The Great Wolf Mayhem!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Commercial Break – Episode: The Great Wolf Mayhem!

Release Date: March 6, 2025

Hosts: Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley of Commercial Break LLC

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Introduction

In the episode titled "The Great Wolf Mayhem!", hosts Bryan Green and Krissy Hoadley delve deep into the chaotic yet humorous experiences of Great Wolf Lodge, a popular family resort. This episode features insights from Betty, a seasoned employee of Great Wolf Lodge, who shares a series of unforgettable stories that range from the gross to the downright outrageous, culminating in a heartwarming tale that highlights the human spirit amidst mayhem.

Listener Interaction: Betty’s Inside Scoop on Great Wolf Lodge

[27:56] Chris Joy Hoadley: "Betty was texting us because Betty was explaining that at one time she actually worked for Great Wolf Lodge."

Betty provides an insider's perspective on the inner workings of Great Wolf Lodge, exposing both the challenges and surprising moments that occur behind the scenes.

A. Gross Stories: Accidental Fecal Releases and Pool Hygiene

One of the most startling accounts Betty shares involves an Accidental Fecal Release (AFR) in one of the resort's pools.

[32:19] Chris Joy Hoadley: "I've been collecting them. So one of my co workers got a call on the radio that somebody had pooped behind the skeeball machine in the arcade."

At Great Wolf Lodge, when AFRs occur, a specific protocol is followed:

[39:40] Chris Joy Hoadley: "Have an accidental fecal release in one. So with the bare hands."

The protocol includes shutting down the affected pool, a thorough cleaning process using biohazard protocols, and ensuring that no patrons are exposed to contaminated water.

[39:40] Chad: "And nobody's gonna touch that. So with the bare hands."

Key Highlights:

• Accidental Fecal Release (AFR): Designated as AFR, any fecal accidents in the pool trigger immediate pool closure and a rigorous cleaning process.
• Cleaning Procedures: Includes a 30-minute chemical treatment, removal of biohazard materials, and multiple refills of carpet cleaners to restore cleanliness.
• Impact on Staff: Betty emphasizes the immense effort required by staff to maintain hygiene standards amidst such incidents.

[34:15] Chris Joy Hoadley: "Oh, that's the worst. You know, I don't like sometimes when you're on a road trip and you stop at the rest stop, you know... but what gets me every time I go to a truck stop or rest stop or whatever it is, what gets me is not that people shit, that it smells bad or whatever. That's everybody's shit stuff on the wall."

B. Karen Stories: Managing Difficult Customers and Group Behavior

Betty also recounts encounters with unruly groups, particularly emphasizing the influence of groupthink and peer pressure among young children.

[44:46] Chad: "They're ranging in that same 10 to 13 age. Okay. So apparently they were awarded this great wolf trip for something in their youth group."

[45:35] Chad: "Think, think. Cult."

Key Highlights:

• Group Behavior: Betty describes groups of children, often from church youth groups, behaving disruptively—throwing food, banging on doors, and causing general chaos.
• Staff Challenges: Managing these groups involves strict enforcement of rules, including the use of emergency stops and potential bans from the property.
• Parental Responsibility: Betty underscores the frustration with parents who are inattentive, leaving staff to handle the repercussions of their children's actions.

[50:19] Chad: "So he finally gets it to go again. They come out and they're looking like hang dogs. They're like, you know, oh, we screwed up."

[51:48] Chad: "They're running down the hallways. They're screaming. It sounds like somebody's being murdered in the building."

[53:07] Chris Joy Hoadley: "They're not told no. Do you get this? I can't..."

C. Wholesome Story: Acts of Kindness Amidst Chaos

Amidst the tales of mayhem, Betty shares a touching story that showcases the kindness and dedication of Great Wolf Lodge employees.

[58:45] Chad: "The dad was like, I was going to get her one, you know, like, he was going to go get her one. But I’m like, no, this makes me feel good, too."

[60:03] Chris Joy Hoadley: "It's what gives me the smallest things... Tank for cleaning... Stella's willing to take money out of her own pocket to make sure that a father and a daughter have an experience that's not dangerous and that can... like, the kid wants..."

Key Highlights:

• Saving a Baby’s Toy: Betty narrates how she provided a substitute toy to prevent a young child from damaging or losing it, ensuring the child's happiness and a stress-free experience for the parent.
• Positive Impact on Staff: Acts like these not only uplift the guests but also provide emotional rewards for the staff, reinforcing their commitment to exceptional service.

[62:05] Listener: "Oh, that's so sweet, Betty."

[63:40] Chad: "There is a small amount of hope, a small amount of hope for our world. And her name is Betty."

Audience Engagement and Host Banter

Throughout the episode, Bryan and Krissy engage in lively banter, interspersed with laughter and off-topic discussions. Their chemistry and ability to navigate between serious accounts and humorous interludes keep the conversation dynamic and entertaining.

Notable Quotes:

• [32:19] Chad: "And nobody's gonna touch that. So with the bare hands."
• [34:15] Chris Joy Hoadley: "Oh, that's the worst... How did you, how possibly could you have gotten it up there?"
• [44:33] Chad: "They're running down the hallways. They're screaming. It sounds like somebody's being murdered in the building."
• [54:02] Chad: "That's a change."

Concluding Thoughts

Bryan and Krissy wrap up the episode by reflecting on the duality of human nature—the capacity for both chaos and kindness. They commend Betty for her resilience and dedication, highlighting how individual actions can restore faith in humanity despite witnessing the worst behaviors from others.

[65:12] Chad: "Them we're not making much." [65:15] Chris Joy Hoadley: "But we do have to say there is faith in humanity because for every one of, for every shitty 10 to 13 year old boy that's out there making life miserable for people like Betty, there's a Betty to make life better for all of us."

Episode Highlights

• Gross Encounters: AFR incidents and the extensive cleaning protocols at Great Wolf Lodge.
• Difficult Customers: Managing disruptive groups and the role of staff in enforcing rules.
• Acts of Kindness: Betty's story of saving a child's toy illustrates the positive impact of dedicated employees.
• Host Dynamics: Engaging and humorous interactions between Bryan and Krissy maintain a lively atmosphere.
• Quotes with Timestamps: Notable moments captured throughout the episode enhance the storytelling.

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Final Note: "The Great Wolf Mayhem!" offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the challenges and unexpected joys of working at a bustling family resort. Through Betty's vivid storytelling and the hosts' relatable commentary, the episode balances humor with candid discussions on human behavior, making it a memorable installment of The Commercial Break podcast.

Transcript

[Brian Greene]

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[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Get us through the day.

[Brian Greene]

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[Nick]

Where'd you get those shoes?

[Chad]

Easy.

[Nick]

They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com.

[Betty]

Has this ever happened to you?

[Brian Greene]

Hey Nick.

[Betty]

Hey Chad.

[Astrid]

Are you going to Harmony's pool party this weekend? I heard it's going to be a straight rage.

[Brian Greene]

Yeah, I'd love to go, but the.

[Betty]

5G cell phone towers are frying the measles vaccine in my veins and giving me a limp noodle. Plus I can't afford that expensive beer made by global elites.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Bumm. Nick.

[Betty]

Yeah, total bummer, Chad. If you're sick of drinking fancy cocktails made by woke bartenders, you're ready to defend your body from microchip controlled 5G viruses. And you want something that tastes great and goes down smooth. Get ready for this summer's hottest new highly alcoholic beverage. TCB's colloidal collada coolers that's right. TCB's colloidal collata coolers are filled to the brim with non organic ingredients packed with ether alcohol and made with pure colloidal silver plus three powerful drops of Y Brian 3000. When you show up to the party with tcb's colloidal colada coolers, people will know you're serious about partying. Flat earth and one credit away from your GED. With every sip of TCB's Triple C, you'll be on your way to health, wealth and that hot wife you've been stalking on Instagram.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What's going on?

