TCB's Endless Day #10: Tig Notaro

Summary

Summary of "TCB's Endless Day #10: Tig Notaro"

Introduction and Tig Notaro’s Career Highlights In the tenth episode of "TCB's Endless Day," hosts Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley welcome acclaimed comedian Tig Notaro for an in-depth and heartfelt conversation. The episode, released on May 31, 2025, delves into Tig's illustrious career, her personal struggles, and her evolution both as a comedian and an individual. Chrissy opens the discussion by acknowledging Tig's significant impact on stand-up comedy, noting, “She was once referred to as the heart of stand up comedy by Brian” (00:53).

The 2012 Stand-Up Performance and Cancer Diagnosis A pivotal moment in Tig’s career is explored in detail—the 2012 stand-up show at Largo where she publicly disclosed her battle with cancer. Chrissy remarks on the raw vulnerability Tig displayed: “I saw that video and I was touched, confused, awestruck” (00:43). Tig recounts the emotional turmoil she was experiencing at the time, stating, “I had been diagnosed with pneumonia and then a... intestinal disease that is very deadly called C. Diff” (02:33). This brave revelation not only resonated deeply with audiences but also propelled her to greater heights, culminating in her album becoming the number one selling comedy album of the year.

Struggles with C. Diff and Personal Losses Tig provides a candid account of her battle with C. Diff, a debilitating bacterial infection, explaining, “C. Diff... eats your insides, and you just can't eat” (08:58). She details the severity of her illness, including hospitalization and the long-term impact it had on her health. The conversation also touches on personal losses, including the death of her mother and a painful divorce, which occurred within a short span, leaving Tig feeling she had nothing left to lose when she shared her story on stage.

The Role of Therapy and Mental Health Therapy emerges as a central theme in Tig's journey towards healing. She emphasizes its importance, saying, “I am a firm believer in therapy” (14:18). Both Tig and Brian share their experiences with therapy, highlighting how it has been instrumental in processing grief and trauma. Chrissy adds that connecting with others' pain can be cathartic, stating, “good, bad, or indifferent... I love you unconditionally” (15:05). This segment underscores the significance of seeking professional help and building supportive relationships.

Tig Notaro’s Comedy Style and Evolution Tig discusses the transformation of her comedic style post-2012. Initially known for observational comedy, her experiences led her to incorporate more personal and vulnerable narratives into her acts. “[I] have decided I'm gonna share what feels right when it feels right” (41:46). She reflects on the fear of disappointing her audience but ultimately finds solace in authenticity, noting, “they just want me... they want me” (43:11). This evolution highlights Tig’s commitment to staying true to herself and her audience.

Personal Life and Parenthood The hosts and Tig delve into her personal life, particularly her role as a parent. Tig shares, “These are the moments that make me feel like I have purpose and drive and love” (27:51). She contrasts her earlier days of touring with her current preference for staying home to nurture her family. Chrissy relates by discussing the joys and challenges of parenthood, emphasizing the fleeting nature of these moments and the importance of being present.

Documentary on Andrea Gibson and Success at Sundance A significant portion of the episode focuses on Tig’s involvement in the documentary "See Me in the Good Light," which chronicles the life of her friend, non-binary poet Andrea Gibson, who is battling stage four ovarian cancer. Tig describes the emotional journey of creating the film and its triumph at the Sundance Film Festival: “We won the festival. We won Sundance” (52:01). The documentary not only showcases Andrea's resilience and talent but also serves as a testament to the power of friendship and storytelling in the face of adversity.

Final Reflections and Closure As the conversation draws to a close, both Tig and the hosts reflect on the interconnectedness of humor and healing. Chrissy articulates, “Funny is a bridge that can get us from point A to point B and connect us in ways that we never expected” (55:26). Tig echoes this sentiment, expressing gratitude for finding her community and the ongoing support from her family and friends. The episode concludes on an emotional note, highlighting the profound impact of shared experiences and the enduring power of comedy to navigate life's challenges.

Notable Quotes:

• Chrissy on Tig’s vulnerability: “I thought, wow, they really just went out there and let it all loose” (01:05).
• Tig on therapy: “I am a firm believer in therapy” (14:18).
• Tig on comedic evolution: “I'm gonna share what feels right when it feels right” (41:46).
• Tig on the success of the documentary: “We won the festival. We won Sundance” (52:01).
• Chrissy on the role of humor: “Funny is a bridge that can get us from point A to point B and connect us in ways that we never expected” (55:26).

Conclusion "TCB's Endless Day #10: Tig Notaro" offers listeners a profound and multifaceted glimpse into the life of one of comedy’s most respected figures. Through candid discussions of personal hardship, the therapeutic role of comedy, and the importance of authentic storytelling, Tig Notaro exemplifies resilience and the healing power of humor. This episode not only celebrates Tig’s achievements but also serves as an inspiring narrative of overcoming adversity through vulnerability and connection.

Transcript

[Chrissy]

TTCB's endless day. Our big birthday bash is proudly presented with limited commercial interruption by 5 Hour Energy. Spicy Cinco de Mango is a new flavor from the makers of Five Hour Energy and it is only available at five hour energy.com spicy Cinco de Mango is sweet. It's spicy and a tad unhinged, just like us. And we want to thank five Hour Energy for bringing you this commercial break with limited commercial breaks. On this episode of the Commercial Break.

[Tig Notaro]

Tig Notaro once did a whole show.

[Chrissy]

Based on one chance encounter with singer Taylor Dane.

[Tig Notaro]

It helped to further her career and.

[Chrissy]

Solidify her as a stand up great.

[Tig Notaro]

She's publicly shared her struggles and successes both on and off stage.

[Chrissy]

She was once referred to as the.

[Tig Notaro]

Heart of stand up comedy by Brian.

[Chrissy]

Wow. Tig must have a big heart.

[Tig Notaro]

Agreed to come on tcb. Or she just has empathy for Chrissy and so do I. Tig Notaro is.

[Chrissy]

Your penultimate guest on tcb's Endless Day.

