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The Conscious Entrepreneur | Leadership, Self-Awareness & Mindset
EP 118: Leadership Communication In A Virtual World: Build Executive Presence, Speak With Confidence, And Lead Better Zoom & Hybrid Meetings
00:41:40
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- [00:00]
A
Executive presence takes on a whole new meaning now that so much of our leadership actually happens on camera. That's why I've invited Karen Reed to be my guest today. Karen is an on camera communication expert. She's a best selling author and a former NBC journalist who spent the last 15 years helping leaders and teams show up online and in hybrid meetings with clarity and confidence. In our conversation today, Karen gives us advice about small shifts that instantly change how people experience us online. She talks about where we should look, how to use our voice to be more interesting, what to do with your hands, and how to open a meeting without feeling stiff or formal. As you think about how you and your team want to grow in the year ahead, these are the kinds of communication tips that strengthen the whole business. I'm so excited to get into it. Let's go. You're listening to the Conscious Entrepreneur and I'm Sarah Lockwood. This is the only podcast completely dedicated to the well being of entrepreneurs. It's where we do the inner work to become the leaders our businesses truly need. A thriving business starts with a thriving you. Let's get into it. Karen, you really have been a leader for the past 15 years in helping leaders develop executive presence, develop effective communication skills. In the past, maybe in person, and more recently in these hybrid environments where communicating both through zoom or Riverside or camera, as well as to people in the same room. And this is an important skill set for leaders and for our teams. So I'd love for you to maybe talk a little bit about your, your journey of becoming an expert in this space.
- [01:47]
B
Yeah, absolutely. I actually began my career as a broadcast journalist. I worked primarily for NBC and covered everything from presidential campaigns to the Olympics. Interviewed luminaries like Muhammad Ali. Then I left the business to apply my skills in the corporate world. And what I found is that I would be brought in as the professional on camera spokesperson. But more and more often they would bring people in from the corner office or the corner cubicle to appear on camera alongside of me. And they were expected to perform at the same level of skill as I did. That often did not go well. So I saw a business opportunity to teach business professionals how to be better on camera communicators. That quickly expanded though to helping people speak with ease across all platforms. So that could be on camera, but it was also in person, as you mentioned, as well as through virtual communication tools. And it was that last one that became mission critical somewhere around 2020. And that's when my business just blossomed. Speaker dynamics at that point was Working primarily with executive leadership teams. But then I had people come to me and they're like, hey, can you train the entire enterprise? I'm like, well, that's a lot of workshops. So we had to figure out how to expand our footprint and meet the need. That was very great at that time, which resulted in us creating an online platform called Speaker Dynamics University, which focuses on helping people to develop their virtual presence in a variety of different ways. And it was also a way for me to meet my co author, Dr. Joe Allen. So I had written a book, On Camera Coach, to encapsulate my on camera methodology somewhere in the mid 20 teens. But I was working. This is kind of funny, Sarah. I was working for a company as a subject matter expert, which is big in the video collaboration space. This is before COVID and they asked me to do a webinar with Dr. Allen, who is one of the foremost meeting scientists in the world, talking about what would meetings look like, you know, down the road. And we talked about how in five to 10 years there will be a lot of meetings where video is at their core. So that was the first week of March 2020. So all the things that we said would happen in five to 10 years happened in like two weeks. And then we ended up writing three books together. Suddenly Virtual is focused on virtual meetings. Suddenly Hybrid is how to navigate probably the trickiest of all meetings, but perhaps the most satisfying. Upon the success of Suddenly Virtual and Suddenly Hybrid, we were asked to write a book for the dummy series. So we wrote Running Effective Meetings for Dummies. So thinking how I got from, you know, covering the news of the day to helping leaders and teams, you know, all over the globe to be better communicators may not make sense initially, but I think that the storyline actually tracks.
- [04:55]
A
It does, it absolutely does. And I think it's. It's so important, especially this time of year.
- [05:01]
Of our listeners are people who are in the hot seat, making presentations, speaking to investors, speaking to boards, speaking to sales prospects as the CEO or the face of the company, but also are deeply invested in the success of their teams and personal and professional development of their teams. And this is a time of year where people are thinking about, you know, what should be my goals for 2026, what, you know, where would I like to grow myself or grow my team. And that's why I thought it was so important for us to come together and talk about this topic, because making this investment in yourself or your team's communication skills is, is, you know, a service that will Last forever to the benefit of your company in an area where so many people feel so insecure. And maybe we can start there where you could talk a little bit about maybe some of the growth that you see whenever you're working. People in this space, like, what is the transformation that they experience, not just in their communication skills, but in their effectiveness?