[Betty]

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[Astrid]

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[Betty]

TCB's colloidal colada coolers. Drink it all down and go to Pound Town on this episode of the Commercial Break.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

But now.

[Chad]

Exactly.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I'm trying not to pass this germaphobia onto my kids. But now when they take their shoes off in a hotel room, I'm kind of like, put your shoes back on. Put a socks on or something.

[Listener]

Put your socks.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Because I know socks. Socks. I know just like everybody, every other adult knows that that carpet, if that hotel is more than a year old, has seen all kinds of DNA on it. All kinds of DNA. And I don't want any.

[Chad]

It's a crime scene.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So. Did what? It's a crime scene.

[Listener]

I said.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I said.

[Betty]

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Greene. This is my dear friend and the co host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.

[Listener]

Best to you, Brian.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this, the Commercial Break. Hey, listen, I want to make today all about listeners. Listeners, listeners, listeners. You the listeners. I want to waste no time.

[Listener]

Listener Appreciation Day.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Listener Appreciation Day. That's right. We're going to be having a listener call in later. One of our first listeners that's ever called in. I know, I am excited, too. We've been texting, interacting for a while. I'm interested to find out how long she's been listening to the show. But she texted us for the first time after she heard my story about the Great Wolf Lodge because she is an employee or was employed by the Great Wolf Lodge. Not the same one that I went to, but there's a series of them throughout the country.

[Listener]

Yeah, it's a chain.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. And she was throwing a bunch of stories out there. And you know, between me, Astrid and Christina, who I think interacted with her once or twice, I think interacted with her once or twice, it kind of bubbled up to the top for me and I was like, oh, yeah, I would like to hear. I'd like to hear straight from the horse's ass, exactly the kind of shenanigans that are going on.

[Listener]

You know, she's got some good stories.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I know she does. So that later on in the show. But first, it's been a minute since we did an Ask tcb, so I thought now was a great time to do an Ask tcb. In the meantime, look at how Cute. My. One of my daughters is. Oh, mine. You don't get to see it, listener. Mine. That's mine. We're gonna keep my kids out of it for right now. Yeah, yeah, I think that's the best idea, actually.

[Listener]

Well, you tell enough stories about them, but.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I do. But I try to. I don't think I've. Maybe once or twice I've said a name. I don't give the ages. You don't even know how many children I really have.

[Listener]

No.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I'd prefer to stay that way, thank you very much.

[Listener]

I think I got a gaggle. I do say that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I do. I have a gaggle. Okay, so let's give some shout outs to some listeners. Let's answer their questions. What I have done is I have put together a series of questions that are specific to you and I like, about the minutiae of the show, about the actual commercial break. And I thought, oh, that's. That's a good one. So I put a couple of them together that have come over the years.

[Listener]

Yeah, after five years, we're catching on.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, after five years, we're finally catching on. First and foremost. It's kind of cold in here, so let me turn off the air conditioning.

[Listener]

Thank you. I was going to say, have you jacked up that air?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, now that I can feel it on my feet now. And that's always pretty annoying when my feet get cold, you know?

[Listener]

Well, no, here's a fun fact. If your feet are warm, it really does warm the rest of your body. Well, here's the same with being cold.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Do you know that my mom did this when we were a kid? And I have done this for friends, family, and my children. Now all of your blood moves through your body. I think it's in about, like. I think it's 36 seconds. So your blood goes from your heart and back to your heart in like 36 seconds, very fast. Right. That your blood flows through your body. I think that.

[Listener]

Yeah, check that fact.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, let me check that fact right now. This is when we need somebody. Okay. How long does it take for the blood to flow through your body? About a minute. Okay, About a minute. It moves at 3ft per second. Wow. Your blood's really going. Right? That heart's really going. Your body is a wonderland. Touch my hand. Kind of creepy John Mayer, but you play guitar really good. But then you dated some teenagers and that wasn't so hot. And then you were here in Atlantis singing songs with another guy and you forgot to give him credit on the album. Sorry about that, John Mayer, but now you're with the Grateful Dead, so I guess everything's okay. Your body is a wonderland Take my hand why, Georgia, why?

[Chad]

That's why.

[Listener]

He is from Georgia.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. It's unbelievable. So John, now, totally different tangent. Just real quick. John Mayer was a local singer songwriter here in Atlanta, and he had another writing, singing, songwriting, writing partner that he would go and do gigs with here in Atlanta. And the scuttlebutt was from people around that other guy, and that other guy was that John went and took some of the songs, some of the tunes that they had created together, and he made it into that very first, very famous, very popular album with Wonderland and Georgia. Why Georgia, why? That was unlike a lot of what John had done here in Atlanta, which was very bluesy, rocky kind of thing. Now he's come back to his roots. He is an excellent guitar player, by the way. Excellent guitar player. I really enjoyed the way he plays guitar. But the scuttlebutt was is that. Oops. Forgot to. Forgot to. Forgot to mention that guy. Yeah, forgot to mention that guy. But who knows if that's true or not true. And I would imagine that if it was true, they've settled that score long since. Like, there's been some lawsuit that got settled or something.

[Listener]

Definitely.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Or John just did the right thing because he does seem like a nice guy.

[Listener]

Yeah, no, he really does.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, he dated some young girls, but I don't know who hasn't. Apparently everybody on Love is Blind has. So there you go. And I'll follow up on that on the next episode. We'll talk about Love is Blind.

[Listener]

Yeah, you gotta get caught up.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I know. I was saying, you know, this other guy was so emotionally mature and such a good guy. And then I read some stuff online that maybe indicated he wasn't. So the blood in your body moves at one at all through your body in one minute. And your wrists have these major arteries that go through them. You know, we all know that. And so if you put a cool, damp cloth or coal or ice on your wrists when you're extremely hot, or warm water when you're extremely cold, in about a minute your body will be warmed up because the blood is moving through there. So it warms up your blood. So there you go. Little tip from Brian. Now, you know.

[Listener]

Also socks.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Now you. Yeah, also socks. And turn off the air conditioning, Brian. Okay. All right. So Dave from Chicago asked. Hey, Dave, thanks for listening. What is the wildest or most unexpected thing that has happened while recording an episode? Well, I know this. I think I know this.

[Listener]

I thought one right off the bat.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Which is what it was when we.

[Listener]

First started out and we were recording in the other room. And while we were recording, like, a part of the wall came down.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yes. Oh, that was pretty wild too. Yes. We had some soundproof panels on the wall taped on the wall, and a couple of them fell at one time. And it scared the holy shit out of both of us. And I think it's still in the episode. It might be like episode number six or seven. I mean, or maybe not six or seven, but 30 or something like that. I thought about the time. I gotta say this carefully because I wanna make sure I don't say too much. But I thought of the time when all of the sudden the microphone was smoking.

[Listener]

Oh, yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And we thought the studio was on fire and we were freaking out.

[Listener]

Smoke was just pouring out of the microphone.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I stood up and I was like, we gotta get out of here. We're gonna die. Like a White Snake concert. Great White. Sorry. Like a Great White concert. I think that would be it. I mean, you know, there's.

[Listener]

There's always the lawnmower outside or blue barking, your gaggle of kids running around, but those aren't too crazy.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A couple times when I've literally stopped recording because I'm supposed to. I was supposed to have been on a conference call or something like that. Yeah. Like, oh, hey, everybody, stop. I'll be back in an hour.

[Listener]

And then there's the times we've recorded without actually hitting the record button.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. I mean, there's. But besides that, there's been not, like, anything too, too, too crazy. Jennifer asks. No indication of where Jennifer is. If you had to describe the show to someone that has never heard it before using only a couple of words, what would they be? Tcb. It's about friendship.

[Listener]

I've been trying to figure that out for five years. Jennifer.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We don't know. We don't know.

[Listener]

It's two friends talking. Like, we're at a bar. We're telling stories. It's not for everyone.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's not for everyone. I think it's a good one.