[Tig Notaro]

I'll be back next hour with Brian and Chrissy to wrap it all up. Let's start Tig's episode now.

[Chrissy]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. And on this very long day, Chrissy, Tig Notaro is here with us. Welcome, Tig, to the commercial break. Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

Thank you.

[Chrissy]

Such an honor to have you here. And I do not say that tongue in cheek. I want to start off by asking a serious question and then we'll get to the funny shit later. I sense that your career, and I think you have said this, your career really kind of hits and you put some gasoline in the tank when you are at your most raw and vulnerable and possibly maybe even you would consider the worst moments of your life the worst time of your life. 2012, Largo. You walk out there and bravely say, I'm taking a Tara. I have cancer. And like overnight. And I saw that video and I was touched, confused, awestruck, be shucked. I don't even know how you say it. I was. I thought, wow, they really just went out there and let it all loose. Did you have any sense in that moment in 2012, standing there on stage at Largo, that just being this vulnerable would lead to such a connection with so many people?

[Tig Notaro]

No, I had no idea. I mean, I. I really thought. I mean, I. I mean, just for some more context, I had been diagnosed with pneumonia and then a. An intestinal disease that is very deadly called C. Diff. I had invasive cancer. My mother tripped, hit her head and died. And my girlfriend and I split up and that was in a four month period of time. And I went on stage just feeling like I had lost everything in the world and there was no part of me that thought this is going to be anything. I didn't even think the people in the audience wanted to hear about it, much less the life that it took on. Yeah, yeah, it, it went viral. A lot of people were blogging and tweeting about it.

[Brian]

I remember that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And then it was released as an album and became the number one selling comedy album of the year.

[Chrissy]

Grammy nominated. Am I right?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. And, but yeah, there was nothing. I was just, I was as, I was stunned. I was very stunned. But I did, when I thought about it, I was like, wow, there are so many elements to my story that people can relate to, whether it's health and a loss of a parent or loved one. So many, I mean, so many things.

[Chrissy]

Sickness.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

Feeling down.

[Tig Notaro]

Feeling breakups.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Romantic breakups. So I was, I was going through it all and. But yeah, I didn't, I didn't know what to think.

[Chrissy]

Can you, you know, as if you haven't given us enough, can you give us an idea of where you were mentally in that moment up there on stage? Was it, what did you say was like? Was this a moment of desperation where, like I've heard you say before. Another. Let me preface this. I've heard you say before in other podcast interviews and read that it's like, fuck it if I say this out loud and then I die tomorrow. Well, then at least I said it out loud and somebody somewhere may get something out of it. Was this like just a moment of pure desperation in your mind or did. Where were you? Were you mentally. I'm curious.

[Tig Notaro]

I think it's taken me a long time to really understand what was going on with me. I think that number one, I love stand up. And I wanted. I, I had seen how quickly life can slip away with my own health and my mother dying and I, because I was so sick, I just thought, I don't know if I'll be able to perform again. I don't know if I'm going to be alive. I didn't know what was coming. So I wanted to perform again. And when I did perform, I thought, well, I can't do my regular observational comedy. That's not where my head is. And, and it kind of cracked me open in a new way. Sharing in so personally I had never ever done that before. And yeah, I think I just felt like I had almost lost everything in life. So why not just, you know, let it fall. Yeah, just see what happens. Because it already looked pretty bleak. So it's like if I have a bad show, I mean, I have worse things going on that.

[Brian]

Was it a form of therapy too?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah. I think there was a part of me that was kind of reaching out for help and support because even though I have incredible friends and family that were surrounding me, it was still. I needed. I needed help, I needed support. And. And it's. Yeah, I think all the time about people that don't have the support that I had. It's. It's really after I went on tour or I went on tour after I was in remission and I stood and talked to everybody that wanted to talk after the show because I was like, man, you guys listened to what I went through and. And people lined up sharing their stories and their appreciation. And I'd never really done that before, either after a show, after a tour, or after, you know, any performances, like really sat there and connected with people for hours.

[Chrissy]

Is that there was a real, I bet, sense of catharsis in a lot of ways. And I think sometimes, I know this is kind of the sick, twisted mind of us as human beings, but I think sometimes in ways when we're able to connect with other people's pain, it allows us to vent our own, dull our own, but then say, you know what? It's not as fucking bad as I'm making it out to be in my own head because this person, or just the simple connection that it. I feel bad, they feel bad. We're kind of in this together. Did you. Did you seek. I'm sure you did. I mean, I can almost answer this. I'm sure you did. Did you seek therapy during this period of time? Yes. And I'm. I imagine that was helpful because the cancer alone, it's like you're facing the. The empty chamber of a gun. You're staring it down at all times. You just don't know what's coming next. And that's got to be really scary for sure.

[Tig Notaro]

And you know, that's what was crazy about that time period was cancer is. Is such a obviously well known disease, but C. Diff isn't as known. And it actually ended up killing my stepfather 10 years later. And I was really suffering with that disease. And I remember before I was diagnosed, I remember telling people, God, if only I had cancer, people would understand that I'm struggling. And then I. Meanwhile, I had no idea I had invasive cancer. And I found that out, like, you know, A month later.

[Chrissy]

What is C. Diff? Can you explain to the audience, for those who don't know?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it. C. Diff is a bacteria that's in your gut, and it's. It's totally supposed to be there and works with all the other bacteria in your gut. But if you. Well, I got it from taking antibiotics because. Because I had pneumonia, right. And the antibiotics. I had a. Adverse response, and it cleared out all of the bacteria in my gut, but it leaves C. Diff alone to thrive, and it just, like, eats your insides, and you just. You can't. You can't eat. You can't. It's so debilitating. And. And it's a super bug that, you know, when you see on. What is it, the hand sanitizer, that it kills 99.9 of germs.

[Chrissy]

The 0.9 is C. Diff.

[Tig Notaro]

Is C. Diff. It's so hard to kill. It's so hard to manage.