- [06:09]
B
Yeah, well, I think they're definitely linked. You know, those who are most effective in their roles are typically those who are some of the best communicators. And, you know, communication is the core of business. And that's not just me saying that. There are lots of, you know, business gurus who would say the same thing. And frankly, whenever you look at what people are asking for, from a professional development standpoint, communication is always in the top three. So it. It is an investment that does pay dividends over time. You know, we work with teams at every level, the enterprise. Sometimes it's those who are fresh out of college, just starting in their role. We work at the sales rotation of the big tech company, and we're part of their onboarding curriculum where we teach them the foundational best practices for good communication, both virtually as well as in person. And I thought what a great gift that is to those, you know, fresh graduates that they are learning how to be effective in their presentation skills right from the beginning. And oftentimes those who are the leaders of those teams say, wow, I wish I had this whenever I was their age, because it does. It sets you up for success. So the transformation is so readily apparent when you see it. Sarah and I gotten some very nice kudos over the years of people saying, wow, it's like night and day, especially when it comes to the virtual space. So this is relatively new, right? Traditionally, most people have communicated face to face, maybe over the phone, but whenever everybody was kind of forced into the digital communication space, there was a lot of frustration and confusion. And it really comes down to the mental mindset whenever you're in this environment, because rather than people thinking about the camera as a conduit to their conversation partner, they thought about it as just them talking to a piece of glass. And that that is going to affect everything, right? Because if you're talking to a piece of glass, you are going to in all likelihood, be a muted version of yourself.
- [08:32]
As human beings, we typically will mimic the body language of our conversation partner. You know, our facial expressions mimic that of our conversation partner. And what often happens in this environment, like the one we're using right now, where we're speaking through a camera, Is we don't have those social cues to play off of from our conversation partner. Maybe we can glance down at the screen and pick up those non verbals, but it's not constant. And so people end up being a lesser version of themselves and it makes them less effective because it doesn't feel authentic. And one of the core philosophies of speaker dynamics is that the best speakers are steeped in authenticity. And in this environment, authenticity is very difficult to capture because we have all these barriers due to the different mode that we are forced to communicate in. But if you figure out how to visualize your viewer.
- [09:36]
Then everything kind of comes back.
- [09:39]
A
One of the things that I feel many people struggle with when they're presenting or even having a meeting on camera like this is you have, it feels like you have to make a choice. Are you looking directly at the camera? So it feels as if you're making eye contact with the other person or are you looking at yourself? Are you looking at them? It's just, where in the heck do you look?
- [10:03]
Just struggle with that so much. I have, I've heard people have different techniques. You know, they turn their own view of themselves off so they can just look at the other person or people in the meeting. What kind of approach do you recommend? I'd love to hear some of your tips, if you could share just a few on how to be more, more effective in this, in this space.
- [10:25]
B
Eye contact is the most vexing challenge when it comes to speaking virtually. And I, I work with some big hardware companies. I'm like, please folks, can you figure out how to embed the camera in the screen so that we can be looking at the person that we are conversing with on the screen? And it doesn't look like we're looking down or looking elsewhere, because that happens all the time, right? So we don't have that technology available to the masses. It does exist, but it's just too expensive for it to go into a laptop at this point. And there are so many different companies that have tried to work their way around that I have not found one that works well.
- [11:10]
A
I used one called Center Cam for a long time and it was just this crazy contraption. It did work, but it was really clunky and ultimately I abandoned it.
- [11:21]
B
Now, was it software or hardware had ones where like they said like it would, where like the little, the little, I guess, you know, cord comes down and then the camera sitting in the middle. But then it's like you got a camera in the middle of your screen. And that's annoying.
- [11:37]
A
Yeah, I mean, it was a good, it was a good try and I appreciated it. I bought it. I used it for a while, I think probably a year or two during COVID And then I was like, this is just too clunky and sort of abandon the effort. But I agree.