[Listener]

Somehow we have a listener base.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. I think it's relatable, ridiculous, and at times redundant. I mean, I think those are the three words I would use. It's like, you know, you're a fly on the wall. And a friendship that's existed for a very long time. And we're always. It's like you and your friend getting together. It is a Nonlinear conversation that goes all over the place. Right.

[Listener]

One person says one thing, it takes you off in a whole different tangent. I. E. John Mayer.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

John Mayer putting ice on your wrist. And now listener questions that all happened in the first seven minutes of the show. Okay, hold on one second. Give me one second. I want to make sure I credit this one, but it's on a different app. Terry. Terry says, has there ever been a topic or a joke that was too outrageous to talk about or make in an episode? Would you be willing to share it here? Well, no, because it was too outrageous to say then. It's not gonna be okay to say it now. I think there have been times when we have not aired episodes or parts of episodes because upon further review, they felt insensitive. Or maybe it cut too close to the bone. Like we were talking about a topic that maybe we should have waited a little while to talk about it, I guess, would be the best way to put it.

[Listener]

I can remember that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Yeah. But, you know, I mean, it's so funny because I was talking to somebody about this, and they said, you know, is there anything that, like, it's too embarrassing or whatever you want to talk about? I was like, I used to feel that way, but not now. It's all out there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's all out there.

[Listener]

I'm numb to it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. So I don't think there's anything that we personally feel is off limits. I mean, obviously there are some things about our family members that we want to try and protect, the people who didn't volunteer to be on this stupid fucking show. But as far as our own personal inner workings or inner thoughts are concerned. Go back and listen to 700 episodes of the commercial break. There isn't too much in my life you haven't heard about. And there might be a few stories, but it's just for reasons to protect other people who were involved in them, who may not want those conversations I had. But there are topics that we have talked about where we felt afterward. I can. I'll think of one, and I'll just. I'll just share the topic, and then you'll know is that we. Frequently, especially in season two and three, we would do videos, a lot of videos. And one of our favorite kind of videos to do was My Strange Addiction or something along those lines, you know? And we found one about a guy who liked to be a baby, and he wanted to be a baby. And. But it was a sexual fetish, and we felt that was very uncomfortable. Yeah, it was very uncomfortable. We did the entire episode. And then we felt afterwards that fetishizing, you know, sexual behavior in this manner involving babies. Yeah, it didn't even if that's the guy, it didn't sit well with us. Yeah, it wasn't a very funny episode because Chrissy and I were kind of like, we thought it would be funny. Goo Goo Gaga. Pee pee, poo poo. But it didn't turn funny when he was like, hand job, hand job. You know what I'm saying? It was like, it got a little weird, suck on your tits, hand job kind of thing. I was like, I don't know. There's another one that we just recently did where Mirika, the world's most advanced robot.

[Listener]

Oh, right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Was on. And we may run part of this in the future. It wasn't that it was too outrageous. It was so depressing.

[Listener]

It was so depressing that it didn't.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

End up being a very funny episode. Chrissy and I were kind of like, oh, this.

[Listener]

It was a robot infused with AI and it was certain.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Dude.

[Listener]

Frightening. It was literally frightening. I mean, I was still thinking about it. I think it took me an hour to get home that day, and I was still thinking about it after I got home.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I was thinking about it for a week. I was. Yeah. Same guy asks, what's a moment from the podcast that made you laugh so hard you had to stop recording? We've never stopped recording because we're laughing too hard. That's also an ear. A trademark of the commercial break is that we laugh a lot on this show. I think Covid Christmas.

[Listener]

The COVID Christmas. Castle Waffle House. I think I peed a little bit.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Did you really?

[Listener]

Yeah. And then the Waffle House.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Waffle House was pretty funny.

[Listener]

Was really funny. And there's been some other. There's definitely. What was. God. Well, I think Carl.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, Carl was really funny.

[Listener]

Carl. When you first.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We first started talking about Carl and I was doing the Voice.

[Chad]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Hey, girl.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Hey, girl. Hey, girl. I can't go preaching on a full dick. That was pretty funny. Yeah. And there's even recently, there was one that I can't remember what we were laughing about. It happens all the time.

[Listener]

It does. We're always laughing hard or on or off the microphone.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's right. On or off the microphone. A lot of times we don't even catch the funniest stuff because we're just talking about it here in the studio. And Jane asks if you could bring any bizarre, obscure, or Internet personality on as a guest, who might it be? And why? Well, this. I find these all the time. I would love to bring a lot of these people on, but I think at the end of the day, Frankie B. Is like the gold ring of getting.

[Listener]

We've said we don't want to have him in here because it's like don't meet your heroes, right?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Don't be your heroes. I have asked a guy to come on who made the rounds over the summer. I think that, I think it's, it's. The popularity has faded because I don't see as many of his reels out there now. But he's a guy who makes music and he sings songs about his ex girlfriend, but he doesn't. But the lyric, his voice is not good, the music is not great, it's very non linear. But the problem is all of that stuff. I think you could auto tune your way into something. The lyrics that he writes are not really lyrics. They're like conversations that he's had with his ex girl. He'd be like, you know, I broke up with you or you broke up with me because you said we didn't do fun stuff. But that one night I was on the couch with you, we were watching Netflix and it was really great because Love is Blind is our favorite show. Not a bit of irony. The guy was not Joe. This wasn't a joke. This was like he was singing these songs but he was just talking. Like the lyrics were just him talking and everybody went crazy. I mean he had hundreds of thousands of views on these videos and these songs. And I tried desperately to get him on, but I think at the end of the day he probably listened to the show and was like, yeah, I'm not going on to be made fun of. That's not gonna happen. There's lots of Internet. I mean, I think Hakatuha girl would be someone that I would bring on the show though. She's not obscure, she's pretty popular, she's pretty famous, let's put it that way. But I would love to get in her head because hawk to a girl. Let's. Or who's the girl who does the. What's her name? The girl that does the crazy dancing and drinking that I. I don't know.

[Listener]

Anyway, you get it, there's plenty of them out there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. But there's one specifically we've been talking about a lot, but now I can't remember her name because we haven't talked about her in a while. We haven't talked about in a while. Talk to a girl. I think Would be an interesting Internet celebrity to.

[Listener]

I feel like I've seen so much about her though. I don't know what we else we could uncover, but.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, I just like to dig into not only what a shit show Hawk to a coin was and all the things that she is hawking as Hawk to a girl from, you know, Beats on a Beats website. Like, she literally has her own beats.

[Listener]

Oh, really?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She makes her own beats like drops to the altcoin to the meme coin to the T shirts.

[Listener]

She may not be legally able to talk about the coins.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, she has been talking about. She showed back up and she did a podcast, her own podcast where she brought on some people to grill her about this and she. There was no. Nothing else was answered. She didn't. She just kind of dodged all the questions. But even the people who were there, as you know, crypto experts, were like, dude, this was a total rug job. Like you, you really screwed a lot of people here. But I. What I think is more interesting, the angle that is more interesting is what it's like to get so famous so fast and how you handle that. She like got a Dutch agent at WME and then they sign her to a big podcast deal and this all happen basically overnight. She goes from complete obscurity to someone that everybody knows. And that's gotta be a hard thing to do. Okay, so that's all the listener questions about the commercial break. But now here, let me give you one that is a relationship question. This is Brad, I guess is his name. My girlfriend talks in her sleep and a couple of nights ago she had a full blown romantic conversation. Oh, no, his name isn't Brad. Excuse me? He doesn't give his name. She had a full blown romantic conversation with a guy named Brad. I don't know who Brad is. She swears she has no idea who he is. But now I am stuck wondering, do I confront her about the dream boyfriend or just accept that I am in a weird love triangle with her subconsciousness? That is. Is an interesting question.

[Listener]

It is. Because, I mean, you can't really be jealous because she's talking in her sleep. Brad could be somebody from a show she watched earlier.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, true. First of all, I'm going hunting on all her social media for Brad connections. Right? That is happening.