[Chrissy]

How long did you struggle with this for? Like, is this a very. Is this a long illness that takes a long. I imagine, because it's in your gut and you can't get rid of it?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, there's different levels of severity. I mean, I was hospitalized. I think it was. I don't even remember how long I was hospitalized. It was maybe a week or something. Some people have it and they're just quarantined at their house, but they thought they were gonna have to remove a chunk of my intestines. But after I finally turned things around, I still had a lot of pain and symptoms and struggled a lot with eating, and that was. I had sharp stabbing pains. I would just be. My wife, Stephanie. When we first were dating, she thought I was doing a bit because I would be talking to her, and I'd be like, oh, God. You know, and she'd be like, what was that? Yeah. And I'd be like, oh, sorry. I. I mean, it was truly like I was being stabbed in the gut, period.

[Chrissy]

Random orgasm. I'm sorry. It happens to me all the time.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes. But, yeah, I would say it took about a year for the severity of it to go away.

[Chrissy]

That is intense. And then diagnosed with breast cancer. Your mom dies. The breast cancer, which is a diagnosis that so many women each year will receive, you know, cancer.

[Brian]

I just lost my sister to breast cancer.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I am so sorry.

[Brian]

She had a double mastectomy and everything. They thought they had it. And about a year and a half later, so end of 2023, she was having sharp pains actually, in her stomach. And they went to the doctor, did some tests, did some scans, and found out that it had metastasized somehow from the breast. And now she had liver cancer and moved to her spine, and we lost her four later. It happened super quick, and thank you. And just to talk about therapy, I had to go through a lot of therapy after that. It was so shocking. She was 43 and. Oh, my best friend with, you know, two small boys.

[Tig Notaro]

I am so sorry.

[Chrissy]

The speed at which the cancer took Kelly, if I can speak from where I was sitting as Chrissy's best friend for decades, was intense. It was. It was hard to believe. You couldn't wrap your head around it. No, no, no. Everything will be okay. It'll be fine. She'll. You know, people don't die in a week. That doesn't happen, but that's what happened.

[Brian]

Yeah. We got her out to MD Anderson, even thinking that, you know, that somebody can do something, and when they called, they said, there's nothing we can do. I mean, her husband called and said, there's nothing that they can do. You've got to get out here now.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. It was just.

[Brian]

And to watch her two go through the double mastectomy. I was right there with her, saw the whole thing, helped her recover from it, and for them to think that it was gone and that, you know.

[Tig Notaro]

Then that is a nightmare.

[Brian]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Brian]

But therapy has done a lot. Professional therapy really has been a lifesaver for me because I. It was like I. I couldn't put that on my friends and the family that I had left. My mom also passed suddenly in 2020.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[Brian]

Yeah. So it was just all very shocking. And I know that therapy has really helped me and the podcast, which, you know, we had just started in 2020, and being able to. Having to get up and go do that and, you know, come here to the studio and record and. And laugh really, about stupid things helped. And I know that that had to have helped you, too, to be able to get up on stage and have that purpose.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian]

That connection with his people. So thank you for that.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. Absolutely. I mean, I'm kind of doing it selfishly and thankfully is helpful to others, but I. But I. I am a firm believer in therapy, and I. I'm still in it. I've been in therapy on and off since I was 18, and. And I feel. Yeah, I, I, I feel very thankful for that outlet.

[Brian]

Yes.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. I think that for those who wonder, there is no weakness in needing an objective ear Because I think we are all, at times, crying. Listen, life can be really difficult and it can be really shitty, and we're all crying out in our own ways at times. And sometimes, I mean, I'm going to oversimplify this, but I think that's important, to get it down to its base nature, is that sometimes you just need somebody who's not in the middle of the storm, objectively. Objectively. So that if anything, you can just shout into the void and have someone shout back at you that, I'm here and I hear you. I can't fix it, but I hear what you're saying or give you the.

[Brian]

Tools, kind of help work through it to do that. Work through it, yeah.

[Chrissy]

Your brand of humor has largely, for me at least, watching you over the last decade has largely become this kind of stage catharsis. You're very raw, you're very open, telling your stories. You're a fantastic storyteller with such dry wit. Sometimes it's the things you don't say, Tig.

[Tig Notaro]

There's a lot. I don't say there's a lot.

[Chrissy]

Sometimes it's when you're not talking, Tig, that I laugh the hardest. I'd like you to know that I'm.

[Tig Notaro]

Well aware that some of my funniest moments are my quietest.

[Brian]

So, timing.

[Chrissy]

There's a musicality to it. Do you know that? I mean, you must know that. That there's a beat, a rhythm to what's going on up there with you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I mean, a lot of comedians are musicians or want to be musicians, and the same in reverse, you know.

[Brian]

You play piano?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yes, I do. But I do play a little bit of drums and guitar and. And, you know. But I do get asked if you know how, or people will ask, how do I decide when to pause or hold on on things? And. And it. I'm not. It's not that calculated. It's just. It is a rhythm within me. And I might tell the story differently if I'm sitting around having coffee with somebody, but when I'm on stage, there is this rhythm that. That runs through me and that's how I deliver it. I am not thinking at all like, oh, hold three seconds here, you know? Yeah, not at all.

[Chrissy]

I'm sure that's an exchange with the crowd. Also. It largely depends on for sure how you're feeling with the crowd. It's a back and forth, much like musicians will talk about. Yeah, well, I'll keep that guitar solo going an extra eight measures. If I see that the Crowd is enjoying what's going on.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

End it quickly if not.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Chrissy]

You. One of the things that I have found the funniest that you have done is your Taylor Dane story. And I know you probably get this a lot but this American life where Taylor comes out at the end. I've only seen this on. On YouTube so I don't really know is this. Did you know she was coming out? Because part of me thinks you knew and then part of me thinks you didn't know.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, wouldn't you like to know?

[Chrissy]

I would like to know. I know. Actually they just want you to say.

[Tig Notaro]

They actually just re aired.

[Chrissy]

Oh, they did?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. This last weekend. Oh.

[Chrissy]

On PBS on this American life on pr.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm sorry, they just. Yeah, that just re aired.