- [11:50]
B
Different. Did you notice, like, if you would look just even an inch away from the camera, it was dramatic. Like the difference in eye line to your conversation partner is off the charts. So let me just like for your listeners, think about it this way. Imagine if you were talking to somebody and you're meeting them for the first time and you're introducing yourself to them. Imagine if you would not be able to look them in the eye. You can look everywhere but at their face. You know, you can look at their shoulder, you can look beyond their head. Do you feel like the person you're talking to would feel like you're invested in the conversation? No, no. It'd probably be like, are you looking for somebody more interesting to talk to? If you're looking over my shoulder, you know, so it is very uncomfortable to your conversation partner when you are not making good, good eye contact with them. And in a virtual space, if you are making good eye contact, that means you're looking primarily at the camera lens. Underline primarily on that. So here, here's the answer your questions, Sarah. Like, where the heck do you look? Here's what I suggest. The camera is your portal to your people. So you want to direct your energy into that portal, which is the camera. It's the de facto version of your conversation partner's eyes. But that does not mean that you were staring at it non stop because then you look like you're, you know, taking a hostage video. Right, exactly. So it's a matter of thinking about how you would interact with a person face to face. And we look away all the time when we're talking to people face to face because it makes them feel uncomfortable if we're staring at them and boring a hole in their brains. So what I suggest is primarily focusing your energy through the camera. Which means, yeah, you do look at the camera a lot of times when you're speaking, but you also are looking away and glancing down. Like I can glance down right now and I can see whenever you go like this. Like, I do not need to be staring at you, Sarah, to see if you are doing something interesting like that. Because the barrier that you're creating between yourself and your conversation is really big and you want to be able to connect. So when you're speaking, primarily look at the camera lens, but steal away those glances and in those, those split seconds, you can capture those non verbals very, very easily. And when you are not talking, here's what I would suggest. You look at the screen, watch your person who is talking to you, because then you can reap the benefits of reading their body language. So it's this kind of dance between talking to the camera and looking at the person who's talking. Now I will tell you, like in the podcast, I kind of revert to my old newscast days where, you know, I'm looking into the camera the whole time because I think about, this is like a double box, that's what they called in a news parlance. And you know, I want to make sure that I'm matched up and I know that the viewer is watching this, you know, the entire time with the two of us on screen. So I'm going to typically be spending more time looking at the camera than I normally would if I were having just a conversation with somebody.
- [15:03]
A
Now there's another aspect of communication on camera which has to do with our gestures. And I find it very difficult to use my hands and have my hands be in, in frame when I'm doing zoom meetings. And it's something that I've really focused on to try to emphasize my points or to create.
- [15:25]
You know, that reinforcement of an idea by using my hands. But it's so easy to just sort of put them in your lap or put them on your desk and they never come into sight. But that triggers our minds to. I've, I've read or heard that that makes people feel uncomfortable when they can't see your hands. What your, what are your thoughts about that?
- [15:44]
B
So, and I can't speak to the research that you, you mentioned, but what I've always thought is the less you're thinking about what your hands are doing, the better off you are. Because if you, I mean truly, if you're focusing on the message and you have a freedom of movement, so you have an opportunity to gesture, then whatever your body does is going to support your oratory. So, for example, you don't talk about what you had for dinner last night by saying, well, I had chicken from my entree, now I'm going to move my right hand. And for dessert I had a chocolate torte. Now I'm going to move my left hand. I'm going to make sure I keep it in frame. You don't have to do that. Like, what is important is that you allow your body to flow freely, because as your body moves, your words will flow more smoothly. Because we communicate not just with our words, not just with their tone of voice. We communicate with our whole bodies. And if you try to muzzle any aspect of that, it's going to make you less authentic as a communicator. So what I would say is, like, don't worry about keeping them in the frame. And especially, like, there's also framing issues that you think about. So the way we frame ourselves, just so that it's clear for. For the listeners and viewers, is how much of you can be seen on. On camera. And, you know, there are various versions of that, but it does impact what sort of gestures work well and what do not, like, in terms of how big they are. So I'd like to think about framing as like, creating distance between you and your conversation partner. So if you are on a medium shot, and I don't think I can actually fix myself on here, I'll try. So if I'm. It's like show and tell. This is more like a medium shot where I'm seeing from, like the waist up. I have a lot of room to gesture here because is. It's emulating a conversation with somebody who is several feet away from me. So think about, like, if you're at a networking event and you can move your arms around. Now, if I were up on stage, then I could do whatever I wanted with my body because I'm not invading personal space. But whenever you are on a tight shot, which is more or less what I'm using right now, which is where you're seeing from the chest up, you're using it as well. You're more limited because think about how close you are to your conversation partner. You're just a couple of feet away. And if you have all these gestures up here.
