The Commercial Break – "Two-A-Days" (June 28, 2024)
Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley
Episode Overview
In this episode, Bryan and Krissy dive headfirst into the chaotic world of self-proclaimed “pickup artist” John Anthony (of John Anthony Lifestyle), lampooning his viral video advice on managing a “rotation” of 17 women at once. True to TCB’s signature style—a blend of off-the-cuff humor, sharp pop culture commentary, and irreverent self-awareness—they alternate between dissecting John Anthony’s patter and riffing on everything from 90s rock nostalgia to the absurd spectacle of modern internet “dating coaches.” Along the way, they also touch on Taylor Swift vs. Dave Grohl, their radio station days, and the cyclical nature of douchebaggery in digital culture.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Taylor Swift v. Dave Grohl: The “Eras/Errors Tour” Kerfuffle
Timestamps: 05:10 – 11:31
- Bryan brings up the recent social media spat: Dave Grohl quipped, “We call it the Errors Tour because we make a lot of errors… We happen to play our music live”—implying Taylor Swift lip syncs her shows.
- Bryan: “I do not agree with Dave. I think she was absolutely singing live. I was close enough to see.” (06:34)
- The hosts joke about obsessive Swifties defending Taylor in Foo Fighters’ comments.
- Krissy and Bryan riff on over-the-top concert ticket pricing, the unending length of the Eras Tour, and the worship of celebrity relationships.
- Bryan: “I think it’s time the ERAS tour is over. She needs to take a rest. Buy a yacht, have your Hamptons era…” (08:20)
- Personal anecdotes about partners “fangirling” over celebrities.
- Bryan: “[At home] there are two grown ass adult women yipping like little teenagers over Bridgerton and Travis Kelce. God, could you have some respect for the guys in the room?” (08:50)
2. 90s Rock Nostalgia & Legacy Acts
Timestamps: 12:01 – 14:05
- Discussion of how musicians from the hosts’ youth (Spin Doctors, Counting Crows, Hootie & the Blowfish, etc.) are staging nostalgia tours.
- Bryan: “Isn’t it crazy that the musicians we grew up with are now having a renaissance? Now we have expendable cash to watch the guy from Spin Doctors throw his leg above his head.” (12:37)
- Self-deprecating, classic TCB banter about their own “fringe” status in entertainment and “grunge adjacent” failed bands.
- Chrissy: “Might have been like, grunge adjacent.”
- Bryan: “So was 33 Penis. We were grunge adjacent also. Not really grunge, not really music.” (13:39)
3. Inside Look: John Anthony’s Dating “Rotation”
Timestamps: 16:46 – 54:45
A. Instant Red Flags: Pickup Line Creepiness
- Hosts play and dissect John Anthony’s viral video “How to give a girl a sexual compliment without being creepy”.
- Clip: “Wow, I like this outfit you have... Wow. I didn’t realize you were so sexy.”
- Chrissy: “That’s so creepy.” (16:59)
- Bryan: “Just do yourself a favor and never use ‘sexy’ in the first sentence of meeting someone.” (17:12)
- Ridiculing the physicality and entitlement John Anthony exhibits, especially as he forcibly pulls women towards him.
B. The “17 Girl Rotation” Breakdown
- John Anthony’s life system outlined: a “main” girl (Liz, a civil engineer—“Liz from Brazil”), open marriage (one-way), second apartment exclusively for hookups.
- John Anthony: “I have 17 different girls on the side... I also live with a girl in a one-way open marriage.” (24:12)
- Bryan: “Why I run a big rotation? Because no girl can stand me more than 24 hours.” (24:03)
- Hosts incredulously joke about the logistics and honesty required for such a setup.
- Bryan: “Three or four girls— I barely want one. One is fine with me!” (22:30)
- Chrissy: “How can you even keep up with what one likes?... Sometimes the personalities!” (32:55)
C. Dissecting the "System"
- John Anthony claims guys should constantly be collecting “10–20 new phone numbers per week” via apps, bars, and “day game” (malls, cafes).
- John Anthony: “You want to see each of these girls once a week. So if you have 17, that’s two per day.”
