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Brian Green
TTCB's endless day. Our big birthday bash is proudly presented with limited commercial interruption by 5 Hour Energy. Spicy Cinco de Mango is a new flavor from the makers of Five Hour Energy and it is only available at five hour energy.com spicy Cinco de Mango is sweet, it's spicy and a tad unhinged, just like us. And we want to thank five hour Energy for bringing you this commercial break. With limited commercial breaks on this episode.
Chrissy Hoadley
Of the commercial break, now would be a good time to mention that Brian and Chrissy have absolutely no backup plan. If they don't stay on schedule, you'll be a nervous wreck, stressing out about the fate of this insanely meaningless stunt. Well, a girl can dream, can't I? Let us pray for some kind of meltdown today so things will stay interesting. But as of now, I guess we're still on track. The third episode of TCB's Endless Days starts now.
Brian Green
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial breaks Endless Day. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.
Unknown
Best to you, Brian, and best to.
Brian Green
You out there on the podcast universe. Got a little pep in our step. Moving right along on tcb's Endless Day.
Unknown
Second one.
Brian Green
Super excited. Yeah. Number two. Well, number three, actually.
Unknown
Number three.
Brian Green
Number three.
Unknown
That's right.
Brian Green
Let's get it. Let's get it right. It's number three, but it's number two that we're recording today, let's put it that way. So here we are Saturday, May 31st. Thanks for joining us. Some people already texting in that they're patiently awaiting episodes to come out. Okay, we're, we're doing it. We're a little late on the first one, but I think we're back on track. Chrissy, I'm not too worried about it it right now. Season number two of the commercial break was the. Was a very funny and lighthearted season of the commercial break. Still, I think we're mainly doing one episode a week. We get into two later half of the season. We find Teresa Caputo. We dig in our heels on Frankie.
Unknown
B. Frankie, that was the premiere.
Brian Green
Oh, that was our. Actually, Frankie B. Came in.
Unknown
He was the first.
Brian Green
He's season one. Yes, Frankie B. Is season one. We'll get to Frankie B later on, by the way, but Frankie B. Is season one. Teresa Caputo comes along. Mountain monsters. Come along, Paw paw Popper. Hold on one second. I Reloaded that. It's awesome. Look at it. It's a po Po Popper. It's skinny John Popper. The mountain monsters had an episode where they were chasing a paw. Paw popper. Like a paw popper or something like that. And we were like, is that Skinny John Popper? What's going on there? Still skinny, by the way. John Popper. I saw him playing at a festival somewhere. They had like a live something they were doing. I think it was.
Unknown
I thought they were playing somewhere. Maybe it was like Minneapolis.
Brian Green
No, it was in London. They were playing that big day or, I don't know, something BBC something. Brian got it wrong Brian got it wrong oh, you know I'm getting it wrong I'm getting it wrong all day long Brian got it wrong yeah Brian got it wrong yeah Brian got it it wrong yeah Will I ever get it right? People are right again Saying is those songs are driving them crazy. They're running around the house.
Unknown
I know. Well, they are catchy.
Brian Green
I know. I put the best to you song in yet on Friday, and it was like, best to you. What is it? Hold on, I'll play it for you. Why not? We got. We got hours to kill. Why not? Best to you. Best to you. Best to you.
Unknown
I can't help but do a little dance playing the Cassia keyboard.
Brian Green
Oh, such a good one. That's a good one. So anyway, so I'm watching John Popper, skinny John Popper. And he is still got that very high falsetto voice. He can get there still. Great. Good for him. Even without all the extra air. I like my John Popper. 1990s John Popper. Yeah. Because he's just a jolly old guy. But, man, have they changed every single member of that band. Except for John Popper. I mean, he's the only guy left. Yeah. The guitarist is gone, the drummer is gone, the bassist's gone. I think they all look different. It's. And every couple of years they all look different. So I think he's just kind of rotates them in and out. Blues Traveler. The other members of the band travel in and out of the money train that is Blues Traveler. And John Popper gets to keep all the cash. But he probably wrote all the songs because, you know, he's a very talented musician. Anyway, season number two, we did a lot of stuff in season number two. Speaking of music. Well, let me tell a little story here. First, I was watching John Popper and on whatever this was live. And then on came the band Haim. You know who Haim is? The three sisters, the Ham sisters, they. She. They just finished a long stretch with Taylor Swift. And so astrid and I. 2023. 23. 23, yeah. 2023. When the commercial break was making money or being paid money, let's put it that way. When the commercial break was being paid money, we got gifted tickets to go see Taylor Swift in L. A In, like, the fourth row. It was amazeballs. We were right there, right behind the celebrity tent, every single. And Esther and I thought about this afterwards. Taylor Swift did something really smart. She put a tent, right, like, I don't know, maybe 10 rows over to the side of the stage. It was one of those stages that just goes out into the crowd. And to the right and to the left on each side, there were these tents that she would put up. And those tents were VIP tents. I don't know where they were covered. It was an indoor stadium, but whatever. Okay, all right, whatever. And then they would have a bar and get served food and all this other stuff, and she would invite her celebrity friends, and the celebrity friends would sit in those tents. That was part of the allure, I think, for being in the stadium was that you were also going to be around celebrities.
Unknown
That's true.
Brian Green
They were gonna be in the crowd with you. I didn't think about it until a year later, and then I was like, that was a really smart move on Taylor's part. Put together a little party on each side of the stage. Invite your celebrity friends to come each place you go. And then people wanna be in the stadium because they know they're not just gonna see Taylor. They're gonna see who?
Unknown
Sightings of whoever.
