The Commercial Break Episode: There’s Bass Ass In The Chattahoochee Coochee! Release Date: February 7, 2025 Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley

Episode Overview

Bryan and Krissy dive headfirst—sometimes literally—into the murky waters of Atlanta’s Chattahoochee River, riffing on “shooting the hooch,” contamination anxieties, and childhood memories of floating down bacteria-laden rapids. The show pivots to entertainment drama: dissecting the Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni feud, then evaluating 2025’s Oscar contenders (with plenty of side-eye for Emilia Perez and passionate takes on Guy Fieri, cruise ships, and the “wonders” of Margaritaville branding). Expect signature TCB banter: tangents abound, complaints are cathartic, and no subject is too trivial—or too gross—for comedic inspection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Legendary “Shooting the Hooch” on the Chattahoochee (00:24–15:40)

• History & Local Culture

  • Bryan recalls the raucous river tradition started by Georgia Tech students in 1979, which blossomed into “Shooting the Hooch”—as thousands rafted down Atlanta’s river, fueled by beer and radio hype.
  • “Now, I often say to people…if you want strepococcus A, feel free to dip your toes in the Chattahoochee coochie. Because that’s exactly what it is…it is known to have bacteria in it you probably don’t want the human body coming in contact with.” — Bryan Green (02:07)

• Contamination & Dangers

  • Both hosts share horror stories of sick friends, floating debris, and bacterial infestations from their rare excursions down the river.
  • “I swear to God, I did it once. I’m not doing it again.” — Krissy Hoadley (03:20)
  • Bryan’s germaphobe tendencies shine: “I’m a noted germaphobe…I just can’t take the thought that I would put my mouth, my head, my hands in a river where people have been known to get brain-eating amoebas inside of their nostrils and die from it. It’s not for me.” (04:37)
  • The pair lampoon the slapdash organization: clueless teenagers running rentals, unmarked landing zones, zero supervision, and raft trips that last far too long. “It always became like a way too long adventure. Two hours I can handle…now imagine you brought an 18 pack…You’re two hours in, you miss the exit, there’s no way to turn back.” — Bryan (13:12)

• Water Pollution Tales

  • They reminisce about city-wide neglect of waterways, from rubber ducky contests (questioning how any were tracked) to rivers that literally caught fire from pollution.
  • “Everybody threw everything into the river...I think there was a river in Buffalo, New York, that was on fire for a decade.” — Bryan (07:04)

• Parental Panic

  • Dirty rivers—Chattahoochee, Paris’ Seine, and even Bryan’s dad’s lake—leave parents on high alert for floaters, film, and the dreaded “bass ass.”
  • “When I’m going down that Chattahoochee River, I think about bass ass. Because those bass, they just open their mouth. They’re bottom feeders. They suck in whatever comes…” — Bryan (10:39)
  • Krissy confesses her one-and-done adventure: “It was like dusk…and we were like, where is the end of this?...It had been like eight hours, nine hours. We had to call the company.” (12:02)

2. Absurd Ideas for TCB Outings (Spoofing Charity Events, 05:23, 54:53)

• Satirical pitch for a TCB-sponsored “Shooting the Hooch for Charity.”
• Jokes about selling studio tours instead: “For $50, we’ll give you a tour and a sticker for free.” — Bryan (17:42)

3. Oscar Feuds: The Blake Lively & Justin Baldoni Saga (19:25–29:41)

• Overview of the Feud

  • Bryan play-acts “storytime,” relaying (with ample disclaimer about accuracy) the escalating drama between Lively and Baldoni over their domestic violence film project, editorial disputes, sexual harassment claims, and a spiral of lawsuits and PR one-upmanship.
  • “I’m weighing in. Regardless of being completely misinformed. I’m weighing in. I’m yet another idiot on the Internet just saying shit to say shit.” — Bryan (21:39)
  • “They are both destroying each other’s careers…they will not have careers after this because no one’s going to want to work with them.” (25:03)
  • Krissy’s take: “It seems like it’s gotten out of control, and now people are past the point.” (28:19)

• Media & Internet Sensation

  • The pair lampoon coverage by Perez Hilton, call out the self-sabotaging behavior of both stars, and debate which version of “it ends/starts/begins with us” actually matters.
  • “Welcome to the age of 2025 when truth doesn’t matter. It’s just about who talks the loudest. Done with it.” — Bryan (28:29)

4. 2025 Oscar Buzz and Movie Hot Takes (29:41–39:45)

• Discussing Best Picture Contenders

  • Hot takes on movies like Amelia Perez (“many critics did not think this movie was that great, but for some reason, it got voted in”), Conclave, A Complete Unknown, Wicked, Honora.
  • “Why it’s a musical and why they have…an entire five minutes dedicated to a song about vagioplasty, I have no idea. Like, it’s just a little weird.” — Bryan (31:12)
  • Krissy’s review of Honora: “It’s funny and it’s different and it was good…I wasn’t crying.” (35:45)