[Listener]

I mean, once is one thing too, but if it's like every night.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Every single night.

[Betty]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

If it's happening more than once, Brad's.

[Listener]

Making a repeat appearance.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, if there is a guy making a repeat appearance, then he definitely is in her Head. And for some reason. Yeah. You might want to dig in and listen. You can't control your subconsciousness. As much as I'd like to say that I have never dreamed about another woman since I met Astrid, that's not true. Right. Because. And I can't control it.

[Listener]

I had one last night about Jack White.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

About Jack White. Oh, was Jack White giving you the Slinky Seven?

[Listener]

Well, we weren't, like, you know, doing anything. Yeah. But I was, like, at a concert, and I was meeting him and talking to him. We were friends. He was, like, getting me backstage, and it was a whole thing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And then he was touching your boobs, I think.

[Listener]

Cause we were talking about the Rock and Roll hall of Fame.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Well, listen.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Stuff can slip into the subconscious.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. When I first met. When Astrid first came here to live with me, when we got married, I had a series of dreams over the course of a month about Lisa Kudrow from Friends. Oh, you did.

[Listener]

You told me about that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I was. I was so. It was as if Lisa Kudrow and I had actually had sex.

[Listener]

I remember you telling yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I was so weirded out. I could not get her out of my head ever. And I gotta be honest. I wasn't a huge Friends Watcher when it came out. I have not done the rewatch. I've probably seen a lot of episodes by default because it's been everywhere forever. But Lisa Kudrow is the last of the girls. Yeah. It was not the one. It was Jennifer Aniston every time. I mean. And I wasn't even all that attracted to Courtney Cox, but she might be the second. And it's not that Lisa wasn't attractive. Of course she was. But something in my brain turned Lisa Kudrow into the world's sexiest woman. But not Lisa Kudrow now. Or Lisa Kudrow the actress. The girl from Friends. Phoebe. Right. She was Phoebe. It was Phoebe and that smelly cat. And we were having sex, like, multiple times in my dreams. And it was really weird. And I could not get it out of my head. For a couple of weeks, this went on. So you can't control your subconscious? Obviously. I'm not sleeping with Lisa Kudrow. But, you know, or Phoebe. Either of them. I wish I could. I will tell you right now that I don't think you can control your subconscious. So if she's telling you that I don't know who Brad is, and I have no idea why I'm saying his name, I'd take that on face value and just, you know, run with that. Right.

[Listener]

Unless you go to an office Christmas party and you meet Brad, the boss.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that's right. Unless she brings home some of her co workers and Brad shows up at the front door. Hey, I'm Brad. I work next in the office next to your wife. Then you might have some problems. But okay. All right, listen, we gotta get Betty on the phone. Betty works for or worked for. We'll get some clarity on that for the Great Wolf Lodge. She's got a few stories to share with us. These may be cautionary tales. I'm telling you what I'm not trying, by the way, I'm not trying to poo poo on the Great Wolf Lodge. It's a great place to take the kids and kill a day or two or whatever it is. But we all know what goes on and. And let's not try and pretend Great Wolf Lodge is something that it's not. And I've told you about my story. I'd like to hear about other people's experiences and one of them.

[Listener]

Insider.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Insider. Someone that works there. So let's take a break and when we get back we'll talk more about it.

[Rachel]

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, text or call us 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website podcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Then watch all the [e-mail] thecommercial break and finally share the show. It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now was it? You're welcome.

[Listener]

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[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And taking a listener phone call now. Betty from the Midwest is here with us.

[Listener]

Hello, Betty.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Hi, Betty.

[Chad]

Hey, guys.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Hey. Well, thanks for calling in. We certainly do appreciate it. Betty was texting us because Betty was explaining that at one time she actually worked for Great Wolf Lodge.

[Listener]

Ooh.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Inside knowledge inside the Inside scoop.

[Listener]

I love it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The Great Wolf Lodge. And I said, you have to call in because I have to hear more about the inner workings of the Great Wolf Lodge. One of my least favorite vacations that I've ever taken. But it wasn't the worst vacation I've ever taken, that's for sure. But you got to understand as an adult with small children, and it was a little strange to see full grown adults sitting at the bar boozing themselves greatly to great effect, while everybody else ran around, you know, peeing in the pool. Peeing in the pool. So tell us, Betty, first of all, thanks for being a commercial break. Listen. One of the few commercial break listeners out there willing to say that they actually listened to the commercial break.

[Chad]

Hey, you know, I was.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Was.

[Chad]

I advertise your stickers on my water bottle.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Whoa.

[Listener]

So the 21.

[Chad]

Yeah, I gotta get. No, I. I actually. You know, I don't. I don't actually have the stickers.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, you don't?

[Chad]

I don't. I don't. I don't know what happened to them.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We'll send you some more.

[Chad]

Please do. Please do. Because I'll.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I'll.

[Chad]

I'll text you my address.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay, Text us your address. And then Astrid will be happy to send you some pictures. I mean, some stickers, so. And pictures. Astrid likes to send listeners pictures, but maybe you're not her flavor. I don't know. How long have you been listening to the show?

[Chad]

Since the great pandemic. Very long time. I think I started when you guys were maybe 15 episodes in.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, when we were 15 episodes in. You're kidding me.

[Listener]

Thank you for sticking with Betty.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I had no idea that you were. That you were listening for that. I had no idea anybody was listening for that.

[Listener]

I thought those people had all gone.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, we figured people had turned over many times. Wow.

[Chad]

No, I. I stuck around.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay. So how long did you work with the Great Wolf Lodge? I mean, how long have you been associated with the Great Wolf Lodge.

[Chad]

I am on my sixth year.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You're on your sixth year. And let's start with this question. Do you think people are absolutely the worst after working for the Great Wealth Lodge for six years?

[Chad]

Let me just say people will. People. Yeah, a person. A person is good. People are bad.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's a good way of putting it.

[Listener]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So in other words, when you're interacting with just one person, it. They, they tend to be nice and. But when a group of people is together, they're dismissive and like the group think mentality takes over and people start becoming real shitheads. Is what I experienced at the Great Wolf Lodge also. Yeah. Is that everything just kind of went wild. Like they went wild when they couldn't get their pizza in five minutes. But it was everybody working everybody else up is really what was going on. What is. So.

[Chad]

Yes, it's a peer pressure type.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I think it's, you know, I think it's well documented. Groupthink mentality takes over and people, you know, one person gets irritated. That energy can literally pass on to the next person. Yeah, it does. So tell me, give me like a little slice of some of the experiences that you've seen from the Great Wolf Lodge. That would make us all turn our stomachs.

[Chad]

Well, I've got got three categories for you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

Okay. It's gonna be like Jeopardy. You can do Karen stories.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

We can do really, really gross stories.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I like those too.

[Chad]

Or a really wholesome story.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay. Why don't you do this? This. Why don't you give us one? What? Let's start in the. Let's do it in this order and we'll see if we have enough time to get through three. Why don't you go gross. Karen will end it on a high note with wholesome.

[Chad]

Okay. All right. So I have permission from my co workers to tell you their stories too.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay. Gross.

[Listener]

Oh, we've got a juicy.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

This goes deep. It's a conspiracy.

[Chad]

I've been collecting them.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh my God, I love this.

[Chad]

So one of my co workers got a call on the radio that somebody had pooped behind the skeeball machine in the arcade.

[Listener]

Oh, no.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. How do you get behind a skeeball machine?

[Chad]

So this is the thing. So it. You're gonna imagine that it's downpour rate.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Chad]

We've got, we've got water coming in underneath the doors. So they had moved one of the little blockades, the, the screens that block the view of the mate of one of the emergency exits.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

So there's like a little passageway behind skeeball machines for maintenance, for emergency exits.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

So there's a group. There's a group of about four boys, and they have this on. On camera. There's a group and they're playing skeeball and they're doing the basketball thing in the arcade and suddenly they disappear from the screen. They found a way to get behind the skeeball machine. Okay. And it's dark back there and dusty and whatever else. And you have no. Yeah, it's probably full of trash. So you just apparently just pulls his pants down and just poops.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Just shits right there. Oh, yeah. How old is this kid? Are these like 10 year olds?