[Brian]

So it's a great scene.

[Chrissy]

You can tell me off air but I. Or I may never know. I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

But I would say you'll never know. I can confirm right now. You'll never know.

[Chrissy]

It's one of the great. It's one of the great moments in comedy is when Ira Glass says and now, ladies and gentlemen, Taylor Dane. After you tell the story and for those of you who don't know the story, go watch it on YouTube and I'm not going to try and retell the joke because it's hers and she does it so much better. But multiple run ins with Taylor Dane and you tell that story to great, to great effect. And I think that story is like when you tell that it is, I don't know, it's a prime example of where you are best is being your observational kind of pregnant paws here, you know, little nod to the crowd there. And it's so funny. What did you find funny as a kid growing up? Where did you get this kind of sense of humor? What was funny to you? What's the first thing you remember being funny as a kid?

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, I was definitely a class clown and I was all. I think I really liked the kind of. I mean, I liked so many different kinds of comedy.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Whether I was chiming in and saying something weird or I really liked the kind of, you know, long game of seeing a bit play out. You know, I remember an art class when I was in like seventh grade. Way too old to be doing this. The art tables were round and that was, you know, a. I don't know, eight kids at each table or something. Six kids at each table and we were doing some project with yarn and you know how art class is kind of chaotic and a Little different.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. It's not very structured.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. So I went underneath the table because nobody noticed anything. And I took a huge string of yarn and I wove it in between the other students shoelaces and I tied all of their shoelaces together underneath the table. So that kind of long game like plant a seed and wait and see how that plays out. I love that kind of thing. But my mother was very funny and she was. She was a very big personality. Really, really known for being funny and wild. And then my stepfather was very.

[Chrissy]

Just.

[Tig Notaro]

Very contained and, you know, just such. But he was all that was your parents?

[Brian]

Yeah, the wild one. The wild and crazy one. And my dad was very conservative.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was funny too, my stepfather, he was. He was very dry. Yeah. So I think I got a good mix of. Of the two of them.

[Chrissy]

Yeah. My mom was my mom, I think Chrissy. And I imagine sometimes we have the same parents as best friends because my mom was this midw loudmouth cigarette smoking on the phone till 4 o' clock in the morning. Always, always good with his story. The story never the same twice. Always good with a, you know, always with a punchline. Always funny. But my dad was extraordinarily reserved and never gave a hug or I'm proud of you. But he would drop a bomb and leave the room. He was that kind of jokester where someone would be talking about something and he'd throw a hand grenade in the middle. Everyone would laugh and he'd be out the room. Right. It was like he was one and done kind of guy. And I can see how you're telling the story now about your mom and your stepdad. You're like a mix of these two personalities.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. For sure.

[Chrissy]

You have this reservedness, but then there are moments when there seems to be some absurdity that comes out. Who are some of the. I always like to ask this of comics who are, I mean, really good, have been doing this for a long time and are really recognized. Who are some of the comics that you enjoy watching? Man. Now, now in 2025, who, who feels funny to you?

[Tig Notaro]

I love Maria Bamford.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah. She is just. I. I just think she's extraordinary. I really like this guy, John Doerr. He is. Talk about silly. He is real silly. I don't even know actually if we were talking about silly, but he's out of Canada.

[Chrissy]

Okay.

[Tig Notaro]

And. And then Aparna Nancherla.

[Chrissy]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I think she's incredible. My old roommate, Chris Fairbanks. He is so painfully funny. Yeah.

[Chrissy]

So where, where do you live? Where in the world are you living? You live in. Out now?

[Tig Notaro]

L. A? Yeah, I live in la.

[Chrissy]

You live in la? Do you still get a chance to go? Like, you're probably working on comedy all the time, right? That's your thing, that's your gig. Where do you go when you want to work out that set? Do you stay local and do you just go out there and hit up, say, hey, I want to come in and do 30 minutes, or I want to come in and do 15 minutes?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know, I've kind of. I'm not really that kind of comedian anymore. I was just in Toronto filming this new Star Trek series that I'm on, and when I had, when I had nights off, I would go out to the club, the Comedy Bar, a couple of times a week, mainly because I was, you know, I was in Toronto and was away from my family, and so I thought, well, I should just work on my new material when I'm free. But when I'm in la, I have regular shows at Largo or a place called Dynasty Typewriter. And I'll go in and do like, just last night I was at Dynasty doing an hour and a half. Like, I won't bring an opening act and I'll just go on stage for.

[Chrissy]

An hour and a half and holy.

[Tig Notaro]

Shit, work, work out stuff. But, you know, I think after getting married and having kids, that's my preference is to be home with my family. And so I'm not as out in the clubs is a lot of comedians. But when I do go out and work on material, I'll take about an hour and a half to do that. And it's usually maybe two or three times a month I do that.

[Chrissy]

That's incredible. Well, first of all, you probably have earned the right. I mean, you've got a family and all that, but then you've earned the right to get up there and do an hour and a half. That's. You've carved your own path. But in 90 minutes, standing up there, you know, cutting your teeth on new materials, sounds very scary. I mean, to me, for us. Yeah, for us, I enjoy the comfort. Yeah, we can hide behind the microphones here on the commercial break. I, I'd love to go do stand up, but I also have three children and a wife, and I'm a little bit longer in the tooth than a lot of the people out there that are doing it. And I just don't think I might. I, I know my wife wouldn't stomach the Travel. But I don't think I could stomach that being away from my kids for that long, or I'd really start to enjoy it. And that'd be. The problem is, like, I'd start to enjoy being away from. I'd be, huh, it's nice to be away from the kids with room service.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I. Before I had a family, I was just totally fine, bouncing around town to town, city to city, and now it feels so weird to be gone for too long and.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And I remember somebody telling me before I was married, had kids, they were like, oh, you know, these are my favorite people. This is who I want to be around. Like, about his family. And I was like, interesting. Those are your favorite people, huh? And then it's like, boom, I got married and I have. Yeah. And I'm like, these are my favorite people. This is who I want to spend my time with.