- Bryan: “That’s 2.27 per day. I can’t keep up with Astrid. How would I keep up with two-point-anything girls per day?” (31:47)
- Repeatedly pitches “pro photo services,” “texting scripts,” and his “leads machine” product.
- Bryan: “Copy and paste boyfriend! Don’t fall for it.” (42:40)
D. The Absurdity of Pickup Logic
- The hosts point out the lack of emotional intelligence and basic humanity in John Anthony’s approach.
- Bryan: “You don’t know how to ride, but you got great naturals. I only got two in rotation now, so you’re in for right now. Let’s work on that popping.” (47:15)
- Chrissy: “So, you sit down 10–20 girls a week, sleep with them, and only then do you consider them for regular rotation?” (46:23)
- John Anthony describes a “yellow card, firm warning” approach for women with “attitude” or “drama.”
- Bryan: “Yellow card. Get in the shower. Clean yourself up. I don’t want all that drama.” (48:24)
E. The Hosts’ Final Take
- Both Bryan and Chrissy call out the disturbing, dehumanizing view toward women—and the underlying loneliness/emptiness in John Anthony’s worldview.
- Bryan: “The way he talks about women... So disgusting... This makes me sick...” (49:32)
- Bryan: “Why don’t you teach guys how to really connect with women? Or with their partners, whatever it is.” (54:34)
- “Have a little respect for yourself and those around you” becomes the episode’s unexpectedly sober takeaway.
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On modern dating advice:
Bryan (18:13): “By the way, just do yourself a favor and never use ‘sexy’ in the first sentence of meeting somebody.” -
On John Anthony’s rotation system:
John Anthony (22:23): “By running more volume, by building up a rotation, it allows you to be pickier as well. Some guys only want three or four girls. That’s totally fine.”
Bryan (22:30): “I barely want one. I’m good.” -
On sheer ridiculousness:
Bryan (31:47): “That’s one...That’s two-point-two-seven per day. How in the world would I keep up with 2.77 girls per day? ... I can’t keep up with Astrid!” -
On tackling creepers:
Chrissy (16:59): “That’s so creepy.”
Bryan (17:12): “Just do yourself a favor and never use sexy in the first sentence…” -
On the conveyor-belt mentality:
John Anthony (45:12): “You acquire new phone numbers, you set them down for dates, you sleep with some of them, and then literally the hottest, coolest ones you have the most chemistry with— that are the lowest levels of drama... you put those on rotation.”
Bryan: “If I got a phone number, I would consider that the best day of my life. That would be the close.” (46:26) -
On the gross commodification of dating:
Bryan (53:03): “You know what they say, with my text scripts and Tinder scripts, you’ll be knocking out... six, seven times a day. ... Mom in the hospital? Don’t worry. Multiple kids at home? Forget them. This is more important. You need a sexual variety.”
Episode Highlights by Timestamp
- 00:51–05:08 – “Morning Zoo” banter; local radio prize weirdness; nostalgia about meeting musicians as DJs.
- 05:10–11:31 – Swifties v. Foo Fans; concert ticket prices; radio biz stories; spontaneous pop culture riffs.
- 12:01–14:05 – Alter kocker nostalgia tours; Spin Doctors’ “bionic” performance; their own “grunge adjacent” past.
- 16:46–19:18 – First listen & break-down of John Anthony’s viral “compliment” video (“wow, I like this outfit…”).
- 19:28 on – Deep-dive into John Anthony’s “rotation” philosophy, illustrated with increasingly ludicrous self-promotion, and Bryan & Krissy’s relentless takedown.
- 35:43, 41:30, 54:45 – Peak ridicule: attempts to imagine fitting 17 women into everyday life; comparison to Pizza Hut buffets; calls for basic decency and reality checks.
Takeaway & Tone
Relentlessly irreverent, The Commercial Break skewers toxic dating culture and pickup artistry by exaggerating its absurdity, with Bryan and Krissy serving as both wisecracking observers and weary survivors of the modern media swamp. Their nuanced takedown of John Anthony is equal parts hilarious, scathingly critical, and—occasionally—endearingly sincere.
For further TCB adventures (and to mock John Anthony’s “leads machine”), follow the show on Instagram at @thecommercialbreak, or text your own dating disasters to 212-433-TCB.