[Chad]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Give or take.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. That's the worst. I was.

[Brian Greene]

I was.

[Chad]

Yeah, they're not little. They're just too involved and they can't go across the. The.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

The hallway to poop to get.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God. Okay, so worse.

[Chad]

Worse on worse. Okay.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

The four of them back there are apparently all together. They're all involved in this.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They're all encouraging this kid to shit on the floor, essentially. Yes.

[Chad]

Yes, exactly. And you know, it's loud in there. You can't hear a damn thing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Lights, noises. Bells whistling, loud music, you know, splashing. Yeah, it's very loud in that place.

[Chad]

It is. So one of the kids apparently throws up during the pooping.

[Listener]

Oh, God.

[Chad]

So now you've got water coming in from the. From the emergency exit. You've got kids in there playing in the. In the park, you know, in the arcade. And then suddenly it's poop and puke.

[Listener]

Oh, God.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

This sounds like, you know, Venice after flooding. This is like really fucking gross. So, Betty, you thought the pool was bad?

[Chad]

Oh, the carpets are terrible.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, no, the carpets. I said this the second that I walked into that place. It had carpeting, which in general, in hotel rooms I have learned. You know, it used to be that when I was a kid and we got to a hotel room, it was the best thing in the world. The smell of chlorine and bleach and the pool. Like something about a hotel just got all of us broken. Brother. So excited. We love to stay at a hotel. We take our shoes off and run around the hotel room like every kid would, but now.

[Chad]

Exactly.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And I'm trying not to pass this germaphobia onto my kids, but now when they take their shoes off in a hotel room, I'm kind of like, put your shoes back on. Put a socks on or something. Because I know socks. Socks. I know just like everybody, every other adult knows that that carpet, if that hotel is more than a year old, has seen all kinds of DNA on it. All kinds of DNA. And I don't want anything to do with that.

[Chad]

It's a crime scene.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So did. Was. It's a crime scene. I bet, I bet. So did. Was management alerted quickly? Was this situation taken care of quickly? Or did it take some time to figure out what had happened or was the like security keeping an eye on these boys?

[Chad]

She told me it took her three hours to get it cleaned up completely to standard.

[Listener]

Oh my God, your poor co worker.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Your poor co worker. These are the people.

[Chad]

So we, we do have like a little hand held carpet cleaner.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

Kind of like, like your little bissell, your spot type of thing. It's loud. Okay. Because it has to, it has to be.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chad]

But she, she said she had to refill it like six times.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh my God. I just can't even think of the minutia. Those little shitheads, those little fucking.

[Chad]

And. And she said she had to wipe it off the walls.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, oh, that's the worst. You know, I don't like sometimes when you're on a road trip and you stop at the rest stop, you know, generally if most, if the rest stops are maintained, generally there's like a 24 hour maintenance person that's there, that's cleaning. God bless those human beings who are doing that because that is the worst of the worst. But what gets me every time I go to a truck stop or rest stop or whatever it is, what gets me is not that people shit, that it smells bad or whatever. That's everybody's shit stuff on the wall. It's the shit on the walls. And I'm like, how did you, how possibly could you have gotten it up there? How did that happen? You have to purposefully be aiming in that direction or something. I don't know. Because I have never been one ever thought about shooting shit on a wall. It's fucking disgusting. That is crazy.

[Chad]

Little monkeys.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, they are little monkeys. 10 year old.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So did those kids get kicked out of the Great Wolf Lodge? Did someone. Did. Was there any conversation with the boy? Because I mean I imagine if security has it on camera then you can. You have an idea of who did it, right? You see their picture?

[Chad]

That depends because you're all on wristbands, so identifying somebody. If they don't give a proper name, we can't know what room they're in. Unless. Got you, you have wristbands and plus.

[Listener]

I wonder how long it was until it was discovered. I'm sure they didn't come out.

[Chad]

It was not. And they're not gonna tell anybody.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, that. But this is the best story they've ever told as a 10 year old. They're all running around school telling the story about the time Little Timmy, I'm sure. On the wall of the skee ball machine in Great Wolf Lodge. Can I ask you a question while we're on Pee pee poo poo. Yes. How clean are those pools? Is it like the people who work there, do they have a general understanding that. I mean, I understand there's a ton of chlorine in those pools. Like a ton. You can smell it burns your nose. Right. And I'm sure they keep those chlorine levels at such high levels that no bacteria could survive more than a couple seconds. Seconds. But is it just how many times a day do little kids shit in the pool?

[Chad]

We actually have a code for it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, of course you do. What's the code?

[Chad]

So we have an afr which is accidental fecal release.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I love it.

[Chad]

And they'll. They'll do it all call on the radio. And so whoever here has the radio will hear. Pool is this certain pool is closed for an afr.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh my gosh.

[Chad]

We will be. We will radio you when we're back open.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

So they'll take. They'll do that. They'll do like a full half an hour treatment. Oh, everybody's out of the pool. Everybody gets out of the pool. There's nobody allowed. They have to do the chemicals. They have to get the nets. They have to get. Get the biohazard bags. And they have a specific place for all that.

[Listener]

Wow. Yeah. I was gonna say because you can't really drain the. Get it out of there and then cycle it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. To put chemicals in it.

[Chad]

And nobody's. Nobody's gonna touch that. So with the bare hands.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No, of course not. This isn't caddy Sha. When you have an afr. An accidental fecal release. If Tina's laughing so hard. When you have an accidental. It's making me laugh. When you have an accidental fecal release in one. So the Great Wolf Lodge that I came to here or I went to here in Georgia. There is the wave pool, there is the kid pool, There is the, you know, water slides. I'm sure they're all very similar in that sense. When you have a AFR in one pool. Does. Does everybody have to get out the entire great Wolf Lodge water park. Does everybody just have to leave or just that pool? It's just that pool.

[Chad]

Just that pool.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay. And they all have their separate filtration systems, so. Okay. Okay, good. Okay, that's. All right. All right. Somebody's working on it. Listen, you know, it wasn't the most like. I, and I think I mentioned this on the show where I talked about my experience with Great Wolf Lodge. It wasn't the messy place. It was well kept. It was just not seeing some of the people that were running around in there. One 10 year old boy running around literally with his ass hanging out in the water. I was like, I'm in ass water right now. That's what I'm in. I'm in ass water. I'm in somebody else's asshole water right now. And that kind of skeeved me out a little bit. Has Great Wolf Lodge ever considered putting that chemical in the pool that turns pee a different color like that?

[Chad]

I don't know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That would be a good idea.

[Chad]

I don't know.

[Listener]

Is that real or is that a myth?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's real. You can get that. You can get it at the pool store. Like it doesn't work in all circumstances and it has to be at high levels of concentration. You can put it in the pool and it'll stay. It'll stay there for like 30 minutes. But if it. And then it eventually gets filled, the chlorine overtakes it and whatever. I don't know. There's some technical shit. Okay. That is a pretty disgusting story. I'm thoroughly grossed out. I hate peepee poo poo and I definitely dislike puke. And God bless the people who have.

[Listener]

To clean that up.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Do you hear me, listener? The. I don't. I don't imagine anybody at TCB who's listening to tcb. I like to think of our listeners as a very pragmatic, common sense kind people who don't. Who aren't adding to the drama of the universe. But if there's one of you out there or you have little shitheads that are. You have little yous that are running out there acting like you. Can you please put a cap on the bullshit? Because somebody out there in the universe has to clean up after your little chitlins. And no one wants to clean peepee poo poo off of the skeeball machine. No one. But that's somebody's job. That is somebody's job.

[Chad]

Them we're not making much.