Brian Green
Who's that girl? Ryan Reynolds, Girlfriend. That. Everybody. Lively. Blake Lively. Wow, what a nightmare that is. Anyway, don't want to get sidetracked here. So as her and I have these wonderful seats to the show, you can see Taylor, like, the whites of her eyes. She's, like, looking at you when she's singing. It's that close. I can't hear a fucking thing because everybody is screaming around me at decibels I've never heard before. I'm talking like it made your brain shake kind of loud like you were it like you were next to a 747. It was unbelievable. So I'm doing my best to get along with all the girls in the crowd, and I'm having a good time. And it's Taylor Swift. So, you know, she's pretty, the songs are boppy, she puts on a great show, moves along. Yeah, it was A good show. I liked it. I give it a 7.9 or 8.1. 7.9 to 8.1 out of 10. But halfway through, I got to go pee. I'm down on the floor at the la. Whatever the fuck it is. And it's her last show, by the way. And so for that leg of the tour. For that leg of the tour. Right. Her last American show, Her last US Tour show. So, you know, Disney's filming it or whatever they're doing. I don't know. So I have to go to the bathroom. And I don't know where to go to the bathroom because we're actually on the floor. And so it's not like you can just go up the stairs like you normally wouldn't go to find the public restroom. I'm on the floor. And the way we got into the stadium, we had to go like through the bottom of, you know, the players locker room or whatever. So we had. So I just go to the first door I see and I ask the security guard, where's the restroom? And the security guard says, go through here. Right this way. Okay, great. So I go through and then all of a sudden I end up in like a green room, like a bar area. Did I tell you this?
Unknown
No, but this is a theme with you.
Brian Green
Yeah.
Unknown
Moon Taxi.
Brian Green
I ended up. Yeah, like the Moon Taxi. Weird. All of a sudden, I'm in the green room of something. I don't know where I am and I don't know where the restrooms are. So there's a bunch of people sitting at. They're drinking. It's a bar. It's a posh bar. There's a bunch of TVs in there. Everyone's watching Taylor, having a good time. It's very Laish. The whole crowd is very. All the girls are dolled up. All the guys are slick back. You know, there's a lot of money in this room. You can tell. And now I'm completely lost. There's a lot of money in the room. Except Brian walked in and reduced the average balance of everyone's bank account by 100,000 DOL.
Unknown
Yes.
Brian Green
Yes. My Platinum American Express expired three years ago, but I still carry it just in case I want to whip it out. And they go, oh, no, I don't want to use that one. I want to use my Diners Club, my Merrick bank prepaid credit card. I don't want to burn out the Amex. Let me use my. Yeah, let me use. Do you take MasterCard? Prepaid Walmart?
Unknown
Sir do you take MasterCard minus.
Brian Green
Yes. Do you take MasterCard plus minus. You take MasterCard 500. That's my credit score.
Unknown
And limit.
Brian Green
Yes, and limit. Because I paid it to MasterCard to make it my limit. It's prepaid. It's helping my credit score go to 550. So here I am in the middle of this room, like, dumped out into the middle of this room. And I'm like. I turn to the left, and there is a lady that's standing there. And I go, I'm sorry, do you know where the bathroom. Do you know where the restroom is? And she's like. Like, kind of gives me this look. And she goes, come this way. And I'm like, okay. So I'm following her, and then all of a sudden, standing there in the middle of the hallway are three girls. And instantaneously, because they had just gotten off stage, I recognize it as Haim. And I'm like, oh, hey.
Unknown
Oh, hey.
Brian Green
Hey, Haim. You guys. You girls did a great job. That was one of the better. I just said, you know, that was one of the better opening acts I've ever seen. That was great. You have so much energy. And they're like, oh, thanks. Thanks so much. Thank you very much. And then I'm just standing there because the girl has now gone down some hall, some extra hallway that I don't know. The girl I was following is now gone. And I'm like, sorry to bother. Do you know where the restrooms are?
Unknown
You're asking Haim.
Brian Green
And, like, Haim's manager is. It's like, four of them. There's, like, a manager standing there who's like, we're going to go here and we're going to do this, you know, she's like, giving them the scoop on whatever there's next. And then one of the Haim girls goes, I think, can you take him to the bathroom? And now Haim's manager is taking me to the restroom. So now I'm walking down the guts of the LA Coliseum, or whatever it is.
Unknown
The Forum.
Brian Green
The Forum. Not the Forum. Where the. I don't know, the Rams or the. Whatever. The Chargers. Who fucking cares? And Sofi Stadium. Excuse me?
Unknown
That's what it was. Sofi. Yeah, that's right.
Brian Green
So I'm walking and I go to the bathroom. I use, like, this private bathroom. So I go to this private bathroom, I use it, and then I open the door and for the life of me, cannot remember which way I came in. Cause I was like, no, I just saw Haim So I'm all confused now. I'm in the back of some green room. Guts on backstage. I don't know what's going on. And so I take a left, and I'm supposed to take a right. I take a left, I open the door because there's, like, you know, three hallways, and you can go through a door in each one. And so I just go to the left, and I open the door, and there I am in this huge garage area. And all of the Taylor Swift people with their headset, the buses, everybody standing there, the crew, but no one is standing there to tell Brian Greene, who has no pass whatsoever, that you, in fact, cannot be back here. Yeah, I am now back under the guts of the SOFI stadium with all of the crew, her buses, her trailers, her everything. And I'm like, wow, cool. And in the corner, there is a merch table. And that merch table. They are packing up merch. I can see them packing up T shirts and stuff like this. Well, if you tried to get into a merch table outside of the garage of the sofi stadium, it was an hour and a half wait. It was line after line after line. Everyone was waiting in line for days to get, oh, I'm sure Taylor Swift.
Unknown
Merch at the show. Yeah.
Brian Green
To which Astrid was very disappointed because she wanted something. But, you know, we weren't gonna. We were being reasonable with ourselves. We're not gonna wait for three. We'd rather see the show. We can buy a T shirt online. But now I'm back here, and I'm like, oh, I wonder if I could go up. And there's nobody there, by the way. Nobody. And people are packing stuff in these very beautiful bags. Or just. I can just see them packing stuff. But it's a merch table, clearly. So I walk up and I say, hey, can I buy something? And the girl. There's like two girls back there, and one girl's got a headset on. And the one girl looks at the other girl with the headset on, and she's like, can you buy something? And then the girl's like, can you buy something? Can a guy who had to go to pee, can he buy something? Yeah. No, he doesn't look threatening. His credit score is 500.