[Chrissy]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

And it sounds, you know, I don't know if it means. I'm sure some comedians would be like, well, then you're not a real comedian. But it's like, I've been doing this almost 30 years. I used to tour till I was.

[Chrissy]

You know, blue in the face. Yeah, fella, flat on your ass. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And it's like, I. I'm still doing shows and aside from local gigs that I do, when there's. I haven't toured in the past year and a half, but when. For the, like, a proper tour. But if a. A gig that looks good comes in, then I'll take it here and there. But I'm not actively trying to tour right now because I. I really just want some time off and I'm enjoying being home.

[Chrissy]

You know, the funny thing that you talk about, like, these are my favorite people. I have brothers, you know, brothers in their older. They may or may not ever give my kids cousins, and hopefully they do, but they probably won't. But they come over and I see their general irritation with the children. Like, they last 30 minutes, 30 minutes being good uncles, and then they get irritated. They wanna watch the football or the golf or whatever. And, you know, then they egg me to come out for drinks and I'll go out and I don't drink anymore, but I sit there and then I'm kind of get itchy and I want to go home. And they're like, ah, come on, man, we're gonna go to the next place. And I'm like, you know what? I really wanna be home with my family. And I know it's so hard for you to see. All you see is three little, you know, 15 little nightmares running around and irritation. But to me, that is what feels to me, like love. That's what feels. That's what takes me away from the stress, makes me feel good. That's my therapy is when I can throw my kids in the air or, you know, give them a hug, put them to bed, give them a shower. Those are the type of things that make me feel like I have purpose and drive and love.

[Tig Notaro]

Absolutely. I mean, my favorite time of the day is. I mean, Stephanie and I talk about this all the time. Like, I love every night, you know, after Max and Finn finish eating and playing and whatever, they go take a shower. And then they discovered the show Friends when we were on vacation, when they were five. And so we would let them watch when we were on vacation, they could watch that even though they didn't really get half the jokes. The laugh track would kick in. They'd die laughing. And then after this last Christmas break, Friends followed us home, and we have. We now have it as part of our routine that after they finish their showers, we get out popcorn, and we all watch an episode of Friends together. This is every night before bed, and then we go upstairs, and then we have reading time as a family, and we read for, like, 15, 20 minutes, and then we all discuss what we just read, and then they go to bed, and I. That part of the day is, hands down, my favorite time. And it's like, why would I not want to be doing that and be hanging out in a bar or in a club? Like, I just. I like to go in if I have material that I want to work on or I want to do. I want to go in and do it, and then I want to go home. I. You know, I'd rather just see comedians that I'm friends with for lunch or something.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, I know you just turned 28 again, but do you like me? Do you find that being an older parent, I think I realized more that these moments are fleeting and that I need to be in the moment, soak them in, and be aware of what's going on. Like, every. I want to eat every moment up. Because, like you, we have our routine. We play Tickle monster. My youngest calls it Ishl Monster. I don't know why she calls it Ishl Monster, but she does. And we run and scream, and people are banging their heads, and sometimes they're shipped to hospitals. But those are the moments that we. Those are the moments that we. I have insurance. Might as well use it. Those are the moments that I just, I'm so lost in a sea of this is incredible. And every moment I want to enjoy it. I think if I was 22 years old, defects may have my children. If I'm 22 years old and had kids a little bit older. And so I have this appreciation that I don't think I would have had had I had children younger. Do you, do you get that sense? Is that somewhere in your head?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, it's everywhere in my head. I'm just like. And not just that. I, I, Yes, I'm, it's, it's, there's positive and negative of being, you know, 54 with, I get two 8 year olds. But, but it, I feel like, you know how you see when parents turn into grandparents, they become more chill and.

[Chrissy]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Relaxed about things. And I feel like I got to be a parent at grandparent age, you know? And I also am so thankful that Stephanie is my partner because she is so phenomenal. She is such a great mother and she really, the decisions that she makes and the ideas that she has. I'm like, wow, I would have done that all wrong. I would have done that all wrong.

[Brian]

Yeah. You look like you make a great team.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I'm like, I am the luckiest person that you could possibly. The luckiest unlucky person. I like to say everything you've said.

[Chrissy]

Resonates so much with me. First of all, it's heartwarming. Second of all, it all resonates with me because with my wife, it all falls apart. Then I am just the tickle monster, raising my children on Doritos and skipping school every third day because I can't wake up on time to take them. Second of all, yeah, I think older. Like I told my dad one time, I remember having this, like, touching conversation with my father probably about two decades ago. We had a complicated relationship, like a lot of sons and fathers who, and daughters and fathers, quite frankly, and parents and children to have.

[Tig Notaro]

Right.

[Chrissy]

Complicated relationships with weird things that happened and misinterpretations and miscommunications. He comes from a different generation and he wasn't the most loving. And I was creative and I don't think he understood that. And I, I, I, like you, had a hard time in school, so I decided that wasn't my thing. He didn't, he didn't appreciate that. And I remember having this conversation in my 30s with him where I started talking to him in a car. And for some reason I just felt the need to say to my dad, I want you to know that I love you for everything you are and everything you're not. And that. And I'm gonna. This is gonna give me chills. This is gonna make me upset. And he had. Because he also got teary eyed and said, I made so many mistakes and I'm so proud of who you became. It was like the first time I'd ever heard my father say that.

[Tig Notaro]

Wow.