- [18:04]
A
Right. That's kind of distracting. Right.
- [18:06]
B
Super distracting. And, you know, think about if you're in person with somebody talking to them face to face. Have you ever had a situation where somebody's a close talker?
- [18:15]
A
Sure.
- [18:16]
B
And you're like, oh, please move back.
- [18:18]
A
You're.
- [18:18]
B
You're making me uncomfortable.
- [18:20]
A
Yes.
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B
You can do that on camera as well and not realize that we're doing it.
- [18:23]
A
Yeah.
- [18:24]
B
Terrible.
- [18:25]
A
Yeah.
- [18:25]
B
So you have a thing.
- [18:26]
A
You have a call with someone like that, and you're just like, wow, this is.
- [18:31]
B
The proximity that they're creating by their framing is going to immediately give you a negative perception of them. So you have to be cognizant of that. And then with that in Mind, you know, just allow your body to gesture. So if you are on a tight shot like this, you probably don't want to keep them up here.
- [18:51]
I like to think about allowing my body to move because it's an important part of how we communicate. But even body movement off camera is valuable because it makes you appear more comfortable, more relaxed, more genuine. And if your hands pop in and out of frame periodically, that's a good thing. But I would not seek to focus on having your hands in frame because the focus should be on your message, what you're saying, not what your hands are doing.
- [19:22]
A
Let me ask you another question, if I may just sprinkle a few questions. Your direction. How do you help people develop their sort of welcome, their hello, their introduction? I think that people find that so uncomfortable at the beginning of a meeting, perhaps with someone they don't know on zoom or on camera teams, whatever. Because all of a sudden you're sort of in someone's space. You're, you're looking at their office, you're looking at their backdrop, you see so much more. It's just.
- [20:00]
Something that people do very differently. Because I talk to so many people on camera. Some people just hop in and they're, hey, how are you? Just jumping right into like as if you know this person. Then other people are like, hello, it's really nice to meet you and much more formal. Do you have a suggestion about how people could practice that or develop something that they feel comfortable with and proud of?
- [20:26]
B
Yeah, I mean there's, there's all sorts of philosophies that I could share with you. One of the things that I like to impress upon people is just think about what kind of conversation you're having. So this is physically distant, but a pretty intimate space. You know, as you mentioned, like we, you pop on screen and you know, if we think about the in person version of what we are doing right now, we'd be like sitting across the table from each other. It's not like we are formally meeting. So there, there's a different sort of feel to this space which is important to be aware of because that's going to impact how you do everything. It's going to impact how you, you present vocally. It's going to impact the way you present physically as well. So understand that this is a pretty close conversation. It's a pretty intimate space and formality is going to look stiff. And one of the challenges in this environment is that it can feel very sterile, it can feel sanitized. And one of the Beefs that I have is that people who hop onto a call and they're on mute and they don't mute themselves, think about what it'd be like if you'd be going into an in person meeting with somebody and, and like you don't say anything. You just sit there and stare at each other. Okay, now we're ready to start the meeting. Like that would be so weird. That does not happen. So the closer we can get to having this space feel more like an in person interaction, the better. So I am definitely somebody who is always on off mute when I begin. If I'm leading a meeting, I'm probably opening it up 10 minutes before the call, allowing people to come in on their own time. And I'm greeting them as they come into the room, into the virtual room and having some of that small talk. Because one thing to consider is small talk is not just a nice to have, it's a need to have. Because based upon meeting research from my friend Dr. Joe island, all of that non business small talk actually leads to better business, business outcomes. And it also kind of primes the participation pump. So if you want people to talk, if you want to have dialogue and you're just not talking at them, you need to let them hear themselves speak early. So we call them voice opportunities. If you want to get like technical. And if they talk about something that is low stakes, that is not related to the business, then that gives them kind of fuel for their continued participation throughout. And it creates a different dynamic in the room, a more, you know, dialogue driven version than if everybody just sits there and waits for the formal meeting to start. So I am a fan of doing that. So I think thinking about it being this intimate conversation, thinking about it being more like you're just walking into somebody's office, how would you interact in that circumstance? Keeping yourself off mute, engaging in conversation before the official meeting begins is really helpful.