Unknown
I'm surprised how alarm didn't go off.
Brian Green
We've got a loser.
Unknown
We've got a loser.
Brian Green
It looks like he's down on his luck. Can he buy something? Go ahead, let him buy something. Charge him double. 10, 4. So the lady's like, sure, you know. Oh, okay. And so I'm texting Astrid furiously. What do you want? Taking pictures. What do you want? You know, hurry up. Meanwhile, this girl's like, you know, da, da, da, da. And while I'm waiting for Astrid to respond, I can see that they're putting names on the tags.
Unknown
It's like the celebrity gift bags.
Brian Green
The celebrity gift bags. They're packing up celebrity gift bags. And so I go, oh, are you like, packing up celebrity gift bags? Like, you know, stuff for celebrities and stuff? She goes, yeah, we'd make these little gift bags that, you know, we give to some of the friends and some of the people that show up. And I was like, oh, cool. Do you have my name on one of those?
Unknown
Right?
Brian Green
She. Not a bit of irony in her face. She goes, no, no. Okay. I just saw Haim. Haim knows me well, then tell Haim to come here and get you a bag. So finally, you know, Astrid doesn't respond. So I'm like, let me get a shirt in medium. Like this shirt in medium. I'm just gonna guess, right? And then she's like, okay. And then she has to run around finding a charge card machine, and finally she finds one, and I swipe it and I go and I grab the shirt and I find. Managed to find my way back. And I was the hero for the night. I said, hey, Astrid. She didn't like the T shirt, but, you know, at least I bought her, right? So whatever. And then the night goes on and the whole thing and. But it just was unbelievable that I managed to get past all of Taylor Swift's security to get back to her buses or whatever in the garage. I was not. It doesn't surprise me either. I'm an idiot like that. I stumble my way into situations and then I just look friendly, I guess, or I can talk. So people just kind of go, whatever. He's not going to shoot up the place. That's clear. Look at that guy's belly. He's not shooting up anything. That guy never spent a day in his life in the military. Season number two, Speaking of music, season number two also came with all the accoutrements that you would expect, including Brian telling the world that something he had, something I hadn't mentioned in a decade.
Unknown
You revealed it to me.
Brian Green
Even I revealed it to Chrissy. She had known me for almost 15 years at that point and had never known that I wasn't in one band. I was in two bands. As a singer of those bands, one of them was named 33 Willie. It was a high school band. All of them have phallic names, by the way. Yes.
Unknown
Which I promptly named 33 penis, and that became 33p.
Brian Green
33P. There you go. So if you hear us talking about 33p, that's what it is. My high school band. My high school band and I just a collection of a couple of guys that knew relatively how to play instruments. One really talented guitarist and bassist named Dan, One pretty damn good drummer named Mike. Bassist who left us after the first practice. And then we had to get a kid. We were like juniors in high school. We had to get a kid that was, like, in eighth grade to play the bass for our live show. So it's rather embarrassing. We had, like, a kid playing bass and then.
Unknown
Wait, is this also when you were taking saxophone lessons?
Brian Green
Oh, I was a saxophonist. Yeah, I was a saxophonist. I was a saxophonist. Yes. I was. Chrissy. I was. Yeah, I was in the band in high school, and I played Sexyphon, but I wasn't good. I wasn't.
Unknown
You didn't play it in this band?
Brian Green
No. I decided not to break out the sexy phone for my grunge rock band. My very much wanted to be Pearl Jam, Alice in Chain. You know, we were all trying to emulate the thing that was popular back then. There was no originality to it whatsoever. We were just trying to be, like, quote, unquote, whoever. I mean, you know, we tried our best, but it was clear that we were just mimicking what we were hearing. And we were also kids, 16, 17 years old.
Unknown
Well, to be. To be fair, in defense of.
Brian Green
In defense of.
Unknown
In defense of you guys. So were many other bands doing that other band.
Brian Green
Some bands got famous emulating other bands.
Unknown
Exactly.
Brian Green
Creed, Stone Temple Pilots, everybody else, you know, they all emulated the first two that came out, which are the first three or four. Nirvana, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam. That's it. Those four were the big four. And I mean, arguably, there were others in the more, like, indie scene, like Nine Inch Nails and the Pixies in, you know, White Zombie. Whatever you want to.
Unknown
Right.
Brian Green
We can go down the list.
Unknown
But that sound.
Brian Green
That sound. That Seattle grunge rock sound. And we were trying to be the next Seattle grunge rock band from Cobb County, Georgia.
Unknown
I was right outside of Atlanta.
Brian Green
Yeah, right outside of Atlanta. And we were practicing in my. This guy's dad was a guitarist. That's what he did. He was like a session musician.
Unknown
Oh, okay.
Brian Green
He played in bands on the weekends to money, and he worked out of. At a Music studio or something. So he really. So we really had a soft place to fall. They allowed us to use their attic. They're like finished attic as our practice space.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brian Green
And he gave me the. Dad gave me my first Stratocaster. He gave me a red pearl inlay Stratocaster. And he charged me, like, 150 bucks for it. And I could pay him, like, you know, $10 every time.
Unknown
That was nice.
Brian Green
It was incredible. And so I had this Strat. Barely knew how to play, barely knew how to sing, but here I was with a book full of lyrics that were terrible. Terrible. Also. It's the 90s. Everybody's an angst, right? Everybody hates being everybody. Everything is awful. If we only knew. If we only knew. Could we just go back to that time? Can we just go back to that time when the worst thing possible happening was puberty and not everything else in the world? But Anyway, that band, 33p, played a show that I revealed on episode number 43. 23, whatever it was of the commercial break. Played a couple of live shows, but our very first live show, we got invited to play a party. A friend of a friend of a friend. His parents were out of town, and he was going to have a party at noon, right in the afternoon because he didn't want to rile up his neighbors. And his parents were going to be back early the next morning. Party started at noon. Keg of beer was going to be there. Hundreds of people were going to show up. House party. Old school house party.