[Chrissy]

And you can't. You can't anticipate that your children aren't going to feel the same way, but you can hope that you do it a little bit differently and better. But one of the greatest joys of my entire life is watching my father be a grandparent to my kids, because he is the father that. He is the father that I never had with my kids. And that's just incredible to watch that he gets it. He got it. He gets it, right? And so in being older, I think now I have softened. The edges have softened. And now I get to try and hopefully be that father to my kids that I never had. But then they also have their grandfather that is being the father that I never had either. And that's just amazing to me. Did your parents get to see. I know your mother died right before Largo. Yeah. Was there any. Did you feel like your mom was proud of you? Did you feel like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you had a great deal of support?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, she thought my mother was an artist and she was, like I said, so funny and like life of the party kind of person. And. And my stepfather was not. Wasn't any of those things. And. But I am very thankful for what he contributed to my life. Even though there was like, really, it was really. He was in my life since I was 2 and he just, you know, he was just so rigid and buttoned up. And my mother was really my biggest cheerleader. And I had a similar experience when my mother died. We had buried her in Mississippi and we were driving away. My stepfather and I were driving away. And. And he said, you know, I owe you an apology. And I was like, oh, for what? And he said, for when I told you that your career was a waste of your time and your intelligence. And I said, oh, I was first of all surprised that he. I was devastated when he told me that because I failed three grades, I dropped out of high school. And I was proud of myself because I had made a life for myself in comedy and I was probably more successful making more money than most people that I knew that went off to college, even though I was Just doing comedy clubs. I was still making really good money. And I think I had made up in my mind that Rick, my stepfather, was proud of me and thought I had found this loophole. But he told me he thought it was a waste of my time and intelligence. And so when he apologized for that, I was so surprised. And he got choked up, which I had never seen before either. And he said, I had projected onto you the idea of what. And this is coming from, I mean, truly the most robotic man. And he was crying. And I was sitting there thinking, how is my mother missing this? Like, we've buried her. We're driving away. But I still think, like, if my mother knew that that happened, she would feel like, it doesn't matter when it happened. Just the fact that it happened is wonderful. And he said, you know, I had projected all of these ideas of what you were supposed to do, the path you were supposed to take, and it didn't line up with the map that I was looking at. And he said, and I realize now that it is not the child's responsibility to teach their parent who they are. It is the parent's responsibility to learn who their child is. And I did not do that, and I am sorry. And I was like, that's incredible. Oh, my God. I was stunned. I was absolutely stunned.

[Chrissy]

I had such chills right now, because that's like a life lesson that I think every parent needs to hear.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, truly. And that's how I try to see my children, is like, who are you? Who are we unwrapping here? Because I really, really want to support and nurture whoever these little guys are. And what was really amazing is, similarly to you, when I became a mother, I saw a side of my stepfather. I mean, he went shopping for them, for clothing, for toys when we. When. When they were, you know, newborns. He just. You could give him any list. And he was out the door. He and my brother were out diaper shopping and. And getting bottles and formula and. And they just. And I would see him on the floor with a fire helmet on, playing with my kids. And I was like, wow, I did not get this. I did not get this version either. But it. Such a joy. And there's this painting that somebody made of Max and Finn hugging each other. And I gave it to him. And when I went to visit him, one of the last times that I saw him and I walked in his house, and that's the first thing you see when you walk in his door is this painting of Max and Finn.

[Chrissy]

Oh, my God, that just touches me. Yeah. I didn't expect this conversation to get so emotional. I mean, I knew I was excited, but I didn't know I was gonna have a tear in my eye. Yeah. Something about having another life form. And I imagine it like a lotus flower that just kind of unfolds. Right. You're watching these personalities and these human beings develop. And I'm just here to make sure that the flower gets watered, and it's got good soil and it gets watered, and it's got a roof over its head during a stormy day and then let it unfold because, you know, the universe is a funny bitch, right. And she has a funny way of, you know, playing around with us. And I imagine that my kids are gonna give me just as much trouble as I gave my parents, and that's just the way it is.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

But I'm here for it because that is what life is all about. And, you know, and I want them also to know, you know, they're kind of wrapping this back into mental health. I also want them to know that good, bad, or indifferent, which is not what I sometimes felt with my own parents or my own dad, especially good, bad, or indifferent. My love is not conditional. It is not conditional upon who you love or who you date or what you do or how you style your hair or whether you wear a dress or shoes or pants. I don't give a shit about any of that. My personal choice might be different, but it doesn't matter, because that's your personal choice, and I love you unconditionally. Right? That's huge. And that's huge. And I think a lot of us, especially of our age, we did not get that because our parents grew up with parents, they were so much different. They were almost like, you know, apes out in the. Out in the woods, out in the jungle, you know, they threw them to the wolves and just let them, you know, just God bless you. Like, almost like little soldiers stamping them out and getting them to school and making sure that they didn't do anything wrong. And there was no limit to the punishments and all that other stuff. But we've learned. And so, you know, I know a lot of us suffer some form of PTSD from the way that we grew up or from the parenting or lack thereof. And so it's important to, you know, reconcile with that at some point so that you can be a better parent or human moving forward. Do you get, like, a vulnerability hangover sometimes from being out on stage and telling your life story and so raw.

[Tig Notaro]

I think I'm in a place where I'm finding a balance in my comedy because after or before 2012, I wasn't vulnerable really. I was pretty much mainly observational. And then I, of course, had that.

[Chrissy]

Took a left turn in Albuquerque.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Yes, I did. And, and then I realized, like, there is, you know, I do love silliness and I love observational comedy and I love, and I love sharing intense stories about myself. But I, I, I really have decided I'm gonna share what feels right when it feels right. I'm not gonna give the audience what they want because I realized what they want is what I want. You know, I have to be happy. I have to be up there wanting to really tell these stories and jokes because that was kind of a fear of mine. After my album, it's called Live, and after that came out, yeah, I thought, I remember I was in backstage in Iowa City. It was my first time to perform on the road after that album. And after I was healthy again and I was standing backstage going, oh, man, I'm gonna let this audience down. They're all here. It's a sold out theater. You know, my, my turnout had bumped up to where I was now doing theaters. And, and I just thought, I don't have any bad news to tell them. I just, you know, what if, you know, what if they only know me for having cancer and all of that stuff and I walked out?

[Chrissy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But I just thought, well, I just have to go out and do what I want to do and hopefully they'll follow. And they were incredible and it was such a fun show. And I will always be so thankful to Iowa City because I really thought this was where I was gonna kind of slip, slip off, you know, because I wasn't gonna give them what they wanted. And that's when I really realized, like, they just, they want me. You know, if they're a fan, they want me. And this is where I am right now. I'm not, I don't have cancer. I'm happy and I'm healthy and I have other things to talk about. So. Yeah, so I'm just finding that balance of what I'm sharing.