- [23:37]
A
Absolutely. Those are great tips. Do you, when you are teaching some of the classwork that your coursework that you teach.
- [23:48]
What kind of things do you see that people are getting so wrong?
- [23:54]
B
Well, you know, I divide our virtual presence training into three different sections. So we focus on the MVPs of on camera success, which is the mental mindset, vocal variety, and physical factors. So that's one segment. We can talk more about that if you, you're interested. The second segment is on elevating your personal production value. And that's really how you show up whenever you come on screen. And it's so interesting there, you know, Some people figure it out like, like, you know, I need to, you know, have myself in frame. Some people do not. I still come on a call and people are like this, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, did you even look at yourself before you press join? And then so it's, it's everything from your, your background to your lighting to your audio, which has become even more important than people imagine, which we can talk about a Yale study, which is interesting. And then the third segment is on tools of engagement. Because one of the big dangers with this sort of virtual communic is that it's super easy for people to tune out. People want to be passive observers in this environment because it's how we've been conditioned to engage with screens, which is we don't. We watch a movie, we watch tv. But now we want people to be active participants through a screen. And that's super difficult to get them off of that default position. So it's a matter of figuring out techniques to always get them to do stuff. So whether that is like asking questions, making them do polls, putting something in chat, like always thinking about ways to re engage them throughout so that they don't, you know, start paying more attention to what's going on on their phone, what's going on out their window. It's difficult with all the distractions in the space.
- [25:45]
A
So you're, you divide this up into two parts. The first one there was a mindset.
- [25:49]
B
Component, the, the MVPs, which is mental mindset, vocal variety, and physical factors. So, so mental mindset, the big thing is it's a one on one conversation. And even though you might be talking to 25 people on the call, they're all receiving your message individually. And it feels like this very intimate conversation with them. You know, that's very different. That's a huge distinction between communicating with an audience that you're sharing the answer, same air with versus this space. And I first noticed this when I worked in TV news where I would go to the grocery store and people would say, karen Reed, how are you? How are your kids? Tell me what's going on? And they talk to me like I was a close personal friend. And you know, that might feel weird. But then think about it. I was coming into their homes on an almost daily basis and they developed a relationship with me, you know, albeit one sided, but it felt very real to them. And, and I'm sure you experience that as well, like with some of the podcasters who you follow, where you're like, I know them I feel like I really know them. And so this level of intimacy has been built in a very one way.
- [27:08]
Conversation. And you have to respect that. So understanding that it's this intimate conversation that is one on one, it's not you pontificating to everyone, it's you having conversations individually throughout. So that that's a huge part. Vocal variety is also a critical piece. And, and it's all about the idea that our brains are hardwired to pick up change in the environment. If nothing changes, all of those words will go in one ear and out the other. So remember I mentioned that sometimes there is this muted version of yourself that shows up in a virtual space that can actually translate to how we express ourselves vocally as well, where our vocal range narrows. And then we've just kind of talk like this. And if you imagine listening to somebody talk like this the entire time, nobody can pay attention, you know, so. So you have really kind of three levers that you can pull. You can change your pitch, you can use pacing as a way to vary things. And you can also use pausing. Pauses are by far the most effective way to grab somebody's attention. And then the last aspect is physical factors. And that's really how your body speaks on camera. And we talked, you know, about the importance of not thinking about what your hands are doing. Let your body do its own thing. It'll be organic to what you're saying and then from an eye contact perspective, how to navigate that. So that's like really the big chunk. So that's kind of approach. But the one thing I did want to emphasize is, is don't blow off the personal production value. You know, when I worked in TV news, when I worked in video production, I had a whole slew of people who made sure I looked and sounded good. But now we're all on camera without the professional expertise. So oftentimes we don't know what to do or we don't think it's important. But let me give you just a snippet of information here. That was really a light bulb moment for me. But audio is a huge component of how effective you will be as a communicator in this space. Specifically, Yale did a study that really provided data to support what I had known anecdotally and talked about anecdotally for years. And what it found is that if you have poor audio quality, people will automatically have a negative opinion of what you're presenting. They'll consider you to be less intelligent and consider you to be less credible. And that is a study. You can look it up, folks. Yale study. You know, poor audio quality has major social consequences. So it is imperative that we pay attention to how we sound and really make sure that we can communicate without distraction. Because it's not about vanity. You don't need to show up like you are a news anchor. You know, this is my brand. If I showed up looking a mess, you'd be like, what is she talking about? How can she be a video communication expert? But, but it's a matter of making sure that people can communicate with you without distraction. So that means paying attention to what's in your background. Making sure if you use one of those virtual backgrounds that it's not eating your hair. Making sure that you frame yourself appropriately. Thinking about your camera position, you don't want people looking up your nose. You also don't want to be looking up at them. If you have your camera set up high audio mentioned is really, really important. But also how you're taking up the frame. So for example, if you are trying to have presence in the virtual room, first of all, you need to be seen in the virtual room. So some people are like, I don't use my camera. I'm like, how can you own the room if you can't be seen in the room? So that, that's like the given. But then the thing I also like to think about is how you're, you're using the space that you are allotted. So I like to teach a three finger test. So you want, you want to do it, Sarah?