Unknown
Good old house party.
Brian Green
Could you. Could. Could we play or could you play? I forgot how it goes because it was a friend of a friend. I wasn't involved in that conversation. All I knew is we were going to go show up, bring our equipment.
Unknown
It's your first gig.
Brian Green
It was our very first gig, and I was sweating profusely for three days ahead of time because it was fun to play in the attic when it was just us, but it was going to be some other eyeballs on us. I mean, I would get a panic attack when. When Dan's dad would come up and listen to.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brian Green
Which was not often because he knew about how bad we were. But now we're going to play in front of actual strangers in a house party and in my head for days ahead of time. This is going to be hundreds of people, right? Standing around, hundreds of people.
Unknown
See the movies.
Brian Green
Yeah. Like old school, Right. There's going to be a thousand people in the backyard, and I'm going to be playing on the stage. Right. Snoop Doggy Dog. We get there, and there may be six people milling about, and three of them are related. You know what I'm saying? It's like the brothers of the house or whatever. Nobody. No females, all guys. No keg of beer. There's like some, you know, Zima in the refrigerator. Oh, the old Zima. There's some Zima in the refrigerator. And maybe a case of Natty Ice. I forget. It was not what we expected at all. There was no stage. We couldn't play in the backyard because the guy didn't want his neighbors to find out that there was a party. So we had to play inside. Where could we play? Wherever you guys want to. So we scope out the family room, fireplace in the background, furniture, coffee tables, everything in the middle. And we spend the next hour moving the furniture out of the room so that we can set up our shit.
Unknown
Nice.
Brian Green
And we set up our shit and we play 10 songs, nine songs. And it was recorded for posterity's sake. And I think it's the only thing that lives and breathes besides a videotape of our live first live show at a club, like, at an actual venue. But I don't have access to that. Mike Skierski. I want that. He told me. He told me he would get it to me. I haven't seen it, but he did give me this. He had this. He gave me this. We played some of this 696 episodes ago. We played some of this. I, Chrissy, went and remastered it to clean it up a little bit. A little bit. It's still very muddy. It's an old tape recorder. It's like back before any of this technology existed. You just press record on an old tape recorder and put it, you know, in front of you and hope that it caught anything. It caught some of it, but I was able to use some technology to master it and to pull out the stems, the vocals, the drums, the guitar, turn it into.
Unknown
Look at what you've done.
Brian Green
So to take myself to a further level of embarrassment, I have Now Remastered the 33P Live from Shady Oaks party. Oh, and by the way, by the time we started playing a couple hours after we got there, There was maybe 40 people there. There was 30 of those people in the room when we started. There was two. By the time the first song was over, everybody left everyone that. No one had any interest in hearing what we had to play. So in some sense, it made me more comfortable because at least it was familiar territory, no one watching us. But in another sense, it Was a. It was a sad day when we all got done. Cause I was like, wow, we're either really bad or people just. We're really bad. There's no other option. We're really bad or we're really bad. There's no other option. But I have that remastered tape, Chrissy, believe it or not, and I'd like to play it for you because we have lots of time to kill and because I'm a glutton for punishment. What do you say?
Unknown
I say we listen to it.
Brian Green
We're gonna take a short break. All of this is brought to you with limited commercial interruptions by our great sponsor, Five Hour Energy, sponsoring the entire endless day. You're only going to hear one commercial in the middle of every episode because of five hour energy. So thank them. 988 is the number that you dial if you or anyone you know is in mental health crisis or you desperately need some help. Help with your mental health. 988, you can text or you can call English or Spanish and get the help that you need, regardless of the resources you have available financially. So we're doing this to celebrate. We're doing this because Five Hour Energy is awesome. We're doing this because we love you. And then we're also doing this to remind you that mental health is, as if not more important than any other health. You check up, you probably take care of your body. You probably take, you know, weight train, run, exercise. Not me, but you. You probably do all of that stuff. You eat right or try to eat right emotionally and mentally is where things can really come off the tracks and get bad. 9, 8, 8. Dial it if you need to. Don't go through it alone. Call a friend, call a family. Call your mama, call your papa. Call tcb, call somebody. Don't go through it alone. The grass is always greener on the other side. I promise you'll live to fight another day. As long as you live to fight another day. All right, we'll take a break and we'll be back.
Chrissy Hoadley
All right, all right. All right, cats and kittens, you're in the middle of another episode during TCB's endless day. Make sure you're following us hecommercial break on Instagram for more information on all of today's events and maybe even a live streaming recording. Wouldn't that be a miracle? You know, now would be a really good time to call in and give Brian and Chrissy some moral support. They've been at this for, like, what, 6 million hours? 2, 1, 2, 4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Be sure to catch all these episodes a second time on video@YouTube.com thecommercial break and get your free exclusive Endless Day sticker by visiting tcbpodcast.com and dropping us a line on the contact us button. Okay, I'm gonna go. Or I'll run the risk of being the second person on this podcast to talk way too much.
Brian Green
Looking right at you, Brian.
Chrissy Hoadley
Best to you.
Unknown
Foreign.
Brian Green
Are you buying a home in California? Yeah. It can feel like trying to solve a puzzle with a hundred missing pieces. I remember searching for my first home, thinking, how does anyone do this without losing their mind? I wish I could go back and tell myself that the first step you should take is to find a realtor. They make everything make sense, from pre approvals to paperwork, from offers to closing. It's someone that you can trust that'll walk you through it all. They'll answer all the questions, even ones you don't know to ask. And when things are feeling a little bit overwhelming, you can count on them to keep you grounded. That kind of steady support, you cannot get that from going it alone or guesswork. A realtor knows the ins and outs of the California real estate market and helps turn what feels like impossible into done. Don't let what you don't know stop you from starting your next chapter. Find your realtor@championsofhome.com that's championsofhome.com I like the music underneath the liner with Rachel.