[Listener]

Right? I was gonna say. God, if there's those situations you almost need, like, an instant bonus.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, I would think so. It always gets me that, like, the people who do the most amount of work for us in the service industry are the people who are likely to get paid the least. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not complaining because I was a bartender, but bartenders can bring home 100, 200, $300, maybe more in a night, depending on what restaurant you own. And we're just talking to hot chicks and making cocktails all night long. Right, but the guy who's cleaning the. The busboy who's cleaning up all the tables and the bathrooms and all that other stuff is making, like, 10% of our tips. Right? It. It always seemed a little bit. I guess that's just the way of the world. Okay, so tell us. I don't want to go on a tangent. Not while you're here, Betty. I'm trying to. I'm trying to be nice while you're here. Okay, so now that's a.

[Chad]

That's a change.

[Listener]

That's right. There she goes. She's got it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I get no respect on my own. Show no respect. But I guess I have no one to blame but myself.

[Chad]

No, you're good.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay, so now tell us a Karen story, because, God, do I love Karen's stories.

[Chad]

Okay, so I texted you these two, and I'm gonna have you choose, because we'll do a part two if you want.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

You can. I can do the birthday cake. Karen.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

Or the Christian boys.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, God, I want to do both of them. Okay. Do the Christian boys first. Let's do Christian boys first.

[Chad]

Okay, so you're talking a group of at least 10 boys.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

They're ranging in that same 10 to 13 age. Okay. So apparently they were awarded this great wolf trip for something in their youth group. They're all wearing matching shirts. They've. They're just, you know.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Chad]

You know. You know where they're. Where they're from.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. So little Hitler youth. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. Yes, yes.

[Chad]

Think, think. Cult.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Chad]

Right. So they are a menace to society. They're running around screaming. Okay. They're throwing an actual football in the building across the golf course.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God. I'd be. I'd be mad. I'd be so mad.

[Chad]

Yeah. Because, like, if it hits you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Or. Or a child or whatever. It's just. It's just rude.

[Chad]

Or it could break something.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Of course. Yeah.

[Chad]

So there's. There. This is also videoed evidence. So they get their food. Okay.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

And proceed to have a food fight.

[Listener]

Oh.

[Chad]

Little my. We had to go up there and clean those table areas.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

And it took hours because there's just pizza ground into the floor. There's salad, there's ranch dressing, there's soda. It looked like somebody had just literally flipped the table. There's chairs knocked down. There is only one chaperone visible. And he's on his phone.

[Listener]

Oh, God. Of course.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I bet this happens every day at Grave Wolf Lodge. That there is a group something of shitty children. And the parents are just as shitty. Yeah, they're just as shitty. They're just not. And they're not paying attention. If my son is throwing food in a public area, if one of my kids is doing that, I'm going to yank a knot. I'm going to jerk that knot right out of their tail. And they're going to be up in the room for the rest of the vacation.

[Chad]

We only wish that had happened.

[Listener]

Exactly. I'm sure they continued to terrorize the place. Place.

[Chad]

They're running down the hallways. They're screaming. It sounds like somebody's being murdered in the building.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, my God.

[Chad]

So we have that long hallway we call main Street.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

Where you have your build a bear, your Dunkin donuts, stuff like that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yep.

[Chad]

They're. They're running down there. We're thinking they're gonna slip, they're gonna fall. We're gonna have a big, you know, incident. Code 3.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Code 3 is a medical emergency.

[Chad]

Yes. Of like serious nature where you have to call an ambulance.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. There'd be a cool fist up one of these kids asses. Yeah.

[Chad]

Busted nose, you know, bro. You know, broken bones, blood everywhere. That's what we're thinking. Right. So they head into the lobby and we've got that revolving door. Right?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

And this is also middle of winter. So the door is not revolving very fast. Fast. It's pretty slow. And people will complain because that's what people do. But these, These. These boys are in there, maybe four of them on each side, you know, of. Of the. Of the doors. And they're pushing it. They're pushing the doors. Now our revolving door, when you touch it, it will automatically stop.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Fair enough. Safety. Safety feet feature.

[Chad]

Yeah. So. So you got people pushing on it, trying to put, you know, get it to open. Like it's not going to do that if it can't see you. The motion detector, if it can't see you, it's. It doesn't care if you're in there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

You know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

You have to stay in view of that motion sensor, in order for the doors to not stop. Wow. Simple common sense.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So now they have four of them on. In each one of the. Like, you know, there's 10 or 12 kids. Yeah. And four kids in each section.

[Chad]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

So I can only imagine the doors are just stuck because these shitheads keep. You know, there's four of them in there and they can't not.

[Chad]

They're. They're. They're trying to push it. They're stopping it on purpose and then letting it go and then, you know, pushing on the door to make it go faster. So they're like, you know, just screaming in there. They're pounding on the. On the glass, like, we're gonna. They're gonna break something. So the manager of the day, or manager on duty, the mod, he's done. He's finished. These kids are.

[Listener]

I swear, they've gone too far.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They've gone too far. It's enough. Yes. Where are the parents? Where are the parents?

[Chad]

There are no parents.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Exactly. Where's the chaperone? And now they're causing drama and inconveniencing and making other people upset because no one is there to tell them how to act like fucking human beings.

[Listener]

And here. They're from a church group.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, they're from a church group.

[Chad]

Yeah, exactly. So the mod goes over and does the perfect thing. So he waits until the doors are in that exact spot where you can't get out, can't get in. And he hits the emergency.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Sweet.

[Chad]

Now, the thing is about. This is the emergency stops. There's one on the inside and one on the outside.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

So you've got the two side doors that you can use to get access the outside.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yep.

[Chad]

If the emergency. If the. If the revolving doors are not working. So he gives them about five minutes and they're just kind of like. They're like. You can see them start to panic a little bit, you know, they're like, why isn't.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What. What's going on?

[Chad]

What's going on? And then you got security. You've got security there, you've got mod. And they just got their arms crossed and they're looking like freaking the Rock, you know, wow. They got their eyebrow up. They're just looking mean. So he gives them a few minutes and he has security go out and push the emergency stop on the outside so they can release the kid.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

And he's like, wait till they get out there. He pulls one their button and then it's breached. The security comes back in until he Pulls the inside button. So he's giving him a little, you know, like a little few minutes of, like, pure fear.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Listener]

You know, I love it.

[Chad]

So he finally gets it to go again. They come out and they're looking like hang dogs. They're like, you know, oh, we screwed up.

[Betty]

Sorry.

[Chad]

Yeah, yeah, we know you don't mean it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, of course.

[Chad]

But he, manager of the day has the power to ban people from the property.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban, ban.

[Chad]

He's like. He's like, it's 10 o'clock at night. You know, we're getting ready to pack up and go home. They want to go home. They're like, you guys, I don't care what you do. I don't care who you are. Go to your rooms and stay there.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Chad]

I'm gonna get your. I'm gonna get whoever is in charge of you, and you guys are gonna go, scram, get out of here.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Right. Thing to do.

[Chad]

The thing is, security says they were down there at 3 o'clock in the morning.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

No way.

[Listener]

Of course.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Of course they were, because they have no rules. They are lawless little children. It's. I. I don't know how you feel about this, Betty, but I think that when kids get sheltered in one way, they have to act out. And they don't know how to behave. They don't have the place, the time, the appropriate venue to get that kind of energy out. So they don't know how to act when they get out in public because they're so sheltered in other parts of their life. I can only imagine. Right.

[Chad]

Or they're indulged, they're encouraged.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, yeah, that, that too. Yeah. You have the right.

[Listener]

They're not told no.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

They're not told no. Do you get this? I can't. First of all, you're an angel. You're an angel. I mean, I know you're doing this for money and you're doing this to feed your family or feed yourself or whatever, but at the end of the day, I can't even imagine what it's like to work at one of those places in a time when there's such entitlement and there's so little pushback on some types of behavior. As a matter of fact, fact, people at the highest levels of our society are acting like these children are acting. No rules, no guardrails, no law, nothing. And so everybody. When you can't even point to anybody in our society and say, behave like that, then where are the examples? It's Certainly not here on the commercial break, that's for sure.