- [31:09]
A
Yes, please.
- [31:10]
B
Okay. All right. This is audience participation, folks. At home, you can do this too. So raise your hand like this. Okay. Connect your pinky and your thumb.
- [31:18]
A
Yeah, we're doing the girl scout promise.
- [31:21]
B
Exactly, Exactly. All right. Take your temperature.
- [31:24]
A
Okay.
- [31:25]
B
And then put on top of your head, you want to have three fingers of space between the top of your head and the top of the frame. So you've got like a. Yeah.
- [31:32]
A
So you can even improve my posture.
- [31:35]
B
You can improve your posture or you can change your camera angle. So. But oftentimes people don't think about that, so. Yeah, exactly. Yes. And I love doing this in the class too because in automatic you see everybody go whoop. They all take space. But you want. And I don't do this just because I think it's fun to like watch people do this. Which it is fun. But you know, think about if you're talking to people face to face, you're reading their non verbals from about this much space and you want to Recreate that same canvas virtually for them to read.
- [32:10]
A
That's a great tip. I love this. And so you have resources to help people, a little cheat sheet, right, that people can find on your website.
- [32:19]
B
There's so many resources on speakerdynamics.com so, you know, among like a listing of all the different things we do and we play in in basically four different areas. Powerful presentations, executive presence, managing the media interview, you know, handling the hot seat, which makes sense because my team largely comes from a news background and then virtual presence for impact and influence. So those are our four different areas that we focus on. But we also have a very robust resource hub that has things like videos that will focus on specific skill sets. We have Speaker Dynamics University, which is that platform that I mentioned that is very accessible that anybody can, can use. It's, it's relatively inexpensive, you know, under a hundred dollars for a really robust course that is not just like video tutorial and content quiz. It's got multiple layers to it so that you can actually learn and then play with the content in the portal itself, including recording yourself. We have written the four books so you can get access to, you know, downloading free chapters and there's just a lot on there that you can use in order to, you know, improve your communication skill set bit by bit. And that's really the best way to do it.
- [33:38]
A
Thank you for sharing that for our listeners because I think again, the end of the year when you have that training budget that you haven't used or you might be thinking about areas you'd like your team to develop, or even if you are one of those growing leaders who wants to advance within a company or just be more effective in your role, investing some time and attention to your communication skills is obviously an incredibly useful way to grow in your professional.
- [34:08]
B
And if they do want to use Speaker Dynamics University for a team like say, if you're buying in bulk, reach out to us and we can give you a better rate based upon, you know, bulk purchases made in advance. There you go.
- [34:21]
A
Listeners directly from Karen. That's excellent. I wonder if, if as we're just sort of finishing our conversation today, Executive presence is something that people talk about a lot in a place that I think people feel very, very inferior. People feel, you know, a little embarrassed maybe of how they show up or lacking confidence in this space. If there were one or two tips that you could share, whether it's verbal, non verbal or in some other context. What, what are some easy ways to improve your executive presence? For the owner of the company or this. The entrepreneur?
- [35:04]
B
Sure. I mean, the, the biggest one is seek authenticity over perfection. You know, I think there is this.
