yeah, okay, here we go. All right, hold on one second. Okay, now I'm going to.
- [39:43]
Rick Reyna
There's a change coming to this town.
- [39:46]
Brian Green
But if you try to mess the way I do business around here, I will not hesitate to silence you. So they both have bad Mexican accents. Let's get that straight. Yeah, Kenneth said I need somebody else who can do a great Mexican accent. Eric Roberts. Call in the man for the job. You hear me? I will take you out. Out.
- [40:13]
Rick Reyna
We want to do a rally right here in your city. That's exactly what we've needed here. He is coming so soon. Sooner than any of us.
- [40:26]
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh my God.
- [40:28]
Brian Green
He is coming, Chrissy. Sooner than any one of us think. Eric Roberts.
- [40:34]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, I was going to say. Is he talking about Eric Roberts or Kaiser Sose?
- [40:38]
Brian Green
You know where I can find Rick Reyna? Yeah, I think I saw him backstage.
- [40:42]
Rick Reyna
If you want God to make a difference in your life, I want you to raise your hands towards heaven. I believe today is your day.
- [40:52]
Brian Green
Oh, I think I get the premise of this now. You ready? Okay. Old drug cartel guy gets out of jail. He probably went to jail the last movie. He gets out of jail. He wants to spread the good word of the Lord. They're going to put a rally together. Hence the name the rally la. Eric Roberts is determined to stop the rally from happening because the drug addicts will show up and they'll be Changed forever. And he'll lose business.
- [41:12]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
- [41:13]
Brian Green
So he's going to put a hit on Eric Reyna, the director, producer, lighting guy, cameraman, food truck operator for this movie.
- [41:24]
Chrissy Hoadley
Kenneth.
- [41:27]
Brian Green
It'S too late for you. There is no power on this earth like the power of the love of God. Your God can stop it. Oh, no. Eric Roberts is gonna shoot.
- [41:45]
Chrissy Hoadley
He's got a gun pointing right at Kenneth. Kenneth's got the Bible.
- [41:49]
Brian Green
Yeah, Kenneth's got the Bible in his hand, I guarantee you.
- [41:51]
Chrissy Hoadley
Stop the bullet.
- [41:52]
Brian Green
The Bible stops the bullet. We have to watch the movie now. That's just it. I have to watch the movie now. I'm so intrigued. So.
- [42:02]
Chrissy Hoadley
Now.
- [42:02]
Rick Reyna
That was a powerful movie trailer. I never get to.
- [42:05]
Brian Green
No, that was the most disjointed piece of shit I've ever seen. Rick Reyna or Eric Rayna, whatever your name is.
- [42:11]
Chrissy Hoadley
Rick.
- [42:12]
Brian Green
In the five years since we last saw Kenneth Copeland, he has gone from extremely strange. Televangelist, blowing coronavirus away, turning tornadoes in the other direction, speaking in tongues. And then he went to Hollywood, often farting in church. There's whole videos out there of him actually farting. It's not the farting preacher. That's a different one. That's a classic. That's hilarious. But actually farting in church. He went from that to movie actor in la. Do you think, Chrissy, I have a question for you. Do you think that Kenneth Copeland, in his, like, wildest dreams, goes to bed at night and imagines that he can win an Oscar for something like this? Like, this has always been his dream?
- [42:54]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
- [42:54]
Brian Green
And now he's getting to play it out out loud on the big screen?
- [42:57]
Chrissy Hoadley
I think so. Why not?
- [42:59]
Brian Green
Do you also think that if we were.
- [43:00]
Chrissy Hoadley
He's delusional.
- [43:00]
Brian Green
So he is delusional. He thinks he could blow the coronavirus away.
- [43:05]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah.
- [43:06]
Brian Green
Do you also assume, like I do, that Kenneth Copeland in this movie moves in and out of the accent and no one has bothered to make sure that it's correct?
- [43:17]
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, I'm sure.
- [43:18]
Brian Green
You know, when you see those movies, like, they have the. You know, you go to, like, YouTube. I don't know if you've ever seen this, but you can go to YouTube and you can look at some of your favorite movies and they have continuity problems. Like the Dunkin Donuts cup that was in the Lord of the Rings finale there. Somebody had left a Dunkin Donuts cup on one of the sets.
- [43:34]
Chrissy Hoadley
You mean Game of Thrones?
- [43:34]
Brian Green
Game of Thrones. I'm sorry, what'd I say?
- [43:37]
Chrissy Hoadley
Lord of the Rings.
- [43:37]
Brian Green
Lord of the Rings, Not Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I can guarantee there's no continuity issues there. But, you know, there's that, that stuff. I am a stickler for continuity issues.
- [43:48]
Chrissy Hoadley
And there's a person that's assigned to that.