[Listener]

I would think you have to have a sense of humor.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

You do have to.

[Chad]

Absolutely.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

A sense of humor. That's for sure. Sure.

[Chad]

I mean, that's what you guys are in my Bluetooth, in my ears, and you're disassociating me from everything else going on.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, good.

[Chad]

Good.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay, hold on, Betty. We're gonna take a short break, and then when we come back, then we will. I want to hear the wholesome story. We're gonna pull this on.

[Listener]

And now we got the other Karen story.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, we got the other Karen story and we got a wholesome story. I don't know if we'll have time for both, but give us one second. We're gonna take a break.

[Chad]

Okay.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And then sure thing. Back.

[Rachel]

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on tcb. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue. Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears. And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page. You can also find the entire entire commercial break library audio and video, just in case you want to look at [e-mail] Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-4333, TCB. That's 212-433-3322. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us. That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shouting shy, that's okay. Just send a text. We'll respond. Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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[Listener]

What is Dax, are you tracking all.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Our cars on Carvana Value Tracker on all our devices? Yes, Kristen, yes, I am. Well, I've been looking for my phone for. In Dax's domain, we see all. So we always know what our Carvana are worth. All of them? All of them. Value surge trucks up 3.9%. That's a great offer. I know.

[Listener]

Sell, sell.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today. Okay. Okay. So. So, Betty, so what I want you to do is. I don't know if we have time for both stories. We may have to. We may have to follow up with Betty because. Because you know what? I'm sure that everybody.

[Listener]

Betty might be able to be a regular.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Let's update the great Wolf Lodge situation. Let's see how shitty humans have gotten since the last time we talked to Betty. Because you only really will understand just how the depravity of some people that are walking amongst us if you talk to the people whose responsibility is to go around cleaning up their fucking shit. That's it. Literally, they're right. Yeah. And that. And that's it. Or work amongst that, you know, people at their worst, so to speak. And my opinion is, and I've said this many times on the show before, restaurants and people who work in the service industry see people at their worst for a number of reasons. At a hotel, in a resort like Betty works at Pete, you see people 24 hours a day and a whole cycle, right? Most of the time you see people, you're interact with them for two or three minutes so they're on their best behavior. But when you see somebody at over the course of a day, then. And on vacation, then you catch them at their worst or when they're eating because you have to do it three times a day. Everybody is picky about what they eat. Everybody has to guzzle down food. And so when you work in a restaurant or cleaning up after people who are in a restaurant, then you see the worst of people because people, for some reason, when it comes to food, they just. We're animals. We're absolute. And so God bless you. First of all, Betty. Second of all, let's end this on a high note and tell us a wholesome story.

[Chad]

Okay, so I've got two, and they're quick, so.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Sure, go ahead.

[Chad]

So there's. This one is personal to me, and this one was a young father with a little baby. And. And the baby is trying and playing in the mining area where the water's coming down. And you see the kids, they're digging for rods.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay, so hold on one second. So let me explain to those who are listening, because my kids did this also in the middle of what she's calling mean street, where all the retail and restaurant and adventure park. Yeah. And the adventure park is they have a place where you can pan for gems. They give you a bag. It's full of rocks, mud, and sand, and then you put it in a pan, and you sift it like you were sifting for gold, so to speak. But it's just like a little. It's a couple of wood canals that are made coming from a water fountain down into a pool. Right. Okay, so go ahead.

[Chad]

So you've got little baby playing in the water thinking, like, you know, splash park, Right?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

You know what we did in the pool?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Like, my kid.

[Chad]

Yes. And she's got her sister. There's magic wand from magiquest.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay.

[Chad]

So if you. If you saw the magic quest, it's like a scavenger hunt.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes, I did see.

[Chad]

With, like, magical items and the dragon and stuff like that.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

That's how they get an extra $100 on you. Yes, I saw. Yes. I told my kids. No. I'm like, no, you're not. I'm not doing that.

[Chad]

Wait. Wait till they're older.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chad]

So you know that they're battery operated and you don't want to get them wet.

[Listener]

Right.

[Chad]

So baby's trying to put the magic wand in the water, see if it's gonna float. You know, it's a toy. It's a toy. Put things in water, how things work.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

It's what kids do.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Chad]

So I'm seeing this, and I'm like, oh, that's gonna. It's gonna ruin it, you know? And then there goes, like, the 20 bucks. Their game. Everything's gonna get lost. And I. I walk over there, and I'm like, I'm sorry, sir. I really. I, you know, want to make sure that everything's okay with the baby. That's not a good idea. You know, he's like, I know. She wants to play with it. She sees her sister playing with it. She wants to do the same thing. I'm like, I know. I'm thinking in my brain, what can I do to make this better? So I know, because this is what I do. There is a build a bear shop shop, and they have little stuffed magic wands for the build a bear.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Okay?

[Chad]

So I go over there and I'm like, look, can I buy one of those stuffed wands? Oh, it's not for me. It's for. It's for a guest. And they're like, take it.

[Listener]

Oh, that was great.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Take it.

[Listener]

Good.

[Chad]

They. They cost what, 30 cents, right? They're not that expensive. You can have one. I take it over to the dad, to the little baby, and I'm like, this is for the baby. This is for the baby. She can play with this. She can get it wet, she can chew on it, whatever she wants to do. And it's got a little wrist strap, right?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Chad]

So I put it around her wrist and her face, and this is what makes it all worthwhile was just the smile on her face.

[Listener]

Oh, that's so sweet, Betty.

[Chad]

The dad was like, I was going to get her one, you know, like, he was going to go get her one. But I'm like, no, this makes me feel good, too.

[Listener]

Absolutely. It's those little moments that keeps you at least coming, getting up and going back to work.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

This is what gives me the smallest things. Like this. Give me the smallest amount of faith in some of humanity. Because, Betty, who. Whose responsibility it is is to literally clean up after you like you're your mother. Like, she's your mother, right? And she cares so much about the people who are coming in and out of the place where she works that they have a good time, that they don't hurt themselves, that it puts a smile on their face. So she's willing to take money out of her own pocket to make sure that a father and a daughter have an experience that's not dangerous and that can. Like, the kid wants. I know this because I have the kids that are this age. Like, they want to do this, and if they can't do it, then to them, the world is ending. Right? So giving. Lending to that experience, allowing it to happen, is the best thing in the world to the kid. And then to the father, it's like, oh, I don't have to deal with a total meltdown because you can't put batteries in the water. The fountain at Great Wolf Lodge. And then.

[Chad]

And then imagine the little girl who's like, Got, you know, high score or whatever of the day on that wand and then suddenly losing everything.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes.

[Listener]

Aw, you saved the day, Betty.

[Chad]

Superhero.

[Listener]

That's right.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Our listeners are much better humans than we are. Chrissy. I just have to say that right now. For sure. All right, Betty, I want to end this on a high note. We don't have a ton of time, but I will tell you you this, we will be calling you back. Save the second wholesome story. Save the second Karen story. Maybe we check in with you in a month, continue to collect stories. Would you like, I would love to, to have you back. You're really our first listener caller. Except for Will the. Will the champ who called in very early on and I, I can say I think this one was a winner.

[Chad]

I've got to tell you one thing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Before I. Yeah, please.

[Chad]

I will never ever look at the wolf again without calling him the Swim wolf.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Swim swim.

[Chad]

Rah rah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Swim wolf.

[Chad]

They, they all have names, they all have a personality, but he is now Wolf.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I love it. Betty. Well, Betty, longtime listener calling in to give us the skinny on just how terrible all of you are out there. There. And.

[Chad]

But we do better people.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, do better people. But we do have to say there is faith in humanity because for every one of, for every shitty 10 to 13 year old boy that's out there making life miserable for people like Betty, there's a Betty to make life better for all of us. So Betty, thank you very much. Best to you, Betty. Best to you.