• Academy Politics

  • Acknowledging heavy PR, billboards, “for your consideration” campaigns, and the Oscar’s pay-to-play vibe: “It is bought and paid for. They lobby the voters to make sure they get votes…” (31:54)

• Animated Category

  • Wallace and Gromit nostalgia and Krissy’s devotion: “Loved it…just such a household favorite when mine were young.” (38:31)
  • “I’ll stick with Bluey…Maybe I’ll watch it.” — Bryan (38:34)

• Best/Worst Reviews and the Subjectivity of Criticism

  • “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone’s got one, and they all stink. And that’s all I got to say about that.” — Bryan (39:46)

5. The Absurdity of Reality & Politics (40:50–42:36)

• Bryan lambasts a political suggestion to turn Gaza into “the Riviera of the Middle East.”
  • “One of the dumbest things I’ve heard is, let’s turn Gaza into the Riviera of the Middle East…Just occupy it. Just take it over and build golf courses. You got to be kidding me.” (41:07)

6. Guy Fieri: Food Network Icon and Cruise Ship Huckster (42:36–48:28)

• Riffing on Guy Fieri’s omnipresence, with tales of him at Rage Against the Machine concerts, Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives’ nap-inducing charm, charity work, and Food Network’s relentless branding.
  • “He’s gonna say, well, bam, yeah, yo, put the onions in…Part that bothers me about Triple D is that he thinks he’s so good at being a chef, that no matter what someone is cooking, he knows what’s coming next before they do…” (44:08)
  • Krissy: “I like Guy. After we did the show about it, people were writing in…’Leave Guy alone!’” (45:12)

7. Margaritaville Cruise Ship: The Cruise No One Wants (48:28–55:30)

• Branding Gone Overboard

  • Bryan and Krissy mock the Margaritaville empire’s foray into cruises and resorts, painting the cruise ship as “the worst in America”: tiny, disgusting, little-to-do, and “Motel 6 has better rooms than these.”
  • “There is a cruise ship called the Margaritaville Cruise Ship…[it] is really disgusting…” — Bryan (50:52)

• TCB’s “Worst Cruise Ship in America” Challenge

  • Bryan pitches a TCB podcast recording from the Margaritaville cruise ship. Krissy is wary, but Bryan is relentless: “We could bring disinfectant. And our own food. And our own food.”
  • “Would you bring your kids on this cruise?” Krissy. “Fuck no.” — Bryan (54:17)
  • Idea of an “unofficial” Commercial Break cruise where listeners join at their own risk: “You come at your own risk. Essentially, you pay for it. Don’t bother us, but we’ll be there…” (55:30)

• Health & Safety Musings

  • “I just want to make sure the captain has all his eyes and legs. That’s all I care about…if something bad happened, we could be in the water for a couple of days. It’s warm water.” — Bryan (55:54)

8. Wrapping Up: Listener Engagement and Tangents (56:34–end)

• Call to action for listeners: leave voicemail, share show, buy cruise tickets, or just send love/hate mail.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you want strepococcus A, feel free to dip your toes in the Chattahoochee coochie.” — Bryan (02:07)
• “That makes me nervous when I send my children out to go swimming in there.” — Bryan (09:29)
• “When I’m going down that Chattahoochee River, I think about bass ass.” — Bryan (10:39)
• “Now we got microplastics in our brains.” — Bryan (05:21)
• “I wish I had watched more of these movies…I really do.” — Bryan (39:07)
• “I like Guy. And after we did the show about it, people were writing in: ‘Leave Guy alone!’” — Krissy (45:12)
• “Would you bring your kids on this cruise? Fuck no.” — Bryan (54:17)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Shooting the Hooch/Chattahoochee Hazards: 00:24–15:40
• Rubber Ducky Races & River Pollution Nostalgia: 05:50–08:15
• Oscar Drama—Lively vs. Baldoni: 19:25–29:41
• 2025 Oscars Discussion: 29:41–39:45
• Riff on Guy Fieri: 42:36–48:28
• Margaritaville Cruise Ship Segment: 48:28–55:30
• Pitch for TCB Cruise Adventure: 54:53–end

Final Notes

This episode typifies The Commercial Break’s blend of Atlanta nostalgia, gross-out humor, self-deprecating life advice, and irrepressible side-tracks—where floating poop and “bass ass” on the Chattahoochee segue seamlessly into Oscars snark, pop-culture feuds, and ambitious (if questionable) podcast schemes. Even if you missed the episode, this summary ensures you’re in on every gag, gripe, and bout of river-fueled paranoia.