Unknown
I do, too.
Brian Green
Yeah. It's so much better than anything we're about to hear. All right.
Unknown
The stock music.
Brian Green
The stock music is so much better than anything I ever created. Those people are talented.
Unknown
They are.
Brian Green
Yeah. Those stock, like the guys and girls who make the music that we use. It's like a subscription service, and then you can, you know, you're licensed to use it, essentially. Some of them are really talented. They do a really good job. Not us. Okay, so 33p. I don't know. Let me guess the year now. I don't want to guess the year because then you know how old I am. It's the 90s at some point. Right. I'm a teenager. 16, 17 years old. I'm the singer and the lead guitarist for 33p and live from Shady Oaks.
Unknown
And was this with the. Still with the eight? The eighth grader on bass?
Brian Green
I think the eighth. I know. I actually. I think the guy who originally played bass with us Actually played bass in the band. If I'm not mistaken, it might have been Dan's brother that did that. I don't know. I can't remember. I don't remember the b. You know, everybody, like, you know, like Spinal Tap, the drummer comes in and out. We had the same problem with the bassist. Like, you know, they would die or explode on stage or something like that. They didn't show up. They had a bad drug problem. I don't know. We always had a problem with the bass. But then again, we were only together for, like, six months. We're not talking about a long stretch of time. I mean, I think it was clear to everybody that this was not. We were not going to be the next breakout hit. Back in the 90s, there was a band. What was that band? You're Gonna Wait Too Fat Boy. Fat Boy. Wait Till Tomorrow.
Unknown
Right, right, right.
Brian Green
Do you remember that band? Australian band. They were kids, like, 13 years old, and they had an album that went nuts off this song called Fat Boy. Like, you're gonna wait Too Fat boy. Text in 2, 1, 2, 4, 3, 3, 3. TCB or I'll Google it later. But they went crazy. And when that. I think this is, like, right around the same time when they came out. And so everybody imagined that we would just be found and discovered that they could do it, too, at 16 years old. But, you know, you actually have to be good to do that. So, like, those guys had. It wasn't the best music in the world, but it was catchy. It was a catchy tune. All right, where do we start here? I think Sunny side Up is where.
Unknown
Oh, well, that's one of my faves.
Brian Green
This is Muddy. It's a little bassy, so turn down your volume a little bit, maybe. This is Sunny side Up, a song that I wrote both. I wrote it all. I wrote the music, I wrote the lyrics. And that is not a compliment to myself. I'm just trying to save the other guys from embarrassment.
Unknown
Right. Put all the blame on yourself.
Brian Green
That's right. I'm putting all the blame on myself. Dan, Mike, you guys could. You guys can hide in the closet on one. On all of them, really. It's all my idea. It was all my idea. All right, here we go. Sunny side Up. Live from the Shady Oaks Retirement Center. Here we go. Oh, yeah, you gotta love it.
Unknown
What a way to kick off the noon hour on a Saturday.
Brian Green
I know. This is, like, what a way to get your party started. Yeah. Wait, it's. The good part's coming up after this episode.
Unknown
Oh, yeah, you can hear the angst.
Brian Green
Yeah. Sunny's not up. What am I doing? This is embarrassing. How terrible is this?
Unknown
I mean, hey, it doesn't sound too bad for a high school band.
Brian Green
For a high school band.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brian Green
It's not the. It's not the worst thing I've ever heard.
Unknown
Right.
Brian Green
I was listening to this yesterday, and I was like, well, it could have been a lot worse.
Unknown
It could have.
Brian Green
We could have not known how to play the instruments at all, which I think is some of the music that's popular now. Up. I think I heard someone go, yeah, I did, too. I think it was our drummer.
Unknown
That's right. Kick it. Kick into it.
Brian Green
Yes, that's right.
Unknown
What did Sunnyside up mean?
Brian Green
I have no idea.
Unknown
Okay, fair enough.
Brian Green
I really have no idea. I honestly have no clue what I was singing about. I tried to pull out the lyrics with, like, a AI software program, but the. Again, AI foiled me. Yeah, it broke. Well, it came up with some of the lyrics, but it's so muddy that it can't, like, distinguish it. The truth is, is that I think Sunny side Up had something to do with being on drugs.
Unknown
Okay. Maybe it was left over. Maybe you were thinking of that commercial that they used to run back in the 90s with the, this is your brain on drugs. Drugs, and it was an egg.
Brian Green
You might be right, because I do talk about drugs, you know, all fucked up, taking the drugs. I'm like, the drugs I'm taking the things I'm baking, whatever. Sonny side Up. I also think it may have been something that we used to say to each other after a long night of, like, tripping or smoking weed. Like, oh, Jesus, I'm so side up, you know, Like, I'm toast. I'm fried, essentially. So it was my, you know, set, satirical way of letting you know that I was all fucked up. Little did I know that 20 short years later, I just let everybody know how many drugs I was taking. I just go ahead and say it out loud. So there you go. There's there that. I think that was our first song that we played for the night. But let's cut right to the chase. For the day, for the day, for the morning. That was our first. That's our first morning song.
Unknown
Well, Sonny signed up Sunny side Up.
Brian Green
There you go. Getting everybody go. And, hey, listen, I did hear one person go, yeah, yeah.
Unknown
It was your fan.
Brian Green
We had this good friend named Bob who's still friendly with all of us today. Saw him at my brother's engagement Party.
Unknown
Oh, you did?
Brian Green
Yeah. And he's kind of like, oh, I saw Mike. I saw Dan about a year and a half ago. I see these guys still. I still see them. We still reminisce, you know? And Mike swears it's good. He's like, that show that we did at the rec room, which was the actual club. He's like, it's good, man. You were good. It's good. And I'm like, yeah, I think that's nice of you to say, but I'm not convinced at all that any of this is good. Listen to my.