- [43:50]
Brian Green
There are multiple people sometimes. I, I can see that stuff in television and in films all the time. Drives Astrid crazy because she says it breaks the allure of being in the movie or whatever. So I can guarantee you if we went and watched this movie, it would be continuity issue after continuity issue after continuity. They' like different color T shirts in the same, you know, in the same shot, moving in and out of the, the accent, different guns, different people maybe playing the same character. I, I, you know, when we were kids, they used to have these, what they would call B movies. The movies were so terrible that they were good. They, they were like 50s, 60s and 70s movies that were made for a couple hundred thousand dollars or less than that. And then they became cult classics in the 90s and 2000s. And we would all watch them, like Mystery Science Theater and stuff like that. We would watch them and get the biggest kick out of it because it was so terrible. It ended up being funny. I have to imagine that the Rally LA is going to hold a place in people's hearts at some point for just being the shittiest fucking movie you've ever seen. It's so bad. It's good kind of television. We should read reviews about the Rally la. I know.
- [45:05]
Chrissy Hoadley
I want to do some research now.
- [45:07]
Brian Green
I wonder if any serious reviewer has reviewed.
- [45:10]
Chrissy Hoadley
I was thinking about, you know, can, I wonder if they submitted it to.
- [45:14]
Brian Green
Can I submitted it to Sundance, you know, but I bet Kenny Flu is playing there. Fucker. Kenneth Copeland. If you give your money to Kenneth Copeland, I don't want to know you. I really don't. I'm being dead serious about that. It's just too much for me to know. All right, listen. One down, 11 to go.
- [45:35]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yes.
- [45:35]
Brian Green
Yes.
- [45:36]
Chrissy Hoadley
11 hours.
- [45:36]
Brian Green
We did it. All right. A little slow start. I had to get the juices working, but I feel like we're in it now. We're gonna flip right around and do another one for you. This is your 10:00am serving of the commercial break. We'll have an 11:00 clock and then a 12:00 clock. We'll be back right in your ears. Every hour, every hour, on the hour. Unless we go totally cattywonkus. In that case, it just, just might not be on the hour. I don't know. I've got the Episode set to go out on the hour. But I've also. I've also got a backup plan in case.
- [46:10]
Chrissy Hoadley
We're going to do it.
- [46:10]
Brian Green
We're going to do it. We got this. I think for once in our life we can figure out how to be on time. What do you think?
- [46:16]
Chrissy Hoadley
Yeah, I think so.
- [46:17]
Brian Green
All right, one more time. I'll say this a couple times during the day. One more time. This episode. Thanks to five Hour Energy for bringing you this day, our endless day with limited commercial interruptions. Five Hour Energy.com special flavors, they have hot sauces, they have all kind of stuff. Go to the website. Five Hour Energy. Five Hour Energy has helped me in a pinch before.
- [46:41]
Chrissy Hoadley
Oh, yeah.
- [46:41]
Brian Green
And I think it'll probably help me in a pinch today.
- [46:43]
Chrissy Hoadley
I think so. I know so.
- [46:46]
Brian Green
There you go. All right. 212-4333. TCB 212-433-3822. You can call in later on. I would say probably between the three and five o' clock hour if you get froggy. What's that?
- [47:00]
Chrissy Hoadley
So four.
- [47:01]
Brian Green
So four. No, no, between the three and five o' clock. Meaning call those. Between those two hours. You see what I'm saying?
- [47:07]
Chrissy Hoadley
Call during those two hours.
- [47:09]
Brian Green
During those two hours, call and we'll have the phone here. Maybe we'll answer, maybe we won't. Maybe we'll go live. Maybe we won't. Not making any promises. Tune in to see. But I think we will. At the commercial break on Instagram. You must follow us to get that Twitch information like it's a secret. It's TCP podcast on Twitch. Follow it. If we go live, set your notifications and you'll know that we went live. There you go. Thank you to everyone who has called and written in and given us support and love and all that stuff. Yeah, maybe we'll talk to you later. Also, TCB podcast. To get your free sticker, go to the contact us button, drop your address and we'll send you one over the next couple of weeks. YouTube.com the commercial break. The commercial break. Chrissy. Okay, Chrissy. That's all I can do this hour.
- [48:02]
Chrissy Hoadley
I think so.
- [48:03]
Brian Green
But until next hour, I love you.
- [48:06]
Chrissy Hoadley
I love you.
- [48:06]
Brian Green
Best to you and best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next hour, we will say. We do say. We must say goodbye. So you've got a business, but what about a brand? The difference, more of you. Wix gives you the freedom to create your website, own your brand and do it on your own, exactly how you envisioned it. Experience limitless customization Boost your creativity and efficiency with AI tools for every part of your business journey. Scale up with built in SEO, E Comm and scheduling features. Put more of you in your business. Go to wix.com and do it all yourself.