[Chrissy]

You know the comic, Neil Brennan? Yeah, yeah. So we had him on one time and I think he said something very similar. He said, I did depressed. I did that for a while. But that's not me any, you know, I've turned a corner. I have something else to say. Yeah, yeah. But if you, if people love you for you and they want to see your evolution Right.

[Tig Notaro]

I remember years ago, a friend of mine, a comedian, telling me that she noticed that this one stand up, had really painted himself into a corner because of his, I don't know, whatever his shtick was, stage Persona was his shtick, all of that. And she was just like, just make sure you don't paint yourself into a corner, that you're trying new things. If you want to do something new as a comedian, do it. If you want to try writing or acting or directing, just try everything. And, and I never thought about that for myself. I just thought, I'm just a comedian. I'm going to tell jokes. And, and, and I'm so thankful that she said that because I would have painted myself into a corner. I would have been like, no, I'm not, I'm not those things. This is what I do. And it's, you know, it's, it would have been a bummer.

[Chrissy]

Two things. Number one, you said something, and I forget where it was because I've been headlong in, in Tig for a couple weeks. But, but you said something that you got fired from one of your first jobs as like a comedy club host. Like a host, you know, you got a week long gig and you went up there and bombed the first set. And they said, hey, thanks anyway, but we're gonna, we're letting you go.

[Brian]

Emergency comedian.

[Tig Notaro]

Was that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Emergency fill in comedian.

[Chrissy]

Emergency fill in comedian.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Chrissy]

But then you walked outside and a friend of yours was pulling up and she said, they don't get you and they get me, but you're gonna thank your lucky stars that they don't get you. You're gonna find the people who get you, right? Well, you found the people that get you, Tick. And I think they're along for the ride. They're not here for the one, the one note wonder. But this brings up interesting because you're not just a comedian, you're also very much. My wife, who's Venezuelan, has no idea who you are. And I have enjoyed your comedy for a long time. And so I got so excited when I saw you pop up on the morning show with Jon Hamm and Jennifer Aniston. And I was like, that, that's Tig. That's Tig. And she's like, oh, wow, that's Tig. And I'm like, that's Tig. Why are you. Is there. Were you so excited to be a part of that project?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. What's up?

[Chrissy]

No, go ahead.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, I was just gonna say I had I'm, I've been friends with, I mean, all of them actually, Jon Hamm before he was ever Jon Hamm.

[Brian]

And he's so funny.

[Tig Notaro]

He's so, he's so funny. He's so talented. And Jen and Reese and, and I remember Jen had told me, I think first season that there was some role that they were going to use me for. And I was, and I was so excited. And then it didn't pan out and I was like, oh, well. And then sure enough, they did bring me in and then I'll be actually back this season too.

[Chrissy]

Oh, that's great.

[Tig Notaro]

But when we were going on the awards tour of you have to do all like the Q and A for the Emmys and globes and all that kind of stuff. And I would, I would be asked all the time, is it so nerve wracking to be on set with these huge actors? Like, actually no. They're, they're all old friends of mine and it should be an intimidating job to have, but I'm more intimidated. Like, I had a recurring role on Sex Lives of College Girls, the HBO series this last season, and I was, I was uncomfortable because I didn't know anybody there and I always feel like an imposter because I don't really identify as an actor. But like put me on the morning show, Reese, Jen, Jon Hamm, that's nothing.

[Chrissy]

Every A list star in town is on that show and Tig is like, yeah, I'm good.

[Tig Notaro]

I just happen to know them all from different things. I'm like, this is, this is awesome. This is so fun.

[Chrissy]

A wild reel this morning, or was it yesterday? Jon hamm on some cheesy 90s dating show with like long surfer hair and he was like one of the three guys where the girl was asking the question, you know, one of these just like age, you know, stereotypical 90s dating shows. It's the girls and some boostier and the guys are, I'll take you out for a day and lick your toes or something like that, who knows? Whatever. Anyway, it was fun. And he was one of the only gentlemen on there, by the way, just to let you know. So he's maintained that. And you just, you were sharing with us. You just produced the Sundance Film Festival award winning. Is this a documentary? So tell us about this. I'll let you share.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. My friend of 25 years, Andrea Gibson, is a non binary poet from Colorado. I mean originally Maine, but Colorado. We met in Boulder and Andrea is also the poet laureate of Colorado, a real talent, has published Eight books toured the world, sold out theaters everywhere. And Andrea has stage four ovarian cancer. And our mutual friend Steph Willen and I were talking one day, and Steph was like, this would make. I feel like Andrea's life right now would make a really great documentary. And, man, I haven't seen something so clearly in my life. It was one of those projects that was like, just green lights the whole way through. We found the best filmmakers to make the film. They did the Pamela Anderson documentary. Yeah. And we submitted to Sundance. I've been to Sundance four or five times. This movie got in unanimously. Everybody. Unanimously. It got in. And then it was really wild because we all rented an Airbnb at Sundance and. And went out there for the premiere. And because Andrea's not doing great, we were very specific and targeted with our time of going to premieres, doing whatever press we had to do. We weren't hanging out at parties and events. And like the previous Sundance experiences I had had, we all went back to. We were calling it Snuggle down, and we would sit by the fire, have tea, enjoy, just spend time together. And we knew that, man, this really screened well. But that's. That's all we knew.

[Chrissy]

That's all, you know? Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And we were like, well, this is. This is amazing. And. And we left. And I was. I went back to Toronto where I was filming, and I got this influx of texts and phone calls, and I. I got emotional because I was scared something happened to Andrea. And I called Stephanie and I was telling her I was so scared to call back. And she was like, you just. You have to. And it's going to be okay. And so I'm like, so emotional, scared to hear bad news. And I call Meg, who this movie is also about. That's Andrea's partner, who is also a poet. And I call and. And Meg answers, and she and Andrea are on speakerphone. They're like, did you hear? And I'm like, and I'm about to cry. And I'm like, what?