Unknown
Going.
Brian Green
I'm not even singing. I'm mumbling. It's like mumble rap.
Unknown
You were figuring things out.
Brian Green
I was. And how could I do that to my voice? That sounds so bad? So I still see them. So, you know, I saw this guy Bob, who was like, he wasn't in the band, but he was, like, in our circle of friends, and he was always with us and hanging out. You know, I guess you could call him a supporter of the band, mainly because he. He hung out with us, not because he liked the music. But he also sometimes listens to the commercial break, though. I think he pretty. Thinks it's pretty terrible. I think that's his general opinion. This is not his flavor of podcasting. He's more of the. I think the kind of the Joe Rogan type guy. But he did love that we had Ari Shafir on. He loved that thing in the world. So I was talking to Bob, and, you know, Bob was saying he thinks he remembers being at this show at the Sunday side Up show. So I think when you hear someone screaming in the background, I think it's Bob, because Bob got free Zima.
Unknown
Thanks, Bob.
Brian Green
Yeah, thanks, Bob. I think Bob got free Zima, and I think that's why Bob was screaming, yeah, yeah, free Zima. All right. But as we get further into the show, I decide that we really need to bring the crowd back into it. You know, we don't want to lose the crowd that we've already lost. We want to try and bring them back into it. So if I remember this correctly, there was, like, a short intermission in the 10 songs that we played. We had to take an intermission, I think, just so we could figure out if we could get anybody else to come back in and listen to us, and we let people know that we were gonna play some cover tunes. Now, I can only find one cover tune that we actually played. It's probably the only one we actually knew how to Play. And that was Killing in the Name of by Rage against the Machine, which was all the rage back then. Still is Rage against the Machine one of the greatest bands ever. And their political messaging is always on point. They are smart. This is smart rock and roll. And they went at the man at every turn. And it was rage, rage, rage. In some of the most incredible music you've ever heard. Brian found a way to fuck it all up. I couldn't even get it right. All I had to do was just emulate Zach de La Roque. Yeah, that's all I had to do. But instead I decided to put my own spin on Killing in the Name of. A little more melodic, if you will, Chrissy. Because that's what Killing in the Name of needs is. A little bit more melody.
Unknown
Let me show you how it should have been done.
Brian Green
Putting some trills in there. Yeah. Killing in the name of. Do do do do do do. Killing in the name of. So not only do I have the song. We'll listen to that. But then I have the vocals pulled out too so we can hear. So all the world can hear my musical stylings killing me.
Unknown
You have them separated out.
Brian Green
Separated. Okay, let's listen to the whole song first. I want you to get your bearings, Tasty Tina. Get your bearings about where we're at in this adventure. Here we go. I think you all know it. I think both of you know it. Oh, there's some people in the background.
Unknown
There are. Well, that bass sounded good.
Brian Green
Yeah. Because I'm not playing.
Unknown
Are you getting the feeling?
Brian Green
Yep. Yes, I'm getting. All those feelings are coming rushing back to me now. I'm a kid again. Chris. Yes. Oh, yeah.
Unknown
I mean that sounds good.
Brian Green
Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I'm not playing, right. Oh, I forgot to mention I'm not playing guitar here.
Unknown
Oh, okay.
Brian Green
Some of those that want to force it.
Unknown
Yeah, come.
Brian Green
I'm harmonizing. Killing in the name of.
Unknown
Now they do what they told you.
Brian Green
Now you do what they told you do you do what they told you. Do what they told you. You do what they told you. Oh, go, Brian. Getting asked. Okay, now. Okay. Sounds good, right? Sounds great. Sounds like a. Like a terrible cover to cover of Killing in the Name of. But let's pull out the. Let's pull out just the vocals first. Why am I doing this to myself?
Unknown
I don't know.
Brian Green
I'm putting this out there. Never going to be retracted. All right, here we go. It's going to take a minute because you have to go through the whole song. So let's wait a second as it goes through it. I don't have a way to like. It's a great song. I think you all know it. Oh, and it sounds a little weird because it's pulling it out of a live feed. Try and get up, bitches. Try and get up, bitches.
Unknown
You were hard.
Brian Green
Ooh, yeah. I had the chain around my wallet, Right?
Unknown
And your dog.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah, Chrissy. No fucking around here. I went for it, bitches. In for a penny, in for a pound. This is so terrible. So terrible. Okay, it's coming up here, I think. Oh, wait, where'd it go? It's. It's so. It's so fussy, but it. I think there's a part coming up here. Killing in the name of some of those evolved forces. Some of those.
Unknown
Oh, you're getting into it.
Brian Green
Oh, yeah. Come on. Yeah.
Unknown
Come on.
Brian Green
Come on, bitches. Bitches? Who am I calling bitches? I can guarantee there were no females in the crowd. Killing in the name of was not their thing. Thing. You suck us. Do what they told you. You suck us. Do what they told us. Do what they told you. You do what they told you. You. I'm changing the lyrics. Zach didn't get it right the first time.
Unknown
Right. This is how it should be done.
Brian Green
That's right. Brian got it. That's Bob in the background. I'm hammered.
Unknown
I'm not too, Seamus. Well, to be fair, noon drinking.
Brian Green
Yeah, Noon drinking. It'll get you.
Unknown
Day drinking will get you.
Brian Green
It'll get you. All right. One more here. One more. Embarrassment. This song is, for some unknown reason, is called Slide. Why don't you slide? I wish it was a cover tune of whatever that band is.
Unknown
Yeah.
Brian Green
What is that? Why don't you.
Unknown
I know.
Brian Green
Who are those guys? They had, like a thousand hits.
Unknown
The Goo Goo Dolls.
Brian Green
That's the Goo Goo Dolls. Yeah, the Goo Goo Dolls. Punk rock band in the 80s, big hair in the 90s. Yeah, they had a lot of hits.