- [35:13]
Misperception that you need to be the font of all information. You need to have all the answers. You need to speak perfectly every time you're conversing with somebody. And that's not the case. In fact, new research that came out recently by Sylvia Ann Hewlett in her book Executive Presence 2.0, mentioned that one of the most prized characteristics of those who possess strong executive presence is authenticity. So that should give you freedom to be a bit more vulnerable, to be yourself, to, you know, have that resonate with your audience. Because when you do that, then it gives them more freedom to be authentic as well. And if you bring your authentic self to work, then you're going to get the best product out of them. So that's the big thing, you know, be. Be authentic. If you don't know the answer to something, it's fine, you know, admit that and then follow up. Like, that's a huge part of it. There's also, you know, a matter of how you. You communicate with presence, how it manifests. So you mentioned people lack confidence. There is a big distinction between confidence and arrogance. So confidence means I'm comfortable in my own skin. I know what I do well, I know what I don't do well, and I'm willing to reach out to others to help me to shore that up. So it. But it's being comfortable in your own skin and, and owning your expertise, owning your experience up to that date, but being open. Share it with others that have others share their skills with you. And then it's a matter of also making sure that you connect the dots. So sometimes there's a tendency to get down in the weeds and, and, you know, share all the dots. But really what your people are looking for is for you to connect the dots and share with them what the big picture is and, and then help them to understand how their role fits into that big picture.
- [37:18]
A
I think something that I see that takes away from authority or effectiveness is over talking.
- [37:26]
B
Yes. Yeah, exactly.
- [37:28]
A
Yeah.
- [37:29]
B
Sharing all the dots. Thoughts, stop. It's too much to take in. Like, we, we. We trust that you know what you're talking about, but explain to us what that means and, and, and how we can interpret it through our own roles and our own lenses. You know, I think that's a critical piece. You do not need to over explain. You need to be the voice of reason and authority and people will, Will, will trust you to to guide them with that information at hand.
- [38:00]
A
Do you have different advice for developing executive presence between men and women?
- [38:06]
B
You know, and this is so interesting. One of the people who I'm going to be having on my. My podcast is Kate Mason, and she wrote the book Powerfully Likable, and it's all about effective communication for women. I'm not through enough of it to be able to. To share with you some tidbits, but I think this is a really hot topic, and one of the things that I push back against is some traditional advice that you need to be more like a guy when you, you know, present yourself. But I feel like our superpower is, you know, our authentic self and, and, you know, being open, being.
- [38:54]
Willing to share, you know, some of the emotion behind, you know, the reasons why we're doing things I think gains you respect. So, you know, more. It's me counseling women to not feel like they need to be more like men and just, you know, there's a superpower in there, you know, and I'll just show. This is kind of an aside, but it might illustrate the point. This is back in. When I was doing TV news and we. I was working tag team with another reporter, and we were both covering this really horrific story about a fire where there were multiple children who were killed. And he said, and he was doing the nuts and bolts story, and I was doing more of the, you know, the impact, the psychological impact on. On the firefighters who were managing this, and there have been a string of fires. And he said, I'll get, I'll get, get some.
- [39:47]
Video clips for you. I'll do some interviews for you. You can do them for me. I'm like, great. So we come back together. I'm looking at the, the video that he had gathered, and his interviews were so sanitized and sterile and. And I thought, wow, okay. When I did the interview, it was a very different approach. And the, the answers I got were. Were so much more genuine and heartfelt. And I thought, okay, in that case, like, that was a superpower, you know, that I had that I might not have recognized. So I think not shying away from that is really important. You know, allowing yourself to connect and your ability to connect with your team is going to garner respect and it's going to allow you to find success, you know, in your relationships individually with them, but also, you know, the success of the business as a whole. Yeah.
- [40:46]
A
Great advice. Great advice. Karen, thank you for sharing all of the resources that you've sort of connected us to through speaker dynamics and the tips that you've shared with us today. Because I love our listeners to be able to kind of put some of these tips, you know, right to work on their very next call or their very next conversation they'll be having. So thank you for that and so much more that we can connect into with you on our own, on our own time. So thanks for being such a great resource to our listeners.
- [41:21]
B
Thank you so much for having me, Sarah. It's been a lot of fun.
- [41:24]
A
Thanks for listening to the Conscious Entrepreneur. Every episode here is meant to sharpen how you lead and how you live. If something landed for you, please share it. Founder to founder. I'll meet you here next week.