[Chad]

Best to you guys.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We will text you and we will check in shortly.

[Chad]

Absolutely.

[Listener]

Thanks again.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, I have to say I think having a listener, you know, I've always been very fearful of having listeners on and here's the reason why. Even though I encourage people to call and leave a voicemail, there's a reason why I encourage them to call me a voicemail is because then, you know, we can edit it, we don't have to play it if it's not, if it's not particularly interesting or good or whatever. I always get a little fearful that we're gonna get dragged into a conversation that maybe, I don't know, you know, you never know. It's like a wild card that you have no idea about. But I have to say, say I had a pleasant experience with Betty and.

[Listener]

Betty gets a gold star, 100 a plus.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

She brought the drama, she brought the stories that were good. I cannot, I'm still trying to get over how 4, 10 year olds I, I couldn't imagine. Listen, I did a Lot of shitty stuff. As a 10 year old, I put pixies and I'm one of these kids. I am one of these kids. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna pretend like I wasn't. I put pixie.

[Listener]

One of these kids.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Straw pixie. What do they call them?

[Listener]

Pixie straw.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Pixie straws. Yeah. Pixie dust. I put that like 30 of those in an air conditioner in a hotel room on a field trip. And then I turned the air conditioner on along with a number four, three other ten year old boys. We did that kind of stuff.

[Listener]

You're like wolves.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

We were wolves. And one of the kids threw a pizza up on the wall. Like we had a leftover pizza. You know, they ordered a bunch of pizzas and we had an extra one. It was like, you know, the vegetable pizza or whatever. And he took it and he threw it up onto the ceiling. It like stuck on that ceiling. But I will tell you what, the adult we, first of all, we realized the error of our ways in the morning and tried to clean up it. Tried to clean up it. We tried to clean up it. Clean up it. I will clean up it.

[Chad]

You will?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yes. Peach or throw on what he did. But I will tell you what, the adults that were around us were going to be God damned if they were going to allow us to leave that hotel without every inch of it being cleaned up. The entire class had to wait for 90 minutes while the maid came up or the person who was cleaning. The cleaning lady came up, brought her little cart and we had to take the cleaning solutions, the vacuums and everything and do it it ourselves.

[Listener]

That's the way to do it.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

And. And it was clean. It was as if no one had ever even stepped foot in that room when it was done because the adults that were with us made sure of it. And had they been or understood, been there or understood what we were doing at that moment, we would have been. We would have been. We were. As it is. I got grounded, we got demerits, we got all kind of. We had to write a letter to the owner of the hotel. It was a whole thing. I was a. At 10 years, I can say that, but never once did I ever think about defecating anywhere except a toilet. That's just like a step beyond why you can't walk across the way and go to the bathroom. Unbelievable.

[Listener]

Well, the crazy thing is, is that adults do it too. So my dad for years was, you.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Know, like a facilities manager.

[Listener]

Yeah, he was like head of the. You Know, and part of what he did was he was head of the maintenance department.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah.

[Listener]

And I mean, the things that he used to come home and say that were done in the bathrooms. Yeah. It was bad.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

What are we doing out there?

[Listener]

I remember hearing. I was like, what?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. I don't mean to fuss at you, listener. I don't mean to fuss at you, but like I said, 99.99999999% of the commercial break listeners, I think, are like minded. I don't think you would listen to the show if you weren't like minded. I think it would irritate you. Right. But. So at least that's what I like to think. And I interact with a lot of you on text message and on email. But I know that there's one of you out there who has children that you just like, let them do what they want to do, because that's the path of least resistance. You are going to teach them by. But you are going to teach them by acting. And essentially by telling them what to do. They don't know any different until you tell them what to do. And shitting on the floor and that.

[Listener]

There's consequences. Yeah, there's consequences for doing.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, I wish they had caught those kids.

[Listener]

I know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I want their mug shot on every fucking Instagram reel from here to Timbuktu. And I wanted to say, these kids. These kids shit on floors. These kids shit on floors and then puke. Well, I'd puke too, if I saw someone shit right in front of me.

[Listener]

And you're behind a skeeball machine where it's dark and cramped and bleh.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. Why?

[Listener]

I don't know.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Why are you going back there to poop? That seems like more trouble than just going to the bathroom. Yeah. And why do you have to bring your friends with you?

[Listener]

Where did they even get the idea?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Who conjured this up? Kids are so strange. Yeah. Were they playing skeeball and one kid went, I gotta take a hot dump. And the other kid went, let's do.

[Betty]

It behind the skeeball.

[Listener]

It might have been like a dare.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Can I see Uranus?

[Listener]

The old dare.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, the old dare. A dare to do it behind a skeeball machine. And then just imagine the whole scene back there. A bunch of kids, just one. And one's puking on the other one's back. I mean, it's a whole nightmare anyway, that. Listen. And I mean, this must be like death by a thousand paper cuts when you work at a place like this, because you must See, just the wildest stuff. Day after day, night after night, and have to deal with it. Oh, God bless you.

[Listener]

The sweet little baby.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Well, you have the sweet Betty.

[Listener]

The sweet Betty and the little baby smile and happiness. And then the other sisters games were saved, too. I mean, Betty really saved the day.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

There is a small amount of hope, a small amount of hope for our world. And her name is Betty. If we can just get Betty, maybe. Maybe Betty can be in charge of Doge.

[Listener]

I think so. I think that's a good idea.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah. We'll put Betty in charge of Joe Doge, and maybe we'll get some better results. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Oh, the good old Doji.

[Listener]

Well, thanks for calling in Betty again. And I think we're gonna have to continue.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, so we. So we've been communicating with a number of our listeners and whoever is on the phones, we have been talking to a few of them about potentially coming on. There's a guy named Sean who has been a huge fan of the show for a long time. Love our Sean. And he's like a wildlife trapper, but like a wildlife trapper who traps, like, alligators. Oh, and snakes, you know, rabid raccoons and possums and all the things we hate.

[Listener]

Is he in Florida?

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

He is. Well, yeah. Maybe I'll let him tell us where he is. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to.

[Listener]

I guess I'm thinking alligators.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, it's in the southeast somewhere. Yeah. I'll let him decide whether or not. I just want to be. I just want to be careful about. Oh, yeah, maybe Louisiana. Well, we'll ask him when he gets here. So if you want to be on the show, could you please text us? 2124-3338-2212-4333. TCB. Start a conversation with us, leave us a voicemail or text us, let us know why it's interesting to put you on the show, and maybe you'll be the next person, the next guest on tcb. Kelsey Cook and then Betty. Kelsey Cook and then Betty. I gotta say, they're both just equally as interesting.

[Listener]

It's so nice.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

There you go. All right. Also, could you do us a favor? Please follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. We'd love it if you would become an Instagram follower. We have clips of the show usually daily. I think Chrissy and I are going to try and get in the game here. We're going to try and make some content specific for social media. So the only place you'll be able to see it is on social media. That could include clips of the show me doing some fun Joe Jonas trend or I don't know, eating a piece of cake or something.

[Listener]

Whatever the kids are doing in the water.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

Yeah, don't expect too much out of us, but we might, we might do it. Of course we just said it so now it will never happen. But anyway, so just follow us at the commercial break TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com the commercial break for all the shows on video the same day they air here on the audio tcbpodcast.com all the audio, all the video and your free TCB schwag. Okay Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.

[Listener]

I think so.

[Chris Joy Hoadley]

I will tell you that I love you. Best to you, best to you and best to Betty out there and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time Christine, I will say we do say and we must say goodbye.

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[Betty]

Exclusively on ESPN. UFC 313 Saturday Reigning light heavyweight champion Alex Pereira defends his title against number one contender Magomed Ankalaev and an explosive lightweight bout between Justin Gaethje and Rafael Pizzie. UFC 313 Saturday at 10pm Easter buy it on espnplus.com ppb.