Unknown
I think they did.
Brian Green
Oh, no, that's not the one I wanted to play. Hold on. This is called B I L T H. Why? I don't know.
Unknown
B I L T H. Yes.
Brian Green
Milf something Filth. Yes.
Unknown
Sounds like there's some people in the background. Yeah, he pulled them back in.
Brian Green
Yeah. I think you had to go through them.
Unknown
Get in here.
Brian Green
Get in here, you. I think you had to go through the family room to get to the refrigerant.
Unknown
I had to get to the kitchen.
Brian Green
Where the beer was. Yes. Yes. I'm not Kidding. You either.
Unknown
I think you did.
Brian Green
Oh yeah. It's all coming back to me now.
Unknown
I bet it is.
Brian Green
Three chords. Three chords. We know three chords. Here are those three chords. I love it. It's just. Hey. Oh, I'm sitting on my porch apparently. I think this is a love song.
Unknown
Yeah, she smiles at me oh yeah.
Brian Green
I know these three chords.
Unknown
I wish she knew my name yeah.
Brian Green
I wish you knew my name. It's a love song. Doesn't this sound like a love song?
Unknown
Yeah.
Brian Green
I think I'm singing but it's so incredibly loud. Smartly we turned the music up. We turned the guitars up so loud that you couldn't hear me sing. That was a smart decision on our part. See, we weren't all stupid. If you could go back to your childhood and record your most embarrassing moments, I would like to hear those too. Now listen, it's 2025. Everybody's most embarrassing moments gets their most. Yeah, that's like. That's my fear is that I crash out in public somewhere. You know, they call it a crash out. I crash out in public somewhere and it's all recorded and then the guy from the commercial break the show that no one knows but is going to know for all the wrong reasons had some terrible crash out. Seriously.
Unknown
Oh, I've got a PR agency. They'll fix it.
Brian Green
I'm not sure we do have a PR agency after today. After that I'm not sure we do have a PR agency. They have a reputation to uphold. We are their least this PR agency just to let you know. Covert Creative, one of the best in the business. They handle some of the biggest people in the world. They are having mercy sex with us by getting into a contract. This is a mercy fuck, ok? Let's just be honest about it. They have decided, well, this is like. Have you ever seen Trading Places where they say I bet we can get Eddie Murphy to be the guy to be the CEO of this company. Any schmuck off the street could do it and poor fucking Dan Aykroyd has sex with a hooker and loses his access to his butler and shit like that. I bet there's a deal going on at Covert and they say I bet you that we can take any schmuck and make him famous. We have to find the schmucketiest schmuck out there, Brian Green. There he is, that commercial break. That's it. If we can do it.
Unknown
Experiment.
Brian Green
It's an experiment. It's an experiment. Let's see. Smartless, the commercial break. Those are the Two that are on our roster. They won't put us on their website, but I love them nonetheless. They are great, actually. They are.
Unknown
They won't put us on their website.
Brian Green
That's not going on any materials anytime soon. Proudly, proudly, proudly representing the guy who murdered. Killing in the name of guy who wrote Sunny side Up. Congratulations. We've reached the zenith of pr. What did Brian do? What? No, no, no. We're not that kind of PR agency. We don't want to. Hey, listen, it's not that your payment bounced. It's that we sent it back. And I'm sorry, I looked everywhere in my email. I don't see that signed contract. Whoops. Block his email. Block his email. Our address. Sofi Stadium, Los Angeles, California. Send it there. I'll make sure we get it, sign it and send it back. Speaking of COVID Covert's been wonderful. Covert Creative, ctb. Bella, Antoine. I mean, really, Bella and Antoine and Joanna are great supporters of ours, too, but Bella is the person who books this show. All of the celebrities that you're hearing today were booked directly by Bella. In other words, she begged them.
Unknown
She spun us in a really favorable light.
Brian Green
They also won't put us on their website, but hey, no, actually, we are on their website, but she spun us in a really favorable way because that's what she does. She's so good at it. And thanks to all the guests who are showing up today. Who showed up already? Who showing up today? Reggie Tignataro, Tom Papa, Rachel Bloom, and Michael Ian Black. I love you guys. Thank you so much for agreeing to do this. You didn't have to. You probably won't ever again, but thank you so much. All right, so there you go. Chrissy. Oh, wait, that's not it. Oh, who is that?
Unknown
Well, listen, you're flustered after playing your music.
Brian Green
Yeah, it's gonna go out there. I'm gonna decide whether or not I want to edit it all. Edit all that out. This episode was five minutes long. You're killing in the name of. Get up, you bitches. Get up, you bitches. What am I thinking?
Unknown
I like your confidence. Yeah, fake it till you make it kind of thing.
Brian Green
That's all that Zima in there.
Unknown
Yeah, Day drinking.
Brian Green
I didn't even drink back. I'm sure that I was up till five in the morning the night before, high on something, but I didn't drink back then, so there you go. At least I wasn't drunk. All right, episode number three in the books, thank you very much. More coming at you, by my count. 30 more to go.
Unknown
Right.
Brian Green
We're almost, we're almost a quarter of a way through 212-433-TCB. 212-433-TCB. Between 3 and 5 Eastern Standard Time. If you want to call in, we'll leave the phone on the desk. Maybe we'll answer, maybe we won't. I think we are going to go live later on this afternoon. Make sure you're following us at the commercial break on Instagram. We'll give all of those details to you when the time comes. It's not. Just understand this is not live when you're not listening to us live. We're recording this an hour ahead of time so that we can edit it and get it out the door. The guest episodes, they were recorded live. So at the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast.com we're going to put together an Endless Day sticker. If we make it through the Endless Day, we'll put together an Endless Day sticker and you can get yours by going to the contact us button. Drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Make sure you mention the Endless Day sticker and Astrid will send it off in the next couple of weeks. That, thank you very much. Don't get froggy with Astrid. Please don't do that.
Unknown
Froggy.