[Chrissy]

No.

[Tig Notaro]

What? And they were like, we won the festival. We won Sundance. And I was like, what? And then I'm, like, emotional in the other direction because we didn't have any clue or vibe what our movie was doing. And it took home the top prize. And it wasn't just of documentaries. It was scripted everything. And our director was like, man, movies like ours never take home this prize. And so it was pretty incredible. And the following festival was the Boulder International Festival, which was, like, a real homecoming for the film. And it happened to be right after Sundance and again won best documentary, won the top prize. And Ryan, the producer, his producing partner, Jess Meg, Andrea's partner, and my friend Steph, who originated the idea, were all on stage for the Q and A. I didn't go out because I wasn't feeling well, but at the end of the Q and A, and I'm so bummed that I missed this, they said, and Andrea was there, but was sitting in the back of the theater because they weren't doing well. And they announced, you know, Andrea is here and they're sitting in the back of the theater. And Steph said the entire theater stood up, turned around facing Andrea in this thousand seat theater and gave like a three minute standing ovation.

[Brian]

That's incredible.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Brian]

I can't wait to see this movie.

[Chrissy]

Yeah, it's called See Me in the Good Light. I'm sorry I cut it off.

[Tig Notaro]

No, that's exactly it. And I mean, there's a chance. And it was purchased. It'll be on a streamer and available later in the year.

[Chrissy]

But we'll give out that information when we're available to and hopefully that'll be today as this airs. But if it's not, we will let everyone know the day that it's announced.

[Tig Notaro]

It is a very powerful and also, Andrea is deeply funny. Deeply funny. And if you hear poetry and you're like poetry, this is poetry that is so accessible and it just hits you like a ton of bricks. Whether it is deep, touching, hilarious, it is so beautiful in this film. You walk out of a screening and you just really want to get living your life. And it's definitely sad, devastating, but it's also a deeply funny movie.

[Chrissy]

I think part of what has been so amazing about Funny to me, whatever that looks like, whether that's stand up comedy or your favorite show or practical jokes or poetry, whatever that is. What has been so amazing to me and what I have realized, especially in the last couple years of my life, life is that funny is a bridge that can get us from point A to point B and connect us in ways that we never expected. Just like music and a lot of other things in our life and love and passion. Funny is one of those tendons that is out there that keep us together and pull us in close when times get tough.

[Tig Notaro]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Chrissy]

And you are a living testament to that. And I thank you. Wanna let you know that your comedy has both touched me and made me laugh out loud. And I'm here for the ride. You found your people.

[Tig Notaro]

I really appreciate it. And thank you so much for having me on your show.

[Chrissy]

Thank you, Notaro. You are a gift. A gift to us all. You're a national treasure, Tig, and you're also welcome back on the show anytime. Thank you for joining us on the 12 of TCB. This has been enlightening and emotional, which I didn't expect. You get it. Five years, 1,000 hours, 750 episodes of the commercial break. I have yet to shed a tear, and Tig got me to do it. So there you go. Look at that. Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, thank you.

[Chrissy]

Thank you, Tig. We'll put all the information in the show notes. Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle. Puzzle with a hundred missing pieces. I remember searching for my first home, thinking, how does anyone do this without losing their mind? I wish I could go back and tell myself that the first step you should take is to find a realtor. They make everything make sense. From pre approvals to paperwork, from offers to closing. It's someone that you can trust that'll walk you through it all. They'll answer all the questions, even ones you don't know to ask. And when things are feeling a little bit overwhelming, you can count on them to keep you grounded. That kind of steady support, you cannot get that from going it alone or guesswork. A realtor knows the ins and outs of the California real estate market and helps turn what feels like impossible into done. Don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your next chapter. Find your realtor at champions of home.com. that's championsofhome.com. that's 10. 10 in the bucket, kids.

[Brian]

Oh, whoa.

[Chrissy]

The penultimate episode of TCB's Endless Day is in the can. Thank you very much to Tig Notaro Handsome, the podcast available everywhere. You find podcasts really funny. Podcast it really is. Was another TCB friend, Fortune Femster. And May Martin is also on the show. We haven't gotten her on the show yet, but we need to work on that. We'll work on that. Tig was wonderful. It was an emotional time for everybody. Please excuse all the crying, but, you know, hey, listen, it's taking the tar. She's like a legendary comedian, and then she comes on and she acts like you're like your big sister. What are you gonna. I know you just want to cry on her shoulder. She's got that kind of personality. She's been through it. Are you going through it? If you're going through it, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Any day of any month of any year. You can dial 998-Google-THE NATIONAL alliance on Mental Health Illness. There are free resources all over the place. Text or call that998 if you're in a mental health crisis or you're having an emergency or you're really up off, you're really in bad shape. You're not alone. There are professionals that can help you. Regardless of the resources you have available. Money wise, you can get the help that you need. Reach out to a friend, reach out to a family member. Reach out to emergency services if you're in that kind of situation. But don't go through it alone, Please, we're begging you. We've all been there. We have all been there. The tides will turn. Things will get better. No matter what's on, going, going on. All right. Five Hour Energy is our sponsor bringing you this with a limited commercial interruption. It's been a great day so far. We want to thank them very much for all the product they sent us and the sponsorship dollars to make this happen. It's been, it's been a great partnership with Five Hour Energy and here's to hoping it happens again. Maybe not 12 episodes, but on the next thing that we decide to do. Here's to hoping. Open. All of Tig's information is in the show notes. Check out Handsome, the podcast. I want to thank all of the people at Handsome also for running promos for us. 212-4333, TCB. Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas at the commercial break on Instagram and YouTube.com the commercial break for all of these episodes over the next couple of days, we'll roll out on video, but Tiggs is out right now. Okay, Chrissy, one more to go. I love you.

[Brian]

I love you.

[Chrissy]

Best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until we wrap this up at the top of the hour, we will say, we do say, we must say goodbye, Sam.