Brian Green
Froggy. YouTube.com TheCommercialBreak all the guest episodes are out today. They will roll out as they roll out here and the other episodes will come over the week because we need time to edit those. That's not easy to do while we're at it. Thanks to our video production team at weplash. Weplash. We P L A S H We Flash. They're great. Kevin, Marco, Jihad, all the crew over there. I was just saying my thank yous and thank you to you for listening to 790,000 episodes of this. Thank you so much. And more to come at the top of the hour. Another episode, I think coming up next is Michael Ian Black. Listen to that episode. It's great. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do this hour.
Unknown
I think so.
Brian Green
But I will tell you that I love you.
Unknown
And I love you.
Brian Green
I'll say best to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until the top of the hour, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye. I gotta get some cocaine. That'll be great.
Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – "TCB's Endless Day #3"
Episode Title: TCB's Endless Day #3
Release Date: May 31, 2025
Hosts: Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley
Podcast Description: The Commercial Break is an improv-comedy, interview, and variety podcast hosted by longtime friends Bryan Green and Chrissy Hoadley. Known for their chaotic and unpolished charm, they delve into quirky friendships, pop culture, internet oddities, relationship drama, and dark comedy. The show features celebrity guests, games, and humorous interactions, creating a casual and irreverent escape for listeners.
The episode begins with Bryan Green humorously presenting the show, interjecting a playful advertisement for Five Hour Energy’s new flavor, Spicy Cinco de Mango. This sets the tone for the episode's blend of comedy and spontaneity.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [00:00]: "Spicy Cinco de Mango is sweet, it's spicy and a tad unhinged, just like us."
Chrissy Hoadley follows, joking about their lack of a backup plan and hoping for a meltdown to keep things interesting, before officially starting the episode.
Notable Quote:
Chrissy Hoadley [00:36]: "Let us pray for some kind of meltdown today so things will stay interesting."
Bryan shares an amusing and chaotic story about attending a Taylor Swift concert in Los Angeles. He describes navigating the venue, struggling with security to find the restroom, and unexpectedly encountering the band Haim backstage. His attempts to purchase merchandise and his interactions with concert staff add layers of humor and relatability.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [06:34]: "If we can do it."
He humorously recounts getting lost in the venue, dealing with expired credit cards, and his awkward encounter with Haim, showcasing his knack for storytelling and self-deprecation.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [10:03]: "Can a guy who had to go to pee, can he buy something? Yeah. No, he doesn't look threatening. His credit score is 500."
Bryan’s narrative highlights the absurdity of concert logistics and the unexpected moments that can arise during such events.
The conversation shifts to Bryan’s past as a member of a high school band named 33P (originally humorously referred to as "33 penis"). He delves into the formation of the band, their struggles with talent and practice, and the eventual disbanding due to lack of success.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [16:04]: "Even I revealed it to Chrissy. She had known me for almost 15 years at that point and had never known that I wasn't in one band. I was in two bands."
Bryan reminisces about their first gig at a house party, the anticipation versus the reality of a sparse audience, and his attempts to remaster old recordings, which only add to the comedic element.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [20:56]: "Could you play or could you play? I forgot how it goes because it was a friend of a friend."
This segment provides listeners with a humorous look into Bryan’s musical past and the trials of aspiring musicians.
Bryan decides to play recordings of 33P’s performances, showcasing their lack of musical prowess. He humorously critiques his own singing and the band's talent, emphasizing the comedic aspect of their early musical endeavors.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [30:00]: "Sunny side Up. Live from the Shady Oaks Retirement Center. Here we go."
Listening to these performances, the hosts and Bryan engage in light-hearted mockery of their former selves, enhancing the episode’s entertainment value.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [37:34]: "You were figuring things out."
These performances serve as nostalgic and humorous reflections on their journey, highlighting their growth and enduring friendship.
The hosts discuss their interactions with their PR agency, Covert Creative, and the challenges they face in promoting their podcast. They humorously portray themselves as underdogs struggling to gain recognition, despite having notable guests like Reggie Tignataro, Tom Papa, Rachel Bloom, and Michael Ian Black.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [46:37]: "It's an experiment. Let's see. Smartless, the commercial break."
Bryan amusingly critiques their own promotional efforts and the absurdity of their situation, all while expressing gratitude towards their guests.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [48:50]: "All right, so there you go. Chrissy."
This segment underscores the podcast’s theme of embracing chaos and imperfection, reinforcing the hosts' authentic and humorous rapport.
As the episode wraps up, Bryan and Chrissy reflect on the chaotic yet entertaining nature of "TCB's Endless Day." They tease future episodes, mention upcoming guest appearances, and continue their trademark blend of humor and candidness.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [49:20]: "I'll say best to you, best to you out there in the podcast universe."
Chrissy encourages listeners to engage with them on social media and participate in their interactive elements, maintaining the podcast’s community-driven spirit.
Notable Quote:
Chrissy Hoadley [25:24]: "Be sure to catch all these episodes a second time on video@YouTube.com thecommercial break and get your free exclusive Endless Day sticker by visiting tcbpodcast.com."
The episode concludes with playful banter and a final humorous remark about needing cocaine, leaving listeners amused and anticipating future episodes.
Notable Quote:
Bryan Green [51:31]: "I gotta get some cocaine. That'll be great."
Conclusion
"TCB's Endless Day #3" exemplifies The Commercial Break’s unique blend of improv-comedy and candid storytelling. Through Bryan and Chrissy's engaging banter, humorous anecdotes, and reflections on past experiences, the episode offers an entertaining escape filled with laughs and relatable moments. Whether recounting chaotic concerts or embarrassing band performances, the hosts maintain a lighthearted and authentic vibe that resonates with their audience.
For those who haven’t listened yet, this episode promises a delightful mix of humor, nostalgia, and the charming unpredictability that defines The Commercial Break. Stay tuned for more episodes as Bryan and Chrissy continue their endless day of entertaining conversations and unexpected adventures.